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cainegl · 6 years ago

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welcome back angels , tODAY we’re gonna be truly shunning the psycho pretty boy , caine , don’t show any affection to him whatsoever bc his fuckass doesnt deserve it ! i probably won’t b around for interactions tonight but thats ok bc my goal anyways was to get plots laid out w everyone before i jumped into writing ! i love u all genuinely so much and hopefully , caine’s satanic ass gives u a fun time w hating him , i know i sure as hell do :’)

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 !

𝖋𝖚𝖑�� 𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊 : caine giovanni bratton 𝖓𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖘 : he mostly gets called by his surname considering ‘ caine ’ is rather un-riffable 𝖇𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖍𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖊 / 𝖆𝖌𝖊 : october 29 , 1996 𝖟𝖔𝖉𝖎𝖆𝖈 : scorpio 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖞 / 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖘 : cismale identifying with he / him / his 𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 : closeted bisexual and biromantic 𝖔𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 : former leftfielder for the boston red sox , now a fashion model and ceo / chairhead of his own fashion brand supreme 𝖍𝖔𝖌𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖊 : slytherin 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖞 : billy hargrove from stranger things , roman godfrey from hemlock grove , kanye west , cook from skins , tony stark & erik killmonger from the mcu , patrick bateman from american psycho 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘 : — machiavellian , brutal , crass , narcisistic , manipulative + opportunistic , intuitive , thrives under pressure , straightforward

𝖉 𝖎 𝖘 𝖘 𝖊 𝖗 𝖙 𝖆 𝖙 𝖎 𝖔 𝖓

* born to a hamptons housewife and the ceo of a major sports marketing firm , the dark haired devil had a rather unremarkable upbringing . entitled as expected , manipulative and cunning , caine knew what people wanted to hear and was sure to tell them in his honeyed lilt if it were in his favor for later exploitation . average in school and below average in looks for most of his life , there was a definite cruelty doled out to him throughout his experience in the most prestigious private schools daddy’s money could afford ( not that his less than welcoming personality made things any easier on himself . ) it was his transition into sports , particularly baseball , that pulled him into the direction of finally accomplishing something other than winning asshole of the year defacements under his yearbook picture . with that , caine found that his hostility didn’t have to be negated , but rather selective — if the male could pick and choose his battles , he’d find himself much further along in his desires than through brute force alone .

and so , with precision focus and the bratton determination that becomes indicative of his brand , he rebuilds . high school finds their star fieldsman as a freshman with a newly regained understanding of how to schmooze people , dripping magnetism through well timed smiles or pretentious humble brags . as if taken over by a well-trained debutante overnight , caine found himself with a newfound power over those around him and a faked charm that propelled him to new hights , and with a level of athletic talent to his name that nobody could doubt , he was easily gaining ground and recognition throughout his hometown of manhattan . with puberty catapulting him through his senior year , caine bratton’s photo-ready grin and laser focus on his goals at hand made him something of a pseudo-celebrity , the first taste of recognition that he quickly becomes addicted to . colleges fight tooth and nail to offer manhattan’s pretty boy slugger an offer he cant refuse , eventually sending caine off to duke university to become one of the top ranked college baseball players in the nation . practically feeding off the chaos of his newfound lifestyle , he thrives at the party school and cements his name into nearly every east coast household — building a following of both sports fans and general thirst follows alike .

obsessed with his father’s opinion , caine heeds his word with furthering his brand and takes on carefully selected sponsors , always ensuring they’re for modeling gigs that won’t jeopardize his student athlete contract . he graduates early ( thanks to a particularly notable set of “ tutors “ his dad hired ) with a business degree and as first pick for the MLB draft that following june . after a stellar year pushing the minnesota twins out of the bottom of their league rankings , caine gets signed to the boston red sox with one of the most expensive fieldsman contracts in history . modeling gigs and sponsorships flood the 20 year old with a force even he couldn’t have expected , fueling the narcissism years in the making . he’s well liked by the media— a man’s man , charming , arrogant but within reason , knowing the exact line to drop for the exact reaction he wants . caine spends the next two seasons with the world exactly where he wants them , manipulating his way into and our of every situation his heart could desire .

one thing he can’t control is a devastating complete tear of his rotator cuff during a particularly high pressure world series game , one that completely shatters his chances of finishing the season and just about decimates the rest of his career . the surgeries are GRUELING and the rehabilitation is even worse , leaving caine with far too much free time on his hands and increasingly nasty cracks his perfect pretty boy facade . a bittersweet highlight of the year , conflicting for a multitude of reasons , is the revelation from an on-and-off fling of his that caine is to become a father , sending much of the world ( including himself ) into a shock . expectant on the arrival of his daughter , left without a clear career trajectory , caine finds himself spiraling into what becomes his black hole , ultimately culminating in him beating the shit out of some random drunk guy on the street trying to get a rise out of him and landing him with a civil case . while the charges were ultimately dropped , the former golden boy was undoubtedly in shreds , attracting all the wrong attention , chasing destruction wherever it offered itself — and thus , piquing the interest of one papa legba .

caine’s predisposition for destruction and chaos , satanic in the closest sense of the word with a perfect photo-op smile , made him a champion for the causes papa legba piloted . the demon king found itself with a harbinger of sorts , a machiavelli-reincarnate who was beginning to attract the worst of the celebrity sphere into his circle . it wasn’t difficult to recruit caine into his unsavory doings , repairing his shoulder with a ‘ groundbreaking new muscle regeneration therapy , ‘ but rather than allow him to rest on his laurels in the mlb , he offers caine a proposition . ‘ why set your sights on the horizon , when the whole damn world could be yours ? ‘ and with that , his new cherub kaia toted in the crook of his former bad arm , supreme drops after months of hype and launches caine bratton from baseball tragedy to fashion empire mogul . ever leaning into his newfound infamy due to his increasingly volatile outbursts , his brand is building speed at unfathomable rates , with his brain at the helm and papa legba’s influence behind it , and caine is relishing in the new world he’s creating for himself — regardless of the price .

𝖉 𝖎 𝖘 𝖘 𝖊 𝖈 𝖙 𝖎 𝖔 𝖓

icb u made it this far and if u did so without skimming ? u a real one 😩✊🏽 sksksk so real TALK , caine is the literal worst so pls dont hesitate to make him the villain in any plot u so desire . he’s intelligent but not to an excess , but is incredibly business savvy , knowing an opportunity when he sees one and fucking POUNCING on it . this plays off his INCREDIBLE fucking manipulation skills , the man will see an in and exploit it to no end in a way thats ? equal parts terrifying and lowkey impressive ? side note he takes everything seriously , esp himself and his daughter , and isn’t abt to let any idiot drive his empire into the ground . the man is genuinely convinced he can take over the world at this point , w papa legba fueling his lil psycho ass , and is gonna probably stop at nothing until he’s reached his peak . he’s destructive and has absolutely caused a fourth his staff to quit with his office meltdowns where he goes the FUCK off but ppl can’t say he doesn’t have an incredible vision and a cutthroat determination to accomplish it . he’s in that weird sweet spot where he’s obnoxious and arrogant as shit bc he knows he’s a big ole successful pretty boy that ppl want to please but he also has that classic ‘ i grew up rich ‘ disposition that means he knows when to fake it ? ( on that note , he’d make a PHENOMENAL fake bf 👀 for the clout ) also an awful boyfriend , has prob cheated on every person he’s ever dated and def cheated on his baby mama but makes it a point to be an incredible dad to his kid bc she’s the only tie to his humanity / soft side he really lets influence him . his defining features are his absolute narcissism and volatile desire to be the absolute best at what he does , as well as a laser focus that doubles as one of his greatest points of admiration . he’s ABSOLUTELY a tool but to his credit he can be deeply intimidating , i imagine he’s one of those guys with just incredibly strong eye contact to the point it freaks ppl out and that reaction always makes him LAUGH .

hc’s : ultimate peak caine look is a supreme t shirt under a black leather jacket n some saint laurent chelsea boots PHEW , he wears sunglasses inside w out hesitating , thinks kaia is a ~superbaby~ and is NOT afraid to tell u how much fucking smarter she is than ‘ normal babies , ‘ he has a sponsorship w a fucking bougie expensive ass teeth whitening brand and they’ve insured his smile for an UNREASONABLE sum of money , a big mood for him w how busy he is would b a hurried hookup in the back seat of his limo with led zeppelin blasting over the speakers , his office has one of those balcony golf sets except its full golf and not mini putt so his ass will get PISSED and just . shoot fucking golf balls off the side of the building not caring who’s car they dent two blocks away SKSKKSKS

𝖉 𝖊 𝖘 𝖎 𝖗 𝖊 𝖘

UM quick plots , basically im heavily searching for the mother to his child , kaia who would be about a year and a half rn , i wanted them to have an incredibly tumultuous back and forth relationship bc lbr caine is not a great person but he is a spectacular dad so it’s a catch-22 for anyone involved skskkss

also looking for his “ in my head “ by ari type ex ? i did not name this mans CAINE for nothing cmon now kids

i would fucking LOVE more than anything to have ppl who work with him in any extent ? it could be models who rep the brand and he flirts incessantly with , it could be influencers who have a partnership w him and see his business side , it could be people w ambition who work for his company and see his NASTY side but pls , supreme inc is open to any and everything .

chaos squad , hookups , party friends , athletic rivals , ride or dies , ppl who SOMEHOW tolerate him , ppl who proudly do not tolerate him at all , maybe even the dude he punched in the street that one time ? also cousins , childhood friends , on and offs , HELLA exes , ppl he torments , close as siblings relationships , maybe someone he’s kinda soft for but will never admit ?

#glitt:intros #tbt !#my ass ? SPENT #like this for plots and we can hit him n markie up all at once ! :)))

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hallelujuh · 8 years ago

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hello yes i just finished lord of the flies (and then watched the 1963 movie immediately afterwards) & i rlly luv piggy so im gonna yell abt Just Piggy Things™ even if no one cares

piggy’s the first character we’re introduced to, after ralph ofc, so that means we’re supposed to get attached, and boy did i get attached..

ass-mar

the fact that he’s been called mean nicknames so long that his real name doesnt matter to him?? he doesnt care what hes called?? poor thing wtf??? hes like eleven hes too little for this

the Flashing Anime Glasses. especially the one w the fire when he starts laughing maniacally. same.

im talking about: “then he laughed so strangely that they were hushed, looking at the flash of his spectacles in astonishment.”

also: “’i got the conch,’ said piggy, in a hurt voice. ‘i got a right to speak.’” let him speak hes the only damn reasonable one. also stop hurting him hes been hurt enough goddamnit

k but how much he loves ralph? and ralph is annoyed by him??? but then later he confides in him & cries over him & their friendship is my fav in the book so. they bond it just takes a while. but piggy was always good to ralph awe

“i was with him when he found the conch. i was with him before anyone else was.” he finally made a friend dont u take him from him ;-;

k speaking of the conch, in the first movie, his laugh when ralph’s blowing the horn for the first time??? aw??? a rare moment of joy in that sad ass movie??

‘63!film piggy is the sweetest & cutest i lob him. ‘90!film piggy was annoying as shit tho i refuse to talk about him.

in the ‘63!film when he puts his hands on his hips when jack says “shut up fatty” and then hides behind the tree when they all laugh at him.

god in the book it’s easy to forget theyre actual babies but with the movie u cant possibly forget and theyre so cute but defenseless it’s so sad

i kno these actors r like 70 or dead now but i wanna go back in time & give them a hug. especially piggy cuz hes a pouty chubby bub gOD IM SO SAD

one last note on the film before i get back to the book: the movie rlly encompassed how awkward i imagined piggy to be & i luv that. also his story time abt camberly was adorable + educational (for me, anyway)

how hurt he is when ralph tells the other boys his name, poor thing ugh :(

“’let him have the conch!’ shouted piggy. ‘let him have it!’” yes stand up for poor lil mulberry child

“piggy knelt by him, one hand on the great shell, listening and interpreting to the assembly.” hes so fuckin sweet??? hes like the mom of the island hes so nice to the littluns i luv him

and when he gets upset over the mulberry boy probably bein killed in the fire :’( hes the most sensible and the most empathetic of all the other boys. what a cinnamon roll. unproblematic fav. true neutral. 10/10. the best boy.

my second favorite line in the whole book: “then, with the martyred expression of a parent who has to keep up with the senseless ebullience of the children, he picked up the conch, turned toward the forest, and began to pick his way over the tumbled scar.” tired mama piggy lmao

he wants to make a sundial?? hes so smart aw

piggy thinking ralph’s patronizing smile was a friendly one :( :( he just wants a friendddd hes so naive & sweet im sadddd

i think it’s implied most of the other boys (particularly the choir boys & ralph) are from a nicer, more upper class part of england, &, despite his intelligence, piggy’s more lower class, judging by his cockney-esque accent (his use of ‘them’ instead of ‘those’, etc.) and also “piggy was an outsider, not only by accent, which did not matter…” idk why this is cute i dunno

“piggy arrived, out of breath and whimpering like a littlun.” me in pe. but also poor thing ;-;

“piggy sniveled and simon shushed him as though he had spoken too loudly in church.” i interpreted shushed as, like, consoled, more than, like, ‘quit crying, ya baby’, which was more what he was doing, but still…first of many cute piggy & simon interactions. i’d ship them but theyre like twelve so nah. but they cute as buddies

“this was too bitter for piggy, who forgot his timidity in the agony of his loss. he began to cry out, shrilly: ‘you and your blood, jack merridew! you and your hunting! we might have gone home-’” this hurts because if jack hadn’t gone hunting, they may have been rescued before simon or piggy died :( :( :( horrible vague foreshadowing

simon getting piggy’s glasses for him when jack throws em ;-;

simon giving his piece of meat (not a euphemism, goddamnit) to piggy.. god simons so sweet hes my second fav

“only, decided ralph as he faced the chief’s seat, i can’t think. not like piggy…he could go step by step inside that fat head of his, only piggy was no chief. but piggy, for all his ludicrous body, had brains.” why does ralph resent piggy sm. it’s like it psychically hurts him to compliment him, even just in his own head. jeez. just cuz someones fat doesnt mean they cant be smart?? the 50s were weird

“piggy came and stood outside the triangle. this indicated that he wished to listen, but would not speak; and piggy intended it as a gesture of disapproval.” aka ‘i’m mad at everyone so im gonna stand two feet away & glare at you all’ aw haha

when he tiptoes onto the triangle cuz hes done w his protesting ahaha aw

“piggy held out his hands for the conch but ralph shook his head.” idk i thought the mental image was cute. “gimme pls” “nuh uh”

what he says about the beast & life being scientific…me & piggy would be buds if he was real lmao

“ralph nodded to piggy. ‘go on. ask him.’ piggy knelt, holding the conch. ‘now then. what’s your name?’ the small boy twisted away into his tent. piggy turned helplessly to ralph..” honestly piggy & ralph are the mom & dad of the colony (jack being the asshole uncle) it’s so cute

“’that’s a clever beast,’ said piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’” sarcastic piggy is sarcastic

more sarcastic piggy earlier in the book: “you got your small fire all right” i lob him

indignant & shrill piggy… and his quote: “’what are we? humans? or animals? or savages?’” honestly lowkey want that tattooed

i fuckin hate jalph but admittedly jack’s jealous lil “’that’s right–favor piggy as you always do.’” is salty & gay lmao

the whole three blind mice convo…i luv

particular highlight in that scene: “’i’m scared of him,’ said piggy, ‘and that’s why i know him. if you’re scared of someone you hate him but you can’t stop thinking about him. you kid yourself he’s all right really, an’ then when you see him again; it’s like asthma an’ you can’t breathe. i tell you what. he hates you too, ralph—’” POOR BABYYY

also “’i know about people. i know about me. and him. he can’t hurt you: but if you stand out of the way he’d hurt the next thing. and that’s me.” IN THE END ROGER’S THE ONE WHO HURTS HIM UGH :(

“’keep piggy out of danger.’” YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DIE

piggy holding his breath until his asthma acts up & then the boys just leave him??? what dicks

“jack cleared his throat and spoke in a queer, tight voice. ‘we mustn’t let anything happen to piggy, must we?’” AND THEN YOU LET HIM D I E U SALTY BITCH QUIT IT

“piggy put on his one glass and looked at ralph. ‘now you done it. you been rude about his hunters.’ ‘oh shut up!’” why dont more ppl ship them?? compared to jalph theres nothing??? theyre like a married couple it’s precious. like i said - mom & dad of the island.

piggy getting braver & being more of a leader once jack leaves!!! im proud of him!!

“he [simon] sought for help and sympathy and chose piggy” k the two most humane & sympathetic kids on the island, and the two doomed ones, gravitate towards each other & look out for each other & it so sadd

piggy being “so full of pride in his contribution to the good of society” he didnt deserve his fate he was so good im so sad

samneric & piggy making a little mini feast for them?? thats so cute???

also “piggy broke into noisy laughter and took more fruit. ‘he might be.’ he gulped his mouthful. ‘he’s cracked’.” piggy u get teased for bein different why would u tease simon (behind his back too) for bein diffrent u hypocrite. noisy laughter tho aw

piggy & ralph laying by the fire & talking…ralph didnt deserve piggy honestly he wasnt even grateful until the very end for such a good friend in such a horrible situation??? ugh

“when he understood how far ralph had gone toward accepting him he flushed pinkly with pride” see? good friendship. piggy just wanted a friend & to be considered valuable. and ralph finally started appreciating him

“piggy took off his glasses, stepped primly into the water, and then put them on again.” prim: stiffly formal and respectable; feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper. idk why this is funny to me

when he gets annoyed and starts slapping the water & yelling. temper tatrum lmao. dont blame him

“piggy stirred the sand under water and did not look at ralph. ‘p’raps we ought to go too.’ ralph looked at him quickly and piggy blushed. ‘i mean–to make sure nothing happens.’ ralph squirted water again.” they’re so fuckINGN CUTE

“piggy touched ralph’s wrist. ‘come away. there’s going to be trouble. and we’ve had our meat.’“ SO MUCH OF THIS STORY WOULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE OTHER BOYS ACTUALLY LISTENED TO PIGGY

“ralph sat down in the grass facing the chief’s seat and the conch. piggy knelt at his left, and for a long minute there was silence.” i luv their dynamic sm. ruler & adviser. no questions asked. ultimate loyalty. so good.

piggy trying to be all rational about simon while ralph freaks out…what a scene. also i luv how awkward their convo w samneric immediately after is

piggy wants to be rescued most and hes the one whos killed!!!! bullshit!!!! justice for piggy!!!

when ralph says piggy should write a letter to his auntie & he takes it serious & ralph laughs & piggy doesnt get it. awe.

the scene where they take his glasses ;-; u made my boi piggy hav an ass-mar attack u monsters,

PIGGY GETTIN ALL BADASS & DETERMINED & TALKING ABOUT WHAT HES GONNA TELL JACK

“he held out the conch to piggy who flushed, this time with pride” and then “piggy sought in his mind for words to convey his passionate willingness to carry the conch against all odds.” the conch is the only constant on the island, the only dependable thing he has besides ralph, so hes so invested in it, hes pretty much deemed himself the caretaker of the conch, and it dies with him…

the scene where piggy reassures ralph & it says “the twins were examining ralph curiously, as though they were seeing him for the first time” is probably my fav scene in the entire book…it just really shows, in a couple of lines, the characters that ralph & piggy are, and what their relationship is like, and why they’re a partnership throughout the whole book. fantastic.

“’am i safe?’ quavered piggy. ‘i feel awful–’” fuckin foreshadowing, i hate it. imagine being practically blind on a cliff and then, minutes later, falling to your death. god it’s terrible.

piggy crying for ralph not to leave him actually hurts like psychically in my chest. him and simon were babies??? i know it’s fiction but kids are the sweetest things, not even fictional kids deserve to be killed so mercilessly??? im so fuckin sad

his last words…powerful and iconic.

i dont wanna talk about his death. im very sad

k ik it’s terrible but when he died his skull cracked open & his brain more or less fell out (”and stuff came out”, “with his empty head”), and thats p macabre but it’s also symbolic and genius bc when roger killed him he also took away the only thing he had going for him, the only thing that gave him superiority over the others - his intelligence. his brain.

of course, have to end on: “ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called piggy.” cue me shutting the book, hugging it to my chest, and sobbing

#lotf #books #sorry i just. im rlly emotional & i rlly luv piggy #txt

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jaysonblaze · 8 years ago

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Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Episode 36 Review

YOOOO HYPER MUTEKI! That was one hell of a debut and I super dig the finisher being so fast its literally delayed. Poor Cronus you finally lost your cool utterly and are starting to show your true colours. I fucking told you Bikeboy was completely playing Cronus for a sucker, he is a master of being a liar and he seemed to really enjoy milking the reveal. It’s good to see the guy back in the intro and HE EVEN GOT HIS OLD SPOT BACK AT THE END! Cronus using the lives of people who got game overs to increase his players is fucking despicable and right now Bethesda are fucking kicking themselves they didnt think of it first. It’s nice to see him finally devolve into a panicking villain thats lost control of the situation completely cause he has zero way to counter Muteki’s speed and power, his only real advantage the pause is utterly useless against someone who can move in a time stop.

Taiga did not a lot this episode.

Poppy was very loud this episode but next time she transforms again!

Nico didnt do a lot.

Hiiro is conflicted and man I do feel bad for the guy but man killing someone to bring someone else back is never the right way to do things. He is just so broken by this all but next episode will he devolve into full villainy in order to bring the love of his life back? Most likely yes.

Parad got played big time but instead of being pissed about it he seemed to take it in stride and actually enjoyed kicking Cronus’ ass even in an indirect way. It’ll be interesting how they build on his character now with that and how he will handle being hunted.

Shin Kuroto was a highlight of the episode again with his insane god given talent saving the day again! not really he instead fell into the usual trap of explaining your powers. His still an unapologetic bastard too which is hilarious.

Kiriya played his part perfectly and in the end came through to save the day. It’s good to see how deep down he wants to save as many people as possible. Of course he had to make a big show of it in order to gain Cronus’ trust and it payed off amazingly.

Emu finally got his super mode but I think the drawback of having to work with Parard for it is of course gonna be a problem down the line and what if Parad is destroyed? what happens then? Who knows but its nice to see Emu actually play clever and get one over on the villains. I cant wait to see more of Ultimate Gamer Ex-Aid.

I really dig the idea of the (possible)Big Bad giving the hero his ultimate form, I dont think we have anything like this before. I mean Gaim had something close, OOO’s did as well but to this level where the big bad has to physically give him the power thats utterly new.

If you think I’ve missed anything, want to chat or think I’m wrong feel free to shoot me a message.

Next week: The Brave finds his resolve, Taiga gets a beating, Cronus goes crazier and Poppy transforms!

See you next game!

#kamen rider spoilers #kamen rider ex-aid spoilers #kamen rider ex-aid #kamen rider #blaze reviews

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago

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The 9 Fights You’ll Definitely Have With Your SO When You Move In Together

This summer, I purchased my first home with my fiance. Wed lived together in my parents home for several months, so we figured having a place to ourselves wouldnt be much of a transition.

I mean, we already lived together. We were going to be like two sexy little peas in a very overpriced pod! Except we werent. At least, not exactly.

Once its just the two of you, things do indeed change. By moving in with your partner, youre assuming the roles of husband and wife. But instead of being married to each other, youre mutually committed to this one, very expensive house thatll take the majority of your lives to pay off.

With such high stakes, theres a lot to gain and lose when you do finally move in. And as any couple whos ever lived together knows, you will find yourselves having a number of standard arguments over and over again.

Most of these arguments have no merit and brew from outside sources, but your partner gets the brunt of it because theyre, well, there. So lets get started on these arguments, shall we?

1.The conflict of the light switch.

Because I always grew up with pets, when I would leave the house, Id always leave the TV on for them so theyd feel less alone.

Since weve only had the house for a few months, I continue to leave the TV on when I leave. This INFURIATES my fiance, who, as soon as I step in the house, scolds me as if I were being reprimanded by a teacher in grade school.

Id then daftly counter with, Well, Im the one paying the electricity bill, so why do you care? and, as Im sure you can imagine, a whole other argument ensues.

2. Bills, bills, bills.

Money will always be a subject of contention for couples. Always.

Whenyou move in with somebody, you marry each other financially, so this contention can grow. Add to the fact that youre absolutely astounded by the amount of money youre now spending on bills that used to be spent on beer and just beer.

As such, your money becomes their money and vice versa. Your spending affects them and their spending affects you.

I should add here that bills arent often the source of an argument (at least in our home), but are instead used as a last line of defense in an argument.

For instance, if you pay the majority of the bills, you will undoubtedly use this against your partner when verbally backed into a corner. Its not a smart thing to do, but like I said, its a last line of defense. Its all youve got.

3. Settling on TV shows.

Im fortunate that my fiance and I like watching the same shows, but there are moments when we disagree and a lukewarm argument ensues.

For instance, I know my fiance doesnt want to watch a show when she innocently asks: Whats this? or What are you watching?

Knowing this is her method to vocalize her distaste for whatevers on, I surrender by delicately placing the converter on her lap, where shell then switch it over to The Food Network.

4. Accusations of ones laziness.

Since I work from home, my fiance likes to think I have the day to sweep the floors, do the laundry, fold the laundry and otherwise ensure the house is spotless.

To her, Im Cinderella with a laptop who writes the occasional boner joke in a Word document.

On the other hand, when my fiance comes home mid-afternoon, shell sit on the couch and eat a can of chickpeas, warm up some tomato soup and not do much else.

To be fair, she works as a baker and wakes up at 4 am, but when Im being accused of laziness, the claws comeoutand nobody is safe. Well poke at each other, accusing the other of being lazy, until an actual argument follows.

What you ultimately realize is that anyone can be accused of being lazy with the right argument.

5. The terrible, deplorable saga that is laundry.

Laundry. FUCKING LAUNDRY. Without a doubt, the worst chore of all chores.

While neither of us has any problem throwing a load in the washer or dryer, its the folding and hanging thats a pain in the ass.

There have been a few times where Ive washed, dried and folded the laundry, have gotten fed up and asked that she hang the laundry in the closet. This is where our arguments will usually begin.

Her side: Why not finish the deed yourself? Youre already 80 percent there. Mine: Ive done most of the work, just help me!

Conclusion: Laundry doesnt get hung but instead sits on the floor in a spare room.

6. Compromising on bedtime activities.

Because my fiance wakes up so early and I dont have a dedicated start time, our bedtime schedules are very different.

Though weve each compromised, we discovered many things about each other, such as: I like to watch TV in the bedroom; she doesnt. I like having a fan on in the room; she doesnt. She likes body contact; I dont. And so on.

I know were not alone on this one. I just know it.

7. Doing the dishes.

I actually dont hate doing the dishes. I really dont. I mean, I dont love it, but in terms of chores, its really not so bad.

I should add here that we dont have a dishwasher, so Ive kind of assumed this role myself. If you do have one and complain, youve got no foot to stand on. Im sorry, you just dont.

Like Ive mentioned, my fiances a baker and loves to bake at any and every given opportunity, so the dishes are seemingly endless.

I should also add that shes vegan and Im not, so to make sure that no animal product comes in contact with her food, our dishes are pretty much doubled.

When the dishes start piling on themselves, forming a steel volcano about to erupt with vanilla cupcake batter, Ill admit I get frustrated. Cue argument.

8. Whoever does the cooking holds all the power.

Like paying the bills, the person who cooks in the household will always highlight this fact when theyve got no other form of defense in an argument.

Its like a verbal stun gun: You bring it up, deliver the blinding impact that is your own pettiness and flee the argument hoping theyve got no retort.

9. Understanding that a womans beauty takes time.

Before living together, all Id see was my fiance walking down her driveway looking sexy and flawless.

Now that we live together, I understand that before she worked that driveway like a runway, she spent several hours doing her hair and makeup. Tack on another hour for the outfit.

Now that we live together, this becomes less flattering and more frustrating.

Here you are, all dressed, car keys in hand and should have left 10 minutes ago. But there she is, the love of your life, teasing her hair in her underwear with a glass of wine on the counter.

Like, come on. WEVE GOTTA GO!

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-9-fights-youll-definitely-have-with-your-so-when-you-move-in-together/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/02/15/the-9-fights-youll-definitely-have-with-your-so-when-you-move-in-together/

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adambstingus · 7 years ago

Text

The 9 Fights You’ll Definitely Have With Your SO When You Move In Together

This summer, I purchased my first home with my fiance. Wed lived together in my parents home for several months, so we figured having a place to ourselves wouldnt be much of a transition.

I mean, we already lived together. We were going to be like two sexy little peas in a very overpriced pod! Except we werent. At least, not exactly.

Most of these arguments have no merit and brew from outside sources, but your partner gets the brunt of it because theyre, well, there. So lets get started on these arguments, shall we?

1.The conflict of the light switch.

Because I always grew up with pets, when I would leave the house, Id always leave the TV on for them so theyd feel less alone.

Id then daftly counter with, Well, Im the one paying the electricity bill, so why do you care? and, as Im sure you can imagine, a whole other argument ensues.

2. Bills, bills, bills.

Money will always be a subject of contention for couples. Always.

As such, your money becomes their money and vice versa. Your spending affects them and their spending affects you.

I should add here that bills arent often the source of an argument (at least in our home), but are instead used as a last line of defense in an argument.

3. Settling on TV shows.

Im fortunate that my fiance and I like watching the same shows, but there are moments when we disagree and a lukewarm argument ensues.

For instance, I know my fiance doesnt want to watch a show when she innocently asks: Whats this? or What are you watching?

Knowing this is her method to vocalize her distaste for whatevers on, I surrender by delicately placing the converter on her lap, where shell then switch it over to The Food Network.

4. Accusations of ones laziness.

Since I work from home, my fiance likes to think I have the day to sweep the floors, do the laundry, fold the laundry and otherwise ensure the house is spotless.

To her, Im Cinderella with a laptop who writes the occasional boner joke in a Word document.

On the other hand, when my fiance comes home mid-afternoon, shell sit on the couch and eat a can of chickpeas, warm up some tomato soup and not do much else.

What you ultimately realize is that anyone can be accused of being lazy with the right argument.

5. The terrible, deplorable saga that is laundry.

Laundry. FUCKING LAUNDRY. Without a doubt, the worst chore of all chores.

While neither of us has any problem throwing a load in the washer or dryer, its the folding and hanging thats a pain in the ass.

There have been a few times where Ive washed, dried and folded the laundry, have gotten fed up and asked that she hang the laundry in the closet. This is where our arguments will usually begin.

Her side: Why not finish the deed yourself? Youre already 80 percent there. Mine: Ive done most of the work, just help me!

Conclusion: Laundry doesnt get hung but instead sits on the floor in a spare room.

6. Compromising on bedtime activities.

Because my fiance wakes up so early and I dont have a dedicated start time, our bedtime schedules are very different.

I know were not alone on this one. I just know it.

7. Doing the dishes.

I actually dont hate doing the dishes. I really dont. I mean, I dont love it, but in terms of chores, its really not so bad.

I should add here that we dont have a dishwasher, so Ive kind of assumed this role myself. If you do have one and complain, youve got no foot to stand on. Im sorry, you just dont.

Like Ive mentioned, my fiances a baker and loves to bake at any and every given opportunity, so the dishes are seemingly endless.

I should also add that shes vegan and Im not, so to make sure that no animal product comes in contact with her food, our dishes are pretty much doubled.

When the dishes start piling on themselves, forming a steel volcano about to erupt with vanilla cupcake batter, Ill admit I get frustrated. Cue argument.

8. Whoever does the cooking holds all the power.

Like paying the bills, the person who cooks in the household will always highlight this fact when theyve got no other form of defense in an argument.

Its like a verbal stun gun: You bring it up, deliver the blinding impact that is your own pettiness and flee the argument hoping theyve got no retort.

9. Understanding that a womans beauty takes time.

Before living together, all Id see was my fiance walking down her driveway looking sexy and flawless.

Now that we live together, I understand that before she worked that driveway like a runway, she spent several hours doing her hair and makeup. Tack on another hour for the outfit.

Now that we live together, this becomes less flattering and more frustrating.

Here you are, all dressed, car keys in hand and should have left 10 minutes ago. But there she is, the love of your life, teasing her hair in her underwear with a glass of wine on the counter.

Like, come on. WEVE GOTTA GO!

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-9-fights-youll-definitely-have-with-your-so-when-you-move-in-together/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170892645632

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