#i drew this last night cus im really scared

[soshrimped]

2025

[samcrobae]

Godless

A Happy Imagine to “Godless” by Banks

“Im into the darkness

That you feel, a worse divine

Cus I felt the power when I laid down by your side”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aren’t sure when it happened, all you knew was that you were head over heels in love with him. You had spent just about every night of the last 6 months with the only man who could keep you safe, who made you feel powerful, sexy, wanted, sure. Happy Lowman. His laugh was enough to make your heart skip a beat, his voice enough to send shivers down your spine. And nothing could compare to the fire that coursed through your veins when he was inside you.

You were the only woman, besides his mother, who made Happy feel at ease. He was a stone cold killer to the world, but when he was with you, he was the most gentle human. He took care of you, played with your hair, protected you. Opened up to you. Samcro knew you needed him but they also knew he needed you so much more.

Today, something was different. He woke up, you sleeping peacefully on his chest. Usually he was careful to leave the bed and not wake you. Today, he quickly got up, got dressed, and began putting his boots on. You turned to ask “Hey baby, where you goin?” “I gotta go.” He didn’t even bother to look over his shoulder.

“Okay, where?”

“Since when is it your business where I go Y/N” he never told you anything about the club. His whereabouts when he wasn’t with you. Anything he did tell you was on a need to know basis and he always limited the information to “keep you safe.”

You furrowed your brows. “Okay... well.. you’re still coming by later right?”

He stood up, threw on his leather, kissed your forehead and left. You sighed heavily then got up and started your day.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“If your love was ever mine

It would stay with me tonight

I’m praying.. praying”

6 days went by and you hadn’t heard a word from Happy. You were starting to worry. This wasn’t how he was with you. He would usually text you through the day, check in. Now he was ignoring your texts. Rejecting your calls. You knew his past. Who he was. What he did, what he does. You accepted it. You never asked questions. You weren’t sleeping, mindlessly going through your workdays, you felt empty, confused, mostly scared. Did something happen? Did he not want you anymore? What did you do? Why is he avoiding you? You were snapped from your thoughts by your cell phone ringing . You ran for your phone, hoping then name you so desperately needed to see would appear. You let out a groan when you saw the name.

“Hey Gem.”

“Hey sweetheart. Listen. I won’t keep you. But uhhh we need you to get to the clubhouse.”

You swallowed hard “Gemma... is it Happy? Is something wrong?”

“Happys fine. I’ll explain when you here. Just pack a bag.”

You hung up the phone, grabbed a duffel and packed a bag. You never asked questions. You grab your keys, get in the car and head to TM.

You pull into the lot, gates closing behind you. No one was out, garage shut. You make your way to the entrance when Chucky opened the door “madame.” And he bowed and moved to the side to let you in. Looking around you see the clubhouse full of people. Gemma approaches you and reaches out to hug you.

“Hey baby.”

“Gemma what’s going on? Where’s Happy?”

“Not here, kitchen.” She leads you to the kitchen and you follow. She turns to face you. “Shit went south with the Irish. Jax called. We’re on lockdown.”

You took a minute to process.. “the Irish? What? Wait a lockdown ?” Gemma looked at you, as if to question if you really didn’t know what she meant. “No one is getting in or out of those gates. And if you leave, you take one of the prospects with you. It’s too dangerous. Which is why you can’t stay at your place.”

“Okay but Gemma why am I here? I’m not a threat. I wouldn’t say anything.” “Sweetheart you’re here because Happy told me to get you here. He wanted you safe. We’re in the thick of it here baby. He would never be able to forgive him if something happened to you. That man loves you Y/N.”

You purse your lips. “Yeah okay coulda fooled me. He’s been MIA for a week now. Not returning my calls, my texts. Hasn’t been by. He just left one morning and I haven’t seen him since.” Gemma smirked. “It’s what he does. What they all do. Shit gets bad they shut you out. The less you know the better. The further you are the safer it is. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with being an old lady. This is just part of the life. How you handle it will tell him all he needs to know. He needs to know you can hold it down if he’s not around. If you love Happy, you learn to love the club and move around the things that come with it”. She kisses your cheek and turned to leave the kitchen.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You don’t believe in one divine

But can you tell me you believe in mine?

Cus you been my God, my God

And when you’re gone, I’m Godless”

He stopped by your place on the way back to the clubhouse. He has been gone 9 days and he needed you. They had come back from a run that got more bloody than they intended. He wasn’t sure if went to the clubhouse per Gemmas Instructions but he needed to see you. Make sure you were safe. Jax went with him. Just in case. He walked up the stairs to your apartment but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw your door knob shot off and your door wide open. “Hap- we don’t know if she was here” happy didn’t hear him. His heart was in his feet, breathing out of control and he was seeing red. He drew his gun and slowly crept in. Apartment trashed, drawers emptied and thrown about. Lamps and mirrors broken.

“Jesus Christ.” Jax whispered. “Hap look let me call Gemma- HAP!” Happy ran out of the apartment and down the stairs. “Shit.” He followed his brother and they sped to TM. You were cleaning up your dorm when you heard the familiar rumble of his bike. Your heart stopped and you ran to the front. You saw him. Happy threw the door open a crazed look in his eyes. He scanned the room til his eyes finally met yours. Everyone watched as he ran straight to you. You froze in place not knowing what to do.

“You say you don’t believe in love

But can you tell me you been thinking of us

Cus you been my god, my god, and when you’re gone I’m godless”.

Happy pulled you by your wrist and into his chest. Everyone watched in silence. They have never seen Happy so delicate, so vulnerable. “Baby. I’m sorry. Are you okay? I saw your apartment.” You looked at happy, “My apartment? What happened to my apartment ?”

Happy, now cupping your face in his hands “they knew who you were, where to find you. I’m so glad you’re safe.” He gently kisses your lips, hands tangling in your hair. “I love you little girl.” Jax looks at Chibs “I didn’t know he was capable of loving someone..”

“Happy. I love you. Don’t shut me out anymore okay? If we are going to do this, you can’t do that to me anymore. I was so afraid something happened to you. I need you. Please don’t leave me like that ever again.” You reach up to kiss his lips.

“Oh come on guys get a roooom!” Tig shouts from across the room.

Happy pulls away from you and smiles . “Yes I will.” And throws you over his shoulders. You let out a yelp. “Happy Lowman!” He laughs as he carries you to his dorm.

———————————-

[skiasurveys]

sex sex sex sex.

1. What’s your favorite position and why? i like doggy style a lot because i dont know it just feels really great and its pretty dominating..but i also like missionary but its boring but i like it when i want to feel “romantic”. lmao.

2. How did you lose your virginity? If you’re still a virgin, is there any specific reason?  I lost my virginity at 19. Basically I was preparing to bang my boyfriend ( my current one!) but I was super nervous ( I already had some trauma from the past). I was scared and stuff and so we tried and I was like Idk man im scared. Then later that night we just started to kiss and make out and he asked if I wanted to try again and I said sure so I got naked blah blah, I was sitting on him kissing hm and then bam he fucked me but it felt really awesome and nice, didn’t hurt because he was slow at it and then he fucked me from behind after i got used to it lol. Great times. That was like a year ago!

3. If you could have sex with any porn star or model, who would it be?  i dont know any porn stars and im not attracted to any models either.

4. What’s one thing in particular that makes you want to tear off your lover’s clothes? Sometimes if he looks at me a certain way or if were doing something . Or if he starts touching my thighs and/or kissing my neck 

5. Five turn ons. 1. Strong looking/masculine 2.Taller than me but no taller than 6′3 3. kissing my neck. 4. man handeling me (without being too aggressive).5. showing me off ( Not like “OH LOOK WHAT I HAVE” but being proud you have me. 6. Five turn offs. 1. Being an asshole. 2.Acting like you don’t care about me when youre around others. 3.Racist/sexist/etc 4.Creepy. 5.Hating my friends

7. Have you had any embarrassing sexual experiences?   its so embarrassing.. so I had just finished my period ( OR so i thought) and we started to fuck and it was going well.. after we finished he was like “Um i think you still have your period.” and Im like “what?” and yeah there was blood on his dick and I legit ran and cried in the bathroom like a little bitch LOL. He came after me and said it was fine and that hes done more awkward shit but DUDE...

8. Do you have a fetish? not really. I like calling my boyfriend daddy in the bedroom but i dont like the ddlg fetish at all. 

9. Have you experimented with anyone of the same sex?  no 10. What’s “out of bounds” for you during sex?  Choking, or tying me up, or like bondage stuff. I just have a severe panic attack if that happens and I dont like it and I had trauma so its actually triggering.

11. What’s the best sexual unsolicited advice you can give?  Just dont fuck them if youre not ready. 

12. Hickies - get ‘em or give ‘em? both

13. Do you like giving head? im that weird girl who actually enjoys sucking cock

14. Do you like getting head? yes 

15. What’s one thing you look for in a partner?  loyalty and companionship. 

16. How many partners have you had?  1 and im still with him :)

17. What’s your sexual orientation? Straight

18. If you’re bi/pansexual, what gender do you tend to prefer? n/a

19. Describe the best sex you’ve ever had.  Theres a few. It usually is when he goes hardcore with teasing me and kissing me. One time he was kissing me and teasing me. He ate me out for a bit which was amazing, and the he kissed me from my tummy to my lips, and he fucked me hard but slow and said I love you which was awesome. But i also had one where He was teasing me and doing lots of foreplay and he told me he owned me and that he wanted all of me and then he fucked me so good. especially when he cums inside me. MMMMM.

20. Describe the worst sex you’ve ever had. It wasnt bad but I just have depression and sometimes it hits me when were fucking and  i lost my sex drive and just didnt care and it didnt last that long but i lied i orgasmed so he could finish because i wasnt feeling it lol

21. Have you ever had a funny sexual experience? What was it? i dont know. Im sure. 22. Are you okay with rough sex?  Yess just not too rough ok!

23. How big was the biggest dick you’ve ever seen? Was it in a porn or in real life? well i mean guys in porn always have huge dicks but my boyfriend is the only one Ive had and he is pretty big.

24. Boobs or ass - which is better? ass. 25. Do you prefer sex or masturbation? sex i hate masturbating.

26. Describe how you usually masturbate. ill leave that for your imagination. 

27. Do you like tattoos on a partner or do you like them to have a clean slate, skin wise?  i dont care. either or.

28. How do you feel about daddy dom/little girl roleplaying? some people go a little too far with it. Like for example actually acting like they are 4 years old in public. You can leave it to the bedroom, please.

29. What’s your fantasy?  pay off my student loans.

30. Do you have any sexual regrets? no

31. When did you last have sex? april 1st before Connor moved! He will be back in the end of May or start of June so it will be a while before we have sex again :(

32. When did you last masturbate? last night

33. Have you had anal? yeah. Its ‘ight. 

34. Do you like to spank/be spanked?  i like to be spanked.

35. What do you want done to you right now?  well since  I havent seen my boyfriend in like a month i would love it for him to just push me against a wall. mmm.

36. Are you comfortable with getting tied up? no

37. Did you have sex in high school? nope. No one really liked me back then. I had like 2 boyfriends then and it was shitty then. I met Connor the fall after i graduated. Hilarious.

38. How old were you when you lost your virginity? How long has it been? 19 years old and its been a year now.

39. Do you like teasing or would you rather get straight to the point? teasing.

40. Sexting or phone sex?  ive done both. sexting is fun but phone sex can be pretty hot. I just dont like phone sex..i rather sext tbh

41. Have you had sex in any interesting places? One time we were hanging at our friends place and everyone had gone to bed and Connor was cuddling me on their couch and he said , “ I bet its just bothering you that you cant touch me” and im like whatever idc and then hes like “lets lowkey fuck” so we fucked on their couch while they were sleeping! It was pretty fun but nervous cus if someone walked out. oh god..and then we fucked behind a couch like 3 times while there was a party going on. cool.

42. Are you sexually active?  i guess so. since he moved its hard to say but its only for short time.

43. Have you had car sex? no our car is too small for that. but i want to.

44. Have you ever had sex with anyone else in the location you were at? (i.e., while your sister was in the other room) yes..see above

45. Why aren’t you fucking anyone right now? well the only person i would fuck is in a nother city obvs so thats why.

46. Are you able to have emotionless sex? not rly

47. Does penis size really matter? yes

48. What has been your most memorable experience sexually? theres a lot

49. If male, are you well endowed? n/a

50. If female, what’s your breast size?  34 B cup.

51. Have you ever been the other person? no

52. Have you ever cheated on anyone?  no!

53. Describe an orgasm.  i just felt really weird and shakey but it felt so good.

54. What’s the longest time you’ve had sex for? I dont really keep count.

55. What’s the shortest time you’ve had sex for?  like 5 minutes. -___-

56. If you could change the person you lost your virginity to, would you?  no

57. Have you had any pregnancy scares? Yeah kinda. my one period didnt come once and i was so scared. I bought like 3  sticks.

58. Are you comfortable naked?  kinda. Ive been with Connor for a year now and I still feel awkward naked. lol

59. Are you comfortable sending pictures of yourself to others? depends.

60. What’s your sexual comfort zone like?just dont do rape play.

61. What’s something sexual that you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up liking?  i cant think of anything

62. Do you have any piercings in fun places? (i.e., clit, nipples, dick) no

63. Would you say you’re good in bed?  i think so.

64. How do you get sex tips? internet or i ask him how he wants me to do something. like i ask him if he likes what im doing and he will tell me how he wants it.

65. Have you ever had sex with anyone while they were on their period? Have you ever had sex while on your period?  no except that one time when i thought i was fkn done but i wasnt. kill myself.

66. If you could be the other sex for a day, would you and what would you do first? idk.

67. What’s your favorite part about being the gender you are? I dont know really. I can buy cute drinks without looking dumb?

68. Slow but passionate, or fast, furious, and kinky? slow but passionate. But also depends on the mood or whatever because sometimes i want rough, sometimes i don’t.

69. Have you ever 69’d? Did you enjoy it?  yes but it feels too good to suck him while hes eating me out.

70. Have you ever done drugs and then had sex?  weed

71. Have you ever had sex with someone you’re in love with? yes

72. How are you with BDSM? Would you ever engage in it?  nope.

73. Do you like gagging on cock/having someone gag on your cock? Why?  i love gagging on his cock.

74. When it comes to oral, are you gentle? Do you use your hands too? gentle. i dont want to hurt him but if i do go hard kinda. and yeah i used my hands.

75. Okay, how do you feel about handjobs?  sometimes i do hand jobs but its only when im making him hard. Lol.

76. Have you had any unwanted pain during sex? yeah.

77. What is something that’s not sexual that can turn you on more than anything sexual?  arms? 78. Can your sexual partners be categorized by their zodiac signs? no

79. Have you had sex to music? What’s your favorite sex song? we fucked to Wish you were here by Pink Floyd.

80. What’s something you want to try in bed?  i dont know.

81. Has anyone drew blood from you during sex, whether it was by cutting, biting, or scratching? How did you feel about that? no. if there was blood from biting/scratching/etc i would feel awful.

82. Have you ever fucked someone who was sad? Did it help them emotionally or make it worse? I have fucked him when he was sad and it helped and same for me sometimes it makes me feel way better.

83. Do you like sexual anons? no

84. What’s your ideal round of sex?  i dont know.

85. Do you like the use of whipped cream, handcuffs, chocolate, and cherries?  nope.

86. Have you ever been walked in on or caught?  almost got caught.

87. Have you ever had sex in public? Would you? yes and i would.

88. What’s a good sex joke?  i dont know. 89. Do you like to be called a dirty slut or would you rather be treated like royalty?  i love it when he calls me a slut but theres a time and place during sex when i want to be slutty and then loved LMAO.

90. Are you more submissive or dominant? sub 91. What’s your naughtiest secret? i almost fucked a 33 year old when i was 18.

92. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve encountered sexually?  i cant think of anyting

93. Have you ever “stuck your dick in crazy”? Was there a lesson learned?

94. Do you like playing with balls/having someone play with yours? i like playing with them because he loves it. 

95. What’s the best nonsexual feeling?  feeling safe and loved by them.

96. Do you like feet? ew 97. Do you look at rule 34/hentai? ew....

98. Pick a random question off this survey for yourself. N/A 99. Who’s your ideal sexual partner? MY BOYFRIEND.

100. Do you have a partner right now? Would you like one? have my boyfriend :) 101. Are you accepting “applications” for a partner?  um no