#i dont want like talk too kuch about this and naybe im just feeking pathetic
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I don't want bother friends with a vent so I am here
#i dont want like talk too kuch about this and naybe im just feeking pathetic#but i miss the holidays i miss going grandmas every year now? i barely see her and one day shes just going to be gone#i miss christmas with them i miss thanksgiving inmiss easter even if i dont celebrate jt anymore#the concept of death has been freaking me out so bad rhis month#its been so fuckinh mich and o thought if inkept some friends xlose i wouldnt feel alone but i do i feel so aline and empty#i feel so sad that i just been fucking fakinf jt#and i tried just tale a break from everyone and it just makes me feel worse#ive spoken to mom but idk when ill be able actually get jelp im also struggling to talk to her whiut why im so upset#i moss doing stuff with dad as in going oit o miss it#does he even miss it?#i wanted to go to the planetarium wirh jim cause theyre doing a pink flyd xoncert thing but idk idk mom even seemed sad dor me#i just dont want miss out being with them only for them be gone and what would i do when theyre gone#i cantbtype i xant i fuckinf hell k just want to sleel#today was just a not great day tomorrow will be w new say when i can sleep#i hope#ill keep myself busy than ill try sleep early so i dont jave to deal with night#ive never been so scared of death before and i hste that i am now
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