#i expected nothing less from stray kids amazing producer<3

[berrypiie]

i am crying

his smile kinda looks like a heart!!!

[christmasgeek2010]

My Girl; Bang Chan One-Shot

Genre: Angst

Synopsis: You start to drown in your college work, and as a result, question your credibility and worth. Luckily, your boyfriend comes home just in time to catch you as you fall and remind you of who you are and what you’re worth.

Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts, mentions of nudity, established relationship.

A/N: Hello! This is my first work published here, and I’ve debated posting this for a few months, but figured if it gets no traction at least I had the balls to post it. If you have any feedback or want me to write something for you, don’t hesitate to send in an ask, or comment, or even DM me! I hope you enjoy!

~

You had always loved your balcony. Your french door balcony was your release. It was your relief from the world’s problems and your escape from any stress or tension you ever had. You had come onto this balcony when you had fights with your parents or friends, when you needed relaxation when doing homework, when you had a bad day at college or work, or when you found yourself longing for your boyfriend, Chan.

Chan. Christopher Bang. God, you loved Chan. He had asked you out in sophomore year of high school after you two met in middle school, and you two had been a team ever since. You two had the same friend group, watching as people came and went and cried and laughed together for almost ten years now. You two had gone to great lengths for each other, never giving up on each other or your relationship. You never knew how you got lucky to be able to know the man for almost a decade, let alone call him yours for a little over half that time. And he felt the exact same way about you. You were his world, his light, his muse. He admired how you carried yourself, always holding your head high and looking for the positives in any given situation. You always found something good to say, about anyone or anything. Even the most despised teachers on your college campus had been spoken about in a light manner from you. It was incredible how you could do something so easily that not many people can do with ease like you do. Yet, he didn’t see you breaking. 

You hid your bad days from Chan. You trusted him with everything you had in you, but he was the leader of an 8 man group that was currently on a steady incline in fame. His group, Stray Kids, was constantly releasing content, let alone music, and he had a hand in producing almost all of it. Plus, you can’t forget about all the variety shows the group does, the interviews, the music show performances, and not to mention his weekly Vlive show “Chan’s Room” he does on Sundays for Stays that last almost 2 hours sometimes. You went with them every chance you got, as you two were public for a while. JYP himself had come to accept the relationship. Mainly because he saw how much talent and potential Chan had, but he refused to break up with you for his career. You three compromised, and every day after college you go to JYP entertainment and help around as much as possible as your end of the deal. JYP told you a few years ago it was no longer necessary, but you insisted. You knew how much of a risk he took letting Chan date you through his trainee days into debut, and you felt like you owed the man a lot, even if he overworked your boyfriend and his group. You also went in because you got to see the boys often. You had grown a huge soft spot for them all, especially Jisung and Jeongin. 

Your dedication to your end of the deal, however, is the reason you’re on your balcony at 1:48am in the freezing rain. JYP told you to take a few weeks off to focus on your studies as he was sure you were falling behind, and falling behind you were. You had a massive stack of work that was overdue, and another of stuff that’s due soon. You had always been good at your studies and well advanced in education, but even this was overwhelming for you. It’s not like it was hard, it was all rather easily. However, even looking at the stack of work piling into both your laptop and at your desk made you uneasy and lightheaded. You had already eliminated half of the stack within the last 3 days, but it was so much. You wanted to hide from the world and shut it all out, run away from it all. The demons in your head constantly were at war. Convincing you that you weren’t worth Chan or your scholarships, that you weren’t worth the risk taken on you by JYP, that you weren’t worth being so close to such kind and selfless souls as Stray Kids. That you were a failure. That you should’ve been kicked to the curb by your lover long ago and he should be with someone far more better than you. It didn’t help that your boyfriend hadn’t been around for a day or two, having to spend more time than usual on producing for the group and making sure choreography was being made for the comeback that would be announced in a few months.

You leaned against your balcony’s railing, your hair sticking to your face as the flannel, Chan’s flannel, was sticking to your small frame along with the rest of your clothes. You didn’t hear the front door to your apartment open, didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the hallway, didn’t hear the voice calling out for you, didn’t hear the bedroom door open, didn’t realize you had tears cascading down your face until you felt a warm and slightly calloused hand brush against your cheek, wiping away one of many droplets, rain or tear, before two arms wrapped around your body, immediately filling you with a sense of safety, warmth, and peace of mind.

“Why are you out here in the pouring rain, baby, and how long have you even been out here? Your clothes are completely soaked through. Talk to me, my girl.” The second name made you crack a small hint of a smile. You always loved when Chan called you his girl, it reminded you that he was your home, and that you were the luckiest woman in the world. You sniffled, only realizing you had been crying for a while when your nose was stuffed from crying, placing one of your hands gently on Chan’s arms and rubbing soft circles on the skin with your thumb.

“College has just been rough, Channie. That’s all it is. I have it handled.”

“You clearly don’t if you're in the freezing rain unconsciously crying, my love.” Chan tugged you inside, ever so grateful that your bedroom was carpeted as you two walked in soaked. He asked you to go into the bathroom and get undressed for a warm shower, grabbing a pair of panties and one of his shirts for you since he knew how much you loved wearing his clothes when you were upset. You did as he asked, knowing he was tired from work. He walked in and undressed with you, turning on the shower and getting the water to a desirable heat before helping you in, getting in behind you as he grabbed the shampoo and started scrubbing your hair gently. 

“Seriously, Y/N, what’s wrong? You know I won’t judge you, whatever it is.” You sighed and rubbed your arms, still warming up from the cold outside. 

“I’m overwhelmed with college. I’m way more behind in work than I realized, and even though I got through so much work while you were gone, it’s still so much, and that’s without what’s not past due. Looking at all of it makes me feel uneasy, like I’m a failure for having that much backwork. I don’t feel like I deserve you because of it. You work so incredibly hard, for the boys and for us, and here I am struggling to get my shit together like a responsible adult before graduating college this year.” Chan couldn’t help but frown as you told him your honest feelings. He was grateful that you didn’t hide stuff from him often, especially when it got really bad, but he also felt his heart ache at your pain. You were his best friend, his girlfriend, his partner in crime, and dare he say his soulmate, and he had seen you basically grow up. You were his other half. You both had similar work ethics and similar viewpoints in life, which meant you both tore yourselves down when you didn’t succeed how you wanted, and sometimes you both forgot that the other would never love you any less for not jumping over a hurdle with ease. 

“My girl, your struggles will never make me love you any less. You’ve always been my number one supporter, and I will always be yours. Your struggles are what make you human, and what make you who you are. And I love who you are. I still can’t fathom how I’m able to call someone who’s as understanding and patient as you. Anyone else would’ve left as soon as I started working the way I do, but you stayed. You stayed because you know that this is my dream, and you’re willing to live my dream with me. I couldn’t be more proud of how hard you work. You’re a full time college student, work part time at the company doing basically everything, you help me care for the boys, and tend to me when I’ve had a bad day at work or get stressed from being unable to finish songs. You’re truly amazing, and I couldn’t ask for a better person to call mine than you. The boys love you, and I love you a million times over. I could never be ashamed of you, or disappointed in a little bump in the road. You’ll always be my everything, understand?” Chan rinses your hair before turning you around. Hot tears start streaming down your face again, this time mixing with the warm shower instead of the rain. You gently wrap your arms around your sweet boyfriend, squeezing his torso as he can’t help but smile and hold you against him. His fingers comb through your hair gently, knowing that’s your best relaxing tactic. Your breath is shaky as you look up at him, nothing but appreciation and love in your eyes.

“I love you, Chan. I’m so lucky that you’re a part of my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words how much you mean to me and how much you’ve influenced me over the years.” Chan’s smile only grows at your words, knowing that you’re going to be okay. Chan’s been your rock for what feels like a lifetime. He’s not perfect, and neither are you. Neither of you expect the other to be perfect. The two of you have always only asked for the other to try, and try you do. You both steady each other, make each other whole. Any one else would see your position, bare bodies embracing the other as a promiscuous moment, but to you two, it’s another moment in your relationship that makes you realize how much you love the other. There will be more, much more for you two to face, but that’s for another day. A day that will end with the both of you hand in hand ready to face whatever the world throws at you once more. A day that will only make Chan more certain that he wants to marry you, have kids with you, and grow old with you. That he wants you by his side when his group makes it even bigger worldwide, when they eventually disband, when he retires from the entertainment industry, when he only writes songs for you as gifts. When he releases his first love song inspired solely by you, when his best friends get married, when his parents are no longer a part of this world. He wants you, only you, forever you.

“I love you too, my girl. I’ll always be the luckiest man in the world, as long as I have you by my side.”

[whenboredatnight]

Things To Do When Bored At Night

 Need some quality musings for stimulation exercises to no end (or disgraceful) on a Saturday night? You don't by and large need to go out drinking with your friends at a bar or dispose of everyone and stay in light of the way that you don't have money. We'll exhibit to you some fun exercises to no end or for scarcely anything. You may even win some money.

I for the most part state, "basic breeds imaginativeness," so you just need to get inventive. As opposed to considering considerations isolated, I've collected this once-over of things you can enhance the circumstance free any week's end you require. The primary concern left to consider will understand what to do.

#1 Tabletop amusement Night

Host a month to month or step by step tabletop diversion night. It is the perfect purpose behind a laid-back night with two or three your most cherished peeps. Get a couple of goodies and demand that your sidekicks bring some alcohol. Viola, you got yourself a funfilled night of pleasant test and laughs.

Two or three our most adored framework preoccupations are Small World, Settlers of Catan and Pandemic. In case you are scanning for something fairly progressively glad and fascinating try Exploding Kittens, Disturbed Friends or The Voting Game. A direct round of Poker fills in also. With the right redirections, and people it will be your new most adored action on Saturday night.

#2 Night Hike/Bike

Get out your bike, or put on your sneakers, and go the hellfire outside. Visit your neighborhood, get out through the protected bit of some adjacent woods. Perhaps find a lit pathway at an area park. Watch the sunset. Be bound together with nature! In any case, remember, security first youngsters. Wise mechanical assembly and tops if your riding in lack of definition.

Check neighborhood destinations to check whether there are any social event evening time rides in your general region like this Moonlight Bike Ride in Central Park NYC. Regardless, review, security first kids. Insightful mechanical assembly and tops if your riding in lack of definition.

#3 Benefit

Too broke to even consider evening consider going out? Sounds like you need to benefit. Make an effort not to stretch, you won't have to leave your parlor seat. Audit Junkie pays you to give your feeling on brands so they can pass on better things and organizations. Your colleagues aren't going. It just takes two or three minutes to produce your profile they will start organizing you to outlines. Complete the surveys to secure virtual centers that can be recovered for PayPal or e-Giftcards.

Start putting aside additional money so you can go out one end of the week from now with Earny. For no good reason, stores owe you money always yet they don't pay if you don't ask. That is the place Earny comes in – they robotize everything. Esteem drop? Get cash back for the qualification. Movements arrive later than advanced? Get cash back. Effort required? Zero, precisely how we like it.

#4 Complete a Brewery or Vineyard Tour

Visiting refineries is a standout amongst my most adored exercises, and I scan for ones that give you free ale toward the end. Regardless, I encounter extensive troubles not buying more ale after the visit. So I would prescribe visiting two or three packaging works or wineries in a lone Saturday night.

#5 Geocaching

Geocaching is an exceptional redirection that you play with your phone. Simply go to the site, make a record, and start chasing down a store near your territory. Players cover treasures wherever all through the world for others to find, and it will take you puts you've never been. It's a ton like a scrounger pursue that you can play at whatever point you're hunting down something intriguing to do.

#6 Increase some new helpful information

There are unending such a noteworthy number of ways to deal with increase some new valuable learning. Computerized accounts are an amazing and incredibly fun way to deal with educate your self on new subjects and they are open to you to no end. Into science and culture? Take a gander at Radio Lab or This American Life. Need to finally get your records in line? Listen Money Matters is, clearly, our most adored anyway we esteem Marketplace too. History buffs, you should check out Hardcore History with Dan Carlin.

Scanning for something fairly progressively included? Skillshare is a web learning system with in excess of seventeen thousand classes from culinary to HTML courses. Conceivably you can finally up your Street Photography entertainment or get comfortable with the stray pieces of hand lettering. When you go along with you get a free month of vast classes which is a genuinely sweet game plan. You'll have the accompanying four Saturday nighttimes anchored.

#7 Volunteer

Advantage a couple, for what reason don't cha? Volunteering may not appear much fun, but instead it's free, it's something to do, and can finish up being very fun when you meet new people. You can pass on a friend to make it extensively continuously fun, and you'll such as yourself.

Not certain where to volunteer? See Volunteer Match to find volunteer information and postings in your adjacent system. With a quick google look for, you can find neighborhood soup kitchens, youths coaching workplaces and religious affiliations hunting down help.

#8 Young women (or Boys) Night In

This is my go-to. Young women or people night in are without a doubt the best time nighttimes. Find a friend who needs to stay in on a Saturday night and oblige them. Bring some sustenance and drinks over. Bring a film or long distance race watch a show. As a matter of fact, you're not staying in when you're out at a mates house. I do this all when I'm wanting to hang out and not spend any money. Amazingly a standout amongst my most cherished exercises on a Saturday night with allies.

#9 Check Your Community Calendar

The vast majority bunch have a date-book of events that you can check for what to do on a Saturday night. In our town, there are for each situation free or humble events going on around town. Check your town's webpage or seek after close-by bloggers by means of electronic systems administration media to be all great on whats going on close you – music events, awesome openings, street fairs, agriculturists markets, parody shows up.

#10 Visit a Free Museum or Zoo

The Smithsonian in Washington D.C. is free, just like various displays. Likewise, I couldn't mind less what you may think, yet displays are a radiant strategy to spend a Saturday. Encourage yourself and put aside some money rather than sitting on your affection situate seeing — god block — Duck Dynasty or something.

#11 Go Play a Sport

Do you understand that it is so normal to rouse a social event of people together to play Saturday night football? Genuinely, I'm asking, I do not understand. I figured it was in light of the fact that they did it in the film Invincible with Mark Wahlberg. I'm not a noteworthy recreations fan, but instead I bet if you expected to play an amusement amid the night, you could persuade a couple of individuals to join. Endeavor Basketball (I call it Night Court), football, tennis, hockey, or baseball.

#12 Have an Outdoor Film Festival

Pull your dimension screen TV out back or use a projector and watch films outside. My neighbor put a dimension screen by his hot tub and he sits before the TV out there always. Do get inventive here – hurl a subject night or set up a retro café. Young people in the 1960's used to pay a lot to serve seeing a film under the stars on a Saturday night.

#13 Go to a Local or National Park

I venerate parks. There's wide open spaces, trails, tennis courts, water fountains, structures, and play zones… a significant ish open park is really stacked up with exercises on a Saturday night. Bring a barbecue, a deck of cards and value the outside.

Parks are in like manner remarkable for individuals seeing. People watching sounds loathsome, anyway it will in general be a wreck of fun. Park yourself some place with a sidekick or two and essentially watch the world as it travels by.

#14 Go to an Art Gallery Opening

If you have to drink and not consume money, go get a workmanship show — they generally serve free wine! Outright least, you could no doubt deal with some free cheddar. Likewise, the workmanship could be cool too. Nothing d clears your mind and lifts your creativity like visiting workmanship shows.

#15 Night times Are Made for Star Gazing

As a gigantic nerd, I could look toward the sky and get authentic some place down in dialog about our universe with essentially any person who may listen to me. My dad is shockingly increasingly awful. Likewise, you needn't waste time with an unrestrained telescope to discover the sky.

Sky View is a hand-held planetarium for your phone. Basically point your phone at the sky to perceive stars, brilliant bodies, planets, and satellites. I use it always and it's a gigantic measure of fun.

#16 Hang At A Book Store

On the off chance that you're contemplating what to do on a Saturday night alone, I'll you what I do when I'm extremely tired and flying solo, I'll go to a Barnes and Noble immediately. I by and large bring my PC and demand a coffee, anyway there have been events I've gone, found an agreeable seat and read either magazines or two or three books. Best thing ever!

#17 Make a Backyard Bonfire

As a past scout, I have a significant love for blazes. I could develop a fire and parlor around it for an impressive time allotment essentially looking at it without a thought entering my contemplations. All you require is an open space a long way from trees, several squares to make a fire ring, and wood. Impact! Make some smores, drink a couple of ales and sing kumbaya. Maybe describe several spirit stories.

Present day Scavenger Hunt

Gather your allies, make a once-over of strange things to find all through your zone, set