#i dont want to have to reenforce my identity every time i speak. its exhausting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

undertakers-convention · 7 years ago

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god, I just hate gendered nouns so much, like the word boy just turns my fucking stomach. The words man and woman have always weirded me out but these days now that I realized why they make me feel odd, i just can’t not focus on it. Not all the time, but if applied to me then they just make me intensely uncomfortable. I’m not a girl but I think that I would prefer being called a girl over being called a boy. And I do not want to be called a girl, because I’m not one. Being called a boy just makes me aware of the fact that people don’t respect my gender identity. I’m sick of gendered nouns, and because I don’t use they/them pronouns, people just disregard the fact that I talk about how much I hate being called a boy and call me one anyway.

#this wasnt prompted by anything specific rn but ive just been thinking about it a lot lately #like a lot #im done with people not caring about how much i hate it #like the words dude or guy dont bug me. i think of myself as a guy. but to me those arent as heavily gendered #but i dont think of myself as really male-aligned #i spent my whole life being uncomfortable with being gendered and then i finally found out why #and people seemed to respect that but only for a really short time before jsut deciding to disregard my identity in favor of i dunno what #convenience i guess?#the fact that i even have to say im not a boy makes me feel dysphoric #but i know i present more masculine #but i dont present THAT masculine #i figure talking about how i hate gender all the time would like. send the message #but apparently not. and im not comfortable with discussing the fact that im nonbinary every conversation.#i dont want to have to reenforce my identity every time i speak. its exhausting #boy is just not a good word. its ugly #its ugly to me and i never want to hear it again

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