#i dont know if this post will surbive the next 24 hours or if ill delete it earlier

[re-discover-communication]

Every once in a while I get this sudden urge to send positive anon asks to people I care a lost about even though they don't even know I exist. Probably. Just to, I don't know. Cheer them up? Be sure that they get at least one positive moment and a "Oh, someone has thought about me today" in their day. Have them know that someone does care about them. And I suppose this urge somehow comes from the lack of and desire for interactions I have here. I've been alone like a rock in my main blog for five years, now that I created this one and linked it to my ao3 and I've experienced 🌠the interactions 🌌 it feels so much lonelier when I don't get any. Which then makes me go "if I post another fic people will reach out and leave comments/reblog/send asks" (the emotions I went through when I received my first ask, oh man). Which isn't exactly the right thing to do/think. But it's exactly what happens. So now that I'm between two fics (The Growls and the WIP) and here it's mostly silent now, like the saying goes, if people don't come to me I go to them. Kind of. It's a sort of coping mechanism. "I'm sad and lonely. Let's send some positivity to someone." And then they reply saying I made them feel better and I feel better too.