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#i dont want to make you uncomfortable tho so yessss keep talking to me bc i haveee
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I think the way I talk to people should considered a form of sel.fharm
#like yes this conversation you brought up will stress me out greatlyyyyy#i dont want to make you uncomfortable tho so yessss keep talking to me bc i haveee#been taught not to make anyone uncomfortable or else they will leave me forever <3333#i will simply just become a blank slate of a human dw abt my thoughts and feelings at all just keep talkin abt shit that freaks me out <333#uuhghghhghhh#being a people pleaser Wins Again lol#i am not allowed 2 have negative emotions ever or else it will come back 2 bite me in the ass specifically#the double standard of someone telling me how much they wanna kill themselves in great detail#but the Moment i am like 'hey im having a little bit of a hard time lately-' its fucking Radio Silence#i will b there to support people until the end of the esrth but the SECOND i need some in return everyone is like#''we r just <3333 giving u space <333 and if u get mad at us for abandoning u <33 u r a bad person bc we were Only Trying 2 Help'#like nah thats not it#i say one (1) thing and its like. ok. activating Givng You Space mode#im fucking allergic to that term now i hate it so goddamn much#like unless i straight up say 'hey maybe dont send me things bc its overwhelming' (i never will. why would i say that. like. ever.#if i get overwhelmed i just turn off notifs and come back to it later like ???? thats a thing u can do fun fact.)#but nahhhh everyone is like. 'nope i am going 2 abandon you in your time of need despite everything you do for me <33 hope this helps ^_^'#anyway. lol.#before anyone has the fucking audacity to tell me 'younneed to go to therapy'#i fucking know ^_^#im on. the waiting list for in person appointments so hopefully ill wanna kill myself less when that happens lmao
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myheart-elsewhere · 6 years
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5/4/18 || 12am
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? mikayla <3 2. Are you outgoing or shy? somewhere inbetween 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? mikayla!! 4. Are you easy to get along with? yes 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? definitely 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? my girl. but if we’re talking in a general sense, then people with good and positive vibes. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? maybe, with my girl.  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? well i guess the singer of the song im currently listening to haha 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? depends who im talking about it with 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my baby 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “i know you’re asleep, but i can’t stop thinking about you. i love you so much” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? playinwitme - kyle & kehlani, one kiss - dua lipa, is there somewhere - halsey, this side of paradise - coyote theory, and psycho - post malone & ty dolla sign. 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? love it, mostly when my baby does it. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? i do. 15. What good thing happened this summer? last summer, i got to see my best friend for the first time in 2 years. i also got to see a lot of my ohio family who i missed very much. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes yes yes yes yes yes forever plesase 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? i don’t 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? occasionally 19. Do you like bubble baths? yessss 20. Do you like your neighbors? um i don’t really know them lol 21. What are you bad habits? overthinking 22. Where would you like to travel? new york!! 23. Do you have trust issues? yes 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? talking to my girl 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? either my skin as a whole, or my stomach. 26. What do you do when you wake up? check my phone 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker, but i kinda like my skin tone 28. Who are you most comfortable around? liv 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yes lol 30. Do you ever want to get married? in the future with the right person, yes 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? lauren jauregui and camila cabello 33. Spell your name with your chin. cak,k,ui 34. Do you play sports? What sports? currently, none. when i was younger i danced, did gymnastics, was a cheerleader, and played soccer. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? without tv for sure 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yes  37. What do you say during awkward silences? “sooooo” or just awkwardly laugh 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? my dream girl is my girl now :) 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? charlotte russe!! 40. What do you want to do after high school? undecided. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? for the most part. but giving them another chance doesnt mean you should trust them again. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? i’m probably sad 43. Do you smile at strangers? always 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? oof neither 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? when i get hungry or need a drink lol or if i need to get ready to go somewhere 46. What are you paranoid about? losing my girl 47. Have you ever been high? kinda 48. Have you ever been drunk? yes 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? i don’t think so  50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? light pink <3 51. Ever wished you were someone else? yessss 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my skin. 53. Favourite makeup brand? too faced and tarte 54. Favourite store? target 55. Favourite blog? i don’t have one 56. Favourite colour? maroon, rose gold, black, and recently yellow. 57. Favourite food? sushi 58. Last thing you ate? takis 59. First thing you ate this morning? the first thing i had today was in the afternoon and it was a smoothie 60. Ever won a competition? For what? yes, many. too many to list and they were when i was young and im too lazy to think of all them lol 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? yes. for “lying” to a police officer basically. 62. Been arrested? For what? ive almost been arrested a couple times, but no. 63. Ever been in love? yes. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? it was with a girl at a church lmfao 65. Are you hungry right now? no 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i dont have tumblr friends lol 67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? oof both 69. Are you watching tv right now? no 70. Names of your bestfriends? liv, mikayla, hailey, and jamie 71. Craving something? What? my girl’s presence  72. What colour are your towels? we have a lot of colors 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? like 7 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yesss 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? too many. probably around 35. i only sleep with a couple tho. 75. Favourite animal? dogs and white tigers 76. What colour is your underwear? currently, maroon 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla..... if it’s flavors we’re talking about. ;) 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? oreo cheesecake 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? white 80. What colour pants? black 81. Favourite tv show? dynasty, catfish, the fosters, pll, and ridiculousness  82. Favourite movie? the other woman, spring breakers, and the 50 shades movies 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? karen 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dory 87. First person you talked to today? my babygirl 88. Last person you talked to today? ^my babyyyyy (first and last everyday<3) 89. Name a person you hate? i don’t think i truly hate anyone. 90. Name a person you love? mikayla. 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? oof yes 92. In a fight with someone? rn, no lol 93. How many sweatpants do you have? like 6 pairs 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? hm maybe 8 idk 95. Last movie you watched? he’s just not that into you 96. Favourite actress? jennifer lawrence 97. Favourite actor? i don’t think i have one  98. Do you tan a lot? hell no 99. Have any pets? yes a dog 100. How are you feeling? happy 101. Do you type fast? yes very 102. Do you regret anything from your past? oh yeah 103. Can you spell well? yes 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so, thankfully 107. Have you ever been on a horse? yesss 108. What should you be doing? probably school lmao or sleeping 109. Is something irritating you right now? i don’t think so 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yes. 111. Do you have trust issues? already asked this, yes. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? mikayla 113. What was your childhood nickname? calli or cal, which it still is haha 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes 115. Do you play the Wii? occasionally 116. Are you listening to music right now? yes. my fav playlist. 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes 118. Do you like Chinese food? yes fav 119. Favourite book? fanfiction lol 120. Are you afraid of the dark? outside, yes. inside, no. 121. Are you mean? no 122. Is cheating ever okay? NO.  123. Can you keep white shoes clean? depends on how much i care about them. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? idk 125. Do you believe in true love? yes 126. Are you currently bored? kinda 127. What makes you happy? my baby 128. Would you change your name? yes.  129. What your zodiac sign? gemini 130. Do you like subway? yes, love 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell them sorry bc im gay and have a girl. 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my baby, once again another question i answered lol 133. Favourite lyrics right now? i have so so so many, but the first ones that came to mind were “you can strip down without showing skin”. 134. Can you count to one million? yes but it would be too time consuming 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? idek 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed 137. How tall are you? 5′1 138. Curly or Straight hair? curly 139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette 140. Summer or Winter? winter 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? october 143. Are you a vegetarian? no 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk 145. Tea or Coffee? tea 146. Was today a good day? yes :) 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? “a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor” 149. Do you believe in ghosts? kinda 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? the closest book to me didn’t have page numbers lol
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