#i even considered taking the BUS. that’s how much i hate the s3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soveryanon · 4 years

Text

Reviewing time for MAG182!

- I concur with Martin: the return to the Fearscape was pretty brutal with this episode, although Martin hilariously/bittersweetly provided us listeners with the warm-up he was himself missing:

(MAG182) MARTIN: … Seriously? ARCHIVIST: Yup! MARTIN: Not an hour from an oasis, and we’re already at “sinister hospitals”? ARCHIVIST: It’s the next stop on our journey. MARTIN: Of course it is, and, of course, there’s no chance for a warm-up? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [INCREDULOUS] A… “warm-up”? MARTIN: Yeah, you know. Something a bit more… manageable, a, a chance to get our bearings a bit first. ARCHIVIST: What exactly did you have in mind? MARTIN: I dunno…! You know like a, like a creepy… bus stop, or something?

The little bits of Martin humour helped, in their own ways? I like how Martin was unable to find good convincing examples of not-too-creepy fears (he’s worked at the Institute for at least nine years, and we know that most statements they receive are fake claims, he probably had to deal with a lot of creepypastas!); I dislike how Martin suggested a “creepy bus stop” because the only thing I can think of is “Totoro gone wrong”. Plus, considering Martin “and you know what? If we were all happy that wouldn’t actually be the end of the world!” Blackwood’s knack for dooming things… we might get a creepy bus stop before the end of the series in the worst possible way, or Martin’s last scene taking place at a bus stop.

Martin was right with his trope-savviness, creepy hospital felt overused as a concept… on the paper. And then, surprise-surprise, this episode was still incredibly brutal, viscerally concrete and violent, and had elements which could come for Jon’s and Martin’s throats specifically: I so wonder why Martin (whose mom had health issues, who had to live the six months of s3-s4 timeskip with Jon in a coma) might dislike hospitals! Meanwhile: Jon got to tell the fate of a victim who was born in BOURNEMOUTH (where he grew up), and pseudo-gave birth to something and was then feeling abandoned by the creature-doctors… given how his own mother died from “complications during routine surgery” (MAG081), aouch? These slight echoes were enough for me to feel super uncomfortable for them, personally…

- Nothing new about the fact that Jon is better in the domains rather than inside of the no-Fears oasis, but the reminder still hurts ;;

(MAG181) MARTIN: You’re sure we can’t stay longer? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I–I–I’ve been, hum… Uh, these last few days I–I’ve been… getting weaker. Dizzy spells, vagueness, you’ve seen it. Being cut off from the Eye, i–it’s not good for me. MARTIN: Yeah, but if… [INHALE] If you’re that connected, that… dependent, what happens if we actually, y’know, do manage to– ARCHIVIST: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I just need us to be moving on. […] MARTIN: Feeling better? ARCHIVIST: Uh… Yeah. I’m afraid I am…! MARTIN: All right.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Truth be told, I’m actually feeling… pretty great! [PAUSE] Which… isn’t necessarily a good thing, I suppose. MARTIN: Yeah, I know. [SIGH] We stayed in Salesa’s as long as you could. ARCHIVIST: … A bit longer, actually, I was, uh… not really holding it together by the end. MARTIN: Why didn’t you say something? ARCHIVIST: It’s fine, I’m fine. MARTIN: Yeah, now. ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process.

I’m glad and proud that Jon admitted that he had actually made them stay longer than he should have, and only precipitated their departure when he couldn’t hold on anymore. Ideally, of course, it would have been better to explain to Martin what was happening as soon as Jon connected the dots; but it’s also absolutely understandable that Jon… wanted to give that fragment of peace to Martin (since Jon was better amongst the Fears, while Martin hated it), and knew perfectly well that Martin wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it and/or would have pushed for them to leave quickly if he had learned that it was taxing on Jon. I’m a bit more anxious, however, over the fact that it still feels like Jon understands a few things about this world and his own condition which he hasn’t shared with Martin yet…

And likewise, it’s good that Martin isn’t bitter about having had to leave, and has his priorities straight (HA.) about himself – that he deserves to feel good, but not at the extent of sacrificing Jon or letting the whole world rot:

(MAG181) ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I… It would have been nice to stay. MARTIN: [WISTFULLY] Yeah… I’d almost forgotten what it was like, you know? A bit of peace, eh! ARCHIVIST: I mean, you could have… MARTIN: No, don’t say it, Jon. You know I never would. I–I can’t just “forget” about all the people out here!

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Was I wrong? To hold off? [SILENCE] MARTIN: … No. No you weren’t. [SCOFF] Just getting the chance to sleep again was…! [PAUSE] Ah well. Good while it lasted! Come on then. [BAG JOSTLING] “Nightmare hospital” it is…!

Extra-glad for Martin having been able to appreciate the ability to sleep since… he technically could sleep back in the cabin (but it was something bad, to torment him further), while Jon was unable to:

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. ARCHIVIST: I couldn’t wake you.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] But you have need of neither; and so you sit in your meagre comfort and belief of security with nothing to do, nothing to distract your mind from the agonies that lie just beyond your window.”

(MAG180) SALESA: The one and only! I must say I have been, uh… [THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP] [PIANO CEASES] SALESA: [SAD SIGH] [SILENCE BUT FOR CLOCK TICKING IN THE BACKGROUND] ANNABELLE: I did say this might happen. SALESA: You did, you diiid. Well… so much for my big reveal… Shame. Ah, well. We can talk after they’ve slept, I suppose. Urgh! And had a bath. And some food.

(MAG181) SALESA: Come in! Did you sleep well? Have you had something to eat? Annabelle said she’d shown you the pantry? [SALESA CEASES THE MUSIC] ARCHIVIST: [UNCOMFORTABLE] I, er… We… slept. I, I don’t know… H–how long’s it been? SALESA: About seventy-one hours by my clock. How’re you feeling?

It’s even truer for Jon: he was able to sleep back then, and it was the first time… since the beginning of the apocalypse (MAG160). Did he even dream in Upton House? If he was absolutely cut from The Eye, it’s possible that he didn’t witness the Eye nightmare zoo… which would mean this was the first peaceful sleep he had got since season 1 and the first live-statements he had taken.

(I’m still curious about Jon’s victims, though I feel like we’re likely to hear about them once they reach the Panopticon, so I wonder if they noticed a difference?)

- … Jon has been raising a few alarms since Daisy died:

(MAG179) ARCHIVIST: Is it… Is it awful that I wish she’d recognised me? MARTIN: Daisy? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I mean, she was… We were friends there, sort of, near the end. We went through so much and it just… I wish I could have actually said goodbye. MARTIN: Would it have made you feel any better about any of it? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know. Maybe? It’s hard to know how I feel about… anything these days. [SILENCE] MARTIN: We said our goodbyes to Daisy after the institute. This was just… This was just dealing with all the stuff she left behind. ARCHIVIST: … I suppose.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: How are you doing? About… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m–I’m not sure how to feel; just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST: I do. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST: Oh, she’s made it this far. MARTIN: … Yeah. I just worry. ARCHIVIST: Yeah, me too. But I’m… uh, “keeping an eye on her”, so…

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: We both did. But apparently I’m the only one who got to. ARCHIVIST: It’s okay. I deal with things differently these days. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay.

Reaaaaaaally Jon? Really? He’s been mostly focusing on Martin’s feelings, while not really processing his own, not allowing himself to sort them out. Is he really dealing with them? Jon had been Daisy’s friend (unlike Martin, who had one (1) nice exchange with her during season 4), and had collaborated with Basira during season 2 and more or less cohabited with her (although on patchy terms) during season 4, when Martin was making himself scarce. Amongst them, it’s mostly Jon who would have reason to want to stop and breathe, to think about what he has lost and what he could further lose… and on the contrary, he sounds like someone who keeps going while aware that he’s on limited time, thinking that it’s not even worth it to try to process things because there is nothing long-term for him anymore – unlike Martin, who might have a future…? I wonder if they will talk about the implications they can make out of their stay at Upton House: Jon had it bad, cut from The Eye, while he’s prospering in the apocalypse – would there be a way to cut him definitely from The Eye without killing him? What would happen to him, if they do manage to turn the world back? Is Martin ready to save the world if it means seeing Jon fade and die?

(- I’m a bit *squint* at the fact that the oasis happened right after Martin had it particularly bad, since he wanted Basira to stay with them:

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: No, obviously. This place is a manifestation of– MARTIN: No. Nope. ARCHIVIST: … I understand. Of course. MARTIN: Sorry, I’ve just… [INHALE] I’ve been hearing altogether too many of your statements lately, and– ARCHIVIST: Yeah, no, no, I– MARTIN: –yeah. ARCHIVIST: I, I get it. MARTIN: Just… a little break. ARCHIVIST: That’s fair enough.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: We both did. But apparently I’m the only one who got to.

Was there some dream-logic at work, the oasis and the rest happening because Martin needed it? Annabelle had also implied that she was expecting Martin to get into better dispositions (MAG181: “Don’t worry, Martin. We’ll meet again. Hopefully when you’re feeling a little bit more… open-minded…!”), so is part of Jon&Martin’s journey currently conditioned by Martin’s state of mind, rather than Jon’s?)

- Aaaah, they’re back to using (some) spatiotemporal markers:

(MAG182) MARTIN: Not an hour from an oasis, and we’re already at “sinister hospitals”? ARCHIVIST: It’s the next stop on our journey. […] Would it help if I told you we were actually… starting to get a bit closer to London? Well. What was “London”. MARTIN: … Actually yes! That does help a bit. How many more? ARCHIVIST: Depends on, uh… A few, at least.

Well, no way for Martin to know for sure that it had been “an hour”, but I’m surprised that Jon acknowledged that they were getting close-ish to London! And delighted that Martin understands how things work a bit better, and didn’t ask about physical rational distances, but about the amount of domains they would have to go through! He’s learned!

… A bit curious about Jon’s answer: what is it depending on? Is it about the (metaphorical, emotional, dream-logical) nature of their journey? Or is something/someone coming and Jon knows about it? … Or was Jon considering a potential detour through Oxford and Hill Top Road…?

(“A few” means that the Panopticon might be the thing closing Act II, since we have seven episodes left… Whether they reach it during MAG189 or ends up leaving it at this point.)

- What happened to London, exactly? We got a few mentions that things seemed a bit stranger than the succession of wasteland and domains that we’ve witnessed during Jon and Martin’s journey:

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: At least with Georgie and Melanie, I have a vague sense they’re still alive, i–in London, and, or– Well, what was London.

(MAG165) MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway. ARCHIVIST: No? You… gone on any recently? MARTIN: What? Uh… No, I don’t think so, not since I was a kid. ARCHIVIST: Hm! I actually, uh… There’s one at London Zoo – uh, was one at London Zoo. Big old thing.

(MAG177) BASIRA: I was still in the Institute when everything went to hell outside, so I guess that protected me from the first wave. … Once I saw what’d happened… that we’d… lost… [INHALE] Didn’t feel like there was anything left worth doing, except keeping my promise to Daisy – so I went looking. […] MARTIN: Hm… Kind of? Scotland’s not really a thing anymore. BASIRA: Huh. London’s still there. Sort of. MARTIN: Yeah, that’s where we’re heading. Eventually. He’s been destroying other avatars on the way.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Would it help if I told you we were actually… starting to get a bit closer to London? Well. What was “London”.

Seems like London is a bit recognisable as something which-used-to-be-London, though gone very wrong? Is it because this is the centre of the new world due to the Panopticon? Jon sounds like he knows a bit about it already, I’m reaaally curious to discover the place alongside Martin (and how it will be conveyed through sounds)!

- Ooooh Martin… Stop dooming everything:

(MAG182) MARTIN: Right. [FORTIFYING DEEP BREATH] Right! Let’s get on with it then. [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOTSTEPS AND THE BACKGROUND NOISES GET SLIGHTLY LOUDER] MARTIN: … Okay… could be worse… [THE SOUND OF BLADES, LIKE KNIVES BEING SHARPENED OR UNOILED SCISSORS WORKING] DR DOE: Good! MARTIN: [SHRIEKS] HAHHH! … HMMM, worse! It got worse! Worse, worse! ARCHIVIST: Martin– MARTIN: Ah, much worse…! ARCHIVIST: –be polite. MARTIN: Hah, hah…!

I mean, Martin, you kinda tempted fate here.

I’m snickering so hard about Jon telling him to be polite, since it echoed Martin’s snide remark from last episode:

(MAG181) MARTIN: Uh, I… already had some, thank you, uh! Some of us know how to be polite guests. ARCHIVIST: [SHARPLY] I don’t intend to accept anything offered by Annabelle Cane. MARTIN: [SIGH]

Martin could master the social cues in the no-Fear territory; meanwhile, Jon holds them in the Fearscape.

- So, if we’re still using Smirke’s categories, that was clearly a Stranger domain but I guessed thanks to the familiar elements rather than the statements themselves!

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Hello! [THE BLADE SOUNDS ACCOMPANY DR DOE’S MOVEMENTS] DR DOE: A pleasure, yes, hello! I am Doctor Doe, Jane. Welcome into my hospital, Inspector! ARCHIVIST: In… “inspector”? DR DOE: You have come here to over-observe, yes? To inspector? ARCHIVIST: I… hum… I–I suppose so, y–yes. DR DOE: Then follow! Let us tour our wellbeing centre; keep your screams inside, if you want to be polite. ARCHIVIST: R… right.

Dr Doe’s way of speaking reminded me of Nikola; her name was evoking the Anatomy Students (there was a John Doe in the batch described by Dr Elliott, though I think Jon would have commented if Jane was meant to be specially from that one, like with Mustermann); Breekon was there… But by itself, the hospital felt like it also had bits of Spiral, Flesh, Corruption and Web to me? With, as often, the Beholding touch of feeling watched/examined/stared at.

- Jon being identified as an “inspector” surprisingly makes a lot of sense! He’s identified on sight as an agent of The Eye, and he’s having an overview of the domains, how they operate; it makes sense that he would be perceived as someone who is ensuring that other avatars perform adequately for Beholding? We now know that the domains don’t require a ruler to work fine, since eliminating the avatars in charge didn’t change much (MAG174: “The tenement fire is still burning; the mortal garden is growing wild; the carousel i–”), but the avatars/monsters in place didn’t have that knowledge. The fact that Dr Doe was concerned about performing well reminded me of what Arthur and Simon had said of their connection to their patron:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: You’ve never really had to bother with it, have you? You got him upstairs to point the way as often as not, and the rest of the time you’re just figuring out people – or things that used to be people. You never try to talk with that Eye of yours. You never had to second-guess a god. ‘Cause that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? We feel Its joy and Its… anger; It warps us, and changes us, and feeds on us, though not in the ways we expect. The one thing It never does is just… tell us what to do. It seeds us with this… aching, impossible desire to change the world, to bring It to us. Then, It leaves us to guess and bicker and fight over how the hell you can actually do it. … If it’s possible. Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do.

(MAG151) MARTIN: You make it sound like the… the Entities don’t even know that they’re doing. SIMON: I have no idea if they’re doing anything at all – if they’re even capable of “doing” things. I know that most of their servants are simply doing their best to interpret and serve something that is almost definitively inconceivable. […] MARTIN: So– [EXHALE] So if no one’s ever actually communicated with their patron, how do you know they even want rituals? H–h–how does anyone know if they could ever even work?! SIMON: We don’t. MARTIN: [INCREDULOUS SCOFF] SIMON: And honestly, the idea that this is all some… “grand cosmic joke”, thousands of us running around spreading horror and sabotaging each other pointlessly while these impossible, unknowable things just lurk out there, feeding off the misery we cause… [INHALE] I find that interpretation quite appealing…! MARTIN: … “But”? SIMON: I still hear the music in my dreams.

(MAG182) DR DOE: It is a thing to look at, isn’t it? How much do they suffer, Inspector? ARCHIVIST: I… What? DR DOE: I help to cure them of their wellbeing but… I cannot know if my work is appreciated. I can only guess at fear, you know. Does it work? Do they… [GIGGLE] hurt? ARCHIVIST: Yes. Yes, they hurt. DR DOE: [NOISE OF CONTENTMENT] This pleases me.

And yikes ;; Jon was sincere here (and he was sad about it); Dr Doe’s contented reaction was to be expected but it was still chilling.

- Oh Martin…

(MAG182) MARTIN: [CLEARS THROAT] [NERVOUSLY] It’s a… It’s a beautiful building…! DR DOE: Do not insult me. MARTIN: I, uh… Okay. [LOUDER SCREAM IN THE BACKGROUND] W–what’s it called? DR DOE: Called? MARTIN: The hospital. DR DOE: Ah! St Bleedings Centre for Wellbeing. MARTIN: Riiight… ARCHIVIST: [HUSHED] Martin, keep your eyes forward. On the doctor. MARTIN: [HUSHED] Seriously? She’s all– ARCHIVIST: Better– MARTIN: –kinds of horrible… ARCHIVIST: –than what’s in the rooms. Trust me. MARTIN: Ah. Right. [THE BLADE SOUNDS STOP] [A DOOR IS OPENED] [HIGH-PITCHED METALLIC SOUND, AND WHIMPERS] DR DOE: You must look in here to see one of our four hundred operating theatres, where we ensure any wellbeing is swiftly and awfully dispatched. MARTIN: [HURRIEDLY] Right, right…! DR DOE: Sometimes is an anatomical wellness. Sometimes, the wellbeing they possess is mental. In both cases we have grinding machines and anti-trained doctors on nails to deal with it. Nobody who comes into the hospital leaves right. Or at all! [DOOR IS CLOSED] MARTIN: Oh. Heh! Gooooood… ARCHIVIST: Good lord… […] MARTIN: Any, uh… wards? Beds, maybe? DR DOE: Sometimes rooms. Sometimes we throw them in a pit. MARTIN: A pit, right, yeah… DR DOE: We have a canteen! ARCHIVIST: [HUSHED] Don’t ask about the canteen MARTIN: [HUSHED] I wasn’t going to ask about the canteen!

(Same as the Web theatre, some of those domains really are big ;;)

I’m so grateful for Martin’s constant “FML” reactions in the midst of the horror, he was clearly alleviating the atmosphere a bit – SOB about the idea that they’re organised to clinically prevent any “wellness” and that “being well” has no place in this world. It was also pretty interesting to see the contrast between Martin’s exchanges with Salesa (where he managed to get the answers they wanted, where Salesa was interested in him and paying attention to him) and this situation, where he was lacking the codes (unlike Jon), threatened and pretty much unaccounted for.

(… And I’m glad we didn’t hear about the canteen, but I can’t help but be pretty curious about the canteen now, woops.)

- Aww that Jon tried to put a stop to the visit ;w;

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Hum, Dr Doe, thank you so much for the tour. DR DOE: There is more! ARCHIVIST: Uh… Oh… “Good”. MARTIN: … J–Jon. Jon, over there, is–is that, hum…? DR DOE: He is a janitor. You are allowed to ignore him. MARTIN: Right…! ARCHIVIST: [DISCOMFITED SOUNDS] MARTIN: Jon…? J–Jon, do you… Right. Uh, uh, Doctor! Is there an empty room he can use, please? [THE BLADE SOUNDS STOP] DR DOE: What is he doing? MARTIN: He needs to… talk about all the horrible things this place does…! DR DOE: Oh, wonderful! This way.

* First Breekon cameo sneaking in! (And Jon got hit by the statement-saturation, so didn’t answer Martin’s call about it.)

* Martin immediately putting himself in charge of the situation when he noticed Jon wasn’t well! And recognising what is happening! … And he reacted fast and urgently, and that came shortly after Jon had admitted that he had pushed past his limits to make them stay at Upton House: it feels like Martin had understood that Jon actually showing discomfort over something could mean that he had felt it for a while but was trying to hide it to buy time? Since MAG163 and Martin refusing to hear about Jon’s statement, Jon had mentioned multiple times that he was trying to hold off and bottle it up, until he couldn’t anymore; so there, it was good to see Martin actually taking care that Jon got his privacy and could give the “statements” a bit more on his terms…

* Crying a bit that Martin was absolutely honest, too, about Jon giving the statements (“talk[ing] about all the horrible things this place does”), and that once again, Dr Doe’s reaction was predictable, and still yikes.

- Thaaat was quite a gruesome series of statements. What got me the most was the scale (amount of operations, just like with Francis’s acts, the fact they were counted and so… big… and never-ending…) and the mix of personal distress and “labels” of their medical forms?

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] “Patient: Jeremy W. […] Date and place of last contentment: 8th July 2013, sunrise, on Arthur’s Seat hilltop, Edinburgh. Complaint: Generalised pain and creeping ennui. Surgical procedures thus far: 802. Prognosis: Delightful. […] Patient: Renee T. […] Date and place of last contentment: 27th November 2015, birthday party prior to father’s stroke. Complaint: Facial paralysis. Surgical procedures thus far: 560. Prognosis: Exciting. […] Patient: Kelly M. Date and place of birth: 1st April 1982, Bournemouth Hospital. Date and place of last contentment: Not recalled. Complaint: Headaches. Surgical procedures thus far: 220. Prognosis: Unwise.”

“Date and place of last contentment” as an identifiable piece of data (and the fact that they were waaay anterior to the beginning of the apocalypse, which happened in October 2018), and the different “Prognoses”… Also! The fact that the cities mentioned went from “Edinburgh” to “Bournemouth”: a bit reminiscent of Jon&Martin’s journey from Scotland (or Jonah’s roots: he was initially located in Edinburgh) to the South of England, Jon’s own roots?

From Jeremy’s, I mostly got spooked by the mumbling sounds exchanged between the creatures, the overall feeling of being trapped and objectified, the otherness of the doctors, the awareness that he would almost always make the wrong choice… but not “always”, so preserving the hope of sometimes playing the game right (while the answer provided… never has anything to do with Jeremy’s actual state, is just what could potentially make it hurt less):

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “This was it, the moment of truth, the point at which all Jeremy’s anxiety came to a head. They all leaned in, hidden faces focused on him, as though drinking in his desperation. He had to make an answer, a simple yes or no. He’d learned the hard way that nuanced answers or stoic silence only made it worse. So he picked one. A roll of the dice. In many ways it didn’t matter which he chose, as there was no way to determine if the doctor of the day considered his wellness an aim to be achieved, or a condition, that required curing. “Yes,” he might say. “I am well.” And if he had chosen right, the mask would widen as though the face behind it extended in a smile. [HISSES-LIKE SOUNDS] “Wonderful!” would come the response, “keep it up!” And the crowd would file out and lock the door behind them, leaving Jeremy to wait for his next assessment. But he rarely seemed to choose right. The rest of the time a shudder of anticipation would pass through the medical things around him. [HISSES-LIKE SOUNDS] “Well! Let’s see what we can do about treating that,” the doctor would say. [THE BLEEP OF THE MONITOR ACCELERATES] And they would descend upon him, and drag him away for treatment.”

The hisses, like snakes, heard when the words were spoken, were absolutely awful, THANKS. (And the rising anxiety through the bleep accelerating…)

From Renee, the worst for me was the creatures takings bits and pieces of her, the fact that it was not about the pain (“It dulled the pain, but the pain was never the problem. Regardless, they always strapped the anaesthetic mask tight to her face before they began to cut.”), but about being manipulated and used by creatures who didn’t know what they were doing, the otherness and strangeness of what was put into her, the skinning, the biggest fear still being that she has a problem (“[The pills] might have done nothing, been naught but dust and sugar, but she could never be sure. The sickness, the seizures, the spasms, the sadness… If it wasn’t the medicine, then it was inside her. And it had always been inside her. And she just… didn’t know.”), and:

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “An organ diagnosis was simple: open her up, dig around inside her until they could remove something that could conceivably be a liver or a pancreas or a gallbladder…?, then put something back in its place.”

THAT HESITATION WITH “GALLBLADDER”…

Kelly put Jon’s mother to my mind, since she was born in Bournemouth, her misadventures evoked a child delivery, and Jon’s mother had died from complications during a surgery. So. Aouch. There might have been a bit of Lonely creeping in that one?

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “How long has it been? There is no way to tell, not here, but they will come back. They must come back, they always do, they must swap out this cold and hollow emptiness for some fresh pain an–and torture. She longs to feel the pain, as it is at least a feeling. But the fear has grown inside her now. What if the doctors are finished? What if she is treated, and this is all there is now? What if she is well? Kelly looks to the door, and waits.”

The fact that Kelly ultimately was waiting for her torturers because having to remain like this would be worse than experiencing another operation? Was awful D:

- The post-statement cut very fast for once; we only heard the static rising, indicating the end of the statement… and the tape recorder turned off even before we heard the static fade, or Jon landing back to earth.

The succession of recordings was curious! Because there were two tape recorders involved (Jon’s, and Martin’s): was Martin’s encounter with Breekon happening right after Jon’s statement (implying that Jon took a small break by himself before finding Martin back)? Or did Martin’s recording begin while Jon was still giving the statements, implying that what we’re listening to is definitely a compilation put together after the events?

Jon had reminded us that Martin had a tape recorder with him:

(MAG181) MARTIN: They sort of just … follow us round? SALESA: Hmmmm. Interesting. Did you carry it in? Things shouldn’t be able to manifest in here like that. ARCHIVIST: … You had one in your… bag, I–I think, Martin, did, did you drop it here? MARTIN: Uh… I, I don’t think so…!

And there were many options as to when Martin picked it up: MAG163, when he spotted one in the water(…ish river)? MAG166, when he had taken Annabelle’s call? MAG170, when he was alone in the Lonely house? It’s interesting that the tape recorder chose to turn on when he was alone, near Breekon, as if sensing that there would be an interaction soon (while, except for MAG166, Martin is usually left in his corner while Jon gives his statements…).

- Breeeeeeekoooon!!

(MAG182) [CLICK–] [BACK TO THE GENERAL SOUNDS OF THE HOSPITAL, THIS TIME WITH ACCOMPANIED SCREAMS] [FOOTSTEPS AND MOPPING SOUNDS APPROACH] BREEKON: ‘scuse me, Doctor. Just cleanin’ up. MARTIN: … Oh, I’m, uh, not a doctor, eh! BREEKON: Whatever. I got work to do. [MOPPING SOUNDS]

* Same VA as Dr Elliott, so… he kinda was there in spirit in an episode with what potentially used to be an Anatomy Student (through not necessarily from his batch; it seemed to be a repeat performance).

* So Breekon hadn’t died in/after MAG128! It wasn’t clear, since we had heard Jon hurt him badly, and Jon had mentioned that Breekon wasn’t… going well afterwards:

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: Stop. [HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING SOUND OVER STATIC] BREEKON: What’re you doing? BASIRA: … Jon…? What are you doing? BREEKON: What’re you– Stop it… Stop it! ARCHIVIST: [ECHOING] No. BREEKON: [STRUGGLING, BUZZING INCREASES] Enough! Stop… looking at me! [SCREAMS] [DOOR SLAMMED OPEN, FLEEING FOOTSTEPS WHILE BREEKON IS STILL SCREAMING, DOOR SLAMMING SHUT] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS] […] “I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver.” […] ARCHIVIST: I, I saw that… thing’s mind, i–it’s lost on its own. No partner, no… purpose, I… I honestly think it just wanted to do another delivery.

Jon hadn’t killed him back then, but I had wondered if the experience of being known to the core had been traumatising enough to make him slowly disappear (since Gertrude had also mentioned how avatars tended to wither away after a failed ritual, two episodes afterwards). Impressed that Breekon kept going all this time!

* Oh, Martin… honest in the wrong places… He really didn’t need to point out that he wasn’t a doctor…

- OF COURSE, MARTIN WOULD REMEMBER HOPE’S NAME FIRST…

(MAG182) MARTIN: Hang on… Hang on, are you– Wait, which one are you? H–Hope, or, hum… BREEKON: Breekon. Hope’s dead. Do I know you? MARTIN: Hm! “Hope’s dead”. Bit on the nose, isn’t it? BREEKON: Glad losing half my existence has given you a funny little metaphor. MARTIN: Oh. Well, I mean, eh, that’s not actually a metaphor per se, so…! BREEKON: [WEARY] Piss off. MARTIN: Oh, I’m… sorry, am I, am I supposed to be sympathising? After everything you two did to people? BREEKON: … Guess not

Aouch Martin.

… I feel personally called out because, when MAG128 aired, I immediately revelled in the “Breekon is Hope-less” jokes (AND STILL DO.), listen, if you two steal the name of a man’s company, be ready for the consequences.

… It hurts how technically, both sides were a bit right: Breekon couldn’t expect sympathy from Martin (they did awful things! To so many people! They brought the Not!Them via the table inside of the Institute, and it killed Sasha! They kidnapped Jon! Breekon trapped Daisy into the Coffin!), but it’s true that Martin was absolutely heartless and lacking empathy (twisting the knife in the wound).

- zesidojker about Martin confidentTM that his boyfriend could kick Breekon’s arse:

(MAG182) BREEKON: Who you waiting for? Maybe I can rip them away from you, see how you like it. MARTIN: You’re welcome to try…! BREEKON: Wait… No, I do know you. We gave you a delivery, didn’t we? Years back. You’re one of Magnus’s lot, right? MARTIN: … I was, yes. BREEKON: Wait… So does that mean, in there… The Archivist? MARTIN: That’s right.

* Sob about Martin saying he’s not from Magnus anymore. He really wants to have nothing to do with Jonah anymore, uh. (At first, I feared it was a nod towards his allegiance to The Lonely…)

* A REMINDER!! ABOUT THE DELIVERY!! Back in season 1, Martin had received the Web lighter on Jon’s behalf!

(MAG035) BREEKON: Won’t take up your time. HOPE: Just got a delivery. MARTIN: Look, you really can’t actually– BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he– HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it. MARTIN: Okay, I will, but you really have to actually– BREEKON: ‘course. Much obliged. HOPE: Stay safe. MARTIN: … I’ll… try?

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. ARCHIVIST: Delivery? What delivery? TIM: Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front.

(MAG037) MARTIN: Okay, fine. There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. ARCHIVIST: Nothing at all? MARTIN: [EXASPERATED] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men. I don’t know what else you want? ARCHIVIST: What about the table? MARTIN: I didn’t see the table. I guess Rosie must have signed for it. I mean, it’s her office on the way to Artefact Storage, that makes sense.

Well. Presumably received. Martin signed for something, and Jon remembered later that Martin had left the package for him, and Martin confirmed that the item he had received for Jon wasn’t the table (since Rosie took care of that one). A bit “damn!” that we didn’t get any new information about who had sent the lighter, since Breekon would have been the last person to know about it aside from the sender, but… well, we haven’t heard everything about the lighter anyway, so the sender might explain why they had done it at some point. (Annabelle being the ideal culprit, but mmm… I don’t want to exclude that it can’t be something/someone else?)

- Elevator music:

(MAG182) BREEKON: … I’ll wait with you. MARTIN: I… thought you had work to do…! BREEKON: Just spreading the smell around. Doesn’t matter. None of it matters. MARTIN: … Right… [SILENCE BUT FOR HOSPITAL SOUNDS] [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: Hello again, Breekon. [DOOR CLOSES] BREEKON: Yeah… ARCHIVIST: He hasn’t been bothering you, has he Martin? MARTIN: Well… BREEKON: Nah. Just been chattin’.

* So Jon had probably recognised Breekon already when Dr Doe commented about the “janitor” in the first part of the episode (or Jon already knew Breekon was somewhere in the domain before entering it), given his absence of surprise. And he implied right after that he already knew what was on Breekon’s mind, what he wanted from him…

* … I love that Martin was ready to snitch. You petty thing, Martin, you.

- Breekon joining the long list of avatars/monsters who could just feel or know that Jon was closely tied to this apocalypse:

(MAG164) HELEN: What would I have to gloat about? Much as I am delighted by this brave new world in which we find ourselves, I can take no credit for it. This was all… you!

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: She’s just like everything else here, rules by The Eye. [CHUCKLING] And she hates it…! NOT!SASHA: Well, of course you want to wallow in my shame like your voyeur master!

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: “Report to prevent future deaths. This report is being sent to: [STATIC FADES] The Great Eye, that watches all who linger in terror, and gorges itself on the sufferings of those under its unrelenting, stuporous gaze! And its Archive, which draws knowledge of this suffering unto itself.”

(MAG169) JUDE: Fancy seeing you both here. To what, exactly, do I owe the pleasure, the honour, of being graced by the great and powerful Archivist, harbinger of this new world, and his, uh… valet…?

(MAG171) JARED: Mm. … So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers.

(MAG173) ARCHIVIST: … Do you know who I am? CALLUM: … You’re the Eye guy, right? ARCHIVIST: That’s right. CALLUM: So you’re like… real important.

(MAG174) SIMON: Good to see you again, Martin! And you must be the famous Archivist, Herald of the Ceaseless Watcher, Harbinger of the New Age, etcetera. Lovely to meet you at last. […] I imagine you know pretty much everything by this point. How is it? How does it feel? [SHUFFLING] ARCHIVIST: … Strange. SIMON: Yes! I can imagine. These gifts can feel very disconcerting at times. I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: So you’ve come to me? BREEKON: Didn’t mean to. ARCHIVIST: No, but you have. Because there’s something you want, isn’t there? BREEKON: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: Say it. BREEKON: … Kill me. MARTIN: Wait, what? BREEKON: The way I figure, you’re the one who made all this. So if anyone can end it, you can. Can you do it?

* Which makes it even more significant that Salesa didn’t know about it “naturally” (Annabelle had told him about Jon’s patron), and that Basira didn’t have that knowledge either. In the same way, Melanie&Georgie might not know about it, unless they’ve been working with someone in the meantime…

* Big “YIKES” about the implications of “you’re the one who made all this. So if anyone can end it, you can.”: Breekon was spot-on on that specific situation involving him, since Jon could end him personally, but on a larger scale… can Jon put an end to all this, personally, since he was used as the lynchpin for this apocalypse?

- Why am I crying again about Breekon, I thought MAG128 had been enough…

(MAG128) BREEKON: Dunno. ‘t’s not right… on my own… not right… No point in doing it on my own. Don’t know what happens now… Thought I might kill you. Missed my chance. Thought I might just… deliver something. So here’s a coffin. [RATTLING SOUND] In case you want… to join your friend. […] ARCHIVIST: “I have never known hate before. I have never known loss. But now, they are with me always, and I desire nothing but to share them with you.”

(MAG182) BREEKON: Glad losing half my existence has given you a funny little metaphor. […] We arrive somewhere, deliver terror and death, then leave, never to be seen again. Not much call for that now everyone’s in their little “kingdoms”. Maybe if we were complete, we could’ve done something, but as is… No. Can’t say I want this to be my forever.

The fact that through Hope’s death, he learned loss… that he felt quite clearly depressed (“Doesn’t matter. None of it matters.”)… His obsession with fracturing pairs:

(MAG128) BREEKON: In here. [KNOCKS ON SOMETHING] Realised that I’m not tied… to it anymore. Not on my own. Thought you could have it. Pay your respects, lik– BASIRA: [BROKEN VOICE] Daisy’s in there? BREEKON: … That’s ‘s name? Then sure. ‘t’s in there. Whatever’s left. Find out if you like. […] ARCHIVIST: “When that Hunter killed him, when she took her violence of mindless instinct and unleashed it on us… it was there. It was waiting. I fed her to it. She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that. She gets to live, trapped, and helpless, and entombed forever. No prey, no hunt, no movement. We failed, but I have at least that comfort. I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver. But I am no longer tied to the casket; so you can have it. You can stare at it, knowing how your feral friend suffers, knowing how powerless you are to help. And when you can’t bear it any longer, knowing that you can climb in and join her…”

(MAG182) BREEKON: Who you waiting for? Maybe I can rip them away from you, see how you like it.

His old habit of saying “we” instead of “I” resurfacing again and again:

(MAG128) BREEKON: [HUFF] Yeah. Just like when we… when I… fed the copper to the pit. […] ARCHIVIST: “She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that.”

(MAG182) BREEKON: You think I dream of mopping floors? No. We’re… I’m a delivery man. […] It isn’t great for an anonymous thing like us… [SNIFF] Like me.

The fact that unlike avatars, he had apparently just popped up like this, hadn’t had any choice or options in his “career”, was bound to that nature as a monster… (and that he was unable to reinvent himself after Hope’s death)….

- Elias had pointed out that The Stranger was “antithetical” to Beholding (MAG092), we had seen Jon hurt Breekon when he extracted his statement (MAG128), and it sure looks like Stranger creatures have a harder time than others in the fearscape:

(MAG165) NOT!SASHA: Do you know how it feels? To be… anonymous, and yet known? To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye! I’ve suffered enough!

(MAG182) BREEKON: Besides, it hurts all the time. The Eye won’t ever stop watching, and… [SIGH] It isn’t great for an anonymous thing like us… [SNIFF] Like me.

Meanwhile: The Dark was given the task of the grooming babysitter, and Jon mentioned that going through the Distortion’s corridor would destroy Helen. There is still some Beholding-favouritism in that new order.

- CRIES about Jon honestly laying the cards on the table:

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: … Very well. I warn you, though: it will hurt. BREEKON: Only until it doesn’t though, right? [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: Right. MARTIN: Good luck…! BREEKON: Whatever.

… since yeah. It will “hurt”, but unlike everything else in this world, the pain will also stop pretty fast, and depending on people’s opinion and on the hope (or absence thereof) of finding a way of fixing things, it might represent a better option for a lot of people…

(SCREAMING about Martin’s “Good luck!”. Martin, please.)

- Jon’s invocation was a bit more developed and specific this time around:

(MAG165) [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Feel it now. Understand it. You have drawn out so much despair, and now finally, it’s your turn [STATIC INCREASES] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing! [STATIC INCREASES, WITH MORE PRESSURE] NOT!SASHA: No! No… Please, no…! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] NOT!SASHA: [FADING] No…! [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG169) [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: I’d have thought that was a mindset you would appreciate. [STATIC INCREASES] Now, feel it! All the terror and pain you’ve inflicted. JUDE: Oh, piss off– [PAINED GASP] … [STRAINED] Look, look. Wait, right? I’m sorry, okay? I… shouldn’t have burned your hand. […] [STATIC RISES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG171) [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: Feel it. JARED: [MEATY HISS] ARCHIVIST: Feel all the terror and despair as your garden grows. Let it flow through you, and blossom! [MEATY SOUNDS] JARED: [GROANS] ARCHIVIST: Just people, using each other up! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this thing and drink – your – fill! JARED: [GROANS] [MEATY SOUNDS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG182) [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: [INTONING] Ceaseless Watcher, gaze upon this thing. BREEKON: [GRUNTS] [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: This lost and broken splinter of fear. BREEKON: [PAINED SOUND] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] ARCHIVIST: Take what is left of it as your own, and leave no trace of it behind! BREEKON: [PAINED GRUNTS] ARCHIVIST: It. Is. Yours! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] BREEKON: [GRUNTS IN PAIN AND THEN DISCORPORATES IN AGONY] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

With Breekon, it really felt like an offering to Beholding ;;

- Oh, the end of the episode felt so… tired and empty. Jon had done everything he had to (doing a favour to someone “very bad”), and it was basically an assisted suicide; plus, Breekon had been around since the beginning of season 1, he had been recurring (through statements and in person) during the whole Stranger arc and beyond. It felt like a bit of a book ends, although… done in misery and exhaustion. Even Martin was feeling a bit awkward about the whole situation:

(MAG182) [SHUFFLING] MARTIN: … Right. ARCHIVIST: I suppose we should find Doctor Doe. Finish our tour. MARTIN: Do we have to? ARCHIVIST: [HUFF] Probably not. MARTIN: … I don’t really know how to feel about that. ARCHIVIST: About Breekon? MARTIN: Yeah. ARCHIVIST: … Me neither.

;; And Jon is definitely not processing at all.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I didn’t enjoy it, but… I don’t know, almost felt like doing a favour for an old friend…! MARTIN: [HUFF] An old friend who hated us. ARCHIVIST: I guess. Maybe we don’t have to feel any way at all. MARTIN: [NONCOMMITTAL SOUND] [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: Come on, this place is starting to get to me.

There is the added sadness that Jon technically did something good (granting a wish!), but to someone really bad, and it was to kill him. Jon had mentioned that he felt like smiting avatars was making him worse:

(MAG174) ARCHIVIST: I–I just–! … This whole… “avenging angel” thing, I–I’m not… It doesn’t feel right. MARTIN: … It seemed to feel right when we were avenging all the wrongs done against you! ARCHIVIST: I know. I–I–I know, all right? But, well, th–… [SIGH] That’s kind of the problem, I have all this… power and, and I, I want to use it to try and help, but I… I don’t know, I mean, I do. Uh… I’ve done so much damage, an–and anything that might help to balance that is–! [SOFT SIGH] … But killing other avatars, it, it’s not… I, I don’t think it makes anything better. I think it just makes me worse. MARTIN: … You’re removing evil from the world! ARCHIVIST: I, I’m not, though, am I? [STATIC RISES] The tenement fire is still burning; the mortal garden is growing wild; the carousel i– HELEN: Urgh!

And he clearly did not do it out of revenge or anger, here… but it was still something he wanted to avoid because he felt that it was negatively impacting him. (Extra-sob over how like with Salesa, death was presented as a relief, because there is nothing good or better to hope for in this new world… Right now, the overall situation feels so depressing, like nothing good can be created ever again and the most anyone can hope for is just for things to end?)

I wonder if part of the final awkwardness had to do with the fact that Breekon was unable to go on after losing Breekon, which obviously puts Jon&Martin’s own relationship to mind: would Martin manage, if he were to be the only one left?

Alrighty, so they’re coming close-ish to London. I’m surprised that Helen didn’t pop by to pester Jon&Martin as soon as they came out of Salesa’s domain (since they might have been off the radar from her too, and she had kept tabs on them until now, even when she wasn’t revealing herself?), but that might be coming up: she had visited them right after Jon had smote Not!Sasha (his first kill Ceaseless Watching someone), and she had been quite cross when Jon had finally officialised that he didn’t want to do it anymore with Simon… so she could come back to comment on Breekon’s death. (And mmmmmmmmm… Helen, do you actually have a death wish just like Breekon, except it would be against your nature to be straightforward about it…?)

Them getting closer to London could mean Georgie&Melanie soon, too (since Jon had conjectured that they could be in London)? Hill Top Road might still happen on the way if they go a bit more South, too (especially with the reminder of Breekon’s delivery: lighter with a spiderweb is a thematic reminder of a certain Desolation&Web(&Co) house), and Annabelle had pointed out that they would see her again soon-ish… So, mm! Are they meant to be reaching the Panopticon in MAG188/MAG189, to close Act II? Or will they do something else before?

MAG183’s title makes me think of Smirke a lot, potentially Jonah, but the connection seems a bit unlikely given the overall, uh, state of the world. Vast or Buried? Lonely domain?

#mag182 #tma season 5 #tma liveblog #tma spoilers/#long post/#the magnus archives

10 notes · View notes

theonewiththefanfics · 5 years

Text

Hawkins’ Charm (Part 4/?)

Synopsys: They had gotten out of Hawkins. After all the shit that had happened, all the heartache and pain, Billy and the Reader had gotten away from that hellhole, building their life in California as he had dreamed. But when Max’s graduation rolls around and they go to celebrate, it’s as if the Upside Down was just waiting for all of them to return. And it has a bone to pick.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x f!Reader; platonic!Steve Harrington x f!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: blood, mentions of injuries and death, fighting, swearing

Word count: 3345

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE BILLY’S ACTIONS AND THE THINGS HE’S DONE! THIS IS BASICALLY AN AU, WHEN REALLY LOOKING AT IT! SPOILERS FOR S3! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!

Y/N’s heart felt as if it was about to break out of her chest, her arms clutching onto a crowbar she’d found under one of the bus’ seats. Steve’s back was just as tightly pressed against the inside wall, as was hers, his own fingers wrapped around a sturdy looking piece of wood, yet she still felt like there was nothing separating them from the Demogorgon. Tears had started to stream down her face pretty much instantly when they both dropped down to hide inside the hull of the vehicle. “Do you think it heard us?” Y/N whispered, trying not to move a muscle in her trembling limbs. Steve shook his head. “I don’t think so, but I’m not about to ask it.” “We have to get out of here.” “Yeah no shit,” he hissed, extending his neck to see out the front window where the Demogorgon was still lurking, moving at a snail’s pace and sniffing each and every corner. It looked about a hundred and fifty feet away, but it was still a risk to leave. They could slam up against something sharp, and if the sound wouldn’t give away their position the scent of blood definitely would.

Y/N was desperately trying to look around the interior for anything they could use against it. She remembered that it hated warmth, despised it, so fire would be a sure way to incapacitate it for a moment, if not even gravely injure it. Her Y/E/C eyes befell on a graffiti can. “What are you doing?” Steve asked, hands gripping his weapon tighter. She just shushed him with a look and passed her crowbar to him. Barely breathing, Y/N leaned to stand on all fours and crawled her way down the aisle. Just as her fingers were about to reach for the can, she heard the Demogorgon approach. Y/N completely pressed herself against the floor as Steve did to the side of the bus. The fear was all consuming by that point. Sure, she’d fought one of those pieces of shit before, she had fought even bigger monsters, but there was something about the Demogorgon, that Y/N couldn’t quite shake. Maybe it was the fact it had been the thing that started it all – taken Will, killed Barb and had turned her life upside down. Quite literally. Or maybe it was the fact she was no longer fighting for herself or for her friends. Y/N had a family. A husband and a daughter that meant the most to her in the world, so the fact that the Demogorgon could so easily rip it away was not something she liked to consider. They could hear the weird noises it emitted, as it walked around the junkyard, slowly moving further away from where Steve and Y/N were hiding. He stretched his neck a bit further out to look at where the Demogorgon was, and after deeming it safe, Y/N crawled forward a bit more and got a hold of the can. She couldn’t tell if it was half full or completely empty, at least not by the weight of it, so the only way they’d be able to check was if she shook it and pressed on the nozzle. “It’s gonna be loud,” Y/N muttered, looking at Steve. He nodded. “I know…" then something dawned on him. "Wait, do you have a lighter or something?” Shit. She hadn’t even thought about how she’d light it up. Y/N’s main concern had been getting the can and now testing it, not figuring out if by the lucky chance it was usable, they had anything to flame the paint up with. Instinctively Y/N patted down Billy’s jacket, for the first time ever hoping to find either matches or a lighter, but of course, there was nothing. He hadn’t smoked in years. Her mind wheered with the possibilities of what they could do. “Do you think there’s something here we could use? There’s no way kids don’t come here to smoke or drink,” she muttered, scanning the bus again. “Maybe,” Steve whispered back, still tracking the Demogorgon’s moves, the crowbar his new best friend until he could get his hands on his trusty nailed bat. “And there could be some stuff of use in the other cars, but are we sure we wanna risk it?” “Steve,” Y/N whisper-yelled, “we’re gonna have to risk it either way. There’s zero chance we can take it on with a rusted crowbar and a wooden plank. Fire’s our best bet.” “And if it’s empty?” A pregnant pause passed. “Then we run like fucking hell.”

***

The junkyard might’ve been a twenty-minute walk through the woods from Tina’s, but with a car, with having to weave their way through the town, no matter how small Hawkins was and no matter how fast Billy was driving, it was still way too far away. “Take a left!” Robin yelled, as he almost missed a turn, the tires screeching against the road and leaving black marks in their wake. She looked to the side, watching as Billy’s knuckles on the wheel turned from white to almost translucent, eyes boring into the street like he could see invisible marks Y/N had left there that would lead them to Steve and her. “They’re gonna be okay,” Robin tried to somewhat soothe him, but his grip only tightened, and his foot pressed on the gas pedal harder. “They’ve dealt with this before.” “That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Billy grunted and quickly looked in his rearview mirror to see Nancy practically decimate the path behind them, her headlights shining brightly before they disappeared as she took a quick right to pull up on the other side. “They’re alone, in a junkyard with whatever the hell kind of a monster the Mind Flayer has released now. No weapons,” he slammed a hand on the wheel, and Robin tightened her hold on the shotgun. “And it’s my fault,” he let out a bitter chuckle. “I called her a mood killer and told her to go home, ‘cause I just fucking needed to prove to fucking Tommy H, Tommy H! that I was still the King of Hawkins!” “Look,” Robin started and then pointed to where a forest road led to the junkyard, Billy quickly turning that way. “Yeah, you were a dick, when she just wanted to relax with her friends, and your ego might’ve gotten in the way, but this is not your fault.” “Really? Then whose is it?” “I don’t know!” she practically screamed. “Probably whoever opened the Gate!” Whoever. Opened. The. Gate. “Fuck,” they breathed simultaneously. The Gate was open. Had to be. There was no other way to explain how something from the Upside Down could be here. “Do you think it’s the Russians again?” Billy asked, trying to think of something else other than his wife fighting off a monster, and maybe, potentially, losing the battle. “I don’t know,” Robin shook her head and loaded two rounds into the gun. “It wouldn’t make any sense, cause the people Hopper called to help us out four years ago made sure to lock everything up.” “And do you trust what they said?” “I mean given how they poured cement over each and every door, and Joyce was there to oversee it, yeah. I trust her.” It didn’t make any sense. The only other option was that the old access point in the Lab had been opened. “I mean, the Russians did apparently have their own Gates,” Robin suddenly remembered a conversation she’d had after the whole thing had gone down, hands slightly shaking at the thought of what was to come. Would it be as bad as it had been the first time around? Billy’s eyebrows furrowed. “What like in Moscow or something?” “I don’t know. All I know is that the last time Joyce and Hopper grabbed some commie dude, and he told them they used to have their own Gates, but something always prohibited them from fully working, so that’s why they came to Hawkins. This is like the source of all that Upside-Down shit.” Of course, there’d have to be something completely wrong with this already godforsaken town. “So, you think they did what?” Billy bitterly chuckled, “hopped on a boat and sailed here? Or did they send ‘em through the post?" Robin was not on board with his attitude despite understanding where he was coming from. “Look, I said I thought I saw a weird humanoid thing with a flower for a head. Nance said that means it’s probably a Demogorgon, and the last time, that shit could make portals wherever the fuck it wanted. So, maybe there’s a Gate open somewhere in Russia, and it just decided to move on its own to where the pull is the strongest?” They had slowed down to a crawl, headlights turned off before Billy had to kill the engine. They’d make the rest of the way on foot as to not give away their position. “There still has to be a gateway open in Hawkins,” Billy whispered opening up the trunk and taking out a bat he kept there. Clara was a huge fan of baseball for some reason, and he had decided for her fourth birthday they’d go to a game and ask a player to sign it. “It might be able to survive with a Gate open so far away, but it wouldn’t be able to function. Trust me,” he gave Robin a painful look. “I’d know.” “We need to see El,” Robin muttered, whispering as they neared the junkyard. “Maybe she can help us find out what the fuck is going on. “After we save my wife.” “And Steve.” Billy just gave her a look of dejected confirmation before they stepped out into the dark woods. Y/N would always be his first priority. Her and their kid. His grip grew tighter around the bat.

***

They had miraculously managed to evade the Demogorgon, up until that point. Together Steve and Y/N had made their way across the junkyard and towards the tiny path that led into the forest but not before scouring every possible car. She was still holding onto the graffiti can like it was her last lifeline, which it might as well have been. “The one time his disgusting habit could’ve been useful,” Steve had muttered to Y/N after they had searched the third car for something to ignite the fumes if there were any left in the can. Their feet moved against the gravel with way too much noise for their liking, but the Demogorgon seemed to be far away enough, it wasn’t picking up on it or didn’t deem the prey noteworthy if it did hear them. “Quiet,” Y/N hissed with a motion to the trunk as Steve popped the back open. It seemed to be a relatively new car in the yard, at least it hadn’t been there when they were teenagers, the paint was still shiny, the light from the moon bouncing off its sides, compared to the rusty beasts lying around. A trash bag, what looked like a ripped-up sheet with stains littered across the fabric and a can of gasoline was what was inside. Gently, Steve grabbed the handle and lifted it up. Clear as the day, they heard liquid slosh around the cannister. And yet, still, with the additional fuel they could use, there was no way to ignite it. Something in the woods behind them cracked, and their heads whipped around. A low rumble echoed across the field. It was a rumble that Y/N would recognize even dead before it disappeared. “Billy,” she whispered, hope lacing that single word, but during the little moment of happiness, she had let go of the trunk's hood, as had Steve for he had grabbed onto the crowbar with both hands thinking it was the Demogorgon when it closed with a loud slam. The monster whipped its head around from where it had been sniffling, opening up its grotesque mouth and releasing a screech. Her first instinct was to drop down and hide, but someone from the opposite side yelled ‘hey!’, and they took it as their opportunity to flee. “Run!” Steve yelled, setting off in a dead sprint. A gunshot rang out, the bullet whizzing past their heads, and Y/N instinctively ducked, the graffiti can rolling out of her hands and under a pile of metal scraps. “Shit!” Y/N scrambled towards where she thought it could’ve gone but had to recoil when something sneered directly into her face. It seemed to be a Demogorgon, but it wasn’t big enough, more so the size of a big cat or a small dog. A hand grabbed at her collar yanking Y/N back, the crowbar in Steve’s hand meeting the back of whatever that thing was. “Watch out for Demodogs!” he yelled, and a bullet from the shotgun Robin was holding met its head, the beast recoiling away but not dead. Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched up. “Demowhatnow?” “Demodogs!” Steve was gripping at her hand and pulling her away to the bus to take cover, as more and more of those things surrounded them. “The year after the first incident, Dustin found this weird lizard thing, and it turned out it was a Demogorgon, only not fully evolved.” “So, you’re saying that those things,” Y/N pointed at one of them, “become that?!” By that, she meant the Demogorgon making its way towards them but being fended off by Nancy who had made a Molotov cocktail from a whiskey bottle she’d snatched from Tina’s, the end of her blouse and a lighter. A lighter! “Nance!” Y/N yelled. “There’s a can of gasoline in the trunk we were looking in!” “On it!” The Demodogs were pressing in on them. She could hear the yelps from them when the thud of a crowbar or Billy’s bat met flesh, Robin taking as many out with her shotgun, Johnathan keeping Nancy safe by creating a wall of flame as he spilt another bottle of whiskey around them and lit it on fire. It was unmistakably Billy’s arm that wrapped around Y/N's middle and pulled her behind him. “Get to the car! Now!” She wasn’t going to argue, seeing as she was the only one without a weapon, and where she was stubborn, she also knew how to read the situation. With one last look at Steve to know he was going to be okay, he nodded giving her the green light, and Y/N was running. But she didn’t get far. Pain exploded all across her back, and a metallic taste invaded her mouth as she was slammed onto the ground. Bright spots danced across her vision, and it was hard to take in a breath. It was like a belt was slowly being tightened around her neck. She thought she vaguely heard someone yelling her name. Someone vaguely sounding like Billy. Y/N tried to answer, to call out for him, but her tongue was made out of cotton, and lips wouldn’t move. Her fingers went to grab at whatever was prohibiting her from taking in a breath when she was met by fingers with razors for nails. Y/E/C eyes instantly sprung open to see the Demogorgon leaning over her, its mouth open as if waiting for her to give him permission to eat. Of course, that was not going to happen. With as much strength as she could muster, Y/N kicked at the knees of the Demogorgon, and for a brief moment, she had taken it off its balance, allowing air to start flowing once more. Quickly she turned on her stomach to crawl away, but her oxygen deprived limbs were too slow, and the agonizing feeling of claws digging in her back and dragging her away made her vision go black. For a moment, Y/N opened her eyes and saw the junkyard illuminated by a circle of fire and a horde of Demodogs surrounding her friends and the one person she could never live without. Then everything turned to darkness.

***

Robin didn’t have any more bullets, and she was fighting the Demodogs off by simply slamming them with the shotgun. But the fight didn’t last much longer. In a way, it was a miracle, as the surviving Demodogs retreated back from where they’d come from, hissing and growling. But at the same time, it didn’t feel right. Sure, they were battered and bruised and tired, and they had no complaints about no more fighting, but that’s when they were the weakest, the easiest to be killed. Billy was sporting a nasty cut on his shoulder from one of the paws of the Demodogs, and it was hard to keep ahold of the bat the pain making bright white spots dance across the inside of his lids whenever he blinked. “What are they doing?” Johnathan asked, completely confused as they’d stood back to back while struggling to defend one another. “They’re retreating…” Robin stated the obvious, but it seemed so improbable it was needed for it to be pointed out. “Why – why are they retreating?” “Guys?” Steve butted in, “where’s Y/N?” “I told her to get to the car,” Billy responded, and it was those words that made him dash towards where he’d parked the Camaro by the junction. He’d never been a religious person, the Virgin Mary that always hung against his chest had been his mother’s, but for the third time in his life, he prayed. The first time had been when the Mind Flayer had injured him. He had prayed for death to come quickly. The second time had been when Y/N was in labour. He had prayed for everything to go as smoothly as possible. Now he was praying to find his wife in the safety of his car, but when he was fifty feet away, he didn’t need light to know she wasn’t there. “Y/N!” Billy roared but was only answered by the silence of the forest. “Y/N!” Four pairs of feet joined him and looked at the distressed man as he pulled at his hair and kept yelling her name “Maybe the Demogorgon was chasing her, and she decided to run,” Steve threw out the idea, hoping for it to be true, but everyone had a gut feeling it wasn’t. Nothing was ever that easy. “No! Fuck it took her! I left the keys in the car! If she would’ve made it, she would’ve slammed on the gas pedal.” Billy chucked the bat against the door, and it left a sizable dent in it. He didn’t care about it anymore, he didn’t care about anything else anymore. His wife was gone, missing, and it had been his fault. His fault she was hurt, his fault their daughter could possibly have to grow up without a mother. His fault. “Let’s go,” Johnathan’s voice brought him out of his self-loathing. “No,” Billy shook his head. “I gotta find her.” But he had nowhere to start. Nancy tried to reason with him. “That’s what we’re gonna do, but it’s pointless to scour the woods in complete darkness with barely any protection. We don’t know where the Demodogs are or the Demogorgon. El’s at our place with the rest of the Party… She can help. She can find her.” “Do you promise?” Billy asked through tears that he could barely keep at bay. “Can you promise me she’ll be alright?” “I can’t,” Nancy’s lip quivered at the admission. She couldn’t lose another friend, but she also couldn’t swear that they’d find Y/N alive. “But El’s our best option.” He kicked the dirt by the wheel of the car but nodded. El was their best option. “Come on,” Billy wiped his face down, a trail of dirt and tears left in the wake of his palm. “The sun's coming up.” With the first scarlet rays of the new day, Billy and Robin climbed into his car as Nancy and Johnathan went back to theirs. He'd find her. And if he didn't he'd burn Hawkins to the ground.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Hawkins’ Charm tag list: @genius2050 @aiifandomsunite @ashleymarieriffle @littlefool-smalljester @infinitelycharmed23 @llcalumllhoodll @benevolentgemini @rxmanovbby @euphoniumpets @krazykatykat456 @believerofall @cracked-sidewalk98 @ccidk @babechief @meganmj @blackhood5sos @fml9603 @noodlenerd101 @universefinds @kuroidesuchloe @im-a-stranger-thing @grxxn-gardxns @springholland @beforethebraces @robinisourlesbianmom @queeneliza108 @neenaw-neenaw @lexisntthatweird @choicesismylife @mckenzie2020 @kcd15 @snuggleducky @reckless-sofia @didyouseetheflair @silver-winter-wolf @jay-ta-blog @hopeless-lovex0 @anyasthoughts @robinismyqueen @yeah-butyourenot-dacremontgomery @mcrganstarks @psychoticobsession @cutehipstergirl25 @sbfandom @mickmoon @jackyfrost01 @txhmine @dark-princess99 @morgangrice18 @changingmylifestyle367 @graveyard--baby--666 @sweetdayme4427

Forever tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28

A/N: I apologise for any grammar mistakes, I’m pretty tired, but I wanted to put out this part :D

P.S. my tags are always open :)

391 notes · View notes

j4nn4s · 5 years

Text

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?

hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)

2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?

tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO

3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?

ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons

4. Your least favourite part of every season?

season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild

season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??

season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin

season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me

5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?

tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)

6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?

OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste

7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?

OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??

8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?

IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season

but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok

personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)

also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too

PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj

9. What did you learn from the show?

omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)

10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?

omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom

11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?

tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it

Questions:

1. Favorite quote of the show?

2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?

3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?

4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?

5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?

6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?

7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?

8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?

9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?

10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)

11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?

I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme

(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)

#long post #skam opinions #tag meme

9 notes · View notes

kinetic-elaboration · 5 years

Text

Fic Rec Tag Game

I was tagged by @dylanobrienisbatman, @thelittlefanpire, and @eyessharpweaponshot -- thank you for the tags!

Post your fics you are most proud of! No limit on how many, just the ones you look at and just feel so pleased that you wrote something so great! Tag as many people as you like to get them to share their own fics! 2k19 is the year we love our own fics babes!

This is probably going to get long because I love my own writing and I’m not going to lie about it. But I’m mostly only going through my T100 fic because that’s simpler and I’m full of self-love but also lazy. (Bonus HP at the end though!)

Since There’s No Place to Go - Bellarke, 2.5k, Modern AU

West Virginia 2009. Clarke visits the Blakes and brings them a post-Christmas gift.

A fave because: I think I really nailed the style and tone I was going for: simple and clean and soft; imo it’s just pleasant to read.

This Night is Wild, So Calm and Dull - Bellarke, 1.7k, S1

Clarke is so sure that Bellamy isn't the boyfriend type that when he kisses her, and it's sweet and gentle and soft, she's more taken aback by the careful way he lets his palm rest against her cheek than by the kiss itself.

A fave because: This one sat unfinished for a long time, and I was pleased with the final outcome and glad I bothered to finish it instead of just letting the first few paragraphs grow dusty in a wip folder. Also: this could have been S1. We could have had it all!

if you yell like that, you’ll wake the dead - Jonty, 1.1k, canon-divergent S4

I woke up with the taste of metal in my mouth back from the dead

A fave because: Jonty angst is my secret favorite thing in this fandom, tbh. Also I wrote this all in one go after getting the idea on the bus and it helped me resolve at least some feelings from the trauma of Jasper’s canon death. Bonus: finally got to use that Naked Lunch quote that haunts me.

My Whole Expanse I Cannot See - Mackson, 3.5k, S4

Miller and Jackson share a room on Science Island and start to grow closer as they contemplate the end of the world.

A fave because: Classic Me style. And the only full length Mackson I’ve yet written.

Pause; Rewind - Monty & Bryan, 12k, S3 / canon-divergent

Monty and Bryan take a trip to the former dropship camp; Monty reminisces about the past and considers an alternate life not lived.

A fave because: I enjoy getting into Monty’s head. I know gen fic, especially long gen fic, has no readership, but I personally love how this turned out. (I like the fic to which it is a sequel, too, though I decided not to include it on this list.)

oh well, you’ve got me under your spell - Bellarke, 8.7k, high school au

Clarke is sophomore class president, assistant copy editor on the school paper, and a member of the debate team.

Bellamy is her best friend's tough, troublesome, protective older brother.

They barely even know each other. And yet for some reason he keeps showing up at her house.

A favorite because: I love this universe and think about it all the time, but I have such major writer’s block on chapter two that I haven’t even touched it in months. So in that sense this story makes me sad. But the first chapter at least is the kind of high school aesthetic that I’m allowed to be nostalgic for, now that it’s so far in the past that I never have to think of all the crappy parts of hs again.

We’re Home at Last - Bellarke, 4.5k, S1 (rated E on AO3 but more like M tbqh)

“The King fell in love with his Queen.”

A favorite because: I hated this while I was writing it, but now that it’s done and I have distance, I’m very proud of it. Pretty vague-smut and Earth-lovin’ scenery porn.

Iridescent - Jonty, 10k, Modern AU

Jasper takes up photography in the wake of Maya's death, and in the process makes a new friend.

A favorite because: Writing recovery arcs for Jasper makes me feel calm inside, and I had fun with the plant aesthetic of Monty’s apartment.

Bring It On Home - Bellarke & Miller, 10k, Modern AU

While working his summer job, helping with the repairs to Police Chief Miller’s house, Bellamy meets the Police Chief’s son and his best friend, with whom he becomes increasingly entangled in the last weeks before he leaves for college.

A favorite because: I worked super hard on this fic and it was sort of an experiment for me, but what I ended up with was a universe I think about semi-often and feel nostalgia for. I miss this fic a lot.

The Oasis - Gen, 2.2k, Apocalypse AU

Four survivors of the nuclear apocalypse find refuge in a farmhouse and receive aid from its two inhabitants.

A favorite because: I had a ridiculous amount of fun writing this series of Halloween fics and the aesthetic of this one worked out especially well imo.

The Sea - Lincoln/Luna, 2k, Canon-divergent (?)

Lincoln follows Luna to their new home on the sea. But on the oil rig at night, strange sounds can be heard from the water.

A favorite because: Another Halloween fic. The last one I did, and I almost skipped it because I was getting burned out, but I’m glad I didn’t because it’s a unique little story by my standards, both in terms of pairing and plot.

Anchored in the Ground - Bellarke, 9k, Canon-divergent

As they approach a relationship milestone, Bellamy and Clarke consider their personal futures, and the future of Arkadia.

A favorite because: This could have been their future! No, seriously, this is a pretty succinct summary of my ideal Bellarke/T100 endgame. Bellamy is Chancellor, Clarke is an Ambassador, the community is thriving and open, and there is peace. Also Bellarke are married. Obviously.

Bonus: Harry Potter Favorites

Words Like Smoke - Sirius/Remus, 6k, MWPP / AU

It's almost Christmas, and Sirius is missing again. James and Remus come up with a brilliant plan to keep track of him.

Or, a 1920's/post-WWI AU in which the wizarding community rejects magic, Remus makes maps in his spare time, and Sirius suffers from invisible scars.

Or, a love story.

A favorite because: I wrote this in college after reading Mrs. Dalloway and honestly I feel like that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. (Seriously this is probably one of the best things I’ve ever written though.)

Elegy - Sirius/Remus, 2.3k, OotP-era

Remus wrote poetry. Sirius finds it. Dinner is burned, dishes are rattled, the ceiling has mysterious stains, and Remus quotes John Donne.

A favorite because: I miss my favorite dysfunctional wizards. I reread this yesterday and legitimately got teary at the end.

Burning Straight Down - Sirius/Remus, 2.1k, First War Era

Sirius, sleepless and twisted inside; and Remus, feeling down on himself again; and the summer, heat waves and Death Eater attacks and letters from home.

A favorite because: I mean, as above, pretty much. An experiment in style that I think, with 10+ years of hindsight, worked.

...So I’m pretty sure everyone has already been tagged in this so if you haven’t and want to do it, do it and tag me! I always need more lists of fics to someday get around to reading... (That sounds sarcastic but it is not. I really do love seeing everyone’s favorite works floating around.)

#the 100 #bellarke #jonty #mackson #harry potter #wolfstar #sirius x remus #mwpp #mine #my writing #tag games

6 notes · View notes

shewassoferal · 6 years

Text

about Jemma page for mobile

basic information

FULL NAME: Jemma Anne Simmons ETHNICITY: Jewish ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION: straight (but demiromantic) and very confused by romance since she hasn't experienced it yet (and has trouble understanding what isn't spelled out to her, feelings-wise). Will be very into hook ups (even if I often fade to black). RELIGION: atheist SPOKEN LANGUAGE: English, British and American Sign Languages, Italian, some Spanish, Latin. (oddly good with accents) OCCUPATION: (genius) biochemist and field agent until the Monolith, then mostly consultant for the lab department and operative.

physical traits

TATTOOS: a small compass on her bikini line, on the left. NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: after the planet, two very large scars along her stomach and belly (wounds that she had to cauterize), an equally treated long scar around her arm, inches below her wrist. A scar left from a bite on her lower back. Her skin is black around her wrists because of a tentacle plant, she usually wears wristbands to hide it. Several smaller scars on her arms and legs. A scar from scoliosis surgery on her back. More burns on her torso from Giyera. After s4, a scar from a stab wound left by LMD Fitz, a smaller one over her hairline from him as well, and another robot programmed by fear!Doctor shot her other leg. And freckles.

phobias and disorders

PHOBIAS: see her about. MENTAL DISORDERS: PTSD and autism.

biography/about

The most important part to read because I'm very canon divergent, or at least you should read s3 and the effects of the planet and this page, especially if you don't know aos well. Crossovers can always happen and are welcomed (aus with those are in the verse page). After she comes back from Maveth, she'll always wear warmers to hide the scars on her arms or gauntlets and, on missions, when she might be still out at night she has goggles/glasses to see in the dark and not freak out, as well as weapons always hidden all over her clothes. Every now and then she might use more tech we have seen in the show, like a gauntlet that can create a shield (also worn over her arm). Keep in mind that while I tend to give as many flaws as they have qualities, how many weaknesses as they have strengths (you spend time bettering something, something else will be ignored), I write this specific Jemma as still a genius but also a fighter hard to defeat; she gets injured a lot around season 3, she's still learning proper moves, but doesn't let that stop her and in the next seasons she's getting better with training. She's pretty easy to put into lots of "cliché" plots we see on tumblr, where she's the muse who is beyond protective, grumpy at first and soft later, sassy, fighty, gets constantly hurt, takes everything too literally, she doesn't expect to be loved and feels like a bad person but will not make choices for others (she learned from past mistakes) and allow them to be close to her while warning them about the risks. When she melts, she's still extra cute and loving, though. Jemma considers her team a family. Often, but not much during season 3, I write her as a pretty sassy, gruff friend who is, of course, sweet and compassionate to people she loves, but also awkward, not too good at interacting with people appropriately, petty, vindictive, mean to people she doesn't like, cocky, yet full of self-hatred when it comes to her past mistakes, prone to guilt and hiding her problems, and, in a way, ready to be 'taken in' by your character and to form some strong bond in which she's protective and either openly supportive or hiding it behind a bickering exterior. She also lost lots of her impulse control and the filter between thoughts and words. She'll get in constant trouble as always, rush into danger, and scold her friends for doing the same. She'll react to things with her weird brand of humor, but also panic, temporarily lose hope, need comfort, just like an other normal person; she cannot be expected to give people constant hope and be optimistic since she has her own burdens to carry but she'll do her best to help. Season 1 is pretty much the same, bubbly scientist who needs to be reminded of what's creepy and inappropriate and likes following rules as long as she agrees with them, but since she has no medical training I headcanon that she wings it and is very proud of herself for making it work. She's not meant to be a doctor, however, and will be extremely freaked out whenever performing surgery; in season 1 and in every other season she will run away to cry right after. She has no idea that Lorelei did more to Ward than to just use him to find their Bus, or she wouldn't be joking about men being weaker than women. She did NOT have a crush on Grant Ward; she cleaned up her language to avoid an awkward moment with Coulson when interrogated in season 3, but Jemma simply felt sexual attraction for him. (She felt sexual attraction towards many men she met, since they were her type in one way or another). She's also not the extra nice and friendly person as she's usually mistaken for, but she hides mean comments or her cockyness behind a sweet voice. She was already vindictive and ready to fight in s1, as well as overconfident. She is a loving and supportive friend but only to either people she likes or those she just met who need a hand. Season 2 She trained before going undercover and never stopped; driven by PTSD, her vengeful streak, her distance from the team and her self-hatred, Jemma started believing that making hard calls and being the expendable one was her role in the team; that, and to protect her friends not only from threats but from becoming like her. They were the good guys, she was just trying her best. Killing Ward was an obsession that she had a hard time letting go of, and she was ready to give her life for several reasons, but it was still hurtful to be believed capable of hurting Daisy. She had a harder time forgiving Bobbi and Mack, she didn't blame Kara Palamas for her brainwashing - though she definitely still judged the couple Kara-Ward (when she hates someone she'll be biased and petty). From her point of view, Ward was probably using her. Either there was never a love declaration from Fitz or, if you are a Fitz rper, we can plot differently. There will be no Will so either way we'll skip that love triangle. disclaimer for who didn't read the previous pages and jumped to this: crossovers can always happen (aus with those are in the verse page). After she comes back from the planet, she'll always wear warmers to hide the scars on her arms, and on missions when she might be still out at night she has goggles/glasses to see in the dark and not freak out, and weapons hidden all over her clothes. Every now and then she might use more tech we have seen in the show, like a gauntlet that can create a shield (also worn over her arm). Keep in mind that while I tend to give as many flaws as they have qualities, how many weaknesses as they have strengths, I write this specific Jemma as a fighter hard to defeat; she gets injured a lot around season 3, she's still learning proper moves, but doesn't let that stop her and in the next seasons she's getting better with training. On the planet or season 3 Jemma has lived one year in Maveth, while it was six months for people on Earth, and has adapted to the place, responding to the constant threats and violence by turning just as feral as the beasts there. There was a red 'sun' and I have several headcanons on flora and fauna but it's something that can be told by Jemma if she's asked. A tentacle plant left her skin black around her wrists, and she has two large cauterized wounds along her abdomen, another cauterized cut on her arm, and a small bite mark on her back. She found a Kree staff and used it to hunt, becoming much better at fighting, but thinking too much meant hesitating and dying, so she had to rely on instincts and that impulsive behavior became a part of her. She also still talked to her friends as if they were there while aware they were not. After the planet, season 3 or the Big Change It's obvious right away that Jemma isn't herself after Fitz takes her home: her health is terrible, she clings to her closest friends, she hides in her room (a new one she asked upstairs, because windows are vital for her), the hypervigilant and aggressive state she's in. It takes her more than a couple of weeks to come out of her room and start talking again, cautiously at first, and asking for dr. Garner's help. She doesn't share much about the planet unless prompted by her fear of accidentally hurting her friends. Here are some of the most noticeable consequences of what happened: She sleeps in the morning after dawn because is terrified of falling asleep at night. She lost the filter between thoughts and words and between thoughts and actions and is trying to find it again. She cannot stand the smell or sight of meat. It’s not a problem with meat being ‘meat’ itself; if she can hide the smell or make it look different (like salami) she can eat it. But she also has trouble with vivisecting/dissecting human and animal bodies and can’t really see a solution for it. She's violent when startled or grabbed though it gets better with time. Depending on the verse, after some therapy and after more misadventures, she might choose to leave. Her fighting skills are not at 'May' level because she only had the basic training before the planet, but after a year of fighting she has learned how to use her whole body and objects around her as weapons. She became REALLY good at climbing things and at ignoring pain too (however she lacks of natural reflexes connected to self-defense like trying too instinctively avoid blows). Of course she kept training, even if she's more of a biochemistry expert + unofficial op. She's still captured and tortured because of Malick, too scared to go back to that planet herself and ready to die for it; Hive being real is a nightmare coming true, and she tries to stay away from everything related to him. When Lincoln goes to die, however, she tries to take his place but doesn't make it in time, stopped by Mack and Fitz. When Daisy leaves, Jemma can't say she blames her. She'll do her best to earn Mace's trust just like in canon even if not with stellar results, and be equally wary. season 4 goes a lot like in canon, with her working at the lab again as much as that's possible for her, going on missions too, and plotting against Mace. Her emotional health starts getting to a better place, the constant training when she's not supervising lab scientists helps her become an even better fighter, and she has a safehouse just in case things turn south with Mace. Having to kill a LMD that looks just like Fitz brings back all her fears of hurting the team and she's gutted, barely able to keep it together in the Framework, and she's back to bad reflexes and insomnia. In season 5 she's immediately in trouble with Kasius because she's unable to let him touch her without responding aggressively, and because she's scarred instead of 'perfect'. He doesn't kill her right away and enslaves her instead, only because he has a feeling that she might be important (as in a SHIELD member of sorts). He still keeps touching her face, but because of her violence his admirations is more about her resorcefulness in that area, since she failed against Sinara but still attacked them in surprising ways, and for that reason she's not given a light blue tunic like his special - and perfect - servants but a black one, and a collar is put around her neck because Kasius already sees humans as animals and Jemma behaves like one more than any other, so it's a mockery instead of part of the slave outfit we saw in canon. She does cut his throat later, and it's his brother who goes against the rest of her team. She can't handle the situation once back home and spends days locked in her room. It will be plotted how Deke's mother came to life but she will be showing her soft side to him (and possibly, instead of 'the steps you take don't need to be big', it's her speech about laws of thermodynamics and how she'll go on to be a supernova, monkey, fish, the same from the pod, is the one that Deke's mother used to say to people, to comfort them about the constant death in the Lighthouse). But this is where I diverge from canon again, and in this case it can be plotted differently with Fitz and Daisy rpers since it involves them directly, but by default it was Fear!Doctor and Fear!Fitz who operated on Daisy; Jemma gets herself shot trying to help her because she can't hold back, while Fitz has been locked in another room. The team is still divided by this, Fitz has his own issues with what happened (but not a psychotic break), Daisy is hurt, Jemma is afraid and guilty. At the end of the season Fitz doesn't die, cryo!Fitz doesn't need to be awaken because he 'will' wake in the version of the world that has ended and finish the circle that ends the timeloop. Jemma is free to either stay with the team but work on healing again or leave SHIELD for a while. This way I'm free to keep writing Jemma as I want, and with whatever plots I want for her after s5. By now, she became a skilled fighter and won't be losing many fights (but might lose control and kill) but for obvious reasons she needs time to heal again. However, any point in time after season 3 she can leave the team and that encourages crossovers, as well as her working from SHIELD with people from other universes not so differently from canon, or cooperating with other members of the MCU. Not necessary to read to rp.

relationships

PARENTS: Daniel and Grace Simmons. She's emotionally abusive and he's too submissive to help; Jemma was close to him until he started working more and being home less (around the time she was six and her sister Cat was born), and that's when her mother started pushing Jemma to work for them not long after. Her grandmother and the house staff are the people who took care of Jemma the most. SIBLINGS: older brother Marcus, who hates her out of jealously, and younger sister Cat, who initially was raised almost like a daughter by Jemma, then after Jemma left for SHIELD pushed her out of her life because she felt rejected, especially since Jemma lied about why she stayed in the US and told everyone she'd be a party planner; around s3-s4 will learn the truth and be close to Jemma again. BODY ENHANCEMENTS/SCARS: pre academy: -big burn on the right side of her torso, visible under bra, from torture -thick scar from waist to her belly - from surgeries and poking around -tiny scar over her heart - from her brother Marcus -other tiny stab scar on her thigh - same as above -burns and cuts on her back - discipline/teaching her to focus while in pain -replaced spleen - teach Jemma how to perform part of her surgery, also to start replacing parts of her body with tech because it's 'better', more organs will be replaced later on also so that they won't collapse under duress when she's given drugs to be stronger and smarter, and of course because she might need to fight, and her new tech parts will require other organs to be enhanced too. Can't have her dying of heart attack because her heart couldn't take what she just did with her 'enhanced' body -tiny explosive tech in her brain hard to remove -two scars, one for each side of her head, where there has been some poking around. -for now her heartbeat is faster than it should be, and blood pressure is high instead of her usually low one. PLANNED, SOON: -artificial eye and arm -two metal plates on her calfs, work in progress, so she'll have enhanced lower limbs too at the end -heart is going to be 'enhanced' soon. BACKSTORY: Jemma is the daughter of the CEO of Roxxon, Daniel Simmons, but it's her mother, Grace, who is the real pupper master, on the board of command and feared by everyone for her power and lack of soul. With Roxxon being the richest multicompany who owns more or less anything and has financed every evil activity in the past decades around the world, Grace considers herself already victorious, but she's not done: she wants to turn her genius daughter Jemma into a perfect version of herself, with no feelings getting in the way of what she wants but still the same intelligence and creativity, which means that simply operating on her brain to remove her ability to feel guilt and love would be impossible due to complication that would likely make Jemma 'less efficient'. Jemma has to keep her mind, but said mind should be exactly the way Grace wants it to be. So while she looks for a solution and she has been working on thoroughly breaking her daughter, Grace has started to at least perfection Jemma's body with surgeries, of making Jemma herself perform them. After years of experimentation, using her youngest daughter Cat, that Grace had Jemma raise, as leverage (every year Jemma had to choose if still be experimented on or let her sister be the new victim, and every year Jemma chose herself), SHIELD found Jemma; back then Grace's role in Roxxon was more hidden, but after Jemma's rescue it was clear that while her daughter felt no loyalty towards Roxxon, they didn't have the power to destroy the whole organization, much less take down the Simmons family, and SHIELD had to decide what to do with the sixteen years old. Fury felt pity for the girl, but also saw the potential, and since Grace had clearly no interest in SHIELD, not considering it a threat, they kept Jemma as their agent, hiding of course classified information from her. Grace allowed Jemma to be in SHIELD, not needing her home anymore and well aware that she could ask Jemma to do anything for her sister, and that her daughter believes her to be invincible and has no hope when it comes to her. Jemma didn't even know about Roxxon itself, she simply thought her mother and father worked for some evil laboratory, and that was why she accepted SHIELD's deal not to tell anyone about her situation, just try to leave a normal life while she still could. Her friendship with Fitz was an unexpected source of strength that her mother didn't see coming, since she doesn't understand the power of human relationships, she simply knows it and finds ways to use it, but Jemma kept the secret because she believed Fitz wouldn't be in danger even if he was her friend. She'd say she trusted SHIELD to finish the job some day, when possible, and that if they hadn't yet it's probably because her family is so rich and powerful that it's impossible to win in court, but deep down she already feels there is something very wrong going on and that there is no hope. In season 2 that Coulson got the toolbox and found out what Fury and May already knew, Jemma's past abuse and situation, but also the intel they have on Roxxon, how her mother can't be brought down yet because if she dies, as a failsafe bombs will go off all over the country, how she has illimited intel on everyone and everything and won't hesitate going after people's families, or talking people into doing things that will leave them destroyed, and he had to warn Jemma about all of this, since with the fall of SHIELD and the rise of Hydra everything was now up in the air and Jemma had to choose for herself. Jemma couldn't go undercover in Hydra because of this or she'd be too noticeable, as the daughter of Grace, and since she wanted to stay away from Fitz, for more than a reason, she started training to be an operative and went on missions as much as possible but also tried to find the right moment and way to explain the truth about her past and make sure he wouldn't endanger himself for her anymore. Depending on the verse/situation, since she obsessed over Ward and tried to find everything on his backstory, she can either hate him even more out of fear that in her future she'll betray the team just like him and end up in the same vault, or feel empathy and like she can relate. It's also up to her if to tell her team about her family or not, and how. To her, it still seems safer to not say anything unless she has to, so no one will try to be a hero and fight them for her, which would result in their deaths or worse. She's aware that one day, any day, her mother might call her and ask her to do something she can't refuse, or simply take her back home for more experiments and 'enhancements'. That also definitely put a 'nothing can ever happen' label on all romantic relationships, which was there even before she knew about Roxxon, and after finding out just how powerful her family is, and not only a problem for her but for everybody, she's not sure friendship should be in her future either, but at the same time she feels she owes people the truth and yet that she has to protect them from it. Potential Deathlok Jemma in s2 or at least she'll be in need of prosthetics at some points. Potential 'attempt to offer Jemma to Hive' in s3 Potential Evil LMD Jemma after s4, who will be given to her mother by Ivanov and be the closest thing to a 'perfect' Roxxon Jemma, ruthless, partly detached from reality, sadistic, wants to win at everything, feels no care for anything whatsoever except her mother.

#about jemma page #about jemma page for mobile #about page for mobile #about page

2 notes · View notes