#i dont need a huge explanation i just need closure

[petorahs]

Hello! Just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of the way you draw Wrioney, so very tender and cute 🥺 Your artstyle is overall quite nice to look at as well!

Also, seeing how the dynamic you set up for them in your art is somewhat different to how they interact canonically, I was curious if you could share how you felt ab them after 4.1? Did their "bickering" discourage or inspire you with new, fresh ideas?

hey there! thanks so much for liking my art of them :") it means a lot! and also thanks for wanting to know my opinion of the ship itself and not just the art, too! warms my heart.

short answer: the 4.1 archon quest did leave a bad taste in my mouth, yes, but i got over it and realized wow. i love wrioney so much and i would rather have this than any other cookie cutter "perfect/wholesome" dynamic

long answer/explanation under cut!

first off, pre-4.1 wrioney's setup was just too good for me to pass up and hit all my fav points. cat (chat noir) + dog (cerberus) dynamic??? criminal x prison warden???? wriothesley's tareme eyes to lyney's upturned ones? cute! not to mention i liked how their color palette matched more than the other popular ships. they seemed like they were made for eachother. we also had 0 crumbs for wrio's personality at that point so i assumed he'd be the serious to lyn's playful flirt.

shipping in this game to me has always been a bit on the shallower side, and thats fine! some of these characters never get to "grow" with dynamic character arcs really and remain "static" to have their profiles make sense when you pull for them. they can never be directly antagonistic to the player and have to be "redeemed" in some way. 76++ characters and not all of them get time in the spotlight, either. thats fine too.

that all changed when fontaine came out. and even more when 4.1 did.

wriothesley's personality was a joy. i love morally dubious and fun characters like him, the kinds that dont really fit into a "box" or trope!! genshin's good at making characters like that, just as they are good at the tropey ones. i also didnt mind that he canonically isnt above torturing, too. heck, i mean i love kamisato ayato who is basically what the game sets up as the male version of arlecchino + diluc burning an abyss mage and kazuha's tongue branding comment were one of my favorite moments. i thought wrio being cruel was very much in line for a prison warden. it made sense. what didn't make sense was the way the game needed to show this.

i loved lyney the moment i saw him in the travail trailer. his thing with his family another one of the best things to come out of genshin. fucked up orphans and found family who are villains? actually so good. but because they are what the game wants us to see as "unequivocable villains", they also get... disrespected in the story a lot?

the way i saw it, the game wanted us to see wrio as the "cool/badass hero!!!! wow your grace you're actually so kind for not killing them!!! see guys he just looks cruel and antagonistic but he's actually so morally good!!!also here's like 3 cutscenes of wrio looking cool ^_^" while lyney's treated like an "overemotional kid" really rubbed me off the wrong way. everything else was fine. i just got tired of the game insisting that the fatui are so bad no matter what and the rest are ""good"" when their whole thing in fontaine was doing away with the black and white morality. the devs seek to promote greyness but they cant even write that right?

what wrio did to them truly probably wasnt even the worst lyney and his siblings have been through, i know this for a fact. honestly wrio could have killed freminet and it'd have been like. reasonable for him. but he's a big softie who has a thing for lyney i think which is why he thought a lot about them not coming to physical harm.

but after once again accepting that midhoyo just wastes a lot of potential and reconciling the dynamic of past wrioney i had in mind (also uh. writing a fic of them for closure when i've never done anything of the sort before)... i realized theyre the best thing ever actually

enemies to lovers isnt always my cup of tea, but for context i shipped shuake before this so i feel like that primed me for this genshin ship in a way LMAO.. i actually must thank wrio for showing this new side of lyney, the viciously overprotective of his family side that i thought would never be shown, only alluded to. its mesmerizing.

and the thought that lyney, mr. masks and fake-smiles-that-dont-reach-his-eyes wouldnt bother to keep up pretenses with wriothesley anymore since he coaxed that darker side of him effortlessly? really nice.

even traveler who lyney notoriously charms and flirts with gets the mask immediately after the confrontation at the duke's office, the second lyney recharges with his siblings by his side. the beautiful thing about lyney's character is that he is always fake.

but with the duke? i wouldn't be so sure. maybe his real side, claws and bared teeth, comes to light with him and him only.

and that... goes back to the "character going through dynamic arcs" thing i mentioned in the beginning that genshin lacked. now i may be reaching for crumbs here, but i'm pretty sure this ship is the closest thing we'd get for lyney ever going through a character arc. wrio too. when i say they were "made for eachother" i think i realized that it's because they both have parallel backstories. i wont spoil too much for wrio's stories and voicelines, but it's safe to say wrio also has trouble with trusting others easily. something him and lyney can relate on lol. not to mention the orphan thing... ok i wont say more.

i love that their personalities clash so catastrophically. i love that i can never predict what genshin will do next with them. this all makes shipping them so fun. i have literally never had as much fun with shipping for this game since.... ever! really. as the game evolves, the character writing and by extension their interactions with eachother do too. and i'd say it's an improvement. i'm hopeful for the future :]

@untildarknesscomes

[snobgoblin]

I'll never understand how a giant shapeshifting goddess woman and a funky little wizard dude made these weird little fish stick creatures

[alexisdrems]

Ice I want to talk to you

I do not hate you you're not a horrible person but enough is enough

But I need to come foward

Say I'm an asshole all you want but this is the truth...

I never meant to hurt you

I jsut wanted yo try my hardest to reassure you but I was kinda off my game of comforting others that day

And I'm so sorry you misunderstood it as me trying to attack you for your depression and anxiety problems

I wouldn't ever try to purposely do that ever to you or anyone because I know it's not ok and I should know more than anybody how it feels to feel like everyone gates you and will abandon you.. So please please understand I just wanted to help but couldn't do my best that day

But the way you're responding to this isn't ok this isn't me saying " omg you're a bad person!! " this is me saying you've kinda fucked up yourself it's not bad to acknowledge you did something wrong

Yes I kinda sent you a message and made a post that doesn't solve anything but at least I'm not trying to witch hunt you like you're trying to witch hunt me from my perspective, you need to know something extremely important. Witch hunting doesn't make you better or righteous, kinda makes you an ass. And I know you felt hurt but please know I'm sorry I came off differently than intended but you also gotta known that going after someone and never leaving them be.

Doesn't make anything better

Only makes it worse

That's why people tell people not to go after and attack people even if they did something awful on purpose

Because 1. It solves literally nothing to attack ppl 2. It doesn't make you better than them at all or right depending on the situation it kinda makes you jsut as much as an asshole as they seem or you think they are.

Another thing the memes I may be realizing I feel I wasn't really reacting to them but to this whole situation

I get confrontation anxiety which is why I've been hiding from you

Because even if I'm a 16 year old I am scared of you finding and trying to attack and mock me

I can't handle confrontation I become numb and shaky and it's hard for me to face you...

You're actions have had a little impact on my trust in people.. And I'm saying this as an explanation why I keep hiding on alts

Because I am SCARED I am not a fan of confrontation but I know hiding will not solve anything either so I'm trying my hardest to solve this

I just want us to come to a civil discussion

And then finally move on from this

I wanna move on

And I want you to move on too

It's the only way foward

Ik it's hard to take me seriously because you hate me... But it was a few mistakes I made... And I'm apologizing gor the misunderstanding and my irrational decisions made from extreme stress.

I'm coming forward now because I gotta do it eventually

I have to face you and it's scary

It really is

Doing this gets you no where

It makes you seem kinda like a dick

Yes even if you feel revenge is sweet but

How would you feel

If you made mistakes and were being attacked for it? For me it's upsetting and stressful

I cant get all this off my mind... And I learned that we both need closure on this we need to move on ice we can't keep doing this

We have to put aside everything and talk it out

Because that's the mature way of doing it

Not attacking me and not me hiding

We have to talk and move on

I want to finally put it behind us

And we can move on from one another

I'm scared all you'll respond with is mocking me but I'm gonna hope you understand what I want

I want to just talk

And afterwards agree that we dont well with eachother and go our seperate ways

I just wanna see you improve I have huge hope you can change and improve yourself from someone who thinks trying to witch hunt someone is the best way to respond I know you can, we're not perfect and ik I'm way better than who I was when I was your age when faked depression and hurt innocent kind people

So I have great hope you can improve yourself too

And learn moving on is the only way to a brighter path and life in general

We have to apologize to eachother

And move on

That's the only way out

And if you ignore this.. And mock me instead... Then that were your actions not mine... I can't be held accountable for what you no liek you're not for what I do or did.

I'm sorry for a long message but I'm tired of hiding and being in fear of you

I want to try and solve this

So please if you're willing...

Come talk to me... Because that's the only way we're gonna move on

cryptics

the person who never meant to hurt you and just wants this to end and for everyone to move on

Ik you'll either continue trying to mock me...

Or maybe like I hope will come to me putting aside everything that happened and just talking civilly because that's the mature way of solving this

I am tempted to hide from confronting you and running away

But I should know...

Running away... Doesn't make the problem go away

I'm only away from it

And I think I'm ready to stand up and talk

That's all

For you to leave me alone

For us to move on from it and eachother

We don't mix ice we don't at all

So I think it's better if we go our separate ways after this if you do decide to talk to me

This is the better way to solve this

I'll be anxiously waiting to see if you see this

I truly only want to stop all this

I'm tired of this I'm done hiding its time

To Charlie btw

I don't hate you either

But you did fuck up too

Don't take this as ne saying you're horrible ppl

I'm scared you'll assume that without another word

You must acknowledge you're mistakes like I'm acknowledging my own please...

I should end it herr now this post has gotten too lengthy

[itsediadmlove]

Endgame................

I’ve never believed I had any right to be angry at GRRMartin for the endgame he was going to provide us, nor about the time he took on writting, I’ve always believed ASOIAF to be his creation and should be so until the very end, and I still do. I’m neither writting to put any blame on the Ds about such a thing as the endgame. Yet, despite of the direction the story finally took I believe I can put some blame on them, again not for the outcome but for the shit they have made beyond that.

D&D: There are several things I’m more than willing to blame them about.

1- The way they spent HBO money and OUR time. Again this is not about the story itself but the way they organized this season. We all knew there were only 6 episodes left and a full lot of shit to do, so things being rushed coud be anticipated. Apparently (cause I don’t know) they were given the chance to make a 10 episodes season and they choosed not to because they thought it wasn’t needed, and they were maybe right and still what they did was absolutely unsatisfying. Why? For me it’s pretty simple, they didn’t gave themselves enough time to build up things the right way. But the truth being said, even if they had 10 fucking episodes they would have messed up. The problem was not the amount of minutes this season but how they used it, at some point they missed the concept of the show they were running. GOT/ASOIAF can be setted in a medieval fantastic world, it can be an epic story, but what it has always been is a political thriller. Yet those dickheads choosed to spend 1/3 of the remaining onscreen time (and probably 2/3 of the budget they were trusted with) in fucking long battles (if KL destruction can even be called a battle). As far as I remember, the longest battle that have taken place in the books was when Stannis attacked KL, in the books I remember it took like 6 chapters (3 of them were Sansa’s who wasn’t even in the battle), readers felt disappointed about how shitty the battle of the blackwater was back in season 2, yet we understood the show’s timetable needed to be done with it quickly and the budget was the one of a TV show with a huge amount of characters so we wern’t very bothered by it. GOT/ASOIAF have never been about battles,  those are things that just happen and it’s awful yes, but have never been the main core of the story and yet they spent such a huge amount of time on them when the show had so little time to get a closure,I REPEAT MYSELF 1/3 of our time, I believe the most of the money for what? Two fucking long battles which were not amazing at all (Drogon blowing up KL was beautiful yes, but never worth 45 minutes of my time). SO NO, IT’S NOT THINGS WERE RUSHED BECAUSE OF THE TIME LEFT, THEY WERE RUSHED BECAUSE THEY BETRAYED THE ESSENCE OF THE SHOW THEY WERE RUNNING BY SPENDING TOO MANY TIME IN SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MOVE THE STORY LINE FURTHER AND EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER ARC PAID FOR IT.

2- The broken trust. This 2 morrons were given the chance by the very GRRMartin to be the first to deliver the endgame of the most intriguing and complex story I’ve ever watched or read. They had a responsability toward him and again they failed. THE FUCKING FINALE WAS ACTUALLY LEAKED. I mean, this on itself is an insult to the kind of show they were supposed to do, a treason to all the time GRRMartin spent on writting his books. It’s not what the endgame was, to be frustrated about how life works it’s granted on GOT/ASOIAF. But letting it to be leaked, not just one episode, but all of them... Letting the more discussed, argued, especulated show in history end to be leaked is something I can’t forgive them for.

3- Setting things up that never paid off: I just felt that every single camera focus, political conflict... Was set for nothing... GOT has never been like that, the truth was hidden by the scrypt but told on how the show was actually plaid. Never got a Sansa/Cersei/Dany display and, no matter who of them you stand, just that was frustrating. Non epic dialogues, instead we got 10 minutes of council unimportant small talk (not even about politics) and brothel joking (THE FUCK???). Even if someone tries to say something of the like that it was all to subvert expectations all of that was ruined because they let the fucking endgame to be spoiled. It felt that it was all for nothing but fuck us, and if it was that way well, then it was all for fan disservice which is even wworse than fan service because no one gets satisfied about it. Tenth of minutes of threats, angsty looks, anticipation, political moves, drama, plot, build up made garbage which actually means that the most true moments to the show were battles which is just..................................................................................... ehem. This season battles became what were never meant to be and the rest of it was just nothing at all.

Now, enough with the D&D criticism, I don’t want to go any further and the cast was amazing: Emilia really got me this season, she is way better of what I ever thought her to be, magnificient work for you, Sophie as good as always, Kit you did all that could be done with just as little as they gave you (your BoW sequence while running in the courtyard was amazing and never expected less since the BoB), Lena my only complaint is that I missed you as much as Jaime missed Cersei (Cersei may be the one character that was better in the show than in the books; the scripts plaid their part but so you did)... And so on. You did amazingly all along and YOU can be proud; you all were the best part of it.

Let’s go to GRRMartin. As I said above I’m ok with the ending being such, not the one I would have picked but well, I dont get to chose, isn’t it? I’ve always been amazed by just how realistic the story was, how cynical you are yourself, how complex every character you designed has been and how you brought it together to make a story that made sense, a story that was always able to make you expect things that never happen and yet, with the given time, would reveal to go in a far more logical way making you understand, accept and keep going with it... Maybe I am wondering because I know I would never get a further explanation, clue or hope, but for someone who have always remained true to pracmatism, realism and individualism of his characters there are a few things I actually can’t understand, not as a reader/watcher, nor as a political scientist.

Things I can understand:

-Jon going to the wall: I guess Grey Worm demanding it was true to Grey Worm’s character, he did bullshit for 2 seasons, and actually doing the very same mistake as Robb or even worse (he fell in love with a dangerous and unstable mass murderer who was ready to burn his family alive, or at least, that is what the show told us). He deserves it for knowing nothing and yet managing to forget the half of it. Yet, if Grey WWorm leaves with the unsullied... Why would he carry on his sentence... This is GOT but well, as the show putted it, it makes some sense for him to carry his sentence to the end, but George, book Jon is not this kind of honorable man who goes for honor but a dutifull bastard able to betray every single oath he once took for the greater good. Good luck pulling that off.

- Dany dying: Again, Dany falling to her extremely dark side has been very foreshadowed in both the books and the show, she has done horrendous things, a lot of people has, my personal problem with her is that, half of the times, such cruelty was absolutely unnecessary. Yet Dany stans do have a point; Dany suddenly falling for that side of her coin just because a few persons that were close to her died and people not cheering for her was extremely poor. That woman who (unwillingly) killed her husband and unborn baby, led a bunch of ill, old people as well as children through a dessert while watching them die... Going nuts for such childish reasons is pittysome for her character. Most of your character have always been grey, even the ones we perceived as evil were given the chance to prove their humanity, even while doing terrible things, they had the chance to be sympathetic to us, and we were given the chance to know the most of them and agree even with some of their worst accomplishments. This season Daenerys (who I repeat I haven’t liked for 4 seasons already) was definitely going to go dark, but she was deshumanized while doing it, in a way that was impossible to understand and yet hard to call madness. I hope you do better about her because I want to think that it was all Ds’ fault (I’ve had a hard time deciding who to blame about this) giving her to much screen time and yet being unable to make us understand wtf was going on with her so suddenly (there is a huge difference between being sad or angry and burning small folks from a dragon for 45 minutes, maybe 5 mins of it until realizing what she is doing, 5 mins on a dragon back is more than enough time to burn a huge amount of people, and that is reason enough not to support her as a queen). The problem is not that build up, anticipation, foreshadowing, that was done, but just how much of a villain she became to just not give a frikking damn about all this innocents life, or not expressing a single regret (what she did in the books after randomly eviscerating and crucifying alive 163 defeated persons in the main square of Meereen in front of their families until the rot enough to fall apart, yes mates, it was just that cruel).

- Grey Worm: all in him made sense; leaving (why would he stay???) wanting  some punishment for his queen’s traitors... But the fact he was actually believing one of those traitors to actually carry out his sentence because said traitor promised? Because his family promised not to give him any shelter?

- Bran being king; well... I understand and I don’t. The truth being said he knows how to fucking play the game without getting his hands any dirty, when he told Tyrion that this was the main reason he went down south I just thought that he actually could do a nice job there, that is Bran for us all people.

- Democracy... bullshit: I didn’t like how it was pushed away as an option, it was almost like a joke which makes sense from a feudal lord perspective but the actual truth is quite different. Democracy never works in a non posmaterialist society; desinformation, lack of stability or knowledge, extreme supersticion... Who would believe the people from the bread riot were worthy of having a vote that would decide the future of the realm, such people are extremely manipulable as it happenned with the high sparrow, or how it is remembered Baelor the Saint, one of the worst kings the seven kingdoms ever had.

Things I can’t understand:

- BRONN AS MASTER OF COIN: Being true I don’t believe it to be your fault George, you were upset about his fate and it makes sense ( SO Ds THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING BY GIVING THE MASTERSHIP OF COIN TO A MAN WHO LITERALLY SEEMS TO NEED ALL OF HIS FINGERS TO COUNT UP TO TEN, THE SEEMINGLY MORE COMPLEX AND TECHNICALLY DEMANDING MASTERSHIP OF A RAVAGED AND BANKRUPTED REALM, I DON’T KNOW WHAT STAR WARS BULLSHIT YOU ARE APPARENTLY RUNNING RIGHT NOW BUT IF I WAS THE PRODUCER YOU WOULD GET FIRED TODAY JUST BECAUSE OF SUCH BULLSHIT).

- Northern independence... and Bran as a King: Why would the north be independent? I come from the Jonsa fandom to all of you and they were a huge amount of people there wanting it but it made no sense. It has been the very first fucking time in seasons that I’ve felt like beating Sansa. One king is peace, and in future generations, moreso with the crown working as it does now, wars between the north and the suth will start again, leading to more disasters, come on George... Does the north really deserve independence? Have they suffered more than anyone else? Some people seem to believe so but it’s not true. During Aegon conquest the north was the part of the 7kingdoms which suffered the less because Torrhen Stark kneeled on time before any battle took place. There have been 2 cultural groups that have suffered Targaryens far more than northerners and just as culturally differentiated from the andals as northerners are. Those are Dornish (Rhoynars), who are famous for resisting Targaryen rule for centuries until Daeron the good succeeded in diplomacy by marrying a dornish princess and giving princess Daenerys in marriage to the prince of Dorne. They have their own succession system (far more advanced that the rest of Westeros). Have they recently suffered less George? Because, if you are going to go with some random prince of Dorne which was never introduced (I expect you not to) that would mean that all prince Doran, Arianne, Quentyn (already happenned), Trystan, Oberyn and Sandsnakes would all be dead by then. And finally the Ironborns: they are first men, they have their own religion and culture, they suffered the first attack from Aegon the conqueror (King Harren the Black was the king of the Iron Islands) remained independent even longer than Dorne (the hedge knight short stories and their mention to Dagon Greyjoy prove me right) and their family has recently fought 2 wars in order to get it back (Balon rebellion and the five kings war). In such wars both of Balon’s oldest son died and Theon was taken as a hostage for his whole life, and in the second, castrated and tortured because of it. So George... And Sansa, why should the north remain independent while the rest doesn’t? Sansa is Bran fucking sister, she is related to him in a closer way than any other fucking lord and yet she is the only one not to accept him as King? THE ACTUAL FUCK? I mean why would anyone else remain in the 7 Kingdoms if the north doesn’t? How can any lord accept such bullshit when they are not related to him and his bloody sister doesn’t? How can anyone defend Bran as a King when he accept such a thing and still say he is unbiased or fair? His actually best lordship support comes from the fucking north! How can Bran first act as a King be accepting his authority to be jeopardize in such a way? I need you to explain it way better on the books George, I really do, because right know it feels like an experiment that would last 2 days and end with Bran and his council heads on spikes.

PLEASE PEOPLE, I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE, WHO YOU STANNED, WHAT ENDGAME YOU WOULD PREFER, IF SOMEONE GETS ANY CLUE, PLEASE JUST ANSWER THIS CALL OF HELP BECAUSE... WELL ALL OF YOU KNOW ALREADY.

[thepringlesofblood]

thoughts on stranger things three  (spoilers. so many.)

this is just me yellin into the void as usual, but I like recording my opinions on things even if no one will read them 

good:

- every single scene w/ the robin, steve, erica, dustin gang, especially!!! the coming out scene. scoops?? iconic. steve and dustin’s secret handshake? transcendent. the drugged out back to the future scene? perfect. 

- eleven and max say fuck the patriarchy. love el’s new look 

- more competent women is always a win

- funhouse fight!!! carnival fight!!!FIREWORKS??!??!

- the destruction of the mall (sadly the only anticapitalist symbolism I could find)

- the scene after jonathan and nancy get fired where they’re angry about their separate marginalized identities making this loss worse. I really liked how it went into the ways it will impact both of them, and I especially liked when nancy got home and talked to her mom. 

- joyce going buckwild and getting shit done. 

- the portrayal of hypervigilance as a symptom of PTSD. All of these characters have seen some shit, and all of them pick up on the littlest things the second they present themselves because subconsciously, they’re always on edge, always aware of bad it could break. 

- most of will’s character arc. not all, but most of it. the queer experience of watching all your friends get dates and feeling like you’re missing out on something? trying to regain their interest because you feel lost and left behind? worrying that you’re not “growing up” because you don’t recognize romantic interest in yourself? not realizing you’re falling for your best friend until they get a romantic partner and suddenly you hate the partner even though they haven’t done anything wrong? a poignant, beautiful, very painful portrayal of queer teenhood. I really, really wish there was a moment that the audience realized will was in love with mike though. Like, it’s been building for a very long time. Also, a more thorough confirmation of will’s queerness would’ve been nice. I think they meant mike saying “you don’t understand bc you don’t like girls” to be that confirmation, but I want to hear it from will. Robin’s moment is so so so good though. 

- domestic fuckery 

- getting someone on the inside to help them/alexei as a character. not the symbolism or larger ramifications of his character arc, but how his knowledge and personality interacted. 

- mr clarke!!!!

- el going into someone’s memories again

- how prepared everyone is to fight because they’ve seen this shit before and robin and erica are just like ‘this might as well happen’ 

- keeping with the stranger things pattern of having a bunch of different groups of people all in different genres and then together they all meet up and go ?????

- I know every says billy didn’t get enough of a redemption arc but tbh I did not see his character development as redeeming in any way and I liked that. It didn’t excuse his abusive actions, it just explained them. There was no “oh he was secretly good all along”, no dramatic total character reversal on his death bed, just him deciding that he had enough of being controlled. Max didn’t get full closure with him, he didn’t say some big speech about being wrong or realizing the ramifications of his actions bc he hadn’t reached that point yet. he just said “I’m sorry” and died. that could mean “i’m sorry for how I’ve treated you”, “I’m sorry for how many people I’ve killed”, “I’m sorry for not being able to stop the monster”, anything. we don’t know what it means. we don’t get an explanation. It speaks to how survivors of abuse often don’t get to know why, don’t get closure, don’t get all the answers. 

- steve finally won a fight before getting the shit kicked out of him

- the whole no one knowing anything about each other bc no cell phones and/or wasnt there when It Happened. 

- Erica getting the DND set was poetic cinema 

- when joyce sees will on the firetruck and they run towards each other because finally, for once, will is completely unscathed, will isn’t the one who got hurt/possessed. I was already crying but this is the part where i had to get tissues bc I was sobbing. 

Bad:

- the red scare bullshit and glorification of capitalism. this show started out as “the US govt is doing shady shit” and now the big climatic “everything’s alright” is the army getting there?? what the fuck. There’s being accurate to the time period and then there’s sending a message. they could’ve subverted that trope in so many ways, but they just went for straight up “capitalism is great! fuck russia!” and I hated that. also, talk about one-note villainry. there weren’t even any dramatic monologues to make up for it, it just kinda sucked. 

- Hopper’s character in the beginning of the season. the scene where he gets wasted after getting stood up? shitty. not talking to el about his vaguely sexist overprotective actions? shitty. blowing up at joyce for no reason? shitty. he pulls it together in the end but it was OOC for a bit there. Plus I would kill for more “hopper and el work through their trauma together”, rather than “friend group splinters bc hopper did a yell” 

- I don’t know what to think about hopper’s death. It just hurts, and not in a satisfying, last harry potter book way. 

- why the fuck are the byers and el moving?????? did they ever give a reason???? WHY?????? WILL AND EL’S ENTIRE SUPPORT NETWORK, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH AND CAN HELP THEM, IS IN HAWKINS!!!!!

- the ads. omg the ads. lucas idc about your fucking coke. there’s so much goddamn product placement. christ on a goddamn bicycle. 

- previous seasons have had body horror, but it was all black goo so it was removed from reality and conveyed a psychological, otherworldly horror. and I liked that. WHY WAS THERE SO MUCH FUCJING MEAT IN THIS ONE??? THE MIND FLAYER LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MADE OF BBQ SAUCE AND I HATED IT!!! STOP!!!THE MEATS!!!!!

- can el not be injured......for oNCE?????

- also can people stop standing around staring at shit so much? theyve seen it before. it’s not like it’s a huge shock. people stand around for like 5 minutes before Doing Things and it annoys me. with the New Kids like erica and robin it makes sense but like....whenever theres a monster mike just sits there like :o cOME ON DUDE YOU’VE DONE THIS SO MANY TIMES GET A KNIFE OR SOMETHIN!!!

- WHAT. WAS. THE GREEN STUFF?????????????????? IS IT FUCKING PLUTONIUM OR SOMETHING???? WHAT THE FUCK!!! IF YOU NEED A MACGUFFIN BE LESS OBVIOUS ABOUT IT!!!

- idk about you but murray yelling at them about sex kinda rubbed me the wrong way. 

- speaking of, you caNNOT convince me that murray, 4 locks on the front door lives in a bunker murray, would take a goddamn enemy of the state to a carnival and leave him alone for any period of time. seriously????????

- look.....it was adorable.....i’ll give you that.....but.....the song dustin and suzy sang slapped me with secondhand embarrassment and genre disconnect so hard I found it impossible to enjoy. also...planck’s constant??? you could/......idk........call mr clarke????????? you’ve interrupted the man’s life for less!!!! I was also half expecting it to be joyce who remembered it from all the studying she did on the magnets. I did enjoy the whole “i met a girl at camp” story being unbelievable until it was but like I was expecting the thing she wanted him to say to be like a famous star wars love quote or something not an entire song jesus christ 

- if hopper turns out to be alive I will face god and walk backwards into hell. I suffered through supernatural, I will not be caught in a cycle of fake deaths again. 

- i get the whole “we’re growing up now” thing but aren’t they like 13? theyre still so young??? also like i dont rly care for the vague soap-opera-y vibes the core squad gave off. 

- the only people who got flayed were either a. already pretty shitty or b. completely unknown. like. it just made it less scary????

- hopper just fucking standing by the machine looking at joyce instead of running the 5 seconds up the steps into the room. seriously? was that supposed to be slow motion or was that real time??? 

- the whole thing with cerebro not working at the beginning sucked ass. 

- hey does mrs wheeler have eyes??? like??? there were exactly two (2) scenes she had with mike and nancy and both were Big Conversations like they live there right/????tbh i forgot she was their mom until those scenes bc of the whole billy thing, which i decidedly do not have an opinion on but like....do they eat breakfast there??? 

[privateairventstowhine]

And its been so rewarding and scary, but never shameful and usually only unsteady or fearful on my side it seemed. And we had sex three times last spring break and they seemed to enjoy themself and everything felt so right and not rushed and it was just so wonderful. And while they never promised me anything, they implied that wed hav sex in the summer. That they even wanted to try eating me out and fingering me. And while i was and still am completely serious wen i say they could change their mind at anytime if they didnt feel they wanted to do that anymore later on and i know that having sex once doesnt give permission or desire for sex again... they blindsided me in a way. For the first time i came to them telling them i wanted to talk about wat i wanted sexually and i wasnt ashamed or timid about it because everyother time i finally keyed myself up to talk to them about stuff they hav been completely open and stable and nonneurotic about this topic The opposite of me, except for this time. We has been slowly building things up and i felt like i we were on the same page or around the same page as each other as far as talking about stuff like this but. They kept telling me they werent ready to talk. So the confidence trust in this kind of convo not being a huge thing fell away. Until they told me they werent sure they even still wanted to talk yet. So thats where the confusion and disappointment come from. Usually my anxiety tells me to be anxious and assume the worst case scenario even tho ive had good reactions in the past. So this time wen i pushed those anxieties to the side and trusted past experience, everything has gone sideways. They gave me no indication or hint of an explanation as to their level of comfort talking about this changing. They dont owe me an explanation but that doesnt stop it from making me question and be anxious over this and going back to my old anxieties of asking for too much or being predatory or pushing them or being too high maintenance. And i know theyre human and rationally i know its not me. But i cant help feeling these things wen i took that leap of faith and they didnt/werent able to catch me... I process and find catharsis and clarity in talking through things with people and over explaning myself and making sure they know my intentions and where im coming from. Which is different than how they process and communicate. Theyve had issues in the past that theyve just needed time to process on their own and they eventually came to me to talk. I hav to trust them again that they will come back to this to talk wen theyre ready. Sometimes i feel like they trust me to be understanding than i trust them just on the nature of my anxiety not trusting people to not drop me at the slightest inconvenience. But one way im more open with them than they are with me is that anytime they want to talk about something or ask a perosnal question i will answer them then and there 100% honestly. Idk if thats a trust thing or just the way that they are a more private person. But anyway, i need to let this go for the most part and let them come to me. Then, i will tell them how their actions and words hav affected me. So then it wont be percieved as guilting or more for them to worry about and blame themself for. I feel like i know wat it is theyre working through. And i will support them and not pressure them and be there for them while they process it. But all i wish is for them to at least give me the closure of telling me wat theyre uncomfortable with or having mixed feelings about or wat they no longer want to do in no uncertain terms. Because leaving this in this liminal space is so hard because i dont know wat the boundaries are or wat theyre uncomfortable with. I feel like thsi forces me to walk on eggshells with them again. I think people can talk through alot of things for full understanding but wen one person wont even tell me why they dont want to talk im just lost. I need to just focus on my trip and focus on loving them and the romantic aspect of things.

NS/SW EXTREMELY TMI

I keep going back and forth pacin around in my head. Some moments I’ll completely accept and be at peace with possibly never having sex with my partner again for unknown reasons because what ever my partner is going through personally, when theyre ready they’ll come to me. Like they always do. And that i had issues around sex last year that i was dealing with on and off again and that i finally came to talk about it with them a while after i hinted at them surfacing and that they were patient with me so i should trust them and be patient and just let it go and try to deal with my sexual frustration best i can until they come to talk to me. But then in another moment i’ll panic that i’ll start to resent them over this and whether itd be easier on them if we broke up so they dont feel bad for not being able to give me something i need/want. But then i think it wont really solve anything because i dont wanna just fuck anyone, i want to make love with them. Then i feel bad for even having an issue like this because i love them so much so i feel like sex is such a shallow thing to break up over and i dont want to do that. Then i get afraid that they’ll do something selfless and “set me free” cause they want me to hv a relationship thats sexually fulfilling. Then i start feeling impulsive about “beating them to the punch”, so im not abandoned by them and break ul first. But i dont want that in reality. Thrn ive started thinking about how its not disappointment i felt because i felt entitled cause ive never felt entitled to sex of any kind. I feel this deep disappointment and confusion and unrest because through the past year or two theyve been trying to help me through my own trauma around sex and wanting sex and feeling predatory for feeling any kind of sexual attraction. While also slowly being more open about sex and both of us exploring sexuality and how our relationship looks like for us since we’re an allo/ace couple.

[roliepoliexd]

Wow

I haven’t stepped foot on this website in over 9 long months. My last draft was me expressing my feelings about my, now ex, boyfriend (probably before I knew how much of a shit show our relationship would become). It’s funny that now on July 7th, 2017 I sit here typing at 3 AM with him still on my mind. We’ve ended things a long time ago, but were always on again off again as friends or FWB, but it seems like this time was it. We ended it for good (hopefully) two weeks ago after deciding that we were in fact killing each other. My long lasting friendship..it’s actually over. From the days of talking on the phone for over 24 hours to the nights spent together enjoying everything about each other-it’s actually over. My best friend, the one I’ve wanted to feel supported and believed in through all his faults can’t stand me. Its funny really. I cant stand myself either when I really think about it. I wasted a lot of time on someone that didn’t and never will appreciate the love I’ve given to him. The constant nights I put up with being accused of cheating because of his insecurities, only to a dishonest explanation of his past relationships for it to happen LITERALLY EVERY DAY I TALK TO HIM. Holy shit I really sat on the phone to have a nice conversation with the one I love to hear, “so...why you cheating”. Typing this out just pisses me off. The amount of times I’ve said “LOOK IF YOU THINK I’M CHEATING THEN STOP TALKING TO ME BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE” is just so saddening to me. Especially because he would do it again the next day and try to blow it off as a joke. He did not respect me and he didn’t respect women either. The negative women influences in his life led to this profound mistrust and hatred of women. I tried to convince myself that he viewed me differently, but of course I was wrong. I wont get into his life, but your experiences truly do shape who you are as a person and what your values are. I could never blame him for his views because of that, but of course I didn’t let him walk all over me just because of his ignorance. We would have very in depth discussions on our thoughts and how we view the world, and that’s what I’ll miss most. His ability to hold a conversation was astonishing and unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Some days, my anxiety would get the best of me and I was unable to carry on, but he could always continue- despite how little I had to offer. Now, reflecting on it, it’s probably because he loved hearing himself talk, but I’m gonna leave it at that so I’ll have a positive point to this. Anyways, I miss him. I’ve done nothing but get high and make bad decisions since we’ve ended it. Today though, I made progress in my life and future. I actually felt complete, but I am wide awake and I know that this day would be made even better with a phone call from my boy. The day we last saw each other was one to remember. We traded gifts and it was one of the most thoughtful things I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Anyways, that same day we had a five hour long conversation and I wen out with my friends to the movies. (BTW In this relationship going out was a huge no-no if you wanted to get yelled at about betrayal and “never having enough time to spend time with him. Which is funny because I went to see him whnever his aunt would alllow me to come over so fuck you asshole) I get out the movies to text saying that I’m a bitch and I’ve fucked him up..the usual. I thought it was just gonna be one of those fights I could blow off until I got home, but no he called me over and over and over so I turn off my phone because fuck off?? I turn it on when I get home to texts calling me needy and other unnecessary bullshit I didn’t need to hear because I was having a great night. I had just gotten back from Florida and caught up with old girl friends. Remember I saw him first that day lol, Well long story short he said he was leaving for real this time and feeding me some bullshit and I was done with him ruining my great days with his idiotic spew of nothingness, so I said leave then. lol why am i typing this he sucks i suck we both suck and i guess hes w=right i amneedy. SIKE IM NOT NEEDY BITCH. This bitch got hit by a car had no friends and called me up to take care of him. of course im a great person and i love him so im not gonna say no. So i put up with his bullshit and none of his friends gave a shit or asked about him and he would complin to me about itall the fucking time. which int bad because your friends are supposed to be there for you wtf he has shit friends butfor him to call ME needy its just so uncharacteristic of a personthat cant walk but i digress. Well thats my story it incomplete but i cant keep talking about this fucker hes pissing me off and i havent talked to him in 2 weeks. We had great times and we had shit times, I dont hate him but I’m left with no closure and thats never good, but if you continue searching for it youll never truly grow. He was a very sad man and I’m glad I don’t have to put up with it anymore. ugh its 3:52