#i dont wanna hear about anyones psychological hangups about trans girls save it for ur therapist lawl

[peridyke]

ok I'm still kinda waking up and I'm a little groggy so I hope I get this concept across but sometimes I feel like some tme lesbians can be kinda...disingenuous about transmisogyny among lesbians and in lesbian culture? a lot of the time people have a very kneejerk reaction to any associations of lesbians with terfs WHICH IS FAIR I have seen some people say some really lesbophobic things where they just blatantly say all lesbians as terfs or associated with terfs etc which I think is unfair and ironically ignores the presence of trans lesbians BUT!!!!! I also think like its pretty obvious that there's a lot of stuff that people need to unpack if they want to actually be safe for trans women. I don't think I need to tell anyone that there's a really big and politicized focus on lesbians' genital preferences specifically excluding penises and a huge focus on how much lesbians are supposed to be crazy for pwussyy and like yeah obviously gay guys get a similar thing with people saying how much they have to love dick exclusively but with lesbians preferences are waaaaaay more politicized and a lesbian's lack of intimacy with someone who has a penis is supposed to be this hugely political defining part of our sexualities that symbolize how we are like. I don't fuckin know free from the shackles of patriarchy or some bs like that. its hard for me to put into words really but there are so many little things in lesbian culture that are casually trans exclusionary or transmisogynistic and it just all adds up and ends up hurting girls who are already really vulnerable. I don't like how much lesbians are told that we have to have this innate violent disgusted reaction to a part of someone's anatomy or that our lack of interest in men is supposed to mean something grander than just a preference in who we want intimacy from. and I think a lot of the time tme lesbians will still hold and repeat these beliefs to varying extends and then just quickly tack on a comment about how trans women are women without unpacking their deeper biases. a lot of second wave lesbian feminism really focused on this association of lesbianism with grander political idea of "women who are free from the shackles of males" and if we are going to reminisce on that part of queer history we need to recognize its biases and grow from them rather than pretend that these concepts existed in a vacuum that never inherently excluded and hurt trans girls. how lesbianism connects to patriarchy and the unique misogyny and violence we will face because of that is something that needs to be discussed but that discussion must always include the experiences of trans lesbians too not just as a disclaimer at the end of an essay that is blatantly only talking about the cisgender/tme lesbian experience but as something fully integrated and understood as an unquestioned part of our history and community. there have always been trans girls who have been lesbians and there have always been tme lesbians who date and love and fuck trans girls and people need to stop acting like thats a development from the last ten years and that lesbianism and its culture has only ever been defined and pioneered by people who were afab