#i dont think sam was completely joking about the drugs

[saintlioncourt]

The thing is I DON'T think rockstar Lestat looks hot. I think he looks like hot garbage but I fucking love that. He looks like he's been going through Some ShitTM and is trying to Lestat his way out of it. I need to see how this plays out. I need to know if he's draining junkies backstage. I need to know if he got a perm. I need to know if he knows where Louis is. I need a full album and wardrobe rundown. I need to know if he's seeing the ghost of Claudia.

[modern-vellichor]

Grief, is a Beautiful Thing

Stage One; Denial

Warnings: Grief!! Mentions of death, suicide. Loss of a major character. Battles with depression, silent tears, heart and gut wrenching sadness, indirect and very minor smut just to keep you on your toes.

Prologue || Series Masterlist

Denial; refusal to acknowledge an unacceptable truth or emotion or to admit it into consciousness, used as a defense mechanism.

You acted fine, you smiled and went along like nothing happened, like Steve would just walk around the corner and kiss your forehead, just like old times.

You took his place at the head of the table for a while, hell, you took over the whole compound. You were planning missions, doing research, organising accommodation and transport, planning classic Stark celebration parties.

Bucky saw through your act, of course he did. Sam did too, they were your best friends after all.

Your room was directly on top of Bucky's, down the hall from Sam's. When they walked by your door late at night, sometimes they would hear sniffling, little secret whimpers and whines. They never said anything.

You threw yourself into not only your work, but replacing your family. You treated Peter like a younger brother, and Morgan like she was your own. Bucky and Sam would watch as you played with Morgan, helping her with homework, checking on Pepper.

Eventually, the whimpers morphed into hushed whispers.

You spoke to the moon.

Bucky could remember Steve telling him that one morning. Every night you turned to the moon and whispered a little 'goodnight', and if you were angry, or sad, you would beg her to take your problems away.

"He's gonna come back, I know he is", Bucky had his ear pressed against your door. "He's a good man, he wouldn't just leave us like that, not me, especially not Bucky"

He smiled, it was sad and small and it didn't reach his eyes.

Nightly you would talk to her, the lady in the sky, glowing bright and bringing you peace. There she was, all the time, never leaving you. You started to go numb, your body shutting down, your brain struggling to cope. You fell. And Bucky was there to catch you.

Barnes was away on a mission, on that you had organised, you completely forgot. You were lost in a state of doubt and self pity you didn't even hear your door click open. You didn't register the light spilling into your room from the hallway, or the thud of thick combat boots being chucked onto the floor. You didn't flinch when the mattress dipped next to you, only did your eyelids flutter when a cool, metal arm was thrown over your waist.

"Hey, Buck", you sighed, eyes closed.

"What's wrong?"

What's Wrong. He asked that at least once a day. Once a day he asked a question who's answer was so blatantly obvious, but you never told the truth.

Never once did you utter, 'the love of my life left me for another woman, or, 'l lost my mentor and father figure because I wasn't smart enough, not even, 'my best friend sacrificed herself to save me and half the fucking planet'.

No, you always just smiled, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, his back, his arm -never his hand- and whispering, "Nothing, Buck, I'm fine"

He never argued either, just smiling back, pain and sad, but a smile nonetheless. He never pressed further, he never asked if you needed help, he was just there. He was a failsafe, he was always there, just in case you needed him. Right now, you did, but you were in Denial.

So he pulled you closer to himself, wrapping the duvet around the both of you. His breath fanned over the bare skin of your shoulder, his fingers traced absentminded circles on the soft flesh of your hip, his eyes fluttered closed and his heart rate slowed. You waited for a while, feeling him. Feeling his steady breath and his loose grip and his slow heartbeat, just like you used to with Steve.

He was so much like Steve, in so many ways, but at the same time he was do wildly different. You thought it was beautiful, poetic. How America's Golden Boy, the model citizen, the good guy, protagonist, could be best friends with James Barnes, an army vet who couldn't give two shits even if he tried. You thought it was funny, you idolised their friendship.

"I'm sorry he left you", you whispered, voice cracking as you let the veil slip.

Tears rolled steadily down the side of your face, over the bridge of your nose, pooling on your pillow. You wrapped your fingers around his wrist, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Bucky didn't hear you, didn't feel you, he was fast asleep, somewhere far away, with Steve, happy, you hope.

"I could have stopped him. I know "I could have stopped him. I know I could have, its okay, 'll get him back", you promised your sleeping friend.

With the denial and the numbness, and the constant work, came the forgetfulness.

You were in shock, it was normal. It was always small, forgetting your keys, or to eat breakfast, but it still made Bucky worry. You were coming apart at the seams, spilling guts and your shattered heart onto the floor by his feet, and he had to pick you up, and sew you back together. You just wouldn't let him.

Often, too often, he would catch you doing something you and Steve used to do together.

You would be reading a book, mind far away, and your spare hand would reach out for him. The look on your face was pain and regret and anger all in one, tears pricking your eyes as you recoiled your now balled up fist.

On the jet, you would reach out for reassurance, before and after a mission, and he would be gone.

You reached out for him, his wife frame squashed into the seat next to yours. You lifted your chin to admire him, in all his blood and mud caked glory, you smiled, eyes bright and glistening, cheeks blushing as he kissed the tip of your nose.

One of your hands reached down and interlaced fingers with his, your other wrapped itself around his arm. You leaned down, bead going slack against his shoulder. He let out a breathy laugh, a lovely laugh that ignited a fire in your belly. He ran a hand over your hair, brushing dried dirt and coppery blood from your cheek.

"You did so well, baby", he whispered. "You're incredible, you know that", his words were mumbled into your hair between kisses. You giggled, you learned from the best, and you made sure he knew it.

Your hand was tucked into your chest, the image of Steve in the seat next to yours all too fresh in your mind. The jet landed with a soft thud, and you ran through the compound to your room, not even bothering to grab your bag on the way in.

Bucky spent hours trying to coax you out of your room, listening to the soft sniffles and quiet sobs.

"Y/N, doll", he begged, pleaded, "please, let me in"

He was delighted to hear the soft bad of bare feet and the clicking of your lock. He shoved his way into your room, assertive and gentle, wrapping you in a hug and kicking the door shut behind him.

It was moments like these that brought tears to your eyes. It was the domesticity of it all, the soft touched, the way he drew circles on your lower back, ran a hand through your hair. It was the way he held you until you slept, whispering sweet reassurance into your hair, soft kisses to your forehead as you wept.

The next morning you called him into your office, Sam making a joke as he walked away.

"I have a mission for you, Barnes"

"Yes, ma'am", he responded, jokingly.

"Surveillance in Budapest, drug lord, Lloyd Montgomery", you stated. You never were good at briefings, not like Steve. "two weeks stay, you're leaving tomorrow morning."

He chuckled at your expression, brows furrowed, lips pulled into a frown. "Who am I bringing? Sam?"

"No, me"

The motel room was damp and dingy, mould grew in the corners of the ceiling, the mattresses were lumpy, the curtains damp.

You rolled over uncomfortably, chasing the sweet relief of sleep that wouldn't come. Day three had trickled by ever so slowly, you should've sent Sam on this one.

You rolled over, maybe Bucky was awake. You were met by a pair of startlingly blue eyes and a mischievous grin.

"Hello, doll", he smiled.

"morning, sergeant"

"What do you want?"

You stopped, thinking for a moment. You sat up against the headboard, Bucky switching on a light and mimicking your actions.

"A story", you finally whispered, smiling. You loved Bucky's stories, tales from before the war. Adventures, memories, stories of hard liquor and pretty girls and sometimes both.

"about what, doll?"

"A girl", you loved Bucky, he was always so soft when it came to his women. He described them like the finest piece of artwork he had ever seen, like they were an otherworldly being not worthy of his touch, like he was blessed just to be acknowledged by them.

"Her name was Rosalind"

You smiled, "Pretty name, who was she?"

"My first real crush. She was a waitress at the cafe my Ma took us to on a Sunday. I used to sneak in there after school just to catch a glimpse of her", he smiled, reminiscing.

You and Bucky both loved how vivid his memory could be sometimes, even after the brainwashing. He could describe some of his core memories like they were yesterday, others were a little fuzzy.

"She was gorgeous, most beautiful broad in Brooklyn. She had this red hair, real curly, stopped just below her shoulders. Real pale skin, too, freckles everywhere, and I mean everywhere"

You laughed at the little comment, waiting for him to continue.

"She wore these real thick glasses, right on the tip of her nose, she had the thickest Brooklyn accent I've ever heard, too. And these gorgeous brown eyes, they looked like they were just holes, like never ending or something, portals, I dont know", you laughed again, this time he joined you.

"Anyway, one day she caught me staring, wrote her address on my napkin. I showed up at her door that evening, told Ma I was staying with Steve. She had this birthmark, on her back. It started at the apex of her thigh and ended just above her hip, she called me Buckaroo when she said goodnight. Gave me a kiss, right on the tip of my nose and said, "See you tomorrow, Buckaroo""

You smiled, a pang of jealousy settling in your stomach, but you brushed it off. "She sounds real pretty, Buck"

"Oh she was, nice too, polite and friendly, real smart, kinda like you", you blushed at the compliment.

Bucky said a quick goodnight, turning off the light and falling asleep, you following after.

The lights were low. Music hummed softly, a hand wrapped in yours. Your eyes trailed up the arm, to find Bucky at the end of it, smiling down at you. He placed a quick kiss on your lips, "c'mon, pup"

He pulled you through the crowd, away from the party, a dress danced around your heel clad ankles as you jogged to keep up with him. He pulled you into an elevator, sporting that signature mischievous grin of his.

Next thing you know you were tangled under the sheets, Bucky on top of you placing soft kisses down your neck, sucking softly on your pulse spot.

"You're so beautiful, doll", he hummed, "so, so beautiful, all for me"

A thin layer of sweat was forming on your skin, Bucky still covering you with sweet kisses as one hand tangled in your hair, the other working it's way between your legs.

Your name fell off his lips like a mantra, a litany, a prayer for redemption, "Y/N, Y/N", over and over again like it was addictive.

"Y/N", Bucky shook you awake, you had broken out in a cold sweat. He wrapped his arms around your shaking frame, "Its okay, doll, it was just a dream. You're alright, I'm right here, doll, right here".

[valkyrieskwad]

would love to see you do the 2019 fic writing roundup!!

Here ya go (this is longer than i thought it would be lmfao):

2019 Writing Round-up

AO3 word count: 278,552 words

where there’s desire, there’s gonna be a flame (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena’s a criminal and Kara loses every argument she tries to have.

um, this is the second fic i started for supergirl, but the first one i finished. i wrote this because basically my heart was not into crash and i wanted to do something quick and funny. i finished this in like four hours and was really happy with it. 

we’re burning down the bridges this time (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the au where Lena’s an investigative journalist that’s never managed to land a front page story, Kara’s a hotshot National Geographic photographer, and they make a really good team.

this is the third fic i started and second one i finished for supergirl, and i fucking struggled with this one. it wasn’t even that i didn’t like the fic, i was still just not wanting to write crash and then i lost a story i enjoyed writing and so i wrote this but i was really over writing but this kinda pulled me out of the slump. i love this story.

crash through the surface (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the fic where Lena gets involved with something dangerous, Kara’s in over her head with everything, and neither one of them know how to deal with their feelings for each other.

haha i have too much to say about this fic. it’s the first big project i’d taken on in more than three years and i felt like i did a lot of things wrong in the beginning so the end was me cleaning it up and it made it way harder to write than it should have been, so i have a bad relationship with this fic. but i don’t think it’s that bad, just, akdlfkjfhfdas.

when you feel my heat, look into my eyes (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

Lena makes sex toys, and Kara helps her test them out.

this is the buttplug fic and my only claim to fame. i love this fic.

i’ll be your light, your match, your burning sun (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

Lena only joins the uni’s ultimate frisbee team because Sam keeps talking her ear off about needing more players. But then she meets the captain, Kara Danvers, and suddenly her summer gets a lot more interesting.

okay! frisbee fic! i fucking loved writing this. i think i struggled a little with the last bit bec i wanted to show like a natural progression to young love, and i’m not super happy with some parts, but i love this fic so much it’s my baby it’s made me friends it’s - it was fun, idk. i really appreciated the fandom taking a chance on frisbee, tbh. it’s a great sport.

your love is bright as ever (even in the shadows) (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena cries a lot, loses Kara, gets her back, and starts learning how to be okay again. Especially that last bit. ♥

i’d already started writing the cave fic when i posted this, but i stopped to write this bec the reveal kinda put me in a weird mood and i needed to write about it. i really wanted to work on the cave fic, though, so ugh. this could have been better and there are places i wish i could add to it and i just kinda wrapped it up instead of drawing it out, but. i like it. it also helped me get out my reveal feelings, so i love it for what it did and what it is.

sink into you like water (pray you won’t pull me under) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

a [Fake Dating AU] in which Kara rescues Lena from an underwater cave, it turns into one of the biggest media frenzies of the year, and they somehow get branded America’s Sweetest Couple by the public. Except, they’re not actually a couple, they’re divorced.

um, there’s a lot to say about this. i got the idea for this one day out of nowhere and started toying with it. then i went hiking in colorado and in the middle of dying at the top of the mountain i was like holy fuck this is what i wanna write. so i wrote a bunch of it, then i didn’t post it bec i was like who the fuck wants to read a cave fic. then, i dont remember why but i posted some of it on tumblr and some people were like post it, so i did. i love this fic with my whole heart. there’s like, two places i wish i did something diff, but as a whole i’m happy this exists in the form it does and that it came from me.

we could slow dance to rock music, kiss while we do it (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

College AU, where Lena’s a baby goth with nipple piercings, Kara’s her roommate and completely smitten, and they get matching tattoos somewhere along the way.

um, i don’t know what to say about this. it was super fun and came from multiple tumblr prompts and i love being collaborative and playing off of other peoples’ ideas. i also think the second chapter is probably some of the best smut i’ve written tbh.

life’s a drink and love’s a drug (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

It’s not the first time Kara’s worn the scarf outside the bedroom. She’s been pretty obsessed with it ever since it moved from being a simple part of Lena’s wardrobe to a part of their sex life.

this was a tumblr prompt i made longer for someone. had a ton of fun writing it.

and we’ll start a fire, and we’ll shut it down (’til the love runs out) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

MORE FRISBEE.

it feels like i’ll never get around to writing this, but it’ll happen.

staring in the blackness at some distant star (M, Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas)

some college-aged rojascorp

this kinda started as a joke and then i realized i’m absolutely in love with this ship and i’m going to keep writing it even if no one wants it because it makes me happy.

time’s supposed to heal you (but i ain’t done much healing) (E, Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena loses herself in a small town, and finds Kara Danvers in the process.

um, this is my favorite thing i’ve ever written in my life. i have so many feelings about it, but i’ll save them for a giant tl;dr post i’ll make when it’s finally finished.

a falling star fell from your heart (and landed in my eyes) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas)

post college hiking au, where Lena’s hopeless, Andrea is a mess, and Kara’s just along for any ride.

this is also one of my favorite things i’ve written, i love this so much i love andrea i love lena i love kara i love them to gether. i love hiking. i will finish this soon.

reflecting in your eyes, like an endless summer (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the vampire au.

haha, i don’t know what to say about this. i love this story and have some super elaborate shit planned and im being shameless about it bec i’ve wanted to write a vamp story since the beginning of time and have always been like im gonna get shit for it bec everyone is over vampires. but like, i’ve been like fuck it and i’m loving it.

I WROTE SO FUCKING MUCH THIS YEAR ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY’VE READ IT ALL YOU’RE AUTOMATICALLY MY FUCKING FAV. THANK YOU.

[heat0death0of0the0universe]

i gotta talk about Narrative Telephone

I. Fucking. Love. It.

when my extreme dislike of second-hand embarrassment takes a loud backseat i can fin so much that i love about it. 

but what i love most isn't the humor. or even the continued critical role content. no, i love the allegory and the metaphor of the whole concept. 

all my life i loved the concept of watching time move forward. seeing evolution, hearing language change, watching cultures rise and fall. but what i dont like is time and the fact that im along for the ride. id rather watch evolution, not be step 48801 of a process with no end. and sadly most media and general public doesn't like watching time change. no one wants too see how the English language evolves with a rise in Spanish speaking folks and pop culture creating new idioms and words. everyone would much rather watch something with the same animals with the same people walking the same cities speaking the same language, albeit maybe with a few more neon lights and holograms to make you feel like its in some vague ~future~. but narrative telephone gives me the change i like to see. i can finally feel like im watching a story going through the times and changes of a culture.

im gonna need to explain a little more. what better way than to show off all the current episodes.

episode one is simple, pumat and the big bad wolf. the sorry starts with pumat on a stroll through the woods. he finds a talking wolf and they fight. the story ends with the pumat eating a nice mushroom and wolf stew. but the changes to the story are what get to me. i love ashley, trust me i really do. but in this context, she’s basically the dark ages. everything crumbles and the story follows in the crash. this point is when the more brothers grimm tales and nonsense folklore are added in. people dont like the night, so the seen changes to match. suddenly the wolf not only speaks, but has a beak! the fighting through being somewhat vague in the original story now is lost to time and is none existent. taliesin builds off it, changing it ever so slightly from a garbled to a more of a warning story. a story that reflects a change in a cultures thoughts on the woods. when everything was all writings and giant building the woods where just a place to rule over and harvest, but after the fall now its returned to the unexplored. the place of fey and monsters that should never be explored at night. marisha adds winter and gives it just the smallest bit of added context. a man in the woods during night before might have been seen as mad or crazy, but a man scrounging for some mushrooms in a dead forest in winter isnt tempting fate, he’s struggling to live. a shift in view also makes it so that the beaked magic wolf is just as weakened by the winter, and is easily turned away by just a voice. sam is..something. if ashley is the dark ages than id say sam is like a renaissance. specifically a very drunk renaissance. the kingdom was risen and is filled with hubris and pride.its gained a very “man falls for his hubris” greek vibe to it.  pumat has gone from scavenging to walking unbothered by cold dead winter. the kingdom has lost its enjoyment of strange creatures, monsters are still around in legend, but most have been replaced with magical people, with a clear rise in “person in an animals skin” tropes. the original fight has been mostly lost, now the story is that of a magic hunter who eyes the mushrooms taken by pumat and gives a chuckle and permission to continue exploring the woods unimpeded. pumat eats just the mushrooms, which now have gained the lupine taste, and the vague description of “he became something more” giving the idea of some sort of curse for his nature. Laura has added back the wolfs anger, but removed the suspicion of pumat. the curse is still in the end of the story though. this could be a change into more of a forbidden fruit trope. because pumat still trusted strange mushrooms in a dead forest with a magic guardian, he paid the price. travis is a sort of close to modernization of the story. its the point in time when its nonsensical nature and magic was viewed as weird and convoluted.  similar to when we look at older myths with long intricate plans and think “nice story, but poor pacing”. liam goes for the “granddad telling stories by the fire” vibe. the tale has died down and is being co-opted for new use. now the rather dark tale has turned into more of a children's storybook with messages like not to trust strangers and to not do drugs being tagged on. 

ep. 2: jesters ability to say 1000 words a second. pickadors plume is a story in a story. a story about gaining a treasure through a complex and detailed series of events  with lots of loaded lore about the world with no clear description of what the treasure truly is. liam is the first few generations. the generation close enough to the original to try and remember, but not enough to keep every detail. the best example is of the ending, where the treasure should be. humans love rewards, so a story with a vague reward isnt enough for people. in liams generation transition to the griffon, travel, and fruit specifically being the treasure begins to lay its foundations. since this is already so long i will also mention that the transition from stone shaped like a heart ---to----> stone shaped like a hut could be an example of a changing dialect and language. sam, travis, and marisha are clear evidence of a shift in culture. jesters complete backstory wasnt introduced till now. and in it comes the cultures want to explain this event. humans love simplifying, but we also love to describe things. if we want to, we will add words just as much as we remove them. the dialect changes just as much. the new word of “schtupping." has either replaced or become a synonym of the word fucking, the name of the plum as even changed too. the treasure has gone from “lost to time” to “there is treasure, i just wont name it”. but fret not, for the mystery aspect is still in the story. for now everything will disappear like it never happened, or did it? though travis specifically specifies that you keep the treasure. humans love rewards, it was gonna come back eventually. matt is the sorta an enlightening moment in the society. at the very least its the point in time where people who know geography and history say “wait, that layout doesnt make any sense”. taelisan and ashley are the beginning of the end. the slow fall into the dark ages. the story becomes vague and small. slowly becoming more of a statement and less of a story. the society is forgetting large chunks and its bleeding out into other legends. there maybe a sort of thanksgiving/ christmas sort of event spawned from or because of the myth, but the story itself isnt going to live every far (hence why its ending in a dark age and not somewhen else)

Ep. 3: boy do humans enjoy rich’s, love, and drama. sam’s story comes from a society that warns against wanting what you wish for without expecting some strings attached and features a evil ruler to boot, just so they can date the legend. the story of a delivery boy who invents a pair of glasses to see through objects and uses them to win rewards and gives them all to a rich woman that only loves him for the money, and really loves the prince. matt changes the story so the two are already in love. but also changed it so that it was the greed of the prince and the wife that lead to the heartbreak rather than the delivery boys naivety. travis changes delivery boy from a clever inventor to just already owning the glasses. both matt and travis with there respective fictional cultures are showing how humans like to remember the stuff they liked in a story, so when they forget when something specifically came in, they just fill in the blank and assume its always been there. travis specificaly begins the stories slow march to a less heartbreaking story by adding a joke to help give the couple a more flushed out relationship. this is also the shift in cultural perspective. the antagonist began his life as a evil prince, but now is simply a rotten neighbor. this could mean the myth was co-opted to fit a better role, possibly after the removal of monarchy or just of a specific bloodline.the rich wife becomes just the wife, no money involved. this is also the beginning of what a full fledged re-write of the story. now the delivery man has gone from giving up to still being in love with the wife and now even standing up for himself. (possibly a mix of when the story was of a prince and used to promote the common folk to rise up against the kings, leading to the theory of a removal of the crown). ashely...oh ashely. this moment in history atleast solidifies the love between them, and even brings back delivery husbands inventor skills. liam is the slow clawing climb back up out of the collapse. he’s still very much in the collapse of the kingdom. but aleast its just before when begin to solidify into the new meta of the era. laura and taelisin’s era is a complete re-write after the collapse of the society. the focus has moved to more of a folk-hero style legend about rising above through theft and cheating (could mean that after the collapse the culture around theft changed from crime to fighting to survive. the antagonist has really changed from being the bad guy to just in the love triangle. the society seems to agree with every polyamourous person when we all say “this how drama triangle could have been avoided if you guys all just got together”. marisha’s only real change a more modernization from “specticals” to “goggles” and that the culture either wants to make half-orcs feel more inclusive or just really dont like goliaths and changed it. 

ep. 4: deargodfinallyigottheneedtowritethisoutofmysystemsoletsspeedrunthisshit. liams story is an analogy for the horrors, pointlessness, and sacrifics of war. but over time the story shifts from a ���we did this to ourselves” narrative to a “an outside force did this to use”. this shifts the goal from a need for peace to a need to protect everyone for the sake of the many. ill write more later but dear god i my hand might fall off soon

[luvuwite]

1 - 100

IF YOU THINK IM ACTUALLY GONNA ANSWER ALL 100 OF THEM

youre right

long post warning AHIOQWR

The meaning behind my url: 

luvuwite? nothin’ actually, its just a purple stone!!

A picture of me:

no

How many tattoos i have and what they are:

dont have any Last time i cried and why:

yesterday i believe and personal Piercings i have:

earrings, 2 Favorite band:

i have way too many favorites, so ill do the one im currently listening to: Purity Ring

Biggest turn offs:

what Top 5 (foods):

soup, dumplings, pizza, lasagna, ‘n soup  Tattoos i want:

none Biggest turn ons:

i said stup Age:

14 turning 15 in 2 months Ideas of a perfect date:

soup Life goal:

to make my own video game or animation Piercings i want:

cartilage piercing Relationship status:

singl like a pringl Favorite movie:

ponyo A fact about my life:

i live in a house Phobia:

dont think i have one Middle name:

personal Height:

4′11 Are you a virgin?

stup What’s your shoe size?

uhhh 6 something or 5 in womans i think i dont remember What’s your sexual orientation?

man and waman Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

no Someone you miss:

hM maybe this one chick i met in 7th grade named Sam What’s one thing you regret?

being 13

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:

justin bieber Favorite ice cream?

chocolate or oreo One insecurity:

voice What my last text message says:

marsh: SHE RA AT 3AM WATCH ME CRYING

me: OH MY GOD WAIT WHAT SPAMS NETFLIX Have you ever taken a picture naked?

what the fuck no Have you ever painted your room?

yes when i was 11 or 10 its blue and yellow Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

never kissed someone b4 Have you ever slept naked?

yes Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

no Have you ever had a crush?

yes Have you ever been dumped?

no Have you ever stole money from a friend?

no Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

no Have you ever been in a fist fight?

no Have you ever snuck out of your house?

no(?) Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

no(?) Have you ever been arrested?

no Have you ever made out with a stranger?

no Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

no Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

yes Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

no Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

yes, go to sixflags with my mom fuck you mid school Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

yes, sleepover with my OG gang Have you ever seen someone die?

no Have you ever been on a plane?

yes Have you ever kissed a picture?

no Have you ever slept in until 3?

yes Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

yes after that one question Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

once Have you ever made a snow angel?

yes Have you ever played dress up?

yes Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

yes Have you ever been lonely?

yes Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

yes and got sleep paralysis from it funny story Have you ever been to a club?

no Have you ever felt an earthquake?

no Have you ever touched a snake?

no Have you ever ran a red light?

no Have you ever been suspended from school?

no Have you ever had detention?

no Have you ever been in a car accident?

witnessed one Have you ever hated the way you look?

yes Have you ever witnessed a crime?

ive done the crime yes Have you ever pole danced?

no Have you ever been lost?

yes in market basket that one time funny story Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

no Have you ever felt like dying?

when i broke my arm in 5th grade yes Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

yes Have you ever sang karaoke?

yes and never again Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

oh yes Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

yes in 2nd-3rd grade where they were telling a joke and i tried to hold it in and it came pouring out Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

uhh with my mom Have you ever kissed in the rain?

no Have you ever sang in the shower?

yes Have you ever made out in a park?

no Have you ever dream that you married someone? yes Have you ever glued your hand to something?

no Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

once Have you ever gone to school partially naked?

no Have you ever been a cheerleader?

no Have you ever sat on a roof top?

yes Have you ever brushed your teeth?

everyday every morning if you dont youre gross Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

yes Have you ever played chicken?

whats that Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

no Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

yes Have you ever broken a bone?

yes Have you ever been easily amused?

i laugh at everything so yes Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

yes Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

whats that Have you ever cheated on a test?

yes Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

yes Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

yes Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

i used to play mlp games on roblox

[nothingadventured-nothinggained]

OitNB Character Updates

Ready to binge the new season of Orange is the New Black but dont want to binge the last season to remember where at your favorite characters are at?

Under the Read More there is updates on where most of the characters left off in the last season. I divided them based on which cell block they’re in when they were in minimum. Also there’s a section on the COs and staff.

Not everyone is covered, specifically none of the new characters we met this season, but I think I covered the majority of them! Also forgive any mistakes; I tried to do my research but any mistakes pointed out will be updated! Enjoy!

‘The Suburbs’ Inmates

Piper Chapman: She’s out of here! After finally getting prison married to Alex in a beautiful ceremony, Piper has gained early release. Cal came to pick her up from prison and brought her back to his home where Neri is making something with chard. She is last seen in Cal’s car, with him asking her what she’s going to do now.

Alex Vause: Alex made a deal with the devil, or more specifically Carol, to get Badison to stop trying to steal Piper’s date. In exchange, Alex would be on Carol’s crew. No clue how things are going to change now that Carol and Barb are dead. She put in an application to law school but got rejected. She is last seen out in the yard playing kickball.

Galina “Red” Reznikov: Red’s been recovering from a rough last season. She got 10 years added on to her sentence for being a riot instigator, after being named by Piper, Freida and Nicky. Thus begins her revenge scheme against Freida. She gets frustrated with Carol because Carol is more focused on inter-block fighting than getting Frieda. Eventually, Red’s family came to visit her with the grandkids for the first time in years but she ruins it by trying to choke out Frieda and gets sent to the SHU. She is last seen joking with Gloria in the SHU. 

Tiffany Doggett: After leaving Donuts in the woods, she turns herself back in. She gets to join the ladies in B-Block (”Florida”) after making a deal with Linda. While in Florida she gets close with Suzanne and tries to get her to be more social. She convinced Suzanne to join the kickball team and go out to the yard to play. She is last seen playing kickball outside. 

Nicky Nichols: Nicky named Red as an instigator of the riot in order to get out of drug charges (since she took over minimum’s pharmacy during the riot). Red forgave her, however, because she was upfront about it unlike others. Nicky joins Barb’s crew, but she tries to be the voice of reason and peace. Once the moment of the attack happens, she convinces the D-Block girls not to fight. She is last seen playing kickball outside.

Lorna Morello Muccio: Lorna got fully into gang warfare this season but then realized how stupid it was after Piper and Alex’s wedding. Nicky has her hide in a closet in the laundry room so she won’t have to go to the bloodbath of kickball, but Lorna goes into surprise labor. She is last seen in agony being dragged to medical by one of the guards, with blood between her legs. 

Frieda Berlin: Been in hiding in B-Block. Super paranoid since Carol, Barb and Red are all after her. Crazy Eyes was acting as her bodyguard, but Frieda told Suzanne that she wasn’t her friend and pushed her away. She was last seen in her cell, smiling and eating a pudding cup.

“The Ghetto” Inmates

Tasha “Taystee” Jefferson: After pleading guilty of being a riot instigator, she went on trial for the murder of Piscatella and was found guilty. She is last seen re-entering into Litchfield, but it is unconfirmed what the sentence will be for the crime. There’s a worry it may be the death penalty, but it’s “extremely rare”.

Cindy “Tova” Hayes: Cindy deals with a lot of guilt because she testified against Taystee, in exchange for immunity for riot charges. After talking with Flaca, she realizes she needs to move on. She is last seen acting as an announcer for the kickball game.

Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren: Suzanne was put in B-Block and develops a close relationship with Frieda and Pennsatucky. She struggled with going out into the yard for fear of the gang war, but ends up joining the kickball team. She is last seen on the field playing kickball.

Sophia Burset: Ends up in B-Block. She decides not to sue FCC since they bribed her with a whole lot of money and early release. She is last seen reuniting with her wife on the outside.

“Spanish Harlem” Inmates

Gloria Mendoza: Gloria got no extra time for the riot, but told the investigators that it was Maria who instigated it. She doesn’t like all this gang warfare, and tries to tell Luschek so he will stop it. Instead, she finds out about Fantasy Inmate and threatens Alvarez to tell everyone about it, so he sends her to the SHU. She is last seen talking with Red in the SHU.

Aleida Diaz: Aleida is currently worried because Daya is getting hooked on the drugs she and Hopper are sneaking in. She eventually decides to give up on Daya in order to save her other kids. It’s unclear if she and Hopper are actually romantically together, or just together until she can get enough money to get her kids back.

Marisol “Flaca” Gonzalez: She is working as the radio DJ for the prison. She and Tova become very close as co-DJs, but she still misses Maritza. She is last seen acting as the announcer for the kickball game.

Dayanara “Daya” Diaz: Daya took a plea for murdering CO Humps. She is assigned to C-Block and starts dating/hooking up with Daddy. She eventually starts to take drugs, initially for the pain of being beaten by guards but then because she becomes addicted. She is last seen in the yard playing kickball.

Maria Ruiz: Maria is still struggling with everything that happened in the last season. She tries to turn to religion, but realizes that no one still forgives her for what happened in the riot so she joins the gang life. Eventually after a talk with the Mormon guard, she realizes she can still be a good person. She gets McCullough to make everyone choose kickball teams so the teams are mixed. She is last seen on the yard playing kickball.

Blanca Flores: Blanca tells the investigators that Maria instigated the riot, in exchange for immunity for riot charges. She learns she’s running out of time to have a baby, so she tries to sneak some of Diablo’s sperm into the prison to get prison. It doesn’t work, but she learns she is getting early release. On the day of the release, she doesn’t leave the prison but is instead put back in cuffs by Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Poor Diablo is left waiting outside of the prison, flowers in hand.

 Management/CO’s

Joe Caputo: After the riot, he was put on leave and ran out of things to do. He tried to get his warden position back, but is transferred to Missouri. While packing to move, he starts to get close and invested in Taystee’s case and begins to work with other inmates to file suit against MCC, which causes him to be fired. During all of this, he is strengthening his relationship with Natalie Figueroa. He follows the case and even investigates the CERT team leader who, unbeknownst to him, covered up Piscatella’s murder. Once Taystee is found guilty, he confronts the man who punches him in the nose. He then goes to an MCC party and reunited with Fig. He is last seen getting taken care of by Fig.

Natalie “Fig” Figueroa: Fig finally admits that she is Joe’s girlfriend in this season, while still appearing in public with her gay husband for appearances. She fights with Joe about how he is so interested in the female prisoners even though they have done nothing for him. She is last seen taking care of Joe, who was punched in the nose.

Linda Ferguson: As the new senior vice president of MCC, Linda seems to have learned nothing of her time in the riot and how terribly inmates are treated. She talks about stuffing as many inmates as possible into a prison, uses bribes to stop a lawsuit and makes a completely fake commercial promoting MCC (now PolyCon). She is last seen announcing to a bunch of fancy rich people that the newest moneymaker is in immigration detention centers.

Sam Healy: Healy meets with Caputo at the beginning of the season. He is out of the psychiatric hospital, and now much more mellow. He tells Caputo that he needs to move on from the riot and put Litchfield behind him.

Joel Luschek: While at Max, Luschek becomes commissioner of the Fantasy Inmate team, as well as running the rec class. While teaching rec he gets close to Gloria. Throughout the season Luschek seems to really just not care about anything. He feels guilty that Gloria was put in the SHU after finding his Fantasy Inmate score sheets. He is last seen in a DeLorean (he’s collecting Back to the Future merch) driving away scared that the kickball game will end in a bloodbath.

Artesian McCullough: McCullough is really having a tough time with what happened in the prison. She’s struggling with anxiety, paranoia, insomnia and depression. She snaps at inmates sometimes, and whenever she loses control she is seen putting out lighted cigarettes on her thighs as a form of self-harm. At the kickball game, when Maria tries to put a stop to the bloodbath, McCullough trusts her and seems to slightly get over her fear of inmates.

Charlie “Donuts” Coates: Coates tried to make it work with Pennsatucky on the outside and wants them to escape to Canada, where they can hide out. She ends up leaving him because of his violent nature. He is last seen sleeping in a forest.

Lee Dixon: Dixon joins Coates on his road trip because he thinks Coates is suicidal. Once it is revealed that Pennsatucky is there as well, he actually accepts it and joins them at an amusement park. Once a warrant is put out for her arrest, Dixon leaves. He returns to Max as a CO. He still holds resentment towards some of the inmates for the riot. He agrees with another guard saying that the inmates are animals, but says that “there are some good ones”.

Ryder Blake: Blake returns to Max as a CO, and gets involved in Fantasy Inmate. At the opening party, he smokes pot, eventually saying “What if Joseph Smith made it all up?” After the party he drops out of Fantasy Inmate. He gets close with Maria and works with her through her anger and helps her grow in her religion. He is last seen helping Lorna to medical.

Locations of Others Not Mentioned

Unknown: Miss Claudette, Stella Carlin, Allison Abdullah, Janae Watson, Brook Soso, Maritza Ramos, Mei Chang, Brandy Epps

Inmates Transferred to MCC Cleveland: Norma Romano, Gina Murphy, Yoga Jones, Anita DeMarco, Big Boo, Leanne Taylor, Angie Rice, Shelly Ginsberg, Stephanie Hapakuka, Kasey Sankey, Brandy Epps, Skinhead Helen, Carmen “Ouija” Aziza

Released: Jane Ingalls (compassionate release), Judy King

Psych: Lolly Whitehill

Deceased: Poussey Washington, Maureen Kukudio, Miss Rosa Cisneros, Tricia Miller

[keylethwasleft]

i honestly do think its interesting what sam's characters and both the immediate and the wider reaction to them says about the people who identify with them most (this is secretly a post about MEEEE). it shows that hiding everything about yourself thats vulnerable under even the thinnest veneer of Comedy/Class Clown antics, even self deprecating joakes, Works.

before nott's real backstory came out, there was a more prevalent (or at least something i noticed due to heavily identifying with her and trying to understand her early on) resistence to taking her very seriously, both within the game and in the fan content. there wasnt NOTHING trying to delve deeper into her, but there seemed to be a lot more people willing to take her at face value (including icly, which i assume the other players know sam well enough by now to know Better, but their characters may not have). when people focused on her attachment to caleb, from the start people assumed caleb was Her protector, and when she outlined how false that was, there was still a focus on how she can help Caleb. how good she is for Caleb. less on what it meant for nott. which is probably partly how sam managed to hide the most maternal character ever actually being a mom under all our noses. how easy it could be to lie about her backstory when no one sees it necessary to dig deeper into her (often self deprecating) reliance on comedy!

and it was MORE obvious with scanlan! even when he started turning to illegal drugs to deal with trauma, scanlans personality as someone who always wants to deflect from himself with Humor made the biggest takeaway that it was meant to be FUNNY. even to the players (who knows how their characters would have reacted; they largely didnt know). there was some concern from fans, but from what i saw few thought it was more than a joke. because scanlan presented himself as someone to be laughed at!

in fact, even after having to bring scanlan back to life two days in a fucking row? the other characters didnt think he might be completely traumatized by dying TWICE in TWO DAYS, and went so far as to prank him for when he woke up from his post death coma. THE PLAYERS WERE ALSO SURPRISED WHEN THIS BACKFIRED ON THEM, because of how scanlan presented himself normally.

it wasnt until scanlan had a full public breakdown at them that anyone, including a majority of the fans, realized how messed up he was at that point. because he wasnt being funny anymore. he was lashing out. he was being vulnerable.

and whats funny is... tary had less of this as a part of his personality, but he was a comedic trope. clueless rich boy longing for glory. and there was still hints of this going on with him, until he revealed the extent of his fathers abusive nature. BUT, because he was OPEN TO BEING VULNERABLE - playing his real fears straight, being honest about his background, being Open to changing (after some threats from pike) - and possibly also because he came in so soon after sam's bomb dropped with scanlan - people were more concerned about him emotionally very quickly. directly after doty died, before he had a chance to react, Most of the fans realized and were concerned that tary had just lost the only real friend he had that he didnt have to pay to let him stick around.

and since a good portion of the fans started at campaign 2 and didnt experience campaign 1 (and many still havent, and thats fine), even though nott has been a slightly more vulnerable character than scanlan - she has little of his confidence, and she is a ball of anxiety - she deflects by making it a joke... and many took it at face value. sure, she was obviously anxious and obviously full of self hatred, but shes Mostly funny, so shes not meant to be taken too seriously.

i dont know, as someone who mostly interacts with my own trauma and general Issues by joking about it... im really interested in what this shows about how people react to other people. its practically a cliche in the "comedy world" - though i have no claim to be a part of it - that people who are funny are hiding some deep insecurity or trauma. but people are still surprised when Funny People are human. ITS WILD! and makes me wonder how people react to me, whose main sense of humor is "its frankly hilarious that im traumatized" and etc, who pretty much is hesitant to be vulnerable without peppering some Joakes in there.

anyway shoutouts to my fellow idiots who identify way too much with sams characters

[idreamofhazel]

All Work, No Play

Requested by @murielthemagicalgirl​: Reader crushes hard on Sam and works from time to time together with the boys. And she's introverted and a usually mature and serious person. But when she accidentally sees Sam without his shirt she gets hella flustered and awkward and Dean grins from ear to ear and teases her because of it until she confesses maybe that she indeed likes his brother, not knowing that said is standing behind her

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: just fluff

Your machete sliced cleanly through the neck of a falling vampire. As the body thumped to the floor, you drug the blade across your jacket with two quick swipes.

“You’re going to need some tide pens for that.” Dean Winchester stood behind you, chuckling to himself.

A quick glance around the room showed you that the last of the nest was fallen. The bloody mess had splattered and pooled on the victorian rug beneath your feet. There might have been some pieces of salvageable furniture elsewhere in the house but none in this room. Four dead vampires had stained the parlor with red. It was very Addam’s Family meets The Walking Dead. You picked up the arms of a vampire who fell across the velvet footrest and drug it across the floor. You dropped her on top of the one you just killed and headed for another one.

“What’s up with the pile? Or vamp-ile, if you will.” Dean couldn’t contain the pleasure he derived from coming up with that joke.

You dumped another body in your pile. Out of the corner of your eye, Sam knudged Dean with his shoulder and began to help you with the clean up task. When you thought no one could see your face, you smiled to yourself. You appreciated the help.

“I never knew a hunter that could smile about their work like that.” Dean was suddenly beside you, his voice in your ear.

“I never knew a hunter that cracked so many jokes on the job,” you said.

“Jokes keep the sanity alive, sweetheart.”

“Dean,” Sam chided from across the room.

“She’s worked with us enough times to know my style,” Dean said.

“And you’ve worked with me enough to know mine,” you shot back.

That elicited a smug smile from Sam.

Your cheeks grew hot as Sam looked at you with pride. Your cleverness was instantly cut back. No matter how confident you were, one look from Sam turned you into a stuttering mess.

“I know you won’t come celebrate with us,” Dean said, “All work, no play. It’s really sad.”

“I’ll go.” You faced the opposite direction of the Winchesters, bagging a vampire head. You could feel their wide eyes on the back of your head.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to take your notes or, or clean your knives?” Sam didn’t mean his question as a jab.

You smiled at his memory of your habits before turning around. “No. I’ll just do it tomorrow. Come on,” you said, slipping your knife into your boot and throwing the garbage bag full of heads over your shoulder, “It’s time to have some fun. Let’s party. Or whatever you do.”

Sam and Dean exchanged a glance as you walked out the stained glass door. The tattered blanket covering the glass gave up and fell to the floor as the lock clicked into place. Dean mouthed Fun?; Sam shrugged. Sam had never seen you with a drink in your hand, let alone in a bar. The thought of it made him worry that something else was going on. He’d have to ask you when Dean wasn’t around.

Being in a bar was an uncomfortable experience. You could handle hunting challenges with tact and grace but the dynamics of the drinking scene disoriented you. You alternated your attention between the stray threads on your shirt and taking sips of your jack and coke. Dean played pool for gas money while Sam sat next to you, finishing his second beer.

“So, honestly,” Sam said, “What made you decide to come out here? You trying to prove something to Dean?”

His smile was teasing and overwhelming.

“Uh, no. I,” you began, your cheeks growing hot, “I guess I-”

“Hey Sam!” Dean called out. You both turned your heads to the sound. Dean motioned Sam over from across the bar, “New game! Teams!”

“Hold that thought,” Sam said apologetically.

He took off towards the pool table, leaving you with the rest of your answer hanging on the tip of your tongue. The Winchester Pool Games lasted as long as Dean felt a winning streak. You’d have to explain another night, whenever you ran into Sam and Dean again.

You sucked your jack and coke dry, staring down the barrel of the straw until the last drop was gone. Dean whooped behind you. Maybe it was time to join the fun.

You grabbed a handful of peanuts, swung around on your stool, and hopped off. Sam was leaning over the pool table, the arch of his back displayed gracefully. He adjusted his pool stick with deliberation, his shirt hovering over the edge of the table, his hair falling over his cheek. He hit the cue ball with accuracy, sinking in two of the opponent’s with one strike, then stood proudly.

The other two men grimaced, unaware that Sam had such precision. There was a fair amount of money on the line.

You wandered over to a table with a satisfactory view of the game. Sam winked at you as one of their opponents tried to sink a ball but grumbled when he missed. The alcohol in your system gave you the sense to smile back with a laugh.

The stolen glances continued and ended when Dean declared victory with a sunken eight ball. They had played four games and won each of them. Sam bought three victory beers and handed one to you. Your eyes fell to the floor as the confidence you had wore off.

By the end of the beers, exhaustion had creeped up on all of you. You unanimously declared the night over, getting up to leave the bar in unison. Dean grabbed your shoulder from behind before you reached the door. Sam kept walking.

“Hey, you’re staying at the same motel as us, right?” he said, glancing over as Sam walked out the door.

“Yeah, why?”

“Can you come to our room? I wanna talk to you about something. I’ll send you a text when we’re decent.” He added a smirk but his request seemed off.

“Uhh, sure.”

“Cool.” Dean patted your shoulder then let his hand fall as he took off after Sam.

He left you standing in the middle of the bar without an explanation but with a hoard of questions. A deep voice slurred from across the bar. “You all alone now?”

There could only be about two reasons why Dean would ask you to his room. One, he was going to play a prank, or two, he or both Winchesters had been keeping a secret from you that had life-or-death ramifications.

The voice called out again. “He-eey you wanna drank I sayd?”

You were in the mood for none of it. You stalked out the door, letting it bang loudly behind you. Dean, or both, would hear it from you if one of them had decided to do something stupid again like sell their souls.

The text came shortly after you brushed your teeth and changed into sweats. You knocked four times on the thin, wooden door and waited. Dean took a long time to answer for someone who was expecting a guest.

The door flew open and instead of Dean’s face, Sam’s bare chest greeted you.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” Sam said.

“I, uh, Dean said he’d be here, but I guess I, I heard wrong. Sorry.” You kept your eyes anywhere but on his freshly showered six-pack. You noticed his pajama pants were plaid but you had to be careful where you looked there, too. You looked up but darted when you met his eyes. Then you moved down to his feet. They were bare.

“You can come in and wait for him if you want.” Sam was acting nonchalant. Way too nonchalant.

“No that’s ok.” You turned on your heels and fled.

Well that was stupid! Could you have handled that situation any more poorly!

“Hey Y/N!” Dean.

You stopped next to a row of vending machines, the light from their displays revealing Dean’s smug face.

“You said to meet you in your room. I went to your room. You were not there.”

“Well I’m here.”

You glowered at him. “I think you know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I do.”

You threw back your head and sighed. “You knew Sam would be there by himself.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Because he was shirtless when he opened the door!”

Dean chuckled to himself. “I can’t say anything about what Sam chooses to do when I’m not there.”

Your cheeks grew hot again. “That’s not the point!” you sighed, “I can tell by the look on your face that you orchestrated this whole set up.”

“Set up for what?”

“You know exactly what.”

“Ooh, because you have a massive crush on my little brother?”

“Yes! Fine! Ok? And you knew he’d be there, probably shirtless, and you knew I’d answer the door completely unprepared and make myself look like an idiot!”

“You didn’t look like an idiot, Y/N,” Sam said.

Sam.

You spun around. Now he wore a gray t-shirt paired with his sneakers and a facetious grin.

“Why are you here!” you cried.

He chuckled. “I wanted to get a snack.” He gestured towards the machines.

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I didn’t really know what was going on.”

“So you don’t actually have a massive crush on me?”

“Well I-”

“Because that would be disappointing,” Sam said. His eyes never wavered from your face.

Your heart picked up speed as if it were going to fly out of your throat and the butterflies in your stomach felt more like a flock of hummingbirds.

Sam reached his hand for your elbow and pulled you close. You didn’t protest.

“I’ve actually waited a long time to do this,” he whispered to you.  

“Me too,” you breathed out.

Sam responded with a beaming smile before his lips met yours. The kiss wasn’t perfect; there were nose bumps, but it was everything you imagined it would be. You melted. Sam was a great kisser.

“Uh guys, I’m still here,” Dean said.

Sam didn’t stop so neither did you. You wiggled your arm out of his hold and waved Dean off. This is what he wanted after all, for you and Sam to finally admit your feelings for one another. How it was happening was all his fault really. You felt Sam smile against your lips and you mirrored him, putting your arms around his neck and pulling him closer, basking in the glow of an off-brand soda machine and a blinking vacancy sign. Having fun was the best decision you ever made.

Tags:

Everything: @akshi8278​ @amanda-teaches @angelus320 @atc74 @authoressskr @bambi95-blog @because-imma-lady-assface @blanketmadeofstar @brewsthespirit-blog @britney8793 @cutedictionary @ellen-reincarnated1967 @emoryhemsworth @feelmyroarrrr @frenchybell @growningupgeek @gryffindorable713 @hexparker @holyfuckloueh @impala-dreamer @its-not-candy @jayankles @jesspfly @luciisthebest @megansescape @mjdoc90 @mogaruke @moonlitskinwalker @mrsbatesmotel53 @mrswhozeewhatsis @nightmaredean @oneshoeshort @pizza-boy-cas @seenashwrite @shamelesslydean @sis-tafics @skybinx-blog @spontaneousam @super-not-naturall @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @there-must-be-a-lock @waiting-to-find-myshadows @wordstothewisereaders @itsthesamegametoday @mereka18 @sea040561 @french-the-llama @calaofnoldor @hanginwithmanerds @sadist-fangirl232 @serienjunkiegirl @covered-byroses @lostnliterature @un-autor-anonim​

Oneshots/Drabbles: @blackfandomtrashandproud @lipstickandwhiskey @wildfirewinchester @pjofangirl18 @aubreystilinski @starry-chaos @namelessflorence @coffee-obsessed-writer​

[maspwinj2]

So, I'm new to actually...Thinking J2 are in love. For the longest time I thought "conspiracy theory!!" but as of late, I decided to be open-minded and, well, now I see it. I was wondering, can you remember the thing or moment that first made you realize they're in love? Tbh I think they love their wives, but I don't think they're IN love with them. I get the feeling they're sweet, close friends and parents together but not in love. Again I'm VERY new so I don't truly know about the wives.

But also…Idk how to feel about Gen. Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t mesh quite as well with J2? What do you think? (Sorry if you’ve answered similar questions before, again I’m new as in like…Only today literally did I finally realize lol)

hey! it’s cool to hear you now see the light! thanks for being open minded!

for me there wasn’t a specific moment that made me go: “ok that’s it THAT is gay” lol no, it’s just an accumulation of things and looking at the big picture

so long story (not so) short:

i started watching spn in summer 2015, and dug in the fandom in september 2015 and the thing is i never gave a shit about jared and jensen and conventions and all, i figured they got along but didn’t care more than that because i was only in it for sam and dean and during those months i never EVER saw once a tinhat post or even a mention that there are fans who think j2 are together all i saw was posts by people shipping j2 being like “hahaha they are such husbands!” you know? but only in a joking shipper tone so i never took it seriously and the way i found about their relationship was purely coincidental!! so i could have never learnt about them at all if not for this coincidence!!! 

i found @jaredandjensendaily blog by pure luck (i suggest you read it if you haven’t yet, it’s really great) and it was the most shockng experience of my fandom life i swear to god because i really did NOT expect something like that coming from jared and jensen lmao, i remember EXACTLY when and where it happened, and i was in a shop and i was staring at my phone for like 10 minutes like “what the fuck is THIS?????????!!!!!!!!!!!” so i was really excited and interested but it was 100% the thrill of discovering a big secret and pure juicy gossip lmao i still didn’t give a shit about j2 themselves, and she talked about j2 being together like its the most natural and obvious thing in the world (which it is but i didn’t know that at the time) and i was like “WHAT??? IS SHE SERIOUS????!!!!!” 

anyway on her blog she linked “speak the truth”   and said to read it if you’re a newbie so i did it and was truly impressed, i wasn’t convinced at all but i was definitely leaning on the j2 tinhat side and since i was interested i made research and started looking for tinhats blogs and all and watching conventions and little by little you start seeing the patterns and you start seeing and witnessing how much j2 love each other and since speak the truth stops in early 2013 i learnt thanks to tinhat blogs that j2 actually live in the same place which made me go “WAIT WHAT?????!!!!!” and again with time you discover new slips and inconsistencies and you see that j2 spend all their time together instead of with their “wives” lol so in the end you understand that the only logical reason that explains all of that (the slips, the inconsistencies, the them always being together and living together and raising their kids together and getting married at the same time and people they work with saying how much they get along and actually witnessing how much they get along during cons and knowing the only reason spn went for so long was because of how well they get along and the not brotherly looks they give each other etc etc etc) the ONLY reason it all makes sense is that they’re in love and have to hide it because otherwise it would put an end to the show, THIS  is the key that exlains everything else, them being gay and bearding is the last piece that completes the puzzle, that explains all the weird and shady stuff that surrounds j2

so it’s been a while now that im 10000% sure that j2 are together and what they have is relationship goals and every day with more slips and the time they spend together or the damage control that comes after they look too gay (couch couch date night incident), they only convince me more and more

so yeah no, sorry, there’s no one thing that sealed the deal for me, it’s everything put together that does it and honestly i really don’t get how people can be convinced by one moment, i get when people go to conventions and see them together IRL and they’re struck by their love but just one moment?? nah man i need some cold hard facts, and catching j2 red handed in their lies, that’s what truly convince me

to me understanding j2 are together is 50% seeing how beautiful their love is and the sacrifices they make to stay together in this homophobic business and society and it’s 50% respecting myself because i hate how j2 and their PR team treat us like fucking morons and think we’re all stupid sheeps and they can sell us their bullshit narrative and we’ll swallow it and say thanks, yeah no i have my fucking pride and im not gonna let those assholes make fun of me like that no way

about the wives, youll learn little by little why people (me included) dont like them and dont believe they’re close friends 

but basically danneel was a party girl, drinking, doing drugs and forced jensen into the marriage by going on the ted casablanca show assuring everyone she will marry jensen so jensen was trapped but after jj’s birth she calmed down and now shes pretty low key so now she’s the “good” beard, and also jensen is giving jobs to her entire family with the beer business and that’s annoying to me, she can fuck off

and gen was cool at first but jared was always the one doing the most OTT bearding *insert eye rolls*, also people dont like her cos she cant act and ruined ruby and she’s gotten worse and worse with the years, fighting with the Js leading to jareds breakdown in 2015 and now with all that instagram bullshit to have all the attention on her bla bla bla and with the latest vid of her with jared shes officially THE worst tm (and with this latest vid i think it’s an understatement to say she doesn’t mesh with j2 lmao) so she really needs to fuck off lol

but most of the relationship with the wives is based on behind the scenes talks so there is no hard proof of that and i suggest you make your own opinion, take your time, but just don’t believe it when j2 say they have a support system with the wives thats utter bullshit, they just push the narrative that they’re  a big family to make it look normal that they (j2) spend that much time together, live together and raise their kids together and if it weren’t for those bearding arrangements j2 would never spend that much time with gen nor danneel so nope not a close friendship

[tiswhatyouwill]

Lolly lady

He had always had an obsession with lolly pops. He always had one and if he wasn't eating one then there were three on call ready to be devoured. When he was a kid it was comfort from his parents arguing. He could sit there at dinner and enjoy sucking on the little round candy and ignore them. When he got older it became weird for a little boy to always have a lolly pop or wear dresses so he changed the only thing he could. He became a she. That was a lot easier. He became very good at it and his obsession became some thing people liked. Sexy was what they started saying to her in high school. She learned to giggle. Her dad wasn’t there any more and her mom seemed to like having some one to take shopping with her. In fact the two were very close. They were like true best friends. Not in the weird obsessive way mothers and daughters usually were best friends. Neither worshiped the other. They didn't even use the names assigned to them her conception. Mom was simply Sam and Roy was Lilliy. The hormones weren't hard and they moved when the dad died so on one at school knew her as Roy. She was the beauty of the school and her only bully were the jealous little boys and girls who couldn't handle her perfection. She strictly avoided dating though. She claimed religion but it was her fear of discovery that she wasn't actually quite the girl she said she was. The lolly pops never went away though. They were her symbol. they were what allowed her to be silent when she didn't want to talk and a little bit of comfort when ever the situation got rough.   It was a particularly difficult Latin translation and sucking on some thing always helped her concentrate. The biggest guy  on the foot ball ream, or really the biggest guy in the whole school Rounded the corner and grinned wildly when he saw her. It was the kind of grin a hunter makes when their prey stands in the open and has no idea there was an attack coming. That was some thing he did frequently when they made eye contact. She gave removed the lolly pop with a loud pop sound and said hello sweetly though her edge of annoyance was obvious. He didn't seem to mind.  “I heard you haven’t said yes to any one for prom even though its tonight”  “Yes things are said all the time. Props to you for being able to hear” He laughed at her attempt to insult him “I know why too”   To that she quirked an eyebrow “I though my reasons were quite obvious. I dont date.”   He made a tisk tisk sound and sat next to her, a little too close. “And I don’t use steroids.”  His sarcasm almost made her laugh because it was an absurd statement. Everyone knew he took testosterone and a slew of other drugs to help him bulk up. He had bragged about it before gym class one day and even flashed his buddy the syringes. Lilly caught a gimps of it form where she was standing.  “Some of us are more honest then others.” She said and pretended to go back to her Latin translation.  He seemed amused “you lie as much as i do. You date. You Just need the right man.” There was an odd sarcastic edge to that tone and Lilly looked up in time to see his face right next to hers. He pretended to kiss the edge of her jaw and she held her breath. Her cheeks filled with blood and she set the book down to hide the other place blood was going.  He laughed and whispered “Of course maybe  you are just hiding some thing.” he whispered in her ear and very quickly removed her latin text book. She would have thought her hands were holding it with a death but with the ease of which he took the book no one would ever have known. It sent her candy across the hall where is shattered aginst the floor. She was too saddened at the loss of her candy do notice the slight bolge of her pants. The boy grinned like a hunter with prey about to be devoured and teasingly nibbled her hear in a way that made her forget to breath. “So prom. I will pick you up from your place at 6.” He stood before she could respond and left the book where he had been sitting. She still couldn't remember how to breather completely and was still stairing at him as some one rounded the corner. She startled realizing what was easily see but didn’t have time to panic as the foot ball player was already pulling to the student and pulling the kid in the other direction and going on about how toe coach needs some one help fill all the doge balls. 

It took her several minutes to calm her self and process what had happened. She didn't even know the guys name. Harvey or some thing like that. Why though. If he knew what she was hiding was he going to humiliate her? It had to be it. He wanted her to go with him and then in front of everyone he was going to tell everyone. Buy why make her go as his date. Wouldn’t people call him gay if he did brought her as his date? She finally decided he was doing it for status. She was asked by at least 10 different guys including the foot ball teams captain. He must have just needed a date that bad. Though it wasn’t like he wasn’t handsome. He was the biggest guy on the team though not just by bulk. he was tall and covered in lean muscle. sh vaguely remembered hearing about him doing hip hop dance. So if he was lacking in a date it was his choice. Maybe there was a bet about who could get her to go with her.  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful though she was nervous about the night to come and it was only made worse by the fact that her last lolly pop was laying shattered in the second floor English wing. She texted her mom to pick more up on her way home. However when she got home she found a police car out front and not her moms car. A police officer was sitting across a coffee table from her mother. He was trying to look stern. When Lilly came in the officer turned to her but her mom spoke first “Lilly! How was school” Like nothing weird was going on. Truthfully it wasn’t that weird but she eyed the officer like he was suspicious. “Oh don’t worry. I pulled me over for speeding and i was just a tad too far from home. Officer Louis was kind enough to take me home fro the station.”  The officer sighed “If you keep breaking the terms of house arrest they will make you serve the rest of your sentence in a prison. This isn’t a joke.” “I was running just a little late. No one is going to put me in jail for tht.” She said brightly. “No they will put you in jail for murder.” He said harshly. He was tired of her not taking anything seriously.  Sam’s face darkened immediately and the officer started to appoligize and stumbled for a moment over words “Look you two deserve better but you need to take this seriously. I still have to obey the law and you only have two more slip ups before I have no choice but arrest you for real.  Lilly frowned at the pair of adults “Yes officer she knows. Rubbing it in her face wont chance anything. Some people just deal with stress by smiling and saying harsh things to a troubled woman wont help her. She wont brake the rules again. But if you can excuse us I have a dance to get ready for.”  He cleared his throat awkwardly; not use to being scolded some one so young but not having the heart to get mad about it. He stood to leave “So long as you make sure of it.” He said nodding to the woman in question and left.   Lilly laughed aloud and her mother joined her. “One of these days he will come back to marry you.” Lilly say by her mom and shrugged her back back to the seat beside her. “Did you call a tow truck for the car?”     Same palled suddenly “I said you could use it to go to your dance?!” Lilly laughed “Don’t worry, I have a date picking me up.” She let the skepticism show in her voice and with only a slight prompt she told Sam about what happened.  Sam tried to sound as skeptical as Lilly was about the date. But she was all to eager to add in “Maybe he is just gay and-” she was cut off by a glare from Lilly. But she glared back and continued “What harm could there be. You like him-” Another glare “And he didn't actually assault you did he?”  Lilly blushed and remembered the ear nibble. “He did kind of."   Her mom got very serious suddenly and there was a very rear bout of her mother acting like a mother coming.  “Lilly you have avoided dating up until this point so I haven really talked to you about this.” Lilly frowned at the prospect of ‘the talk’ but her her mother was owed a few mom talks every once in a while and Lilly would listen. So she stared blankly at Sam and waited.  Same rolled her eyes and continued “If he made you uncomfortable and your didn’t like it.” Lilly scoffed at the implication that she could have done anything but dislike it. The way you scoff when some one accuses you of stealing the last cookie. “then you cannot go with him tonight. You need to stand up for your self especially sense he gave you a veiled  threat.” She paused and thought for a moment. “No one has the right to do that to you. You need to be strong and not let him. If you don’t like it then don’t let him do it.” She paused “But it is okay to like it. You are allowed to be attracted to anyone and if that’s the case be honest about it. Don’t let any one push you but be honest about things you do want. That is the condition of not letting people push you. You have to push your self to the place you want to be but are uncomfortable about wanting. You need to firmly say no to what you don’t want and to firmly say yes to what you do want.” Sam had succeeded in thoroughly confusing her daughter.  “So what are you saying I should do. If it was a veiled threat then I cant just do what he wants me to do because that’s pushing me? But If I want to go it suddenly doesn't matter that he threatened to expose me?”  Sam paused and thought about it for a moment. “I think that he is a teenager and bad communicating what he means. He could have been meaning to imply that if you dont go then he will tell other people or he could have just been trying to show you that he was okay with it and that you don’t need to keep it a secret from him.”  “How do I know which he meant?” Lilly was feeling exasperated buy the conversation and wished desperately for some a lolly to nibble through her confusion.  “I don’t think you can know. I think that you have to act on what you feel and prepare for the worst. If you like him then go. Worst case he IS using you for status or to win a bet in which case you get a bad date. And if you dont like him and you go then so what if he tells other people? he has no proof and you are the loveliest lady, no one will believe him. And if anyone does believe him then I home school you through the last semester and we will move to California with my sister. There is a huge LGBTQ movement there where you dont need to pretend anything.” A suggestion made before and an eventually sense all the colleges she applied to were in California. Though her mother house arrest made it harder but the federal government actually asked her to move before so she was with her sister. Some thing about having a more stable enviornment.  “So I go?” Lilly finally asked  “Do you like him?” Sam retorted Lilly glared again  “I guess i should get ready then.” And so she did, with sam to help her like a best friend any high schooler would to giggle the night away with. It was exactly 6 when the door bell rang. Lilly was putting the last pin in her hair. She wore her long dark hair in an elaborate not around her head with dozens of sparkling pins to make her hair look like it was lightly dusted in snowflakes. Her dress was a pale blue that fit the contour of her breasts and waist like a glove. It flared just below the waist into a silky silver waterfall that flowed gracefully around her with every step.  The front was shorter and showed up to her knees while the back trailed lightly on the ground. When she emerged from her bedroom her mother had already and was making some veiled threats of her own. Harvey or what ever his name was did look a little shaken which was an odd sight as he stool almost a foot and a half over the two women. Lilly cleared her throat after a moment and Sam grinned at Lilly “ Lilly! You didn’t tell me Henry was such a gentleman.” Lilly caught that Sam had saved her the awkwardness of asking her date what his name was.  “He is my Date Sam, flirting wont help.” Sam giggled as if she weren't in her early 30s. Henry looked a little like he was drowning and Lilly had a moment of wondering if this was the same person who so boldly demanded her to come to prom with him. “Shall we?” Same looked grateful as he nodded yes and promised to take care of Sams daughter though he said daughter a little like a question. Sam was unfazed and wished Lilly a good night making a point that is her if she didn't hear from Lilly every hour she would call the police. As soon as they were in the limo normal smile returned and Lilly felt a little less confident in her choice. Well less confident in her choice to go with a date... more confident in her choice of a dress that did not constrict around her hips. The limo was empty and he made a point of sitting across form her and only smiling like a lion about to pounce. She realized this was an afewl mistake. Of curse he didn't like her. He was going to make a joke of her. Self consciously she tried to make her self as small as possible. He eyed her suspiciously and said with more sincerity they she thought he could “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”  She blushed hard and before she could relay the limo stopped and another guy got into the car. He was another of the foot ball team. This happened 5 times more after that with guys or girls joining. Several were Lilly's friends and she was a lot more comfortable. At several houses they were all pulled out and the parents paraded camera in front of them. And thats how the night continued. It was the fantasy of every teens prom. Everyone was talking of going to the after party when Henery declined and said he had special plans and wiggled his eyebrows. Lilly wasnt too disjointed as she couldnt drink with the hormones she was taking and being around drunk highschoolers when you arent also drunk is no fun. She was however not to sure how these this special plan was Henry was talking about. Once they were all dropped off at a very loud and bright house Lilly asked her date about it. He smiled “It was more of an excuse not to go to their lame party sense we cant drink and I don’t want them to know i cant.” He laughed and she was confused. She quirked an eyebrow at him but he didn't answer. “Come back to my place? Were we can get out of these cloths and get to know each other a little better?” His voice was unexpectedly low and full of suggestion that made her blush “Get to know eachother? she asked with a lot more skepticism then she actually had. She wanted to get to know him in what ever way he was implying.  “Well sure, I don’t think we ever spoke one on one before today. We have lots to talk about.” Lilly sighed in a way that sounded like relief but she was hoping for a more explicit answer “Alright then lets go” she texted sam that she probably woundnt text until morning and that she was fine as the car started off. Sam replied with a winky face.  When Lilly looked up Henry was staring at her and she blushed. He had sat across from her again and she wondered why. “How far do you live” she asked trying to fill the quiet. “Not far, a couple minutes. My parents are home but they dont mind me bring friends over.” He assured her. For the first time she had the good sense to wonder how he knew where she lived and she asked “One of the  girls you had over to study told me.” he laughed like there was some joke behind it.  Lilly wasn’t amused “Why is that so funny?” “She didn't believe I would get you to come is all. And she said your mom acted like a teenager. She was was right about one of those things”  Lilly got the joke knowing that her mother’s eccentricity was some what of joke on it’s own despite how much all her friends adored her mother. “Still rude of her to just give out my address.”  He chuckled again “I told her i was just going to show up and sweep you off your feet. Then she warned me about your mom and said good luck. She said you needed to go on a date and that it would be good for you. Then I saw you in the hall and realized it would he hard to convince you like that in front of your family” Lilly blushed “So you are really okay with?” She looked down and then back at him. His response was to get and half crawl across the seat and straddle her lap. She squeaked at the suddenness of his actions. he placed her hands on her cheeks and looked into her eyes. “Very okay” he said before kissing her and as he did so he ground his pelvis into hers. For a minute she was too blown away by the sensation, the feel of the kiss, the friction between her legs, to notice something was rather odd. There was no bulge to rub against her own. When she did realize what wasn’t there she gasped through the rather passionate kiss and he chuckled at her realization and pulled away and copied her words “So are you really okay with” And he looked down, not just at him self but them together, the wrong parts in the right places. She nodded, rolling her hips up in a way that made him growl lightly. She laughed and realized that for the first there was something far sweeter than a lolly pop she wanted to taste.