#i dont think thats how that works maam but whatever

[thehuns-bubble-tea]

-

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

↓Screenshot↓

↑Screenshot↑

[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[emeraldwhale]

literally just a long infodump about my kennel job

uh feel free to ask questions ig i literally love talking about it

baloney is our longest stay dog right now, hes a pittie and hes such a freakin sweetheart. he had ringworm but im pretty sure hes all better now which is great bc hes such a social dog. we also have clover who is missing a front leg but it really does not slow her down even a little bit. shes the type that really needs to be put to work; she really needs the stimulation so i hope we can find the right person for her bc shes not really a family dog. we recently got a case dog (dog involved in a court case or other social work-esque stuff) so i cant be too specific about them but they are the tiniest freakin thing in the worldddd. one gram of protein ass animal. absolute hamster of a dog. love that thang. we also have some puppies that are a begal/great pyranese mix??? which is an insane combo. one of the puppies is just. way bigger than the other two as well even though hes not any older which is pretty funny. we also have mcqueen who was a puppy when we got her (any dogs under 6 months have different protocol bc they dont have all their vaccines yet) but is now over 6 months which means she can be out and about! i felt bad at first bc she was a little bigger than her littermates and would take their food so we had to seperate them and when they got adopted first i was like "thats what you get mcqueen for bein rude thats karma" but now im like. okay karma over. someone come get ya baby. we also have cats obviously but i dont know the cats as well because i get assigned to them less often. we did have a kitten named anouk who was such a freakin joy. he was in pink (pink is our quarantine room, gotta wear full ppe while ur in there) for a very long time bc he had some kind of fungal infection i think. but the couple of times i cleaned his cage he was so playful i loved it. im super glad he got adopted!!! anyway back to dogs we also have bunna whos a grey pittie with just the cutest freakin face ever and i always underestimate how freakin strong she is. that dog is solid muscle. shes been less high energy lately but im pretty sure its just kennel stress because shes been here kind of a while. we also have tappy and tippy who came here together obviously but they were both so nervous we had to seperate them because they were making each other worse. theyre doing a ~little~ better now; tappy wouldnt eat before but now shell at least have a few bites and she did take enrichment today which is progress! staff put them both in A Kennel (which is like the main kennel, usually dogs there are ones theyre pushing to adopt) which honestly i think its stressing her out more because it gets so freakin loud in there but whatever im not the one in charge i guess. i literally had a woman today be like "whats her story" (aka whys she like that) and i had to be like. maam i have no idea we dont often like. get the dogs history unfortunately. it could be any number of things. a lot of dogs do much better out of kennel tho so i wouldnt fully judge any dog by their behaviors here. anyway i could go on literally forever <3

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman

oh boy okay. agh. here we go. right off the bat the opening is just SO good??? its so sick and for what??? the soundtrack to both films also is very clearly 2010s pop music or whatever but still im a fan. shoutout to 2012 and 2014 specifically (bc thats when the movies came out KJHKJASHG)

peter playing hide and seek with his father in the beginning of tasm is very cute until u realize why his fathers hiding =]

AGH. richard parker.

oh yeah i forgot abt the office. so richards office gets broken into and like ransacked bc oscorp employees (????) were looking for his data on the spiders. is this ever stated in either film? no.

anyway! time to abandon our child and leave the country! - richard and mary parker

we learn basically nothing abt mary btw like we have noooo idea who she is shes just there

OKAY ALSO in the first film when theyre leaving richard says "be good" and just shuts the door. in the SECOND one he holds peters hand and rubs his thumb over it then says it and leaves. idk why its different its probably just a mistake but i noticed

FLASH THOMPSON this flash is soooo interesting he has such a fun character

peter being a scrawny brunette white boy and a skater and photographer in like the 2010s and also somehow being single is baffling to me

anyway hes abt to get his shit kicked in

remember how i said flash is a fun character? hes not rn he kinda sucks BUT he gets better

like he hits peter a few times but he gets better i promise

SHOUTOUT TO GWEN shes awesome she doesnt suffer from "only worth being a love interest" disease she actually has a full character

also her checking on peter after the fight is so cute

most of her character development and stuff comes in the second film bc it focuses on their relationship more but its so fun

"ben parker dont u even think abt leaving that filthy box in my kitchen" "these are my bowling trophies" "oh well then by all means please leave that filthy box in my kitchen" I LOOOOVE MAY AND BEN

ben is such a fun father figure for peter. like he says he doesnt know how to parent and take care of him well enough but honestly? he does a pretty good job

THIS. GODDAMN BRIEFCASE. THIS BRIEFCASE RUINS SO MUCH.

"guess who sold it to him? your mother, thats how they met" AGHHHH THATS SOOOO CUTE anyway whatever back to peter

oh yeah the photo of richard and curt. the start of it all. KGJHSKJGH this causes so many issues for everyone now

peter parker in glasses. i wanna be him.

im genuine peter parker is like prime gender envy for me i wanna be him soooo bad

THE DOOR LOCK he managed to build his own remote controlled door lock its so fun

ben is suchhh a good character to compare to richard. bens not even blood to peter but he treated him so incredibly well. and ik richard was in danger and thats why he left but he also just left his son. its more complicated than that for sure but at this point chronologically thats all we know

curt and richard working together is soooo interesting bc richard was just out here working for everyone JGHSKJHG

"youll find your badge to the left" [peter looks for two seconds] "are you having trouble finding yourself?" MAAM GIVE HIM TIME KJGJKSHF

like yes he snuck into this very important building and stole an internship slot from someone else but still!! let the man find a fake name!!!

GWEN oh yeah gwen is dr connors head intern she is so incredibly smart JKGHJSKHGKJ like u see her intelligence a lot more in the second film but shes so smart and i love her so much im a gwen stacy fan

each of the spiderman villains (or marvel in general) either want revenge or to make the world perfect. or both. gimme somethin new. /LHLH ITS FUN I ENJOY THE LIZARD PLOT

"hes second in his class" "second?" "yeah" "are you sure about that?" "im pretty sure" peter and gwen my beloveds <333

they have such a fun relationship and it drives me crazy theyre so cute jhafkjhskj even when theyre not together theyre still like. friends. (dont think abt the second movie we're not there yet)

i wish i was watching this with someone so i wouldnt have to explain whats happening on screen while also giving thoughts abt it. whos gonna step up and watch spiderman with me.

PETER. HE JUST BROKE INTO THE BIG SECRET SCIENCE LAB> U CANT JUST.

hes a little stupid

this might go without saying but if ur arachnophobic i do not recommend watching the first movie bc this whole lab sequence is just a shit ton of spiders. the second movie should be good but this one is. not.

anyway peters touching things and its not going well for him

OH YEAH CURTS TALKING ABT NORMAN okay so dr connors work is strictly to work on curing norman osborn bc he has retroviral hyperplasia (the osborn curse) hes not actually working to help ppl, thats not what he was hired for, hes here to help cure norman so that he doesnt die from this disease that no ones cured yet

so what theyre essentially doing is trying cross species genetics to see if some animal with like. self healing abilities. (like a spider) would cure norman if used in the correct way. thats also what richard was working on with him but we dont learn abt that for a while.

ANYWAY MY FRIEND IS DOING STUFF SO IM GONNA PAUSE HERE. ILL PICK BACK UP ON THIS LATER TONIGHT <3

[filipinoizukuu]

class 1-a hcs based on science and shit: part 1

u cant tell me any of these characters smell completely normal. or good in a way u can make candles out of them. this is my hc list and i am RUNNING with it. @emogaeness this 1's for u, my dude

Aoyama: one of the only 'normal' smelling ones. he defs uses french parfum but also he probably smells like heated metal and cheese all the time. Energy doesnt really have a smell til it interacts with gas so i think he probably just smells like however he wants to.

Mina: IM SORRY TO SAY BUT MISS MAAM IS STINKY AS HECK. mina is an acid producer and therefore smells acidic--and going by what we know of acid, she smells PUNGENT. dairy-like but also sour. BUT her body is probably evolved to be antacidic and she's a gymnast. after reading like, 2 research papers, gymansts chalk (magnesium carbonate) neutralizes acids (caus its 10.5 ph) and so i think while she does kinda smell, it wouldnt be AS bad even if she's training. its possible for her to wear perfume if she wanted, since usually they're around the 7 pH range.

Tsuyu: Oh. wet grass. and just. damp. she probably smells like marshlands or just nature in general, because thats part of camouflage. she probably also has an underlying sweet scent from venom? idk. on the normal she'd probably just smell neutral if a little musty.

Iida: ok i had to wiki this but i dont think he smells like much? he faintly smells like exhaust--but when he overuses his quirk and inevitably combusts whatever engines he uses, the chemical reaction creates sulfur which would make him smell like rotten eggs. otherwise he smells like orange juice (his choice of 'fuel'), sweat, and cologne.

Uraraka: I think she just smells like mochi lol. gravity doesnt really alter her body so i think ochako's normal--if a bit sweet bc she generally seems to like sweet stuff in canon

Ojiro: OK HES JUST GOT A WEIRD LUMP OF FLESH ON HIS BACK FOR A TAIL THO LIKE?? IDK HE SMELLS NORMAL?? maybe a bit like spray-on shampoo and deodorant, but that's it. does a third limb of pure muscle smell like anything? no? godspeed, mashirao, godspeed.

Kaminari: he smells like ozone. He's probably crazy static since he generates the electricity inside of him constantly and is canonically a terrific electricity conduit, so unlike aoyama he'd definitely smell like frying electricity. also. (minor manga spoilers) he bathes enough to be able to call midoriya stinky, so he definitely has basic hygiene. other than that i think he smells like sweaty leather bc of his hero costume and candy.

Kirishima: not quirk related but he probably just smells like sweat. and like, meat. maybe dirt. i love this boy but i'm also a sheeple bc i believe in the hc that he smells like axe body spray. and really good conditioner bc of how fucked up his hair would be by now if he wasn't taking very good care of it.

Kouda: smells like animals. like. bunnies and hamsters and birds and stuff. its not bad per se, but he definitely smells like he's constantly hanging out with the city's local rodent and avian population. other than that he probably just smells neutral/like nothing, since that's more approachable to the prey animals that he seems to favor.

Satou: baked goods and candy.

Shouji: I think Shouji is probably the most hygiene-conscious of all the kids in 1-A. Because of the amount of open/accessible body parts like eyes, nose, ears on his limbs--he probably takes very good care in showering and all that stuff to prevent random infections or just generally damaging any of his senses. Dude's chill--smells like mild soap and laundry detergent.

Jirou: Ah, not gonna lie she probably smells a bit like burnt electrical wires. She's a bit like Kaminari in terms of smell, except her's have that more 'metallic' and burning sharpness whenever she uses the stunning part of her quirk. Other than that... probably also leather because of her hero costume, or just like the inside of an instrument shop (wood, ivory, brass, etc.)

Sero: Packaging type. you know when you pull like, a large strip of tape and--? yeah? that. smells like tack. other than that, excellent hygiene! bergamot and pine or whatever.

Tokoyami: he smells like bird, but only faintly. dude mostly smells a little musty caus he probably never airs out his room. Dark shadow is described like "dark energy" which, similar to aoyama, kaminari, and jirou, probably makes the air around him smell different bc thats gas interacting with energy. Aside from that, he most likely smells neutral. (... maybe with a bit of leather and metal because thats just how his fashion probably works)

Todoroki: Sweat, but not like, a lot. He definitely doesn't smell bad after battles because steam kills bacteria like, fairly effectively, and would eliminate most foul odors. I think he'd smell like Expensive herbal soap or whatever most of the time. He doesn't seem like the type to be unhygienic.

Hagakure: ????? fuck dude she probably tries her best to smell like nothing, caus if her whole schtick is being invisible then its probably best if she just smelt like nothing. imagine being a villain and then promptly getting kicked in the nuts by a gust of wind that smells like strawberry peach.

Mineta: i cant explain it but just... warm grape juice. his... orbs. have oily/sticky like substances to act as adhesive and ill be damned before u tell me he doesn't smell like anything even remotely artificial-grape-flavoring adjacent. he also smells of like,, axe body spray but stronger.

Yaoyorozu: herbal tea on a normal day. most likely the digestive kind just because i think thats the most practical tea to have with a quirk like hers thats reliant on eating large quantities of food. other than that, i think she smells like basic weaponry-grade materials like iron, polished wood, copper, and gunpowder.

Bakugou: stinky boy. canonically, his hygiene's great but that's likely for a reason. he sweats a lot and excessively, and while his sweat is described as 'nitroglycerine-like' it doesn't mean it smells like caramel. the common description for nitroglycerine according to the brittanica encyclopedia is that it's toxic and has a 'sweet, burning taste'. the sweet scent is described as sharp at best--so while its totally okay if you wanna think of his sweat as caramel-like, i just wanted to clear up the misconception that thats what it factually is. ASSUMING his sweat still has a similar molecular makeup to nitroglycerine and has nitric dioxide, it would smell sickly sweet, if slightly neutral due to the nature of sweat itself being odorless when clean. other than that? bkg is definitely just a smelly, smelly boy. smells like sun and smoke and teenage body odor and burnt plastic.

Midoriya: SMELLY STINKY. deku sweats like, a lot. not only does ofa expend a ridiculous amount of energy and probably strains his muscles like crazy (forcing him to expel all that lactic acid in the form of sweat), but he also spends a lot of time just outside in general. science slightly aside, deku smells a lot like grass and dirt and just,,, the outdoors in general. he, like kaminari, smells very strongly of ozone (clean, chlorine-like) because of the sheer amount of energy output OfA has. Not expounding past the manga, Black Whip is described as a quirk that produces tendrils of pure black energy. This probably creates the same effect/smell as an area struck by lightning.

[rigginsstreet]

What's fps relationship with working out like... cuz I've always pictured he was real skinny as a kid before he started playing football, and then when he made the team he started weight lifting regularly and filled out, and maybe that even made him feel a little safer at home or on the Southside knowing he was physically stronger. maybe not ever strong enough to do anything to his dad but at least to stand his ground if shit ever went sideways.

But then I'm sure it went hand in hand with everyone objectifying him at school when he was football captain and also really fit and strong and his memories of working out as a teenager are maybe both good cuz he was in the best shape of his life and loving his sport but also coloured by that...

And then I picture him working out as an adult (maybe w his husband 🥰 or at least before his husbands admiring eyes) but he also would have been doing it in prison for lack of anything else to do... I feel like we've talked abt this before but I just wanna know if u have any more thoughts on the topic

That said fredsythe working out together as teens 🤝 fredsythe working out together as adults beautiful showstopping never before done

feel like this is already more thought than ive ever put into it lmao

i cant see fp as a gym rat. i dont think working out was ever something he liked to do and he only did it because he had to stay in shape for football. and then he had to work out in the army. and then after that.... no maam. but he did pick it back up again in prison just as a way to pass the time/keep his mind occupied/keep him sane. and i do think he kept up with it when he was getting sober for the same reasons. but he doesnt have a set routine or anything its more like whatever he feels like doing in the moment. because hes not doing it to actually build up muscle or strength or any superficial reason, its just a way to entertain himself and keep busy

of course it doesnt hurt that he has his husband there to watch him/participate and fp inevitably gets a little flirty an show-offy 😏

but as a teenager working out was absolute hell and i can 100% see marty or one of the other guys on the team having to physically drag fp to come work out because theyd always plan some shit at some ungodly hour that fp was too tired or too hungover to be bothered with and he’d be moaning and groaning the whole time and its truly miraculous how he ended up being such a vital member of the team but somehow come game day he was always ready. true motivation for the team workouts was the big breakfasts afterwards at pops where he could load up on carbs thats what really got him through those mornings

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Boca”

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG HAD THE F UCKING NERVE THE AUDACITY THE GUMPTION AND THE GALL TO BE AS BOMB AS IT IS literally the moment i heard that rain and thunder i was f cukity F CIKED the way that they just know how to work with more gentle verse parts and theN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WITH THE CHORUS ITSELF SPEAKING OF THE CHORUS ITS F UCKING CRAZY??????????? THAT????????? GODDAMN GUITAR????????????? OWNS MY ASS??????????? OH MY F UCKING GOD JUST THE WAY GAHYEON STARTS IT OFF TO EASE US INTO IT HMMMMMMMMMM- THE ABSOLUTE POWER IN DAMIS FIRST RAP........... SHES SICK™ FOR THAT!!!!!! ‘HOLD UP’ YEAH HOLD UP I WASNT READY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN DAMIS AND GAHYEONS RAPS IN THE SECOND VERSE YOU CANT EXPECT TO BE OKAY AFTER THAT™ ARE YOU SERIOUS- just all of their voices............ the way theyre just so powerful and emotional and you can tell............. siyeon pls your high notes holy f uck-

WHAT IM SAYING Is this song was such a good follow up to scream like F UCK i literally ask after every comeback ‘will they top this’ and tHEN THEY DO

i was so boo boo the fool like i really thought since diamond and breaking out fell into the same genre that it wouldnt be intense like This im 🤡

SO I WILL BE USING THE COMEBACK SHOWCASE TO TALK ABOUT THE DANCE BC OH MY GOD- so they all said that this song was their hardest dance yet................. queens of dance I F UCJUNG SWEAR

FIRST OF ALL THE BEGINNING POSE IS EVERYTHING™

THE PART AFTER THAT WITH DAMI PULLING YOOHYEON INTO HER SINGING PART....................... i just like it a lot

HONESTLY DAMIS ENTIRE PART

YOOHYEONS PART BEFORE THE CHORUS

THE ACTUAL CHORUS

both the upside down triangle hand symbol AND then for ‘boca’ where they make their hands like a mouth................... Iconic™

GAHYEON WITH THE FLAGS?????????? HELLO????????

and then dami................................. i-

the flags............... sua and jiu and yoohyeon.......... Thinking A Lot™

this part with jius bridge lives rent free in my brain

sua sitting on the dancers shoulders and singing the most hard hitting lyrics in the song thats it thats the bullet point

just................. the WHOLE ENDING

shouldve really just put the entire damn video here but i already wrote it out

THEY NEVER PLAY AROUND WITH THE VISUALS EVER!!!!!!!!!!! THE COLORS ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND VIBRANT THE SETS ARE SO DREAMLIKE???????? I WISH I CAN FULLY EXPLAIN IT BUT ALL I COULD REALLY DO IS DESCRIBE THEM AS THEY ARE- THE PINK SET THEY DANCE IN IS SO COOL TO ME THE PLACE WITH THE TREES AND GRASS AND THEYRE DANCING IN THE F UCKING WATER��AND WHERE GAHYEON HURTED US WITH HER RAP AND WHEN THEYRE ALL JUST STANDING AROUND LIKE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES AND WHERE YOOHYEON SAT AMAZINGLY- AND WHERE SIYEON STANDS WITH ALL THE BUSTS WITH TAPE OVER THEIR MOUTHS THE SYMBOLISM™!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN WHEREVER DAMI WAS IN GENERAL.................. [REST]

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THING MOVING ON-

T H E M

okay................................ everyone who follows me KNOWS that im just so whipped for all these women if i was a Brave Bicth™ id tell them they were all beautiful every day to their faces but if this is your first time seeing this CHAOTIC AS F UCK series of posts then-

LOOKATTHEMBEINGBEAUTIFULANDETHEREALPRINCESSESINONESCENETHENBADBITCHESINTHENEXTAREYOUKIDDINGMEICANTBELIEVETHEYREALLYOUTHERELOOKINGLIKETHIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JIU

BELLE????????????? BELLE IS THAT YOU???????????? why does Miss JiU over here just got to be one of the most beautiful women in the GODDAMN UNIVERSE I CANT STAND THIS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!!!! i wont lie to yall but it was gonna be this one or the one kinda at the beginning where shes wearing red..................... and....................... her neck- THE RED IS FIRE BY THE WAY AND THE SAME OUTFIT BUT IN LIKE R.o.S.E BLUE WITH THE CHAIN STEP ON ME- and the black one that we dont really see a lot of.................. the sheer of it............ bicth-

SUA

yes it was absolutely necessary for me to use this shot

OFC MY BICTH ASS NEARLY FELL OFF HIS F CUKING BED WHEN SHE SHOWED UP IN THE TEASER JUST COVERED IN WATER I SWEAR I COULDNT BREATHE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all the red and blue ones just one sleeve and those shorts and all those belts I DUNNO JUST THIS WOMAN AND CROP TOPS OKAY IM LOSING IT IM THIS 👌 CLOSE and then the white dress i cant stand her i really cant-

SIYEON

HOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MISS LEE SIYEON OUT FOR MY NECK I SEE- i just wanna point out first that i love her love for pants like the rest of the outfits are gonna be worn for performing and they all have those baggy pants she loves so much pls shes everything im 🥺🥺🥺 tho the braids and the high ponytail without and yknow what WITH BANGS TOO im........................ i cant stop staring at this picture-

YOOHYEON

SHE IS NOW A LARGE AND SCARY DOG-

this specific hairstyle in the screenshot........ the braids the safety pins with the brown and pink or whatever it was like three different colors just the Serve™ she is serving in that with that outfit and the back of her skirt is long than the front im weak in the knees for you maam- oH THAT F UCKING RED ONE GRABBED MY NECK NAILS INTO MY SKIN AND ALL AND ENDED ME HONESTLY and that chain necklace.......................... keeping words to myself-

DAMI

SHES SO HOT AND FOR WHAT my god this blue hair she is WORKING IT- i had such a difficult time even finding a good screenshot of her and i know the moment i just decided with this one that i was just gonna keep getting distracted by it and i am rn as i type this GOD- the all black outfit she shows up in the very first time in the mv..................... [REST] the blue one with the thing on her thigh with the low ponytail................. [REST x2] herself....................... [D*AD]

GAHYEON

POPULAR OPINION: THIS IS HER ERA

THE MOMENT SHE JUST SHOWS UP RIGHT AT THE START SHE GRABBED US BY THE NECKS AND LET US KNOW SHES KILLING IT LIKE THIS this pink hair is doing her like two million favors like the space bun look right here???????? STUNNING just left long and straight??????? BEAUTIFUL the fit with the beige(?) sweater and skirt and that black outfit during her rap verse the pink dress iM D*AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

A SLAPPER WE LOVE TO HEAR IT-

Break the Wall

oH BICTH the way this song took me back to my edgy middle school years listening to music like this MY GOD THEIR VOICES SOUND SO COOL ON IT like they were using megaphones and s hit THE CHORUS IS SO GOOD IM GOING FERAL™ I FEEL LIKE I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THIS-

Can’t Get You Out Of My Mind

ALL ENGLISH SONG BICTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its all about the yearning its so catchy and good i was literally already singing it randomly right after the highlight medley like honestly this and break the wall are so nostalgic highkey- their pronunciation is so so SO good!!!!

Dear

JIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 IM SO SOFT DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she wrote this herself and its just so full of love and thankfulness and gratefulness and appreciation for insomnias SOMEONE PROTECT HER- and then the rest of the members singing so gently and beautifully there are real tears in my eyes...............

LIKE im just gonna say it every comeback now i guess THEY👏NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏EVER👏 i love being an insomnia so much yknow??? love them as people love them for always providing content and always showing that they love and appreciate their fans and how they always make me laugh and feel better and most importantly of all is THEIR MUSIC not implying anything with capitalizing and bolding that............... unless they are so incredibly talented and show how versatile they are in so many different genres AND THEYVE GROWN SO MUCH IN POPULARITY THIS YEAR AND ARE NOW BEATING THEIR OWN GOALS im so happy to be their fan 😊😊😊 this just became a paragraph of me and how much i love them ANYWAY-

IN CONCLUSION: WHERE IS THE LOVE?????????? ITS BEING DIRECTED AT THIS ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and AS TRADITION:

[intriga-hounds]

Prompt: No punctuation

this is actually from week 2, but i never shared it bc i hated this prompt!!! punctuation is my everything. 

anyway, i was unhappy with what i wrote, so i rewrote it from a new pov. the rewrite is at the top, the original is beneath. 

this is easily my least favorite thing i’ve written for this club lol

Revisit: Changed POV

Well the mall was open again today thank goodness I nearly committed infanticide about thirteen times during the shutdown and even while I was out I wasnt completely sure I didnt want to stop at Home Depot on the way home for duct tape and a shovel you know what I mean hahaha oh no you know I love Brynly and Jaxsen more than anything in the world I would absolutely never anyway as I was saying the mall was finally open again thank you Governor Newsom finally using some common sense and so I left the kids with Ryan to have a little time to myself but not all the stores were open so I had to sweep through real quick to see what was open so that I could plan the whole thing out luckily most of my favorites were open like Lucky Brandddd Nordstrommmm and Lululemon and I have been DYING to go to Lulu because I just started a hot yoga class in Huntington Beach that was supposed to be closed but has just stayed open anyway and you dont even have to wear a mask well anyway there was a line at most of the stores and just about every place was having a sale God there were signs everywhere 50 percent off this BOGO that basically it was a dream come true so I started at Lulu since you know thats my absolute favorite I mean I scoured the app the night before to look at all the cute new summer stuff and when I walked up there wasnt any line which was amazing but there was this girl like guarding the door seriously like actually guarding it like a bouncer she even looked like a bouncer like she was kind of you know on the heavier side and really mean looking but shes in head to toe Lulu so I know shes not actual security shes wearing like the spring 2019 Wunder Under tight and then she had that new Cates Tee Ive been wanting I mean it was MEANT for me it has the same name as me like Kate in a Cates Tee just has to happen so I go up to the doors to go in but Bouncer Girl stops me and is like maam did your appointment come up and Im like excuse me appointment and she goes oh yeah if you scan this QR code itll lead you to a webpage where you can join the virtual line to shop in the store the wait is about 30 minutes right now and Im just floored Im like 30 minutes and shes like yes 30 minutes there are a few parties ahead of you and Im just looking at her like wow I mean it was unbelievable I mean you could see into the store and it was basically empty and I told her that but she was just like yes thats because the store only has a capacity of 15 people according to the safety guidelines and I just was like really seriously that makes NO sense cant you just let me in when those people are done checking out and shes all no Im sorry maam theres a party of three who are next in the virtual line and I just start laughing in her face because that line isnt REAL and theyre not even HERE they wouldnt even KNOW I skipped ahead of them I mean I already know what I want anyway so just let me in I just want to pick up a few things and then she gets this tone with me shes like well these other parties just want to pick up a few things too maam were happy to have you shop with us but youre going to have to join the virtual line and I just cut her off there I was like whatever no forget it Ill just take my business elsewhere I mean obviously because if this is how they treat their customers why would I even go there just ridiculous and honestly Im still thinking about calling corporate because thats really wrong I mean Ive shopped there for years and most of the gals working there know me by name I dont even know who this girl was but she mustve been new because she just didnt have a clue and she was so rude because even as I was walking away she goes have a nice day with the fakest cheer Ive ever heard like I just know she thought she was so hilarious the next time I go to the mall Im going to see if the store manager is in because someone like that just shouldnt be working for Lululemon you know what I mean like theyre an established and really classy popular brand and for that price point they really shouldnt be abusing their regulars like this its just wrong but yeah anyway if you do go to the mall make sure you look out for virtual lines or whatever because it seriously ruined the whole trip for me

Original:

The mall was open again thank goodness Kate had nearly committed infanticide about thirteen times during the shutdown and even now wasnt completely sure she didnt want to stop at Home Depot on the way home for duct tape and a shovel mostly that was a joke to herself a little Wine Mom humor if you will after all Denise had said something similarly hilarious last week at Mom Group but it wasnt really something you could say to just anyone or theyd call the cops or something thankfully there would be no need for that the mall was open and Kate could actually leave the kids with Ryan and have some time to herself though not all stores were open most of them were including many of Kates favorites such as Lucky Brand Nordstrom and Lululemon some had lines to enter but others were ready and waiting for her their windows filled with giant sale signs and bogo deals slashed prices and numbers with percentage symbols it was altogether overwhelming Lululemon was first on her list as she had already scoured the Lulu app for cute new arrivals she was interested in trying on surprisingly there was no line just a plump girl in patterned 28 inch Wunder Under tights from last springs collection and the new Cates Tee in brick an aptly named top Kate felt since it was at the top of her wishlist but as she went to enter the store Wunder Under stopped her with a maam did your appointment come up appointment yes if you scan this QR code itll lead you to a webpage where you can join the virtual line to shop in the store the wait is about 30 minutes right now thirty minutes yes there are a few parties ahead of you Kate gaped at her this is unbelievable she said the store is practically empty yes thats because the store only has a capacity of 15 people according to the safety guidelines well cant you just let me in when those people are done checking out no Im sorry maam theres a group of three who are next in the virtual line theyre not even here so why cant you just let me in I just have a few things I want to pick up yes well we are happy to have you shop with us maam but youll have to join the virtual yes okay whatever I get it maam are you going to no forget it Ill just take my business elsewhere okay have a nice day yeah

Challenge from the book: punctuate the following sentence with only three semicolons

All that is is all that is not is not that that is is not that that is not that is all.

[kinkymagnus]

Hey I've read a lot of your posts, where Magnus is a trans boy and I like that a lot, but I was wondering if you don't like the canon cis male Magnus? I'd ask you non-anonymously too, but I'm honestly scared of some people's hate messages for a question like this... sorry

long answer long answer lmao

hmgmgmnggg ok so i, hm. ok, i don’t think this was meant in a rude way at all, and i promise im in Education(TM) mode not Kill The Malicious Evil Transphobe(TM) mode like im not, accusing you of anything here, at all 

but i do have a few Issues with like, the way this was asked i guess

i will answer your question just--give me a sec, im a little uncomfortable here

also like, ok, i get why you’re sending it anonymously, it’s cool--personally i’ve never seen anyone get hate on behalf of trans magnus headcanons (rather than against them) but i mean, hate can come in all shapes and sizes i guess? and anxiety, so. whatever, it’s fine, i get it

but anyway moving on: first, “canon” cis magnus. my dude... my guy... did at any point magnus say I Am Cisgender or pull out his dick.... like... neither trans or cis magnus is really “canon” just as like, you know, izzy isn’t confirmed straight or bi or pan. we know she likes dudes and personally i think the way she looks at clary indicates she sure do like girls, too, but that doesn’t seem to have been intended so it’s debatable, and that’s basically it. 

also, in the context of just like... historical shit, realistically magnus isn’t cis. is he trans in the way i write about (like afab, “pre op”)? no, not necessarily in canon (although he isn’t... not that either i guess--we do see his flat chest, no scars, but HYPOTHETICALLY that could be a glamour, or the scars are magically healed. we know he has an adams apple, but there ways to do that without magic, let alone with magic. so like. i’m just saying.) 

but like, he wouldn’t be cis how we understand it either by the simple virtue of being much older than the western gender binary as we know it. even if he was born with a penis and all of that and identified as a Man(TM) And Nothing Else that wouldn’t mean his idea of masculinity/manhood would be the same as ours, or that it wouldn’t at least be shaped by very different factors. so like. even if my version of trans magnus isn’t confirmed canon, cis magnus certainly isn’t either i think. that might be slicing hairs or getting finnicky with language, but it’s how i feel about it. 

and just assuming that he’s canonically cis rubs me the wrong way, like, characters aren’t cishet by default, you know? obviously the writers probably weren’t intending to make him trans, and cc certainly wasn’t when she stole his character from dark hunters and made it “her own”, or else there’d be a bunch of transphobic tropes in there, but like, you know, death of the authors, we make sense of canon now. intentions arguably don’t matter, we do with the story what we will, especially when working within it.

again i don’t think you were necessarily being like “well magnus is canonically cis so :/” but it rubs me the wrong way and is something i’ve seen before so like, yeah

secondly, “trans boy” magnus versus “cis male” magnus. why boy, anon. why boy

(god why does “why boy” sound like a bizarre t-shirt slogan or a mbmbam segment--NO, BRAIN. WE ARE ON SERIOUS BUSINESS.) 

but seriously tho like the sort of infantilization of trans men is really a thing (seeing them as “soft bois” and “uwu cute boys” and feminine/soft/small/delicate) and like, specifically calling magnus a trans boy versus when he’s cis he’s a “male” (which technically can refer to any age but has those like, Connotations) sits wrong with me. like, magnus isn’t a boy, you know? i mean i get making jokes like “aw my boys <3″ or whatever, but with this it’s not that say memey context AND specifically it concerns a trans man (not to mention him being asian) so like, it feels, yikes? like just. he isn’t a “trans boy”

im sorry i realize it seems like im just like harshly picking apart your answer and i really dont mean to sound like a bitch here but like, again. Education(TM) mode not Anon Hate(TM) mode. just for learning, it’s cool, i’m not angry at you, it’s chill. 

to answer your question with the yikes language gently nudged to the trash chute: do i dislike cis magnus? 

simple answer: yes.

complicated answer: not really. i already stated why i don’t like Cis(TM) magnus as it feels unrealistic and dumb and also he just doesn’t have cis energy lmao, but if you just mean like... well this isn’t really “cis” but kind of what people mean in this context, AMAB magnus (meaning he was “assigned male at birth” aka has a penis and all that) and he’s canonically gnc so like, he’s “cis” even if his understanding of masculinity might be different than ours and obviously we’ve seen him be gnc and all that.... i don’t really hate that, and objectively, i have no issues with it, but personal taste wise, i basically only read/write trans magnus as you see on my blog now. because i’ve kind of absorbed it as “canon” in my head (fanon, i guess, lmao) 

plus, just generally trans magnus is really important to me because like, a) he is #goals i too want to be a muscular gnc hottie, b) he’s relatable and i project all my shit onto him lmao, c) it just feels very validating, in a lot of ways--with the sexual preferences i write about, his insecurities, just the way he looks, and him being trans is just kind of reassuring, you know? also d) i honestly think it fits him/his character/his backstory and he just has the vibes u kno 

so basically, Cis(TM) magnus? no-go. cis magnus as in AMAB/identifies as a man full stop even if it’s wibbly wobbly compared to current times and lbr no one is going to really explore that much beyond him being outwardly gnc sometimes? fine, whatever. trans afab magnus still being gnc as hell? yessssssss

ldkgjfgh anyway im glad you like my posts!!! and hopefully ive Inducted Another Into The Trans Magnus Cult (thats a joke, but seriously, im just like,,,,,maam do u have time for ur lord and savior trans magnus?? maam blease)  

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

[jimins-melaninfilter]

🔥 PINK PANTHER 🔥

** SMUT WARNING **

After a long busy day at work Y/N just finished up the last bit of paper work for her annoying boss Mr.Scott .

Y/N : Ughh finally now he can get off my back about this damn work .

Y/N gets ups from her desk with a pile of papers and heads to her boss office

Y/N : *knocks on Mr.Scott office door * Hello Mr.Scott I’m finally done with everything you asked me to

𝗱𝗼

here you go .

Mr.Scott : Ahh yes thank you Y/N you know you’re my best worker in the office you’re really amazing you worked really hard go enjoy your weekend

Y/N : Thank you Mr.Scott I really appreciate that I will you enjoy yours as well

Y/n turns around and rolls her eyes while walking out Mr.Scotts office closing the door

Y/N : * starts mimicking Mr.Scott * Blah Blah anyways * Y/N cell phone starts ringing it’s her bestfriend Michelle *

Y/N : Hello

Michelle : Hey girl you off yet or you still being a lap dog for Mr.

𝗪

cott

Y/N : * starts laughing * I’m getting my stuff and leaving now and it’s Mr.Scott your crazy ass

Michelle : Girl you tryna

𝗴𝗼

hang and do something tonight

Y/N : And whats that ?

Michelle : GO TO THE PINK PANTHER BITCH DUH !!

Y/N : ahh I’m to tired I’ll see plus I don’t have nothing to wear

Michelle : Girl you say that boring ass excuse every weekend I’ll be to your house in about 15 mins so hurry up take a shower we are going to find you something to wear !

•

Clicks the phone hangs up *

Y/N : Hello ? Hello ? Ughh Crazy bitch Fine !!

•

Time skip to Y/Ns House *

Y/N : ughh my nice comfortable bed I should really get my ass up and get in the shower because 15 minutes for Michelle means 5 for me the girl drive like a bat out of hell

•

shower time *

Y/N : now I feel a lot better

•

knocking at door *

Y/N : nobody but Michelle * walking towards front door * Comingg

Michelle : Why you not dressed yet girl did you lay down first

Y/N : yes you know me to well , just sit right here and I’ll be ready in 5 mins

Michelle: yea sure grandma Daisy

Y/N : I am not a grandma shut up

Michelle : Hm whatever anyways whatchu got to eat in here * checks cabinets and fridge * just absolutely nothing that’s great girl you need to be in jail cause you aint got shit to eat what the hell you be doing ? starving your damn self ?

Y/N : No I don’t starve myself dumb ass I cook when I feel like it

Michelle: Ugh girl anyway

Y/N : I’m ready let’s go

Michelle: Finally lets go Miss Daisy so we can hurry up and find you something sexy

•

Time skip to the mall •

Michelle: oohh lets go in Agaci they got some cute ass clothes

Y/N : yess thats my favorite store lets hurry so we can go to the food court

Michelle: yea I bet you are hungry cause you aint got shit to eat in that house but crumbs and dust

Y/N : Girl shut up, I do got food it’s just i haven’t cooked it yet , but you wouldn’t know about that since all you do is burn ramen

Michelle: get out my business

•

both girls started laughing •

Michelle : Ouuu girl that rose gold dress is sexy as fuck hold it so you can try it on and this and this and this

Y/N : ok girl damn

Michelle : Oops Sorry

•

both girls start laughing •

Y/N : * stomach starts growling * Uhh * giggles * let’s just try these 5 dresses on

Michelle : Excuse me maam don’t be so rude umm , excuse me do you have any dressing rooms open ?

Store clerk: yes right this way

Y/N : thank you

Michelle : here call me if you need help

Y/N : Will do

•

Starts trying on clothes *

Y/N : ouu this fits nice but I really don’t like it

•

Next dress •

Y/N : Nope hate it

•

next dress •

Y/N : now this is the dress this is damn perfect ! And I have the perfect heels for it

•

Y/N picks the short skintight spaghetti straps that crosses in the back draw string on one side Rose Gold Dress

•

•

Y/N : Now let’s take this off so I won’t mess it up

•

Gets dress and exit dressing room •

Michelle : took you long enough and I’m shocked you didn’t call me

Y/N : I was fine anyway let’s go check out I’m starving

Michelle: Yea lets do that

•

leaving the store •

Y/N : So what are you wearing at the Pink Panther

Michelle: ouu girl I got this nice ass red dress with some cute ass black heels and my makeup is going to be hitting its going to be a sight for the boys

Y/N : ayeeee yess maam we definitely gonna bring life to the party I can’t wait can you do my makeup too ?

Michelle: you know I gotchu girl cause you need a man in your life all you do is work and go home do you even talk to niggas , no sneaky links , like damn you need to get back out there bestfriend you need to get them cheeks clapped for god sakes not a fuck buddy in sight just you and your damn cat

Y/N : Uhh you in my business , dont do that * starts laughing * anyways when I find someone again then I will right now I’m just chilling and leave my damn cat alone

Michelle: girl all I’m just saying is that that just chilling mess waits for nobody next thing you know yo ass just chilling in your damn rocking chair patting that damn cat and watching Golden Girls

Y/N : Aye bitch now wait cause aint nothing wrong with Golden Girls !

Michelle: I know it ain’t cause I watch a couple episodes here and there

•

Both girls start laughing again •

•

while walking to the food court Y/N kept hearing this laugh from somebody a happy cute laugh so she looked and she saw these 3 boys sitting at a table chatting and laughing

•

one of the boys caught her eye but she didn’t want to stare and make it obvious so she kept walking once Y/N and Michelle got their food they finally sat down and ate

Michelle: bitch this food was life a lady was hungry I don’t think I can get my ass up

Y/N : * laughing * you so damn extra this food was hitting but we do need to get up before we be sleeping at the damn mall cause they are about to close girl lets go .

•

time skip back to y/n house •

Michelle : Wheew bitch Ima take a nap before we start getting ready

Y/N : you know that don’t sound too bad I am a lil beat girl

Michelle : * snoring sounds *

Y/N : Ugh she get on my damn nerves

•

while Michelle was sleeping Y/N started to doze off as well but she couldn’t help to think about what Michelle was saying in the mall telling y/n to get back out there and have fun . Previously Y/N had bad luck with relationships and guys although her last fling wasn’t but 4 months ago so it wasn’t that long ago since she had sex or anything •

•

Alarm starts going off @10 pm •

Michelle: Ok bitch wake up lets get fine cut some music on lets go

Y/N : ouu you heard that new Megan

•

starts playing Megan the Stallion •

•

Time Skip to wear Y/N is putting on her dress and heels both girls are done getting ready •

Michelle: Ouuuu bitch now you know you know damn you aint got no business being this fine and I’m serious girl you look good

😌

Y/N : you see me bitch

😜

Bitch that red dress is cute as fuck omg we did a bomb ass job with everything we need to take pictures !

Michelle: a wise man once said A Beat Face starts a Case , Free The Titty Protect The City

Y/N : * starts laughing * Girl who the hell told you that crazy ass shit anyways lets go

•

Club time

😎

Purpleish Pink lights , Loud music playing and people everywhere •

Michelle: Girl this shit is hitting lets go get a drink and a booth

Y/N : Yes I need a good drink

•

while at the bar Y/N heard the same laugh from the mall earlier and thought is this the same guy Y/N turns around and sees a group of guys the same 3 dudes from the mall they just added 4 more

•

dudes to the group and she sees the same cute guy and they met eye to eye a cute , bunny smile bright eyed guy who was wearing some black pants , black shirt , black leather jacket and and some black shoes Y/N was staring so hard the guy winked at Y/N

Y/N : Girl dont look too fast but its 7 fine ass boys behind us and I caught one their attention and he winked at me

Michelle: omg bitch where

Y/N : behind us !

Michelle : do one of them got on all black

Y/N : yea and he got a cute bunny smile

Michelle: yea

Y/N : yes bitch thats them

Michelle: ouu girl they walking over here

Y/N : well bitch quick turnaround so staring

Michelle: okokok just act normal

•

the 7 boys walked to the bar where Y/N and Michelle were bunny guy leading the pack and approached Y/N

? : Excuse me maam I couldn’t help but to see you looking I think I saw you at the mall earlier

Y/N : uhh yea sorry I didn’t mean to stare , I think I saw you too

? : No its ok I dont mind I was staring back myself

Y/N : Ohh * starts laughing and playing with her hair *

? : I’m sorry I’m Jungkook and these are my friends Tae , Jimin , Hobi , Namjoon , Yoongi and Jin

Y/N : Well hello nice to meet you all I’m Y/N and this is my bestfriend Michelle

Michelle: Hey yall wassup nice to meet you all

•

Michelle and Tae had been blushing and smiling at each other for a while until Tae came and sat by Michelle at the bar •

Tae : can I buy you a drink or something

Michelle : Sure that would be nice thank you

Namjoon : Jungkook you should invite her over to our booth to sit and chill

Jin : Yea go back to our booth before it gets taken , Hobi do you want to dance I made some new dance moves

Hobi : Shit wassup I’m down

Jimin : I’m coming to watch you make a fool of yourself so I can laugh

Namjoon : Yea I think I’ll go to , Tae you coming? Tae , Tae

•

Tae wasn’t paying attention to anyone but Michelle they were flirting at the bar •

Tae : Huh ? No go ahead

Namjoon : * shakes his head * whatever , Yoongi ?

Yoongi : Yea I’m coming to watch ans make sure Jin doesn’t hurt his self you know how he is

Namjoon: Yea you do have a point

•

Y/N and Jungkook began laughing at Namjoon and then Jungkook turned to you and asked •

Jungkook: Do you want to come sit with me at the booth and we can get to know each other

Y/N : Yea let me let Michelle know

•

Y/N looks to the side and see that Michelle and Tae are too focused on each other that they not even paying attention so Y/N taps Michelle on the shoulder and says •

Y/N : sorry to interrupt but I’m going to go sit with Jungkook at the booth maybe y’all need to go sit and mingle in private to so y’all can get away from the bar

Tae : * looks at Michelle * how would you like to go sit at booth by ourselves * Smirking licking his lips with his glossy eyes *

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

[sukirichi]

me: im not a kuroo simp 😪

saintobio: think again

FCKING FINALLY I FOUND A FIC THAT ACTUALLY PUSHED ME TO MY BRINK AND MADE ME CRY LIKE A LITTLE BITCH, GOSH OMG TYSM FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I'VE BEEN WISHING I COULD CRY THESE PAST FEW WEEKS AND I FINALLY CRIED ITS SUCH A RELIEF 😭😭😭 ALSO DUDE CAN I JUST??? i just noticed i have a weird pattern every time i read your fics and thats me always feeling HEART CLENCHING pain and also an undeniable horkneeness. And the fact youre able to pull out such emotions from your readers in such a natural flow too is amazing and by natural i mean like, that emotion matches EXACTLY the scene where you want us to feel that from. like the opening scene was so AMAZING (and omg the ones on the akaashi fic and malice afterthought was just the same, you a master at introductory scenes maam, it really all feels so real and instead of feeling like we're being introduced to an entire thing, its more of like hmm...okay you know how in psychological movies the sceneries will change and somehow youre in a new place but like its familiar, you feel like youve been there before and so you just keep watching the new scene, youre immediately immersed in that and the story just keeps flowing? yeah thats what i feel like) also dude your dialogues! no flashy poetry was used but like the words are very in character and youre portraying sexy kuroo so well, loved the backstory of the pairing too! not dragged out but not too short either, it was PERFECT 💪🏻💪🏻💯💯💯 and what i love most (another thing i notice in your other works too) is that you dont sugarcoat anything and hit right on the head what it really is like in real life.

i think this fic just got a thousand times better when kuroo was tempted at the slightest moment. The whole time i was thinking "well yes hes loyal but it'd be unrealistic if his natural human desire doesnt kick in..." but he DID get tempted and thats what i like the most cuz it stays true to human nature and no matter how much you love someone, its also perfectly natural (albeit bad 🥲) to be attracted to someones appearance especially when they havent been getting release! i know people might say thats not true love or whatever but ive been studying the brain like come on people, its a biological need, we cant stop ourself from feeling things, we can only control it. but also DUDE when reader showed up I was like OH HELL NO 😭😭😭 AND AGAIN, HE STAYED BEHIND TO DO HIS JOB AND THATS EVEN BETTER CUZ RUNNING OUT DURING AN APPOINTMENT WOULD BE VERY UNPROFESSIONAL 😐

the scenes of them being domestic as hes got home and her ignoring him...dude i swear i was just a massive pain all over. idk maybe i relate hard to the reader and thats why it hits me harder, like im confident of my looks but doing THAT with someone would make me panic too. totally love how kuroo is patient and respectful of her and the transition to the tension heating up with that makeout was AMAZING, FRICKING FLAWLESSLY EXECUTED MY GOSHHHH. I was like okay things are getting better, im glad reader was right in the head too and focused more on his good sides than the one mistake he made today! BUT THEN WHEN HE FINISHED HIMSELF OFF AND READER WAS LEFT ALONE, I WAS LIKE NVM ITS NOT GETTING BETTER IM JUST GONNA ENDURE THE PAIN 🥲🥲🥲 BUT THE PAIN IS KIND OF ADDICTIVE TOO, IM LEFT AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT CUZ I CAN TELL SOMETHING MORES ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND I WANT TO SEE MORE OF IT

but nothing NOTHING could prepare me for that tattoo scene, kuroo telling her shes fucking insecure left me like...oh wow, oh wow that fucking HURT im talking about skip meals and sleep for 14 hours and cry yourself to sleep again kind of hurt, my gosh that was me as the actual reader, i think i would faint from being overwhelmed (damn this anemic ass) but her outburst was PERFECTTT i tell you PERFECT PERFECT and its even better cuz thw moment shes offering herself, thats when kuroo is like no baby pls dont im sorry 🥺 like idk why that has me so soft and bawling? Like damn I was so invested and I understand what reader is going through, but also I can understand that Kuroo's frustration is getting the best of him. Im not trying to validate his horniness, im not saying hes immediately a good person, but he IS still a person and we have our days, maybe thats his day and hes equally struggling. Im not gonna invalidate his human need too cu, we ALL need that however that doesnt equate to reader having the responaibility to get him off. This is a tricky situation too cuz theres really no right or wrong, I think both of them have done their best in the relationship and current mental setbacks are just getting in the way. Also WOW im actually going here like HMM character analysis but i cant help it this was so goooodddd and this actually made me cry, everything felt so REAL 🥲🥲😭😭😭

i have to admit that for the ending im kind of hot and cold? like im a little OH MY GOSH WAIT WHAT NO SHE DOESNT HAVE TO but at the same time im like WELL...MAYBE MORE DEVELOPMENT (OR ANGST) WILL HAPPEN THROUGH THE DEED! Ofc she doesnt have to do it if shes uncomfortable but I still cant help but feel that there could be something more that would happen and omg im not pressuring you oe anything but if you ever made a part two, that would be a huge BLESS. also dude wow youre my go to haikyuu blog and im falling even more in love with your works like damn, they always hit home and manage to get a flurry of emotions from me. Your writings are so beautiful too! Anyways Im super glad I found your blog! I came for naoya but I stayed for the talent, thank you so much for sharing this with us, I cannot explain how MUCH I LOVED THIS UGH 😫😫😫💕💕💕💕 anyways im gonna go, i need to recover from the pain this masterpiece gave me

pov: the bad boy wants you.

↳ kuroo tetsurou/reader

summary. problems arise when your tattoo artist boyfriend starts getting too cozy with the girls that wanted him to do more to their bodies than just inking their skin. the thing is, they knew what he wanted and they knew what you couldn’t give.

genre. angst, slight smut, tattoo artist au

cw. nudity, mentions of needles, insecure!reader, virgin!reader, dry humping, slight dubcon, bad boy x good girl

notes. hellooo today i give u bad boy (but actually soft boy) kuroo ;) enjoy. no part 2 unfortunately.

masterlist

Kuroo had seen everything.

He wasn’t dumb and he most definitely wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was attractive and this became a reason for some girls to frequently visit his tattoo parlor. To think about it, he was tall, handsome, and had decent style. His tattoo sleeve and his ear piercings even added to the overall bad boy persona that he had—this was probably why many girls were into him.

The girls were very assertive, it seemed, to try and lure Tetsurou into their little seduction game. Was he getting tempted into it? No. He was loyal and he’d like to stay loyal to his beautiful girlfriend.

However, there were certain moments that almost tested his loyalty to you, especially when some of the girls would ask to have their tattoos done at the most intimate places in their bodies.

Yesterday, one girl asked to have a small tattoo on her ass cheek and she was certainly more satisfied at the feeling of Kuroo’s palms on her bum rather than the actual tattoo she was getting. It was crazy.

He mentioned it before to you that it was part of his job to give them their desired tattoos no matter which part of their bodies it would be in. Business is business. Ironically, despite dating a tattoo artist like himself, you had no single trace of inked art on your body. You were like an untouched canvas that couldn’t be painted on. Still, Kuroo respected your choice and he definitely respected your boundaries, too.

He knew that you were a good girl when he first met you in college. You were always prim and proper, always following the rules, and always doing the right thing. He was the exception to your goody-two-shoes nature, because he ended up winning your heart despite being the complete opposite of you. It may be a bit peculiar to see the two of you together, however Kuroo pursued you because liked you. He liked your smile, he liked how cute and adorable you were, and he liked how a simple look at you made him want to be a better man. He loved the idea of being with a girl he could protect.

The thing was, Kuroo dropped out of college and just decided to open a tattoo parlor business because he simply didn’t want to waste his years studying for something he wasn’t passionate about. He thought you’d leave him for his rather reckless choices, but you stayed.

And he was grateful that you did.

So to ask the question again, would he ever do something to betray you after everything? Of course, not.

But he did consider that he was also just doing his job and it wasn’t like he was purposely flirting with the girls that often flocked around him during work hours.

“Hey,” one of the said girl called for him just as he finished picking up the tools he needed and she walked towards the recliner before asking, “Should I sit here?”

He nodded once, turning around to face the girl who looked at him with her alluring eyes. “Yeah, just let me know when you’re ready.”

Oh yes, she was surely ready. She even had a smirk displayed on her face when she slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing her busty chest.

He didn’t really pay attention to the size of her tits but instead, just casually pointed to a certain part of her body, “Is this where you want it?” he asked, referring to her left underboob.

With a very flirtatious grin, she nodded, clearly knowing that her assets were her biggest weapon. “Yes. Would it be easier if I took off my bra, yeah?”

“You don’t have to, I can work it out,” he responded, reaching for his glove.

She giggled along with her bestfriend who sat on the side, waiting for her turn.

“No, I can take it off for you,” said the girl, unclasping her bra and setting her huge breasts free for him to ogle at.

He cleared his throat, averting his eyes as he asked her to sit on the recliner. Kuroo had seen women half naked in his shop before but this was the first time someone got naked in front of him with other intentions rather than to simply get a tattoo.

Because of the awkwardness, he went ahead and blasted some music, rockstar, to distract his mind. He had to think of something else and not stare at the girl’s luscious tits. He had to shift his mind to somewhere else like, for example, why the girl chose a calligraphy of the words ‘la douleur exquise’ on her skin this time.

“Is this French?” he casually asked, urging her to rest her back while he wiped the chosen area with a damp cotton pad. He specifically avoided grazing his hand on her breast but it looked like the girl actually wanted him to touch her more.

“It means exquisite pain,” she purred, batting her eyelashes at him.

His lips formed a smirk, impressed at how much of a skank she was willing to be for him. It wasn’t new, if he was honest. He’d also had a fair share of women who tried to get into his pants last week but they weren’t successful per se.

All while he was getting her tattoo done, the other girl got up from her seat to walk closer to her bestfriend. Kuroo decided to refer to them in his head as Slut 1 and Slut 2 because he had no intentions of knowing their names.

“Hey, Kuroo,” the other girl called, sitting at an empty stool with a smile. “You’re single, right?”

He kept his eyes focused on the skin he was inking on. “...No.”

Even from the corner of his eye, he knew that both girls looked surprised, “No way? You have a girlfriend?”

Was it really that much of a shock?

“Yeah, she’s at work right now,” he simply answered, wiping the trace of blood on the girl’s skin after he finished another letter.

There was a visible pout on Slut 1’s face as if knowing that Tetsurou had a girlfriend was more painful than the needle pricking at her skin. “So, what’s she like?”

Kuroo thought for a while because he didn’t know where to begin. You were everything he wanted in a woman and that was all he knew. “She’s cute and kind.”

His words earned a giggle from Slut 2. “Is she like the good girl type?”

“She is.” He figured it would be okay to converse about you like this. Besides, he’d rather be talking about you than to have these girls just try to flirt with him relentlessly.

“Let me guess,” Slut 1 spoke, “She’s a virgin and a prude.”

That was obviously none of their business but, damn. They were kind of right. He dated you for a year now and you two never really went further than making out.

“I respect her,” was his answer, much to the two girls’ dismay.

“That’s kinda boring, though,” the other girl claimed, draping her arm around his shoulder before leaning close to his ear. “You’re still a man and you have needs. If I were her, I’d sleep with you every day.”

The girl getting a tattoo grinned. “Totally! Like, you’re so hot and I bet you’re good in bed.”

Fuck.

He almost messed up one of the letters because his mind just flew to somewhere unforgivable. It was a sin to even think about but, shit, he definitely missed the feeling of fucking someone.

“Kuroo?”

He got out of trance and looked up after hearing the familiar voice only to see you by the door, looking at him with hurt in your eyes.

“Hey—”

You swallowed and avoided his gaze. “I just... You left your keys.”

In a swift motion, you hurriedly walked inside the room and placed his set of keys at one of the console tables before dashing out the door.

“Babe!” he called, unable to chase after you as you shut the door—an exasperated sigh followed.

This was going to be a big problem, obviously.

Just what was he thinking?

He had a half naked girl in front of him and another girl clinging to him like he didn’t have a girlfriend. It must have hurt you a lot.

There was definitely a lot of explaining to do when he comes home tonight.

“Uh-oh...” the girl mocked. “I can sense some trouble in paradise.”

He decided to leave it be for now and get his job done as soon as possible, even thinking of closing the shop earlier than usual just so he could go to you.

You were washing the dishes when Kuroo came home and the first thing he did was to wrap his arms around you.

To be real, you weren’t in the mood to see his face after what you saw this morning.

You get it—he was exposed to all sorts of people with his line of work and most of them probably couldn’t just ignore his amazing physical appearance.

Even you, which was why you were more hurt, because he was desired by many women and those very same women were all better than you in more ways than one.

They fit his type more than you did and you were sure that they could give him exactly what he wanted.

Still, it awfully tugged at your heartstrings.

He was yours, not theirs. You had the right to be jealous when a girl was getting cozy with your man, but to see him letting them have their way? That was a different story.

“Baby, talk to me,” he mumbled, planting a kiss on your neck.

You gave him the silent treatment while closing the water tap and drying your hands with a towel. With a nonchalant face, you pulled his tattooed arms off of you and headed towards the couch.

You could hear his sigh as he followed you, but you were determined to keep your eyes glued on the TV screen. If he wanted to talk, he should do the talking.

“You’re really pissed at me, huh,” he spoke as soon as he sat next to you with his hand on your thigh. “I’m sorry.”

“They’re pretty hot, aren’t they?” you asked, bitterly.

He scooted closer and placed an arm around your shoulder. “Definitely nowhere near as hot as my girlfriend.”

You rolled your eyes, remembering how the girls looked like and how comfortable he was with them. “Yeah, right.”

You couldn’t explain the tightness on your chest every time you recalled the scene earlier because you knew, you just knew, that there was more that could have happened if you didn’t arrive. You saw it in his eyes, even for a split second, that he almost gave in to temptation.

How could he not? You were a prude just as they described—just because you didn’t have any sexual experience like they did. Perhaps when they called you boring, they were right and Kuroo wanted to agree.

He couldn’t be stuck with a girlfriend that he couldn’t even have sex with, could he?

“I shouldn’t have let them put their hands on me like that,” he admitted, feeling apologetic. “Only you can.”

You took a deep breath and shook your head. “I don’t even know why you’re still with me, Tetsurou. I put so much boundaries between us. Don’t you get tired of me?”

“Fuck no,” he quickly answered, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Never. You’re the only one for me.”

Truth be told, you did feel bad that he couldn’t fully experience you as a girlfriend but he was very patient and respectful towards you. Maybe you could let this one incident go, after all, he was never really a bad boyfriend to you. Sure, he looked like a bad boy but when it came to you, he was surprisingly soft.

“Fine,” you muttered, finally meeting his eyes. “Just don’t do it again. I don’t care if they get naked in front of you, don’t entertain them too much and give the wrong impression.”

He smiled and pecked your lips. “Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You love me.”

“I do,” you said, placing a hand on his cheek. “So much.”

Delighted with your words, he leaned in again to give you a deeper kiss. He knew it was all he could do with you but he wanted to make you feel that his kisses were satisfying enough.

Just with the way he moved his lips against yours and how your tongue battled his for dominance—it was almost impossible to breathe at one point, but he softened the kiss to allow yourself to catch some air.

God, you were jealous. You were annoyed at how those girls thought they could put their hands on your man. You were angry at how they tried to steal him from you.

“You’re mine,” you claimed, pulling away to look at his eyes.

The smirk on his lips was replaced by a cheeky grin. “All yours, baby.”

You didn’t know what gave you the sudden confidence to straddle his lap after he said that, but both of you were taken aback—the heat on your cheeks was mixing with the surprised look on his face.

You were sitting directly into his crotch and he was having a hard time to control himself.

“Babe,” he breathed on your neck. “You don’t have to force yourself.”

He was right, but the thought of the other girls constantly seducing him behind your back just gave way to your deepest insecurities. You didn’t have the most perfect body in the world and you most definitely didn’t have the skills in bed that he expected—you were scared that you might lose him because of these facts.

“Hey,” he spoke, making you look at his eyes as you relaxed into his touch. “It’s fine. If you want it, I can be gentle.”

“I-I don’t know... I just,” you hesitated, not knowing exactly how to put it into words.

You didn’t know why sex intimidated you. It was just him putting his dick inside you, right? But you weren’t really scared of doing the act, you were scared that once you did it, he’d leave you because he already got what he wanted.

You could feel the hardness on his crotch that was pressing against your core and you didn’t expect that a moan would escape your lips when you moved at the slightest. The fabric of your shorts were thin enough for you to feel the outline of the hardened member on his grey sweatpants.

He held your waist and guided you to move again, this time urging you to move your hips back and forth, allowing you to feel the friction from his hard erection. It was impossible not to see the lust in his eyes and it made you feel weak.

“How does it feel?” he asked, hot breath tickling your ear.

You continued grinding on him with your lips parted to release your silent moans, “G-Good.”

He leaned forward to kiss your neck, eventually sucking the soft skin to leave his beautiful marks.

“Tetsu—” you whined, gripping his hair while he started matching your movements with his own. It was a foreign feeling for you to feel his clothed cock rubbing against your untouched sex.

The sound of his moans made you weak.

“Fuck,” he cussed in a low voice, squeezing your ass with his huge hands in growing excitement. “I’ll go get a condom.”

Your eyes widened in panic as you pushed him back into the couch. “N-No, I... I’m not ready.”

You didn’t mean to always chicken out when you two were almost about to do it. You just didn’t feel confident enough to give yourself yet and even if you badly wanted to, you just couldn’t make yourself do it.

You could see the hint of disappointment on his face and he was trying to hide it.

“Right,” he exhaled deeply with his head thrown back on the headrest. “It’s alright. Maybe next time,” he convinced himself.

“I’m sorry,” you softly mumbled, hand gripping on his shirt.

He gave you a quick peck on the lips before pulling you out of his lap and getting up from the couch. “It’s fine.”

You stayed seated as you watched him walk away. “Where are you going?”

“I have to finish this off on my own,” he answered without looking back. You realized he was referring to him touching himself because you couldn’t just do the job for him.

It was obvious how frustrated he was and for fuck’s sake you did feel guilty, but then again, he didn’t act like this before. When you told him you didn’t want to do it further, he’d simply laugh it off and say he would wait for you.

This wasn’t the same Kuroo that said that.

You became a little paranoid.

Considering that girls would still pay your boyfriend a visit at the tattoo parlor, you always ended up overthinking about what he was doing while you were supposed to be busy at work.

You just didn’t feel at ease. You felt like anyone could easily snatch him away from you because you weren’t particularly a striking girl to begin with. You were leaning on the simple side rather than the edgy, stylish wannabes that swarmed his shop in hopes of sleeping with him.

Because your thoughts were eating you alive, you decided to head to his tattoo parlor after work to make sure that he wasn’t doing any funny business.

And you were somehow right.

About three girls were in there this time, two of which you’ve already seen a couple days ago, and they were already leaving the shop just as you arrived.

“You’re really amazing, Tetsurou,” one of the girls told him in gratitude. “I might get another one soon.”

You watched them walk past you with a smug expression on their faces as they left the shop. Kuroo had then seen you standing by the door with your arms crossed.

“Really?” you questioned, walking inside with a frown. “They’re here again?”

He sighed and walked back to his station while cleaning the mess. “I can’t just ask them not to come anymore. They’re still customers.”

“Let me guess,” you taunted, “Did one of them get naked in front of you again? Did you let them touch all over you again? Did you perhaps forget that you had a girlfriend again?”

His brows furrowed in annoyance. “No. We talked about this.”

You pursed your lips, raising a brow in return. “I’m starting to think you’re doing more for them than just giving them tattoos.”

“Jesus. You’re so insecure, it’s crazy,” he retorted, rolling his eyes at you.

Did he just...

“I wonder why!” you replied, sarcastically. “If you weren’t busy flirting with those girls, maybe I won’t be so insecure.”

“I said I’m not flirting with them!” he argued, slamming his gloves on the floor.

He looked at you with frustration that you’ve never seen before and it certainly hurt. He had been acting distant since the night you didn’t give in to him and you knew that his exasperation towards you was rooting from that.

You swallowed, still with your arms crossed. “But you know you’d sleep with them if given the chance. Since I couldn’t do it with you.”

“Then just fucking do it with me instead of bitching about it every day!” he snapped. “I wanna be with someone I can have sex with, not a prude like you!”

His hurtful words left you frozen like a statue, unable to move while being dominated by the shooting pain inside your chest.

You knew this day would come—that he would eventually get tired of waiting around for something that he could easily get from others. However, what hurt you most was the fact you believed he wasn’t that type of guy. That he wasn’t with you solely for what you could give, but rather, for what you just had. You thought he sincerely understood your boundaries and respected your choices the very same way you respected his, but it seemed that he had another thought in his head all along.

After seeing the look on your face, Kuroo had softened his gaze and walked closer to you, “I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have said that.”

A tear fell from from your eye as you looked at him with anger building inside of you. “You wanna have sex? Is that what you want? Let’s fucking do it, then!”

You spitefully unbuttoned your blouse despite his efforts of stopping you.

“Baby, no,” he said in remorse, grabbing your wrists tightly. “No, I’m sorry. I’m contented with you. I really am, I’m sorry. Please.”

Your chest heaved as you cried. “It’s obviously not enough for you.” You sniffed, wiping your eyes. “You knew what kinda girl I am when you dated me.”

He pulled you for a hug and kissed your temple way too many times that you lost count. He felt absolutely sorry for ever hurting you with his words but they just hit you so painfully.

“I know what kinda girl you are and I’m in love with you for it,” he said, as if trying to get it through your head but his words were beginning to feel empty. “Please, believe me. I really didn’t mean what I said. You’re enough for me, baby. You’re all I want.”

You didn’t feel comfort from his words but you still hugged him because you loved him. Because you knew, even if he said more hurtful words, you’d still love him. Sure, you’d be angry, but your love for him ruled higher than your pride.

You were just scared of losing him over something like this.

“I love you so much,” he whispered on your ear before placing a soft, apologetic kiss on your lips.

When he pulled away, your heart still felt heavy but you managed to give the slightest smile.

“I love you, too.”

He ran his thumb across your cheek and held your waist on his other hand. You just couldn’t get his words out of your head even after he apologized, because you never knew he was seeing your relationship that way all along.

The girls were right. He was a man after all and he had needs.

The fact that he was staying with you despite not fulfilling his needs must be a work of charity for him, and eventually, he’d get sick of waiting around. He would desire you less and less the more the days passed by and it wasn’t absolutely crazy to think that he could potentially meet another girl he liked that was willing to give it all.

The mere thought of it scared you.

“I’ll do it with you tonight,” you offered, your voice breaking, hoping that you could finally break the barrier and be enough for him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

general taglist: @x-cloudyyyy @iwazubean @elianetsantana @cottonheadedninnymugggins @centvry @kageyamakock @sunnsettee @littlenymphia700 @tsukkisfatsimp @cuddlesslut @mysteriousparker @asdfghjkl7things @oikawashand @02hhsailor @anejuuuuoy @minswags-posts @chemnerdkuroo @misssugarless

[fuck-customers]

What can I say then

Ok, lemme preface this. I am a supervisor at a credit card call center. Basically I take calls from regular reps whose callers ask for a supervisor, nothing too hard. Alright so, this rep transfers to me; I answer Me: “Hi, my name is _____, I am a supervisor here at [insert na-]” Cardholder: “WHY ARE YOU TALKING SO FAST, I DONT APPRECIATE YOU TRYING TO GET ME OFF THE PHONE.” Literally, I was speaking normal, sup calls don’t hurt my calls per hour I can take 2 hrs talking to this bitch and I’ll be fine. She didn’t even let me finish saying my shit. Ch: “what’s your name you didn’t say it” Me: ___ Ch: “what” Me: ___, (and it’s 3 letters so I spelled it out) Ch: I don’t like you spelling it out I’m not stupid. Me: ~ok~ “how May i assist you ma’am” Ch: I DONT LIKE YOU CALLING ME MAAM. THATS NOT MY NAME. MY PARENTS DIDNT NAME ME MAAM.” Honestly, it’s habit. I don’t call them by their first/last name bc people don’t like that. Sir/ma’am are my words, so I apologize right. Me: “I’m sorry, so how may I help?” Ch: “well my payment is 30.77$, I need to know why it’s an even number, I need odd numbers because that’s what goes well with my check, and my due date isn’t working for me.” Me: “ok so-“ (I’m about to rephrase what she says bc I’ve learn people like that bc it shows I listened right, but I just say it so I remember everything and do it in a way it’ll fit the acct. ch: “I DONT LIKE IT WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME “ok so”, IT JUST SHOWS ME THAT THEY DONT CARE WHAT IM CALLING ABOUT. I JUST SPENT 4 MINUTES WAITING FOR YOU TO ANSWER AND YOURE GONNA COME TO ME AND SAY “ok so”.” Me: “It’s not that I don’t care, I just have to make sure I caught everything you said. First, your pymt is 30$ or 7% of your balance, whichever is greater. It’s 30.77$ because you’re over by 77 cents, if the even numbers aren’t working you can always round it to an odd number of your choosing, and in regards to your due da-“. Ch: “I DONT NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. YOURE NOT MY MOM. PLUS NO ONE TOLD ME ITD BE 30$ a month.” Keep in mind she’s had this acct since 2015. Me: “Well, when you applied the teems&conditions stated your pymts would be 30$/7% of your Bal, whichever is greater. Now, we can’t tel-“ Ch: “I HATE HEARING THAT YOU CANT DO SOMETHING. I AM A CUSTOMER, I DIDNT CALL TO HEAR A ‘NO’, I AM A CUSTOMER AND IM CALING FOR HELP.” Me: “alright and I get that, I am trying to help but you keep saying you don’t like what I am telling you. I have to tell you what we can/can’t do, I can’t just ignore what you said and tell you something else. Now, you can pay 31$ that’s not issue. You’re just paying a bit more than the minimum that’s fine. In regards to your due date, (it’s currently on the 5th of each month) what date would you like?” Ch: “the 1st or 15th.” Here’s where I got frustrated, she’s due on the 5th, and she usually pays on the 3rd or 4th, so early. She’s requesting her due date 4 days earlier for whatever reason. I’m not in her life so whatever, she sounded hesitant when she said first, so I check the 15th. Me: (keep in mind I can’t say “can’t” bc shell cut me off and we’ll get nowhere) “unfortunately we are unable to select the 15th as a due date, but the 14th or 16th work, do either of those work for you?” Ch: “16th is fine.” Me: “ok, before I select that I have to remind you, you can only change your due date once every twelve months, do you still wish to select the 16th of each month?” Ch: “what day is the 16th next month (12-16-17)?” Me: “saturday.” Ch: “I CANT HAVE A SATURDAY I NEED THURSAYS I GET PAID THURSDAYS.” Me: “we ca-, I mean we don’t choose certain daYS, for due daTES, we need a numberic daTE(#) that works for you. Not daYS (sun-mon).” Ch: “I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOURE MAKING THIS SO HARD FOR ME.” Me: “I’m not trying to, I’m trying to help, so what daTE works for you?” Ch: “The 1st.” Me: “ok so again, before I select that I have to remind you, you can only change your due date once every twelve months, do you still wish to select the 1st of each month?” Ch: “NEXT MONTH ITS A FRIDAY AND THEN IN JANUARY ITS A MONDAY, NO THAT DOESNT WORK. I NEED THURSDAYS.” Me: “I’m sorry but we ca-, don’t choose daYS, we have daTE-“ Ch: “I DONT LIKE HEARING WHAT YOU DONT DO I HATE WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME WHAG THEY DONT DO.” Me: “I have to tell you what is available and what is not, I cannot please everything you’re wanting. I cannot lie to you and say we can do things we can’t, I’m very sorry you hate all I’m saying but I have to do my job of letting you know your options.” Ch: “I DONT KNOW WHY YOURE MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME. YOU JUST DONT WANT TO HELP.” Me: “I am TRYIN-“ Ch: “WHY DO YOU TALK WHEN IM ABOUT TO TALK. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TALK WHEN IM THINKING OF WHAT TO SAY.” Me: “so what daTE, are you looking for?” Ch: “I DONT KNOW. WHAT WORKS FOR ME DOESNT WORK FOR YOU. YOURE SO HARD TO TALK TO.” Me: (I’m starting to get mad) “you gave me the 1st and 15th, I told you the 1st works and either 14th or 16th work. You keep saying you need a Thursday but we do not choose daYS. We choose daTES. You said the 16th and then said no and chose the 1st, I was about to confirm the 1st and you said no bc they fall on different daYS of the week each month. We don’t choose the daYS they fall on. Jus-“ Ch: “I KNOW YOU DONT OK. IM NOT A CHILD. I HATE WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE A CHILD. I HAYE THAT YOU REPEAT YOUR SELF I JUST, AM SO FRUSTRATED BEVAUSE YOURE JUST MAKING ME MAD.” Me: “Thats not my intention, what daTE works for you? That’s all I need.” Ch: “I DONT KNOW OK I DONT KNOW” Basically my call was 26 mins long, of her telling me she hates everything that I said and ended up requesting another supervisor and just hung up on him bc he was a male. Tl;dr: lady hates not getting her way.

[berjhawn]

Bucky Barnes X Reader - I Don’t Need You

Warnings: Angst, lies, fighting, misunderstandings, heartbreak, ETC

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Reader

(A/N) This is a one-shot i had playing around in my head. It’s angsty since that’s the mood i was in when i wrote it. I hope you all enjoy it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One sentence… just one little sentence was enough to bring my whole happy world crashing down. I had been working at Stark Tower as a liaison between Pepper and the UN, when I was reassigned to ‘Bucky’ duty by Captain America himself. When Bucky first arrived, he was a little unstable and prone to panic attacks, all of which I was able to bring him down from using different methods. As my mission, so to speak, progressed; as did my relationship with Bucky.

At first the two of us were always together. I don’t know whether that was Steve’s plan from the beginning, putting two emotionally unstable individuals together or not, all I know is that it worked. I fell and I fell hard for Bucky. He was broken and damaged just as I was. I hadn’t grown up in the best of circumstances, hell I spent my childhood begging for food in the center of town, but after a kind old man took me in and put me through school and College; I made it my mission to help others.

Hence, I joined the UN, or the United Nations. I graduated top of my class and became a government liaison. That was many years ago, now. I’ve been a liaison for many different superheroes, starting with Reed Richards and then of course ending with Tony Stark. My job was simple, be the go between for both and keep the chaos to a minimum. Also, I was there to report on any and all tests and secrets.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. Like I said Bucky and I were constantly together, we spent every waking moment near each other. It was inevitable for me to fall for him. It happened about three weeks ago, Steve thought it would be a good idea for Bucky and I to take a day and go to Coney Island. Perhaps it might rekindle some of Bucky’s memories that hadn’t come back yet. So, we went and at first it was magical.

 We were having a great time. That was until I said something I shouldn’t have. I was so stupid, I got caught up in the moment and in the spur of it I told him I loved him. His eyes, he looked at me like I had betrayed him. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. It was just like when I was a kid and my mother abandoned me. He didn’t say anything. Like he was avoiding my confession so I decided to take him back to Steve.

The rest of the way back to Avengers tower we rode in silence. My heart was breaking and I just wanted to get him back safely and then I would decide what I was going to do from there. When we arrived, after I climbed out of the cab he grabbed my hand and said, ‘I don’t need you anymore, today proves I can do just fine by myself.’ I froze in my footsteps as he releases my hand and walks into the tower. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was crushed. Tears stung my eyes but I wasn’t about to cry.

 Flashbacks to my childhood filled my mind. Abusive words slung at me from every direction covered me making me lose all the confidence I had gained over the past few years. I was broken. I don’t remember how I got home or even how I didn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere. All I remember was waking up the next morning and returning to my original job as Miss Potts assistant. I didn’t try to avoid him, I didn’t make things awkward, I was just being professional. Everything was fine. Even though the very sight of him made my heart hurt I had to be professional.

 Then it happened. I saw him with another girl. He was smiling a smile I had never seen before. It crushed me. That was when I decided to leave. I put in my resignation letter with Miss Potts, packed my bags, sold my apartment, and headed back to Paris. I traded in my field work for a desk job. I didn’t want to get attached to anyone ever again.

 “And that’s why I’m here.” I say as I look across the room to the Shrink my supervisors requested I go to. The middle-aged woman had her hair pulled tightly back in a bun, and she wore a gray pinstriped pants suit. This was the last place I wanted to be.

 “(Name), I’ve read the reports you wrote about your time at the Avengers tower; It seems like you had many friends you could have turned too, so why did you leave without notifying anyone other than Miss Potts?” She asks as she pulls her glasses from her face.

 “Miss Potts was my boss; it’s only fitting I tell her I was leaving.”

 “And this Bucky individual you mentioned, you didn’t feel the need to tell him you were leaving?” She asks and my heart clenches.

 “No ma’am, I figured it was best that I break off contact without delay. That is also why I decided to stay here in Paris. I’m finished with field work.”

 “You do realize it’s your superiors who want me to clear you for the field do you not?”

 “I do ma’am, but I wish to remain at my desk.”

 “I understand your reasons, I will go through my notes and let them know what I think.”

 “Thank you,” I say forcing my business smile.

 “That is all the time we have for today, I will see you again next week at the same time.”

 “Yes ma’am.” I say as I stand and grabbing my coat and purse head for the door. I was not happy. Leaving the therapists office, I step out into the cold winter air and let out a heavy sigh. I hated shrinks, I never believed they worked and I hated the fact that I was to tell a complete stranger about my tortured past. As the cold wind blows I take a deep breath and wince as the cold air fills my lungs. It burned but that was just proof that I was alive.

 Turning I decide to take the long way home and walk past Notre Dame. It was my favorite place in the whole world. When I was begging for food I used to go there. The Archbishop and Deacons used to slip me whatever food they could and then on extremely cold nights they would allow me to sleep inside the cathedral. It was the first act of kindness anyone had ever shown me. I smile at the people as I pass by them.

 As the church comes into view I remember Philippe, the old man who took me in off the streets. He was a baker, every morning he would wake up early to start preparing the dough. I loved smelling the smell of bread baking. Bread baking was my favorite smell in the whole world. Although he passed away right after I graduated college he left his bakery in the hands of his workers.

 Rounding the corner, I spot a familiar face and I smile as I rush over to the flower woman. “Bonjour Marie,” I call out to the redhead as I reach into my purse to pull out some money for her beautiful yellow Roses.

 “Ah Bonjour (Name), Je ne vous ai pas vu depuis des années. Comment allez-vous?” (I haven’t seen you in years. How are you?) She replies a bright smile covering her withered face.

 “J'ai eu un peu de malchance en amour mais à part ça je l'ai bien été.” (I've had a bit of bad luck in love but other than that I’ve been well.) I reply holding the blooming petals up to my nose.

 “Eh bien, je ne vais pas édulcorer et dire que vous allez rencontrer quelqu'un savait. Est-ce que vous aimez cet homme?” (Well I’m not going to sugar coat it and say that you'll meet someone knew. Did you love this man?) She asks and I feel tears sting my eyes as I think of him.

 “Oui je l'ai fait.” (Yes, I did.)

 “L'amour fait mal. Voilà comment vous savez qu'il était réel.” (Love hurts. That's how you know it was real.) She replies and I nod.

 “Eh bien, je serai hors tension. Merci Marie pour la belle rose.” (Well I'll be off. Thank you, Marie, for the lovely rose.) I say as I start to walk toward the bridge. She waves me off with a smile and I grip tightly to my little bouquet as I slowly walk across the Pont au Double bridge. I take one last glance toward the church and smile softly before I turn back and continue my walk home.

 Walking into my apartment, I am greeted by the familiar face of a one Steve Rogers and I freeze in my footsteps. “Mr. Rogers? Um, what are you doing in my apartment?” I ask a knot welling up inside my throat.

 “Pepper told me you resigned. I have to admit I was a little surprised that you didn’t say goodbye.” He says a sad smile covering his lips.

 “I apologize; I admit I wasn’t thinking rationally when I left.” I reply as I close my door and setting my purse and roses down start to pull my coat off.

 “Don’t apologize. I’m sure you had every reason to do what you did.” He says and I nod as I hang my coat on the hook and grab the roses.

 “Um, would you like something to drink?” I ask as I walk past him to the kitchen to find a vase.

 “Ah yes, a water would be nice.” He replies as he follows after me.

 “Water it is.” I say as I set my roses down on the counter and grab a glass. Reaching into the fridge I grab a bottle of water and twisting the cap off pour it into the cup. Handing it too him I turn back and reach for a pair of scissors to cut the stems of my rose. “So how is everything?” I ask making small talk as I gently arrange the roses in an antique blue glass vase.

 “Well the towers still standing if that’s what you mean.” He jokes and I chuckle.

 “I guess that’s a good thing then.” I reply setting the vase on my kitchen table. “How long are you going to be in Paris?”

 “A few days,” He replies and I nod.

 “Are you alone, or did the rest of the team come?” I ask dreading his answer. I was not ready to see Bucky. I wanted to be alone.

 “Tony, Natasha, Pepper, Sam and I came.” He says and I let out a sigh of relief that wasn’t visible on my face.

 “You’ll have to tell them I said hi,” I comment smiling softly at him.

 “I will, we’ll have to have dinner together.” He offers and I tense.

 “I’ll have to check my schedule, but that would be nice.” I reply as I move from the kitchen to the front room. “Would you like to sit down?” I ask as I motion to the couch.

 “Ah yeah sure,” He replies sitting down across from me.

 “Is it just me or does it seem really awkward?” I ask smiling.

 “So, it’s not just me.” He replies and I smile.

 “There’s no need to be on your toes around me, please just be yourself.”

 “Thank you. Sorry it’s just,” He pauses as he rubs his fingers along the smooth glass, “Been a hectic few weeks.”

 “Again, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about me leaving. I just needed,” I pause as I clasp my hands together. “I missed my home. I grew up in Paris you know?”

 “I remember you saying something about it before. I got your address from the UN. I hope you don’t mind.”

 “Although I am a little surprised to find you inside my apartment,” I giggle making him laugh before I continue, “It’s a nice surprise though, so thank you.” 

 “No problem. If I’m being honest, I missed you.” He says and I feel my heart lighten a bit.

 “I missed you too Steve.” I reply honestly as I smile at him.

 We spent the next few hours talking and reminiscing about old times which was nice. I hadn’t lied, I had missed Steve. Truth be told I had missed them all, but I just wasn’t ready to see them. Steve was enough. As the hours passed I glanced up to the clock to see that it was almost nine and my eyes widen. “Oh my, I didn’t realize it was this late. Um do you know your way back? Should I call you a cab, or if you’d like I have a guest room?”

 “Oh um, I think I can find my way back. It’s not that I don’t want to take you up on your offer but I just think, you know,”

 “Right, It’s completely understandable.”

 “Um how about lunch tomorrow?” He asks as he stands up and walks toward the door.

 “Uh yeah, sure, why not? Um, my lunch breaks at one. There’s a little Bistro I like to frequent for lunch called La rose floraison. They have the most amazing food there.”

 “Then I’ll see you tomorrow at one.” He says grabbing his coat and pulling it on.

 “I’m looking forward to it. Goodnight Steve,” I say giving him a soft smile.

 “Goodnight (Name),” He says returning my smile before he heads off down the hall. As soon as he heads down the stairs I close the door and let out the heavy sigh I had been holding all night long. I lean my back against the door as I slowly slide down the door onto the floor.  What was I to do now? If Steve knew I was here, then it wouldn’t be long until the rest of the team knew. Not that Bucky would come even if he knew.

 The recollection of his name sent a shiver down my spine. My heart tightens in my chest and I take a deep breath to keep from crying. I look over at the clock and watch as the time slowly ticks by. There was no way I was going to get any sleep tonight. Not with my mind full of the past. Clearing my throat, I push myself up off the floor and grabbing my cell phone head to my room. Sitting down on the bed I reach over and opening my nightstand drawer I take out my sleeping pills.

 I set my alarm and plug in my cell phone before I twist the cap of my pills and pulling two out slip them in my mouth. I swallow them down dryly before I lay down on top of the blankets. It was definitely cold outside and it was slightly drafty in my little apartment but I didn’t care. I wanted the cold. I needed to feel numb. As I close my eyes I slowly slip into an all too familiar nightmare.

 Bucky’s POV

~Going back~

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Bucky yells out in confusion before running past his friend and up to her room. She couldn’t be gone. Why would she leave? His mind drifts back to the day they had gone to Coney Island and her sudden confession and his heart clenches. It was true that he had rejected her but it was for her own good. He couldn’t love her the way she deserved to be loved. Granted he had rejected her rather roughly but she had been acting just fine since then.

Throwing her bedroom door opened he found all her belongings gone. No trace of her was left. “(Name)!” He yells out as he runs throughout her entire floor in search of her. He feels his heart start to clench and its pace quickens. “No, no, no. (Name)!” He yells again his adrenaline kicking in. Unable to control his body he grabs the closest thing to him and throws it against the wall. He reaches for the next thing-                                        

“Bucky calm down!” Steve yells as he reaches out and tries to restrain Bucky who is thrashing around wildly.

“Where is she Steve? Where did she go?” Bucky cries out pain lacing his voice. 

“I don’t know Buck; all I know is she turned in her resignation and left. Even Pepper doesn’t know where she is.”

“It’s all my fault?” Bucky says his body stilling.

“What? Why? How is it your fault?” Steve asks confusion filling his voice.

“It just is okay,” Bucky snaps causing Steve to narrow his eyes at his friend.

“What exactly happened between the two of you Buck? I noticed she was acting strange but I didn’t think it had anything to do with you.”

“That day, the day you sent us to Coney Island; everything was perfect. She was beautiful with the sunlight in her hair and a happy smile on her lips. Then when we were about to get on the cyclone she told me,” He pauses as he narrows his eyebrows. “She told me she was in love with me.”

“Really? Buck that’s great.”

“I rejected her.” Bucky interjects making Steve stare wide eyed at his friend.

“What exactly did you say to her Bucky?” Steve inquires in a serious tone.

“I panicked. At first, I didn’t say anything. Right after that we climbed into a cab and came back here. Then when we got out of the cab I stopped her and,” He pauses as tears start to fill his eyes.

“And?” Steve presses his friend for more information.

“I told her that I didn’t need her anymore. That that day was a test that I passed and I could live normally without her.”

“Jesus Bucky, what were you thinking?” Steve chastises his friend as he runs a hand down his face.

“I wanted her to find someone else. Someone better than me. I’m broken and I’ve done a lot of bad in my life. I didn’t want to hurt her but I didn’t want to see her get hurt because of me either. My brain picked the easier of the two. I didn’t think she’d actually leave though. She acted normally after that day, I just figured she decided to stay friends.”

“Buck, you may have wanted to keep her from getting hurt; but in reality, you hurt her more than anyone else ever could.” Steve shakes his head. He knows this isn’t going to help his friend but Bucky needed to know the truth.

“But why did she wait so long to leave then? Why didn’t she leave the next day?” Bucky asks his eyes full of curiosity and pain.

“Did something happen recently?”

“No,” Bucky shakes his head. “We have barely talked since that day.”

“I’m sorry Buck, but I think it’s safe to say that she’s not coming back.” Steve says blatantly and Bucky nods.

“It’s all my fault.”

“Come on Buck, let’s get you something to drink and maybe go for a run to clear your mind.”

“Please just leave me Steve. I wanna be alone.” Bucky replies his eyes growing cold.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks as he places a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Bucky says his voice cracking. “Just leave me alone.”

~Today~

Bucky stares at the building that held her apartment with mixed emotions. He wanted to rush up the stairs to her. Tell her he had been wrong and all he ever wanted was for her to come back but he couldn’t find the nerve. Gulping down a breath of air he stares up at the window Steve said was hers, his entire body crying out for him to run to her but he held himself back. The light was still on and at times he could see her silhouette against the curtains.

He wanted to see more. He wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her he was sorry. Steve had been up there for a while talking with her and he had said that she seemed a little awkward and nervous. Steve hadn’t mentioned that he was in town and that gave him the element of surprise. Steve had made a date with her to have lunch tomorrow and as a surprise he would be there instead of Steve.

There was no doubt she would be upset and a little betrayed but he needed to talk to her. He needed to see her, to tell her that the words he had told her had haunted his every waking moment. She would probably reject him but it was a chance he was willing to take. As the lights of her apartment turn off he takes a deep breath and turning heads back to his hotel room where he would sleep tonight for the upcoming battle tomorrow.

Reader’s POV

I stare at the blank screen before me. My mind wasn’t able to focus on anything work related at all. “(Name), I needed those files regarding the Wakandan royal family on my desk five minutes ago!” My boss Michael Ross yells out bringing me from my stupor.

“Oh!” I exclaim as I look down at the open file showing a picture of the young prince of Wakanda. “I’m sorry Mr. Ross, I have it right here.” I say as I quickly close the file and hand it over to him.

“What’s with you today? You were doing so well.” He asks his deep brown eyes filled with worry.

“Just didn’t get enough sleep last night. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” I say straightening my back and putting my best businesslike face on.

“Okay, if you need an ear to listen to your troubles, my door’s always open.” He says with a quick wave before he started off back to his office. When his door closes, I let out a sigh of relief before I lean back against my chair my head falling back so I could stare at the ceiling. Damn Steve for showing up and causing my mind to be so muddled. Speaking of Steve. I look at the clock to see that it was almost time for me to go on my lunch break and contemplate sending him a message. I grab my phone only to realize that I had deleted his cell number when I came back to Paris.

“Just my luck.” I groan out as I toss my phone onto my desk and pinch the bridge of my nose. No turning back now. Pulling my cac-card from the reader I place it inside my wallet and standing up I grab my phone and shoving it back into my purse grab my coat. Rolling my shoulders, I slide my chair up to my desk and turning head for the elevator. I give Michael a quick wave signaling that I was leaving for lunch and he nodded.

He gives me a head nod in return as he is on his phone before I climb into the elevator and hit the lobby button. I watch the numbers slowly count down as I try to think about what I was walking into. I thought about somehow running away and hiding but now that they knew I was here that wouldn’t work. Letting out a heavy sigh I hail a cab. When one stops I quickly climb inside and telling him the address fold my hands over my lap and let out a heavy sigh.

It took no time at all to make it to the little café. I hand the cabbie the money I owed before I climb out of the cab and taking a deep breath I head inside. I smile softly as I am greeted by the familiar host who quickly leads me to a table where I could wait for Steve. I order a water as I pull my cell phone out of my purse and start to fiddle with it. A few seconds later I see someone walk up to me out of the corner of my eyes and thinking it to be Steve I fake a smile and look up only to stare wide eyed at the last person I ever wanted to see again. “Bucky…”

“Hey (Name), mind if I sit?” He asks his icy eyes pleading with me. My heart starts to race and my palms grow sweaty as he sits down across from me.

“I thought I was meeting Steve.” I say in disbelief as I stare across the table at him.

“Sorry about that, Steve asked you here for me.” Bucky replies as he leans his elbows on the table.

“Why?” I ask as my throat tries to close up.

“Because I wanted to see you.”

“Why?”

“Because I miss you.”

“Why?” I ask again not getting where he was going with this. Why did he miss me? He was the one who told me to go.

“Because…” He pauses his eyes finding mine as they fill with a silent plea.

“Sargent, I have a very busy schedule. I’m sorry but I need to get back. Tell Steve not to contact me again.” I say as I grab my purse and tossing down some money stand up and leave.

“(Name) wait.” Bucky calls out as he follows after me. I ignore him as I continue on down the street headed anywhere but there. “(Name)! Stop!” Bucky yells out angrily making me stop in my tracks and turn back to him. He gulps down a breath of air as he closes the distance between the two of us and before I have a chance to think crashes his lips against mine. At first I fight against him trying my hardest to push him away so I could keep my sanity but just like before I found I couldn’t.

I grip tighter to his coat as his hands cup both sides of my face holding my lips to his. Tears fill my eyes as I with one last surge of sanity push him away. As he stumbles away from me I feel my hand move on its own as it collides with the side of his face. “Why?”

“Why what?” HE asks making me try to choke back sobs.

“Why now? Why did you kiss me? What do you want from me Barnes?” I question as I try not to burst out in tears. “You told me to leave so I did. What more do you want? How much more will you hurt me?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He says a pained expression filling his face. “I told you I didn’t need you cause I didn’t want to place you in danger. No matter what I do I will always have bad people after me and I didn’t want to put you through that. I couldn’t see you hurt.”

“Well you failed there, you hurt me more than anyone else ever could.”

“Then why did you stay after I told you to leave? Why did you take so long to leave?”

“Because I saw you.”

“You saw me what?”

“I saw you with another girl,” I answer and he cocks his head in confusion. “You wore a smile I never saw before. You looked happy with her and it broke my heart. I left because I knew you would never look at me like that. I couldn’t stay and watch the man I loved love someone else. I left to get over you. Why won’t you let me do that?”

“Because I love you (Name).” He replies taking me aback.

“You… you love me?” I ask as I start to take a few steps backwards away from him. “It’s not true, you don’t do that to someone you love.”

“It’s true (Name),” He answers as he clenches his jaw. “When I found out you were gone, I lost it. I went crazy. I wanted you to find someone else who was better that I am; but I never expected you to disappear. I never wanted that.”

“Then what did you expect me to do? Flaunt whoever I met in front of you? I couldn’t do that, no matter how upset I was.”

“The more I thought about it while I sat in your old apartment sulking,” He starts as he closes the distance between the two of us. “The more I realized how much I hate the thought of you being with someone else. It would kill me to have to stand by and watch you be happy with someone else no matter how much better they would be for you. I couldn’t do it. I realized then how much I love you (Name). I really and truly love you.”

“What am I supposed to say?” I ask tears silently falling from my eyes.

“Whatever you want. You can tell me to go to hell, to never see you again; hell, you can tell me to eat shit and die and I will.” He adds making me chuckle slightly at his words. “But if there is even the slightest bit of a chance that you can forgive me, and give me a second chance, the please tell me now.” I contemplate all the emotions and feelings running through my body as I stare up into his handsome face. I wanted nothing more than to tell him I loved him and that I wanted to be with him but what if it wasn’t enough. What if all this was, was just smoke and mirrors? It would probably kill me.

I take a deep breath fully intending to tell him no when I hear myself say, “I love you James Barnes.” He smiles and goes to hold me but I hold my had up stopping him in his tracks, “But I’m scared that this is all just…”

“It’s not what you think (Name) I really and truly love you. I will gladly spend the rest of my life proving it to you. If you’ll let me.” He says as his hands reach up to rest on my shoulders. I stare at him for a moment my eyes searching his for any hint that he might be untrue but there is none. Giving him a hopeful smile I wrap my arms around his waist and hold tight to him. “You better not be lying Barnes.” He kisses the top of my head as he gently smoothes my hair back.

“I promise (Name), I’ll always be here for you; and I’ll say it as much as I can. I love you.”

“I love you too James Buchanan Barnes.” 

LATER

“I swear you are never allowed to leave the tower again.” Tony says as he sets a glass of whiskey down in front of you.

“Oh really? Why?” I ask a smile covering my lips as I hold tight to Bucky’s hand.

“Because Frosty here is annoying when he’s sulking. I almost tossed him back into Cryo to lighten the mood around here.”

“HEY!” Bucky argues making me laugh at the two of them as I look around at all our friends. Bucky grips tighter to my hand and I smile lovingly at him as I think to myself that I couldn’t be happier.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

6:51pm, WHY ARE BITCHE-- nevermind, man.

Anyway, I'm irritated again. Not sure why. A plethora of reasons, i guess.

The headassery of the divorcee chick getting on my nerves, just to not even go through with collecting evidence from the divorce? Good job collecting alimoney, if you somehow land a decent amount without any of the necessary evidence that your husband disliked you enough to need hella escorts to see behind your back. She didn't deserve a cheating whore of a husband, but she made herself look really dumb today. It's like THATS YOUR LIFE, MAAM? Your rent, source of income if your job fires you, and so much more also????? I wouldn't toss out the chance for revenge money, if it meant the offchance that a girl saw me Taylor Swifting on Instagram; jesus.

7:34pm, my grandmother had something rancid in the microwave. As expected, whatever it was exploded and she never cleaned it up. It smells like a rotten egg. Fucks sake.

My grandmother making the house smell disgusting.

I have a headache, probably due to my morning being wack, and not eating much but microwaved junk food repeatedly.

I lack the feeling to create.... im tired.

Nothing interests me.

I still need to sleep. I will go to sleep soon, i freaking need it.

The idea of purchasing items. On one hand, Eli gave me 400 dollars in one weekend. Half of it just because I asked nicely, and the other for helping him dress and get inside of his chair today. Despite that, I feel the need to save. What if I decide to skip town? Change my name and make a new life?

Spend money on art supplies that I will either lose, or lose interest in using and hide somewhere in my room? Save money for a future that I may not have? God, why.

Living is exhausting.

And mildly annoyed at my mom, since when she learned what marxism was, she did her usual "that sounds cool, but, sounds like white family shit".... and then said "since theyre the ones who can afford to have time to think about that". True, Patrick is nearly middle class. (And hot as fuck.) His family does well for themselves, and he doesn't do much outside of the job he's content with, and not having to pay rent. Eh. So there is privilege, but

Plus when describing to her about the lack of need to work or produce solely based on commodity and moreso out of interest, she had went "yeah but then not everyone would want to work".... duh bitch.... since if no one needs to work, then, they can not do work! Easy. But even people who dont work get bored. It's simple. If you frame jobs in a "we can get the same done job for either more money and more freedom for individuals, or less effort and more freedom for individuals", or even subtract money entirely... then you dont need to work. Food, medicine, schools, education, and housing still would exist. Trades and crafts would still exist. Just no need to refuse it all for the sake of a green piece of paper or a blank check we falsely give value.

Also, its annoying that no one has organized a rent strike yet. Or something. Since I'm annoyed at how many people I know who are losing jobs and homes. Eli, for example, if he gets fired, he has 60 days to find a new job or he gets sent all the way back to Canada. That's fucked up man. Plus, Canada did close its borders.... So either way, he'd be fucked. (Then again, SF claimed to shut down businesses, and oh look, plenty are open.)

Generally, time feels like a thick and endless jelly. Not many to speak to, nor many I want to. My spam is dead, and I'm kinda losing it? And yet, somehow still saner than I was maybe a week ago? We passed the homicidal thought stage and entered the "what is the meaning of life" stage.... let's hope I don't shave my head and dye it platinum blonde.

7:56pm. I'm gonna have a stroke if I don't let myself sleep. Bye.