#i dont wanna ve alive rn i hate this feeling i hate hating myself and i hate being made fun of by other people bc jts funny to them

[putridpride]

it's come to my attention that my personality is too childish and I get made fun of for the same shit by everyone and I'm so fucking tired of it

[dreamerology]

anon…..…u asked for it heres 1.2k on Some of the reasons why i love minhyuk :(( 

oh my gosh i dont even know where to startdsjfgjdfj i guess i’ll talk abt what i was gonna talk abt the other night which is how minhyuk is literally made for the stage?????????????? he looks so Alive whenever hes on stage…..he just glows and hes so happy and ecstatic and his eyes sparkle a bit more and u can just tell how happy he is to be there!!!!!!!!! like the fancam of the rush comeback stage where he smile the whole time? GOOD SHIT!!!! u can just see how much he loves it!!! he gets like. Extra Confident when he’s performing……sometimes he just goes tf off,,,hes so dangerous he truly thrives on stage and i love it. i cant wait until they come to canada and minhyuk kills me behind a tim hortons

i cant believe im abt to expose myself but also i feel like i might have talk abt this before kskjdfhksjdhf do u wanna hear abt the worst thing thats ever happened to me and im never gonna be allowed to live it down?? so…….i associate minhyuk, the human personification of the sun, with the colour yellow ofc right….this took place like when the teasers for beautiful were dropping i went on a trip and i Cannot handle plane rides i get motion sickness nd claustrophobic mixed w the usual anxiety so its always a bad time. Anyways i had taken not only gravol (which my friend calls me a lightweight……half of one can knock me Out usually but it wasn’t working so i took a full one) but i also took ativan when i started to have a panic attack like half way through the flight…..I WAS SOOOO OUT OF IT THAT NIGHTJHSDJFH BUT so we got to the place we were staying and i go to my room and the bed sheets were yellow dsjfhdsfhj so i started texting my friend (who knows nothing abt kpop) abt how it was a sign and mh was watching over me dsfjhsdjfhkjhdfh bc clearly yellow = minhyuk. i passed out right after that i forgot everything abt that night until i got home like a week later and she brought it up and i had no memory of it djfshdjfhsjfhsdh that was months ago and she still teases me abt it i hate me dkhsdjhfkjhdfkhd

anyways minhyuk is the literal sun???? ? hes always positive and happy and just the complete opposite of me in every way tbh,,,,i just rly love that abt him like no matter how many things get him down hes able to get back up and try again and keep going and keep a positive attitude and i know ive said this before but he genuinely inspires me to be a better person…..like im such a pessimistic person but i wanna be able to be more positive and radiate warmth he Never fails to cheer me up like watching videos of him being bubbly nd happy makes me so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope hes able to feel that happiness forever he deserves every second of it!!!! i feel like it has to be tiring being that positive for that long but somehow he does it and it amazes me??? his personality was the first thing to draw me too him….its true opposites attract

AND OH MY GOD HES SO CARING!!!!! like it sorta goes w the positive attitude but hes so observant of the others nd makes sure theyre ok and he’ll make sure theyre included nd hes just a pillar of support for them!!!!!!!!!!!! i love family!!!!! i remember wonho saying he wasnt confident enough in himself and he didn’t feel comfortable unless minhyuk was next to him :((((( and half the time he  wouldnt even have to say anything minhyuk would be the first to approach him and ask if he was ok nd offer comfort and :(( it just makes my heart rly warm. like he makes sure hes there for the others and makes sure theyre comfortable enough to approach him and is just there to love and support them… i love a caring man :((( reason number 3532 why minhyuk makes me want to b a better person!!!!

also i absolutely adore how goofy he is sjfhksjdfhjdsdf hes like literally a 5 yr old……what a fool i love him. one of the things in the beginning that i found rly…..endearing??? thats not the right word but i can’t rly think of it rn is that fuckigndsfjhs dolphin noise/high pitched squeal he makes when he gets rly excited sdkfhskjdfh s like its????? So Cute idk why its also hilarious and literally never fails to make me laugh but….yeah i love it hes so weird. and yeah hes smart but that boy can say some of the Dumbest shit dskfjhdkjfhksdhfjh anyways im gonna just leave it at that for now but yeah. hes so funnie he always makes me laugh and cheers me up!!!

i saved the best for last (not that this is a complete list but….i doubt anyones actually gonna read all this to begin w so….ill shut up after this but. this is my fave thing abt him i think) I COULD RLY TALK ABT THIS FOR HOURS BUT. his voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh ym god my favorite sound it the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (mayb only second to his laugh which. Dont even get me started i could write an another entire essay just on his laugh n smile) ANYWAYS HIS VOICE…it was the first one i was able to pick out when i first got into mx. its rly distinct and its just. So Calming to listen to?????? like idk if its weird but a lot of the time if im rly anxious or cant sleep i’ll just listen to some of his solo vlives…..like his voice is rly pretty and i could listen to him talk for hours. he can be so Loud sometimes but it can also b rly soft when hes not yellingjghjshdjfh and no offence but he’s rly got the prettiest singing voice too…..not 2 b biased but hes got the best voice in mx?????? god idk if its bc im fuck deep in l*ve but lately whenever one of his lines comes on it just knocks the breath out of me!!!!!!!!!! i just,,,,immediately start tearing tf up whenever i hear his voice now!!!!!!!!! hes improved so much its so crazy to hear??? like rewatching no mercy u can just Hear how much his vocals has improved…like he was good back then but now!!!!!!!! holy fuck i love a man hes so talented and hes got the most beautiful voice in the world. also in this vlive when he was just singing along or humming it after without the lyrics……i love a man my heart is so warm nd soft hes so cute :((

this isnt even half of it i didn’t talk abt his smile or his laugh!!!!!! or how cute his ears are or how much he loves mbb or how cute he looks in a hat or glasses or how humble he is or how full of love he is and how he never misses a chance to shower his members in love :(( hes so sweet i love him so big im gonna shut up and go now i cant believe i just wrote 1.2k on why i love lee minhyuk the Actual Angel instead of writing my paperdsfjdhsjfs it b like that sometimes

if u actually read all this sappy rambling………id die for u