#i dont wan tto take up more space than i shohld i dont want to be a spectacle
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my arms hurt :(
#official trigger warning for the tags i talk abt self harm#i warned you dog#//#i hate being me because ill be like lol no i dont hurt myself im healing and thenbite my arms until the toothprints stay for a day#and it stings and hurts for a week#but in the moment what else shoudl i do#i dont cut myself not cause i dont hurt myself but cause i dont want to be a burden#i dont want to stain the carpet with blood. i dont want to dirty the knives with my existence#i deserve this. i have not been shown i dont#i dont wan tto take up more space than i shohld i dont want to be a spectacle#i want to die but i dont want it to be known#dissapear in a way only i feel the pain#oops i may have derailed#i also punch and scrstch myself fun fact i stopped going to therapy cause my anxitey is getting worse and i cant make an appointment#FOR MY ANXIETY specifically#im gonna try n ask a friend to write the email for me i physically cannot do it without crying and or breaking stuff
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