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cosmosrival · 4 years ago

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Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away-

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner.

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

#answered #long post #SORRY FOR THE BIG SCROLL.

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colourful-void · 5 years ago

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Hoshiai no Sora Fan Movie Breakdown/Theory/I don’t know

Yeah I went mad so imma do theories now I guess. rip homework and fic.

spoilers for the fan movie, which is like 3 minutes and on youtube so just head over there, theres a link up here somewhere.

So first off, where’d the student council go?

Prez dances alone despite usually having some people watching and clapping behind her. They’re just gone!

Most of the first half is reused footage, so theres not much Ill break down, at least for now.

Once the outro is done, we cut to the final moments of Hoshiai Episode 12, as if we haven't had that scene burned into our brains.

Once that ends, we cut to this little card:

Which I think means two years later (according to this post which is honestly a way better post than mine, go read it.)

and then this card which according to google translate says ‘living that time’ I dont think thats right.

Let’s note we’ve returned to black on white background, and not the coloured on black of the title card at the end.

One of the best OST’s in the show plays (imo) and we get a little montage.

Rintarou and Taiyou go to the same school, good for them! They’re trying to get members for a soft tennis team (probably) but everyone around them is uninterested. They have more colour then anyone else in the shot, and are given more detail. part of that is because no one does background characters, but I think theres some symbolism there with them having their own little world of soft tennis, especially since Rintarou and Taiyou are known as the more energetic and friendly (or colourful!) members of the team. There’s also a baseball team walking in the background which I find interesting.

Tsubasa is angry and still playing tennis. If we follow his line of sight we find he’s glaring at (or at least guiding us to) the people in the back longing around and not playing. I can think of two reasons why he’s upset. One: because of everything that happened season one, he takes the game seriously and dislikes people slaking off. or two because it reminds him of his old team. I think one is more likely than two though. yet again anyone who isnt a main character isnt coloured in.

Shingou????? Is now at a strict school I guess?? The thing that stands out here isnt really him being at this school, (his parents could totally send him off) but he looks happy. Proud even. Not only is that contrary to the Shingou we know, but look around him. The background characters dont have eyes but they sure do have frowns. they’re also really gray, unlike Shingou.

iTSUKI GOT TALLER?? Lets note some things! The background characters have gone from being tinted a bit grey to entirely monochrome. The other characters have backpacks like Itsuki (idk the name but they hold tennis rackets) by beyond that, Itsuki doesn’t fit into the scene at all. Beyond just the colour, he’s not looking at the other boys, and it doesn't seem much like the other boys are looking at him. you could crop him out of the scene and the boys would look perfectly normal. The boys are also all wearing ties where Itsuki has a hoodie, giving him another way to stand out.

Now where everyone else had a still that zoomed in, we turn to my son, Nao.

He gets 5 shots, two of which are animated.

Note that when we see Nao’s hand all bandaged, the music takes a bit of a dip, making a static noise a bit like what we hear in some Nao scenes, or like a ghost.

So: Nao doesn’t play tennis anymore, clearly he either misses it or something, but in whatever case he thinks about it, and watches the others play. More than just play, he watches them celebrate.

Now look at the other boys who approach Nao. We get a bad vibe on instinct. I could be wrong, but it looks like the boy on the far right is the same boy who watched as another bully talked to Itsuki and then got bashed for it. Mainly just due to hair and him wearing a mask around his chin, which we haven't seen a single other character do. Actually, I dont think we’ve ever seen a Hoshiai character wear a mask, so it stands out.

Now, Nao’s knuckles are bandaged, which suggests he punched someone or something. I cannot picture him doing this. WE can see the bandages aren’t even, so he probably placed them himself, who whoever did it, did with little care.

Nao says: something. I can’t read lips or speak Japanese, but im not sure what Nao says is even readable. It has no audio, but the spooky noises continue. Music is now gone.

Cut to black.

Bird noises! Maki is watching their old sitting spot from afar, suggesting reminiscence.

Maki says something! I don’t know what, According to the other post, translated here on twitter, he says:

"Let's leave it be. He probably just doesn't want to see me again"

So that’s likely refering to Touma, or possibly his father but I doubt that highly.

Note: Everyone keeps their distance from Maki, Arashi still has his tennis bag, Mitsue has a very nice uniform and Yuu has a new bag I think, which is pink. Very cute.

Yuu is the only one we don’t see in any uniform (itsuki didnt have the tie but he had a jacket) so we don't know what school they go to, of what uniform they wear. Yuu and Mitsue stand close together, so we ca assume that friendship lives on.

I won't do shots of all of Touma’s dialogue but here's some:

And of course the most important shot,

Now: Touma is saying in this scene, thanks again to twitter, translator’s tweet is here go leave a like,

"It's pointless. He has no game sense. Why does he make the same mistakes? There's no point in continuing like this. Whatever. I'll find someone else"

So like the beginning, Touma is fed up with fellow soft tennis players.

Maki and Touma meet on a street corner and Touma frowns. Maki remains neutral.

long shot as they stare at each other and a train goes by.

credits roll.

So time for my final thoughts and theories and things I want to mention.

Maki hurt Touma with the knife. I know, its bad I dont wanna think it, but like,,, Occam’s Razor.

Whatever happened with maki’s dad, he didn’t get kicked out of school, he didn’t die, and he doesn't gotten any life long injuries

No one’s parents are ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE PV. for a show so dedicated on these kids relationships with their parents, that is striking. We don’t even see family members.

No teachers are seen either.

Aside from the beginning we don’t see student prez at all.

Why does Nao get extra screen time? like do not get me wrong I love him but everyone else only got one shot.

Background characters are near always painted in greys wand without eyes, except for whoever Touma was yelling at and the others in that scene. they still don't have eyes though, which is probably just because they’re background characters.

Most characters are alone, except for Rintarou and Taiyou, and the gang during Maki’s line.

Things aren’t looking good.

SO those are my thoughts/theories, hope you liked them, I'm gonna go cry over my son becoming a delinquent, good night!

#hoshiai no sora #stars align #maki katsuragi #touma shinjou #rintaro futsu #ishigami taiyou #nao tsukinose #frick it im not tagging everyone #knife mention #sry if this is bad im tired

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shsldepressedlesbian · 5 years ago

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Few questions to help both us n you get to know the passengers on this cruise to hell better! 1,upon first glance what something someone would immediately notice abt your ocs appearance? 2,does your ocs Like their talent? This says a lot about them as people and feel free to go into detail why or why not they do. 3,do any of the cast have any character quirks? Be it in speech or otherwise

hey this looks fun :0

Yuuki: i think its safe to say the many assortments of flowers she wears in her hair. while she isnt a gardener or anything, one of her siblings is, and they often send flowers to her. yuuki, in turn, usually mends them all into a flower crown, or even plain just puts a single flower into her hair.

Emica: when it comes to it, i suppose her traditional japanese arm band, symbolising her stance on the student council. her many different necklaces is a close competitor.

Arata: he dresses like he just walked out of a time loop from england 1930s. i think thats pretty noticeable-

Mitsuo: the unhealthily dark bags under his eyes, and the very pale skin which does not go well with his very bright, red hair.

Asuka: her very rich, haughty aura. and even though anyone would hate to admit it, shes borderline very attractive.

Manabu: he looks like he came from a very formal ball, not to mention it would be hard to miss the variety of shiny crystals he wears as bracelets.

Seiichi: at first glance, people might say he looks like he just had a ruffle with someone- but if you pay attention, he actually really is neat and tidy- aside from his tie.

Tamotsu: at first glance, people would probably compare him to indiana jones when it comes to his outfit choice. he doesnt deny these comparsions.

Kamiko: her sunhat, for sure. theyre usually wide brimmed, though fashionable. the second thing is probably the many ‘luck charms’ she wears as accesories.

Kenta: how he looks much stronger than he actually is. also his sneakers. everyone notices the sneakers. even if you arent a fan of footwear, you WILL notice his sneakers.

Chieko: chieko is very… ordinary looking. in fact, her normalness compared to any other ultimate is probably the first thing youll ever notice. it actually makes her stand out.

Masa: the first youll notice about masa is her sheer size of accesories. bracelets, rings, hair pins, and necklaces galore. if you pay enough attention, youll actually notice she and tamotsu have matching necklaces.

Fumiko: a notable thing about fumikos appearance is how… scandalous her outfit is. fumiko isnt shameful at all about how much skin shes exposing; though it never gets too crazy. usually. hopefully.

Kohaku: there is nothing really abnormal about kohaku, other then their very bright mint color scheme. the reading glasses hanging from a small chain on the front of their suit is also something noteworthy.

Aika: the first thing youll notice about aika is the fact that her coat is almost completely made out of buttons- each one she sewed onto it herself. for someone who youd expect look to have come out of the 1990s, she has a reasonable modern feel to her clothes.

Satoru: at first glance, you could see satoru as, to be frank, a vsco boy. his casual outfit, sunglasses, and jacket with many pins relating to saving the ocean can give off that feel. however, he resents the stereotypes of ‘vsco’. also, its hard to tell if his murky hair is either white or grey.

Usagi: the first thing youll notice about usagi is the fact she always looks like shes prepared for a hike. her backpack, casual but warm outfit wear, and always pulled up hair can give that impression.

Yuuki: yuuki has a soft spot for her talent, considering how it dates back to her grandmother, and its always been something shes been experienced with. its fair to say yuuki likes her talent.

Emica: emica really doesnt consider herself worthy of her talent. the only reason she got it, afterall, is because of her dad, not to mention this fact has caused her a fair amount of nasty envy with her fellow classmates. still, she tries to honor her responsibility of being student council president. emica doesnt particularly like her talent.

Arata: if theres one thing arata is proud of, its his talent. hes been into history since he was a small child- and to have his research celebrated is his dream come true. he can, however, be a little cocky about it. he really does consider himself the best historian in history. arata likes, and is very proud of, his talent.

Mitsuo: he wont even tell anyone what his talent is. i wonder why…

Asuka: whether or not asuka enjoys her talent is left to debate. it is, however, for sure something she uses to her advantage. shes part of the main student council! of course everyone has to respect her, right? she also considers being the treasurer ‘finally’ a way to use her social skills and knowledge with mathematics to use. asuka likes her talent.

Manabu: manabu was always expected to be helpful in the study of outer space. his whole family line consisted of astronomers, astronauts, astrophysicists, and more. manabu had to choose his career at a young age, and he decided on astrogeology. this didnt mean manabu was stuck in the career. or, at least, he was, until an opportunity arrived. yet even when he got it, he decided not to take it. manabu always had a soft spot for astrogeology, though perhaps if he didnt have his current family line, he would have become the ultimate of a different talent. manabu likes his talent, though that may only be because of his history.

Seiichi: seiichis history of slam poetry goes all the way back to elementary. its his form of venting, if you will, as even though he comes across as nervous, his head is filled with anger at the world. but also hope, of making a new one. a better one. he considers being invited to attend sailing integrity was just a plus to his journey. seiichi likes his talent.

Tamotsu: tamotsu has been interested in tombs and the history of egypt for a long time. the closest thing he could find to fulfilling his interests was becoming a tour guide to show people around said tombs, and he found himself having fun, rehearsing facts and making the otherwise gloomy places bright. making tourists days a little more fun was good enough for him. tamotsu quite likes his talent.

Kamiko: kamikos talent was always something that she did as a fun hobby. sewing tapestries that told fascinating tales was always something she was invested in. and the many tales she sewed was really the only things that kept her company while she kept herself locked in her room. however, even if she likes her talent, she was not a fan of being recognized for it, and being coaxed by her parents to attend the academy. kamiko likes her talent, but isnt a fan of being the ‘ultimate’ of it.

Kenta: if we were being real here, kenta is very… neutral on his talent, which is weird for him. the way he learnt it is connected with bad memories, but doing it has always been refreshing to him. a way to run around, blow off steam. he supposes being called deemed the ‘ultimate’ of it isnt that bad. kenta likes his talent, for the majority.

Chieko: being the ultimate chemist wasnt chiekos first choice, but she takes it with dignity. chieko is neutral on her talent.

Masa: masas talent was born out of curiosity, and it grew from it. masas history of interpreting dreams is affiliated with many different emotions and memories. but for the most part, its been positive. she is very into the persona of it, and considers it a chance for her to act all mythical and wise. but, shes just really happy that she got to be a ultimate along with tamotsu. masa likes her talent, especially the attention she gets from it.

Fumiko: fumiko, probably, resents her talent the most out of the cast. its a very constant, confusing, love-hate relationship. she dislikes the title of ultimate lucky student, as she finds it cheesy, which is the whole reason why she calls herself a blackjack player. after talking to her for a bit, it becomes clear she doesnt want her talent to define her, and that she honestly couldnt care less about ultimates and the academies. her whole reason for applying to the lottery seems to stem from family reasons. while she dislikes the academy, she also takes any chance she can to pump her ego around her talent. its confusing, honestly. fumiko is not a fan of her talent.

Kohaku: kohakus murder mystery career started out as a coping method. however, they get very attached to every story and characters they make, putting love into every book, which is the whole reason they got recognized as the ultimate murder mystery novelist. kohaku has pride in becoming the ultimate murder mystery novelist, though they dont consider it a big deal. whether or not they became an ultimate wouldnt have any effect on the future of their career. theyll always write murder mysteries. kohaku likes their talent.

Aika: aika considers her becoming an ultimate a complete ‘accident’. aika isnt especially invested in vintage collecting- she just had a lot of old stuff she posted online, not even realising how old and valuable they really were, and the next thing she knew, the email and letter came. actually, the invitation to sailing integrity is what really made her consider making collecting old items a hobby. secretly, aika is a little insecure of her talent, finding it boring compared to others talents. aika likes her talent, but only to a certain point.

Satoru: satorus want to study the oceans animals has been active for a long time, especially since he was always close to water, considering his parents were fishermen. he finds the thought of the ocean being 95% explored to be highly interesting, and his goal is to crack down another 5% before he dies. becoming the ultimate of what he loved to do was very much a welcomed moment, especially with the promise that the academy would supply him with items that would help reinforce his talent. satoru has always been especially passionate about marine biology. satoru likes his talent.

Usagi: usagi is also very neutral when considering her talent. in fact, her talent is always at the back of her mind when introducing herself. usagi, truthfully, isnt a fan of most of the school referring to her as the ‘ultimate runaway’, considering how many of them paint it as a form of rebelling and thus delinquency. shes just a girl who likes taking sharing nature with the world whilst traveling, and wants others to see that as well. usagi is iffy on her talent.

(hmmm im not sure what your definition of ‘quirks’ are, but here, have this:)

Yuuki: taps her foot an awful lot.

Emica: none visible.

Arate: can you consider writing almost everything down a quirk?

Mitsuo: taps surfaces whenever hes thinking.

Asuka: none visible.

Manabu: none visible.

Seiichi: as noted before, he tugs on his tie when hes nervous. also has a habit of rising his voice when he doesnt mean to.

Tamotsu: has more of an american dialect.

Kamiko: has the iconic danganronpa stutter, hides her face behind her hat.

Kenta: none visible.

Chieko: also has an american dialect, though hers is less apparent then tamotsus.

Masa: has a very cryptic way of speaking, except when she lets normal sentences slip through.

Fumiko: has a bit of a drawl to her voice.

Kohaku: none visible, surprisingly.

Aika: almost always moving, cannot stand completely still.

Satoru: rarely uses h’s if they are at the front of the word.

Usagi: has an unidentifiable accent.

#cruise to despair

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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ask your destiny to dance [6] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“What are you doing here?” Ash’s voice is hostile, and Roger waits with his snare in his arms, just around the corner of the building. He’s not following her, or at least, he didn’t mean to; he’s just packing up his drums, like he did after every show. Sure he was a bit earlier than usual but that didn’t mean anything.

“Sweet girl, I wanted to see you.” The voice is teasing, like she should have know this already, masculine, low, and it makes Roger nauseous. Finally he peers around the edge of the building and catches a better glimpse of the man from the bar, who is now standing less than a foot from a tense and confused Ash who leans against the door to the bar.

“You- why?” Already her voice has softened, but it seems he still makes her uncertain, if the tense set of her shoulders is anything to go by. But then the man’s reaching out, resting his hands on her upper arms. “You’re not mad at me?” She asks, relaxing under his touch, looking up at him with her big, brown eyes. Something in Roger’s gut twists at the sight.

“Of course not, baby girl.” He’s got her accent, Roger realises, and something in his chest tightens as the man places his hands on her shoulders coaxing her away from the door so he can wrap her up in a hug. Roger can see her trembling as she hugs him back, a soft confusion written all over face. “I’ve missed you.” He tells her, voice a murmur, but in the crisp, night air, it’s loud enough that even Roger hears.

“Why are you here, Gus?” Ash is the one who steps back, out of his grip, leaning back against the door. Roger can see her hands shake when she pulls half a cigarette from her breast pocket.

“I wanted to see you again, make sure you’re okay.” And the man, Gus, takes her hands, gently taking the cigarette stub and throwing it away before he laces his fingers with hers. She doesn’t even protest.

“And Kira?” She’d asked, voice so soft that Roger almost didn’t catch it, and the man in question shook his head with a smile as he leaned in, murmuring something that only she could hear, pressing kiss to her cheek.

“Oh, my sweet girl, you look so good.” He mused, voice growing a little louder, stepping back to admire her, and though Roger wants to gag at his tone, syrupy and full of obviously fake revere. Ash actually giggles, and not insincerely. “As beautiful as the day I met you.”

“You think so?” Voice uncharacteristically young and hopeful, it’s so unlike her that Roger’s pushed to the end of his patience, and rounds the corner with his drum in hand, not even acknowledging the pair as he heads for his van, though the way Ash jumps back from the man as if he’d burned her, it does little to ease the discomfort in Roger’s chest.

“Hi!” Suddenly flustered, Ash moves around Gus to stand between him and Roger. He’s not really sure why she’s bothered, there’s so much distance between the back door and the van, but he thinks it might be so that they look less suspicious. It’s not working.

“Hey.” Roger says, tone clipped as he says it, fumbling for his keys as he opens the back doors of the van.

“This is, uh, August.” She’s aware of how strange it sounds, how guilty her words come out, and when Roger’s sat his drum inside the van, he finally turns to get a good look at the man. The man with a hand on Ash’s shoulder, making direct, unflinching eye contact with Roger, smirking.

“August, this is Roger, he’s in the band.” There’s a waiver to her voice that Roger doesn’t like, and he can’t bring himself to smile at her. Everything feels so wrong, and Ash looks so guilty, like she’s been caught red handed.

He’s handsome by any definition, but not by Ash’s usual one. High cheek bones, hair gelled up into a neat quiff with a few sparing grey strands running through it that only served to make him look more distinguished, as did the dark, well groomed stubble on his jaw. He looks to be in his late 40s, in a pressed, well tailored suit, and shoes that Roger would consider too formal for even an explicitly formal event, so out of place in the dingy, pub setting. And his hand is still on Ash’s shoulder.

Roger doesn’t want to think about why it puts him on edge, just knows that it does. August takes long, deliberate strides before he reaches Roger, holding out his hand.

“August Reid.” His smile was sharp, and when Roger took his hand, he held it a little too tight, a show of dominance. “You guys played very well.” It’s the least sincere compliment Roger’s ever received; he wants nothing more than to punch August in his smug face.

“Roger.” After a beat, he leaned against the edge of the van, crossing his arms. “So how do you know Ash?”

“Ashley.” August correct automatically, and Roger can see the way Ash flinches out the corner of his eye, still looking a little mortified, avoiding looking at both of them. August doesn’t see it, his smile widens just a little bit, all sharp teeth. “I taught her back at Saint Andrew’s, I thought I’d stop in while I was in town.”

“He was my Art History professor.” Ash confirms from behind him, and Roger freezes where he’s looking at her. He’s never seen her like this before, demure, shy; she’s always consciously made an effort to appear larger than life, to compensate for her size and sweet looks, but now she looks so young. She can’t even bring herself to meet his gaze, but he can tell she doesn’t know he saw their earlier exchange, if she did know, he thinks she probably wouldn’t be so honest about that.

“Oh,” is all Roger can say, before he snaps out of it, moving past where August is trying to be intimidating, up to Ash who’s leaning against the back door, “Rocket, can you move, I’m trying to pack up.” She doesn’t even fight him on it, tell he can walk around the front the same way as he got here. With the door opens, he hesitates, reaches out to touch her arm, and when she looks at him her expression is surprised as he tilts his head in a silent question, asking if she’s okay.

“What?” She snaps, frowning and shifting out of his grip, a spark of her old fire returning. Roger’s moment of softness receded with his eye roll and he lets the door slam closed behind him. Part of him knows that August was watching the exchange. By the time he’s pulled down the rest of his equipment and is ready to haul it out, Ash is behind the bar, cheery as ever, and August is nowhere to be found.

“I thought you were studying fashion.” Brian muses into the balmy night air. The band had stayed until last call, intrigued about the newcomer, waiting until Ash was taking out the trash for the night to ask her, the four of them chatting around the van, Mary looking quite tired and leaning against Freddie, but enjoying their company..

“I am.” Ash agreed, seemingly back to her old self now that August had left, grinning like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “This isn’t my first go at uni.” She admitted, and Freddie nodded, passing Mary his lit cigarette.

“I thought he was a talent scout or something; he’s well dressed.” Brian half smiled, and Ash chuckled, shaking her head at him, smile bright. "What was his name?” He asked, and Ash looked a little shocked, looking to Roger, who was suddenly avoiding her gaze.

“Rog didn’t tell you guys?” She asked, smile fading a little into confusion, and Roger snorted out a laugh.

“Told them he seemed like a prick.” He scoffed around his cigarette, and Ash flushed, frowning at him.

“Oi, don’t be mean, Rog! It’s just how he is, he’s always been a bit of a-” and for the barest moments they lock eyes and Ash turns a hilarious shade of pink, they both somehow know what she was about to say, he’s always been a bit of a dominant one, but she can’t bring herself to say those words out loud. She doesn’t want to say it for how it would sound, how it would make the others suspicious, but she knows Roger already is, even if she doesn’t know the full extent; it would be funny if the implication didn’t make Roger’s stomach turn, “a bit of an alpha male, you know.” After a beat, she clears her throat. “But yeah, Doctor Reid is my old Art History professor.”

It doesn’t escape Roger the way she doesn’t say his first name.

“What made you change your mind?” Mary yawns, passing the cigarette back to Freddie, and Ash fixes her with a fond smile. Since Freddie had introduced the women, they’d become fast friends, and Roger had never seen anyone as ready to fight as Ash when the dudes start leering at Mary.

“This was the only place that I could do what I wanted to.” And it sounds so honest that Roger’s tempted to believe it, if not for the memory that surfaces.

It’s her, a few months ago, bathed in moonlight, her head on his chest and his arm around her, ‘I was kicked out of uni once before, you know?’ her voice is thoughtful and he laughs, a little incredulous, asks how, but she’s grinning at him with that wicked smile of hers, and does a good enough job of distracting him that he doesn’t even realise she doesn’t give an answer.

“I’m surprised you even remember his last name,” Freddie laughs, “she couldn’t name a single lecturer on our timetable this semester.” And the others laugh, but Ash just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want to know their names, it’s not like we’re gonna be friends,” but she does concede after she turns to head inside, “Doctor Reid is a friend of my dad’s, I’ve known him since I was sixteen.” And she smiles so blithely it somehow takes some of the shock out of her statement for Roger, who chokes on the smoke of his cigarette.

“How did he know you were here?” John’s question cuts through Roger’s spluttering, and Ash stops in her tracks.

“What?” She asked, suddenly confused, a little defensive, as she turns back.

“How did he know you’d be here?” He asks again, so calm and unflinching, not looking away from the sudden flicker of doubt that cross Ash’s face.

“It was coincidence, Deaky; just luck is all.” She says, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. She heads back inside.

The next time they play there, he’s back, and Ash is a sweet, flustered mess, and the dichotomy of this, and who Roger knows her as, is a little shocking. Even Maureen seems concerned, though she doesn’t say anything.

“He’s too old for you.” Roger makes it out the back before Ash does during her usual post-gig break. August went home halfway through the night, and Ash had returned to her normal bright, if a little sultry, bar-persona.

“Excuse me?” She snapped as the door slammed closed, and she looked to where Roger was sitting on her usual milk crate.

“You heard me.” Roger responded, something easing in his chest at the comfort of hearing the hostility in her voice that she’d used when they’d first met. It also hurts a little, to think how he’d prefer the hostility to the cute, blushy mess that August brings out in her. “I saw how he looked at you.”

“Watch your accusations.” She snapped, but there was actual anger in her words, which surprised Roger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She growled, and it was cold hostility; it wouldn’t lead anywhere fun, and Roger didn’t know how to face this. “I’m an adult, dickhead, so don’t think I can’t make my own decisions.” And her accent’s a little stronger, but her words take a moment to process. “He’s a friend-”

“He calls you baby.”

That shocks her into silence, and after a moment, a cruel, cold smile spread over her face. They both know, now, that Roger knows exactly what’s going on between her and August. He’d never been good at anything apart from blurting out exactly what was bothering him, and this time was no different.

“Are you jealous? Were you eavesdropping on us? What the fuck?” And there’s no warmth in her harsh laughter. “This is why I don’t do casual.” She spits, and Roger’s whole face lights up with shock, and he barks out a laugh.

“Jealous? Oh Ashley,” and when he says it, she flinches again, and he regrets using the name almost immediately, but he can’t help digging himself deeper, “no, I’m just interested in what a goddamn doctor, who’s almost fifty, mind you, is doing being interested in a girl like you.”

He watches as she actually has to take a step back, her mouth falling open in shock, eyes suddenly shiny with tears, and he knows he’s fucked up.

“A girl like me...” She whispers it with a laugh, smiling sadly, before finally meeting his gaze. “He... he likes me, Roger.” And fuck, she sounds so vulnerable it’s like a punch to the gut. “After everything I’ve done, he fucking likes me.” And after a beat, she stepped forward. “He still thinks I’m good, and that’s all that matters.”

She cuts her own break short, slamming the door as she heads back inside, leaving Roger to the silence of the car park.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee@smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt@benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric

#roger taylor #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor imagine #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen #queen imagines #ask your destiny to dance fic #the angry lizard writes

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spacenerrrd · 6 years ago

Text

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover: Chapter 5

Sander Sides

Word count: 1,646

Characters: Patton/Creativity, Virgil/Anxiety, Patton/Morality, Logan/Logic

Warnings: Kinda a panic attack, please let me know if I've missed something xox

Summary: Logan runs a library in a small town, allowing him to share his love of books without feeling left out. His business partner and friend Roman helps by running the bright Disney themed cafe that attracts more people to stay for longer. The two clashing but somehow perfect match of a friendship went their days peaceful in their small community until one day a new pair of brother; Patton and Virgil, moved into town and showed the owners a new way of life.

Chapter five: Background

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

~~~

Tap.

Logan's nails were neatly trimmed, looking identical aside from size, which meant the taps sounded almost musical as it went from deep to high pitched. Every time it was the same pattern, tapping quickly beside each other with exactly a second break before the taps started again. He knew his mother would be disappointed, she always thought tapping was as bad as biting nails. But he couldn't help it. It kept him grounding, being able to hear the constant echoing of the surface being disturbed because of him. That he affected something, that he really did do something and wasn't just existing. Learning also did the trick. Getting lost in a book where he could learn about anything and everything made him felt important, especially when it was about space. He didn't like people knowing though. He didn't want them to think he was weird or had a problem. He didn't want to be forced to think that he did it because of his problem like his father told him. This didn't work though, when he couldn't help himself to correct people when they got something wrong or to rant about space for 10 minutes when someone said something as simple as “star”. It made it even more obvious when someone corrected him. He never took criticism well. Especially when he was known as the library owner who can tell you exactly what happens in every single book lined up on the shelves or the tutor who can tell you the first two hundred numbers of pi without a breath. He clutches his hand into a fist and has to physically bite his tongue until it starts to bleed for him to not argue that he was actually right. His world starts to spin and make him sick as he excuses himself to go in the bathroom and sob. He is hardly functional for the rest of the day and he gets no sleep to practice and practice and revise and revise what he got wrong to make sure it never happened again. Roman was the only person around who knew what happens when he got something wrong. He hated people thinking he had something wrong because he didn’t want anyone to think of him as anything different to the knowledge he was. So he tapped his fingers away to keep himself grounded when he couldn’t learn, to not lash out with the emotions he spent so long to keep buried. He tapped away to make sure no one would be able to know anything was wrong, to get rid of his worries through his fingertips, hoping the item being abuse by them would absorb his emotions.

Currently, he was tapping away as he was worried about Lucy. She had come in earlier than usual and went to grab a book that instantly turned Logan’s worries on. With the book Alice In Wonderland in her grasp, she sat down in the farthest corner of the library and hid her face behind it as she started to read. Logan knew that pose. It meant she wasn’t ready to talk about what happened. He couldn’t leave her though. He needed to keep an eye on her, especially when he saw the beaten knuckles holding tightly onto the book and the tears that covered her cheeks when she lowered the book slightly. He was standing there, waiting for the moment where she would put the book down and want someone with her. He needed to make sure he was there for her when it happened. Without knowing it, Logan had taken up a father figure in Lucy’s life and he needed to make sure he protected her at all costs.

“My golly Lo, what did the shelf do to deserve such a harsh beating from your fingers?”

Logan jumped, taking a step back from the shelf. He already could feel the ground leaving his feet as he couldn’t tap anymore. He cleared his throat, making sure no evidence that anything was wrong. “Nothing. I was merely standing here and tapping my fingers. Is there a problem with that?”

“Well of course not! It’s just that you look kinda lost.” Patton’s voice was full of worry and concern, which a friend was suppose to do when your face was becoming more pale by the second as stuff started to spin around you. But Logan just wasn’t use to having a friend yet.

“I, no I’m fine, I just… I need to go to… I got to-” he turned to Lilly but saw Roman already holding her as she seemed way calmer than before.

Wow, you can't even take care of her.

Can you do anything right?

Honestly you should just give up.

“Lo, what’s going on? Can I help?”

“Patton, no, stop!” Logan shouted at him, leaving Patton as well as the other two who heard in the corner as he ran off through the shelves.

Patton stood there, shocked and confused and feeling guilty. He didn’t notice he had started crying until Roman placed a hand on his shoulder and snapped him out of it.

“It’s been a long week for him. It’s not your fault though, I’m sure he’ll tell you soon.” Roman spoke softly, getting a small nod in response. “Come on, we’re going to read some Alice In Wonderland.” Roman walked Patton over to Lucy who was sitting in the bean bag corner. She looked up and gave a soft smile to Patton, it looking a bit strange with the tear stains on her cheek. They all sat down together, the sounds of their breathing and her broken voice reading the sixth chapter of the book calmed them all down.

Roman was doing a final check around the library before closing up. He had sent Lucy and Patton home, of course not before getting a flirt line in with Virgil and was cleaning the stray books from the shelves. Even though he assumed that no one was here, he knew that Logan would somehow find out that he didn’t check and he would rather not get in trouble by an agitated Logan in the morning. The door creaked as he opened it and when the sound of sobs filled his ears he realised that he didn’t see Logan leave earlier. He walked in properly and saw a pair of glasses, smashed like they had been thrown against the wall. He looked across to see Logan collapsed, slouched with puffy red eyes. Streams and streams of tears stained his cheeks and his hair was a mess. It looked like he tried to take off his tie but left it hanging loosely around his neck. “Oh god Logan.” Roman rushed to his side. “Can I touch you?”

Logan nodded, collapsing against him. He seemed almost dead, shallow breathing with tears silently falling. He didn’t reciprocate the hug that Roman gave him, he just needed to embrace the warmth that Roman gave off. Trying to follow Roman’s breathing, his eyes were starting to give into the exhaustion and he fell asleep.

Logan woke up. Feeling exhausted and eyes stinging whenever he tried to open them, he felt around to find himself in his own bed. Confused to how he got there, he picked up his phone to hope that Roman texted him about what happened. His breath got caught in his throat when the time read 3:46. He immediately opened his messages to text yell at Roman until he saw he already have a text from him.

‘dont flip your shit, ive got the library under control’ ‘i told the students you wouldnt be in but theres probably someone you want to explain some stuff 2’ ‘he was really worried’

Logan sighed, laying on his bed and thinking. Patton didn't deserve to be yelled at yesterday. He didn't mean to, he's just never had someone who….cared so much. Roman was the only exception, and he hated how he wanted Patton to know about him and cared. He hated it because he was starting to care for the man in the glasses and grey cardigan and his little brother. Logan groaned and got out of bed, throwing the most, and only, casual clothes he had. Leaving in sweats and a non professional hoodie, by the time he walked he arrived at the library it was already 4:57. Cursing himself for not being efficient with time, he open the door to run straight into someone's chest. “I apologize, I was thinking about- oh.” He looked up to see Patton staring at him with a smile.

“Hey Lo, I was so worried about you yesterday! Virgil knows, I was so scared something bad happened!” Logan looked around to see Virgil trying to hide his flustered face; Roman must've gotten to him again.

“Yes, I....I'm sorry about yesterday. I was wondering if….you wanted to stay after closing so we can….talk and 'hang out’ per say.”

Patton gasped. “I would LOVE that! We can watch movies and eat snacks and I'm sure Virgil will love to spend some more time with Ro!”

“Shut it.”

Logan actually smiled a little bit. “Well, I guess if you'll come in then, we can 'hang’ until it closes so we can, um, watch movies.”

They all sat in the bean bag corner, Mulan being projected against the wall. Roman was whispering stuff to Virgil that either made him giggle or go completely red and try to curl deeper into his hoodie. Logan leant against Patton's shoulder, not needing to reciprocate the side hug that he was given because Patton understood now. “Thank you….for staying.”

Patton smiled down at him. “Why would I leave? I love hanging with you.”

Logan smiled back. “I like hanging with you too.” He put his hand on Patton's leg and started to move his fingers.

Tap.

~~~

Sorry this took so long guys! I’ve been having kinda a hard time but now I’m on holidays so I should be able to get a new chapter (maybe) out soon!!

Next chapter

Tag list amigos:

@deathbyvenusftw @moonlightinwater @princeanxious @roman-is-a-gay @coffeekeyboardsss @ocotopushugs @thepoolofthedead @sanders-sides-things @angered-turtle @gayrobotalien @rebaobsessions @a-ghosts @catsandrandomness @fricksonsticks @v-blue-writer @hanramz-the-fander @your-username-is-unavailable @emphoenixcat @daughterofsomnus @anaveragegayfan @louisthewarlock @saro510-mp4 @6tick6tock6 @nienna14 @fandomsofrandom @notalwaysthevillian @thestoryoferissur @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes @virgil-crofters @thatgaydemigodnerd @ijustreallylovesanderssides @221b-quote @bubblycricket @charlielgbt @why-only-have-one-fandom @jesjessode @thrown-out-pasta

#sorry this took so long guys #but i hope you like this all #sander sides #logan #logic #patton #morality #roman #creativity #virgil #anxiety #thomas #thomas sanders #sander sides fanfic #prinxiety #logicality #don't judge a book by its cover #djabbic

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lifeofamastersstudent · 4 years ago

Text

Reflection | Workshop 2

4th June 2020 | online workshop | 6 people - Group discussion

Part 1 : Word Based

Activity 1 : State one quality about ourselves

Some of the words I got where - Patient , joyful, calm & patient, indecisive

Activity 2 : Pick ONE word out of FIVE

Player 1

1. umbrella - protected and safe 2. Water - calm and composed. I’m okay to go with the flow most times 3. can opener - I picked can opener because I can find solutions.

Player 2

1.Music box - because I’m entertaining 2. Rainbow - it brightens the sky on a rainy day and I’m feeling hopeful right now 3. Door - feels like it allows people to come in. I am welcoming.

Player 3

1.Ball - because I do things around sports and in a way, the ball can go in any direction. 2. Sand - it can take whatever shape you put it into 3. Stairway - I think theres no final point in my life. I think theres always something work in progress.

Player 4

1.Tree bark - because I’m grounded 2. Waterfall - I relate to waterfall because I’m very emotional. 3. Cloud - I am very moody - somedays grey and somedays white and my name itself means cloud

Player 5

1. 2. Pillow - soft and cuddly. And in general its the best thing ever. I am the best shit ever. 3. ocean - I found ocean appropriate. Its very vast and its very deep and its also pretty dark. And its something I can relate my imagination to. And you know how some people are really scared of exploring the depths of the ocean. And its also a lot of pressure to take.

Player 6

1.Rock - hard exterior 2. Waves - calm, it can be soothing sea and it can be a tsunami. extremes. 3. Shadow - its dark as I am in a lot of things that I think of. I can match peoples energy - I can imitate them.

Activity 3 : You get ONE word, find a connection

Slightly more challenging because you get one word and you must find a way to associate with it

Player 1

Boat - The way I could relate to the word I got is - well a boat can sail. I think if you know how to do it properly then you can withstand harsher waters. If you are comfortable and then you can handle it. If Im prepared about a situation if its tricky or difficult, I can handle it a lot better.

Player 2

Thorn - I can be hurtful. I can get angry. I can also protect the flower.

Player 3

Sharpener - I dont like to see anything negative in a person or even me. In my relationships, there are lots of things which are very different about them - id say for them. Some id change for me and some for them. I’m always looking to sharpen my skills and change relationships for the better

Player 4

Chair - my word was chair. I associate with it because I give people comfort so if someone comes to me, I do provide comfort. But it also stands on four feet. So I feel like my support system keeps me stable and that intern helps me to provide comfort to people.

Player 5

Night - I feel like on one side, experiencing a really pretty night. I fee like I can empathise with people and provide comfort and on the other hand the night can also get terrors. The dark fucked up thoughts and depression that comes with it. A flip side thing.

Player 6

Rain - it can be harsh and moody in a way. But also calming when you’re inside the house so it can have two different sides of a coin.

Activity 4 : Draw metaphors for yourself

At this point player 5 said how it was easier to draw the metaphor and it was a bit challenging to sit and word the drawing correctly.

Player 1 - “ill never have enough of my blue crayon”

It means if there something or a person that gives me comfort, I wouldn’t lose that person and try really hard to keep them in my life. A thing or a hobby. Ill do everything I can make sure to have it in my life

“happy as a pig” trying to be positive and be happy with whatever situation. theres no point in being unhappy with given situations.

Player 2- an open door with rainbow - an open door to happiness

Player 3 - I took my words sharpener and sand “harder, better, sharper, stronger” I’ve also drawn a sand watch. It takes the form of anything. I feel like theres always something missing, something is constantly happening.

Player 4 - so I made clouds because I’m really moody. And I drew the few people who always deal with my moods.

Player 5 - drew an ocean - part of the ocean is beautiful and the bottom has dark elements ( a treasure chest, a piranha, a whale, a dead person. Also drew a book - but then once you know me I go on non stop. And the whisk is because I create. Its one of my tools and my little universe. And the rings remind me of the planetary movement.

Maybe I can ask Player 5 to elaborate the new components she added and if there was any symbolic value to any of them.

Player 6 - I mixed all elements. I drew a shadow version of the drawing. One where I create my own problems and then me trying to protect others from theirs. I just put a rock in there just because and I added a storm. Its a duality.

At this point I also shared a few of my own - Tea pot , Music box , Egg

I noticed during this activity that some people used words and images . So their words complimented their drawings.

A challenge I faced during these workshops is how sometimes people brought in borrowed meanings into their objects. Like if an object reminded them of something someone said or did and it has some impact on them. Then they added that meaning into their story. Weaving it.

This exercise didn’t necessarily add more value. Most people seemed to repeat their metaphors - only in some more detail.

My follow up question to the players would be - did this exercise help build up and clean out the metaphors - make them more clear or was it just a repetition of expression - giving your thought a visual form?

Part 2 : Theme Based

Activity 1: State one quality for a tree

I asked people to give one quality to a tree. I now see that people applied some of these qualities when they were later asked to find similarities with the tree.

Activity 2 : If you were a tree, what would you look like

When I asked people to draw a tree that represents them - some people went into creating a version that would be ideal but which may not necessarily fit where they are in life - there was also imagination that came into play.

Player 5 focused on her tree being able to give to the animal community

Player 2 drew a tree that he found inspiring

Player 1 emphasised how important it was to be stable and strong

I think people focused on the “if you were” a lot more than if you were a tree, then what kind.

Activity 3: if this group of people are a single tree, what part would you be?

Player 1 said she would be the branch, she feels like she can support people but not as much as the bark would.

Player 2 I would be the leaves because they are visually pleasing, they are calming and they are just hanging there. Taking in the sunlight

Player 3 I think I’m really like the roots , ike it absorbs the water, the foundation for the tree. The stronger and better the roots the better the tree grows

Player 5 for me id be the little hole in the bark because I fee like the older I grow the more I need this sense of home and feeling of belonging somewhere. Having a little shell to call my own.

Player 4 I think id be the fruit because I think I’m sweet.

Player 6 I picked a single leaf - I see us all as a group and all of us as single leaves. In a broader sense, a part of a whole - nothing standing out, nothing standing out but it makes a part of a group.

Activity 4 : Pick a tree you most associate with. At this point I showed images of different trees.

Player 1 picked a autumn tree because of the warmth

Player 2 went on the visually appealing one

Player 4 picked the one with fruits - because it looks similar to my tree that I drew

Player 6 picked two. First one because it was similar to the ideas and the drawing I drew.

Player 5 picked the one with fruits. Giving and inviting. The tree with green mush - a safe environment with other trees.

Interestingly, player 5 was able to build onto the image of the tree and imagine what surrounds it.

Player 3 picked the fruit one and the one above the autumn tree. Nishant says he has a lot to give - it doesn’t come right away, it takes a while. And in the other image - the surrounding of the tree impacted the tree. Seems adventurous - on a hill.

Activity 5 : Make metaphorical portraits ( with new or old metaphors + physical attributes, if you like)

People did have fun making their metaphorical portraits but I think its because this group is very creative and involved in creativity hence they were more patient.

(Some of the portraits can be found on the blog)

Overall Feedback

Player 3 says, “ my eyes gravitated for things I was already thinking of” when it came to picking a tree.

Player 5 said she already had an idea for the tree and then I had to pick and choose.

Player 5 said that when I gave her a word, she was able to talk about it and visualise. But when I gave an image, she had to compromise and make it fit.

Player 3 said that some of the things people tend to draw are very specific to how we’ve been taught to draw them - like trees. For someone who isn’t much into arts. They might choose to draw a simplified tree that they are trained to draw.

Player 2 felt like although the activities were fun and the session was engaging. He didn’t really get a metaphor out of it at the end of the day

Player 6 suggested to - Give people one word and see how all people interpret it.

Player 3 suggested that I test concepts

Player 4 said that we are designers. We can think of things to associate with. Its harder for people who aren’t designers.

I got suggestions to test this with an older audience and younger audience

Player 3 said that people who are much older face different types of challenges and face mid life crises. Their responses could be irrational or bizarre. From a younger crowd, I did expect a lot of creativity but with an older audience that would change things.

Player 4 said that she didn’t realise that a certain object could encompass the things I felt. I knew the overlying feelings but I didn’t visually associated it with anything.

Overall Reflections

At times there was a focus on what I want to be as opposed to what I am

Drawing the tree impacted picture selection.

The creative background of this group may have impacted the workshop

The outcome may not have been entirely clear even with the creative bits

People found it engaging and fun.

People love to hear other peoples perspective on things

Providing visuals can be very limiting when you start with people trying to give a glimpse of their imagination.

The age might affect the creative output. And if the people are conditioned to think in a creative way.

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nocancer · 5 years ago

Text

Why It Rains

~~~~ an excerpt from a working novel by Cancer moon. ~~~~~**

Lately I’ve been channeling from a higher source. And it’s not something I have to keep up with. It feels like, natural almost. Like im always at the same level of it, or at least very close. I’m not gonna lie, I was scared at first. Scared that I would fail. Scared that I wouldn’t live up to the expectations I set for myself while meditating. But so far things are looking up. I even got that new computer I wanted. Who knows, for now I’m just gonna keep writing and go from there. I’m not too concerned with the trivial things that life likes to bother us with, seemingly always at the worst times imaginable. I might check out this internet thing too. It’s promoted as this fun happy place and if I didn’t know any better, I’d of taken that for face value, right off the bat like a sucker. Next thing you know the internet turns out to be a cold and lonely place, and I’m left to wallow in my own self-pity, clutching my knees in the fetal position, mad at myself for failing to see the internet for what it is, a stupid marketing scheme. The point is, I have to see for myself. That’s just the type of person I am. You can ask my mom that. She’ll tell you. Ask her about the time I told the guy who was fixing my alternator to shove it when he was trying to charge me a thousand. Mind you, I had the money. But you’re not supposed to be dishonest to me just ‘cause I’m a millenial. The guy pretty much called me that. He said, hey kid, try to be more polite next time. But I never listened. I don’t need advice from a deadbeat greasemonkey. Anyway, apparently everyone’s connected to the cloud via sites like facebook and instagram. And when people log on to jump in on the action, usually the first thing they do is say hi to their friends, and maybe even drop a smile or two to show them they care. And if they drop a heart then you know they already had a chance to settle in, and are just trying to take it to the next level, now that the internet, in all its digital, impermanent page swiping glory, is owned, unabashedly theirs.

Conscious apples of languid rotundity creep along countless borders of a pale grey sky.

The pears are unwavering in the efforts of embassy, initiating calls backs when the time calls for it, and deceit when grape factions step in and intervene.

“What are these meddling affairs, young pear?” asked the grape.

“I don’t know. It’s the apples control our every move. How we live. Our daily lives.”

“Hush with that nonsense. You are nothing but a pear, a young one at that, how could you possibly know who’s behind it all?”

“I don’t know.”

The grape and the young pear sat on a brook and wondered who was behind it all.

-------

You see this all-seeing-eye mural in Atlanta? On the side of Ravine across the street from the federal reserve building? Yeah. I could strip down naked and run to the middle of that intersection there and scream my lungs out until i started coughing up blood and act violent to anyone who approached me and i still wouldnt match the frequency of that demonic shit. People walk by it everyday going to work, going to lunch, going to walk their dog, and nobody bats an eye. An eye for the government, an eye for the media, an eye for world hunger. Not a single raised eyebrow goes towards whats in control of every aspect of their daily lives. Oh the president controls my life. But I voted for him, so its okay. Is what they would say, as they munched on Mcdonalds with vaccines in their arms and got mad at traffic because they were going to miss their favorite show. A show that retroactively fed into a never ending problem and response feedback loop that activates the reptilian part of the brain by broadcasting images of rape and pedophilia via techniques that the producers learned at Harvard’s school of broadcasting, which also used a system of coercion, this time in the blind trust the students had for their professors just because they dressed nice and said big words. You’re going places. This kid’s gonna be a star.

-----

I’m only half of what I am without your other half to complete me. Only kids ask rhetorical questions. But why should I be any different?

I live by the way side. Wherever the wind takes me. I notice things that most don’t. I’m not sure if what I think is valid or not. I don’t believe anything is valid. Likewise I dont believe anything is invalid. One things for sure. If there’s one thing I know to be true. Is that I’m not an adult. No, Definitely not.

-----------

Hiksos lamented blast fully daring the credence of all his undoing. Unjust and bashful forwritten to layers upong layers of drug smitten landscapes.

“Youre good/” Said Jamie.

I see why she likes so much to hate on anyone she can get her hands on. And im not talking about physical hands. No, these are claws of misfortune. --The bad falls into a category still undefined by our human grasp.--

Apples on seminoles. Berries on amazing places we strove for.

The graveyard was pure and unassuming as a place for the dead should very well be. And with that we took our ritual to newer, more fulfilling levels. Levels of which determine our outlook as shades between optimistic and cautiously realistic. With our futures in the balance,

“Whatchu think dawg?” said Jerry. He was on his 2nd beer and 5th shot of vodka sprite. and I was on my mind long enough for nothing to be worth a damn. The vibe was dull, and the smoke gone. I lit a cigarette.

“I feel like shit.”

“You good?” J

“Yeah but I’m just tired like overall.” About life.

“Why not be happy about life? It’s all in your head. Just flip the switch. Like a light. On and off. Boom. No more stress.” J

“If only if it were that easy.”

“It is that easy. That’s the thing.”

Sipping heroically, going farther and phasing out all menial contrivances. Searching for myself like the lost land of atlantis. Humanity will get what it deserves.

“In due time” said Thomas.

I look at orion and wonder if those faint stars below its belt are actually indicative of a warrior kneeling on one knee with his shield raised or if its a flaccid penis that hangs all the way down to his knee. Im a pervert, always have been. Theres no stopping how much i will crash thoughtforms together in a heinous way until they stick together and form a common truth. I’m on the last life cycle of a cat’s 9 lives. Theres really nothing to lose by being a pervert. I had a friend in high school who said we’re all gay. I dont remember when. He said it more than once. I dont know if he was gay. I didnt think like that back then, but I wouldn’t to be anything other than who I am today. But again, there’s no stopping a mind so spiritual that it can hold each and every possibility at once and consider them valid. Then an external force canceling out my infinity. And I’m left to deal with people as if playing some sick little game thats suppose to teach me a lesson or something. So that I can ascend to the next plane of existence. At least thats what I’ve heard. But when the night hits and everyone finally shuts up for once it seems much simpler than that. Like im watching myself through a lens bestowed on me by a god with no intelligence. And during the day he becomes intelligent, and I’m left trying to keep up with, on his terms. “Fuck you bitch” I tell it often. “Youre not real” I’d say over and over. “What the fuck” is the saying that gives closure to it all. The only reason God looks good on paper is because it’s a testament to the author being strong enough to have it in his mind and make sense of it. It’s a mark people wear like aushwitz that make their beliefs somehow something you should pay attention to because I’m physical and God’s not but I speak of God so therefore God’s physical so you should listen to me. But then thatd make the speaker God.

By and by I’ve messed up hastily my dreams and aspirations. Tattooed on a building as ink drips down like an inner angst perceiving things as they are, and not what society says they should be. The happy medium an ephemeral code that could shift and shake into any causality one deems it to. The rulers of the world have taken domain over the one thing every human on earth has in common. I call this desire. They call it money. A body that begets greed and turns hatred to lust. Actions which motivate our inhibitions to phantasmagoria. Until we accept our place as lesser than the pettiness of our common folk. Shy and afraid, contingent upon basement dwelling lab rats who fane logic to reasonable bell curves while sucking nature dry of her own resources. The very nature that sunlight reflects upon his incessant rays which batter and tumble the distance. If only they knew she was her and he was them. But it doesn’t go like that here. Because if it did, then all karmas coming to a head would get their just due, and we’d be in purgatory. While heaven remained for the gods and earth for the mortals. And nothing can be God except authority to mortals when they’ve been tricked into accepting the state and thus have become it..

What a lovely home indeed. No one could bother me here. Except for the only one’s I knew. Because nobody knows I exist except for those who know me. I’d rather keep it that way. For a streak of doubt can enter me at any time and cause worry for my future. A future still so far away because I lack the initiative to care. Maybe that will change now that I have room to breathe. Just when I thought I was going downhill for good, my dad came around for me. And now I have a responsibility to get me up in the morning. No more waiting in line for luck to befall me in my yoga. The truth is, when reality caved in itself, and I could see the dying whispers in the eyes of those around me, I accepted my estrangement from the happy things in life. My avoidance of the dastardly grotesque was keeping me back this whole time. I like darkness and pitiful efforts of circumstance that vibrate low enough to stay hidden from others, but high enough so that it is detectable by my astral receiver. Two of which is an outward expression of another. The extension of material that is necessary for movement to take place. Before this realization I endured through pain of my own doing.

“How are you?” people would say.

And I never had a response.

Telepathic centrifuges would scan my mind. Taking flight off far off reaches of iniquity. All facets calling upon a microverse for an answer. I an I. Then they’d be gone without hesitation.

“Jerry’s calling” said Thomas.

“for what?” This guy wont leave me alone, I thought.

“I don’t know answer it.”

“Why are you bored?” I said.

“Yes, maybe he has weed.” Said Thomas.

“Ay whatsup man. Me and Thomas we’re just talking about you.”

“Oh word?”

“Yeah and then you call its like divine intervention or something?”

“Yeah thomas was tryna find some weed and you the first person he thought of so you must be doing something right.”

“Yo Thomas.”

“Oh hold up let me put you on speaker.” I said quickly.

“Is Thomas there? Yo Thomas.”

“Jerry, whats good?”

“I got the pack man, I heard you was lookin for a come up. I got the pack man.”

“Aight bet cus im bored as a motherfucka right now ya feel me?”

“It aint my fault.”

“Yo he do gotta big ass house tho I aint gone lie but like shit aint got nothin in it.”

“I just moved here a week ago.”

“So for a whole week- Yo is today Friday?”

“Yeah its Friday.” Who cares? I thought.

“So that’s last Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now Friday, and you still aint got nothin in here but a fridge.”

“You aint even seen the whole house.”

“Nah you know you just in the middle of the carpet with no pillow no blankets or nothin.

And you wake up and go open the fridge and aint nothin in it. Then you go back to sleep.”

“Ay what he dream about?” Jerry said through the phone.

He aint dream about much ‘cept for one occurring dream. Of a fridge, but this time it’s a mini fridge. And its pink and he’s able to move it around, so he takes it up to his room and opens the freezer door just a little so it’s a little crack and he starts beatin it up till he has a wet dream and wakes up.”

“Alright you took it too far. It was kinda funny before but you killed it.”

“Wait, Where’s the fridge now? It’s not in the kitchen?” Jerry said.

“Bruh that’s the thing its just in the middle of the living room not even plugged in or nothin.”

“Jerry I know you so concerned about my god damn fridge but this time dude is lying over here.”

haha

“It’s in my kitchen like a normal person. Like I don’t know I guess you think this shit is funny or something but whatever come through and you can see for yourself.” Don’t talk to him he’s a loser was the attitude I was picking up. I thought they we’re beyond all that and capable of extraneous thought. Oh well, I guess I’m done with these idiots.

No more sitting around all day.

If I can see them for who I want, and not who they really are, it’d make no difference.

It’s a best of both worlds type situation. I just hate that I have to resort to this.

Its a sporadic and unpredictable endeavor that can detach you from life’s depiction. Seemingly framing a purpose in cosmetics among layer-caked mine field of mind clouds. I want to be a positive addition to those around me. And for them to be honest to me in return. Honest because everything around me is a nuisance. And dishonest It’s not necessary to have car insurance, police, governments. This realm is alive. 3 dimensions respective of splashes and 3rd parties. Because of this fact, I must be able to flow freely, grounded in freedom, estranged to control. Last summer when I jumped into the alleghany i felt freer than i have in a long ass time. Jerry asked me if he thought we’d still be here next year. I told him I didn’t want to think about it. That I was enjoying the moment.

“Man fuck that bitch.” T

“What? Who you callin’ a bitch?” J

“You know what I mean.” Thomas smacked his lips.

“I really don’t but whatever.” J

“Yo Jerry did you leave yet?”

“How far away is it? Not too bad right?”

“Nah it’s not too bad you’re like 30 minutes away. You’re in a nice area. Lots of rich people.” J

“Yeah I came up on it. It kinda just happened.”

“Whatchu mean it fell out of the sky?” Jerry asked.

“It’s been in my family for a while and I was lucky enough to be gifted it.” I said.

“That’s dope, you’ll get some good use out of it.”

“Yeah I’ma take advantage of what I got ya know? Make it so anyone can pull up as long as I fuck with them.” I said.

“Thats why I’m comin’ through.

Just say its the spot and I’m there.”

“For sure. But yo, if youre bringing your girl over then bring some pillows and blankets to sleep on cus I only got mine.”

“I need some too.” Thomas joined in.”

“We’ll stop then.” I said reluctantly.

“

“And where are we gonna chill? We can’t just sit on the floor.” Thomas took his eyes off the road.

“Alright, theres a home depot near the chinese place we’ll go their while we wait.” I said.

“Does Home Depot have blankets?” Thomas said like he was so concerned.

“No but they got that outdoor patio section for furniture and shit, So I don’t know we’ll find something.”

“They got mad carhartt jackets for the low low there. You should check them out.”

“Alright I’ll check them out.” The streetlights suspended time in space.

“Yo spicy egg rolls, add it to the list.” Jerry said finally.

“Sounds good.” Thomas replied. There was a pause.

“You headin’ out?” T

“Yeah. I am. Right now.” Jerry responded.

“A’ight I’ll see you when I see you.” T

I interrupted.

“I was gonna get spring rolls instead and we don’t want too many rolls so you want dumplings instead?” The thought popped into my head and I had to get it out.

“I dont really care either way” Jerry said.

“So yes on the dumplings? Pork, Chicken or beef?” I said.

“Dude I really dont give a fuck.”

“A’ight peace.”

“Wait actually get some extra spring rolls. I don’t want my breath to stink.” Jerry was a quick thinker.

“Okay. Peace.”

I ordered the chinese while Thomas turned the radio down.

It was 7:30 on a Friday. Traffic was still out and slow except on the highway. The plaza where Home Depot was sat on an indent so that a perimeter around us denied the sun a chance of bringing light to the inevitable darkness. Highway barricades exalted the east coast away from our position. I closed my eyes and listened to newly formed divinations stemming from a horizontal after-glow. What was AM was now PM. And just as I would prepare for a weekend of contract work, I too was going to do the same for the night. Because Friday was in the air, telling me I was the cause of it.

Thomas pulled into the lot and flicked his cigarette a stop-sign to an array of F150s and pug-faced express vans that sat high enough to deem his reliable, good on gas mileage, crusty seated hand-me-down first-car shit-box a worthy proponent of wu-wei. It was the type of car that doesn’t speak for anything or reflect an image onto its owner other than its being there.

At least this one had a little personality though, fashioned by who was behind the wheel, and the fact that I knew him through drive-ways of careless faces, drive-thrus, and drunken waffle house binges where we kept to ourselves and almost forgot it wouldn’t last. And even though the universe proved its worth to me, I cant help but feel theres in imbalance in my past.

That these were just moments. And days would go by. Blunts would get passed. Pets would die. We’d hope to not hear of our relatives dying, but that would happen to. Cause of death? Old age. It wouldn’t say that on the obituary. It was say something safe like stage 4 cancer or hodgekins lymphona. But everyone knows about the cap put on as at birth. That there’s a limit to how long we get to stay here. Sometimes we’d hear of our friends dying too. But those were rare cases. Few and far between. Unless of course you were the type of kid to attract that sort of stuff. Then you probably deserved it anyway. That pain. Irregardless of the pain it takes to die. You imagine how it must have felt in the body of your friend. Like they we’re on the otherside begging you to come with them. I’m free. They’d say. It only hurts a little. And unlike the old people, their obituary would read suicide. Basically an off-hand way of saying they needed jesus. Because in the end, nobody truly knows what would drive someone to do that to themselves. We can speculate all we want. They we’re bipolar. They wore funny clothes to school and we’re bullied as a result. But only someone with special access could consult them on that. To ask them why they denied life and chose death instead. Only someone who could be objective about the whole thing and not get caught up in their emotions could ask them this. In America that’s Jesus, God of funeral homes, shepherd of lost souls. The frustrating part, at least to me, is that all he can come up with is it was Satan’s fault. But that doesn’t do it for me. No. I need more than that. After all, Jesus, you faked your own death and ran away to the pyrynees. Did you not? You we’re too afraid to commit suicide. You half-assed your commitment. Maybe you knew what awaited you resembled a sleepless dream? Certainly you knew another part of you was fit for ascension. But then wouldn’t be the center of attention like you we’re on earth. You’d be around people who knew a light language and we’re just as smart as you, if not smarter. The applied principles of the sun was common knowledge there. That was like basic shit. Nobody was looking for preachers there. What they we’re looking for was way more advanced than your little yoga techniques. Stop hiding and tell us what’s really going on out here. Something tells me it has something to do with Satan, just not in the way you’re telling us. I have a feeling he holds the keys to a piece of knowledge we never even knew existed. If that’s the case, and I find out we’ve been duped, then I might just take it upon myself and offer you the same fate you offered my friend when he was down bad on that fateful Spring night mad at the world and pissed off at the hypocrisy you created for him. But this time when I get to you I’ll make sure you won’t be down bad. There will be nothing to numb the pain. No. You’re gonna feel this. Then things will come full circle. Order. I like when things happen that way.

“Yo I need paint. “

“ Paint?”

“I just remembered. For the walls.” I said in a descending volume.

We walked through the doors in the purgatory between store and street. I grabbed a cart.

“Is that what we’re gonna do for fun? Man I might regret this whole night if we end up hanging dry-wall and shit.”

“I hear you bro but we can play poker, I got a speaker so we can bump some music, and we’ll just kick it.”

Thomas strayed passed the check-out lines and almost ran into a stack of wood hanging from a guy’s trolley.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“Where’s the paint?” He said turning around.

We looked like we should be in the city rather than the hardware store. Everyone was looking and I know I’m not paranoid when I say that. We we’re foreigners visiting a small scale metropolis under construction. A place for bandits to face their acrophobia and not make it across to the next tower without getting grime on their gats ort hope they liked our style.

"They got krylons?" I said. The aisle opened up where the rafters stretched through the ceiling leaving ground level two by fours in their dust. If I focused I could hear an echo reverberate off my skull, taking its merry time and judging me before I could hold my breath. “We used to be so into this.” Thomas said.

“I don’t know why we stopped.” I said. He took it as a valid question.

“We got older I guess. Fuck.”

“Remember the overpass on Holcomb Bridge? I wonder if our shits still there.”

“We need to go back there.”

Gum soles in an unfinished basement. This was the most people I’ve ever seen. a’ve ever seen. The fire marshall could’ve came knocking any moment. Though I don’t think anybody would hear him. Lil Pump was 3 doors down. To the fire marshall, is that everyone was moving as one. To the fire marshal, this could be a good or bad thing in the lens of a fire marshall. Good because if someone started popping shots off with an uzi or something and everyone tried to run out the house through the basement side-door, the main one through the hall at the back by the bathroom, or if they went up stairs and found the wrong door and had to jump off the balcony or something, if shit really started to pop off like this, of shit really hit the fan, then it’d be good to have 1 body instead of a hundred. There we’re straddlers of course, but all they’d have to do is hide in its belly folds and hope to not get lost while the body was hauling ass down the street resorting to the dreaded question, “Can I get a ride?” And simply put it’d be bad because human flesh burns quite well when laced with alcohol. That was a risk we were willing to take and that brought us that much closer together.

When I came in with Katie I noticed the crystalline qualities of blonde hair captivated the vibe and were on display in the trim lining. When you looked across it was like some secret edition of the yearbook where everyone didn’t have to pretend they liked each other.

Only this time there were no profiles, only shadows. And instead of signatures there were tattoos on skin that said things like “im too good for you” and “the sky is watching.”

What collected at the corners were pushed outside to observe that ways a part equidistant to the cups on the table to the enthusiasm among them. This was inside. Everyone needed to make sense and not be meta. You couldn’t point out how we were all here by chance like Tommy did, “xxxxxxx” What an idiot. You couldn’t speculate as to why Rhea spent the whole month showing out for sympathy on twitter and crying at school over her breakup with Nick but is now falling on top of him, grabbing his arm and shit and Nick’s just going with it like he doesn’t care his best friend got sucked off by yours truly in front of everyone at last weeks party and he was there and she was there and it was all fine like nothing happened. “Well Nick got with Mercedes, and her and Rhea ignore each other now. It’s really awkward.” Despite the fakeness, there was an heir of trust unlike any ive ever seen here unlike back at school where we’d be leaning into our cheeks thinking about how to score more brownie points with the cliques we were in.

At least that’s what others were thinking about. The teacher’d be talking about solving for y for the millionth time, you know, moving things around by reverse operations to make sure they maintained the same relationship with one another. I never had to study because when it came time to test it’d be like the answers’d just come to me and I’d end up acing the damn thing. I became known as a smart person who didn’t care so everything canceled out and I was able to stay neutral and move between the punks to get drugs, the nerds to get power, and the popular kids to get access to parties like the one I was at now. I know this all sounds vain, but I guess that’s how it works when you’re a teenager still trying to find yourself when everyone else was doing the same but would rather die then admit it. Now that I look back I realize the whole thing was meaningless. There was no substance, no fulfillment. High School was mostly waiting with small pockets of being thrust into the limelight. Just a series of empty promises leading nowhere. You could of met your better half completely in the midst of knowing each other at a soul level but all indications were that it wouldn’t last so you made excuses and broke it off before it was too late so that your future could be at least bearable when you we’re laying in your cheeks mad at the world wondering why you were the only thing you could think about. You could rest your heart on your decision. The sex flashbacks at the most random times like talking to your grandma or waiting in line at the grocery store didn’t matter anymore. You could put it all on that. Your decision.

“Daniel, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Likewise Sharlene, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh how sweet of you to say that to me.”

“Wait, why are you guys being so formal?” Katie said like she overheard.

“We should stop.” Sharlene said. Daniel was taller than all of them.

“How was your day?” His eyes got bigger. Crazy.

“Did you have a good day?” Leaning forward with his back against the counter.

“I did have a good day.” Sharlene said. “Did you?” She put her hand up and when she realized this she snapped them across her face and into his.

“Mr. Sassy?”

“Mr. Sassy!” Some dude in a hat with lettuce coming out said.

These we’re the types of exchanges that went on inside. Loud but cold. All in the vain of attention seeking like some sort of competition or test of brilliance. Only that this time unlike in normal society, where everyone’s trying to get their point across as clear and concise as possible because focus is king over style, this time brilliance was a stage of show. And whoever could hold onto it the longest was most certainly king or queen and surely the apple of their eye. Their being the cult that was the inside.

The 5 of us ended up by an air conditioning unit. We were staring at the moon thinking about what do next because we were already exhausted. Not because we weren’t faded enough. It was quite the opposite. There was too much judgment. And that was as bad of a high you could get when you were on the other end of it. We were over it. We were desperately passing a blunt I’d been eager to light since I rolled it in the car.

“I needed this.” Jerry said.

“Yeah? Me too.” I looked at Katie. She’s the one I rolled it with earlier in the day when 4 different people we’re blowing up my phone asking if I was coming and telling me who I could bring or not.

“I don’t know it’s just like the vibe or something. Like something’s off.” Tom said.

Katie was mostly quiet and sipping the blunt with her cute little hands and was gravitating towards Miranda in a nonverbal display of boredom.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Jerry said.

“We really don’t.” I agreed.

“Talk about what?” I’m just saying.” Thomas said after a pause.

“Yeah I know but I’m not about to go behind their backs and gossip like we’re not fuckin’ with it thats cool we can do our own shit.”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“Is there anything close?”

“You tryna go to waffle house?”

Katie and Miranda laughed. First Katie snorted then Miranda bent over and held her knees.

“What are y’all tryna do?”

“Uhh can we just get out of here?” Katie said towards the street.

“Yeah. Let’s walk.” I said.

You left your memories with me.

So you could live without you.

You left your past in the dark, and

it was something you did for the hell of it because life

was too easy for you.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"Leave with me." You said.

"Is something bothering you?" I said.

"No." You were always in the dark.

"Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but here."

"I can't tell if you're being serious." You threw a rock

down the train tracks, and pointed where I was looking.

"That way's North to Chattanooga." You turned around.

I leaned to the side as if I was peeking down a narrow

hallway.

"South to Miami. Hmm. It depends." You said rubbing your chin.

"It depends on you finding a girlfriend so you can get back to reality is what it depends on." I said.

I dont think a single car

drove by since we got here. Moving trucks could be seen on the overpass where the crossing signals were, but were inaudible. The only thing audible was the large-scale kithen across the street which would hiss occasionally over its constant hum. It also had steam coming out of it. We walked towards the red-light on stones half the size of our trainers and went to balancing on the rail half to avoid twisting our ankles and half to ammuse ourselves.

"I was gonna say it depends on what's better, a good ol' country bitch who'll cook you catfish till you cant eat no more, or a bad spanish mommy who may or may not be there for you when you really need it."

"Oh, si senorita Hot like tamales. Muy bueno.

Como te amos rapido rapido mucho Miami me gusto."

"Bro we're hopping trains not borders

you fucking wetback."

"Whoa, hold up ese, you're hopping trains, not me.

Besides, we'll be hopping on a lot more than trains

if we keep this up." I said.

"Trains not borders, puto."

"Man watch your mouth."

"Here comes one now."

ijijiijjiiji

We hid in the bushes. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Me fist then the girls and Jerry while Thomas was last in..

"We should of put a coin on their,:

*End graveyard party and go into chapter about family* BONES laden arrows

----

Just say its the spot and I’m there.

“Jerry just texted me.” I said to Thomas.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s bringing Erica.”

“Why was it even a question?” Thomas said. He was flipping his head back and forth at me. Zig-zagging from hinges to nails to glue guns and floor tiles, biding his time, sulking like i was gonna feel sorry for him.

“I don’t know man. I’m sure it had something to do with his roommates not being out.” I said.

“Well if his initial reaction was him being scared then what that tell you about what he think of us?”

“Nah. You’re thinking too far into it. He’s tryna get her to let him hit.”

So much was out of context. There was disharmony. I continued.

“Maybe there’s something about two dudes without girlfriends that isn’t exactly the most potent

“

Smoke stacks comply and hesitate partaking in sport. Indulging in an aptitude that continues to see how it feels when you say such simple words as “hello, and, thats cool.” That continues to touch a nonverbal membrane when you move in such a way that broke the color barrier between black and white. So I’ll appreciate you like all the others do. Because I, completely and utterly, should know to carry you with me into infinity. And I should know, for a fact, that distance is dependant on its terminal velocity at the moment of impact. Gorgeous you are when tulips gather around cow pastures only to wither away upon the changing of the guard. Tip toes, necromancy, ice skates, all these make sense to me now, that ever since the day of my christening, good beings struck witherto my intelligence and rendered them useless. These knots, the qualities of which we’re twisted, utterly finagled to a degree that crystallized under pressure. I feel like I was born so I could come into people’s live when they needed someone to blame their problems on. That’s why I always get those stupid looks. Sometimes I just wanna ask them like “what the fuck are you on?” I guess all those diamonds couldnt teleport you out of here huh? Too bad. I ain’t judgin’.

knotted in purpose.

Oh how I looked on in brevity the callus threads that stretched for miles upon miles into causeways of blindness which overtook me in haste. Very painstaken I was in the trials before then. But now I see the reason for them. For nothing could have felt better than to be relieved of all that built up stress which churned and churned until a mechanism of ventricles let go in common translation. Like ruminating gats and dust swipers caged so discreetly so as to fixate on unto sizzling barge-heads. Almost as if silly esquires of desperately manifold doldrums exist solely to highlight the difference of deceit and merry. the difference of you, a you, and I, an I.

“Man I need blankets.” Thomas said.

“Pillows too.” I said tracing the outer perimeter of Home Depot.

Them Carharrts nice too. Our eyes met at the rack.

“I bet you could fit a gun inside this.” Thomas said feeling the durability of a canvas hoodie in brown.

“No I don’t have a gun.”

“You should get one.”

“They got em here?”

We fell out of the portal.

____________

Vicious bar flies and scarcities falsify the other-half.

“It is settled” said Chief Wallitzer

“Then buy more plankton from the Chief” A creature said. Decrepit. Monsteral. Lectivicious. The creature continued.

“And as soon as I stray a lochness is when the fortifications manifest wholly and without contempt.” I must ignore him.

“What am I to do?” I said on the levy.

“Take a boat from the garter over thine gully there.” Said the Chief.

And I summoned a boat from his power.

“I’m crossing.” I said under my breathe. I said aloud.

“Bless you Chief! Aye. May good fortune amass in your possession!” Because realization finally hit me, that I was to join my comrades in battle, once and for all.

“Aye, and to not flee as well.” This was the last I ever heard of the Chief.

--------

Today I’m going to buy a car.

Anxiety is a MK Ultra Mind Control Tactic (designed to keep humans subordinate to the matrix) ((which is ran by the 10%))

(((who answer to archonic entities from the 4th dimension)))

Logical reasoning is when an internal problem is identified as separate from the self so that it may not be subject to the whims of ego, which is fleeting and irregular, and stems from an evolutionary need for man to keep desiring more and more mates to reproduce offspring with so that his tribe grows strong in number as opposed to getting complacent with having one or few mates, retiring from the world, and letting him and/or his offspring die without a big enough tribe to defend them from bigger tribes with more man-power. Humans have advanced beyond the need to reproduce. In fact, Over-population is an existential threat to the continuation of humans on Earth. Because of this there should be no desire to reproduce. However, there is still a desire to reproduce. This is because the consequences of over-population like famine, disease, and global warming have yet to be internalized by most humans. Once it does, there will be no desire to reproduce, and all remaining sub-strata will go too. These remaining sub-strata include love, greed, and status all begotten from the main desire of humans, which is to reproduce. The reason that is

The main desire of humans is that humans want to survive. If humans didn’t want to survive they’d be dead. If humans we’re dead they wouldn’t be living. And if humans weren’t living they wouldn’t exist. Additionally, If humans didn’t exist they’d be nothing. And If humans were nothing they wouldn’t be something. Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards the very notion of being something

with the very notion of that word and all the associations it comes with,

Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards being something,

knowing full-well the associations it comes with, then humans would be refusing their ego, which is fleeting and irregular.

Once this desire (to reproduce) is gone, then allser forms of this desire like

and not get his needs are met

be processed in an objective manner, and not subject to whims of ego

solutions can be formulated in an objective context, and the solutions necessary to overcoming that problem, may not be weighed against emotion, which is fleeting and irregular.

and it’s existential

consequences, both good and bad, can be weighed objectively against

solutions that are based in reality

The distinction between needs and desires is a matter of time. Needs are immediate. Desires are built up over time.

The distinction between needs and desires is, in fact, only a matter of time

Anxiety needs to be alleviated when there’s not enough time, but it should anxiety will be alleviated because their is time. .

^^^^^^^^^cap*********

*********************

Anxiety is when an internal problem needs to be alleviated. Its just that the actions required to alleviate said problem seem far off and distant. So much that you begin doubting your abilities as a measly human and turn to a god instead. When this god doesnt fix your problems your anxiety is compounded heavily. Because you have one more problem than you started with. If you couldnt hold a candle to your first problem, being as their solutions were so far out and demanded too much in a short amount of time, then now you got a doozy on your hands. All we can ask for is perfection, and hope we come up short.

********************

************

//All God can ask for is perfection. That’s why he doesn’t relate to us.// If you had a bag that led to another bag you wouldn’t keep the first bag cus it’d already be in the second one. These are the ancestors working behind the scenes.

then what makes you think

Our teachers taught us proper sentence structure in the third grade. A subject followed by a predicate. The subject is invoked and the predicate carries the burden like a hag witch carries it and thus justifying the subject so that it is not floating in space, susceptible to being bothered by minds whose job it is to question things that float in space for no other reason other than to not have a purpose, and stand as a monument against all these grammar nazis stand for. So viciously chaotic, free in its lightness, completely unencumbered by menial contrivances of formality, it seems, are these subjects without predicates stand unapologetically in the vast concourses of space as monuments against all they stand for. The problem is that words can only do so much when describing a subject. Whether it is a noun or pronoun, abstract or not, a person, place, thing, or idea, it could even be an interjection, the problem is words can only do so much for describing the essence of a thing, the unseen force which discerns certain vibrations as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency at which the brain can perceive.

certain things as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency that vibrates at a rate at which the human brain can process through its hypothalamus and perceive them as things in the 3rd dimension.

apart from the rest is limitless when not bound by words, which can only be deduced as a lesser form of magic.

Thomas and I see the same things. Ever since our childhoods we were never separated. And even if we we’re, or it appeared as if we we’re, we always had the same eyes. Not just the same view, but the same eyes. I don’t mean that these eyes were like detachable lenses, that could be passed around to and fro like a can on a string, I mean that we’ve had the same experiences, just in different forms. And if we ever shared a difference of opinion, which happened a lot, like with this Erica thing, I never had to worry about things getting heated. Because no matter what, I could always fall back on us letting things calm down for a while, alone in our rooms leaning into our cheeks trying not to think about it. until both of us realized we were coming.from the same place, and that where, and to what degree we took it to, was ultimately meaningless.

I must be going now. It’s getting late. What time is it? 2:30? Jesus. Fuck. That’s later than I thought. Already? Oh well. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Anyway. What I wanna talk about is how fucked up you look to me, and I don’t know if you see that. I mean, if you can see what I see. Dread, angst, all of mine and your miseries seem to have burdened you. I want you to know that I’m here. I’m a man. I can fix my own problems. Really. I can. I may not look it but I’m grown. You don’t have to worry about them. Here, look at this picture I took last year. It’s of you and me. Don’t we look so happy? Happy. Is that the right word? Or maybe we’re crumbing for our last breathe of smile in us. Fuck. I’m beginning to think that’s true the more and more I think about it. Because you we’re never happy. Neither was I. But that wasn’t the goal for us like it is for so many others. No. We just wanted to get by. And that’s all we could ever ask for.

--jgcjgcjgcjgcgjc

I wanted to keep this sacred so it’d come across a more genuine when the right person came across it. but now the urge is too strong and the resonance too concentrated for me to dismiss the trailblazing force of circular momentum. And its nice out too. The grass is still damp from yesterday’s rain but not so you couldn’t lie in it. That’s what I did today. That along with thinking. Moving on. I won’t talk about personal experience in this article. The truth is I’m not important. What matters is my guidance. So from now on take my “I’s” as placeholders for something greater. Make it what you want. A parakeet, a landing pad, veganism, law and order, anything. It could even be the universe itself with you and me included. Whatever it is just don’t miss the point that follows this inconspicuous “i” because there is no truth, only different paths to getting there.

The truth is I haven’t been out the house in a few years. Sure there were gaps in between like parties here and there. But even then I was inside myself, leaving people to wonder if I was as social as I looked. Sometimes I was normal, others I was a wallflower. Only rarely did I meet their expectations and become the center of attention. I still remember those moments because I’m preparing for the next time it happens so I can maintain a sense of self better so that I can let it go and channel what comes out of me more freely. Some call this going into the world. I call it getting out the house. Leaving the nest. All those times i was still at home within myself. I never left my shell. There’s no point when that shell is filled with angels.

Language can be tricky. It can be used for yin and yang. It can be used for contuation or stagnation when concerning the path of self and how one wants to judge said self through language so that it may have something ethereal to manifest from. Before I continue I must say that there is a self because any indication of there not being a self relies on the suppusition there there is a self. Perception plays a role too, as in, agreeing or not to accept the definitions of the words you lay on yourself as true or not. The pessimist sees the world as signs and symbols and interprets stimuli af a higher level then the optimist, who is often naieve to the hidden world where everything comes from. This is why pessimists are often dualists. To the optimist it appears they are one-sided because they take them at face-value. Again, they are unable to see the hidden world where everything comes from. Those who fly under the radar appear that way because they are in direct contact with this world so as to filter their thoughts before speaking them. This world is a place pessimists visit often within themselves and rarely show out of. They show out only in dire situations, and that makes their actions that much stronger because they have kept sacred the hidden world where everything comes from so that it is pure and cutting-edge when it comes time to release it upon the known world. Like an endless stream does their wrath come out of them because they’ve been holding it in so long.

Anytime you insert the I into a situation is when a princible of measurement can be applied to you as infinite potential to fail or succeed relative to the third party as the perfect amount of what you needed to be faced with.

with chakra wheels that exist so we can find ourselves in a better light.

0 notes

mori-sketchbook · 7 years ago

Note

:333333 every one of those questions for both you and Andras.

sometimes meesh….. somtimes

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

closed! they are full length mirros

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

only when super tanned

(3) Can You Whistle?

nope *cries*

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

All Star, which i normally cant stand cuz it gets stuck in my head like no ones business but this was a surprisingly good cover

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

i usually default to maroon/burgundy but i think gold is inching into first place

(6) Relationship Status.

engaged

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

15′C but muggy as all hell

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

oh boy did i

(9) How Many Followers?

1,129

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sagittarius

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

blue but with marbley grey

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

yes, but i should take more tbh

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

yeah but i never remember the words so just mumble along

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

Half Blood Prince audio book

fun(ish) fact, i was super into reading until the good ol’ depression killed my ability to read so i started listening to audio books recently as a part of my therapy and the harry potter series has a very clear ramp up in difficulty as they age so i figured it’d be a great way of working my way up again

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

There is one, and only one, advantage to somebody who cannot play the violin insisting on doing so anyway, and the advantage is that they often play so loudly that they cannot hear if the audience is having a conversation.

(16) Favourite Anime?

Shirokuma Cafe!

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Kaedian :’>

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

movie props!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

a little pizza~

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

i can barely sit in a car im so tall let alone dance

(21) Favourite Animal?

sometimes sharks, sometimes octopi, sometimes armadillos

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

opening cermonies and anything with beefy ladies *cough*

oh and archery!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

aim for 11/12 but as for actually falling asleep…..

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

only a little, not been taking care of myself lately tbh

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

pool maybe? but id rather just sit and look at the ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

eh?? no real fave but Clients from Hell is always a good read

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

neither

(28) What Makes You Happy?

*stares into the camera*

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

if im taking stuff in, with music, if im writing stuff down, without

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

doggos but i do love cats too

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

some weird offshoot pastel grey

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

i guess playstation, i;ve owned a ps1/ps2/psp but no xbox

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

if we’re talking idyllic waterfall lagoon from some fantasy book then lake, if not then neither pls

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

grey NASA tee

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

no it confuses me how people have control over those muscles (ears too wtf)

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

i go through periods of saving then periods of spending

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

a lighter

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

i guess the history of Hyperion (Borderlands) and the departments in the Ministry (Harry Potter)

i tend to hyper focus one aspect rather than a franchise as a whole

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

only to save, leave them be pls

(42)Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

initially yeah but then those people quickly become an annoyance and everything they do annoys me

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

i have the blandest dreams ever as can be seen here

(44)Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

i dont dislike them but the longer the flight the more claustro i get

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Up, in the cinema, front row with my crying friends, you know the scene

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

sunflower seeds pls

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

it was a life goal to see David Bowie in concert :’

i guess either Pulp if they ever toured again or just whoever puts on the best show

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

ill try anything in a restaurant but at home with everyday meals i am put off by food a whole bunch

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

maybe??? its hell to get me to sleep but once im out i think i stay out pretty well

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

no i LOVE it

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

in theory…

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

pls no

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

pumpkins i guess but not by much

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Mariner’s Revenge - Decemberists

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

summerino

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

i can still taste that pizza so im good for the moment, it will be chocolate tho, its always chocolate

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

no that’s weird

(58) What Is Your Gender?

…..nope

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Coffee~

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

nothing official

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Pansexual/Polyamorous

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

not even a little :’>

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

(64) Favourite Social Media?

i tend to avoid it really, i dont wanna know what ur doing sorry

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

i dont even know what they are? if theyre the same as snapchat stories then??? theyre fine i guess

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

not so much homesick as “omg i need to get home im having a panic attack”

(67) Are You A Virgin?

nop

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

original source i think?? just get whatever

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Car for sure

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

nope

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

it was Atomic Blonde until i heard about all the queer baiting and shit, and i would’ve watched it regardless cuz kickass older woman beating people up but theres enough violence against queer people as it is

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

would you like to pick between, abusive ex number 1, abusive ex number 2, friend who we got together cuz we were being pressured by friends and realised we were just friends, ex who was obsessed with me and i didn’t feel anything for but you’re too young to realise that shit aint love, ex who was so torn up about his sexuality he seemed to genuinely fear admitting it or the ex who i never technically got together with but was in love with but had no idea how to go about it cuz “healthy” and “relationshop” where not two words that belonged in the same sentence according to past experience

honestly the best relationship i ever had before Kae was just a friend who was there for me after being abused and we fucked from time to time and there was no “going out” aspect to drag us down

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

shrug, never been one for quotes

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green i guess?? gimmi unnatural contacts, they can be sexy, i never see a natural eye colour and think “i wanna bone that” tho

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

dont have a question about sexiness followed by a question about swinging and expect my brain not to go there

but yes swings are the best i love them

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

leetle pizza

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

WoW companion App is the closest to a game, D&D character sheet app too

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

wtf yes???

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

ask me if ive been OFF the computer for 5 hours straight

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

no i actively avoid most of those sites, tumblr is the closest but i tend to follow the art only blogs of people anyway

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

in theory???? but generally no

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i do, always at least 2, a spinning ring for anxiety and a spiral copper band. will wear more if feeling fancy

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

bed is on a mezzanine but the other doors are clsoed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

walked the doggo, talked to landlord, avoided a withheld number who was ringing for like a solid 5 minutes leave me alone

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

i just take off my jeans and sleep in that

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

ughhh soap scrubs, face cream, sea salt hairspray, coconut oil…errr makeup/nail varnish i guess i dunno

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

is neither an option

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

*groans* n-no thats way too much effort

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

i dreamed a was in a shop (well.. it was a white void with a single shelf) and i picked up a mug and looked at it. that was it. the endand it was a couple months ago

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

hmmm cherry coke or fanta

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

audible ones

crunchy leaves are good? OMG wait no that echoing ice crack sound on massive lakes that stuff is the best

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

exhausted

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

if only i knew

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

hmmm ive considered my sigils but the act of marking them on my skin is a whole part of the process for me so maybe not, geometric stiff is my jam tho, i dont like “picture” tattoos

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

#long post #me

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thepalegoldmoon · 8 years ago

Text

Answers

so i was asked to answer all of these so here i gooooooo!!!!~… kms… ;u;

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

uhhhhmmm i dont really hold hands cause i over heat and the get clammy easily, so the last person i “held hands”/ linked arms with was actually at Anime Boston with this rad dude Jay, we were cosplaying Keith and Lance from Voltron. it was a good day, but we were tired as fuck.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

kinda both depends on the situation and who im around tbh

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

in general or like famous??? uhhhmmm, if we’re going in general tbh me rad ass mate Jay cause why wouldnt I be looking forward to seeing this kid??? hes literally the best thing or person to see ever, duh! and if were going famous??? uhhhmmm music wise either Panic! At The Disco, TOP, orrrrr maybe a tie between some one from the Hamilton, or Heahters musicals.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

again depends on the situation and people. over all id say yeah in some way.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

uhmmm idk because we’d both probably be shit faced and tumbling over each other screaming, incoherently and laughing our asses off. While simultaneously getting into 20 different fights over cheese, bread, and cats. Then crying about video games and anime. probably in the midst of this we’d be laughing and patting each other’s back telling each other how good of a bro the other is an how we’re gonna take over the world by the sheer brute force of dogs and cats

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

uhhhhmmm i dont really have a type but there’s a guy i like alot whos my dream guy tbh, and to me hes perfect in alot and pretty much every single way. ºuº

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

probably not but its nice to hope and dream c:

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

either rn my friend Casey cause shes in spain this week for vacation or my childhood bestfriend Liz cause her birthday just pasted on april 7th and i havent seen her in years.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends on who im with and what exactly kinda stuff were talking about. but im always awkard af with everything so im always uncomftorble.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mi boi Jay!!~ we tend to get into deep conversation alot. i enjoy it alot tbh hahaha.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

(when i got to this quesion)

WE WILL BE TRASH GODS!!!~

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

UHMMM pass cause honestly the whole entirety of Heathers and Hamilton pretty much.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

OMFG HELL YEAH I DO!!!!!!!~

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah man thats always been something i believe in because i have the most terrible luck but i like to believe miracles have happened in my life.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i started the change in my social life and i got a really rad friend through the beginning phase of it!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

uhmmm ive only done pecks cause im fucking looser so that was Jay, so hell yeah i would man hahaha! (hes got a kissable face its nice alright, i swear im not this fucking awkward XD) ((and bro i know youll end up reading this. i love ya man!! i hope this isnt too bad lol~))

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

fuck yeah i do bro. i wanna befriend at least one of them tbh.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

not really cause the kid left after 5th grade and i never saw him again,

19. Do you like bubble baths?

fuck yes.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont really talk to them haha.

21. What are you bad habits?

i have alot, talking to much and fighting HARD during a fight, and having the worst timing for smart ass comments, and trying to change things i cant change too much. theres more but thats a good few.

22. Where would you like to travel?

everywhere and anywhere tbh

23. Do you have trust issues?

a bit ive more developed them because of shitty people

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

either shower or the part where i come home and either draw, eat, play video games, get to text my boi, or where i get to sleep.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my nose, the corners of my mouth or my big toes.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

text my friend good morning or get up and play with my mouse for a few minutes

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

i enjoy my skin tone but i wish i could tan ith out burning although, ive always wanted to either be albino or see what its like to be darker.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

either Jay, or my friend Casey

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope because i dont talk to them XD

30. Do you ever want to get married?

at some point maybe haha

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

almost but the sides and some of my bangs are just a teeny bit off from making it :u:

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

uhmm not really any tbh theyre all to much older than me

33. Spell your name with your chin.

alyxx/ nyxx

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

ew no but i like swimming and to go on walks for fun

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

thats hard cause i need both for background noise

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

not really, i dont think so

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

something really stupid and half the time really provocative

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

ahhhh hahaha well i dont really know because the guy im crushing on is my dream guy js. and if i were to try and describe him id butcher the amazing and astounding beauty of the real person to be honest

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

ahhhh idk, lush?? and anything with food tbh

40. What do you want to do after high school?

die, or move to salem WITCHever comes first -u0 lol (bad pun i know i know)

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

i belive in ALOT of chances tbh

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

either im tired, extremely sad/depressed, overthinking/ thinking, focusing, thinking how to reply something or im REALLY fucking pissed off at you for something.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

REALLY FUCKING AWKWARDLY AND IN REALLY FUCKING AWKWARD SITUATIONS

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

UHHHHHH BOTH!!!!!~ TF?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

THE INPENDING FEAR AND DOOM OF CRIPPLING ANXIETY IF I MISS THE BUS OR if im hanging out wiht someone that day the motivation of not being alone in my room with myself for the whole day or so hahaha, or a con/ meet up which applies to friends.

46. What are you paranoid about?

AAAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION???? fucking everything…

47. Have you ever been high?

yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

buzzed not drunk

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

uhhh i dont think so im not really very secretive. maybe like PERSONAL shit but no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

a few times

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

uhmmm either eye color and nose Physically.and personality wise i wish i wasnt so stubborn tbh.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

lush is the closest thing to makeup i use hunny

54. Favourite store?

lush

55. Favourite blog?

@thedevilandhisfiddleofgold c;

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food?

uhmmm theres too many to list, all?? except spicy

58. Last thing you ate?

a cracker with nutella on it

59. First thing you ate this morning?

a cinnamon powdered sugar doughnut

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

nope

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Suspending, accused of stealing shitty locker wallpaper panels. THAT I ACCTUALLY FUCKING HADNT ;U;

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

YES ;-;

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

never fucking had one kiddies sorry no story time for this one

65. Are you hungry right now?

kinda i want chips

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

uhm my only tumblr friends are friends in real life so not really because how do you like someone more on tumblr than you like them in real life??? not like its impossible its just odd.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

neither tbh, i only use my facebook for my work schedule

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

TUMBLR

69. Are you watching tv right now?

yes i started 13 reasons why

70. Names of your bestfriends?

jay, casey, liz (ranked most to least interaction and tbh who ive talked to most recently, those other two loosers never text me)

71. Craving something? What?

chips, cookies, FOOD, and love, BUT MOSTLY FOOD RN

72. What colour are your towels?

we have mostly white and black towels but theyre all just multicolored

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

(im also counting my stuffed animals as pillows)

at least 11 tbh

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

(refer to last question)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

75. Favourite animal?

wolf, fox, raven, snowleopard, cat, snake (i cant choose)

76. What colour is your underwear?

black like my soul bitch

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

birthday cake or cotton candy/ bubblegum

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black

80. What colour pants?

dark grey

81. Favourite tv show?

uhmmmm Voltron or steven universe

82. Favourite movie?

heathers and the crow

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

havent seen the second one (refer to previous question)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

the lebanese chick and the gay guy that were friends with lindsay lohan’s character

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

thats a hard question cause i love them all ;-;

87. First person you talked to today?

Jay (and caiden???) i sent a message to a group chat right after i woke up, i was pointed at Jay but theyre both in that chat

88. Last person you talked to today?

same chat

89. Name a person you hate?

ahha ahhahaha hahahaha, mmmmm theres alot

90. Name a person you love?

Jay, Casey, my pets

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

better question… is there not????

92. In a fight with someone?

i dont think so but im aboutabe casue they wont give me times on if theyre coming tomorrow or not ;-;

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

2 and a pair of sweat pants i made into shorts

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

hehehe at least 6 or 7. tbh my attack on titan one has been issing for a while and it makes me sad

95. Last movie you watched?

heathers, im not saying the technical last one cause it was gross as fuck and doe not count as a movie to me

96. Favourite actress?

ehhh hellena bonham carter

97. Favourite actor?

johnny depp

98. Do you tan a lot?

not really cause i burn and im afraid of getting skin cancer

99. Have any pets?

2 guinea PIGS and a mouse

100. How are you feeling?

alright kinda missing my friends and also kind anxious

101. Do you type fast?

depends on my mood, what im typing on, and about

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

so.. many… things…

103. Can you spell well?

fairly decently i think, average nothing over the top but i try haha

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

ehhh Liz and my friend Julia from Germany she was cool.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

there was a girl named shannon who was all over me and head over heels for me, she mightve been a taurus. she tried to use some serious mental shit to try and get me to stay. i told her to seek professional help and not me.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

nope

108. What should you be doing?

a 10 page paper and finishing final fantasy, and getting more loot boxes in overwatch

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not really knowing what to do with my senior paper, shop friends, being alone, and not having enough hours in the day and always being fucking tired.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes, i do right now, tbh, but its cool

111. Do you have trust issues?

this was already asked. slightly it depends on the person

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

no one, mentally and close to physiccally jay and caiden, but im always mentally crying. i dont physically cry if i do youre special, im not that soft.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Ash

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

i was born in pittsburgh, pa. i lived in townsend, ma and i just recently moved to pepperrel, ma.

115. Do you play the Wii?

not any more

116. Are you listening to music right now?

not really

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YAS

119. Favourite book?

how to make the perfect boy?? (its something like that) i also really enjoyed mrs. perigrines home for peculiar children.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

im afraid of what might be in it

121. Are you mean?

i can be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

ew not wtf

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

probably not

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

kinda but only to an extent

125. Do you believe in true love?

again kinda but only to an extent tbh

126. Are you currently bored?

a bit

127. What makes you happy?

chilling with jay, playing wiht my animal or sleeping

128. Would you change your name?

i want to, im trying to get Alyxx as my name hahah but i have a genius way to keep ASH

129. What your zodiac sign?

GEMINI BIATCH!!!!~

130. Do you like subway?

yeah its alright

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uhhhh hahah i already dated my childhood bestfriend. Liz was chill but id kindly turn her down

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

already answered this up top, but Jay

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hmmmm i have too many tbh, id love to put one here but i cant think of a good one atm sorry my dudes

134. Can you count to one million?

maybe but im to lazy to fam

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

hahaha ive told too many to put those down

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

CLOSED OMFG NO #TRIGGERED

137. How tall are you?

5′5.25″ ( THAT QUARTER IS IMPORTANT ;u;, believe it or not i had=ve alot of friends that are taller than me)

138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy-ish

139. Brunette or Blonde?

i myself am a “brunette”

140. Summer or Winter?

kinda both

141. Night or Day?

ehh more night but i enjoy both

142. Favourite month?

either, October, November, December, and i actually am not a fan of my birth month may haha

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but ive thought about becoming one to cleanse and to get in better shape kinda reasons

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk and white

145. Tea or Coffee?

both

146. Was today a good day?

ehhh kinda

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers but i wanna try a mars bar

148. What’s your favourite quote?

hahah either

“ another fucking heather! -sighs- Our love is god let’s go get a slushie!”

-JD “Heathers”

( i relate most to the heather part tbh)

“ill hook ‘em…” “..and ill cook ‘em!”

-Roadhog and Junkrat “Overwatch”

( YEAH I KNOW IM TRASH BUT ITS A PRECIOUS QUOTE BETWEEN TO REALLY GOOD BEST MATES OKAY!!!??)

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

WHOLE HEARTEDLY, IVE SEEN THEM, IVE FELT THEM, IVE HEARD THEM, TALKED TO THEM, I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND THEY ARE KINDA SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING BUT I LOVE THEM!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“WOW MAGNUS, you’re probably thinking. That was… stupid!”

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard

#my asks #non anon

2 notes · View notes

livebiganddie · 8 years ago

Note

Ask meme: all

i was told to do all from both posts so alright here we go with that first one

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

black

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

ive only ever lived in city places and i cant stand bugs so i guess city bc im a City Boi

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

uh i really wanna know how to skateboard. so id learn skateboarding or how to be able to skateboard bc my feet are really shitty and idk if i can skate with them

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

i hate coffee and im picky about my hot teas. it has to be pretty sweet so yes sugar

What was your favourite book as a child?

hmm i really loved the magic treehouse series

Do you prefer baths or showers?

showers because baths feel inefficient in a way. idk. should probs treat myself take more baths tho

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

oooo id probably be a werewolf or Cerberus. since werewolves are generic and Cerberus is like a single entity, leaning more towards werewolf

Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

paper. electronic books fuck with my eyes more

What is your favourite item of clothing?

my binder uh my space jam t-shirt

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

uh Dennis is an ok name. i dont really like where it came from, but i like when my friends call me Denny and idk its cute and i dont wanna change my name and lose that. im going to legally change my name eventually, but im still figuring out what im going to change it to. Something Dennis Something

Who is a mentor to you?

i dont view anyone as a mentor. at least consciously. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

like being famous would mean id have money so im soo down for that. but never being left alone, never havign truly private moments, being constantly critiqued, etc would wear down my mental state really fuckin quickly. but yes, for the money. id wanna be famous for something dog or animal related and/or just being a really nice/loving person

Are you a restless sleeper?

uh sometimes. it depends a lot. my sleeping has gotten better but i wouldnt say its the best sleep

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

uh i dont really think so. im still sorting out what shit is stuff i like and what is stuff i think i feel obligated to like. but yeah bein grey aro is v v interesting

Which element best represents you?

i guess water? bc it can be really calm and forgiving but it can also be really fuckin not chill

Who do you want to be closer to?

myself and other people. just in general other people. i close myself off a lot and im still learning to be open and i havent really experienced much closeness, both mentally and physically. like example: i dont wanna freak the fuck out if i accidentally sit too close to my friend and we touch. idk stuff like that

Do you miss someone at the moment?

i dont think so

Tell us about an early childhood memory.

when my grandpa was still alive and able to drive himself, he used to take me to denny’s every week. i got the same thing. a waffle and apple juice. we always talked but i cant remember about what. probably silly kids stuff lol

What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

im sort of a picky eater, so if it sounds strange i probably wont eat it. im pretty sure all the stuff ive eaten is p “normal”

What can you see outside your bedroom window?

i can see my university’s stadium, other apartments, a dumpster, a small tree or two, road, sidewalk

What are you most thankful for?

making it to where i am now. things might have been shitty and they might be shitty now, but i am thankful for the opportunities ive been given to be where i am now with who im with now

Do you like spicy food?

i love spicy food unless it makes my nose burn. its fine if its my mouth, but not my nose

Have you ever met someone famous?

maybe a race car driver or two (bc of my hometown) but other than that, no

Do you keep a diary or journal?

i used to. i need to take it up again. its really nice

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pencil. i make too many mistakes for pens

What is your star sign?

capricorn

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

crunchy. and get tf outta here if you like soggy cereal man (jk you do you)

What would you want your legacy to be?

being a kind and loving person (also being funny but thats less important to me)

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

i like reading even though i rarely read anymore. the last thing i read was probably the mystery book called like Night or One Night or something. it was p good

How do you show someone you love them?

i try to be there for them if they need me, do small things for them, buy them things when i get the money

Do you like ice in your drinks?

depends on the drink. milk? no. juice? yeee tea? hell yee water? yeah

What are you afraid of?

heights, the unknown, the future, spiders, people i love dying. theres more but i cant think of them rn

What is your favourite scent?

lavender or lilac. fuck me UP

Do you address older people by their first or last name?

growing up, i was told no matter what to not call people older than me by their first name, even if they were okay or told people to call them by their first name. i still kinda do that. im tryin not to tho bc if they wanna be called by their first name, i should respect that

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

oh SHIT man i would help so many people. i would let people stay at my place if they needed/wanted. i would donate all kinds of shit to all kinds of people. i would give my friends shit. i would save animals from shelters and live in a decent place that the animals would like and my friends could visit

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

the ocean beat me up so much - pools

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

spend it on my summer bills

Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

i honestly dont remember if i have or not

What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

dont take people’s bullshit. love is important, but letting people treat you like shit isnt okay

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

i already have a tattoo, but if i were to get another one id wanna get a tree (maybe pine?) on the back of my calf

What can you hear right now?

my ac (couple min after answering this, i started listening to Dan Bull’s Dishonored rap on repeat)

Where do you feel the safest?

i could be gay and say “with my friends!!” but honestly, all my friends and i are queer, not cis, and one of them isnt white so im worried for their and my safety a lot (when together and separate) my apartment or my friends rooms are the best places i got but even then i dont feel 100% safe and comfortable. and idk i know a lot of people have more reason to feel unsafe so i guess comparatively, im pretty safe

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my (lack of) motivation

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

uh the past was really shitty i dont wanna go back

What is your most used emoji?

the blue heart bc im gay as fuck

What is your favourite season? Why?

winter bc i love snow and i hate being hot and sweaty (and i get hot and sweaty p easily)

How would you spend your ideal day?

id have slept the previous night for 12 hours, id spend time with friends watching steven universe or brooklyn nine-nine, eat some really good pizza with green peppers, watch youtube, and at some point drink some chocolate milk and apple juice

Describe yourself using one word.

silly

What do you regret the most?

regret for me doesnt last long. when i look back, all that ive done has made me who i am. right after something happens ill get high fuckin levels of regret, but eventually they go away. currently my regret is singing loudly while doing the dishes bc my roommate and their dad walked in on me doing that and i didnt realize so idk how long they were there listening/watching me do that

Invent your own word. What does it mean?

uh oh boy im not creative. noop. means to not be a fan of something or to be in a bad mood.

ok second post time

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

i wish i was like 5′8″ at least (currently 5′6″ and a bit)

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

i really want a dog or a cat or both right now. i know i can choose things that arent real, but man i want a doggo or a kitty

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

i like the look skaters have lol i like more edgy clothes i guess? street wear. stuff like that

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

i loved the scooby doo games i had growing up like holy shit. i had night of 100 frights and scooby do unmasked (both for xbox) man i miss those games

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

things: money, food, homeworkpeople: my friends

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

WARNING: Quiet, anxious exterior hiding super gay interior

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

wasnt given a person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

uh idk how accurate this is but i took a quiz and it told me melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

sometimes. depends on who it is, where it is, how im feeling

10: Are you allergic to anything?

normal stuff and cats. cats make my eyes really itchy. still gonna get a cat one day tho

11: What’s your sexuality?

asexual/graysexual

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

assuming its hot tea, cocoa

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

i wanna say im a both person, but thatd be lying. i do lean more towards dogs

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

merperson

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

i really like good mythical morning and cryaotic

16: How tall are you?

5′6″ and a bit

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

Something Dennis Something (im still working on it lol)

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

i havent weighed myself in a while so i dont know exactly how much i weigh rn, but lets just say i weigh more than 200 lbs

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

i dont know. thinking about it fucks with my mind

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

space is scary as fuck, but the ocean is scarier imo. i like space better

21: Are you religious?

22: Pet peeves?

when my stuff gets out of the order i put it in is the only one i can think of rn

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

nocturnal

24: Favorite constellation?

the dippers bc i have freckles that make a dipper :)

25: Favorite star?

dont have one :/

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

sure

27: Any phobias or fears?

heights, unknown, spiders, death of people i love, becoming someone i hate

28: Do you think global warming is real?

yes

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

idk. i think itd be interesting.

30: Favorite movie?

a big’s life and the fox and the hound are the only movies i can think of rn

31: Do you get scared easily?

i startle extremely easily. i also get scared/creeped out fairly easily. i still watch horror shit tho lol

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

just two. my siberian huskies Wolfie and Dakota

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

youre on anon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

34: What is a color that calms you?

blues calm me bc theyre so pretty, theyre my fav, and psych shit lol

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

uh im not sure where i wanna travel, just that i wanna go somewhere else. i wanna live in a place that doesnt get too hot, but does have sunshine regularly so i dont get stuck in Depression Zone

36: Where were you born?

indianapolis, indiana

37: What is your eye color?

blue

38: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

idk if i believe, but i think theyre fun and i like reading horoscopes and reading zodiac shit

40: Hugs or kisses?

uh never been kissed so hugs

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

im p good rn. my friend recently left my place. alone time is chill

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

my friends

43: Any piercings you want?

i want an industrial on my left ear

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

fuck yeah i do

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

no and no

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

no crush lol

47: What is a sound you really hate?

the chair i have that is a rocking chair, when it balances on the back and i dont sit down slowly, itll slam against the ground. i hate that

48: A sound you really love?

baby animals. just in general. so cute

49: Can you do a backflip?

50: Can you do the splits?

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

dont have one

52: Favorite movie?

this was #30

53: How are you feeling right now?

anxious as shit

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

blue or blond

55: When did you feel happiest?

with my friends, watching playthroughs on youtube, listening to my fav music

56: Something that calms you down?

lavender/lilac

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

the usual depression & anxiety, trichotillomania, and since trich is seen as some form of OCD, maybe i have some OCD too? who knows, i dont

58: What does your URL mean?

my friend tagged me in a post and was like “new life motto” i was like “agree” and made the phrase from the post my url

59: What three words describe you the most?

silly, gay, reserved

60: Do you believe in evolution?

yes

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

aphobia, antisemitism, shit like that

62: What makes you follow a blog?

dogs, relatable content, i think the person is cute, pretty content. extra follow if they have multiple of these

63: Favorite kind of person:

kind but takes no shit. is not shitty

64: Favorite animal(s):

dOgS, cats, sloths, seals, manatees, snakes, uhh and the rest of the animal kingdom

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

handsomedogs, all the ace/aro positivity blogs, all the nonbinary positivity blogs

66: Favorite emoticon:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

67: Favorite meme:

fUCK this is hard…. i guess the new positivity memes. where it took something super negative and made it cute and :)

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

INFP-T

69: What is your star sign?

capricorn

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

black jeans, grey vans, black socks, space jam shirt (or my black & white vans shirt), my (black and white) staff hat, and my black and white bracelet

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

im simultaneously really fucking loud and also super fucking reserved and shy

75: Can you do a front flip?

76: Do you like birds?

yes

77: Do you like to swim?

uh yes and no. i always hated swimming in swim suits and i dont have trunks that fit me and you cant wear shirts in pools and i cant be shirtless (i totally would tho to spite someone. like “um take off ur shirt u cant wear it in the pool” “yeah ok” *takes off binder* “motherfucKER” idk) but i like being in the water and chilling and i love lazy rivers and stuff

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

swimming. ice skating is so scary

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

shitty people or just people

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

my bank account overflowing in money

81: Piercings you have?

both of my earlobes are double pierced

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

i wasnt good at it, but i really enjoyed playing tennis with my old friend. i had a good time every time

83: Favorite person to talk to:

my friends

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

i dont remember much. i joined octoberish in 2012

85: How many followers do you have?

only 364. not much

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

uh i havent tried in a long time but im gonna go ahead and guess no

87: Do your socks always match?

nope. if i can, i usually mismatch them on purpose. they have to have the same texture/thickness though

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

89: What are your birthstones?

garnet

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

dog or sloth

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

idk. i like hydrangeas. so them

92: A store you hate?

i cant choose just one, but the type of stores i hate are problematic ones that appropriate shit or are racist and shit

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

00000000 i hate coffee

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly. reading minds would stress me the fuck out

95: Do you like to wear camo?

yes and no. see, i hate camo. i think its ugly as fuck. but i do have a shirt i got free from school thats camo. its a little big on me and its comfy to wear to bed or i wore it when i went swimming in the ocean

96: Winter or summer?

my mental health is saying summer but my body temp is saying winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

around 49.26 seconds

98: Least favorite person?

too many to choose from

99: Someone you look up to:

jeffrey marsh

100: A store you love?

tillys, vans, zumies. (im like 13 lol i know)

101: Favorite type of shoes

i like mid rise shoes. like converse street mids, vans half cabs, vans bedfords. i also like old skools. i like new balance 710, 576, 574, 565. i like saucony too. not their athletic shit, but their causal wear shoes. NICE. idk i just love sneakers

102: Where do you live?

indiana

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Dioptase is really pretty

105: Do you drink milk?

yes

106: Do you like bugs?

i like them when theyre not near me

107: Do you like spiders?

spiders creep me out so fuckin much

108: Something you get paranoid about?

mostly how people feel about me

109: Can you draw:

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

uh i think it was something about turn ons or whatever

111: A question you hate being asked?

“What do you want to do after college?”

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

think so

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

yeah

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

suns out, but there are clouds in the sky

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

116: Favorite cloud type:

Stratocumulus

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i like it blue

118: Do you have freckles?

yes

119: Favorite thing about a person:

uh their laugh or smiles. i like seeing people happy and everyones laugh and smiles are different and cute and unique and wonderful

120: Fruits or vegetables?

fruits

121: Something you want to do right now:

sleep or eat

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

sky

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sweet. sour shit makes my jaw hurt

124: Bright or dim lights?

ideally, neither bright nor dim, just the right amount. but dim if not bc bright lights for too long give me headaches

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

idk

126: Something you hate about Tumblr

all the fuckin nazis and racists and aphobes and shit

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

people punching nazis, ace/aro people coming together to have a good time, the positivity posts

128: What do you think about the least?

im not sure

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

my real name, even if it hadnt been legally changed yet

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

a racist

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

im not entirely sure. like there are things i hate and things i love but idk something thats both

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

yeee i do

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

god no

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

i think i get motion sickness. idk about seasickness

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

i think lobed

137: Do you believe in karma?

idk

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

a solid 3.1

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

some friends call me Denny :)

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

i dont think so? i cant remember

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yes

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

ive been both, but i hope more good than bad

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

i love giving other people things and helping others

144: What makes you angry

being disrespected, hypocrisy, racism, aphobia, most cis people, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, etc etc

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

only 1 fluently

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

this question makes me laugh. all of my friends arent cis. idk its easier to be around fellow trans/nb people than cis people

147: Are you androgynous?

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

eyes

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

im a pretty kind person

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

i dont wanna talk to anyone im p good rn

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

answered this

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

yes and no

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

im a single pringle

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

i havent really done it much but i think i like it? im not entirely sure

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

yes i do

156: What embarrasses you?

me singing, my music tastes

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

fuckin everything

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

“yeah im a straight girl”

159: How many people are you following?

319

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

80,086

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

0162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

13,576

163: Last time you cried and why:

uh i think it was bc i was really overwhelmed with school and i had realized i was being taken adtantage of (again) and my eyes were ready to GO

164: Do you have long or short hair?

short hair

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

its been down to my ass before

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

people use it as an excuse to be shitty

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

its interesting to me

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

ive only worn it twice but idk i guess its okay?

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yes

jesus christ this is long. ok. thank you anon

#personal #ask #answered #anon #anonymous #long #holy shit so long #im so sorry

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useless-lesbian-canadian · 8 years ago

Note

All the numbers ✨

this was almost mean in a way cause its so late but here you go, i dunno why youd wanna know all that about me but thanks for making me do them all i guess :P

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?- tbh i dont even know, its been too long3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - my mom, she’s coming to the city sunday. i miss her. 4. Are you easy to get along with? -i would like to think so yes, i try to be easygoing and nice so theres that. 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? -no7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - i mean i think id want to be, i doubt it would happen tho….8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - honestly nobody..9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - sorta, i mean i get that its so mainstream but I’ve never been one to talk about it unless its with someone I’m interested in and have know/had a connection to for a while. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - someone who i no longer in my life so it doesn’t matter. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? -“ lol am i supposed to support you eating them or stop you tho” to my cousin12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Stay- Zedd & Alessia Cara, How Not To- Dan + Shay, Lights Down Low- Max Ft Gnash, Happier- Ed Sheeran and still giving it up for Closer- Chainsmokers & Halsey 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - if i like you yes, if i dont then dont touch.14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - sorta, i believe in luck, and that I’m one of the unlucky ones, but not sold on miracles yet15. What good thing happened this summer? - i moved to Edmonton! YAY16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - fuck i dont recall who that was, but i think it was a friendly weird drunk thing so probably not. 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? -yes to think otherwise is extremely stupid and arrogant to think humans are the only life out there18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - no, well i mean unless we’re in a group setting, 19. Do you like bubble baths? - i love baths in general, I’m sad i only have a shower right now :( 20. Do you like your neighbors? - i dont know them, i dont like where they park their car tho21. What are you bad habits? - uh I’m bad at texting back, sometimes i dont think before i speak/type, 22. Where would you like to travel? - the world, Greece, Ireland, Switzerland, Australia 23. Do you have trust issues? - oh fuck yeah, ill admit to that,24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - sleeping?? 26. What do you do when you wake up? - either check my phone or get something to drink27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - a little darker, my family was making fun of me a couple weekends ago cause i look like a ghost in our family photo28. Who are you most comfortable around? - my family and cousin and our friend group29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - ha, haha hahaha that would require them to use words to break up and not just ghost away out of my life forever. 30. Do you ever want to get married? - maybe, if i find the right person. 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? nope not at all32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - tbh idk, I’m more on the demisexual scale here and i dont really think of sleeping with random people including celebrities 33. Spell your name with your chin. no I’m too tired34. Do you play sports? What sports? - soccer and basketball for fun with the fam 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? -tv, i need music to live36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - uh i dont think so37. What do you say during awkward silences? - ramble or ask weird or lame questions 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? - nice and kind with a good sense of humour, has to have some smarts and be a little more mature, but still can fool around. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? -hollister, their jeans are great, winners, warehouse one, 40. What do you want to do after high school? I’m way past high school, still dont know41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - yes but not on everything. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - i could just be observing, or I’m a little sad, or maybe I’m uninterested in the topic43. Do you smile at strangers? - i try to44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? oh fuck uh ocean i guess45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - the need to have money to stay living 46. What are you paranoid about? -nothing really i dont think47. Have you ever been high? -nope48. Have you ever been drunk? - yup, wish i was right now49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that i know of51. Ever wished you were someone else? - sorta, wished i was different than i am 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - everything53. Favourite makeup brand? -…….. moving on 54. Favourite store? - walmart cause its cheap and I’m poor55. Favourite blog? - oh uh idk56. Favourite colour? -blue or purple57. Favourite food? -pizza58. Last thing you ate? - mcdonalds chicken burger59. First thing you ate this morning? - left over wings, so unhealthy but I’ve had a bad week sue me 60. Ever won a competition? For what? i won the music award for highest mark in school. 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? -nope i was a good little nerd62. Been arrested? For what? -nope 63. Ever been in love? - yup, do not recommend 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - it was with my best friend we were 15 in my basement, he was to shy so i kissed him first it was nothing special, turns out I’m gay as fuck65. Are you hungry right now? - nope66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - ……..67. Facebook or Twitter? - twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? -tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? -no70. Names of your bestfriends? - like irl, Sam, Haley, Zach Cassidy, Des71. Craving something? What?- a relationship that lasts 72. What colour are your towels?- blue, and i have a hudsons bay one that is HB colours72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 4 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - yup gotta have melman with me74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - uh under 20 but thats all I can say 75. Favourite animal? - puppy! 76. What colour is your underwear? -navy blue77. Chocolate or Vanilla? -choco!78. Favourite ice cream flavour? -choco or cotton candy79. What colour shirt are you wearing? -grey and it says hog wars 80. What colour pants? - no pants81. Favourite tv show? -atm survivor 82. Favourite movie? - ghostbusters but then new one obvs 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - mean girls is that even a question?84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? - mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - Glen Coco86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - Dory87. First person you talked to today? - my cousin88. Last person you talked to today? - my cousin, we’re roommates so...89. Name a person you hate? -Trump90. Name a person you love? - my mom91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - eh sorta, i like punching thins when I’m in a bad mood but i dont because that not healthy 92. In a fight with someone? -nope93. How many sweatpants do you have? - uh 4/594. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - uh 10 maybe95. Last movie you watched? - Moana 96. Favourite actress? - oh shit uh atm melissa mcarthy 97. Favourite actor? - ryan reynolds 98. Do you tan a lot? i burn99. Have any pets? no my dad does tho i count them sometimes 101. Do you type fast? - yeah sometimes 102. Do you regret anything from your past?- a lot of shit man, way to much. 103. Can you spell well? - nope this is just a fact 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - you know what no, they dont deserve it 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - all the time, I’m a country kid at heart106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - i dont think so107. Have you ever been on a horse? -no horses scare me 108. What should you be doing? - sleeping109. Is something irritating you right now? - sorta 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - hahahahah fuck off yes111. Do you have trust issues? - didn’t i answer this already???112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - probably all my fam at my great grandmas funeral 113. What was your childhood nickname? -Cera after the triceratops from land before time 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yup to Italy, LA, and British Columbia 115. Do you play the Wii? - used to 116. Are you listening to music right now? -nope 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?- yes 118. Do you like Chinese food? - yes119. Favourite book? - i can’t remember its name but its gay as fuck 120. Are you afraid of the dark? -nope121. Are you mean? - i dont think so122. Is cheating ever okay? - no never 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - for some time yes 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? -no125. Do you believe in true love? - idk it constantly changes, sometimes 126. Are you currently bored? -nah not really127. What makes you happy? - music, my family, food 128. Would you change your name? - no 129. What your zodiac sign? - leo130. Do you like subway? - yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - too bad bro I’m gay 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - this was already a question stop repeating 133. Favourite lyrics right now? - Yeah, you're worth the heartbreak and the regret But I don't know how not to Think about you When it's late at night and quiet134. Can you count to one million? - yes135. Dumbest lie you ever told?- a guy asked if i was single while i was working so i said no because fuck if I’m gonna deal with that 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - closed137. How tall are you? - 5'5138. Curly or Straight hair?- its wavy 139. Brunette or Blonde? -im a blonde, tend to like the brunettes tho 140. Summer or Winter?- summer141. Night or Day? - night142. Favourite month? - august 143. Are you a vegetarian?- nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? -milk145. Tea or Coffee? - neither 146. Was today a good day? -it was ok 147. Mars or Snickers? - snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? - its song lyrics but “beauty goes deeper than the surface” aka half of my tattoo 149. Do you believe in ghosts? - oh hell yeah

#ask #answered #questions #its long i know #but im tired and dont wanna do anything about it #so deal with it #Anonymous

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