#i even started writing a tom x reader fic but i guess ill never finish it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kattwritesuwu · 3 years ago

Note

Can I request a Clingy!monsterTom x Depressed!Reader? Maybe with cutting and suicidal thoughts?

I sure can!!! I LOVE angst!!!!!

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Fandom: Eddsworld

Character: Tom

Reader: Depressed

Fic type: Comfort/angst

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This WILL heavily mention suic/de, blood, and perhaps other triggering topics, read at your own risk!!

Notes: People, I'm not trying to make depression and similar illness romantic, this is simply for comfort.

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I hate everything.

Well, not everything, but the majority, y'know? Everything just...sucks. Life in general, it's all terrible.

People are terrible. Sure, I've found a few choice people that aren't the bane of my existence, but even they have their flaws.

Am I saying that I'm some heaven sent angel? Hell no I'm not. I'm just as terrible if not more! I hate everyone, including myself.

Am I lying? Yeah. Do I have a crush on someone? Yeah. Am I gonna do something about it? Nope.

Why should I? It's not like I'll be here longer anyways...

I'm planning to kill myself.

Am I scared? Kind of. But at this point I don't care. I'm always scared anyways. Always on my guard around people.

Most people don't know the fear and pain of constantly feeling...numb.

It's not like I never feel anything, it's just so rare. My most common emotion is pain. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But all I can ever being myself to do is cry, and even that's a rare occurrence at this point.

I feel so alone.

Friends? Yeah I have a few.... they're all a bit odd in their own way. Can't complain though, they're like family to me.

My real family? Not many immediate ones, plus, I moved to England five years ago. They called me everyday for the first couple of months. Nowadays, I can barely get a text back... I get that they have their own lives in their respective country, but man, it just makes me so cold-feeling...

I guess where I was going with this, is that I'm scared. Not of my inevitable death, but everything else.

I'm scared of anything and everything now that I think about it. I don't exactly mean common fears they talk about in elementary school, I'm talking real world problems.

I'm scared of failure, not sure why. I've failed enough in my life....it shouldn't even faze me at this point.

Im especially scared of people.

My friends? Yeah them too. What if I make a fool of myself and they think I'm an idiot? What if I make the wrong move, and they hate me? They probably hate me enough as it is...

That why I won't confess to Tom. He'll hate me afterwards. There's just no point in ruining something for nothing in return.

These were the thoughts that ran through my head as my arms and legs were sliced up by a blade driven by my own hands. It's wasn't like it hurt. All it really did was sting, I'm just that used to being hurt, I suppose.

As I was wrapping up my little 'session' I heard a knock on my door,

"(Y/N)! You in there? It's dinner time! I made breakfast for dinner!" A British accent leaked through my door.

I didn't scramble around at the thought of him walking in, my door was locked after all. It's not like I'm that stupid.

" I'll be there in a few minutes, Edd." I spoke back in a raspy voice, not bothering to yell. Edd has good ears, he can somehow hear a whisper from across the house.

It takes me a minute or two to get up and walk into the bathroom that connects to my room. I stumble a bit with the loss of blood.

Once I get in there I take a quick shower, just barely long enough to stop the bleeding and make it appear as if you just took an actual shower.

Once I get out of the shower, I slip on my (favorite color) hoodie.

That was an easy part of hiding my self abuse. Everyone in the house wore a hoodie of their own designated color.

I also slipped on a longer article of clothing to go onto my legs. Couldn't let them see my thighs either.

Once I finished the rest of my cleaning up, I headed out of my little bathroom, and in front of my door. I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out.

I got about halfway down the stairs before a screech startled me, causing me to trip a bit,

" (Y/N) IS HERE! YAY!" The high pitch British scream could only belong to the narcissistic ginger known as Matt.

Once I got my balance back into my feet, I continued down the stairs and greeted Matt with a wave.

" Yeah she lives here, idiot. She's not going anywhere." A deeper voice had spoken, I turned around and Tom was there as expected. I smile shrunk a bit at his last comment.

" Sup (y/n)." You snapped out of your thoughts and responded with a casual 'yo.'

The three of us then heard a thick accent cursing in the kitchen, no doubt it was Tord,

" For jævla skyld! Just let me have the last piece!!"

Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, Edd and Tord were fighting over the last piece of bacon. I let out a sigh, and the two boys finally acknowledged our existence. That alone didn't stop their argument though.

I didn't even bother attempting to break up the fight, I never could anyways. Their little fuss always ends one of two ways. Edd steals the bacon from under Tord's nose, or vise versa.

I just grabbed a small portion of food, and sat down.

I knew I would be gone by the end of tonight...but I wanted to taste Edd's cooking one last time.

Something interesting happened, instead of one of the two boys getting the bacon, they halved it and sat down. Of all my four years living in this house with these people, they've never shared their bacon.

Strange.

Dinner wasn't as talkative as it usually was when we all ate at the table. Usually we'd all have a big group discussion about our day, or week. Tonight was quiet, giving me an opportunity,

" Hey, guys?" Each one of their heads turned to me, and Edd signalled me to continue,

" I just wanted to say, thank you." Their brows furrowed but I held out a hand to tell them to let me finish,

" You four have helped me with so much over the past few years. From when you let me live here when I couldn't find proper housing situations, to letting me borrow the car. I just wanted to formally tell you all how grateful I really am. You are truly the kindest people I've ever met." As I went on talking, I realized how bad of an idea this actually was.

I mean, will they get suspicious? I'm just showing gratitude right? It shouldn't sound like a cry for help or anything...

As I snapped out of thought for the fiftieth time today, I notice that all of the boys have some type of smile on their face, even Tom!

Edd was smiling like a proud mother,

Matt was smiling giddily,

Tord had a smug, 'cool guy' smile,

And Tom had the smallest smile that made my heart melt.

I awkwardly continued my fake smile, and sat down.

Conversation continued on as would on a normal night, with the topic being past pleasant memories.

I volunteered to wash the dishes, it was the least I could do. There was only one problem. For some ungodly reason, Tom had insisted on helping me.

I couldn't figure out why at first, untill it dawned on me that he probably needed something from me.

So as I scrubbed the forgetten food off of the ceramic plate, he rinsed and dried them. We did this in silence, aside from the running water. Tom's the first one to break the tension filled silence,

" So, how have you been?" It was such a simple question, I could have simply faked a toothy grin, and said that I was great. I could have thanked him for asking. I could have asked him back.

But I only did one of those things.

" I've been doing just as good as I always do." I reply with a small sad smile. I tear my eyes away from the dish water," How about you? You've been awfully quiet tonight."

He chuckles lowly," Just had a lot on my mind, trying to face some of my problems, that's all." I stop what I'm doing and look over at him,

" Do you want to talk about it? I think the others are asleep already."

Normally when Tom is having any type of problem, he comes to me for advice, or even just for someone to listen to him rant when he's drunk. I even gave him a spare key to my room if he ever needs me while I'm asleep. He's offered the same for me, but I told him that I have a counselor. I try not to lie to my housemates all the time, only when necessary.

He simply shakes his head in response," Nah, this is one I have to deal with on my own," I sigh,

" Alright then, but keep my offer in mind. Just try to remember to see me before I go to bed, I'm...going to bed early tonight. I have something to do tommorow." He nods in understanding.

After we finish the dishes, we say our goodnights,

" I'll see you in the morning, (y/n)." I give one last fake smile,

" Same to you, Tom. Sleep well." I see him nod and walk down the hall as I close my door and lock it for the final time.

I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. All I see is a monstrosity of a person glaring back at me.

The bags under my eyes had only gotten worse after the sleepless nights I spent writing my suicide note.

I decided to skip reading over it one last time, I want nothing that could alter my decision at hand here. If I read my dying love letter that's written to Tom, I might stop myself in some kind of silly hope that everything could be okay again. It was too late for all that now.

So, I grabbed my blade that had served me well over the years, and stepped into the bathtub. I didn't cry, I didn't shake in fear of what I was about to do. I sadly smiled instead. As I took my hoodie off, revealing a tank top that no one knew I owned. I set my hoodie softly onto the floor, and turned on the hot water.

I took a deep breath in, and sigh, grabbing my blade and getting to work on my first artery. It took me a couple tries to find it.

But once I did, it started the red tint in the once clear bath water. I took in a shaky breath, adjusting to the dizziness of loosing so much blood so quickly.

At this point I couldn't even hear the bathwater running, everything was muffled.

I reached to turn it off, and a hand was placed onto mine. It takes me a good second to register that there was someone next to the tub, yelling my name right next to my face.

I try my best to focus on who could have caught me. Yet it's so difficult to take in my surroundings at this point.

So as I stare at the person beside my bathtub with fading eyes. I feel pressure on my wound, and see something being wrapped around it.

I start panicking, trying to say no, to let me die.

But I just can't. I just watch as my life is saved against my will.

Suddenly I can see that I'm moving, I can't figure out how until I notice the arms carrying me bridal style to a soft surface. That's when I lost consciousness for the next hour.

I didn't exactly 'wake up' more like fazed into existence. It's like I just gradually became aware of what was around me.

I became aware of the sobs coming from my bedside, and of the pressure squeezing my hand.

I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up. Yet I instantly regretted my decision, pain shot throughout my body. I glance over to my hand and up the....purple arm....

Who is this? Or perhaps I should say, what is this?

It's some kind of...monster? Hybrid? It looked kind of human... I could only see the torso and up. Even then, the arms grew bigger the farther down the arms stretched, and turned a deeper and deeper shade of purple. Horns poked out of the head laying slightly onto my shin, poking me a bit.

" Am-" I hold my throat. That hurt. I clear my throat of the mucus and start again as the unknown monster wakes up,

" Am I dead?"

The monsters head shoots up, and I can't help but recognize the 'eyes' that I've grown to love.

" T-Tom..."

He tries to smile for me, but it twists into a sad frown as his black orbs start to water,

" (Y/n)....(y/n) you're...y-you're okay! You're okay..." He said this over and over again as he cupped my cheeks with his transformed hands.

I grab onto his forearm to steady his shaking. This was starting to scare me.

I had never seen this man shed a tear in front of me, yet alone bawl into my shoulder like he was doing now,

" Tom, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered this, and many other reassurances into his ear. Confirming to him that it was going to be okay and that, to my displeasure, I wasn't going anywhere.

He seemed to get angry after a few minutes, he ripped himself away from me and took hold of my shoulders,

" WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T RIGHT HERE? WHAT IF I HADN'T OF WALKED IN!! WHAT THEN HUH? YOU WOULDN'T BE RIGHT HERE!!! YOU'D BE GONE!! I would have...lost you..." He slid down the side of my bed as he finished his outburst. He sat crying into his knees.

I didn't know what to do. Is he mad at me? But despite the questions, I acted without thinking.

I began to run my fingers through his hair, almost brushing it. He seemed surprised at first, before he leaned into my touch.

" I'm sorry Tom. I didn't think it would effect you like this..." All was silent for a few moments. Until,

" Why..?" He sniffled a few times before I could respond.

" Why? Why what?" He looked up to me,

" Why would you try to leave me?" I couldn't even bring myself to say anything after that. Tom seemed to sense the frog in my throat, and continued,

" You don't realize, (y/n). You don't realize how special you are. To your family, your friends. I mean bloody hell (y/n)! What about us?! Edd would be heartbroken! And how are we supposed to explain something like that to Matt?" I avoided the possible eye contact and twidled my thumbs in my lap,

" What about me (y/n)? How am I supposed to go on living with myself if you, the love of my life, killed herself?" My mind went blank. He took my hand in between both of his,

" I know this isn't the greatest time for this, but if it'll boost your self esteem even a little bit, I don't care about embarrassing myself. (Y/n) (L/n), I am deeply in love with you, and have been since you moved in. I've loved you since you helped me to bed when I came in drunk all those years ago. I've loved you since you beat my Pac-Man score at the arcade, I acted so mad, but you were just so cute so excited like that... (Y/n)... Please let me help you love yourself by loving you..."

By the time he was done with his speech, I was in tears, a small frown on my face. He seemed to get the wrong idea as he instantly dropped my hand and got up,

" I got the message, I'll just uhm... I'll just g-" I grabbed his hoodie strings and pulled him in for a kiss.

We could both tell that there would be many more to come.

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I'm sorry if it's extremely long, I just love to write angst haha...

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spideyydarling · 7 years ago

Text

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: 5 and 95 for the prompts please! With either Tom or Peter, I like both. GO FOR IT JORD! YOU CAN DO ITTTTTT!!!!** **

Prompt: 5. “I'm not here to make friends”

95. “I think i'm in love with you, and that scares the crap outta me”

Word count: 2116

A/N: this is my first ever fic I've posted, so sorry its really bad. thanks kaiti ( @lil-spidey ) for helping me choose and the beautiful spiderjizz cult who i love SO FUCKING MUCH and the girls in it who inspired and encouraged me to start writing.

It was your first day at your new school, all you wanted was to get through the day completely unnoticed, but, there was the undeniable fact that you were the newbie, you were bound to be noticed. First period had proved you right, you were late because you couldn't find your class, so when you stumbled in through the door all eyes were on you.

“Ahh, this must be (y/n),” the teacher boomed. You kept your head down, eyes darting back and forth between your hands and your feet, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. “Okay class, this is (y/n), uhhhh,”the teacher looked at you with eyebrows raised, motioning for you to clarify your next name.

“(y/l/n),” you managed to mumble, so distinct only the teacher heard.

“Alright, (y/n) (y/l/n), you can take the empty seat right there,” pointing to the last chair on the second row, you followed the teachers directions. You shifted from your position, and situated yourself in your new seat.

“Psst,” you looked to the left and locked eyes with the most gorgeous brown orbs you had ever seen, the boy himself was quite the looker. You couldn't help but smirk, the boy next to you was so cute!

“Hi, I uh, I-I’m Peter, Peter Parker,” he put a hand out, you looked down at it, then decided to take it giving it two quick shakes. “Hehe, um, (y/n) right?” dropping your hand and picking your pen up, you hesitantly answered.

“Yeah, im new.” idiot, you thought, why would you say that? Of course he knows your new, look at the way you tripped into the classroom!

“Oh yeah, did you move here recently?”

“yeah, Queens, in this little apartment block with my mum.” okay then, give him your social security number too why don't you

“Hey! I live in Queens too!” Peter said a little too enthusiastically.

“Shush Peter,” the teacher yelled in our direction, luckily though, no one seemed to really notice you, only Peter.

“S-sorry sir,” Peter stuttered.

“God, Penis Parker, s-s-stop s-s-stuttering,” a rude boy (whom you soon found out was named Flash Thompson, school bully, but mostly a bully to Peter) announced from across the classroom, which sent the class into a quiet fit of laughter. Peter's face went scarlett. After the class had settled, he whispered back into your direction.

“So, why did you come to this school? New friends? Or-”

“I'm not here to make friends,” you cut him off abruptly. Just as he was about to respond, the bell went, signalling next period, but peter continued to make conversation while you both packed your things up.

“Well, uh, what’re you here for then?” he questioned, placing his book in his bag.

“To graduate.” you told him.

“Well, we’re all here to graduate, anyway, what do you have next?”

“I have..umm..” you checked your timetable biting your lip in concentration, knowing little that the boy was watching you intently, hoping you had the same class so he could talk to you more, he had never seen someone so beautiful, he was adoring you. “I have english.” peter grabbed your timetable off you and scanned it.

“Hey look!” he looked up with an ecstatic smile plastered on his face, “we have the same classes!” you couldn't help but grin back at him, his smile was contagious, and his eyes were sparkling. Peter Parker, you thought, maybe it would be good to have a friend while i'm here.

“Okay (y/n), uhhh, seems like everyone else is gone, maybe we should too,” he gave your timetable back to you and slung his bag over one shoulder. You watched him as he headed over to the door, mesmerised by the boy, for some reason you couldn't shake the feeling that a zoo had just landed in your stomach. “Well, uh, l-ladies first,” he gestured towards the door with a nervous chuckle, putting a hand to the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah, thank you,” you walked over and flickered your eyes to his, seeing that he was staring at you. A rose colour creeped its way into your cheeks as you walked through the door.

It was your second week at your new school and you and Peter had gotten close quickly. He introduced his friends to you, Ned and Michelle. Michelle and you ot on really well, too.

Ned was great, funny and made Peter laugh a lot, which in turn, made you smile.

“So, like, what happened to Liz dude, you haven't talked about her once since (y/n) came to the school.” MJ said at lunch, whilst snacking on a floppy chip. You knew of Liz, you had PE with her, you guys had never really talked, but you knew she was gorgeous and really, really sweet. Peter looked at you straight in the eye before looking back down at his food.

“W-w-what are you talking about, Michelle, what do you mean what happened to Liz? I-i-i don't know.” you couldn't see his face, but you were certain it was not its normal colour.

“Yeah man, what ever happened to her?” Ned inquired. You leaned towards Michelle, who was seated next to you.

“What’s this about Liz?” you whispered to her.

“Oh, that loser,” she nodded to Peter's direction, where he and Ned were having a private conversation of their own, “is, well i guess used to be, obsessed with her, made googly eyes at her everyday, drooled and everything. Eh, who cares anyway, not me at least, it's good not hearing all the pining over her anymore.” and at that, she continued eating, the conversation clearly being over. Looking over at Peter and Ned, you saw that Ned’s expression was a mix of understanding and glee, you wondered what they had been talking about.

“Oh my god dude! How did i not realise this earlier!” Ned exclaimed

“Shhhh Ned, please, don't tell anyone, especially not (y/n),” Peter hushed.

“Don't tell me what?” you looked at Peter, then locked eyes with Ned, giving him a glare telling him c’mon Ned, tell me, but he just looked at Peter and told you,

“Nothing, we didn't even say your name??” Peter looked at you with longing in his eyes. What weren't they telling you? Why couldn't Ned tell me, especially? You’d just have to get Ned alone.

“Ned! Wait up!” you jogged your way over to his locker, where he was putting his books away. It was the end of the day so you were pretty sure Peter wouldn’t be around, he always disappeared around this time.

“Whats up, (y/n)?” Ned asked you. This was your chance.

“Ned you gotta tell me, please??” you pleaded him.

“Uhhh, tell you what? I know nothing,” Ned darted his eyes to look anywhere but at you.

“Ned, please.” you managed to make contact with his eyes, you knew he would tell you now, you had your puppy face on.

“Okay, fine. You can not, i repeat, CAN NOT EVER, let Peter know i told you.”

“Okay” you promised, fingers crossed behind you back, just in case, you know, for luck, or whatever.

“He really reeeaaalllyyy likes you (y/n), i don’t know how i missed it, its soo obvious. I have a feeling you really like him too, huh.” your face was no doubt red, giving away all hope of hiding the fact that you really did like him too, a lot. “See, i knew it. I think you guys need to talk, about stuff. Anyway, i'm going home, i just got a lego death star”

“Yeah, uh, send me a pic when you finish it,” you breathed out. You stood stock still in shock. Peter liked you? Omg, omgomgomg, Peter Parker likes me back, you thought, a smile stretching across your face. You got home s quickly as possible, sprinting past your mum. Once you got to your room you jumped up and down and squealed out in glee. You got your phone out of your pocket and texted Peter.

Hey, Peter, can you meet me?

No more than a minute later, your phone buzzed

Yeah, of course! Ill be at the park in 10!

You grabbed an apple on your way out of the house and walked down to the park, it usually took you about a 15 minute walk, but you got there in 8 due to the fact you were running from unending energy, a newfound mix of happiness and nervousness in your stomach fluttered around. Peter wasn't there just yet, so you plotted yourself onto a bench awaiting his arrival. You were restless, to say the least. Your mind couldn't stop thinking of Peter. You'd only known him two weeks, but your heart wouldn't stop chasing your stomach every time you saw him. Lost in your thoughts, you hadn't even realised when Peter walked up to you, not until you felt the weight shift on the bench. Your eyes searched the chocolatey ones gazing down at you.

“Hey, (y/n), what’s up?” Peter could sense the edginess pouring out of you, “is everything okay (y/n), tell me, you know you can tell me right? I'm here for you, just, uhh, just let it out.” he shifted his body to face more towards you.

“nothing is wrong Peter, matter of fact, i think things are pretty good,just uh, well, do you-umm-well how do you feel,” you took in a shaky breath, not being able to word the sentece correctly, “i just need you to be honest, Peter, okay??” Peter nodded slowly confused by what you were saying. “Do you like me?”

“Of course i like you, (y/n), you're my friend, a really good frie-”

“No, Peter. That's not what i mean.” you looked down at your palms, tracing the lines in them with your eyes. Peter's face was scrunched up in confusion, not understanding.

“Oh,” Peter mumbled after a few moments, realising what you really meant. He put a finger under your chin, leading your face to his direction. He moved his hand to softly cup your face, while he peered into your eyes lovingly. Dropping his hand into yours he said, “(y/n), i-i do, i r-really really do like you. In fact, i think im falling in love with you, and that scares the crap outta me,” your heart stopped with the realisation of what was happening in that moment.

Peter jerked his eyes between your lips and eyes, slowly moving forward. You stared at his soft, sculpted lips, also, inching forward, until finally you both met. The kiss was soft, short but sweet. You twirled your fingers through his hair and kissed him again, more profound this time, less hesitant. He cupped your face before he pulled away.

“I think i'm falling in love with you too, Peter Parker,” you murmured.

He had a grin from ear to ear. Diving in for another kiss, you were interrupted by vibration in your pocket. Your phone displayed the following words:

New picture message from Ned

“Its from Ned,” you say, unlocking your phone. Both you and peter untangle from each other and stare down at the screen.

(y/n) I FINISHED IT!! Look! Btw if ur with Peter tell him i had a bunch of fun making it without him! :((

It was a picture of the Lego death star, you smiled up at Peter and tilted your phone so he had a better view.

“Whoa! Thats heaps cool, wait a second, what does he mean by ‘if you're with Peter’? Oh god, he didn't tell you, did he?” you diverted your eyes from him.

“Uhhh, no, of course not,” you lied

“Ugh, Ned!” Peter groaned

“Hey, good thing he did tell me, you never would have told me your feelings otherwise,” you laughed with Peter.

“Yeah, i guess im pretty lucky,” he smiled at you.

Dude that looks so good! Peter said he loves uuu!

Placing your phone back into your pocket, you looked back up at Peter.

“Anyway, where were we?” you grinned, placing another kiss onto his lips.

#fanfiction #imagine #peter parker #tom holland #my writing #sorry its so bad #one shot #marvel #spiderman #spider-man: homecoming

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