#i fear it will be my biggest bi panic

[xcherryerim]

kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong kim sejeong

[tonowarislut]

RHEA RIPLEY X READER

! Soft Content, a bit of cussing, use of her real name !

English is not my first language, sorry for eventual errors

Orlando, Florida means one thing... TRAFFIC JAM.

"Hey babe i'm stuck in the traffic...shit this bastard!" said an upset Demi.

"What happened?" You asked worried shifting your phone to the other ear.

"Oh nothing babe just a fucker cutting my way with his scooter" answered the wrestler

"I always wondered how this type of people have a license, they are a living danger jeez" you said

"Yeah i should've run over him and his stupid scooter" replied the girl

"Demi! Hahahaha you can't!" My god. She was so funny. You were so lucky to have her as a girlfriend.

Demi thought the same thing. When you first met she was so fascinated, you were so respectful, kind and funny. That's why she decided to get to know you.

Where you met? On backstage 2 year ago, during a short interview. You were the interviewer.

You asked something like her favorite holiday, biggest pet peeve, fan crush, biggest fear...

Since the atmosphere during the interview was to her liking, light, she decided to exchange numbers.

The rest happened fast.

Becoming friends, be there for just a (favorite cafè beverage) or a serious topic like her brake up with his ex boyfriend or her matches.

You had so much fun with her and then, some months later you fell in love. You adored her.

She was always there for you and you for her.

At first you didn't say anything, you just wanted to be near the wrestler as a friend i mean.. she was heterosexual you hadn't a chance but then you decided to tell her because she was becoming a really important and special person in your life.

You just couldn't give up your romantic feelings so you needed Rhea to reject you to move on or the opposite.

Flashback

You were at the wrestler house, on the couch, for a movie night.

Yeah movie night. You become so close that every Saturday possible you would come to her house to watch a movie. From horror to comedy movies.

"Demi i need to tell you something" you said nervously worried

Rhea looked in your eyes and asked you, worried as well "Yeah, tell me... Is everything okay Y/n?"

You nodded "Yes! Everything is fine but i'm a little nervous. I know how to say this but i don't know how you will take it, i want to tell you without you excluding me from your life. I care too much now, i'd be sad if you left me "

Demi took your hands and played with your fingers to relax you "Don't worry darling i won't leave you..." Then you saw her gasp and say "No! No Y/n you traitor. I know what you did, where this is going"

You died in the spot. Fuck. You were fucked.

"You, you watched the new Dragonball film without me, like we promised" she continued saying.

"What? Ahahahah No! Demi! You almost gave me a heart attack" you said slapping her tattooed toned arm.

"Agh it's all so easy and hard at the same time! Okay i'll tell you" she squeezed your hands in reassurance and after looking at her beautiful eyes you find the courage "I-I simply love you Demi, not only as a friend"

Her expression calmed for a second and then she gave you a big smile.

"I do too" she answered you, her thick Australian accent showing.

At this point you didn't know what made you go more crazy, if her answer or the accent you loved.

You blinked and screamed low "WHAT?! REALLY?! But i thought you.."

She laughed and said "Yeah. It was a surprise for me too. I realized it last month when you were being cute to the barista, when i saw her gay panic i though 'I can relate' "

Whispering you repeated her words not believing it "Gay panic?"

You went red. You were excitedly and positively embarrassed.

Demi "yeah"

You "Are you Bi?"

Demi "Yeah i'm"

You "I thought...i thought"

Demi "Me too but here i'm. Not a big thing. Love is love. I only know that i love talking and spending time with you and to tell you the truth i'm dying to kiss you. Can i kiss you? "

You "Yeah! Of cour-"

She hugged and kissed you sweetly. You then sit on her lap, grabbed gently her hair and deepened the kiss.

Finally you were kissing your beloved Demi Bennett and your stomach was feeling it all. Spinning and twisting.

After the kiss you rested your forehead on hers and smiled, she did the same.

You were so happy.

You hugged her neck and told her "I love you, i love youu" she laughed, rubbing your back and answered "me too babe"

That's how the answers to that song you often listened and related were answered.

What song? More than a friend by Girli

[artiststarme]

My Happy Fics

Here is my ever-growing list of humorous/fluff/happy fics. These should make you laugh and cry happy tears, ideally. Please leave your thoughts in the comments!

-"Get in the van, Steve."

A short, one shot fic about Steve getting accidentally kidnapped. No harm, no foul, am I right?

-"A Little Fruity"

A short, one shot fic about Eddie coming out to Uncle Wayne by accident. (Everything turns out fine).

-Ex-fucking-cuse You

Steve has a hard time vocalizing his thoughts and feelings. But all of that changes when Eddie enters his life. He makes him try and do better.

-It's Fucking Cold

Eddie loves traveling with Steve but the one thing that he can't get behind are the cold-ass hotel rooms.

-Wayne's Unspoken Shovel Talk

Wayne didn't think he needed to give Steve the shovel talk on behalf of his nephew. It was implied and he meant what he meant.

-Van Vandalism

When the people of Hawkins keep vandalizing Eddie's van after Spring Break, Steve takes matters into his own hands.

-A cute little addition/ending to the story (Part 2)

-Oblivious Eddie

Steve realizes that he's bi and immediately starts flirting with Eddie. Now if only Eddie could be more observant and start flirting back!

-Sunflowers

A soft fic about Eddie not thinking he's a good boyfriend and Steve not thinking he deserves Eddie but then they both realize that they're perfect for each other.

-Eddie Hates Drinking Water

Eddie doesn't hate a lot of things but he's never been able to get behind drinking water. Until Steve tricks him into liking it when they start dating.

-When Life Gives You Lemons...

Eddie has a unique way of dealing with anxiety but you know what they say, when life gives you lemons....

-... You Make Lemonade

Part 2 of the series where Eddie makes up his own idioms and accidentally comes out to Steve in a play on words.

-April Fool's

Just a short story on how I think Steve and Eddie would handle April Fool's Day. Chaos, Romance, and Misunderstandings, oh my!

-Intrusive Thoughts

Eddie is prone to voicing his intrusive thoughts and he accidentally gaslights Steve into thinking they're his when he doesn't remember. Cue panic, protective best friends, and name-calling!

-No Steves Allowed!

Eddie has one firm rule in Hellfire; Steve Harrington is not to be mentioned under any circumstances. It works until it doesn't.

-Steve Has a Minor Fear of Spiders

Everyone is afraid of something. It just so happens that Steve has a debilitating fear of spiders and Eddie has to find out the hard way.

-College is for me but only if it’s us

Eddie and Steve make plans to go to college together. The Party learns some surprising news.

-Strike!

Hopper goes to pick up Steve for a family bowling outing and gets more than he bargained for.

-Goddamn Wheelers!

Hopper is the biggest supporter of LGBT+ as long as it keeps the Wheeler family out of his life. Steve dating Eddie Munson? Fine. El breaking up with Mike Wheeler? Absolutely fantastic! Will dating Mike instead? WHY???

-A Date Gone Wrong

Eddie was never going to let Steve plan an outing for their date again. First hiking, now squirrels? Absolutely not.

-Utter Chaos

Steve would do anything to protect his Platonic with a capital P soulmate... Like outing himself to cover for her.

-Highway to Hell

Steve is a really bad driver in actuality and when Eddie tries to tell people, no one will believe him!

-A Sleepwalking Surprise

A sleepy Steve outs him and Eddie to the kids. Luckily for them, they escape the ensuing chaos.

-Interested or Not?

It takes Steve way longer to realize Eddie is into him than it should. Luckily for him, it all works out.

-Wayne Deserves Way More Credit

Wayne loves Steve for his nephew and he'll do his best to keep them together despite Eddie's stupid decisions.

-A Zoom Call Gone Wrong...

A modern Steddie AU where Eddie interrupts Steve's college course zoom call in the worst way possible.

-Shakespeare? Gay as Hell

The reason Eddie keeps failing English is because he keeps making his essays gay. Wayne approves and Mrs. O'Donnell definitely does not. Based on this post!

-Hellfire Adopts Steve

Hellfire adopts Steve in high school after the fall of King Steve.

-From Alibi to Reality

Steve acts as Eddie's alibi for the cops to clear his name. It only escalates from there.

-Happy Halloween!

Halloween of 1986 is the best day of Eddie Munson's life and he attributes most of that to Steve.

-Baby, it's cold outside

Eddie only likes Winter when he has Steve there to warm him up.

-Unnamed thus far

Will comes out to Steve and Steve just can't figure out why. Things become clearer with time.

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Since camp nano is done(goal of 50k reached) I have a chance to work on some Buddie fics as well as my Lucifer/Buck/Eddie WIP.

Heavy is the Ocean story for the adopted cover by @ronordmann

Summary: At one time Buck loved the ocean, then it tried to take those he loves most from him. Now he grapples with a love/hate relationship with it and wants nothing more than to overcome the fear that keeps him from enjoying the water. Eddie vows to be there every step of Buck's journey. 

As the World Falls Down another fic for an adopted cover art by the talented @ronordmann

Summary: Desperate to save Daniel Margaret and Philip make a deal with the Fae they will give up their son Evan for the magic to save their wanted son and on his twenty-first birthday Evan will be brought to the Fae court where he will marry Prince Eddie of the Diaz clan. 

Unnamed Buddie fic, where Eddie has a stalker who will do anything to get Eddie to themselves, including getting rid of the two most important people in his life, Buck and Christopher.

A Tommy x Buck that endgame pairings are Buddie and Tommy x Ravi.

Pining Eddie and Pining Ravi. Including Bonnie Bennett from TVD as Ravi best friend.

Teaser: Watching Ravi face plant into the couch and try to suffocate himself with his pillow had Bonnie popping the spoon of chocolate ice cream she just fed herself and watched her over dramatic friend.

“So I assume that something big happened today. Ooh did Buddie finally get together.” As Ravi muffled his answer into the pillow. “This time without the pillow.” 

Rolling over Ravi looked at Bonnie, a mournful look on his face. “I met Tommy today.”

“And that is a bad thing?” Bonnie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“He is one of the hottest guys I have ever laid eyes on.”

“Okay so not seeing the problem.” 

“I wanted him to take me apart, make me a begging mess and then do it all over again. I can't have those kinds of thoughts! He is Buck's boyfriend!” 

“Wow, that suck's for you. A total hot top and he is taken.” Bonnie patted Ravi on the head.

“Your compassion is duly noted and not welcomed."

Second teaser: “I asked Marisol to move in with us.” As Christopher stared at him, Eddie grew nervous and wiped his sweat palms on his jeans as he waited for his son to say something. “I know I should have discussed this with you first.”

“Dad, is this because Buck is dating Tommy?

Eddie reared back, “What? No! Buck being bi and having a boyfriend has nothing to do with this.”

The judgemental eyebrow Christopher gave him was his Abuela's. “That's not what I asked. I know you don't have an issue with our Buck being bi. You are his biggest supporter. Dad, you're jealous because it is Tommy dating Buck and not you. You dated Ana for longer than you have Marisol and never gave her a key. Marisol still doesn't have a key and suddenly you are asking her to move in only a few weeks after learning Buck is bi and dating Tommy.”

Eddie could only stare slack jawed at his son.

Reaching out Christopher took one of his dad's hands in his own, “Dad, I am not the only one in this house who has issues in feeling abandoned or why I am not enough for someone to stay. Mom didn't just leave me, she left you too. Marisol is nice but is she the one you want to open your heart to? To live here with us? Because if it is then I support you but maybe you should start by giving her a key and hold off on moving in until you guys have dated for a year.”

“What about you?” Eddie asked in a soft voice.

“We both know who I want here but I support you in whatever you choose as long as it doesn't give you a panic attack.”

Eddie couldn't stop the bark of laughter that escaped him. “I am so lucky to have you as a kid.”

The cheeky look Christopher tossed at him was all him, “Yeah, you are.”

Third teaser: “Would you ever consider getting married again?” Buck's voice is soft as if he doesn't want to break the spell woven around them.

“There is only one person I would consider marrying.” Eddie placed his hand on top of Buck's and the sheer hope in those blue eyes had Eddie licking his suddenly dry lips, “and I am looking at him right now.”

[queersatanic]

Bisexuality & Discrimination By Lani Kaahumanu

Source: Bi women: the newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women's Network, Vol. 3, No. 6 (Dec. 1985-Jan. 1986)

Full text:

One of the biggest “jokes" of the Lesbian/Gay parade every year was observing the bisexual contingent. As far as I was concerned they were a bunch of closet cases, not deserving of serious consideration. As a lesbian, I felt superior in some ways and was embarrassed for them. How naive to take the bisexual “stage” seriously. I was sure their confusion would clear up and they would “come out” when they let go of the very real heterosexual privilege they were obviously clinging to. Why else would anyone say they were bisexual?

This deep rooted contempt and ignorance of bisexuality is common in the Lesbian/Gay community. It is these attitudes that kept me closeted. The few times I was sexual with a man, it was understood that l was a Lesbian who still had some issues to “work out” with men. I didn't even consider bisexuality; it wasn't a legitimate possibility. Furthermore, I would be ostracized from the supportive women’s community and run the risk of [losing] all my friends.

When I first claimed my bisexuality the panic and feelings of isolation were overwhelming, but I knew that trusting myself was the only way to live life no matter what the outside circumstances. I realized that my biphobic attitudes were in direct proportion to my own suppressed bisexual feelings. My new found awareness had nothing to do with privilege, or an inability on my part to make a choice. These feelings had everything to do with being a bisexual in a world that denies our existence.

Since enforced heterosexuality affects us in ways we are still discovering/recovering from, I want to discuss the validity of the idea of stages, and the fact that for my sexuality, Lesbianism was a stage. Now this could be taken as a rather shocking, politically incorrect and unsisterly statement. lt is not meant as such. I am not denying Lesbian existence by expressing my sexual attraction for certain women and men. It doesn't make me wishy-washy, confused, untrustworthy, or more sexually liberated. It makes me a bisexual.

The polarized heterosexist “norm” and, to a lesser degree, the homosexist “norm” sees bisexuality exclusively as a “phase” from one to the other and perhaps back again, invalidating it as a way to be, a chosen sexuality per se. However, if we take a closer look, we see that in our lives we have exploratory periods. Many Lesbians and Gay men had heterosexual and/or bisexual stages before they clarified their homosexual feelings. It is in this way that exclusive heterosexuality and homosexuality are often transitional for bisexuals. So what's important here, is that no matter where your sexual preference ends up, it is the use of the word “stage” of “phase” as a oneup attitude that hurts every one of us.

Bisexuals have been part of the heterosexual communities since the beginning of time. We are an “invisible” minority within both categories. No matter which community a bisexual “belongs to,” hiding feels the same, in that it perpetuates the experience of isolation, fear of discovery/loss, alienation, self doubt—the list goes on and is all too to those closeted. But because AIDS is a menacing presence, there is a false sense of “security” one gets from staying in, or returning to the closet. It is important for me as a lesbian identified bisexual woman, who is politically dedicated to and active in the feminist movement, to discuss bisexuality, as a valid lifestyle, to challenge the prejudices and encourage people to come out.

Regardless of how I want to label or not label my behavior, it must be discussed when I am getting to know someone. I feel a sense of responsibility about being honest with who I am and what my sexual behavior is—whether or not I call myself a bisexual, a lesbian, a lesbian identified bisexual, or even a lesbian who sleeps with men on occasion. It is the behavior that is important. Whatever same/cross sexuality combination there might be, labels and behavior are not mutually exclusive. When some people are made invisible, and others more politically/socially correct it forms new or maintains the old hierarchies. There is no politically/socially correct sexual preference. There is sexual behavior that is on a spectrum of many possibilities.

Since we live in a society that is based and thrives on dichotomous, either/or assumptions, the decision to come out as a bisexual makes the issues surrounding personal behavior and labels confusing, to say the least. When I was coming out I understood that I would be seen as a traitor, weakening lesbian pride and unity. The self doubt and isolation I felt were very real. There is a grain of truth that coming out undermines the lesbian gay movement because bisexuality gives credence to the homophobic/heterosexist belief that there is no such thing as a homosexual. But it is also true that in the long run not coming out as a bisexual undercuts not only the personal liberation of bisexual people, but it perpetuates the equally dangerous belief that there is no such thing as a bisexual.

I recognize that homophobia is at the root of biphobia. I came to lesbianism long before my sexuality was clear to me. I lived an open lesbian lifestyle for four years. I cannot deny the importance of this experience, nor do I want to. For me lesbian identity is more than, and/or in addition to sexuality; it is a political awareness which bisexuality doesn't [alter] or detract from. 10 years ago when I left my husband and full-time role of motherhood, it didn’t make me less conscious of what being a mother means. In fact, it gave me a deeper understanding. I am still a mother. That experience cannot be taken away from me. In much the same way, my lesbian awareness isn't lost now that I claim my bisexuality. When I realized my woman-loving-woman feelings, and came out as a lesbian, I had no heterosexual privilege; yet there were important males in my life, including a son. I am a bisexual because it’s real for me, not in order to acquire or flaunt the privilege that is inherent in being with men. My political consciousness is lesbian but my lifestyle is bisexual. If I keep myself quiet for another's sense of pride and liberation, it is at the cost of my own which isn't healthy—emotionally, politically or medically. Not only is it unhealthy, it’s ineffective.

Since I have come out I have triggered many lesbians to blurt in whispered confidence—“I have a man in the closet. You're brave to be so open. What am I going to do?” These are not easy times. AIDS has given biphobia free reign in the lesbian community (and admittedly with much less destructive effect than how AIDS is fueling homophobia in society at large). It is all right to trash bisexuals, not to trust us for fear of AIDS. Bisexuals are untouchables to some lesbians.

We have to deal with oppression in a constructive way or we will be factionalized forever. Time is running out. We have to see the whole and the part we play in it. Forming family communities with people who share your sexual identity is important, but trashing is nonproductive. The sexual choices we make are equally valid for our individual experiences. AIDS is not a gay disease; it is a human tragedy, a plague that doesn't recognize boundaries. I urge bisexuals to take a political stand, and to become a visible, viable energy force. It is important and timely to open this dialogue in each of our communities. Nobody belongs in the closet. The only way to get a sense of “our” community is for us to begin to speak out and identify ourselves. When we verify the connections and the networks of our oppression, we build a unity that avoids the, "I'm more oppressed than you" syndrome.”

---

Reprinted from the 1985 Gay Pride March magazine, San Francisco.

---

Lani Kaahumanu is a feminist writer, actor, political activist and mother of 2 living in San Francisco. She has B.A’s in Women Studies and Psychology from San Francisco State University, and is currently working on a book on bisexuality and the feminist movement. She co-coordinated the BI-POL contingent in the 1984 Lesbian Gay Freedom Day Parade which won the Cable Car Award for The Most Outrageous Contingent.

[futurebicon]

While I work on a longer fic I decided I would share some headcanons I had about our boys

Mentions of child abuse, anxiety, depression, foster care, injury

Sirius has social anxiety, like bad social anxiety but because of his upbringing he’s master hiding it.

Sometimes it’s gotten so bad that it made him get physically sick.

Remus is really the only one who knows about his anxiety. And he’s also the only thing that can calm him down.

Sirius also has bad depression. He refused to tell Remus about it until Remus found his anti-depressants one day. He’s so scared of people finding out it’s not even in his medical records.

All of the Cubs also have depression from having to hide their sexuality. Leo has it the worst out of the three of them and it still sometimes hits him.

The reason Dumo adopts everyone and makes sure that they all have somewhere to go is because he was raised in foster care after his parents abandoned him at 7 years old.

He never wants any of them to feel the way he did.

Adele Dumais is bi.

Sirius cried watching Call Me By Your Name. (So did the Cubs)

The entire team cried watching The Notebook and Titanic

To this day they will still randomly launch into a rant about how there was enough room on the door.

The reason Sirius has such a long routine and it has so many different parts is because he started doing it when his depression and anxiety got bad or his parents where worse than usual.

Remus still gets pain in his shoulder from Greyback.

The team destroyed Greyback when they played his team.

Remus acted like he was bad at them for it but was also really greatful.

Remus has anxiety from Greybacks attack. He jumps everytime someone puts a hand on his shoulder or bumps into it. He panics badly when someone corners him. Even if it’s just when he’s in between two walls in the PT room and someone walks up to him to ask for something.

But like Sirius he’s good at hiding it.

Sirius loves Julian. He asks Remus all the time to invite his family up and when they’re there he helps Julian practice on his rink.

Remus’s heart explodes everytime he sees it.

Sirius always pecks Remus’s lips when he gets on or off the ice.

If Sirius is off the ice for a while Remus rests his chin on his shoulder.

The fans think that the two of them are adorable.

A lot of them have told them that they changed their views on homosexuality.

When the Cubs come out so many other poly couples come out as well and thank them for making polygamy a more common thing.

As much as James loves his blue Gatorade he has no idea what flavor it actually is. It’s just...blue Gatorade.

The entire team has ADHD. Like, all of them. Ranging in severity from James level to Remus level.

Sirius doesn’t seem like he has ADHD because his parents.

But he definitely is.

Remus sees it the most and is glad that he’s comfortable enough to fidget or rant about his interests to him or talk so fast Remus has no idea what he’s saying.

He also fidgets with his necklace a lot.

Lily and Nat are bi (?)

The team argues over the stupidest stuff all the time. They’re biggest fight to date is the debate over whether or not water is wet.

“Water is a noun. Wet is an adjective. Nouns describe adjectives. Adjectives are not nouns. You don’t go to the ocean and say ‘Wow that’s a really wet ocean.’ Water in and of itself is not wet. Water makes you wet. Fire isn’t burn, fire burns things. Wet is a form of being. Water is what causes the being”

They didn’t talk for 3 days.

Remus is actually a really good artist

Sirius can sing. Like sing-sing and play guitar.

He started strumming his guitar when some of the team was over. He forgot they were there and started singing.

James took a video of it and posted it on Instagram. Sirius beat him up with a shoe.

Logan has the most sensitive neck in the world. Like a simple kiss makes him moan.

The boys use it to torture him constantly. If they’re in the locker room they’ll kiss it, Logan has to bite his cheek to keep quiet.

They’ll also bite it in the locker room. Logan feels like he’s going to combust when they do.

They can never just make out because while ones kissing them the others on their neck.

And Logan is L-O-U-D

Leo and Finn love it so it always turns into more.

Sirius takes Remus’s last name when they get married, saying that it will finally free him from his family.

He changes it for his hockey jersey as a final fuck you to his parents. The fact that it wasn’t their name at the top of the NHL best players list.

When Sirius and Remus get married Sirius gets baby fever, like badly.

He’s tried to take Harry multiple times.

Everytime he sees a baby in the crowd, especially baby girls he points them out to Remus and tells him he wants one.

“I want that one.”

“Sirius you can’t steal that baby it’s illegal.”

“But I want one”

Remus always responds with “Later” Sirius kisses his cheek and says that he wants one sooner than letter.

They eventually do start the adoption process and adopt a 7 month old baby girl.

They name her Avyanna Verena Lupin

Sirius’s biggest fear now is turning into his parents.

Everytime he says something to her that his parents told him, even if it’s a normal parenting thing. Or anytime he shouts at her because she’s doing something bad or dangerous Remus holds him as he cried that night.

Remus is scared that Sirius fear of this will grow worse the older Avyanna gets.

The team adores all the baby’s.

Sirius teaches her how to skate the second shes able to stand. She skates by herself before she walks by herself.

Family skate is much more fun when you have your own kid.

@lumosinlove

I might make another if I get anymore ideas but I thought I would upload this until my longer fic is done. Please continue to send in more asks. The ideas you have are amazing.

[acreepypastaloverposts]

Heyy! May I have a match-up? If they aren't open or I already sent you one then feel free to delete this! Thank you in advance! Also hopefully this is enough info!

So I'm a straight girl (might be bi but I'm gonna go with straight for now) I prefer the basic she/her pronouns.

I'm an august leo and a ENTP. Im not sure if you needed to know that but just In case.

I'm about 5'5, I'm very skinny and have a very petite body build, I'm pretty pale and I have freckles all over my body and face (people pick on me for it) I have straight brown hair that goes to the middle of my back and I have brown eyes.

My style is grunge (I'm talking real grunge btw not the new grunge) I like to wear flannels, combat boots, band t-shirts etc. But I also wear sports jackets with jeans/shorts or oversized sweatshirts because they are comfy af.

For my personality I can be very shy and closed off but I'm usually very outgoing, goofy, and very very saracastic. I can also be SUPER stubborn and competitive when I wanna be.

Some of my hobbies are swimming and running but mainly swimming! I love swimming and I have gotten trophies, ribbons, medals and things like that because I was on a swim team for about 9 years.

I also love 90's and some 80's rock like basically "dad rock" or whatever you wanna call it. But also emo music/alternative or punk rock is also really good too. (90's is the best tho)

I Match You Up With:

BEN Drowned -

SO FUCKING HAPPY TO HAVE SOMEONE SMALLER THEN HIM.

He just can't help staring at you.

He's ecstatic.

Your small petite body fits comfortably with him so he'll always have you sit in his lap while he plays games.

Don't worry he'll always put the offer out to play with him.

He'll be happy to accept any kind of competition you want.

And if he likes you that much he might even let you win a few games :)

He finds your freckles really gosh darn cute.

Obviously having you in his lap makes it easier for him to see said freckles and without thinks he'll just kiss every freckle he finds.

If anyone mentions anything about it/makes you uncomfortable with what they say, he'll end them.

Or he'll let you prank them with him.

He absolutely LIVES for the grunge aesthetic.

Thinks you look amazing and will constantly as you to dress him up so he can see how he looks.

Thinks the fact that you can go from shy to goofy is adorable af

And if you ever make a sarcastic comeback to Jeff (HEART EYES MOTHERFUCKER)

Even though the thought of being anywhere near water sends him into a near panic mode

He can't help but admire you.

Like water is pretty much his biggest fear and like

You're not scared of it in the slightest.

Would want to know how you got every trophy, ribbon and medal.

Can and will brag about it to the others.

Like I imagine someone threatening to throw him in the late and he wouldn't even be phased by it saying that he won't need to worry because you would save him.

Honestly he just likes all kinds of music

He just vibes 24/7

But will listen to you're favourite bands/genre of music more.

[ladyfiresfanfiction]

Flying the Nest - One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest Fic - Chapter One

I’ve had this fic percolating in my brain for about four months and I am now just letting it flow. I hope you guys will like it! Please let me know what you all think. I’m a bit rusty haha, so I hope I don’t suck! Chapter One under the cut. Chapter two will be posted tomorrow!

I am standing shakily in the hallway of a whitewashed building. Ahead is rows and rows of rooms, art and photography and pamphlets adorn the walls. But I am staring with utmost fascination at the black and white and brownish designs of the tiled floor. Snapped back to the unpleasant present by a nurse not much older than I, I'm guided through heavy white double doors into what I would usually call the Room of Hell; a peer counseling room or area in multiple buildings I have become well acquainted with in the last eighteen months.

To my surprise, I am met with familiar blue-green eyes and a face turning ashen with shock upon seeing me. My older brother, Mac.

"Baby Jane? What the hell are you doing here?" Mac asks in his gruff yet gravelly voice. I shrug, forcing a slight smile as he walks toward me, against the wishes of the bitchy looking blonde nurse seated less than one hundred yards ahead of me and envelopes me in his infamous bear hugs I had missed greatly. I found myself holding tightly to my brother's arms, afraid that if I were to let go, I would break into pieces in the middle of the room that would soon become my greatest fear and biggest location of loathing.

"Alright, Mister McMurphy, let your sister go now, thank you. And Miss McMurphy, please take the empty seat right here, between your brother and Mister Bibbit. Thank you. My name is Nurse Ratchet, welcome to our home of healing." The nurse said as I took my seat. As I sat down, my eyes locked onto the bluest eyes I have ever seen, so much so that my heart skipped a beat.

"Ah, yes," Mac laughed as my cheeks turned a light pink. "This is the man of the hour, Janie. His name is-" "M-m-m-my name is-i-is b-bi-b-Billy." The beautiful boy with gorgeous blue eyes stammered. "I-it-its nice to m-m-meet you, Miss." He finished with a shy smile.

Before I could utter a reply to Billy, I was interrupted.

"Miss Jane McMurphy? Come with me, please." The resident doctor, named Doctor Spivey. My heart started hammering in my chest as I reflexively grabbed Mac's hand. Doctor Spivey was a reserved yet kind-looking man as he waited patiently in the doorway, noticing the apprehension on my face. Mac patted my shoulder with encouragement as he nodded towards Spivey.

"I'm just a couple of rooms away, Janie. He's a nice doc. Go on, now, and I'll give ya a tour when you're back." Mac said in a low voice, nodding toward the waiting doctor. I let go of his hand as I stood up and slowly walked towards Spivey. He waved his hand toward the left corridor and said the admissions room was on the left. I whispered something I couldn't even hear and walked slowly as if the path I was taking was going straight to the gates of the Underworld. Doctor Spivey walked a couple of paces behind me, guiding me to the right room, or possibly making sure I didn't try to bolt to the entrance door about fifty steps from his office.

As we made it into the office, he waved his hand toward a comfortable-looking brown leather chair behind a large mahogany desk. It had a manilla envelope with what could be mistaken as someone's novel manuscript but was actually my medical history and doctor's notes from past mental hospital and emergency room stays since July of '61, nearly two years ago.

"Make yourself at home, Miss McMurphy," Doctor Spivey began as he took his seat in a large-looking leather desk chair that matched his massive desk. He peered over my notes, tsking at some parts while his sparse salt-and-pepper-colored eyebrows shot up at other areas of my history. When he finally looked at me, I felt my stomach lurch and the room became unbearably hot. I knew I was in the middle of a raging panic attack, but I tried to keep on my Pokerface in fear of what might happen if I started to become undone.

"Well now, Miss McMurphy. Says here you are about to turn twenty-two years of age and were a junior in college. What uh, brings you here?" He asked, softly. "My... ex-fiance, he killed himself almost two years ago. I had also been dealing with physical health setbacks and was falling behind in classes on top of his untimely death. I just... Couldn't handle it anymore." I replied while my voice was barely above a whisper. "I see. It also says here you've overdosed on opium and cocaine, as well as gotten alcohol poisoning a few times. Is that right?" He asked, his eyes boring into me over thick black spectacles. "Well, like I said, I wasn't handling Charles's death... well... And I have been in and out of the hospital since my freshman year of high school. I just wanted everything to stop." I replied in a flat tone. "Your brother wasn't around much, I see. He had no idea you were in this much emotional distress? And what of your parents?" The doctor asked, watching me closely.

I could feel my forehead begin to prickle with droplets of sweat and my knuckles turned white as I gripped the wood arms of the chair. I tried to gather my thoughts so I could talk in a more rational way, but my throat kept closing and opening, and my eyes began to fill with white-hot tears anytime I opened my mouth, which caused me to shut it and open it a number of times.

"We're more than happy to keep you on as a patient in our ward. I feel you could benefit from our help and could leave quite possibly around the time your brother does We offer services to get you back on your feet once you feel comfortable and safe enough on your own. There is a ladies ward a floor right above the men. You are welcome to visit your brother in the daytime, but we do have strict rules about nightly visits and no, um, congregating with the male patients here.  We have activities as well as counseling to help when things are rough. I need to finish looking over your medical history and we will see what we can give you to help with these night terrors and panic attacks. I'll take you back to Nurse Ratched now, she or Mac can take you to the second floor or give you a tour of our ward. If you have any questions please let me know. You can always let Nurse Ratched or the other nurses know when you need to speak with me. I usually meet with my patients once a week in the morning.

It was a lot to take in, but I nodded, only half-listening. So far this was still a voluntary thing and I could leave whenever I wished. However, now that I knew Mac was here, I was thinking of waiting until he left with me. I didn't trust myself alone anymore. And I couldn't get that beautiful blue-eyed boy out of my head. Charles always said he would send me people when I needed them most and he couldn't be there for me. I was beginning to wonder if he sent me to Oregon State Hospital, and brought me back to my long-lost brother. As I walked back into the Room of Hell, facing who I was sure was Satan's wife, I smiled half-condescendingly to her and made my way to Mac, ready to see where I would be staying for at least the next month, or longer.

"Ready to tell me what the hell is going on and why you haven't called me, Janie?" Mac asked, looking concerned. "Yeah, let's talk while we explore this house full of nuts," I smirked, making Mac laugh. "Okay then. Let's start from the beginning, shall we?" He asked, extending his arm to me. "It's not pretty, but I'm sure this place isn't so pretty either," I replied, placing my hand on his arm as we began to walk towards the front of the building. "Something tells me your story isn't that pretty either, sister. Now start talking."

[draganasimpsforjeff]

If anyone is curious

So I figured there should be a time on when I should share my mental illnesses, even though it's none of anyone business, I still want to be open about it especially those with questions.

I will say though don't take what I say about MY conditions to mean the same for others who have it/ they because everyone deals with it different and has different experiences.

This is a bit of a list and I have gotten people in the past who said they don't believe someone can have this many mental conditions, but hey buddy, FUCK YOU.

Anyways,

here's the list:

ADHD( first diagnosed at 7 and then got it double checked at 16

BPD- Borderline Personality Disorder

Bipolar Disorder

ASPD- Antisocial Personality Disorder

GAD- Generalized Anxiety Disorder

My biggest ones that make everyday harder for me is my BPD, Bipolar, and ADHD.

This is information found online explaining each of the disorders, but I will say I hate how a lot of people especially those in psychology rather not deal with someone that has bi polar and borderline personality disorder because it's harder to deal with and each trigger, cycle and all that is difficult to identify or handle. And a lot of people depict us as "awful people"

when it was people like that that made us develop these disorders. Anyways, here's what "professionals" explain each as:

1. ADHD-

A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness.

ADHD often begins in childhood and can persist into adulthood. It may contribute to low self-esteem, troubled relationships, and difficulty at school or work. Symptoms include limited attention and hyperactivity

SYMPTOMS:

Behavioral: aggression, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, or persistent repetition of words or actions

Cognitive: absent-mindedness, difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, problem paying attention, or short attention span

Mood: anger, anxiety, boredom, excitement, or mood swings

2. Borderline Personality Disorder (wasn't diagnosed with it until 16)

A mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships.

The cause of borderline personality disorder isn't well understood. Diagnosis is made based on symptoms. Symptoms include emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships.

SYMPTOMS:

Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraint

Mood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadness

Psychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissism

3. Bipolar Disorder

A disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs.

The exact cause of bipolar disorder isn’t known, but a combination of genetics, environment, and altered brain structure and chemistry may play a role. Manic episodes may include symptoms such as high energy, reduced need for sleep, and loss of touch with reality. Depressive episodes may include symptoms such as low energy, low motivation, and loss of interest in daily activities. Mood episodes last days to months at a time and may also be associated with suicidal thoughts. Treatment is usually lifelong and often involves a combination of medications and psychotherapy.

Mood: mood swings, sadness, elevated mood, anger, anxiety, apathy, apprehension, euphoria, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, or loss of interest or pleasure in activities

Behavioral: irritability, risk taking behaviors, disorganized behavior, aggression, agitation, crying, excess desire for sex, hyperactivity, impulsivity, restlessness, or self-harm

Cognitive: unwanted thoughts, delusion, lack of concentration, racing thoughts, slowness in activity, or false belief of superiority

Psychologically: depression, manic episode, agitated depression, or paranoia

4. Antisocial Personality Disorder:

A mental health disorder characterized by disregard for other people.

Those with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) may begin to show symptoms in childhood, but the condition can't be diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively, and lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. Symptoms may lessen with age.

SYMPTOMS:

Behavioral: antisocial behavior, deceitfulness, hostility, irresponsibility, manipulativeness, risk taking behaviors, aggression, impulsivity, irritability, or lack of restraint

Mood: anger, boredom, or general discontent

and finally, 5. Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Severe, ongoing anxiety that interferes with daily activities.

Generalized anxiety disorder can occur at any age. The condition has symptoms similar to panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other types of anxiety.

SYMPTOMS:

Behavioral: hypervigilance, irritability, or restlessness

Cognitive: lack of concentration or unwanted thought

Psychological: severe anxiety or fear

In summary, don't also self diagnose yourself. I will say I blamed myself for everything until I did get diagnosed and then it all clicked. Unfortunately, I am not treated for anything above which makes it worse but feel free to ask questions if you're curious.

I'd love to talk about how it interferes or makes me feel,.etc.

[jazinerambles]

Persona 2 Innocent Sin Review

I wanted to have some time in between playing the game and writing my thoughts for Persona 2 Innocent Sin. I will be referencing it and other Persona games so there may be some light spoilers for games 2-5. 

I played the psp version of the game on a Playstation TV. I beat the game at 76 hours on the dot. I have not completed most of the theater missions, but I have completed the main story of the game and did do a few sidequests.

My review will be organized in several sections-gameplay, story, music, characters, LGBTQ representation, extra content, wishlist and recommendation.

Gameplay:

Persona 2 Innocent Sin was released in 1999. Therefore plays as a game from 1999. The PSP rerelease updated menus, changed the difficulty, and added all out attack art similar to P3-P5 for the fusion spells. I love the all out attack animation and although the menus got a little cumbersome, it didn’t really impact gameplay for me. 

The biggest complaint about Persona 2 IS is how easy and repetitive it is and the high encounter rate. The battles for the most part are easy and if you set up all your attacks in the first round, you can basically use autoplay until an emergency occurs or you encounter an enemy in which you must change it up. 

I never saw the gameplay as repetitive as others do and I feel those who do only just battle and that’s it. I was constantly trying to get all the fusion spells, max up my personas to trade them for items, try different combinations for the demon negotiations and spread demon rumors to get items, spells, and cards (you need cards to summon new personas in the velvet room.) Demon negotiations also allow you a better look into each of the characters’ personalities and relationships. Events in the game will change how the characters react in these negotiations so it is always nice to go back to them throughout the course of the game. 

The demons you encounter have emotions. I believe they are intrigued, happy, angry and fearsome. Make them happy and they will offer a pact with you and give you free stuff and willing to spread rumors for you. Make them angry they will fight you. Make them fear you they will run away. Make them intrigued and you get the cards needed to summon personas and even more if you already have a pact with them. 

I wanted to return to the big complaint though, the high encounter rate. This was something that I felt hot and cold about. Most of the time this didn’t bother me, because I needed to level up my personas anyway. But when I needed to backtrack and explore further, it did get a little bothersome. 

You can use estoma to avoid enemies weaker than you. It is not a passive skill, so once you have a persona that has it, you have to cast it every time it wears off. At the Mu casino, you can also purchase a disguise kit that does the same thing, but it effects last about the same amount of time and it is ridiculously expensive. Just use estoma. 

As briefly mentioned above, unlike Persona 5 in which you can just catch Personas, in P2IS there are only two ways to get them. You get cards from demon negations, take those cards to the velvet room and then trade them in for a Persona. But you have to enough cards to summon it and the persona has to be 5 cards within your character level. 

You can also talk to the demon painter, for him to make you cards for the specific arcana you want by using blank cards. These are also given through demon negotiations that you have a pact with. 

In P2, ALL your characters are capable of changing out Personas, but their compatibility with different personas varies with their Arcana. 

The other way to get personas is through the story. There are certain actions that you must take to get the prime personas and then the final personas. These personas are character specific and you can’t give them to other characters. 

I wanted to talk about three more things before I move on to the story: rumormongers, fusion spells, and dungeons. 

Persona 2IS is based around rumors. Just like P3 is for the dark hour, P4 the midnight channel, P5 around palaces and so on...

To get certain items and progress the story, you MUST gather and spread rumors. There are five characters throughout the game called rumormongers. They will give you information in exchange for receiving information. You then share this information to the detective agency, pay a fee for them to spread them for you, and there you go. rumor spread. As mentioned earlier, there are also demon specific rumors. 

Fusion spells were something I really enjoyed in this game. Although hearing “Are you ready? Here goes” and “Let’s go everybody” will be stuck in my head for the rest of eternity...

Basically, to create a fusion spell, members in your party require a requisite spell and then that party member is placed in a specific order when taking turns. Once that spell is unlocked, it will let you know if you have the requisite spells and you no longer have to adjust the order of party members. Some of the spells you need to unlock fusion spells are persona specific. The fusion spells are elemental. 

I will not go into weaknesses of elemental spells, I am just going to say that you aren’t “down”’ed like you are in 3-5. 

Finally, my first real pet peeve with this game-the dungeons.

Oh boy. Air raid, AeroSpace and one of the four Zodiac dungeons (I am pretty sure its Eikichi’s) gets ALL my hate. There are cheap gimmicks that make the game artificially hard but only for these dungeons and more so, frustrating. 

But I am not going to go into detail why, and the other dungeons are not bad at all. But play the game and experience these dungeons for yourself. That is all I am going to say about that.

Story:

This section will be nowhere was long as gameplay. The story did not go where I thought it would, but that’s a good thing. I would go in completely blind if you can. The ending definitely surprised me a bit. I think it has one of the best stories of the persona games.

It does not follow a calendar like the later Persona games and time just blends together. By the end of the game, you won't know if a day, week or month passed from the beginning to the end.

Music:

The music is actually really good. It is the reason why I played the game in the first place. Just don’t look at the soundtracks names. Spotify has it available if you live in the US. You are better off listening to the soundtrack because I promise you that most dungeons songs will be cut off due to the frequency of battles. 

Some of my favorite songs are Smile Hirasaka, Unbreakable Tie, Kurosu’s theme, Joker and the Taurus dungeon’s theme.

Characters:

Despite Persona 2 not having social links, I feel like I know these characters better than some of the persona games that do have social links. It is also the only Persona game that I can say without any hesitation that I like the entire main cast. 

I truly love them all, but my favorite would probably be Yukino or Maya. 

Unlike other Personas, the dynamics for Persona 2 IS are different, because not all of your party members are high school students. The adult characters have adult problems, the high school students have high school problems, and all of them have deep psychological problems and abandonment issues that will take years of intense therapy (or Philemeon) to forget.

One of the biggest themes of Persona 2 is confronting your past and learning from the mistakes of your childhood. And the characters do! And by the end of the game you are so proud of how far they have come. And then things happen...

LGBTQ representation

Let me say that I started P2IS off on the wrong foot, but I am still absolutely justified at being upset by it. One of the very first interactions you can have with a NPC is through a very uncomfortable exchange between you, Eikichi and a transman that is pretty transphobic. And to add the icing on the cake, Atlus refers to him as a “weird woman.” 

I was literally going to just stop playing the game like an hour in because of that, but I decided to continue.

What I discovered was a game that has highs and lows when it comes to LGBTQ representation. 

You can play as a bi character who can confess his feelings to men and women. *Stares hard at Persona 4 and Persona 5*

You have a gay character that has an interesting story, character development, is unabashedly gay and isn’t a walking stereotype. Nor is his entire arc centered around gay panic. 

From what I understand the dialogue from the NPC does get better, but I am not holding my breath. 

And the one sapphic kiss scene we get in a Persona game is a kiss of manipulation and not love. So that is a little sad. 

But overall, P2IS does try to make an effort. And it definitely makes a better effort than its successor released almost 2 decades later.

Extra content:

Again, Persona 2 doesn’t have social links or a calendar. Please don’t approach it like the other games where you have to fill up your time between dungeons. It is not a necessity, but there are things you can do. 

Mu is a casino that you can visit that allows you to play mini games to gain coins that you can use to get weapons, rare items, and even unlock personas. I spent a little too much time at Mu....

You can also talk to NPCs to do side missions. Be careful though. You have to do the side missions in a given amount of time or you may not get rewarded for it. Also P2IS is very much like Final Fantasy 9 where it is much better to go to a place sooner than later, because there may not be a later...

You also have the factory which is an optional dungeon that opens up more and more as you progress through the game. 

There is the theater which is a PSP exclusive which has side missions unrelated to the main story that you can play. They are okay.

Wishlist

I hear so many people wanting a remake of P2IS so the game can be more accessible. I am very torn about this. Besides the difficulty and maaybe tweaking the encounter rate a bit, I wouldn’t change a thing. However, I also know that I couldn’t enjoy Shadow of Colossus until the controls were updated. Like I tried and then just gave up. 

I honestly don’t want a remake. I don’t trust the Atlus of today with this game.

I do want it to be acknowledged and more accessible though. 

But if I had to make a wish list, this is what it would be. Again, this would be a “it would be nice list.”

Make the battles harder.

Update cut scenes? I really like the art for the cut scenes already, but would like some more. Maybe keep the drawings but update the CG?

Social side quests. I do not want social links in Persona 2. However, side quests that allow you to learn more about your character like a social link would, would be something I would be very interested in. 

Make the portraits consistent. The art from the original game and the new art put in the PSP game (I am talking about you climax lady) clash so much. Pick one style and stick to it.

I want to fight Ms. Ideal. Let me do it for reasons. Give me a chance to battle her.

I want the option to switch out characters. I love both Jun and Yukki, but I want to be able to play with both. 

Let me skip the animation when I create a new Persona. 

*EDIT*  I can’t believe I forgot this and feel awful I did, but I do think they should keep the trans NPC, but change the dialogue and the the name. It isn’t the NPC that is the problem but the dialogue and actions. Otherwise, I think it would be ok. 

I think that’s it.

Recommendation:

So should you play Persona 2 IS? Short answer, yes. Long answer is that it is complicated. In a few months the game will no longer be accessible for psp consoles. The physical version of the game is ridiculously expensive. You will have to accept the fact this game is on psp and its sequel’s psp version never came to English speaking markets.

You may not like the graphics, gameplay, or that it doesn’t feel like the later persona games. And as much as I love this game, that is alright. You do you. But I truly do think you are missing out on a great game. So if you have the opportunity to do so, yeah absolutely give it a shot. 

[thefanficmonster]

Could you write a headcanon (or something like that)... Corpse x NB reader?

I've been trying they/them pronouns and she/they pronouns and I want to read something like a non binary reader who is coming out as non binary and corpse, as a good 'boyfriend' supports and give love...

I can't talk to family and friends about it so I'm trying to find myself and find representation in other places... Idk hope you have a good week :)

Sure thing, darling! I'm so happy you are looking into what makes you happy and what pronouns you feel the most comfortable with! I hope you find someone you can talk to about this subject IRL, but I'm always here for you online! Sending a ton of love, support and appreciation and affection your way 💌😘

Here you go some headcanons! 😊

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Reader (Non-binary)

Warnings: None, just pure comfort fluff

Enjoy! ~ 💕

- You had been wondering what pronouns best suited you ever since you came across the concept

- You've been using certain pronouns all your life and never really felt fully comfortable with them

- They didn't bother you or anything, they were just never right and always felt out of place

- Experimenting with they/them pronouns has been the most true to yourself you've felt

- But along with that realization came the fear of how the people around you would react

- There wasn't a single doubt in your mind that your friends and boyfriend would support you but there was still this one annoying little fragment of doubt haunting you

- Your mind was flooded with 'what if's but never enough to cloud or shadow your happiness which came as a result of finally truly finding yourself

- The first person you wanted to come out to was the person who’s been your biggest support since you two met: your boyfriend Corpse

- Never had you been so sweaty and shaky on the drive to his apartment

- Once again, you knew he’d be nothing but supportive and loving but we humans just have a way of always discouraging ourselves

- Needless to say, you had him quite scared and confused when you showed up at his doorstep a trembling mess with a panicked fake smile plastered on your face

- Alarms started going off in his head immediately, bombarding you with tons and tons of questions on why you looked so worrisome

- “I-I need to tell you something...something really important”

- Well that had the complete opposite effect of what you had hoped

- It made him twice as nervous as his mind started racing with all the possibilities, scenarios and conversation patterns that could go down right then and there as you two sat down in the living room

- Despite his own panic, he gave you all the time you needed to collect and prepare yourself to start off with what you wanted to say

- “So, um, I....I’ve been struggling to find myself lately....I’ve been looking for what really suits me and...and I think I’ve finally found it. I-I mean I’m not completely sure but.....”

- “Hey, hey, slow down. I’m right here, it’s all ok, take your time. It’s just you and me and we’ve got all the time in the world. Don’t rush yourself.“ He took your hands in his, “Go on when you feel ready.“

- You felt genuinely touched by his words and his patience

- You knew that he’s willing to give you anything you want or need just to keep you happy

- And that’s what led you to stop beating around the bush

- “Corpse...I’m non-binary. I now use they and them pronouns. But don’t let that ch-”

- You weren’t given a chance to finish

- Within the blink of an eye, his hands had let go of yours and his arms had wrapped around you, enveloping you in a tight loving embrace

- “I’m happy you’ve found yourself, Y/N. I’m so glad you are becoming more comfortable with yourself.”

- Hearing that brought you to the verge of tears

- Biting your lip you tightened your own hold on him

- “Thank you for being the best boyfriend ever”

- “No...” he pulled away slightly so he’d be able to look you in the eyes, “Thank you for being the best partner ever, Y/N.”

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[aropippin]

hello this is a long post, sorry. don’t feel like you need to read it.

this may be incoherent, it’s kind of a mind dump and to be honest i’m a little tipsy writing it. this is probably a little tmi and no one is asking for this explanation but it’s something that’s been lingering in my mind for a while. also i talk about things through the lens of summer vs. fall vs. spring because i was in college for most of this and that’s how our semesters worked (and how i categorize time).

i feel a little bit of an elephant in the room since returning to tumblr (now more than ever since i’m online more frequently than i have been for a couple of years) when i talk about certain things in my life and particularly my boyfriend. 

the last time i was really active was over three years ago. at that time i was still 100% identifying as aromantic and asexual (i’ll say aroace from here on out), it was something that was very important to my identity. i very actively talked about it on here and it was an active part of who i was. i very genuinely did not have any interest in dating and experienced pretty much no attraction to people outside of aesthetic (and a lot of that went hand in hand with my dysphoria, i saw other men and wanted to look like them). at this point i was sex repulsed and honestly pretty romance repulsed as well. 

i’d be identifying as aroace for at least four or five years after breaking up with my high school boyfriend (put a pin in that thought). i was very stable in that identity including through questioning my gender identity and that first few months of me knowing i was trans.spring of 2017 was interesting because i developed a crush for the first time since i was  freshman in high school (so it had been like five years). i won’t go super into it, but for the first time i was interesting in pursuing a relationship. it was something i thought about a lot and i liked him a lot. in the end, it kind of fizzled out after a couple of months but we’re putting a pin in this too. 

after it ended i didn’t think about it too much. this was the point that i publicly started transitioning. when we came back around fall of that year, i noticed a shift. i wasn’t really attracted to anyone nor did i really want to date but i was jealous of my very close friend. this was maybe seven months into her relationship at the time and i was jealous of her boyfriend because we had spent so much time together the previous year but it felt like i was barely seeing her. i thought i might have had a crush on her and even told a few close friends that i thought i did but to this day i’m not really sure. i had similar feelings growing up (middle/high school) with my close female friends. i think i really was looking for attention, not in a negative way but just in general; i saw that other people had people looking at them and liking them and i wanted it too. and to be fair, i got a little bit of attention at parties from girls it was super affirming to me and felt great.

at this point i felt like i couldn’t really identify as aromantic anymore but i still felt very asexual; the lines were very blurry but that’s kind of where we were at. well late next spring me and the guy who didn’t work out last time agreed to actually try and date. to be honest, it was a hit or miss experience; he just wasn’t really int he place to date but we wanted to give it a try. the biggest takeaways were that it was barely romantic and 0% sexual but it was a relationship and 100x healthier than the last one i was in. in the end, we just decided that it wasn’t working and we’d be better as friends. i ended it and didn’t expect to be in any other relationship any time soon. i was wrong.

within like a month of breaking up with that guy, i met my current boyfriend whose name is josh. we met fall of 2018 at band. we talked a couple of times at camp but it wasn’t a big thing and then at our second party, he got crossed and i spent a lot of time taking care of him (and he spent a lot of time soft flirting with me). i had been a little fixated on him during camp, which is generally how my feelings towards people (platonic or romantic) had manifested in the past but it wasn’t a Thing until he started texting me afterward. i had such a strong response.

it was a interesting time that i won’t go super in depth with, but he wasn’t out at the time and i wasn’t sure he was into guys. i quickly found out that he was and that he was into me. and i ended up being into him. it was a very strange experience for me. i had dated two guys before but both of those were slow burns, we were friends and hung out and then months later started to date. but with josh i had met him and within about a month we were dating. it was messier and more complex than i’m getting into but it happened. and i was more than okay with it, i was happy. pretty early in i sat him down and told him how sex repulsed and that i had some traumatic dating experiences in the past and he was very open and supportive of however this needed to go.

but like, not to be tmi but within a month of dating we had sex (both for the first time) and while it wasn’t great to begin with, it wasn’t the traumatic experience that i thought it would be. and it generally only improved over time. i got much more open about it and we figured stuff out together.

okay, so here’s the pinned thought. in high school i dated a guy for two years. at this point i was not aware that i was trans so this was a “straight” relationship. he was terrible to me for a lot of it. to be fair, i was dealing with a lot of dysphoria that i couldn’t place however he was pretty constantly pushing my boundaries on what i felt comfortable with physically. he would either freeze me out or just get upset if i didn’t want to do things he wanted to do and would even do this while i was having a panic attack and couldn’t function out of fear. he and his friends made fun of me and called me frigid and a prude and said that our relationship was meaningless because we didn’t do enough physically/sexually. i left this relationship pretty fucked up and that’s without taking the dysphoria i was dealing with into account. he continued to be emotionally abusive to me for years after that.

and if i’m being honest, i think a lot of that played into my feelings and identifying as aroace. i think the majority of it was because of my traumatic experiences but my dysphoria played into it too. and honestly i hate that. i feel like i betrayed all of the people that i used to talk about it with when i stopped identifying that way, but it got to the point where it wasn’t something productive in my life anymore. 

if i were to psychoanalyze myself and go into micro-identities, i’d say i probably still exist on both the ace and aro spectrums. i really have such limited physical attraction to other people and i really don’t know that i could identify it really as sexual attraction. and even romantically, i still think that i probably experience some level of being aro but i don’t think either term serves me anymore. they used to be important, they made me feel safe and understood which i desperately needed, but now they don’t.

i don’t define my sexuality in any strong terms. i’m queer. i say i’m bi for the functionality of it, but in the end i’m just not straight. i’m into people, gender doesn’t play a big part in it, and that’s just kind of where i’m at. i know this was long and convoluted, but some part of me felt that it was important to talk about the shift i’ve felt over the last few years. i feel guilty because aro and/or ace people often times are faced with people saying, “oh you’ll grow out of it” and i feel bad for playing into this narrative but it’s where i’m at. especially after transitioning, defining my sexuality became a lot less important to me because i was more comfortable with myself.

anyway, mostly unrelated but i am not changing my url (i have a brand to maintain) lol and pls like this if you read to this point

[aizenat]

Regarding claims that asexuals weren't around, I have read old documents from well before AVEN was made discussing how the community viewed asexuals as a flavor of bisexuals since both groups feel equally attracted to all genders. The difference of that equal attraction to all genders being zero for for asexuals was a later distinction. Just because the labels weren't made yet doesn't mean asexuals popped into existence when AVEN was made! (This is similar to how the lines between the lesbian and bi women communities used to be a lot fuzzier back then, with both gay and bi women being labeled under the lesbian umbrella. Labels have changed over time.)

It is indeed different from BDSM because BDSM is a fetish about how people like to perform sex and is not directly related to attraction, marriage, and other orientation-relevant topics. Your comparison makes it seem you misunderstand asexuality as a function of sexual performance rather than orientational attraction. Which is wrong. It is 100% about attraction! Within the label of asexual, people still fall on a spectrum of liking sex to not liking sex independent of their asexual lack of attraction to any gender. It is not abstinence it is not preferences in bed, it is purely the lack of ability to be attracted to others. You may have defined LGBT+ as only "same sex attraction" but plenty others in the community--dare I say the majority of the community defines it as simply not being straight and/or cis.

Asexuals get medically mistreated in similar ways to gay and trans people through attempts at conversion. Asexuals get bullied, abused, correctively raped, etc by violent homophobes for all the same reasons too. Asexuals do not perform attraction and romance to the satisfaction of homophobes. Asexuals need community for the same reasons you do. They need similar protections from discrimination against orientation. This push to exclude asexuals is a rather recent trend that helps nobody, only serves to divide a community of vulnerable people that is strongest when united.

You’re a fucking liar, and disgusting and I hope you know that. 

You don’t get to retroactively tell people how they identified. You’ve “read old documents from well before AVEN was made discussing how the community viewed asexuals as a flavor of bisexuals since both groups feel equally attracted to all genders?” Liar. You mean you’ve read RECENT articles of people analyzing texts describing bisexual people and reading that as “asexual” even though that’s not how those people identified. 

You want to know how I know you don’t know SHIT about gay history? “This is similar to how the lines between the lesbian and bi women communities used to be a lot fuzzier back then, with both gay and bi women being labeled under the lesbian umbrella.” That never happened! Lesbian/gay women identified as such, and bi women identified as bi! Back then, bi woman said they were bi with their whole chests! They didn’t go around calling themselves lesbians! They do that now! Like what the fuck revisionist bullshit are you on about? Fuck off. 

Asexuality is not a sexual orientation because by your own definition, asexuals do not feel sexual attraction. What kinda nonsense? And there is no way for an asexual to “like” sex or whatever nonsense. You guys just made that up because in our hypersexual world, you don’t know the difference between someone with a low (or, hell, a healthy) libido and an actual asexual person. 

And shame on you, and there is a special place in HELL for you, for bringing up violent homophobia and conversion therapy and corrective rapes. Are people going around writing laws forcing you to have to have sex with someone? If you ever wanted to adopt, would the agency disqualify you for being asexual? 

The medical ish is real, and obviously traumatic, but to pretend that’s on the same level as conversion therapy (seriously, a deep, dark, HOT place in hell for you for that!), is deplorable! You have obviously never been to one, been threatened to be sent to one, or even spoken with someone who went through conversion therapy to pull that out of your ass. 

This is the reason why people don’t like you idiots. You take what could be valid critiques of our society’s views towards sex (hypersexuality, medicalization of low libidos, conservative expectations of relationship dynamics that treat people as broken for not wanting or enjoying sex) and morph them into fallacies, half truths, and false equivalences. You’re literally taking the experiences of other groups of people, and trying to say they happen to the same degree, and from the same place, as what asexuals face when that is just NOT true based on reality. 

You could grow up to be an adult, quietly never get married or date, and live your entire life without having sex and no one will kill you for it. Homophobes don’t care that you’re not fucking other people. They don’t care enough to use gay panic as a defense to murder you, they don’t care enough to ban you from marrying, you weren’t ignored during the AIDS crisis, you wouldn’t have to hide the fact that you don’t have sex from colleagues for fear of getting fired from your job for it, you don’t have to worry about being sent to camps to be electrocuted or sent to mental institutions or religious conversion therapy camps. Not now, not 20 years ago, not 50 years ago, not EVER. 

You can play the “we’ve always been there” game because there have always been people who probably would ID as asexual today, but the vast majority of those people got married, had kids, and that is more due to the fundamentalist religious nature of western society, especially in America, than it would be due to homophobia. Completely intellectually dishonest. 

Don’t fucking send me any more fucking shit, and if you do, come off anon so I can block you. In fact, I’ll make it easy and turn it off so you don’t hit that button by mistake. 

I have seen and experienced first hand real life traumatic homophobia, so don’t ever in your life try to come at me with that shit. I spent years thinking *I* was asexual because I was repressing my sexuality.

And that’s the biggest issue I have you with weirdos. Talking about “you can like sex and have sex and be asexual” nonsense. I see so many kids coming up that are taking LONGER to realize they’re gay/same sex attracted because they don’t relate to the hypsersexual, porn-obsessed way sex is portrayed. And they hear THIS nonsense and think “oh, I’m asexual.” Then they grow up, get interested in sex, and have literal mental breakdowns over their identities because they made not wanting to fuck their hogwarts house badge. 

We’re not talking about grown adults who have gone through numerous experiences coming to an understanding of their sexualities. It’s a bunch of kids who don’t realize that it’s normal to not experience overt and raunchy sexual attraction, that only wanting to sleep with someone you’re in a relationship with is literally normal, and who aren’t even old enough to legally rent a car trying to tell grown adults about their lived experiences. 

Fuck off mate. Just fuck off. You’re an idiot, and if you think you’re going to convince me of your side, you’re not.

And you really want to know how you’re not LGBT. Because with all the alphabet soup terms that have come up to describe bisexuality 40392092039220 times in recent years, gay people have (for the most part) not said that these people aren’t same sex attracted. Because, despite how unnecessary, they are same sex attracted. But you lot are the ones actual homosexuals and bi people are like “nah, you lot are weird. We don’t know you.” And there’s a reason. Because this response, aside from being intellectually dishonest, historically inaccurate, and filled with logical fallacies and bad-faith arguments, was at it’s very core WEIRD. 

You’re weird. Now sod off. 

[pokemon-trainer-disaster]

Ooooo remember when i said Hannah gives bi vibes? More Hannah stuff now. Shes bi AND i’m pretty sure this might just be canon, SHE HAS PANIC ATTACKS. Ep 11, season 101. Just Add Camping, 9:50 is the time stamp. She starts having an anxiety attack when the Off The Trail Mix makes her leave her pack, which is her biggest fear. The subtitles have “heavy breathing” and she says “i can’t catch my breath- i need an inhaler.” To which Kelly responds “you don’t have asthma.” You know what else makes you unable to catch your breath? Especially if you’re facing one of your worst fears? Anxiety.

[combat-wombatus]

uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

or

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p 

[imlostinsantacarla]

How Jacob will react if he will realise his loved Renemonster was bisexual?

heya hun, thanks so much for requesting this! again, i wouldn’t have been able to put this out without the help of my beta reader: @roslaeahle​ she helped me with a lot of grammar stuff and also helped me with fixing and adding a lot of good lines in, so this piece wouldn’t be like this without her wonderful help! - admin kat 🌙❣

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How Jacob reacts to Renesme being Bisexual:

- First and foremost, I have the need to fix the mess that smeyer created and I’m declaring from the beginning that Jacob Black is like Renesme’s older brother/protector and she’s actually going to be an established teenager/adult when she starts dating other people and comes out to Jacob because I’m not writing anything different.

- I think that half of Jake already knew that she was bisexual, but there’s another half of him that’s just so surprised because of how casually she comes out to him.

- Like they’re sitting in the woods one morning and she just spits it out. He turns his head in her direction so fast it almost pops off, and she’s already looking at him with the most candid panic and fear in her eyes because his opinion and acceptance means the most to her.

- The fact that there’s even an inkling of a chance that he could reject her crushes her heart in ways that no one else would ever understand. His acceptance will make or break her, more than her own parents opinions ever could.

- The look on Renesmee’s face mixed with her crying and shaking like a total mess crumples his heart so ferociously he’s already squashed her into a bear hug.

- He’s smoothing out her hair and just muttering how he’s so proud of her and he’s so honored that she was comfortable enough in telling him and including him in this part of her life.

- Because Jacob’s the purest ball of sunshine and love is love, and he doesn’t care if Renesmee is attracted to boys or girls or both because that’s a part of her and he can’t ever picture himself rejecting her over such a silly, inconsequential thing.

- And we all know that mama bear Bella would kick his ass to hell and back if he didn’t accept her baby girl.

- There’s just no way in hell that Jake’s going to view Renesmee (someone he thinks of as his little sister) any different just because of who she loves. She is literally his best friend and he wants her to be happy and treated with the utmost respect, and he’s damn well gonna make sure that she’s a happy chick, you know?

- But we all know that Eggwart and Alice totally spilled the beans to the rest of the family because those two can’t keep a secret when it comes to our playful little spawn of Bella.

- It doesn’t stop him from returning to the Cullen’s crying his eyes out. Edward is snickering his head off and Bella is left to try and calm down her best pal.

- “Why are you crying? You already knew.” Bella would hum, rubbing his trunk-like arms.

- “I-I kn-know-w-w,” he’d hiccup. Bella’s melting because this is the Jake she wants to be a part of her daughter’s life.

- Every year when it comes to the anniversary of Renesme’s Coming Out Day, Emmett, Bella and Alice, a long with Jasper  (The Sibling Crackhead Trio featuring Yeehaw Hale) spend the whole day reenacting Jacob crying his eyes out like the big ball of mush he is.  As the years go on, Jacob considers ripping them limbg from limb every time the family erupts in laughter at his expense.

- But back to the point…

- Afterwards, Jacob somehow becomes even more protective of Renesmee because he just knows the cruelty and lack of acceptance the world can dish out but like…

- “Jacob, Renesme can literally snap four semi-trucks and yeet them to Mars in two seconds tops… so homophobes? They aren’t gonna stand a chance against our demon baby.” Emmett would state nonchalantly.

- “tHAtS MY DAUGHTER YOU FU-” Bella would scream.

- Not gonna lie, he’s going to panic a lot because Nessy is like his little sister and just like Edgeward, he doesn’t think anyone is good enough to even breathe the same air as her.

- Low key will point at every person around her age and ask if she thinks they’re hot or not. She dies every damn time he does it because Emmett joins in, which makes Jasper and Alice join in… Before you know it, it’s become a family affair and Renesme is dying of mortifying embarrassment every time they go out.

- You bet that Jacob crashes her dates when she begins dating. Edward doesn’t even have time to pay him for it, because he’s running after her once she leaves.

- Jacob ends up learning the hard way (because Bella, Rosalie and Leah all handed him a fresh hot can of whoop ass) that he needs to let her breathe and explore her sexuality and just date?

- And it’s so hard for him just because he doesn’t want her heart broken but unfortunately that’s kinda how you learn in life.

- Besides, Resume is tight as shit. You think Bella would raise a wimp? She not only has a mother who was born to be a vampire but an uncle called Emmett who yeets boulders for a damn living? You’d think Jake would get the message already.

- Jacob totally buys Renesmee her first bi pride flag and she’s sobbing because it’s her actual eighteenth birthday and she can’t believe he did this for her.

- Now it’s Jake’s turn to calm her down.

- He takes her to her first pride parade and he’s so overwhelmed with happiness because she’s making new friends and has this whole community that is so open and loving.

- please i’m actually sobbing now.

- He’s going to seem intimidating when Renesmee brings her boyfriend or girlfriend to meet the family.

- “I swear to God, if you break her heart I’ll make sure you have nightmares for the rest of your damn life.” Jacob would spit lowly, only for Esme to jab him in the ribs.

- And he’s there for her during her first break up, hugging her and wiping away her tears. He will always be there for her, picking up the pieces and helping her get back together. He fuels her with more strength and assures her the right person is out there.

- I think Jacob’s definitely gonna step in when Alice wants to set Renesmee up on dates and Edward’s literally gonna have a nervous breakdown because you remember the last time Alice had a fun idea? Bella got smooshed.

- But I seriously see Renesmee ending up with a girl, and it doesn’t surprise Jacob in the slightest.

- He ends up being the best man at the wedding and he’s crying again and you bet that Emmett, Bella and Alice (featuring Jasper Yeehaw Hale) are crying in laughter imitating him.

- But it’s a happy moment because Charlie is there, and Renee, the Denali’s, everyone who stood as a witness beside her and her family when she was younger… just the whole family.

- It’s a messy journey but honestly? Jacob is the biggest ray of sunshine the whole time even when he oversteps his mark, he always corrects himself and does the best he can for his Nessie.

- And that’s that on that.

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again, crediting my beta reader: @roslaeahle 💕

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