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futurewriter2000 · 4 years ago

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Close Friends - pt. 6

A/N: I got inspired by my dreams for this part and I know it’s a mess but hey, you’re gonna love this mess and I get you back on your toes because now all you can expect is the unexpected , which you don’t know. Hehe. Wait till Remus comes in and the hogsmeade guy. You’re gonna love this.

"You're stealing." you said, grabbing the handmade knitted bracelet from his hands.

He turned around, not letting go of it and turning around with a grin. Both of you stared at each other with a mirrored, smug expression.

"I thought you were evolving, Froggie." you pulled the bracelet to you and he only fell forward, pulling it back to him. He spread his smile into a cheeky grin and narrowed his eyes.

"I'll give it back."

"What pleasure do you get from being a perfectly bred, pure-blood little thief?" you scrunched your nose and pylled the bracelet off him and locked it into your palm.

"Look Twizzlers." he opened his arms and shrugged. "She accidentally lost her grandma's handmade precious bracelet and I am the hero who found it. Once I give it to her, be all humble, she'll love me." he put his palm in front of you, requiring it back.

You leaned back and crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes and waiting for further explenation.

He rolled his eyes, took your arm and pulled you around the corner. He pressed you against the wall and locked you with his palms against the wall, his eyes staring intensly at you.

"James?" you asked, staring at him with wide eyes and feeling extremely confused by his sudden reaction.

He seemed to notice the discomfort he put you in, so he only chuckled and licked his lips. "Dont flatter yourself, Twizzie. I don't fancy you but you know who does? Padfoot does, or as you might know him Sirius Black."

"James..."

"No. Don't James me, (y/n). It's December and Christmas is coming. He has bought you an expensive bracelet, he's always around you, he's hugging you every chance he gets, he looks at you 24/7 and can't look away... And you know what? You know it. You know it and you keep moving away. You keep pushing him away because you do not feel the same for him so stop giving him hope like he has a chance with you because he clearly doesn't. " he was now extremely close, his forehead on yours and his eyes continously gazing into yours. "So who's the lil prick, you've been seeing? - The cologne guy? - Is it the guy from the Hogsmeade- the buzzcut with the apron-"

You cut him off with putting your hands under his jaw and pulled him into a kiss. When your lips crashed together and he couldn't realoze what was happening, all he could do was stare at the girl in front of him until she pulled away, staring back at him with petrified look on her face.

You kept looking at him, waiting for a reaction. His glasses were a bit crooked but you could see quite clearly in his hazel eyes that he had not expected this once in a million. He blinked and that point you knew the wheels in his head started spinning.

But there was only one wheel in his head spinning and that was the taste of your hiney chapstick and your plush lips that left him craving, more or so it let his hormones go wild. He couldn't think straight and before he could realize it, you started appologisin and he started to panic, grabbing you by tge wrist and pulling you back. His hands mirrored what yours did before, placing them under your jaw and crashing his lips into yours. His full body pressed you against the wall and as you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, wet and warm, it traced your teeth and your tongue.

It was your first kiss ever and it felt like heaven and hell colided together into this perfect mass of exhilaration. It was your first kiss and you thought you wouldn't know the first thing about kissing but your body seemed to know how to react because the next thing you knew, your hands were gliding up his chest and grabbing his shirt. Your fingers cramped and you crumbled the fabric into your palms as he continued to lean on you, kissing you so faultlessly.

"James?" both of you heard all of a sudden, coming from the corner.

James pulled away immediately and as breathless as you were, feeling his breath inside of you, filling your lungs- your fluttering heart, you could still see the horror in his hazel eyes.

You turned your head to see who it was and it was no other than his and yours best friend.

And then it hit you. Everything. Everythi g James said, everything Sirius did for you because he was in love with you and you knew it. You knew it for months and you kept avoiding it- and now he was here, looking at the two of you as both of you betrayed him.

His eyes were hollow, broken and filling themselves into an ocean.

"Pads, mate I swear it's not what it looks like-" James started to approach him but Sirius started to back away.

"Shit." you put your hands over your face and rubbed them down, not being able to think clearly.

"You knew." he said to James, shaking his head at him. "You knew and you- you and her-" his voice was shivering and cracking from the lump forming in his throat.

"It just happened right now- I swear mate- (y/n) say it's true, please help!" James turned to you, pleading for him to say him of this betrayal.

You looked up at his eyes that seemed to be just as broken as Sirius'. "You said nothing was happening between the two of you?" he kept looking at James, his heart unable to function properly in his chest.

"I kissed him, Sirius." you turned to the boy that kept distancing himself, shooting his head to you. "Today. Only today I kissed him for the first time and I didn't think before I did it-"

"You're in love with him?" he asked directly, interrupting you and staring.

"No- she can't. We're friends, me and Twiz-"

"I'M NOT ASKING YOU JAMES!" Sirius shouted at him and continued ti stare at you who kept quiet since his questions. "You are, aren't you?" he said and James shot his head to you, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I'm sorry, Sirius-"

"Give it back." he said and your head shot up, noticing he glared down at your wrist. "I want it back and I want it back now- GIVE IT BACK!" he started shouting as you took a hold of it.

"Sirius..." you said, holding up your wrist and pressing it to yourself. "You- I love- I'm sorry!" you keep trying to figure out what to say but nothing reasonable didn't come out.

Sirius didn't listen. He didn't want to listen.he was furious and petty. All he could feel was emptiness and hate for everything and everyone. So he rushed to your side and ripped it off your wrist, leaving a red mark around it.

You felt your heart break, just as his when he left you alone to stand there.

Everything seemed to happen so fast and so unclear. You felt confused, the boy next to you felt confused as well unable to know what had just happened.

But he could see you leaning yourself against thewall until you fell to the floor, holding onto your empty wrist and crying.

He wanted to leave he wanted to chase after his best friend, make it all your fault but he couldn't. He wanted to but something wouldn't let him just leave you. It almlst felt immoral if he did.

So instead of being the usual selfish self, he turned to your aid and picked you up. "Come here- let me see." he said, taking your hand to see the bruise.

He was furious. He was confused and he did want to shout and yell at yoy for being so reckless but there was a voice in the back of his head saying 'You kissed her back. You let it happen.' and he couldn't deny himself that.

"Is it bad-"

"I'm so sorry, James!" you sobbed, knowing how disgusting you must have looked right now with yoyr fat tears wetting yoyr cheeks and clotges, your runny nkse doing just the same. "Im so sorry! James, I'm so sorry-"

He pulled you into his embrace and pressed your head to his chest, shushing you quietly. He didn't know what to say. You kept doing and saying things he is not prepared for and that is making him act completely out of his character.

He pulled away, cupping your cheeks and smiling. "What are you sorry for, Twizzies?" he wiped the tears with his thumbs and kissing your forehead. "Kissing me?" he asked, looking at you softly and putting your hair away from your forehead. "I loved the kissing."

You looked up at him, feeling so desperately in love with him as you did back in second year that you yourself were speechless. "You did?" you asked and he nodded, making you smile.

"I just didn't expect it, that's all." he shrugged, sitting next to you and leaning his head on the wall.

"I thought you knew?" you looked at him and he did the same.

"Knew what?"

"That I'm in love with you. I thought it was obvious."

James didn't believe the words that were coming out of your mouth. He couldn't. He leaned his heas back on the wall and looked up at the ceiling, smiling. "I used to say you were so dense to not see Sirius' feelings towards you meanwhile I was so dense to nkt see yours." he turned his head to you, smiling but not really knowing why. "I thought you liked him back. The two of you were always so close."

"I wanted to make you jealous but you just didn't care." you shrugged, wiping the runny nose into your sleeve.

"I cared." he said before he could think,surprising himself as well. "At first I was like... You and Sirius? - And I thought you'd be just another of his exes but you never did and I-" he stopped himself, looking away and feeling extremely guilty to say what he wanted to say. "I denied you and me."

"What?"

"I knew there was something- chemistry and all but you were for Sirius. He loves you so much more than I do. I couldn't do this to him." he hung his head between his knees and let out a scoff. "And I still did it." he ahook it and leaned it back on the wall.

You observed his movements, feeling confident enough to ask him any question. "Did you ever think of me?"

He turned his head to you and stayed silent. "At first... When you and Sirius started hangong out, I wanted to ask you out again and I thought about you and me for a long time before I realized that it's wrong. But you were always there, with us, and it was hard moving on but I did and I said I want Lily. " he continued to speak but still felt like he was lying to himself.

"Do you still want her?" you asked. "And be honest- I can deal with you being in love with her. Just tell me the truth."

"Honestly?" he asked, turning his eyes back to you. "Honestly, I think you and me would be a great couple. Honestly, I always found you so attractive, fun and Merlin-such an amazing personality. Honestly, I would die to get a second date with you but... If I have to choose between you and Sirius, I'd-"

"-choose Sirius." you finished for him as he nodded.

"I can't feel these things for you. I can't. I have to feel them for someone else-"

"Lily."

"Yes, her. We can't (y/n)." he stood up as you watched him. "I can't do this to Sirius."

"And I can't be with Sirius when I am clearly in love with you." you stood up as well,standing behind him as he wanted to walk away.

"Why? Why can't you be with him?!" he turned around.

"Because I don't love him!" you shouted back. "I love him... But not the way he wants me to."

"He's my brother and (y/n)... He won't choose you and neither will I." he said before turning you his back and walking away.

Walking... And not turning back.

#sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius #sirius black x reader #james potter imagine #james #james potter x reader #james potter

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seblore · 4 years ago

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everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

#obviously i have not listened to the two delux songs yet so yeah <3 #im sorry about this i have neither proofread this nor do i think this makes any sense </3 #also i just realized i swore alot in this.... its that kind of a year huh ;D #anyways tysm anon for your eagerness for MY rant on evermore <3 truly honored #have a great day ilyy #answered 🗣#evermore era

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legion1993 · 6 years ago

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Christmas Role Reversal

A/N: this is #3 of 3 stories for @kittenofdoomage for her christmas challenge!! i look for ward to your thoughts on all 3 of these stories... yes i know they are early but its gonna be beneficial in the end for both of us...

title: christmas role reversal

prompt: opening gifts

square filled: role play

pairing: Sam x Reader

word count

created for @spnkinkbingo

kink masterlist masterlist

christmas time is the one time of the year where you get together with loved ones exchange gifts maybe even do something crazy...

everyother year had been so calm well except one year when Sam and Dean almost got eaten by pegan gods... but this year you & Sam had decided to go take down a witch who was cursing people to live their worst fears...

Sam: "i know hunting round Christmas is not ideal but this witch needs to be stopped... dont worry we will still do gifts... it just wont be at the bunker..."

Y/N: "i know but still i had it all planned out but now it wont get to be done at all..."

Sam knew you liked Christmas cause it reminded you of the day you got rescued by himm and Dean after your families house was demonically taken over with your family trapped inside and you asleep at your work desk in your room...

your family never survived but you did... so you always over did what you and your family did for christmas.

hunting was always in your life, but that day you lost your family, hunting became your whole life...

Sam: "dont worry i had something planned too but it will all work out in the end you will see. plus its december 23rd if we can vanquish this witch by mid day tomorrow than we can be home in time for christmas."

there was a hotel to the right of you guys when you got into town you parked there and went to get checked in and settled...

now in the room you plotted your course for this witch but the witch knew you and sam would be coming into town she had already laid her trap...

tonight you & sam laid down to rest, for tomorrow both of you would learn what its like to be the other person for 1 day...

it would be 8 hours exactly later when you both woke again only to hear the sound of your phone ringing... you reached for it with your eyes closed and answered it...

Y/N (in Sams body): "hello"

you said with a groan at the end of that making a pause between remarks...

Dean(over the phone): "good morning sunshine this witch you guys are hunting her name is meridi, she loves to make people live their worse fears but there is something else she also loves screwing with hunters especially if she knows they are coming ahead of time... she is psychic.. are you guys ok?."

you finally open your eyes but your staring at your own form... immediately you screamed...

Y/N: "That witch is dead so dead... she switched me and Sam..."

Dean: "what like she body swapped you guys..."

Y/N: "yes now dean if you dont mind i have to wake up Sam so we can go and kill this witch..."

you hung up the call with Dean and kissed the top of your bodies forehead watching your body stirs and hearing sam groan from your body...

Sam screamed as he sat u pool in your body making sure he wasnt still dreaming...

Sam: "Y/N why am i in your body looking at my own body..."

Y/N: "cause its that witch she cursed us Sam i just spoke to Dean who finds this wildly funny by the way... the spell initially should wear off by it self or we could just kill the witch bitch and be done with it..."

Sam: "kill her thats why we are here in the first place... but now we need to sound and act like eachother..."

for the next hour and a half you and Sam did some role play to make yourselves sound and act like eachother...

Sam (in your body): "i cant believe that witch placed me in my own girlfriends body..."

Y/N (in Sams body): "i cant believe it either, but dont worry once we kill her we will turn back to normal... then we can open gifts..."

you and Sam spent the day looking for this witch, find her you did and you tied her up to torture her before killing her...

Y/N (in Sams body): "dont even try to struggle those ropes are bound to you by the power of your own magic.."

witch: "what are you talking about sir who sounds like a miss..."

Y/N (in Sams body): "im talking about us turning you into a nightlight... this is your punishment for tormenting everyone including the body swap you oulled on us..."

that moment you snapped your fingers and she became dead like a nightlight... that moment you and Sam found yourselves back in your own bodies...

Sam: "lets get out of here..."

You both walk back out to the impala, and start back to the hotel, with 10 min left on christmas eve you found yourselves wanting to just exchange gifts now...

getting into the room you both change into something comfortable, you both fall back onto the couch with beers and your gifts...

Sam: "i know its like 2 min till christmas but i cant wait... Y/N from the moment i met you i knew you would be the one to save me, from today forward i Sam Winchester promise to be by your side for whenever and whatever life throws at us... Y/N will you marry me?"

Sam turns to you and opens this small black box that made you squeal with excitement...

Y/N: "yes... my gift doesnt nearly compare to yours..."

you hand Sam this rectangular box and watch him open it...

Sam: "is this a..."

Y/N: "yes its a brand new speedy laptop its alot faster than the one you have now and plus it goes with mine..."

Sam: "i love it and i love you merry christmas babe.."

Y/N: "merry christmas baby!"

#spnkinkbingo #kitten's canon christmas challenge

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natalieongeulin · 6 years ago

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2018

This year has been a roller coaster of a ride. Let me tell you why :)

JANUARY

sleepover with girls. cried alot.

meet up cos lih en was back. just like old times.

post camp appreciation makan.

year 1 sem 2

sick as usual

FEBRUARY

crazy eyelash extensions

cny : a lot of yee sang

surprised audrey for her 20th

MARCH

birthday : sushi and surprises. alot of random but useful crap as gifts, and as usual, late wishes cos no one actually knows/remembers my actual birth date.

went to help subang to disturb rachel’s mpu event w/ audrey

david my love

ballet illuminations : it was alright, not as bad as i remembered from previous years.

annual ball : rewearing old dress, unnecessary drama but a pretty okay night

good friday : was it really good? idk but thanks jesus.

APRIL

visited hope city for the second time : got to see che and kor worship lead and it was magical and i miss watching them so much

sleeping beauty auditions : when you audition for the fairy of grace and serenity but get casted as the evil one instead. they saw right through me.

performed in pavilion (sucked)

kexin’s 21st

study leave : consisted of more dancing than studying i think.

cried alot more

MAY

started working as assistant teacher

finals : needing to study OB while GE14 was going on was STRESSFUL

sem break!!!!!

workshop by Feet Speak Dance

aymerlie’s graduation performance

cousin’s wedding

JUNE

ds company trip to melaka

alot of workshops all at once, body pain for 4 days

pow wow visit w/ stacy, mim, jan and sandra : weird but ok

started working at trinity again

highpointe LIFE’s “so lit” youth conference

taught dance at bright morning star

tds : helped as usher, never again.

JULY

rachel’s 21st

Darkness Poomba by Kim Jae Duk (Performance) : pretty cool with live music, singing and dance. thanks ms wan wan!

walked bukit gasing with evelyn, dhiireen, bryant, reuben and carolyn

first ever ballet photo shoot with chiau ling and siao teng by carolyn

realised i dont think i can be an auditor

melaka with fam

bye suet yi

suddenly took up fundraising again

AUGUST

danced ALOT

met ellum!!!

perth : held a snake for the first time, coldplayyy, had amazing scallops but also planned alot of fundraising ideas there and just wanted to go home 2 days earlier. but hillsong was pretty cool.

vbs choir practice

baked ALOT of cookies

JPCC fundraising : did alot of things.

became carabosse for the first time

SEPTEMBER

year 2 sem 1 (aka sem 3)

jimmy my love

bye evelyn

sleeping beauty (url) (url2) : adrenaline, tired, and alot of makeup

cheese naan (finally)

baby ethan!

adv 2 exam : sucked but passed so yay

OCTOBER

finally started coaching for mibgp (2 months late)

brm and trail mix

new found love for family mart

mpu comm service to Ti Ratana (the kids there were crazy)

matd and trail mix

NOVEMBER

cry cry stress stress dance dance (repeat)

stayed in icity for the first time

brm brm and trail mix (again)

retook fmt cos reasons

HELL WEEK : vbs (proud mom), mibgp (made it to finals, yay but less time to study)

DECEMBER

finals (6am’s, and dieded)

surprising mom for mom and dad’s 30th anniversary

gycamp18

chopped and bleached hair

performed in centro (kk still waiting to get paid haha)

christmas : with tcsjcf cos its tradition, in church cos straight outta bethlehem, and bkt because WHY NOT. (also, dont forget the iconic botanic christmas house)

sabah

been sick since 11 dec till today (1 jan) so thats great.

What else happened?

stayed in cyber (thanks audrey)

sewed many many pointe shoes

hated gm to a new level

didn’t drink enough pu er

got hurt alot but probably hurt others alot too so i deserve it

ate very little ice cream cos i was sick alot of the year

left the worship team - if anyone actually reads this and actually cares, yes, this happened around october. my heart wasnt in the right place and honestly i was really ashamed of it. but now im better than ever and i’m ready to move forward with whatever God wants me to do. it really comes to show that sometimes taking a step back is actually taking a step forward. thanks to those who helped me see that.

No matter how bad this year was, I’m so glad to be alive.

To God be the glory. Forever and always. :)

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witch-of-time-and-letters · 7 years ago

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POESÍA DE CANCIONES EN INGLÉS “THEY FUCK ME THEN BECOME “GENIUS”! BUT NOBODY SAID ME OR HELP ME TO JOIN.

OVerture: someone remember 22th december,

Is there anybody going to listen to my story is all about the girl who came to stay?

She's the kind of girl You want say much, it makes you sorry Still you don't regret a single day

Part. I[PAST ERASED]

I was the foolest timid boy, i just tried to arrive to a new place where i could found everything what i needed years ago, im not their nigga girl turns to White, the sacrifice to all Aliens Gods NO i just a trans girl who survive against everything fighthing with my brain and guts for dignity.

I grew up in a small town and when the rain would fall down, I'd just stare out my window dreaming of what could be and if I'd end up happy. Trying hard to reach out but when I tried to speak out always felt like no one could hear me tried to wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here So I breakaway

I'll spread my wings, and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky and I'll make a wish take a chance, make a change and breakaway, out of the darkness and into the sun

BUT, Hey Dellilah!

Don't want to be an American Idiot,, welcome to a new kind of tension, all across the alienation.

I don't need premition, make my own decisions, why can't I live my life.

Do ya think? Do ya think? Do ya think? And there's nothing wrong with me.

Part. II-CITIE OF DAMNED SOULS-

What an amazing time, what a family, how did the years go by? Now it's only me

They say I'm crazy I really don't care That's my prerogative, They say I'm nasty but I don't give a damn, everybody's talking all this stuff about me, Why don't they just let me live?

Another day, another tale of rape and another ticking bomb to bury deep and detonate. I’m not the only one who finds it hard to understand, I’m not afraid of God

¡I am afraid of injustice!.

Your misery and hate will kill us all .Do you fight it to the end

(Singing to my killers)

Everyone is so full of shit Born and raised by hypocrites

Hearts recycled but never saved From the cradle to the grave

Im forgotten they will sacrifice me for the Jesus of your luxurya

Underneath it all they’re just savages in everyone hidden behind shirts, ties and marriages. How could we expect anything at all? We’re just animals still learning how to crawl.

That disease's growing, it's an epidemic I'm scared that there ain't a cure meanwhile the world believes it and I'm going crazy, I cannot take any more.

My memory will carry on and on i carry through the fears

Do or die

Wont explain or say i'm sorry

They´re from a whole becoming from another world that different dimensión.

Cause my cHips dont lie.

Tell me what’s wrong with society

Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna sell my house? Can anybody tell me what’s going on?

Tell me what’s going on cause If you open your eyes You’ll see that something is wrong.

Part. III: SUICIDAL ACTS.

I. PILLS

Me and my head high and my tears dry my odds are stacked

Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my in don a tiny error

Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

¡Im not their Twisted Trans(gender)istor!

II. BLOOD

But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time

I’m so moving on yeah yeah Thanks to you, now I get what I want

III. WATER

I'll go back to black, we only said (nothing) with words I died a hundred times

Im not your Everybody's fool, I just wanna live and i don't really care about the things that they say i don't really care about what happens to me

IV. THE SILENCE

IM NOT Jesus of (your Luxurya) Suburbia, I come alone and alone Ill die

°°°

Part. IV TO FAKING LOVERS.

He (or She), you’re an alien,

if you loved me, you would be here with me

and I'm sick of the lies, and you're too late.

So don’t bother, me I won’t die of depression, I promise myself won’t ever see me cry

Don’t feel pitty but he’s waiting the ring you gave to his will lose its shine

So don’t bother, be unkind

Part: V. UNHOLY PRAYERS

All my life I've been so lonely

All in the name of my goals

Still, you'd like to think you know me.

In the religion of the insecure I must be myself, respect my youth.

III

¡No, not gonna die tonight Ive gotta stand and fight forever!

I'm not ashamed, I'm gonna show my scars,

How long must I wait? 'Till you learn that it's too late

How long must I cry?'Till you know that i really tried

How long must I try?'Till you learn that my dreaming's hard

How long must you dream?'Till you heal my bleeding soul

Never mind my bleeding soul

Cause London calling, London calling, London is calling with his bridge broken by that fallen pedestal.

VII

And no matter how hard you try

I'll always belong in the sky.

Part: VI AGAINST manly GIRLS VS girly BOYS

¡Im not pretty boy im just a girl not a héroe!

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.

¡Hey you, hey you, devil's little sister!

I don’t mind, let you down easy but just give me time If it don’t hurt now but just wait, just wait a while. Ain't it fun? Living in the real world. Ai'’t it good? Doing all alone

Ain’t it good to be on your own? Ain’t it fun you can't count on no one? Ain’t it good to be on your own? Ain’t it fun you can count on no one? Ain’t it fun? You see it’s easy to ignore trouble when you’re living in your bubble

Chanel this, Chanel that, Chanal that shit hell yeah

(This is how they do)

Santa Marmota, chique, at La Super Rica Mamazota, stealing tacos, checking out jotties since now they talking astrology, getting their nails did, all Japanese-y this goes out to all you people going to bed with a ten and waking up with a zero.

GIRLY IN VISION:

They so gay and they don't even like boys with their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny feets

You're so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal You're so skinny you should super size the deal

Secretly you're so amused That nobody understands you

¡Like it or not, even though she´s a lot like me!

MANLY IN VISION:

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back what happened to the dreams of a girl president?

Where, oh where, have the smart people gone? Oh where, oh where could they be?

They travel in packs of two or three, stupid girls, Push up my bra like that, ¡I don't wanna be a stupid girl!

SEXUS CONVEXUS MEXICANUS.

Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly I'm so lucky boy, Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid faggot!

Pretty would you fuck me boy, silly I'm so lucky girl, Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid lesbian!

¡So fix your eyes and get up! Yes, No's, egos, fake shows

Couldn't take the blame, they are sick with shame must be exhausting to lose your own game selfishly hated, no wonder you're jaded

I'm so glad that I'll never fit in, that will never be me

And after all I’m glad that I’m not their type

Part. VII GNOME KINGSLANDING VS ARROGANTS TALLEST IVARIES.

The knife wants to slit me

You had to have it all, Well have you had enough? You greedy little bastard, You will get what you deserve. When all is said and done, I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become. You think you've won this fight, you've only lost your mind.

When you're gone we want you all to know, I'll carry on and in my heart I cant contain it

¡Land of make believe That don't believe in me, Land of make believe that I don't believe in me and I don't care!

It's me versus everyone else

Part. VIII: CRYING IN THEIR HATE ABYSS.

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading so sick and tired of all the needless beating. Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.

My prerogative: ¡Cause im born this way and im my hair!

How could I have burned Paradise how could I, my dreams were never mine?

I don't love you like I did Yesterday

#aliens #poetryofsong #songs #poemsongs #poem #new age #suicide #depression #true #letters #english poetry #poesiadecanciones #cancionesreales #poetryslam

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amberlovesanimation · 7 years ago

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Open Me Carefully

I recently finished reading the book Open Me Carefully, which is a collection of letters, poems, and letter-poems Emily Dickinson sent to her close friend and sister-in-law, Susan Huntington Dickinson.

I decided to buy it after seeing Emily in a list of historical LGBT+ figures; although we’ll never know if their relationship was romantic or sexual in any way, it is clear from these letters that their connection was very deep on an intellectual and spiritual level.

Of course, as a bisexual female myself, I love to interpret them in a gay way, and below are some extracts that I particularly liked. (alongside my own little commentary now and then, sorry!)

(For some context, both women were born in December 1830)

“I wept a tear here, Susie - on purpose for you - because this “sweet silver moon” smiles in on me and Vinnie, and then it goes so far before it gets to you - and then you never told me if there was any moon in Baltimore - and how do I know Susie - that you see her sweet face at all? She looks like a fairy tonight, sailing around the sky in a little silver gondola with stars for gondoliers. I asked her to let me ride a little while ago - and told her I would get out when she got as far as Baltimore, but she only smiled to herself and went sailing on. I think she was quite ungenerous - but I have learned the lesson and shant ever ask her again.” - October 9, 1851

I LOVE how she describes Nyx the moon in this letter!!

“Will you let me come dear Susie - looking just as I do, my dress soiled and worn, my grand old apron, and my hair - Oh Susie, time would fail me to enumerate my appearance, yet I love you just as dearly as if I was e’er so fine, so you wont care, will you? I am so glad dear Susie - that our hearts are always clean, and always neat and lovely, so not to be ashamed. I have been hard at work this morning, and I ought to be working now - but I cannot deny myself the luxury of a minute or two with you. The dishes may wait dear Susie - and the uncleared table stand, them I have always with me, but you, I have “not always,” why Susie, Christ hath saints manie - and I have few, but thee - the angels shant have Susie - no - no no! [...] Oh my darling one, how long you wander from me, how weary I grow of waiting and looking, and calling for you; sometimes I shut my eyes, and shut my heart towards you, and try hard to forget you because you grieve me so, but you’ll never go away, Oh you never will - say, Susie, promise me again, and I will smile faintly - and take up my little cross again of sad - sad separation. How vain it seems to write, when one knows how to feel - how much more near and dear to sit beside you, talk with you, hear the tones of your voice - so hard to “deny thyself, and take up thy cross, and follow me -” give me strength, Susie, write me of hope and love, and of hearts that endured. [...] Only want to write me, only sometimes sigh that you are far from me, and that will do, Susie! Dont you think we are good and patient, to let you go so long; and dont we think you’re a darling, a real beautiful hero, to toil for people, and teach them, and leave your own dear home? [...] I must leave you now - “one little hour of Heaven,” thank who did give it me, and will he also grant me one longer and more when it shall please his love - bring Susie home, ie! Love always, and ever, and true!” - February 1852

Susan’s daughter Martha said “Her [Emily’s] devotion to those she loved was that of a knight for his lady.”

“Oh Susie, I would nestle close to your warm heart, and never hear the wind blow, or the storm beat, again. Is there any room there for me, or shall I wander away all homeless and alone? Thank you for loving me, darling, and will you “love me more if ever you come home”! it is enough, dear Susie, I know I shall be satisfied. But what can I do towards you? - dearer you cannot be, for I love you so already, that it almost breaks my heart - perhaps I can love you anew, every day of my life, every morning and evening - Oh if you will let me, how happy I shall be! [...] pretty soon I waked up saying “Precious treasure, thou art mine,” and there you were all right, my Susie, and I hardly dared to sleep lest some one steal you away. Never mind the letter, Susie; you have so much to do; just write me every weeks one line, and let it be, “Emily, I love you,” and I will be satisfied!” - February 1852

“dont you go Susie, not to their meeting, but come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells are always ringing, and the preacher whose name is Love - shall intercede there for us!” - February 1852

“And I do love to run fast - and hide away from them all; here in dear Susie’s bosom, I know is love and rest, and I never would go away, did not the big world call me, and beat me for not working. [...] When you come home, darling, I shant have your letters, shall I, but I shall have yourself, which is more - Oh more, and better, than I can even think! [...] Tis only a few days, Susie, it will soon go away, yet I say, go now, this very moment, for I need her - I must have her, Oh give her to me! [...] he [God] is very kind to let me write to you, and to give me your sweet letters, but my heart wants more.” - April 5, 1852

“I have thought of it all day, Susie, and I fear of but little else, and when I was gone to meeting it filled my mind so full, I could not find a chink to put the worthy pastor; when he said “Our Heavenly Father,” I said “Oh Darling Sue”; when he read the 100th Psalm, I kept saying your precious letter all over to myself, and Susie, when they sang - it would have made you laugh to hear one little voice, piping to the departed. I made up words and kept singing how I loved you, and you had gone, while all the rest of the choir were singing Hallelujahs. I presume nobody heard me, because I sang so small, but it was a kind of comfort to think I might put them out, singing of you. I a’nt there this afternoon, tho’, because I am here, writing a little letter to my dear Sue, and I am very happy. I think of ten weeks - Dear One, and I think of love, and you, and my heart grows full and warm, and my breath stands still. The sun does’nt shine at all, but I can feel a sunshine stealing into my soul and making it all summer, and every thorn, a rose. And I pray that such summer’s sun shine on my Absent One, and cause her bird to sing!” - Late April 1852

I joked on twitter about the gay agenda being to sing about missing your girlfriend when everyone else in church is singing hymns. Because of course they talked face-to-face whenever they were together, a lot of the letters were sent when Susan was away, so they’re filled with Emily’s pining for and missing of her. Later in this same letter she describes how she gathered flowers and an acorn and a snail shell to give to Sue once she returned which is absolutely adorable. She continues to gift her flowers throughout her life and in her poems compares both of them to flowers.

“Our last words were of you, and as we said Dear Susie, the sunshine grew so warm, and out peeped prisoned leaves, and the Robins answered Susie, and the big hills left their work, and echoed Susie, and from the smiling fields, and from the fragrant meadows came troops of fairy Susies, and asked “Is it me”? No, Little One, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor can the heart conceive” my Susie, whom I love.” - May 1852

I love how Extra™ Emily is with her romantic analogies in these early letters lmao

“And now how soon I shall have you, shall hold you in my arms; you will forgive the tears, Susie, they are so glad to come that it is not in my heart to reprove them and send them home. I dont know why it is - but there’s something in your name, now you are taken from me, which fills my heart so full, and my eye, too. It is not that the mention grieves me, no, Susie, but I think of each “sunnyside” where we have sat together, and lest there be no more, I guess is what makes the tears come. [...] we shall not be separated, neither death, nor the grave can part us, so that we only love!” - June 1852

“I have but one thought, Susie, this afternoon of June, and that of you, and I have one prayer, only; dear Susie, that is for you. [...] and when I look around me and find myself alone, I sigh for you again; little sigh, and vain sigh, which will not bring you home. I need you more and more, and the great world grows wider, and dear ones fewer and fewer, every day that you stay away - I miss my biggest heart; my own goes wandering round, and calls for Susie [...] Susie, forgive me Darling, for every word I say - my heart is full of you, none other than you in my thoughts, yet when I seek to say to you something not for the world, words fail me; If you were here, and Oh that you were, my Susie, we need not talk at all, our eyes would whisper for us, and your hand fast in mine, we would not ask for language - I try to bring you nearer, I chase the weeks away till they are quite departed, and fancy you have come, and I am on my way through the green lane to meet you, and my heart goes scampering so, that I have much ado to bring it back again, and learn it to be patient, till that dear Susie comes. [...] I add a kiss, shyly, lest there is somebody there!! Dont let them see, will you Susie?” - June 11, 1852

“And very, very often when I have waked from sleep, not quite waked, I have been sure I saw you, and your dark eye beamed on me with such a look of tenderness that I could only weep, and bless God for you. Susie, will you indeed come home next Saturday, and be my own again, and kiss me as you used to? [...] I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you, feel that I cannot wait, feel that now I must have you - that the expectation once more to see your face again, makes me feel hot and feverish, and my heart beats so fast [...] Why, Susie, it seems to me as if my absent Lover was coming home so soon - and my heart must be so busy, making ready for him. While the minister this morning was giving an account of the Roman Catholic system, and announcing several facts which were usually startling, I was trying to make up my mind w’h of the two was prettiest to go and welcome you in, my fawn colored dress, or my blue dress.” - June 27, 1852

“And now, my absent One, I am hoping the days away, till I shall see you home - am sewing as fast as I can, I am training the stems to my flowers, I am working with all my might, so as to pause and love you, as soon as you get home.” - February 24, 1853

“Why dont you write me, Darling? Did I in that quick letter say anything which grieved you, or made it hard for you to take your usual pen and trace affection for your bad, sad Emilie? Then Susie, you must forgive me before you sleep tonight, for I will not shut my eyes until you have kissed my cheek, and told me you would love me. [...] I dont know which it is - I only know that when you shall come back again, the Earth will seem more beautiful, and bigger than it does now, and the blue sky from the window will be all dotted with gold - though it may not be evening, or time for the stars to come.” - March 5, 1853

“Will you write to me - why hav’nt you before? I feel so tired looking for you, and still you do not come. And you love me, come soon - this is not forever, you know, this mortal life of our’s. [...] I’m loving you at home - I’m coming every hour to your chamber door. I’m thinking when awake, how sweet if you were with me, and to talk with you as I fall asleep, would be sweeter still.” - February 28, 1855

“Her breast is fit for pearls, But I was not a “Diver” - Her brow is fit for thrones But I have not a crest, Her heart is fit for home - I - a Sparrow - build there Sweet of twigs and twine My perennial nest.” - 1850s

There’s also a poem that begins “Your - Riches - taught me - poverty!” which is pretty gay too so look that up if you want (it’s too long to type on here).

“for the Woman whom I prefer, Here is Festival - When my Hands are Cut, Her fingers will be found inside - [...] Take the key to the Lily, now, and I will lock the Rose” - 1864

“You must let me go first, Sue, because I live in the Sea always and know the Road - I would have drowned twice to save you sinking, dear, If I could only have covered your Eyes so you would’nt have seen the Water” - 1860s

Then there’s a letter-poem that begins “To miss you, Sue, is power” but again it’s too long so look it up!

“I would have liked to be beautiful and tidy when you came - You will excuse me, wont you, I felt so sick. How it would please me if you would come once more, when I was palatable.” - 1870s

“Susan knows she is a Siren - and that at a word from her, Emily would forfeit Righteousness” - 1876 or later

I love how she compares Susan to a siren, whom we all know is the gayest mythological creature.

“To own a Susan of my own Is of itself a Bliss - Whatever Realm I forfeit, Lord, Continue me in this!” - late 1870s

“Sue - to be lovely as you is a touching Contest, though like the Siege of Eden, impracticable, Eden never capitulates” - 1876 or later

“Susan- I dreamed of you, last night, and send a Carnation to indorse it - Sister of Ophir - Ah Peru - Subtle the Sum That purchase you” - 1876 or later

apparently at this time Emily’s handwriting made her “Y”s look like an “S” so the “you”s in this poem look like “Sou”, or Sue :D

“That Susan lives - is a Universe which neither going nor coming could displace” - spring 1880

“It was like a breath from Gibraltar to hear your voice again, Sue - Your impregnable syllables need no prop, to stand” - early 1880s

“With the Exception of Shakespeare, you have told me of more knowledge than any one living - To say that sincerely is strange praise” - early 1880s

Comparing her to Shakespeare!? Holy shit what a compliment !!

“Perhaps the dear, grieved Heart would open to a flower, which blesses unre- quested, and serves without a Sound.” - early October 1883

Emily sent this to Susan after her seven-year-old son had just died. I think it’s very touching how she tries to cheer her up a bit with a simple flower, as apparently Susan shut herself away for about a year after the death, so clearly words weren’t the biggest comfort to her.

“One of the sweetest Messages I ever received, was, “Mrs Dickinson sent you this Cardinal Flower, and told me to tell you she thought of you.” Except for usurping your Copyright - I should regive the Message, but each Voice is it’s own” - 1880s

“The tie between us is very fine, but a Hair never dissolves. Lovingly” - late 1885

Emily had fallen ill around this time so I think the tie being fine is because of the possibility of death, which she believed could not take away their love.

#and that's just a few extracts #Emily Dickinson #LGBT+#wlw #poetry #history

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akira-seijuro · 5 years ago

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1/3 Last brain pill

I should have been something else. I could have made more days less painful for everyone. I love my family, friends more than I love myself. I can't do it. I can't love myself enough to let them go.

On 27th April, 2020, one of the anti depressants that I have been taking for over an year, is over. My doc, reduced the dosage and I think I'm finally done with it and I was so damn fucking happy. I think, for the first time in my entire life, including my childhood, I don't see myself as a victim anymore. Victim of being bullied, unfriended, heartbreak, academics and most importantly my friends and family.

This lockdown is like shit worst. I can't even imagine people being alone and trying to take care or themselves. It's nightmare. I can't even imagine myself in my pg or my hostel room anymore. I mean, sure I could have survived like I did all those years, but that chronic self care obsession would just make me let go of myself. On May 31st 2020, I'll be officially completing one year of my medication and June 2nd would be my father's first death anniversary and July 15th would be the time I probably saw my friend, for the last time, who totally instilled hope in me. I'd probably never see him again.

I could have been better. I don't know why I didn't. I don't know if it was my best thinking now. I could have been more patient, a better daughter. I could have been more honest, a better friend. I could have been more kind to myself. I lived in fear for so long, I don't care about my last minute anymore. I don't am have any regrets. I tried my best. I don't like when people say 'Poor you, take care of your mum. You had to go through so much at a very young age. Everybody goes through this. Everybody dies sometime. I get it, I understand your pain.'

I think what I wanted was 'It's alright. I believe in you. We'll be ok. We will go through this shit together and finally make peace with it someday.' I did have my best friend saying that to me until January 2nd, 8.30pm. Now I don't know where he is. How he is doing. I wanted to escape my life so badly, I wanted to run away from my bitterness. But it was all inside of me. I didn't want my dad's death another thing for people to say sorry for. It means something for me. Sometimes he means everything to me. Every little piece of my existence belongs to my parents. I love them very much that I can't be this girl who went through her childhood without almost making a single friend. But yeah, teenage is shit. I changed. A lot. I became more open, accepting, strong and brave. I was never afraid to tell the truth, I used to postpone but I know I would do it anyway, I would do what feels right to me. C'mon I proposed 2 guys. It was real. The love I felt. I think being in love makes you feel that everything is possible, mostly that it deepens the hope that someday you'll be happy. Chill. Both are one sided and failures. I've never been loved or cared that way. I don't think I need to. I mean my friends wholeheartedly love me and would go almost out of their way to do anything that would make me feel better at times. I never looked for a fucking replacement of the man whom I loved the most. No body can be that man who chants my name to feel better while in pain.

Rather than hurting people. I think I scared alot of people away because of my love. I guess it's so intense and feels weird. I don't know. I've started therapy for the first time in my life on October 23rd 2016, because I couldn't bear the fact that I couldn't wish the person on his birthday because my existence was irksome i guess. I still don't know what it was. But yeah. It continues till April 30th 2016 while I was in college. Every week Thursday at 3pm, a counselling session. I felt more accepted and more cared for with the space I wanted there. But frankly, I started therapy because I just wanted someone to listen to me and just try to not have an opinion good or bad about my pain, but be with me while I was processing it. I went there because I thought they'd not have any choice but to listen because I paid. But it was the best thing I did in my life. My dad's illness came back again. I mean March 2nd 2012 to December 17th 2012 is not enough. I was a lid. I didn't process shit. I just believed in god blindly and performed my duties of packing, buying groceries, boarding public transportation, learning how to ride a scooty without ever having a cycle, waiting outside operation theatre, outside radiation hall, outside chemo sessions, all while preparing for my bard exams and jee mains. I just blocked it out. All the pain and emptiness. It had to come again. Being close friends with dad, his illness pushed me to the edge of depression and I was meds which he manipulated me to stop after reaching home. I would isolate myself and would be blamed for it later. I would feel guilty that the person, my best friend whomi trusted the most left me to hang dry. Actually 2 of them. Then comes the job.

But I came to Bangalore with my cousin. When I entered royal orchid for my job orientation everyone is with someone and I was all alone. Just how I entered my college. All alone from Hyderabad to Surathkal. I opened my door, saw my roommate with her family came out and cried so much for my dad. He called my cousin and then he came to see me. It's new for him as well. So I dont blame. My dad knew what I needed until he knew he was gonna die sometime soon. I suffered, wished it to end. I tried therapy and meds again but I felt its hopeless and I stopped once the side effects were horrible from July 2017. My therapist was wonderful though. I loved her. I felt like she's my friend and I didn't want to go down that lane so I stopped. Then people told me that I'm so pessimistic to think 2018 December 22nd would be my last birthday with dad. You know it's not the worst thing to imagine the worst, sometimes its callous reality. Some doctor said this. You dont know what your people want whether they want to fight on ventilator or not. But it would be nice to get to know them. My stomach turned in may so much that I thought something bad is going to happen to my dad the whole time. Once he was scared and the practical prank he pulled took a toll on me and I colored my hair blue. It became green. I wanted to cut ties with my family and friends. No body was there then, all my friends were on business trips or we had a fight. But I made a new friend who's accepting and weird. Then another new friend with whom I randomly broke out after storming out of a meeting. I guess I started developing feelings for the former one. I didnt want all that shit because I know it's not going to work out or that it won't be reciprocated. So, I didnt want that shit to make my suffering much worse. So I realized everything is so messed up and I needed help. I stuttered and stammered dude while my dad thought he was dying but didnt. I barely remember what words I spoke or repeated. Well, second time when they called, it's true. Anyway on 31st may, with all the complications I decided I might need meds because even my body is going out of control now. Then on 1st I get that call and had to dye my hair back to brown and go see him there. This time no words came out of my mouth, it's like I forgot all the languages and how to form sentences. I couldn't promise him that I'll come out of depression, so I said I'd try in my head which obviously didnt come out because, well, like I said my body wasnt under my control. Then the only thing I wanted him to know about my life is Ayushman, lets call my first love that. I dont want to name. That I love Ayushman so much but he doesn't and its ok. I called to tell him about my new friends Bhavana and Bennington, let's call second guy that. But instead it all turned out something. But once after all that agony injecting rituals and processes, I came back and the only person o wanted to see and talk was Bennington. Then I realised what I was feeling and I accepted it and felt good that while grieving, I was able to love and not feel guilty about it. True, I tried very hard, wanted to cross oceans for him. I wanted to be there for him. But then I didn't want to force it. I don't know what the fuck I did anyway. Then a lot happened, prathista entered my life and I was loved and accepted and I could feel people wanting good for me. And that's all I needed. Besides the belief thing. Some more fights with my best friend sneha, with whom I got matching tattoos.

Then my best friend, lets call him sunshine had to like go out of the world to save love. I was alone. I was a workaholic. Knowing that someone loved me gave me immense energy to work harder, to do more good. But then Voila, my mom and cancer again. God. I didnt feel that someone is inflicting pain or that I'm a victim. I felt that these things happen and its life. It's bad but it's how it went in my life. I have no control over what happens to her. Whenever I assist her or do some stuff, I keep correlating with my dad's time with cancer. It gets so confusing. Idk. I love my mum too. I grieve. I cry. For both mum, dad. Sometimes for sunshine and Bennington. But I think it's ok. It's not something to feel bad or sorry for. It's a part of my life. I am glad I was able to back to my friendships. Gowtami, Chandu, Bokade are like pillars of support for me. I realised being kind is a way to deal with the crisis. I liked the way I lived for the first time. But I'd do anything for the people I love. I'm not going to force it. I wish them all good. People keep saying I'm strong and brave explicitly. No, I was always them. They are implicit things. Thats my character. Being able to be strong, brave, vulnerable, real honest, intense and sometimes messy. Anyway 2 more brain pills to go and still more therapy sessions. They will end when they should. I am glad that this is something that I did for myself. It's my effort despite all the discouragements I've faced about it. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I'm so glad it has a name. I miss my dad very much right now. My mom's chicken curry too. I miss my friends.

Love,

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wayward-marvel-sommer1196 · 7 years ago

Text

Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one.

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.)

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask)

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met.

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2.

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day.

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....”

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died: Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long

Do you believe in… 77. yourself? Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day?

78. Miracles? sometimes

79. love at first sight? I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange

84. Eye colour: Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too.

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strawberryspeachy · 5 years ago

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So far on the boys ive talked to in japan - aside that teacher

1) around september i decided to look at whose on tinder. One boy i matched with talked to me and didn’t stop responding upon finding out i was not japanese. He helped me with a couple japanese phrases - telling me what sounded most natural. Asked me if i lived alone. Said he wanted to meet me.... asked if i was free that week. I said yes. I gave him a couple days that i was off. He never responded again - that was about 5-6~ days into talking

2) october i went to a club... after a disappointing night i talked to the cute ... not bar person but like he was on the floor. I thought he’d walk away but he got all happy and kept moving close to me to talk. It being too loud combined with my poor japanese and his no english meant we used google translate to talk mostly. Added each other on instagram and he said he’d like to hang out sometime. I asked about a few days and he pulled out his calendar and both were days he worked- he had two jobs. He said we’ll figure out a time later. We had some conversations on instagram. Then after a couple weeks his stories always showed him with friends. I asked him a couple times when he was free and he said he was working all the time. After another weekish of that i said it seemed that he had time to see his friends but not me. And he basically just said yep

3) december i got back on tinder. But for real. Not just a qick swipe through. Talked to the next guy with a bunch of other dudes. Was just talking. Trying to improve my english. Hoping someone would ask me to go eat with them since that is what id written on my profile. This boy asked me to hang out. We’d talked more and more over the two weeks and he said he really wanted to see me. But he couldnt cause he was working too much. Then he told me when he has a break. I had the flu at the same time and told him id tell him when i was better and he got sweeter and sweeter toward me. Then we talked on the phone and it was awkward and difficult cause my japanese not being great is even worse when i cant gesture. But it went well. Then. Suddenly. Over text the tinder boy - lets have sex! - bs came up. I said i didnt want to the first time we meet and i wanna just talk. He asked a couple more times about it and then agreed. The day before we talked on the phone again - he suddenly said he had to take another call and hung up and then didnt say anything else the rest of the night. I freaked out a bit that night thinking hed stopped talking to me. But the next morning he messaged me like nothing happened. Didnt even want to acknowledge my freak out aside from telling me not to think so much.

We met up. He took me to a shrine. We got fortunes and ties them to a tree... then he took me to his apartment... fast... he said he wanted to watch movies together.... bought... chocolate. I mean great but i wanted real food i was hungry. Then. He kept trying to have sex with me. So many times just pushed and pushed. Would not take no for an answer. Finally when... he was trying to take off more of my clothes and i wouldnt let him and said no again. He asked if i had my period. And only stopped after i said i did. Kept trying to pursuade me to give him a blowjob.

Before that... he asked me to be his girlfriend. Said he was moving soon and asked me to move in with him. Told me hed be workig two jobs for the rest of january so we couldnt meet again till February...

Anyhow after i kept saying no to a blow job and other stuff happened i asked him if we could go get food. He said he didnt have money and cooked bad ramen on the stove and french fries... he drank a bunch of alcoholic. We watched some music videos and he went to sleep.

When he kinda seemed to wake up i tried to make a point of me leaving. He just acted kinda annoyed that he had to even still deal with me being there at that point and ignored me while trying to sleep... he ghosted me right in front of me

He replied to my text the next day with some nonsense and about a week later he told me about his apartment plans. He sent one last text about it before... never responding again

I let it be for the next four weeks... till the days he was supposededly done working two jobs and couls see me again. Hed made story postings during this time

But yea. Never replied to me again

4) some boy who wanted to get better at english cause hes moving to the us. We talked on the phone a couple times near christmas. He complained about not having a gf and said he wanted to hang out. But the times i asked he was “busy”. We hung out once... played darts. He said he didnt want to drink cause he drank the night before and he ate before meeting me so left early.... said next time. There was never a next time.

5) some guy i talked to a bit. He asked to meet up. I agreed. Took a whole for us to find each other cause he kept...... hanging up the phone on me.... he didnt look like his pic and he dressed weird. He basically hailed me over when he found me and then walked fast so that i basically had to chase him around. He was one of those dudes that walks with his hands out like people are supposed to move for him. After about 20 minutes of that he told me to wait while he pretended to get a call and then told me his dog is sick and he needed to leave to take her to the hospital. He said well meet again. Never saw him again not that i wanted too.

6) talked to another boy for a couple weeks. Just about fun stuff it was good conversation. We talked about music and movies and murder mystery parties. About our days and just generally the kind of good conversation you have with friends. Around the third week we talked about meeting... but. Then. Tinderboy - i wanna have sex! Came into the convo... i told him i had my period and asked if we could go out to drink instead. He said lets drink before we do next week. Whatever. Next week comes around. Same good conversation everyday. The day of comes and he responded to me in the morning reconfirming the time and place and stuff. Once the time to meet rolled around. No response. I called him a couple times more so to bitch him out. He blocked me.

7) some other dude. We talked a bit. He asked me to go out to eat. Post poned 3 times that night cause he was working later than he was supposed to. I was so hungry. No he didn’t wanna go out to eat. Bought me some convience store food and barely let me finish eating before hooking up... he said thanks to my happy birthday message. But otherwise we havent talked again. Even though hes a ten minute walk away.

8) then of course theres the absolutely adorable boy who took me out on the date of my dreams.... until he silently walked me the train station. Said bye. And now has slowly ghosted me all week. He just unmatched me on tinder after i asked about it so. Guess he’s gone. Which has me feeling fucking terrible.

9) talked to a guy a couple days ago. He asked if i wanted to hook up. I basically agreed. I WANTED HUMAN CONTACT ON VALENTINES DAY. He told me beforehand he was only free for a couple hours. Asked if i wanted him to pick me up the night before buttttt i got my hair treated and shouldnt sweat so i said it was too late and i needed to sleep. He met me. Late. At the station and walked me back yo his apartment after i was done work. One of my students saw me with him... embarrassing. We talked a lot. Hes the oldest guy ive ever... anything. Though still just 29. It would have been a good conversation if... i didnt know he asked me to come have sex and then never made a move. An hour and a half in he suddenly went

Oh its the time! Sorry go. I should have agreed to his request for yesteday instead of insisting on friday.

Ive been freaking out about 8 and i messaged him asking if he lost interest in me. He never responded to my message asking if he wanted to hookup yesterday. He didnt respond for 20 minutes and then i said either say yes or no so im not waiting. And he almost immediately responded with no. So. Idk.

10) talked to some dude from hong kong yesteday. He messaged me first saying he doesnt like japan and just came for the food. Ive been crying all day and basically hust bitched about japan to him. Apparently he doesnt actually dislike japan... he just doesnt like the bidets.... and i told him my home life sucks so im here but here sucks too so wtf. Ya know. Things that are totally attractive go someone you started talking to a half an hour ago. He said he wanted to talk about food. Im good at food talk ok. Then asked if i wantrd to meet up and look for cake with him. Sure. Shinjuku. The same placd i met 5 and 3. Thought id break the- everytime i come to this city im depressed. Cause before them the last time i went to shinjuku in the summer. I couldnt find the clothes shops i was looking for. There were couples all around me. And it was the first day in japan i felt so utterly and truely miserable and alone and like nothing in my life was better. I was still hoping at that point that the teacher i worked with would go with me and show me around and i left thinking next time i go itll be better cause i wont be alone.

Well shinjuku appears to be bad luck for me. I got stressed trying to find this boy and sounded like it over the phone. But he still met up with me. I brought him some snacks from the baskery near me on my way. We talked. He speaks english. But he just asked about my job... how do you get it. Is it hard. Whats its pay.

I walked past a cake shop on my way to meet him and i showed him the cakes he said he really wanted. He said he didnt bring much cash so he didnt want it.... k i thought that was the point of this trip but whatever. He asked me if i was hungry three times. I said i ate before coming because normally when i meet people we dont eat and i go hunry. I left out the YOU SAID YOU WANTED CAKE!!! Part. He said he was hungry but didnt want me to not eat while he did. So i told him to find a place with desert and ill eat desert while he eats a meal. Were walking. This is about 25 minutes in and he starts to complain his legs hurt and that hes tired. Another 10 minutes pass and he complains more about how he feels like hes floating and his shoes dont fit. I see mcdonals and say i know this is lame but ive kinda been craving a big mac. Its fine if not cause ya know your visiting japan but would you want mcdonals. He jokes about it and then goes yea i could go for a bigmac. We get in the store and he tells me to go. And i tell him to go ahead first. Then he says no he feels sick and doesnt want to eat.... tells me to eat... the exact situation he didnt want earlier

Hm. Gee. I wonder whats coming. I say i only wanted to eat cause he said he was hungry. We leave and then he says maybe its tmi but - proceeds to tell me about being constipated. I didnt try to listen. Btw he was 6’4 and kinda difficult to hear if i didnt try. I wrap that up with. Yea i think that was a tmi story but good for you. Cause the gist of it was that he could shit now.

Then. You know its coming. He says hes gonna go home. I stop acting happy. I told myself the next time this happened id confront them.

We met up at 7 and it was now like 7:50. My train is 10 bucks round trip.

But. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

All i could say after a while of kinda just going silent was - whyd you ask me to meet if you were so tired.

And he aaid cauae walking around japan alone isnt fun. Yeah mean i know. I said that to you over text earlier.

I asked him if i dont look like my pic. He says i look exactly like my pic.

I say a few times before ive met up with guys and we never talk again. And he goes - well youre meeting strangers and sometimes it just doesnt click

He unmatchd me the moment he got on his train. I imagine were still friends on snapchat cause he probably deleted it since he redownloaded it to talk to me

So yea. Same experiences as back home because im me and i will always be cursed and miserable. I dont wanna sleep cause im waiting to see when that boy in 8 will block me on line... cause i sent alot of messages. It doesnt help me to know when.... but.... ya... idk. Someone shoot me please

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bloginstantmooncollector-blog · 6 years ago

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I got my first speeding ticket ever yesterday and it was a $120 citation . Since I was nervous, I agreed to pay the $120 right there and then. What will happen to my insurance rates? Since I'm 18 and its my first offense will they stay the same? Also, I live in Illinois and got the cotation in Marengo if that helps. Please help! Thank you""

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone know where I can get cheap bike Insurance I'm looking for basic coverage on a 650cc Yamaha Maixm I just got my licence in May. I live in Ontario Canada.

Question about car insurance??

my boyfriend and i have been discussing selling my car and sharing his (to save money, one less insurance/payment each month). My question is without having insurance (unless i went on his), will that make my insurance go up more the next time i own a vehicle? my current provider (progressive) increased my rate because i was uninsured for 3 or 4 days, and im curious if this is what will happen if say, im uninsured for a few months. THANKS!!!""

""If you pay an annual sum for car insurance, can you get a refund on it if you buy a new car?""

I'm just wondering, let's say I bought some car insurance recently and paid the annual sum. If I decide to purchase a new car in a few months time (and I'm assuming insurance policies are tied to a particular car) would I be able to get reimbursed for the months of car insurance I didn't get (since I'd need to sign up for a new insurance policy on the newly purchased car)? Or is this why you should pay monthly instead (even though it costs more in the long term)? Don't know if it makes much of a difference but I'm also in Australia.""

Can I get insurance??

Im 18 years old. I have never had insurance before because my parents have never had insurance. I just graduated from high school. I need insurance to help pay for some dental work. I dont have a job yet but Im working on getting one for the summer before i go to school. I know I am legally an adult so isnt there some kind of poor young peoples' insurance I can get? Or can I still apply for medicare or something because I am still basically under my mothers care. I appreciate any suggestions.

Car insurance arghhhh !!! help?

OK how does this sound to you guys? my mum has two cars one of which is insured with me as a learner im 19 and my sisters as a full driver 22 she is also insured with her own car but on my mums so she culd take me out to learn and for emergency reasons ok so the second car is going to be insured under the same company on a diffrent policy with my mum only. aparently this sounds suspecious ?? pepole think the 1st car is mine but its NOT my mum will be the main driver on both i she will decided which car she takes one day and which the other not me but she got the second car because my sister who is insured on the policy aswell well her car broke so she took a lend of my moms which was annoying for my mom coz she needed it and when she takes me out to learn my mom got fed up waiting till we come back to she jist got a second car to aviod that ! when i pass my test yeah i will be a full liceance on the policy im currently on but that does not mean it will be my car ! only time i can driver it is if my mom or older sister is not using it. BUT ppl are convinced its mine and all that ? surley an insurance company cant refuse to insure???

""I am 17 years old and don't have health insurance, what do I do?""

I am 17 years old and don't live with my parents. I am living with a friends Aunt while I attend college. Because I don't live with my parents I can't be on their health insurance, I've been ill and worried but avoiding the doctor because any medications would cost a fortune. All my prescriptions used to only be $15 now they are dramatically raised. I don't have a job either. What do I do? Is there any type of thing I can qualify for? Any feedback would be much appreciated!!!""

Effects of Bond Insurance?

What effect does bond insurance have on default probability and loss given default?

Insurance for a 17 yr old girl?

How much would insurance be for a 17 yr old girl in a mustang in NY? I took drivers ed, btw. Or insurance for any car, doesn't have to be a mustang.""

Urgent question: car accident/ no insurance?

Let say someone gets into an accident but did not have insurance on it( it is a long story but the car needed to be repair and be sold, so he was driving it to get it fix so he can sell, unfortunatly, while he was on the highway, he tries to stop just to realisethat the brake was not working and he bumps into another car. well the car is complety a mess and the air bag even came out. As it is for the other car no need to say that it back was mess up too) ok my question now what is going to happen, can he take a lawyer to defend him and how much do you think it might be to fix the other car. Please let me know I am so worried. the person lives in dallas, Texas. Thank you for your time ( the police came and said they are are going to court, the other car has insurance)""

Is a 1978 lincoln mark v cheap to insure?

i am looking at a very cheap car to insure. i was looking into one of these classic cars. i currently drive a 1995 ford explorer V6 and its RWD that costs $140 a month on insurance and it gets worse gas mileage than a 1969 lincoln mark iii. as far as i know, this is a 34 year old car and registration is probably gonna cost 50 bucks or less and i live in NH. im 19 and have no tickets or accidents, will the lincoln mark v be cheaper than my explorer. i only have liability""

Difference between HMO and private health insurance?

Do HMO's provide private health insurance? orr... what?

Can fleet insurance be cheaper than insuring 2 vehicles?

My boyfriend and I got in a debate about this. I will be graduating college in a few months and told him that I wanted to purchase a pickup sometime within the year, but wanted to ...show more""

How much will insurance cost for me?

I'm 18, Male, i'm going to be driving a rx8, And i live in Washington state. I know you can't tell me exact, But around how much.""

What is the best company for mobile home insurance?

Need full replacement policy on mobile home over ten yrs old

Affordable health insurance plans?

The company where I work has just informed me that they will be canceling our medical benefits at the end of this month. What are some decent plans that I can get on my own that arent too expensive. I was paying $100.00 per month thru my job and would like to keep my premium around the same. I live in Wisconsin. Thanks for any advice.

How much does your motorcycle insurance cost?

Also say your gender, state, age, etc. P.S how much would it cost for a 18 year old male in NYC with a 600cc engine? ninja..""

Is $600/year normal price for insurance if the car is 10 years old?

My BMW Z3 is 1999 and I'm paying $600 a year for insurance in MD. Does anybody know why is it so high for such an old car? The car is now worth approximately $5000. Our other car is 2006 SUV and the insurance is cheaper. Why is that?

Does the cost of insuring a car go down when you turn 18?

is it worth waiting a couple of months to my eighteenth birthday to get cheaper car insurance? thanks guys!

Company owned life insurance?

I am looking for a laymans explanation to explain the concepts of Company owned life insurance.

How much would Insurance go up with Speeding Ticket?

I'm 17, in Kansas, and I got a speeding ticket for going a 51 in a 40. My dad said that it will cause insurance to go up for the next three years. My ticket cost is $96.00. How much should this cause my insurance to go up? I've never had any violations of any kind before and I have the good student discount, too. Also, what do you recommend I do? Should I just pay the fine and accept whatever happens to my insurance?""

How much would insurance cost for a 17 year old?

I'm going to be seventeen soon and I'm just curious how much it will cost to insure me. My parents have USAA and they have some kind of family type plan with me my sister and both of my parents. I will probably be driving this car http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/2004-NIssan-350Z-custom-body-work-and-paint-/320645191467?pt=US_Cars_Trucks&hash=item4aa7f1572b#ht_930wt_1123 I don't care about your opinion of the car, and I don't need a lecture on the fact that I shouldn't street race I just want a ROUGH estimate of how much it will cost per year or per month or whatever you can find""

How much is your liability car insurance?

price per month? your age? your state? car year and model?

Would insurance for a VW Golf be cheap or expensive?

I'm 17 years old currently doing driving lessons and I'm thinking about a VW Golf for my first car. Would the insurance be high or low and which engine size would be the best to start off with?

Car Insurance Question?

Hi I was involved in a road traffic accident, I have valid insurance & my vehicle is being repaired. My insurance is registered at my current home address but I have just realised that my driving licence still shows my previous address. I am being provided with a courtesy car & have to provide my licence number, will this make my claim invalid???""

How do I cancel California Blue Cross insurance?

I have been trying to cancel my policy for 3 months. I even tried to stop payment at my bank, but they keep getting around the stop payments by charging different amounts each month. (This month they decided to charge me $50 more than last month) When I call them, I am on hold for over 30 minutes before I finally just give up. On their website, there is NO information about how to cancel your policy whatsoever. Why is it that they don't have ANY information on their California Blue Cross website about how to cancel??? Does anyone know of an address or fax number or wherever I am supposed to send written cancellation to or how do I go about cancelling????""

I got into a car accident and i have no insurance?

I rear ended this woman at only 20 miles an hour, she had absolutely nothing on her, not even a scratch . I have no insurance so she didn't call the police. Then she called this weekend she said her mechanic said it would cost over $500 because her air bags needed to be replaces due to this accident. Is she just trying to play me and did I have anything to do with those air bags? I decided she was lying to me, and decided not to pay. She then calls and says she's calling the police and reporting it as a hit and run, and calling a lawyer.""

Urgent care? Do I need insurance?

So I really need to go to urgent care but will they even look at me if I tell them I don't have insurance and don't even have a job...? I would go to the hospital... But like I said... I have no insurance and no job.

Do different insurance agents from the same company offer different rates?

I just got my AllState bill and my home insurance just doubled this year! I want to switch to StateFarm but I got a quote a few months ago from a local agent, and it was very high too... However, it seems like this local agent is very successful and has a lot of business. I was wondering, if I go to another StateFarm agent, will they offer me a better rate? Or is purely determined by their computer system?""

Car insurance? first car?

i have a '96 fiesta 1.1.its my first car. i cannot get insurance cheaper than 2000. it is garaged, minimal miles per year. any one know where i can get cheap insurance??""

How can I take the insurance of my car off my parents name?

Okay sooo, my dad has never been a good father figure until i turned 16. I'm now 17 and have a car that i bought and i have the title and loan in my name. He is the co-signer. He also pays the insurance. I have a boyfriend and he doesn't like it when i have a boyfriend. He thinks i'm too young for one. My mom and him are divorced and i live with my mom. She doesn't care that i have a boyfriend and lets me go over to his house and go on dates, etc. He doesn't approve. So he threatened to take my car away if i don't be home when he says. My home is my moms house. I have more of a right to listen to her than i do my dad. She thinks so too. He says since he pays the insurance he should be able to take my car away if he wants to. I offered to pay my own but he won't let me because then he won't have anything to hold over my head. How can i get my own insurance and take it off his name without him knowing until its done?""

Car accident and no licence or insurance?

So i got into a car accident this morning on the way to school, and the lady driving the other car was pulling out of her drive way and i hit her while she was pulled out on to the road, reason being she lived on a corner kinda tucked away and as i turned i didnt see her and i hit her car.. the police took both our statements and lets us both go even thou i dont have insurance or a license What will my fine and punishments be?""

How much is motorcylce insurance for state farm and is there one cheaper then state farm?

im gonna buy a bike and heard that its cheaper for a bike and its insurance then a car and its insurance... thanks for the help

Help with car tax and short term car insurance?

Hi I have a nissan micra which myself and partner are insured on and I intend to sell. I have bought a peguot but the problem is that it needs taxing and to get tax I need to insure it and this is when it gets complicated - The peugot is in Brighton in my parents garage and they plan to drive it upto me in Liverpool. The question is what do I do about the tax and insurance for it as I dont want to cancel or transfer my current insurance on my micra as I need the car until my new one arrives, my dad will also need to be insured to drive it up. PLEASE HELP VERY CONFUSED""

Can I buy term life insurance for my aunt who lives in CA?

I live in Florida and was just wondering if I can purchase a term life insurance policy for my aunt in California? Will the term life insurance policy be in my name or her name, because I will be paying for the policy?""

Car insurance declaration?

hi my car was recently hit from behind by a third party at the time my brother was driving using his own insurance everything has been sorted out by the insurance company's do i need to declare this on any future car insurance quotes? i was the only named driver on the policy but my brother is fully comp on his own insurance my brother was taking it to swap cars over with his in his garage with my permission to drive the car

Exactly how much does credit score affect auto insurance rates?

Can anyone tell me roughly what percentage my rate is gouged (oops, I mean 'increased') as a result of less than perfect credit? I have Progressive insurance if that helps. Thanks!""

What is a good health insurance for J1 visa visiting scholars in USA ?

J-1 Exchange Visitors are required by U.S. Department of State to have health insurance for themselves and any accompanying dependents in J-2 status for the entire time that they are in the United States as exchange visitors. Minimum insurance coverage must provide: Medical benefits of at least $50,000 per person per year or accident Medical evacuation of the Exchange Visitor to his or her home country in the amount of $10,000 Repatriation of remains in the amount of $7,500 Deductible limited to $500 per accident or illness I am looking for a health insurance that meets these requirements and allows to include my family (spouse and 3 kids). I was considering United Healthcare StudentResources but they increased the premium in 40% from 2011/2012 to 2012/2013 (considering the whole family). The IMG (International Medical Group) has the Patriot Exchange Program that meets the J1 requirements and is much cheaper, for example. Could you please tell the community the plan you have, pros and cons, and any other useful information?""

What car insurance would you recommended after having a DUI?

I'm on my last month of having a year suspension and need to start checking out insurance companies. After AAA saw my penalty on record, I was instantly declined to be re-insured. Obviously I can't be picky, but all I ask is for the best deal at the lowest price. Not sure if these influence the price ranges or not, but here are some basics that may be of assistance: Female, 20. Toyota Yaris '09 wet-and-wreckless infraction, over a year ago. Been driving for 4 years. Sacramento, CA""

Will my insurance provider penalise me for doing this...?

If i have a policy for my motorcycle and a policy for my car, (both policies are form the same insurance provider) and over the summer i decide to drop the policy for my car, only to activate it again in the fall, will that be considered a lapse in coverage? Will my rates be higher because of this action when i reinstate the policy in the fall?""

Can I add my girlfriend to my health insurance if we live together?

Some states allow benefits for partners. Is this the same? I am insured by Humana (Open Choice PPO)

Can people tell me how much they pay for their car insurance please?

i have a 1996 vw polo and im 17. i know its different for all cars and people, but i just wanna know roughly what people in similar to my position pay please :) thanks""

How much would it cost to get the implanon removed at planned parenthood but with no insurance?

I have had it for almost 2 years and it bothers me so much! I get really bad side affects from this stupid thing and I want it out ASAP!

I was in a car accident so i been off work how will the insurance pay me?

I been off work due.to my accident my insurance said ill get paid after 14 days due since I'm not able to work

Audi Q5 2014 car insurance cost houston?

i just moved to Us , Houston and i am 32 year old male so i would like to buy a new Audi Q5 2.0T any idea how much the full insurance ? and is it good car Q5 2.0 T ? Thanks a lot""

Company owned life insurance?

I am looking for a laymans explanation to explain the concepts of Company owned life insurance.

Is insurance higher on certain cars?

Is insurance higher on certain cars like 2doors and red cars

Insurance to drive another car?

I work on a farm and I have to drive across fields and stuff to get around. Sadly, I currently have to do this in my own car so I was thinking of buying a cheap car so I don't ruin my actual car in the process. I can't leave the car at the farm, so it would need to be road legal (taxed, MOTed and Insured) Is there any insurance you can get where you can be insured on both cars but on one policy? (Sort of like what car traders use where they can drive any car that isn't registered to them)""

Do I need insurance ?

I'm 16 I'm starting my own lawn care Business Do I need Insurance In case I hit something and does my car Insurance cover snow plowing

How much is an average car insurance?

I am a 17 year old male. I turn 18 October 4th. I have taken a drives education course which should reduce the price. My grades are great. I'm looking into getting a 2008 mustang and I live a mile from work. And i live in the state of florida. How much SHOULD my monthly car insurance be?

What is the best car and best insurance to go with?

I'm 20 years old new driver I know my insurance going to be high I'm taking A 6 hour road ready driving school but at the end what is the best car I'm not really into cars I'm much more into kind of truck sure enough that would be the best type of car and insurance car insurance that help new drivers not Kill they wallets / bank account

Insurance companies offering restricted hours driving to get a cheaper quote?

How much are you paying for Car insurance?

$117 a month I am 19 and a guy.

Insurance costs on 350z & g35?

Prices just on average? In Texas. 16 year old girl. How much does color matter? What are the different prices for blue, black, silver, & white? How much does the z and Infiniti coupe differ? Please don't tell me to choose different cars..I'm asking for insurance price, not your opinion""

How much will it cost to insure my business?

It's a grocery delivery business. I have a few drivers. I am concerned about the following: Protecting employees while they are driving/delivering, Protecting my customers from any negligence or criminal activity done by my employees, Insuring inexpensive (about $5k each) delivery cars""

Whats the average cost for insurance for a corvette? but monthly?

well i want to get a corvette but i want to know the average insurance for it?

Car Insurance for a 17 year old ? Rough price needed.?

Hi, My son is 17 in a couple of months, need a rough guess on how much insurance will be on a low groupage car (peugeot 106 1.0 etc). He'll be provisional but will have his mother on the insurance also. We're in Teesside so not out in the sticks but not a city postcode. Any rough ideas will be great. Thanks.""

What would insurance cost for a 16 year old?

I turn 16 in two weeks and i might be getting an Infiniti G35 coupe. We have state farm and i can't due a quote since i don't have my license yet. Can anyone give me an idea of how much the insurance would cost?

Does anybody have Affordable Health Care benefits for individuals and the entire family?

Are you or your family looking for affordable Premier Health Care Savings Plan with up to $2,000 Accident Coverage with only $100 Deductible(on or off the job at school or at play)You ...show more""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I am currently trying to get a motorcycle license and I'm wondering if there's any insurance company that would insure me. I'm 18, in California and I don't have a drivers license yet. I have passed the written test for a drivers license but haven't been able to schedule a behind the wheel test yet because my family's lack of cars (mom/dad uses them to get to work until ~8). So while I'm waiting for that to happen then I'm might as well try to get a motorcycle permit because we have my dad's old (but not so old) one. But question is, is there an insurance company that would insure somebody like me? Price isn't too much of an issue because I have a job with no added financial duties so to say.""

Which car insurance is good and cheap for a teen?

Well not so much a teen anymore im turning 20 in a few months.. but my car insurance is REALLY high..is it because i have a honda civic? or that im 19.. Should i try Geico? I dont know what to do. anybody know any cheap insurance companys?

How good is your health care insurance?

Are your premiums are too high, coverage too low, or you simply cannot afford healthcare insurance and have no coverage at all.. Do your elected officials have healthcare insurance? Of course they do. After all you voted for them to not only get more paid vacation days per year, work less days; not have worries about homelessness, hunger, gas prices, food prices, unemployment or unemployment wages, bancruptcy, gas prices, welfare, retirement or health care insurance. In short you have voted in favor of them living better than you. Why should you be left out? Here is a start towards a solutuion. Now you too can be on your way to better healthcare coverage. Let's get America rolling again. - Lee Iacocca After all a goverment can only be as healthy as its citizens. http://www.michaelmoore.com/sicko/what-can-i-do/health-card/ I hope this helps.""

What is a good car insurance for someone that is 21?

im 21 my car is insured by my moms insurance but she wants to take me off. What are some good options??i live in california and im a full time student.

""Whats the cost to own a brand new BMW 3 series in CA, US (with Tax, insurance etc.)?""

Whats the cost to own a brand new BMW 3 series in CA, USA (including, Taxes, Insurance, and other hidden costs if any)?""

""Is it cheaper to be put on your parents car insurance, or get your own?""

I'm 16 and I need car insurance, would it be cheaper to be put on my parents, or get my own entirely?""

How to transfer car loan to my name?

My boyfriend has gotten a dui recently and his insurance went up like crazy tripling how much he use to pay. To avoid paying for the high insurance rate for the next 4 or so years, he suggested that he transfer his Wachovia car loan to me. How do I go about to doing that? Do I contact Wachovia first? Do I then have to get a car loan from the bank for the remaining amount of his car? By the way, my credit score is excellent. Thanks your answers.""

How much would car insurance be for an 18 year old in Ontario?

I am an 18 year old living in the Windsor area in Ontario, Canada. I was wondering approximately how much car insurance for me would be. I've been driving for 2 years, never had an accident, speeding ticket, etc. I've also taken drivers ed.""

What's the best life insurance?

This question is for my mom. My mom is 63 years old and needs life insurance. She is in great condition. Never smoked or done drugs. She never drinks alcohol. The only thing really is that she has been told she is borderline diabetic. My mom doesn't have a lot of money so she would like to find an insurance that is very cheap. Her job will be ending in July an will only have her disability to live off of. So what's the best life insurance?

Will my insurance rates go up because of my dad's ticket?

My dad got a speeding ticket tonight. I am under my parents car insurance, but I still pay myself and they bill me directly, but because there are three cars under the policy it cost less for me and that is why I choose to be on their policy. I own my car. But will my premium go up now because of his speeding ticket?""

Does car insurance go up if you get your drivers permit?

will my parents car insurance go up if i only get my permit?

""How is it my insurance coverage costs go down, but not my yearly fees?""

I've only had my license a few years, so only had to pay this a few times, but the first time my car was insured for $15,500. The second time it dropped to $13,500. Yet both times I'm expected to pay $460 for the year. Cheap because I'm going through someone else's name 'cause it would cost me about $1,800. Why do the coverage costs go down but not the fees?""

Company owned life insurance?

I am looking for a laymans explanation to explain the concepts of Company owned life insurance.

Who offers parked car insurance?

My husband is deployed with the Army and I went to stay with family out of state while he is gone. We left his car at our duty station and we still owe on it. Progressive does not offer parked car insurance and I do not want to pay full price when neither of us are going to be anywhere near the car for a year. Are there any companys that offer parked car insurance or is there anything else I can do until we pay it off?

""Car Insurance Question, 16 year old male, looking for first car...?""

I live in NH, I am 16 years old and i want to buy a car. My parents are uneasy about having to pay for the insurance, i will buy the car, not anything crazy maybe a 2000 dodge neon of 2000 ford ranger. I don't get exceptional grades,(b- range.) What is the cheapest way to insure a car this way? Should my parents switch auto insurers? My parents already own two cars, what is the difference of adding a third? THANKS!""

What does liability mean with Auto Insurance?

Im in the military so I dont need any medical mine is fully paid but does this mean I dont have any coverage when it comes to damage to my own vehicle? I got quoted $544 for 6 months. ANy idea how much it would be if I got insurance on my vehicle too. Thank you

Young drivers car insurance outrageous?

i got an 05 Mercedes-Benz c320 ma-tic its my first car and im 18 i am paying 350$ a month and its with my mom on her plan. Any ways to get it cheaper i been driving for probably 6 months if i keep getting no speeding tickets and no accidents it will go down every year and i also think i will only drive 3,000 miles a year if that helps anyone else out there my age what do id o?""

Driving without Proof of Insurance?

I was recently stopped by a police officer for speeding and when giving him my license and proof of insurance he stated that my insurance had expired. I then received a $550 fine for not having insurance, but not for speeding. I do have insurance, but the proof of insurance is what expired (we searched everywhere and the cards that the insurance agency was supposed to send did not show up). My question, then, is what do I do about this? I was not aware that my proof of insurance had expired (again, not the insurance) and I was freaked out because this is the first time that I have ever gotten pulled over (I'm a college freshman and the car is in my grandmother's name, it was a grad gift) On the ticket do I contest the claim and go to court or do I admit the claim and go to court? What are the possible outcomes or what is most likely to happen?""

Car insurance question....?

Is it possible to see how much the isurance will be before I get the insurance??? I am 18, had my license since december 07 and never had a ticket or accidents... How much average is a teen insurance from a coupe to a minivan... I know its not in the high $800, but maybe $120+. I might get a mustang or something... plus is there an insurance gap between forigen and domestic cars???""

Lowest insurance rates?

Redlight violation?! Any way to lower the $381 fine and not raise insurance?

Help! This Saturday, I was in Fremont to pick up someone at the Bart station. I was on Mission and Mohave going straight towards the entrance to 880 when the light turned yellow. I started to stop but I felt that if I kept stopping I'd end up in the middle of the intersection so I pressed gas again and went through. I thought I made it on the yellow, but I saw the huge flash meaning the lovely camera took a picture of me. ): The fine is $381 according to http://www.fremontpolice.org/redlight/redlight.html plus a higher insurance, right? I'm freaking out. I'm a 17 year old high school student (I've had my license for over a year already) at a private Catholic school, straight A's in all my classes, super clean record, and I've never gotten a ticket before! I know I have to go to court but is there any way that the fine will be lowered and my insurance won't go up? If I go to traffic school will it be cheaper and keep my insurance down? Help please!""

Will a sex change from male to female result in lower car insurance?

Females have lower car insurance then males. So if a male gets a sex change does the car insurance company change their sex in their records and lower their car insurance?

How much would insurance be on this car for a 17 year old?

Photo: http://i.imgur.com/oBPkdUi.jpg

How can I get affordable health insurance for my husband and I in the state of Florida?

I am a healthy 23 yr. old and my husband is a stable 32 yr. old.

Can you collect on a life insurance policy after suicide?

A friend just killed himself and I'm wondering if his wife will be able to collect o his poicy. I've heard the insurance copmpany can void a policy in the first 2 years. But he has had his policy longer than that.

Does MetLife car insurance cover household members?

I recently obtained my Massachusetts Junior Operator License. My mom has metlife car insurance and I'm trying to figure out if I'm covered on the insurance. The metlife website says that it covers you, members of your family that live in your house, and anyone who uses your car with your permission Does that mean that I'm already covered or do I need to be listed under her insurance policy?""

Car insurance question?

I just got a 94 Buick Park avenue a few weeks ago. I'm 17 and getting my license (hopefully) on the 25th of this month. I have a question about the insurance. Our company is Amica. I've gotten a quote recently from my dad talking to them. He told me today that after two cars are insured the third one is automatically listing me as the primary driver. I'd like to be able to be the 'secondary driver' to save money...anyone know if this is possible with this company?

I need a home insurance company that will insure me with a criminal conviction for theft in 2008?

apparently if i received a fine makes a difference which i did....i have tried call connections and direct choice....please help P.S what do i do if no-one will insure me....i thought it was against the law not to have home insurance

Will my insurance go up?

I was in a car accident. I was stopped at a red light lady slammed into the back of me. THe cops came and filled out info. I did not go to the hospital, because I was not in pain. But the next day my back and neck were killing me. It has been 5 days since accident. I want to go to the doctors but i am worried that my car insurrence will go up. If it was the other persons fault will my insurance go up? And is it to late to go to the doctors? Will her insurance have to pay for doctors bill?""

Individual health insurance?

Can you buy two individual health insurance plans? Can you have more than one Health Insurance Plan for your self? I have to buy my own insurance, but even the best individual insurance is crappy and I wanted to now if people ever buy two insurance plans? The insurance i have now only lets me see the doctor twice a year. If I got another insurance plan would it pick up where the other left off?""

Car insurance for first time drivers?

im 18 and looking to buy a car soon, i need to know what i should expect to be paying monthly for car insurance.""

Where can a marijuana smoker get affordable life assurance?

it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times. if they ask for health records then you will be in a higher quote, but also when they ask you question on health and you answer honestly it will help you in the long run because then you will be covered for the need of that disability since your health assurance new you can since you are a smoker. but it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times.""

How much will it cost me to send an used laptop from US to India? including insurance. Is insuring a must?

""Have get government assistance, can i get cheaper auto insurance?

I can't afford my auto insurance but I was told if I get assistance there are insurers that will give me a discount. Does anyone know where? I also heard if I was in states custody I can get it free or cheap.. is this true?

""I live in St. Louis, MO and am a 20 year old male. I was looking for the cheapest auto insurance possible?

I will be getting either a 04' Grand Prix or a 03/04 Monte Carlo and I might have to get full coverage insurance. What company has the cheapest auto insurance. Like around $100 bucks or a little more?

Motorcycle and car insurance?

I want to get a motorbike but cant afford to run my car also. Put a question on here the other day about running a bike only all year round and been sort of put off by responses re winter riding. Is it possible to road tax and insure a car for half a year only and then for other half of year not road tax/insure it. During that period to insure and tax bike instead if put car on private driveway and not use it for that period? So basically run car half year in crap weather and bike other half in good? Whats the reprocussions insurance wise if thats possible? UK answers would be more usefull as thats where I live! thanks!

When health insurance says it has?

weight benefits... what is that? Is it only stomach stapling or is it a weight loss doctor or what??? Do you know andone who has used these benefits? Or do you work with health insurance?

Should I get AAA Roadside assistance or Insurance Roadside Assistance?

I drive an 07 Scion and was wondering if I should get AAA Plus or Insurance Roadside assistance. I currently pay $6 a year for Roadside assistance but I have to pay first and then get reimbursed and it only covers $50 each disablement. I was thinking if I should get AAA Plus which covers up to 100 miles for $76 because I know it costs quite a bit just for a hook up fee.

Company owned life insurance?

I am looking for a laymans explanation to explain the concepts of Company owned life insurance.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-best-student-health-insurance-plan-florida-jose-warner/"

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