#i dont think ive written anything REMOTELY as soft/suggestive as this

[timextoxhajima]

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*SHORT SERIES

Part 2: Frustrated

Member: j u y e o n 

Genre: fluff/romance/LIGHT smut/drama with chaebol/lawyer juyeon, maybe abit of grunge aesthetic feels

Links to other parts:

I Never Wanna See You Again

Frustrated (light smut) 

~

Play With Fire (smut) 

you had both your hands pressed into the sides of your face, trying your best to ignore chanhee. he was doing nothing besides shake the backrest of your chair, jerking you and himself along with the movement.

“yah--” you grab a soft file and roll it up, turning your chair around and swinging it at him. he ducks in, arm in the air as self-defense. “i find it difficult to believe that you’re two years older than me.”

chanhee sulks, shoulders drooping and his eyes turning into those large doe eyes that do nothing but beg. “you said you’ll tell me but it’s been two days and you haven’t.”

“that’s ‘cause i fucking can’t man,” you hiss quietly, trying not to get the attention of the other people in the office. the only other person who’s probably got a good guess of what happened in the last week was sitting right next to you, and he hasn’t said a word since you turned up at work today. 

“at least tell me what you were doing at his place ‘till so late?” chanhee tries to whisper, but you grit your teeth tightly and scrunch up all your facial features when you notice lee jaehyun react to his words. 

chanhee’s hands fly up to his face and covers his mouth as lee jaehyun turns around in his own chair, scanning chanhee’s look of shock. you were afraid to look at lee jaehyun, but you do it anyway. 

you had no clue if your ceo, or lee juyeon, or whatever you were supposed to call him now, had told anybody else about what happened. you spent one night with your ceo, and after he made sure you reached home safely, he hasn’t contacted you since.

but it was alright. he never said ‘i love you’ or asked you to be his girlfriend anyway. 

you were just lucky you left his place with all the information you needed to close the case and that he didn’t fire you for acting like a child in his house or cursing like a billion times in his face. 

lee jaehyun was scanning you from head to toe, and he gives you a smile that confuses chanhee even more. 

oh, god. he knows. 

you wince in agony the moment you understood lee jaehyun’s proud fatherly smile, and you quickly clasp your hands together, silently begging him not to say anything. 

“yah!” chanhee grabs and pen and hurls it at you. “you have to tell me what happened!” 

your vision spans past chanhee’s desk cubicle, and in the distance you see sunwoo and eric’s head pop up from their desks through the transparent parts of the cubicle walls. 

“can you shut the fuck up before sunwoo and eric come over?!” you duck your head and aggressively pull on chanhee’s blazer along with you. 

“i’ll shut up when you tell me what happened!” chanhee hisses back at you, both of you awkwardly ducking in full view of lee jaehyun. 

“isn’t it obvious what happened though?” 

you shut your eyes tightly and groaned, mentally beating yourself up over this entire mess you found yourself in. chanhee processes lee jaehyun’s words, then stares at you with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen on him. 

“DID YOU TWO S--”

“SHHHHHHH!” your hands fly across the space and cover chanhee’s mouth. it takes you a moment to realise that you had pulled chanhee into a headlock, your leg was carelessly swung over his right leg and you looked like you were about to throw him off his own own chair. 

lee jaehyun watches the both of you, entertained. your limbs were tangled up in each other as chanhee struggles to break free from your head lock. 

“chanhee! please, i’m begging you, not another word--”

“about what?”

your eyes look up to see lee jaehyun looking past you at the person standing behind you. he struggles immensely to stifle a wide grin, but you could see it under his reddening ears. 

chanhee breaks free from your hold once your grip loosens at the familiar voice, and he stands up immediately, giving a quick bow to lee juy-- your boss...?

“’not another word’ about what?” he asks again. you stay frozen while looking at jaehyun, whose eyes fluttered between you, chanhee and lee juyeon. you hear chanhee’s hand find the backrest of your chair and he turns you around. you find yourself staring awkwardly at a pair of shoes that you remember seeing in someone’s walk-in wardrobe.

“am i going to need to ask again?” 

sunwoo and eric were already craning their necks to study the commotion when you look around, reluctant to look at your boss. 

how did you get yourself into this mess? are you going to ask him about it? what if he pretends it never happened? he didn’t call you or text you or anything anyway, what if you were just a rant session for him?

“uh--” chanhee tries to kick your chair subtly, but fails. 

“thaaaat...” you open your mouth, begging your mind to cook up some believable excuse. 

“that she watched porn the entire weekend.”

if you could combust into a billion pieces, you would’ve. 

you hear sunwoo and eric burst into soft snickers upon lee jaehyun’s dumb excuse for you. you hide your face in your hands, knowing that there was absolutely no way for you to fix this. 

of all excuses... porn?

“oh,” lee juyeon offers a small laugh. “and here i was expecting something else.”

you sigh heavily, still looking at his shoes. chanhee was trying his best to process the situation, but he obviously doesn’t because he remained silent. 

“anyway, i’d like you,” he points to lee jaehyun. “to come meet me in my office now. and then i’ll see you,” he points to chanhee. “and you.”

you look up at the sudden instruction, taking note of his finger in your face. 

“after he’s done. the two of you can come together.”

you get a good look at him after two days of hearing nothing from him, and you note that he’s in a white button up top and a black blazer. the blue in his hair faded and was slowly turning into a dark, almost-black shade. 

he turns on his heels and walks around eric and sunwoo’s desks, heading for his office. your manager gets the door of his office open just as lee juyeon strides past, and the look on lee sangyeon’s face tells you that he didn’t know his cousin would be coming today.

you watch as he says a few words to lee sangyeon, and he looks back at lee jaehyun, telling him to come over. the familiar silence of the office deafens you as lee juyeon gets the door of his large office open, allowing lee jaehyun and lee sangyeon to enter first.

“oh, and i ordered everyone salad and chicken for lunch today, so someone get the food from the delivery man later at around 12pm in case lee sang yeon or i isn’t available to do so, thanks.”

you rub your temples with your fingers, listening to the door of his office click shut and everybody in the office freaks out in silence. eric and sunwoo rush over to you and chanhee, and they looked like they just won the soccer championships. 

“what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?” sunwoo pushes past chanhee, who was still standing from before, and sits in his chair. eric leans on the wall of the cubicle, hand over his mouth and wide eyes staring at you. the other employees in the office were also whispering to each other, and you couldn’t help but imagine all the horrible things they could’ve been saying.

you were in their shoes just about three weeks ago anyway.

“you better make sure i don’t get fired,” chanhee turns to you and pokes your shin with his shoe. you made a noise of complaint, brushing away the little stain that his shoe left on your stockings. 

“you’re not gonna get fired.”

“how do you know he’s not gonna get fired? how do you know you’re not gonna get fired?” sunwoo blurts out, and chanhee waits for you to respond.

because i slept with him, god damn it.

“i just know,” you stand and pull off your coat, straightening the pastel green button down shirt that was tucked into your office skirt. “trust me for once, will you? when has anything gone wrong if i’m the one handling it?” 

you glare at the three boys, arms folded across your chest. the heels you were wearing boosts you up a few inches, so you were easily at eric’s eye level. 

“she’s got a point,” eric points out, raising a brow at chanhee. 

you shoo the two boys away, leaving chanhee to return to his desk and you to yours. you pull out all the case files, including the sheets with the workings he gave you, and you start compiling the case into your laptop and the system. you always had a knack for switching gears whenever you needed to. 

work was work and personal life was to be kept in separate world. 

it was what gave you the leverage of clearing so many cases. 

you wouldn’t have noticed that your boss’ meeting with lee sangyeon and lee jaehyun had concluded if lee jaehyun didn’t laugh like a maniac on the way out of the office. 

“i’m going to kyoto next week!”

you turn at the announcement, and you watch your manager whack him across the back of his head. 

“is he just giving away holidays now?” you listen to chanhee say. you weren’t sure if it was directed at you or he was just speaking his thoughts. “are we going to get one too?”

probably not. 

lee jaehyun returns to his cubicle, face bright as ever and a few other employees in the office start talking to him over the walls of the cubicles. you turn and watch as eric and sunwoo struggle to grasp a hold of the situation: the office has not been this noisy or lively since the four of you started working here. 

chanhee whirls around on his chair, and he looks like he just met a ghost. 

“stop it,” you spit, getting to your feet and pulling him up. “you’ll be fine, i promise.”

gently knocking on the door, you watch the vague shadow shift around in the office. you turn to chanhee, still looking like he just met the nun from the conjuring. 

“come in.”

you push the door open, and pull chanhee along with you. 

lee juyeon was carefully rearranging some items on the desk that you were sure weren’t there previously. 

was he decorating his office now?

“oh, sit. the both of you,” he gestures to the two chairs opposite his, striding to his seat while you continue to drag chanhee along to mirror your movements. he was about to speak when he notices chanhee’s white complexion, and a small, embarrassed smile appears on his lips. “chanhee, are you okay?”

“am i getting fired--”

you hear chanhee hiccup as he asks the question, and you wince at the second-hand embarrassment. lee juyeon laughs and leans back in his seat, waving his hand at chanhee. 

“no, you’re not getting fired,” he props himself up while leaning on one of the arm rests of the chair. “but i am here to be honest with you, and to ask of you a favour. i would totally say ‘as your boss’, but i don’t want play the authority game.”

your eyes widen at his words, and you squint them at lee juyeon. 

are you crazy?!

chanhee slowly nods after a few moments of awkward stillness, and he glances at you in the corners of his eyes. 

“the reason why everybody outside is acting like they are at a party right now is because lee jaehyun has won a bet with me. a bet that if one of you figures out that i’m a lawyer, and i lost.”

you angle your head just enough to check chanhee’s face, and you wish you had your phone with you. it would’ve been such a worthy meme shot if you weren’t the reason why you were stuck in this informal meeting. 

“and judging by the conversation the both of you had with lee jaehyun this morning, i’m sure you must have questions about last week when you called her,” he points to you with a pen. “and i picked up.”

you gulp, wondering why your heart won’t stop pounding. 

“i’m not going to lie, it was a bad time.”

you groan and sigh loudly, burying your face into your hands with your elbows on the desk. you hear chanhee’s breathing stop for a moment, and it urges you to look at him again. 

“so... the both of you--”

“slept together, yes. lee jaehyun guessed it even before i told him just now, and that’s why he was spitting all that nonsense about her watching porn. he was just trying to tease me, i hope you weren’t too uncomfortable.”

what in the world is he doing...

“oh, no, i’m not uncomfortable,” you hear a tinge of mischief in chanhee’s voice and you snap your head to glare at him. “i’m just surprised about how honest you are with... this.”

your forehead was now flat against the desk, and your eyes were sealed tight.

what the hell is even happening now...

“well, i’m not planning on telling anybody else. you’re here because i hope you can do me the favour of keeping it yourself. you caught us red-handed, so i thought it’ll better if i was honest with you. i don’t want my employees to harbour any distrust against me, especially after they caught me doing something i’m not really supposed to be doing.”

you gently ram your forehead into the table twice.

“i understand. your secret is safe with me, mr...?”

“just call me juyeon. we’re the same age and i want us to be comfortable. i don’t bother too much about being the ceo, so work with me, not for me.”

chanhee reaches out and shakes his hand. 

“now, the office can’t know who was the newbie who found out i’m a lawyer, and i’m pretty sure your two friends have already found out about the bet given the noisy situation outside. if they find out it’s her, then her reputation might be at stake. so if anybody asks you why you were called into my office, just inform them that it’s about the case you dropped for me and her to work on together. lee jaehyun and lee sangyeon have been told to keep their mouths sealed about her and last friday, so you only need to worry about not telling anybody which newbie was the one who found out.”

the day happens as he said it would. your senior colleagues were digging their way through the newbies, trying to find out which one figured it out and caused the ceo, the lead lawyer, to lose to lee jaehyun in a bet. 

sunwoo and eric lacked too much information to understand anything, so their genuine confusion was consistently called bluff by your colleagues. 

when lunch was here, everybody was brought into a separate conference room that strangely reminded you of the dining room in his house. he sits on the opposite end near the other employees and catches up with them, while lee jaehyun and lee sangyeon join you and the three boys. 

“if you don’t mind me asking,” lee jaehyun picks at the chicken cubes in his box. 

wait-- eric and sunwoo don’t know.

chanhee’s eyes widen, his hand hurriedly stretching out, in need of stopping lee jaehyun before he says anything--

“how was he?”

you choke on your salad, and chanhee starts to laugh-cry. your manager takes a a napkin and hurls it at lee jaehyun. sunwoo and eric had frowns and looks of confusion on their faces as they turn to you.

lee jaehyun notices that he fucked up, and he covers his mouth with his hand.

“oh, no. i’m sorry. i didn’t know they don’t kno--”

eric grabs your arm and yanks you towards them, their eyeballs threatening to fall out of their sockets as they nearly spit on you when they connect the dots themselves.

“ʸᵒᵘ ˢˡᵉᵖᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᶜᵉᵒˀᵎ” 

chanhee pulls them back and slaps their hands to release you, nodding at them aggressively before telling them to shut up. 

you spend the rest of lunch desperately trying to hide your embarrassment, not only from your own friends, but your senior colleague and your own manager. 

besides lunch being a whole obstacle course, the day went on as usual. it took you and your friends awhile to get used to the true, lively spirit of the office, now that the bet was done with and the ceo (who turned out to be friends with everybody else in office) was back.

lee juyeon was the first to leave, and he was already making calls even as he was leaving his office. it doesn’t surprise you, now knowing that he probably had other business at hand to take care of. 

eric, sunwoo and chanhee leave the office, initially wanting to drag you along with them to bowl. you decline the offer, the determination to finish up on the case stronger than the temptation to run off to watch them do something stupid.

lee sangyeon and lee jaehyun leave the office last, leaving you behind. they can’t help but to tease you a little before leaving, calling you their “sister-in-law” as they left. 

sister-in-law my ass.

he hasn’t even spoken to me in a one-to-one conversation since he screwed my brains out on his sofa. 

nonetheless, you wave to them as they leave, and you lean your head against the backrest of the chair. your eyes naturally close after a whole day of staring at the same case. you pondered about the fact that you and chanhee would’ve been drowning by now if lee juyeon hadn’t taken up the case...

you jerk awake, as you normally do, when you feel someone’s touch on your cheek. your eyes adjust to the light from your desk, the only source of illumination, before you process your ceo standing next to you in your chair. 

he had been changed out and he was now wearing a cap, a comfortable pullover with the letters ‘LV’ printed on the front and jeans. 

“uh--” you stammer, hurriedly sitting up and brushing your hair aside. 

“why didn’t you leave with chanhee and the others? it’s late and your last meal was the salad and chicken from lunch.”

you comb your hair with your fingers, clearing your throat and reaching for the sheets of paper strewn about on your desk. your heart was racing and you couldn’t feel your toes despite your heels being carelessly thrown aside under the table. 

he senses your discomfort and awkwardness, remaining silent while he looks around at your work space.

“come on, you’re done for today. i got mrs jung to prepare a simple meal before she left... i guessed you’d be staying till late working on the case,” you feel him pulling your chair backwards. he squats down before you, and for the first time, you were literally looking down at him. 

the shadow that the cap casts on his face prevents you from seeing his eyes, so your first instinct was to reach out and remove it.

unfortunately, he stops you, and disappointment rushes through your veins at the assumption that he no longer wanted to be so intimately connected with you. 

“i’m sorry, i--”

you were cut off when he abruptly pulls your chair forward, kissing you gently. 

you didn’t even know you missed the taste of him until it happened. you lose all your bearings and let yourself melt into his warmth, his fingers finding your chin and it was like the kiss could last forever.

you feel him pull away, but your eyes take some time to open because it truly felt like a dream. 

“i wanted to apologise for disappearing over the weekend. i wanted to invite you over the next day, but something cropped up with my family and the other businesses they have and i was needed,” he stands up and helps clear your table, keeping all your case files into your suitcase. “and i didn’t want to be seen talking to you one-to-one today. it’s a small office, so once word gets around, i could drag you down and you’d suffer more than i would.”

he picks up your suitcase and pulls your coat off the chair, holding it out for you. 

it’s almost like every time he fools you into thinking he’s just messing with you, he turns up with some heartbreaking reason that you couldn’t be mad with him about. 

you take the coat with a small smile and slip on your heels. you were afraid to even hold his hand or maintain physical contact, but he interlocks his fingers with yours without even looking back at you while he shuts off all the electricity in the office. 

he pulls you out of the gantry, obviously excited that he finally gets to spend time with you. the night shift security guard calls out to him, and you were pleasantly surprised at the exchange between him and the guard.

“juyeon-sshi! is that your girlfriend?!” 

“ne~ isn’t she pretty?”

you look back at him in shock, unable to stop a wide grin from appearing on your lips. 

“gorgeous!” the guard responds. “goodnight, juyeon-sshi!”

“goodnight! see you tomorrow and don’t tell anybody else about my girlfriend!” juyeon gets the door of the building open and lets you out first, giving the guard one last wave before getting himself out as well. 

you get into the same Porsche you were in last friday while he leaves your suitcase in the backseat. you try your best to wipe the smile off your face, but he just called you pretty and his girlfriend in like, 5 seconds. 

then it hits you.

he hasn’t even formally asked you. 

he gets into the drivers’ seat, and you watch as his hands wrap around the steering wheel, amused that his fingers exceed the complete circumference of the equipment. 

“you good to go?” he looks at you, finally removing his cap and tossing it into the backseat. 

you nod, giving him a small smile. 

by the time you were at the dining table, you were short of losing your last strand of reality when he was busy serving you. 

he got you the same slippers you wore the last time you were here, he gets you settled at the table and he runs off to prepare the food the mrs jung prepared, and he runs off again to find another bottle of wine to open.

this man...

he doesn’t stop there though. after the meal, he runs a bath for you in his ridiculously over-sized bathtub that, believe it or not, had the glass panel windows beyond the tub. 

there was a soft jazz tune playing somewhere in the house, and accompanied with the sloshing of the water in the tub, it was difficult to believe that any of this was real. 

he catches you looking down below your feet at the city lights, careful not to press your face into the glass. you feel his arms snake around your waist over the robe he provided you before you changed out of your office wear, and he rests the side of his face on your temple.

he pecks your temple and turns you around, eyes continuously admiring your face and he doesn’t resist the need to kiss you on the lips again.

“i don’t need to remind you that you need to say something if you’re uncomfortable with any of this, right?” he pulls away and looks down at you through his hair.

you shake your head, taking the initiative to untie the knot around his waist, providing yourself the gorgeous view of his collarbones and chest and everything else. 

you catch a glimpse of his shyness and it makes you laugh a little. by undoing your own robe, you offer him comfort by kissing him again, this time making them a little rougher and needier. you completely forget that the glass panels behind you would’ve exposed your ass to the world, but you could only guess why it was on the highest level where there were nearly no other buildings that came up as high. 

the water smelled like lavender, and you were leaning back against his chest while he plants kisses on your ear, neck and shoulder. your hands were interlocked with his under the water, and it didn’t matter if your fingers were pruning because of the duration you’ve been in it. 

all that mattered was that this felt real, and you were so scared none of it was.

“juyeon,” you call out quietly, hand caressing the surface of the water. 

“mm?” he hums, removing his lips from your skin and pushing the little strands of hair to your other shoulder. 

“did you mean it when you called me your girlfriend back at the office?”

you feel his movements stop completely, and you turn your head to look at him. panic arises in your chest and you worry if you’ve just said something wrong. he looks at you, hair stuck to his forehead and he pushes it back, exposing his forehead. 

you try with much difficulty not to swoon at how good he looks, but you remind yourself that you might’ve just fucked up whatever was going on between the two of you. 

“juye--”

“i meant it.”

his eyes travel from staring at the water to yours. 

“i’ve been wanting to ask you the entire time since i saw you at the office, and i had this grand plan to ask you formally... but i messed up when i announced it to the security guard... and i don’t know why i lost the courage to say anything before getting into the tub with you.”

again with that heartbreaking speech.

a giggle escapes your lips as you turn away, knowing that you laughing would most likely hurt his pride as a ceo and as your boss. 

“ah... can you not laugh at a time like this? i know i’m a wuss, alright? no need to laugh and rub it in my face.”

you hear him whine, and the tone was so unfamiliar, it takes you awhile to absorb it. you make a decision in your heart, suddenly so sure that you wanted him for yourself, so sure that despite not knowing the bare minimum about him, that this was real. 

no mind games, but something true.

was it too fast? maybe. 

but the level of comfort between the two of you was just astronomical. 

it was difficult to ignore.

you swish around the tub, awkwardly lifting your legs so they were on both sides of his hips and you were now facing him. the water barely covers your chest, so you lean forward a little and he looks at you with uncertainty.

“ask me now then.”

“what? no! it’s so lame and un-classy and--”

“i might say no if you don’t ask me now,” you tilt your head to the side, like a puppy. he laughs in disbelief, tongue swiping across his teeth as he looks away for a moment. 

you suck your lips between your teeth, trying to hide a smile at his reaction. 

he looks at you with his signature corner-of-the-eye look, and you see the very moment he realises that he’s been completely bought over by you. 

“okay,” he pulls you closer to him, and he pulls your legs around his waist so that you were sitting on his (bare) lap. 

“y/n, would you do me the honour of being mine?”

there was absolutely no way you could’ve hidden the happiness that swamped you whole, and you pull his face towards yours. hair stuck to your shoulders and his arms around your waist, you bury your lips between his. 

“if i didn’t know better, i’d say you sounded like you just proposed.” you pull away, gently wiping the droplets of water from his cheek and chin. 

“i totally would, but you’re not ready for that yet.”

you sense the mischief and... provocation in his voice.

“not ready for what, may i ask?” your arms were around his neck as you lean back a little. 

“well,” he shoots you a dirty look, hands travelling up your back and pushing you forwards. “that’s up to your own interpretation.”

Part 4: Play With Fire 

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username​ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him 

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic 

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book  on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked 

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing 

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in 

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person 

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating? 

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you, 

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

no

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why 

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories 

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc 

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched 

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway, 

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist 

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed 

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

no

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying 

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside 

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you 

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly 

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time 

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,, 

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME