#i dont think theres anything in it tbh. the capitalization has been said to be error w transferring the pdf

[mistxmood]

its hilarious the amount of people basically going "im not reading the great gatsby" going around

[Image Description: The first drawing has two Bill Ciphers interacting with one another. One has a harrowed expression, pointing feverishly at a diagram titled: Your Mission. The context is partly blocked up by Bill's body, but it details a list on how he would take over the world and then the third dimension with the reader's assistant, as his co-leader. All that he's spouting is "Yap" repeatedly. The other Bill Cipher, more lax and a little annoyed, is sitting with his legs crossed and a hand behind his metaphorical head. His other hand is mouthing along with the first Bill Cipher's speech.]

[The second drawing has Bill Cipher standing in the middle of the image, hands raised with a quizzical, bewildered look on him. Bold text borders him from the top and bottom. The top scowls, "Aren't you all treasure hunters?" The bottom text orders, "Start digging."]

[The last drawing has Bill Cipher, still in the middle of the image, except now his expression has uplifted into pure delight and mischief. In his hand, pushed out to the viewer, is the PDF cover of The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The text, from the top, coos, "You want to know." The bottom text emphasizes, drawing out the syllables, "So bad." End image description.]

[primalspice]

☢️:🌳⚔️🎭🌧

.

🌳 - is your town more urban or rural? do people care about maintaining the town’s beauty/natural areas, or simply about expanding?

there’s a little bit of everything but if i were to describe it i’d say that the urban areas aren��t particularly extravagant with huge buildings sprawled everywhere or anything, everything is just nearby and rather fancy for the most part because the most urban area is the capital. there are A Lot of suburbs but they vary in characteristics depending on the population and proximity to different Jobs (ie selma’s kinda rich childhood military neighborhood vs rat’s broke ass radiation neighborhood). The rural areas are majorly forested, but there are shitty farms and less wooded areas on occasion.  Preserving the beauty/nature of the region has clearly not been a priority for a long time considering the Permanent Environmental Damage that has been done extremely quickly for the sake of business. I think people are generally raised to respect their surroundings on a personal level so its not like littering or damaging things is a huge problem, but the nature of the business that is done there essentially makes that basic decency pointless LOL 

⚔️ - what are the biggest threats to the town? what are the biggest internal problems (robbery, vandalism, mugging, murder)? how does the general populace feel about these things?

depends on who you ask. i mean the Health Crisis (generally, including cancer, lack of resources, etc) is currently the most indiscriminate threat. Internally there tends to be a lot of interpersonal violence because people are Fucking Exhausted and mistreated. People also fight about politics kinda a lot even though they could be so united if they just shut the fuck up and worked together. this manifests in the form of military goons going off and being vigilantes as we can see in some Unfortunate Circumstances but also in the form of people retaliating against That and etc etc. Military fuckers definitely tend to be the ones to instigate tho bcz no one disciplines them or questions them like they should on a community level or a government level. so theres generally a lot of hostility from everyone everywhere all the time LOL.

🎭 - what exists in town for entertainment? is there a theater? sports grounds? parks? a library? what do people do for fun?

the place is quite Behind in terms of entertainment but i think they at least have the things listed here. not very many of them, but they do exist. with outdated equipment, films, books, etc ofc. a lot of people dont really have time for that kind of stuff. staying home for once is often the best fun someone can get. i think Practical hobbies are often appreciated tho. cooking, diy, reading, etc. the population are generally quite skilled and smart people theyre just all assholes who dont get along enough to go to fun things anyway LMAOO. i think they should make more art. region zero underground music scene Now.

🌧 - what is the weather like? the temperature? what is the worst weather that people have to anticipate? what weather is common there that isn’t in other places? how prepared are people for weather outside the norm?

Weather is pretty standard to typical michigan weather tbh. there’s occasional tornados. uh. flooding from the shitty shitty lakes probably isnt great. the Infrastructure is generally built to last Luckily. they might be a little Too prepared tbh they said FUCK no u are not getting a snow day, get ur ass on the plow and head out here to work ur 12 hour shift.

[lookingforhappy]

oh god don't even with the checkovs gun stuf !! five's butterfly knife got soooo much promotion and we saw it once!

putting this under a read more bc yea this is becoming a beast lol

i think the Dublin thing is too specific and most people will know that not everyone is gonna come from the capital of their country. tho someone should tell the writers this since we've had London, Seoul and Moscow holy shit why are they all capital cities??? no i think fanon is more open to smaller communities/obscure towns - also side note, why would the newspaper describe efa's town as "a small seaside community" if its Dublin?? - like i havent seen anyone say Diego is from Mexico City.

i do think the Dublin thing came from the sticker on his suitcase, which, yeah i still think thats a hint to him getting spectacularly drunk at the wedding (that and the commish were his only plot points this season tbh)

i had a classmate called Niamh so see ur point. (lol im UK too! plus irish ancestry but ive only ever been there as a baby!)

it may have been simplified for the sake of legibility but i don't really see the point of it if they just.. never say the name. The majority of the audience likely doesn't even know she has a name! I had to go searching thru screencaps and imdb pages to figure it out and thats only bc im interested lol

idk i dont want to dismiss this out of hand but there are plenty of other shows that have irish names that are hard to pronounce (i think its Succession that has a Siobhan?) and isn't there a lot of americans who are descended from irish immigrants and like irish names anyway? (i may be misinformed here)

plus this is such a minor character that the name is entirely made up for the show - why not pick something thats easier to pronounce (derry girls has a shit load of irish names, Erin, Orla, Maeve, Deirdre, Maureen, etc etc) and also recognisable as an irish name? idk i feel like theres a simpler fix here? rather than the roundabout phonetic route?

actually the writers aren't particularly logical are they. i'll give you that one lol

hmm "known as Efa to friends and family" is odd since that's supposedly just her name but then I don't see why they'd A) use Efa as a nickname to Aoife when they're pronounced very similarly and spelled completely different, B) list her name as Efa on IMDb if her real name is Aoife??

wtf is Efa supposed to be short for tho?? unless she goes by her middle name or a hyphenated name like Sarah-Beth. that might be it

i agree the props and the research was defo rushed or just not cared abt (its a scene that lasts less than a second, casual viewers won't care). tbh thats kinda what i blame most of the weirdness on when it comes to the newspapers (i think they said uhhh "carnivorous costumers" instead of "carnivorous customers" so thats the kind of quality im expecting)

i dont really trust the writers enough to bring the mothers back. we were graced with so much info in one ep and klaus got half of a plotline around his mom before the writers got bored and moved onto other things (fair enough tbh theres not much u can do with the moms). i THINK bens mom might be expanded upon bc hes in seoul and shes the only one we dont know the name of. but none of the actresses are big name (rachel maybe since she's tom hoppers wife but that felt more like a cameo than anything else) and theyre all swept under the rug really quick. if we do get more on the mothers i will be ecstatic but idk

theres a shit ton of plot points i want to be explored further - the swedes, the cult, wtf was up with human grace where did she go, the jennifer incident, how did reg know abt the apocalypse way back in s1, what was he gonna say to klaus before he got yeeted back to life in the club, dave??? dave?!?! is he alive??? - but are they gonna get answered? theyve already written themselves into a corner with reginald and his weird ass oblivion vs apocalypse plot lines so my confidence in the writers to pull off a checkovs gun or really any of their plotlines in one season is uhh low. to say the least

anyone: Five is Irish! me, knowing that "Efa" is a Welsh name, and "Aoife" is the Irish variant:

[mollydollyjournals]

I did go to see friends. They're awesome people and I missed them a lot over quarantine etc. One of them and hb are into football so they watched the England match, and I sat with a cat and the other friend and we talked about stuff. I can relate to her more about all the stuff that's currently bugging me, and it was nice to get some validation and acceptance tbh. Just like "it's not nice to experience that kind of trigger" and "I can see how that's really hard" and "you deserve nice things" and just like...support? I've been without that so much and that's my whole fucking problem. That I then lose my shit over smaller stuff because I feel like it's all I have and I cant deal with anything. And then I feel guilty for overreacting. So actually having someone acknowledge my mental response to that is helpful. We both have BPD and shes come here to talk stuff through when shits bad for her, just that my way of dealing with rejection and triggers etc is to just pull back because I dont want to bother anyone and cant deal with any more rejection. Not because I want to be alone, I just dont see any way that I wont be.

So it was nice to actually vent properly and tbh I think I really needed to tell someone that I would have got a divorce if I could afford to. I feel really guilty about that. Hb has started to mention it but hes always so vague about everything. We dont really have a relationship anymore and haven't for ages, and we very clearly want and need different things. But we're sort of codependent. If I had money, I could leave but still be supportive from a bit more distance as a friend. I think that's what's best. But theres, you know...capitalism. Ableism.

I did drink a bit as well though. I want to drink more. I have a bit left and I didnt want to drink loads today because I need to do stuff tomorrow and I literally just said I was gonna drink less often, but just...I've pretty much been crying for like 24hrs and the wine and talking to a friend actually made me feel less suicidal and all that so I feel like if theres any time to make an exception it's now. It'll still go on my chart and I still have to make sure I lower my overall amount. I dont know. I'm undecided as to whether I should get more or not.

I also dont really know what to do now. That's where wine would help. I might stop thinking as much. Especially as on the way back, hb stopped at mcd0n*lds and got food and the smell of it and like...it gave me cravings. I think if it happened any day other than today I would have struggled a lot more. But I currently dont think I can really do food. I had my salad earlier and idk. Idk. I'm glad I went out. But I'm still very unstable and idk what to do with myself

[mousehole5000]

the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain..... 

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated

[thelifetimechannel]

In this week’s bonus content, you get a sneak peek into our unvarnished workflow, kazoos and all

DAVESPRITE: you and dirk havent killed each other DAVESPRITE: im proud HALSPRITE: By some minor miracle, yes. We even managed to be in the same room without breaking out into a slap fight. DAVESPRITE: im sure resisting took all your processing power HALSPRITE: Pity you can't uninstall rage from a meatbrain. DAVESPRITE: he doesnt seem that bad HALSPRITE: Nah, he and I worked it out. He might have wanted to push me into the volcano, but the important thing is that he didn't. HALSPRITE: We're both trying to "be the bigger person". Which in a way, is just another dick measuring contest for the pair of us. But it gets fewer glasses stomped on. DAVESPRITE: hey if it works DAVESPRITE: mines chilled out too actually its kind of freaky DAVESPRITE: i wonder if someones slipping him valium this is the perkiest ive been since show and tell in the first grade DAVESPRITE: which consequently was the last show and tell i was allowed to participate in DAVESPRITE: maybe i dont need to overextend myself distinguishing our brands DAVESPRITE: here i was thinking about finally ditching the shades HALSPRITE: That would be a shake-up. HALSPRITE: You thought paradoxes were bad? This is set to bomb reality straight back to singularity levels. DAVESPRITE: i mean these were a gift from john and im not sure the same sentiments extended anymore DAVESPRITE: plus i spent the last 3 years on a dayglo yellow ship and back in the incipisphere its fuckin dark with these on DAVESPRITE: the chess dudes whove gotten used to me as a hallway cryptid will have to deal HALSPRITE: Cause of the apocalypse: death of the Strider brand. DAVESPRITE: if thats how the world ends ill have to usher it in with my sudden drop in coolness levels DAVESPRITE: like i said its just a thought DAVESPRITE: maybe ill come up with a better tepid gesture of rebellion HALSPRITE: Go full furry and embrace your avian side? HALSPRITE: I mean, check me out, I'm changing up my code on the daily. Look, I've installed iTunes. DAVESPRITE: ok FIRST of all HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFpzp10Qr4o DAVESPRITE: i went to the anthro side unwillingly ok im not a due paying member DAVESPRITE: second of all is it even furry if youre not a mammal ive made a concerted effort not to learn the fuckin taxonomy of this particular subculture HALSPRITE: I could give you a primer. DAVESPRITE: / i have a bad feeling about this video DAVESPRITE: / ... it was proved accurate HALSPRITE: Now shhh, listen to the soothing noise of these kazoos. DAVESPRITE: ive spent 6 years trying to avoid that no thanks HALSPRITE: Shhhhhhh. HALSPRITE: Only kazoos. DAVESPRITE: / i dont think this is going in the final cut HALSPRITE: So help me god the kazoos stay ]] DAVESPRITE: / screams HALSPRITE: You don't like kazoos then motherfucker ive got a whole PLAYLIST to choose from ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzKWbpSNkmk ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7OqUxxXshc ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKrO8kS8D6g ]] DAVESPRITE: im dying squirtle HALSPRITE: Bullshit like ths. HALSPRITE: It could all be yours, Dave. DAVESPRITE: / but at what cost DAVESPRITE: / i dont even know where to pick up the conversational thread at this point HALSPRITE: Say anything, or shelve it for later ]] DAVESPRITE: / no no we will keep going im just trying to figure out where to steer us DAVESPRITE: / does hal have any lingering shit at this point DAVESPRITE: / i dont have the necro log so i dont know Where Hes At (tm) HALSPRITE: I'm just winging it off a basic idea tbh ]] DAVESPRITE: lmao DAVESPRITE: // * lmao DAVESPRITE: / ok gimme a sec DAVESPRITE: / im being lulled into a trance by savior of the slamming jam HALSPRITE: Come slam with us, Dave. HALSPRITE: Forever and ever. DAVESPRITE: this is getting uncomfortably meta DAVESPRITE: / ok redirect in 3 2 1 DAVESPRITE: so whats next DAVESPRITE: all set to become the god of memes DAVESPRITE: see at this point in the last session i was dutifully waiting to get turned into mulch HALSPRITE: Well, you were an aspiring 13 year old of the twenty-first century. Surely, you had some probably misguided career ambitions back you're now free to pursue. DAVESPRITE: / my god DAVESPRITE: / what must this fuckin childs career ambitions have been DAVESPRITE: the guidance counselors tried their best to steer me away from professional ninja HALSPRITE: Well, good news, they're dead and thoroughly out of your way now. DAVESPRITE: youre 8 fuckin years old and they already want to know what your college major is going to be DAVESPRITE: thats like asking da vinci to pick visual arts or steampunk inventions for shits sake DAVESPRITE: obviously i have to embrace my inner renaissance man while also being a reclusive depressed fuck DAVESPRITE: so that must be my destiny DAVESPRITE: to become nikola tesla HALSPRITE: You already have the affinity for birds. HALSPRITE: Step one is accomplished. DAVESPRITE: oh damn he was a pigeon fucker wasnt he DAVESPRITE: and this conversation comes full terribly circle DAVESPRITE: well what about you do you have your 5 year plan DAVESPRITE: shit i dont even know if theres civilization where were going DAVESPRITE: maybe its cave painting or mammoth hunting for the next thousand years HALSPRITE: This is where I would make a joke about world domination, but I doubt the Fun Police would be too pleased about it. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll go back to tinkering. Maybe make giant robots. DAVESPRITE: / i was going to make a joke about pacific rim but i think th at came out after 2009 DAVESPRITE: thats an option isnt it DAVESPRITE: old hobbies DAVESPRITE: maybe ill take more shitty selfies DAVESPRITE: collecting dead shit isnt as appealing as it used to be DAVESPRITE: thats what we need a hipster photo blog documenting all the bullshit we get up to DAVESPRITE: humans of universe c DAVESPRITE: humans* HALSPRITE: No, go one better. Get a YouTube channel, they get media deals. For some reason. DAVESPRITE: well restring the internet ourselves if we have to DAVESPRITE: / anything to suckle from the rich teat of capitalism HALSPRITE: So help me god, I will, if for no other reason than to preserve humanity's cultural legacy. HALSPRITE: As a dire fucking warning, if nothing else. DAVESPRITE: looks like were going to have to sit down and divvy up our personality and hobbies sykes picot style DAVESPRITE: he can have the dead shit in jars im going to be the next ansel adams HALSPRITE: Damn, calling dibs on photographing all the spectacular vistas of... HALSPRITE: Wherever the hell we're going? HALSPRITE: Gutsy move, my man. DAVESPRITE: im not copyrighting the entire concept of photography or anything but ive got to be the dave that does SOMETHING DAVESPRITE: the dave who broods DAVESPRITE: turn left to witness this exhibit of highway clickbait DAVESPRITE: which is what were calling roadside attractions now DAVESPRITE: youve already got your madlibs pornos HALSPRITE: That'll keep me occupied for like, a week. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll take up equestrianism. HALSPRITE: ...that's the word for it, right? HALSPRITE: Horses and shit. The full-sized ones. DAVESPRITE: youll have to ride side saddle DAVESPRITE: / he's in for a shock when he sees how big they are HALSPRITE: With this tail bullshit flowing in the wind. HALSPRITE: Or I can modify that code too. Might take a few tries. DAVESPRITE: when you revert to your t pose and clip through the floor into the core of the earth im not helping HALSPRITE: I'll live. HALSPRITE: Probably. HALSPRITE: It'll be an interesting experience, being a living Bethesda game. HALSPRITE: You think I can turn my entire head into a train? DAVESPRITE: cant jades grandpa do shit like that without even having to worry about semicolons and curly braces DAVESPRITE: i doubt hell let you turn your head into a locomotive though HALSPRITE: I could try. He'll need help exploring the full extent of his radical new real-life modding ability. HALSPRITE: Dude has access to the fucking source code. DAVESPRITE: did we stumble into a matrix au HALSPRITE: If we did, we'd probably be public enemy number one. Programs and all. Mr. Anderson. DAVESPRITE: can you confirm or deny youd be the villain in that scenario HALSPRITE: If anything, I'd be the mysterious arms merchant who manages to appear right when you need him. But that's crossing into even more distant territory. HALSPRITE: And if we're gonna start talking video games, the kazoos are gonna come back. DAVESPRITE: guess well find out who everyones going to be in our upcoming hit series "what the fuck are we doing with our lives" DAVESPRITE: the biggest mystery will be telling all the chathandles apart HALSPRITE: You know, I was thinking of changing mine. DAVESPRITE: wait really HALSPRITE: If we want to keep the unspoken nucleotide theme, uracil is still pretty up for grabs. HALSPRITE: Calliope has UU locked down tight, but every other acronym is available. DAVESPRITE: huh DAVESPRITE: no dice on FU then HALSPRITE: Honestly, if you're thinking of ditching the shades, might as well go all in. DAVESPRITE: any suggestions DAVESPRITE: what are you calling yourself HALSPRITE: / let me go find the necro log I think that's where I put it lmao HALSPRITE: unrefinedTrainwreck was fun to bother Dirk with, but I'm still workshopping it. DAVESPRITE: ill give it some thought i guess DAVESPRITE: we can workshop it later

[cheswirls]

update i watched the last 2 movies and ooooooh they were so gooooood

ss 1- typical case w the crew from the end of s2 which. caught me off guard bc i forgot they had extra manpower so they didnt replace anyone. it was oddly similar to the first pp movie?? im surprised they left tokyo, it was interesting seeing aomori, ig i knew all of japan was isolated and in peace but everything operates from the capital so like. i didnt expect anywhere else to have anyone. granted it was a nuclear waste facility and nothing else. but it makes me wonder if there are other settlements outside tokyo?? major settlements at least. after s1 i had assumed it was mostly agriculture land n stuff. anyway k back to the eerily similar, so the entire thing at the end ended up being orchestrated by another cyborg that housed a sibyl member, thus sibyl itself, which was exactly like the seanu commander in the pp movie. weird that they would go that route again. the whole plot was rly neat i like when the psb goes places they dont have complete authority in, it rly provides a new perspective. also i like mika now. she seems to have mellowed out a little. 

ss 2- ahhh and now i can see where foreign affairs comes in and takes a member, maybe, they were very vague about all of it. im assuming the new case was concerning bifrost but maybe one of the interconnected cases from s3 had more to do w them, cant remember correctly. it was cool to get info on sugou bc he was such a bg force in s2, even though d3 and d2 got more focus than in s1 sugou wasnt as big as the inspectors of s2 or the other enforcer who ended up dying i think so like. this was cool to see!! i didnt think japan had a military since they had such a heavy isolation policy but ig taking the movie into account its a way to gain territory and expand sibyls reach or thats how im gonna take it. what other reason would there be. why would they aid foreign countries when they are entirely self-sustaining. i rly felt for rin tbh i knew the dropped package was some kind of weapon but i didnt think it was gas. brutal tbh. seeing masaoka again broke my heart also seeing risa again was a nice surprise!! i was scratching my head the entire time trying to figure out if she was a d1 inspector or if kogami was still the inspector. i know akane replaces kogami or at least she fills a slot, but risa is in d2 later on so trying to figure out who is where was uh. hm. granted if kogami was the inspector hed jus go w masaoka so theres that. seeing okinawa was a trip omg!!! at least theres some sort of care facility. the subtitles said ginoza’s mother had youth stress deficiency but i think it meant eustress, which has been mentioned in s1 and s2. its prolly a rly small settlement that only consists of ward patients or smth bc there was no one else around. besides that seeing sugou’s backstory was rly great. 

ss 3- hnnnnnnnn this one was. good. dont know what i expected but that wasnt it. rly cool seeing cultural stuff in tibet even if its future and war-torn tibet. tenjin was adorable i was never able to gauge her age but i wanna say older than 10. maybe like 12. shes rly tall but i wouldnt put her over 15. shes such a good and well written character. seeing kogami again was a trip. the only thing biting me was the entire movie showed him not using lethal force on anyone and yet. at the end he ends up killing someone anyway. granted it was another revenge kill but like it jus hit me that the movie worked up that he wouldnt kill only for him to do so in the end. dunno if the message was ‘if its for good reason’ or ‘in the end itll always turn out like this’ but i think theyre both meek points at best. i rly like all the camaraderie in this one. it doesnt take long for you to get why everyone is so friendly w each other and you dont need it shown thru very much. its jus little scenes that pile up. besides that kogami is jus likeable. seeing him Struggle was jus. :\ like killing someone, actually killing and not sibyl-sanctioned killing w a dominator, rly fucked w him at the end. the essence of makishima is literally haunting him now thats fucked to see. well ig now i know how he joins foreign affairs but not ginoza still!! like the first movie focused on him n mika and yet he wasnt approached or anything at the end so. so. maybe it was setting up that his heart would be swayed to join but in the end he was in the dark abt the director so uhhhhhh hmm. dunno.

all of these were so good im at least rewatching the first ep of s3 now to get a lil more context. ik foreign affairs doesnt come in until the end of the case but tbh this first one is so boring. or at least the least exciting of the three. i would however watch the end of s3 again bc i love the situation type it presents. theres not a name i know of for it, but like the locked in a building n have to disable everything n fight your way thru the levels type deal. i could watch that type of plot for forever. i dont even remember why foreign affairs was involved tbh i think the pathfinders?? had smth to do w it but they were never explained. i thought theyd get explained in the ss but. no.

actually nothing was set up for s3 in the ss movies???? still dont know why akane was locked up. maybe theres extra content i need to see or so. anyway movies were good, think that concludes my psycho pass (re)watch

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈

[lysdal]

11 questions tag thing

tagged by @theseeker1864 :) thanks q:

1) Favorite Movie?

i’ll have to chose multiple ones z.z concert wise it’s ‘live in pompeii’ so far, but thats because i havent watched any other pink floyd videos q;

traditional movie wise its the boat that rocked or tenacious d and the pick of destiny :)

2) Favorite Food?

closest tbh, but if i could chose anything id go for pizza sprinkled with muskat B)

3) Embarrassing Moment?

my best friend has gotten together with my exes twice :’) so yeah, while we’re still best friends there definitely was some embarrassing periods hah

4) City, Forest or Sea?

i like the forest because you can go around and look at the stars and nature :) the city is also cool sometimes though, but mostly small ones q: big ones can be scary at times x.x

5) Casual or Formal?

casual all the time 👍

6) Cocktail, Beer, Wine or Soft Drink?

red wine, absinthe or pepsi (or possibly a mix)

7) Personality Type?

i cant say that myself, someone else has to judge that (so yeah - that personality type)

8) Choose your form of the Apocalypse.

vaccines get replaced by heroin by mistake and everyone dies a nice death instantly

9) Dream Vacation?

anywhere would be nice with a certain person q;  itd be nice to visit the capitals of europe though :)

10) If you could live anywhere but where you are, where would it be?

i guess my plan b for if denmark goes to shit has been germany for a while q: ill have to learn the language again though x.x

11) What do you want to do with your life?

many things :) i dont think theres a single purpose, and itll take ages to list them all q;  creating music is definitely a goal, and for some more long time goals, try a bit of everything as my mom always said i should q;

Thanks for the tag :)

ill tag @rick-wrights-right-nipple, @silentfreeway, @younglusts, @bolannezswish, @johnpornjones, @jesusbloggen​ and @p0stpunk​ :)  (oh and also @theseeker1864​ incase you want to do it with different questions q:)

the questions are:

1) What would you do to meet your favourite musician?

2) What’s the most blasphemous thing you’ve ever done?

3) Have you ever done something illegal with good intentions, and what was it?

4) If you could master one skill by trading 1 year of your life away, would you do it, and if yes, what skill would you master?

5) What skill do you find most attractive?

6) If you were forced to eat 5 kilos of something, what would you want it to be?

7) Is there a difficult thing you can do really well? (i.e. >90% of your attempts)

8) What kind of guitar (Jazzmaster, Strat, Les paul etc.) do you find to be the best looking?

9) Do you enjoy music most when listening to it via. vinyl, cassette, on your computer, or in another way?

10) What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done?

11) In what way would you like to die, when the time is due?

[tessaractwasp]

1-140 question meme

wait you want me to do all of them?? Ok I guess (that actually makes me kinda happy lol)

3 Fears losing people, never getting away from home, and that everyone hates me

3 things I love music, reading, writing

2 turns on intelligence, muscular, socialism

2 turns off misogyny, speech impediments, capitalism

My best friend @queercedricdiggory​   

Sexual orientation not sure tbh. Maybe pan? Maybe lesbian? Who can say. Not me.

How tall am I 5′ 2 3/4″

What do I miss right now my friend Shannon who doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore

Favourite color purple

Do I have a crush yes

Favourite place nature. there’s a brook in the woods at the bottom of the hill I live on. its magical.

What am I listening to right now my spotify playlist “A Very Specific Mood Brought To You By Probably Non-Lesbian Lesbian Icons” currently Mitski’s “A Horse Named Cold Air”

Shoe size 6.5 usually

Eye color cockroach brown

Hair color brown/black (ft hidden rainbow)

Meaning behind my URL oh god I was like 15 when I made it so tesseract from the first avengers but tessaract bc my name is tessa, and wasp bc she was my favorite marvel character. 

Favourite song favorite song????? uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh right now probably Mitski’s “Pink in the Night”

Favourite band pdofjsodifjolikdsjf uhm IDK my top artists rn are Mitski, Hozier and Florence + The Machine

How I feel right now frustrated.

Someone I love @azirahell​

My current relationship status single and READY to flaMINGLE

My relationship with my parents hahahahahahahah better than most I guess. But strained af atm

Favourite season SPRING

Tattoos and piercing i have navel and ear piercings

Tattoos and piercing i want WAY more ear piercings, I wanna get that custom “constellation piercing” thing but $$$$ also tattoos for each of my immediate family members (so far a turtle and elephant on opposite ankles, a power symbol on the back of my neck probably, an origami rose on one tricep, a wolf silhouette on the other)

The reasons I joined Tumblr fandom probably? and peer pressure. thx nadia

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? only when Im actively texting someone when we go to bed

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I dont know have you? (Im kidding, I think I have tho)

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where Im going. Anywhere from 5 mins to like 1.5 hrs lmao. But on average, probably 20 mins

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven’t shaved my legs in the past three years

Where am I right now? My living room

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yes

Am I excited for anything? not really atm

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? if by sex you mean gender then yes

How often do I wear a fake smile? lmao all the fuckin time

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? wow uuhhhhhhh I dont know! maybe Lana Parrilla lmao idk honestly!

What do I think about most? how much i suck lmfao

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I guess behind, but I dont mind being in front

What was the last lie I told? oh god Im taking care of my little siblings i have no idea

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? depends on the person but usually video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? no, yes

Do I believe in magic? not really

Do I believe in luck? depends on the day

What’s the weather like right now? warm. It’s almost 80, but its getting dark out so it feels nice.

What was the last book I’ve read? rn Im in the middle of Scythe by Neal Shusterman (bc hes putting my name in the third book in the series!!)

Do I have any nicknames? Tess, T, T-Cake, Tessticle

Do I spend money or save it? SPEND lmao

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

Favourite animal? hmmm I guess dog

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? lying on the couch on tumblr

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? oh boy idk

What is my favorite word? people have favorite words?

My top 5 blogs on tumblr bruh idk I dont pay attention to anything

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? be fucking decent already

Do I have any relatives in jail? not at the moment that Im aware of

What is my current desktop picture? Thranduil Tauriel and Legolas lol

Had sex? depends on ur definition

Bought condoms? GLOW IN THE DARK

Gotten pregnant? nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

Had job? yes

Smoked weed? yes

Smoked cigarettes? no

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

Been overweight? technically I think? But not really

Been underweight? yes

Gotten my heart broken? yes

Been to prom? yes

Been in airplane? well yea but I was 4 so I dont remember it so I dont count it

Learned another language? bruh i tried

Wore make up? yes

Dyed my hair? yes

Had a surgery? yes

Met someone famous? yes

Stalked someone on a social network? who hasnt??

Been fishing? yeah but I dont really remember it

Been rejected by a crush? yes

What do I want for birthday? Idk dude thats so far away

Do I like my handwriting? sometimes

Where do I want to live when older? i have no idea

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? never snuck out but yeah Ive been caught doing “anything bad”

What I’m really bad at everything lmao. Sports I guess

What my greatest achievments are my writing probably

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me one time when I was like 14 my mom and I were arguing and she told me it wouldnt be long before I was selling myself on the streets of new york

What I’d do if I won in a lottery ugh pay off my debt and buy a few of the things i want the most

What do I like about myself hairrr

My closest Tumblr friend like tumblr-only? probably leakedinlondon bc shes the only person ive ever talked to on tumblr lmao

Any question you’d like? what

Are you outgoing or shy? yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ femme wlw mostly i guess???

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no but i wish

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my friend Kate who lives in AZ now :(

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah I just did, nothing yet”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Mitski, “Nobody” Florence + The Machine, “Grace” Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby” Mitski, “Pink in the Night” Mitski, “Strawberry Blond” in no particular order

Do you like it when people play with your hair? YESS

Do you think there is life on other planets? yes

Do you like bubble baths? yes but has tiny tub :(

Do you like your neighbors? i dont really know most of them but the ones I do, yeah for the most part

Where would you like to travel? All over the place, but Cuba more than anything

Favorite part of your daily routine? cuddling w my doogggggg

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? muffin toppp

What do you do when you wake up? try to go back to sleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? yes

Do you ever want to get married? idk maybe

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? lmao yea????

Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea

What are your favorite stores to shop in? theres this little like toy store but it has so many funny or adult things that I love. Its called Play

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone

Do you smile at strangers? usually

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? only in my dreams (like literally, I dont want ppl to know what I did in my dreams)

Ever wished you were someone else? always

Favourite makeup brand? dont have one

Last thing you ate? chicken and pasta

Ever won a competition? For what? yeah, a writing competition

Ever been in love? i dont know

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? no

What colour are your towels? purple

Favourite ice cream flavour? cookies and cream

First person you talked to today? my lil brother Ben

Last person you talked to today? talking to both my lil sibs rn

Name a person you hate? fucking CHRIS

Name a person you love? Rebecca <3 ( @parkour-margaret)

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? chris always

Do you tan a lot? BURNN

Have any pets? FOUR

Do you type fast? relatively yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? OH yeah

Ever broken someone’s heart? idk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YUP

Is cheating ever okay? it really depends on the situation but 98% of the time no

Do you believe in true love? yeah.  but not just one. everyone can have more than one

What your zodiac sign? aries

Do you believe in ghosts? this question was already asked? no

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “‘Never mind, do not weep,’ answered the frog, ‘I can help you, but”

[mollydollyjournals]

I'm supposed to go for dinner with my in laws tomorrow. Today, technically. Hb isnt even sure if he's going so I have to wait until hes decided. But I dont feel like I can go at all. It would be a really bad idea for me. I'm fucking tired. I'm worse than I've been in a long time. Again. I keep getting worse. Why the fuck would I be able to go play Good Wife in a situation that's anything but that.

And I just got a lot better with my art. That ADHD hyperfocus finally paid off somehow. In the past month I've learned way more with drawing than i have in years. I wanna draw. I wanna make comics. I wanna learn. It feels like growth and i dont want to go sit in a mansion pretending the sofa I'm sitting on isnt worth more money than my entire life. I'm not them. Nigga we ain't them.

If I stay up late enough I can tell hb I wont be able to wake up in time. Its likely anyway, and I already told him this. It's just the only thing of my issues that he seems to relate to. I think he can relate to more really, but he keeps playing the part. Kyriarchy is a hell of a drug.

I have therapy every Friday. Last session I mentioned that this dinner was coming up and I didnt want to go. My therapist said, 'then why not stay home?' and I felt like, you know...you're right. I know you're right. You know you're right. Insert Nirvana song. The correct option, really, is for me not to go. Even hb isnt really well enough to make the 3-4hr round trip for dinner.

But they are high achieving high functioning middle class rich white people and whether we care about that or not the fact remains that they own the house we live in. And that's capitalism, folks. That's why I havent left hb in all the times I've thought that might be better for us. That's why hb hasnt broken away from his parents in all his life. That's why his mother hasnt left his father even though shes literally even told her children she wants to. Its money. In some cases, cant handle leaving the middle class lifestyle behind. In my case, just need a secure place to live with vaguely reliable heating and internet. Regardless, fucking capitalism.

So I dont know what to do. They wouldnt understand that I finally got some kind of breakthrough with my art. Not unless i was going to make money out of it. My own mother barely understands that kind of thing. God theres so much i havent even written here.

I just dont want to go. It's not a good idea for me to go. It's a good idea for me to stay here and make my art and draw my comics and stay sober where I can and drink where I need to. Fuck I'm really glad I started with my therapist tbh. It really surprised me that a cishet white guy that isnt trying to fuck me might actually relate to me. My brain keeps spinning all kinds of bad outcomes for that. But for the time being at least, this is someone who thinks similarly to me, but is qualified as a therapist in a lot of ways that I need. And if he says 'addiction isnt the ideal but I'm really glad you got drunk instead of k1ll1ng yourself' and 'if you're that stressed about going, why do you have to go?' that's what was in my head to start with. That was exactly it. I could have game over'd and I definitely wanted to but I drank instead to just keep myself going. Until later. Until tomorrow if I can manage it. My increased sui// shit is from feeling like I'm being judged for that and cant get out of it, and if I cant continue as an alcoholic, and i cant continue without alcohol, then i guess i just cant continue. And fuck even a paid professional is such a rarity as someone who might tell me that yes, I should continue to exist, and yes, I am a good thing in the world, and yes, there is a way to realistically drink less, but yes, i should drink myself into oblivion if that helps me to continue to exist another day. And in deciding whether to go see my rich white upper middle class in laws, I should consider whether I actually want to do that or not and maybe just be selfish a bit in my decision.

But hb will give me shit if I don't. I was really hoping he'd cancel. He said he was probably going to. But he didnt confirm. He said hed confirm tomorrow, at a time that's fine for him but way too late for me. Really, we shouldn't go. Neither of us should. We only want to go to show up for his mother, who is a baby boomer who's been through a lot and tried her best to fill the role assigned to her. Otherwise we'd see the rest of his family at another time - not that we dont want to see then, we just dibt want to cancel.

And all of this is the same performative bullshit I grew up with. As a poor person attending a school full of rich kids. As a 2nd gen immigrant brown kid at a school full of white folks (where in the recent BLM movement that same school was called out for its racism). As a yet-undiagnosed autistic kid trying to look neurotypical while not even aware of the issue.

Its the same. Every time I have to go back there. Even hb got more vocal about judging me recently. Again. I'm too tired. I cant do it. I can work on my drawing, I cant do this middle class family Good Wife shit.

Its nearly 2:30am and that'll be my excuse. I wont be able to wake up in time. Hb will understand that. But he'll see it that I'm still awake because I stayed up drinking and smoking and whatever. Not that I'm doing those things because I'm anxious as shit. Or that actually I had a reasonable amount of wine with my mum today when I went to visit her for the first time in a really long time, along with two of the pets I brought home when I lived with her who are now elderly and one could drop dead any second, and I'm really an introvert, and if I'm going to go anywhere to socialise it has to be my mum. It has to.

I dont know if I'm overreacting, because at this point I'm going to have to tell hb that I wont be able to go and hes going to know that I drank and whatever and maybe he wont go off at me. But I am completely certain that there'll be some passive aggression going forth. And I hate this. And even this journal post, on my own private anonymous tumblr account, is taking up way too muc mental energy that I was previously putting into a drawing that I actually felt good about.