#i dont think any college can overlook that even if i did everything after perfectly and i dont blame them
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posting this probably just makes an answer from him more unlikely but idk idk i idkoidi id k
#i want to ask him what he thinks of my awful grades#the fact that i think anyone would have that on their mind enough to form an opinion on it just proves im needlessly self centered#why would i expect him to do that#the time i remember that i did ask him was the worst time imaginable so obviously he wouldnt be able to respond even if he did know#if he really does have any thoughts on it i dont even know if i would rather have a nice or a mean answer#but idk#i dont feel at all sorry for myself and dont see why anyone would ESPECIALLY in my case#even though he said that he has let his grades drop as well and can sympathize#my brain keeps telling me that it doesnt compare to having almost exclusively zeroes in every single class for over half the year#i know im a shitty person for applying that sort of logic to suffering when i know it doesnt work that way but#i cant bring myself to lie or try to act like the thought didnt occur#recently i have actually been able to think a little but that cant undo the past#i know that i wont struggle to learn all the ap material in time for the ap test and the sat is really easy#but that doesnt change the fact that a full ride is out of the picture completely with that flagrant tumor on my gpa#i dont think any college can overlook that even if i did everything after perfectly and i dont blame them#you dont just plummet like that once and have it never resurface
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