#i dont know if this needs a tw but lmk if it does! idk what i would tag it as

[shalomniscient]

jingliu angst where she only tolerates you cus u remind her of baiheng sjjahagsab im dead

[nsft utc]

tw. mentions of vomiting (?), unhealthy/toxic dynamic, identity loss

you have always been a stray, hungry for scraps.

it began back on your home planet, ravaged and carved by interastral powers of all its resources, leaving behind a gnawing, gaping hole in the ground and the hearts and bellies of its people. you once mourned your more normal childhood—but the hunger in your stomach and in your soul consumed that too. your meals were few and far between, snatched from the hands of other starving husks, and it was the only joy you ever had as a child. the trickery and the thrill. it’s the only joy you get to keep into adulthood, a twisted elation that grants you a place in the cosmic court of jesters; the masked fools.

it’s—predictably—fun. trickery and thrill are the bread and butter of the fools. your mask affords you many, many opportunities for both, and though you have never had your belly achingly empty since, that hunger in your soul is not so easily sated. now, what you crave is the rush, the adrenaline, the oxytocin. and so you dance on marble floors with a different face each time, with partners who either wish you dead or in their beds, the space between you measured in an unfathomable amount of risk which you exchange for an unfathomable amount of thrill. you scamper along the length of this cosmic ballroom like a starving, feral fox in tall grass, the red of your fur as inviting as the white of your teeth are sharp. you hunt and you haunt, seeking something to fit between your aching teeth, something that will burst on the sharp point of your canines and smear your lips with pure elation and maybe satisfy that abyssal hunger in your psyche.

you have always been a stray, hungry for scraps.

and you have never seen more tantalizing a meal than a devil with a coffin and a woman who seeks to kill a god. she holds the tip of a ice-hewn blade beneath your chin the first time you meet, nicking the delicate skin of your neck, just above your pulse. you swallow. let out a laugh that sounds like a barking fox, and the woman’s sword falters. surprisingly, it doesn’t take much for you to convince her to let you tag along on her fool’s errand. it’s almost poetic. you learn of her name—jingliu. it’s pretty. rolls off your tongue. jingliu doesn’t bother to learn yours, but she calls you fox. you don’t mind the scrap of attention. after all, you’ve spent your whole life living off scraps.

travelling with jingliu (and by extension, luocha) does not lack for excitement. the road to deicide is paved with elation, even if your blue-haired companion refuses to see it. through battle and through the long travel between star systems in pursuit of the great fleet, you get somewhat closer to jingliu. it doesn’t take very long for you to slip into her bedroll (or cot, depending where you are). mara, you find, though cannot be cured can certainly be sated; much like the permanent hunger that curls in your belly. jingliu fucks you until neither of you are coherent enough to feel much of anything, madness or hunger. it’s an arrangement you find yourself enjoying. and as a by-product of such intimacy, you learn more about jingliu. her mannerisms, her illness—her past. she doesn’t tell you any of this, of course, but you can put two and two together from the things she lets slip deep in the throes of some nightmare after fucking you senseless. she gets many of those. the pattern is always the same. at first, she’ll sleep relatively soundly. but then, her brow creases, and her lip curls, and she angrily mutters a few names under her breath; a certain dan feng and yingxing. she curses them, then almost makes a noise like a sob, and something else leaves her lips— another name, but this time spoken with heartache and longing.

baiheng.

it doesn’t take much to infer that this baiheng was someone jingliu cared very much about. though when you ask luocha more about her, he reveals a little detail that makes her moderately more interesting—baiheng was a foxian. in some ways, that makes you similar to her, even though foxian you are not. the thought amused you once, as you looked back upon jingliu’s restless, sleeping form. perhaps jingliu saw her lost lover in you. how… quaint. the assumption never bother you, not really—until she starts to call for baiheng while she’s fucking you.

you’re no stranger to casual sex. even before jingliu, you never lacked for partners eager to share a bed with you. no, the fucking itself isn’t the problem—it’s how she’s fucking you. it isn’t with the detachment and pure lust like you’re used to. instead it’s almost like she cares, hands gentle on your hips as she drives her cock in and out of your greedy cunt. she fills you like she never wants for you to want for anything anymore, and even though you know it isn’t you this affection is for, that jingliu is barely even aware that you’re you and not baiheng, you can’t help but devour it feverishly every time.

you have always been a stray, hungry for scraps. and like this, with jingliu’s cock filling your pussy as she deliriously presses the shape of a dead woman’s name against your neck, you finally feel full.

and it makes you sick.

you crawl out of her embrace and spill your guts every time she falls asleep. your body utterly rejects the feeling—you’ve been so used to starving that the sensation of being full turns you ill. and yet, you can’t seem to push her away. you always come back, always relax under her touch, always pliant for her just to chase that brief, beautiful high you’ve never been able to find anywhere else only to bleed it once she’s done. your heart’s a pythagorean cup; a little too much and you’re spilling over. but you’re so greedy for it, still greedy for her. of all things it is affection that’s the most potent drug you’ve ever tasted, beyond the cheap thrill of oxytocin and adrenaline—even if none of it is meant for you, even if it’s just scraps. but that’s fine.

after all—you have always been a stray, hungry for scraps. and if that means wearing the face of a dead woman and letting the hunger finally devour you whole, then so be it.

[thecedarchronicle]

i love being a writer because i almost passed out for the first time in my life today (im okay! i donated blood and i didn't realize how dehydrated i was) but my immediate thought process went:

oh shit i think im about to pass out -> damn, i hope this isn't serious, oh no -> wow its great im still lucid enough to remember some of this for reference later

[tendous-socks]

TOKYO REVENGERS HEADCANONS OF ME BEING NON BINARY / REACTING TO SOMEONE BEING NON BINARY

tw: ⚠️⚠️kisaki⚠️⚠️ and manga spoilers, mentions of death, transphobia,

would misgender and dead-name me

1.kisaki.

must i need an explanation?��

2. shion

“ what’re you gonna do about it?? HUH?? WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT ???”

actively looks for a fight

… if y’all are in a relationship he’d still call you his “girl” but beats people up for doing so….

3. mucho

i get the vibes that he’s traditional

would silently stare in judgment

4. mochi

he just doesn’t care clslfkxkslk

thinks it’s weird

“ nor/mal”

7. rindou..

“you either have a pen or a vag. “

8.ran

“interesting”

*continues dead naming me*

9. KOKO

he would be nicer about it when he’s in toman due to inui… but once they’re separated- an ABSOLUTE MEANCE

… reluctantly apart of the protection squad with inui ( enjoys beating people up tho)

10. bontent mikey

… he’s just so tired and doesn’t really care ) that is if you’re not close with him… but then again how close can you really get?)

11. ) PAH CHIN

AND ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS IGNORANT AND HIS FATHER DIDN BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF AND HE DIDNT KNOW BUT THEN ( if y’all are close ) HE’D FEEL BAD AND AFTER YOU EXPLAINED IT TO HIM HE TOLD PEH CHIN TOO AND WERE SURPRISINGLY SUPPORTIVE

but if y’all ain’t close he would slowly get the hint… this is canon.

because i said so-

11. sanzu…

he’s quietly judging you

EDIT

SOMEONE SAID SANZU WOULD USE ANY PRONOUNS AND I REALLY LIKE THAT HC-

SO SANZU WOULD PROBABLY JUST ‘ SILENTLY JUDGE YOU’ SO OTHERS DONT CATCH ON MHMHM

12. akashi

traditional- plus it was a different era for him growing up so…

(would glare at someone if he really did see you getting emotionally distressed)

13. smiley

“ that’s one of the most stupidest shit ive ever fucking heard 😁”

.🙁

“ you either have tits or a dick “

.☹️

but would beat people up if you get SUPER upset ( call it his protect instincts with angry, but would send people to the hospital)

14. taiju

“ i wanna church girl who goes to church and reads her bible “

would spit at me

- WHO WOULD BEAT SOMEONE UP FOR DEAD-NAMING / MISGENDERING

1. PAH CHIN AND PEH YAN

THEYRE ABSOLUTE MENACES TO SOCIETY IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A GIRL / BOY

head canon : during tenjiku you were there and had to adjust your transtape cause it was coming lose 🙄

which is literally the most annoying thing in the world-

and shion saw you.

he came up and was like “ HUH WHAT’VE WE GOT HERE?? A GIRL PRETENDING TO BE A G-“

couldn’t even finish his sentence with how fast peh chin clocked his ass 🤭

( peh yan supremacy)

2. my main man takemichy

no explanation needed ( maybe deadnamed you only once cause he didn’t know)

3. inui cause i said so

5. BAJI BAJI

BAJI WOULD ALMOST KILL A DUDE FOR CALLING YOU YOUR DEAD NAME

i KNOW mama baji raised him right ✋🙄

almost clocked chifuyu when you told him about your first encounter kcksldofospdoco

almost clocked your mom when she said “you got it girlfriend”

she was confused when she saw you desperately trying to prevent the next criminal minds episode

best listener for body dystrophia fight me 🙉❤️

6. senju

*comes out*

“..oh okay! anyways as i was saying [preferred name] “

would need some gentle reminders only once or twice cause i will say it does take a bit of time for people to get used to it and there are always a few slip ups

tells akashi about your pronouns ( ONLY WITH YOUR CONSENT OFC)

( promises to try and be more girly if he calls you by them and your preferred name)

she wants you to go into more details about what you’re feeling cause she’s genuinely very interested about everything and she wants to know more about you.

7. emma 😻 vv supportive 🙌🙌

*sicks mikey and draken out on anyone who hurts your feelings

“you know [blah blah blah] from history?”

“of course yeah “

“yeah he ended up calling me slur during class- what’re you doing?”

*emma pulling out her phone

“hm? oh nothing don’t worry about it”

gave more insight about it to draken and mikey

8. HINA

YALL SAW HOW SHE SLAPPED MIKEY-

THIS GIRL WOULD D R A G A BITCH BY THEIR HAIR IF SHE SAW THEM BULLYING YOU

the one of correct takemichy

9. yuzuha

hina but 10x worse

trips transphobes for shit and giggles 🤪🤞

i like to think that the girls (all 4) would just all stare down a girl who was shit talking you and just pick her apart mercilessly ( a little ooc but this is my head canons so they can be whatever i say they are)

ones idk about

1. mikey

he knows that you can handle yourself so he lets you correct people.

or

sometimes he’ll jump in and correct them instead for one of two reasons.

1. he felt like it

2. they kept calling you your dead name and misgendering you EVEN THOUGH you already corrected them

but if the person ACTIVELY does that and says some… not so fruity things. he’ll send em to the hospital and end up on life support 😌☝️

like dom tertto, he cares about his family. and toman is his family, and you’re in toman ( not THAT kind of y/n way 🙄 )

“ BE WHO YOU AREE🌈🌈🌈🌈🤪🤞🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈”

1. draken

… listen… idk why, but i just don’t SEE him beating people up for misgendering me… well okay i kinda see it,

but he’d be like, “ i don’t understand what you’re going through, but i support you and if you want to talk about it i’m here”

wants to try and understand so like i said before, he lets you rant about what you’re feeling

would let you handle your own battles cause your strong enough to

a true king 😎🙌

does in fact throw punches when it gets REALLY BAD

2. angry

… idk h o w empathic he is and how mad he’d have to be on your behalf when people actively kept misgendering you to become the blue ogre.

but he’d just start crying at the confrontation.. 😐

my hero ig 🤥

3. izana

“ that’s fucking stupid”

*beats up middle aged woman who said for you to “ have a good day ma’am”

but if y’all close he’ll only say it’s stupid once when he sees you genuinely upset and ignoring him

“ be who you are.. 🌈”

4. kaku

same boat as izana, A LOT less judgmental

5. mitsuya

won’t hesitate to send a bitch flying

actively corrects people

( teaches luna and mana about your pronouns for the next time you come over 🕺🏻)

TAKES YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES

6. haitani brothers

*actively bullies you

*bullies kid into the grave for looking at your chest area

7. …hakkai

he accidentally slipped up once🤒

WHEN I SAY THIS MANS FACE WENT PALE- HE DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR A W E E K MINIUM CAUSE HE FELT SO BAD

YOU KEPT TELLING HIM THAT ITS FINE-

BUT HE FELT AWFUL

( has nightmares about it)

8. chifuyu would only do it in his mohawk era cause he wanted to seem metal and impress da boys 🥶🥶☝️☝️

pulled you aside at the end of the day to apologize

( like i said before, baji almost clocked him when you told him about your first encounter )

who am i kidding they’re all in gangs, they’d probably kill someone if they hurt you cospwpfoslief

——————

IF YALL GOT ANYMORE IDEAS LMK CAUSE IM INVESTED IN YHIS AND WANNA HEAR WHAT YALL THINK

[tannithvibes]

i got to thinkin about Angel Lives AUs and things i'd like to see in them (and any story focused on a char who's gone thru parental abuse) more often, things drawn directly from my own experiences.

like the re-learning, or learning in the first place, of social cues pertaining to what you've gone through. so much of it becomes normalized when it happens to you at such a young age that even when you Know better, it still gets overlooked. i was sitting at a table when i was 20 with other 20+ year olds all lamenting and laughing over shitty parents. i got them, i thought i understood where we all came from, and spoke up for the first time to laugh "oh yeah, my mom would stand over our beds at night with knife and contemplate killing us haha :)". everythin went dead silent as they all just were like...jordan that's fucked up, ya know? i did know, i Lived that, but...for a moment i forgot how terrible it was and i was ready to joke about it like it was something Every Bad Parent Did

give me an Angel who makes a joke about her dad locking her in a chair, pumping her full of eridium. an Angel who knows that's horrific but just thought for a moment her experiences were universal. it's hard to unlearn that shit, but its somethin rarely touched upon by writers who havent lived it. we might understand that what happened to us was wrong, but not all of us get the full extent of it even as adults. it's a hard truth to suddenly have hit you like a sack of bricks to the gut

sometimes i want a fic where the pain is glossed over bc it's easier that way...but sometimes i want to know im not the only kid who went through child abuse more sinister and fucked up than just beatings

(also not to say someone who only went thru that didnt have it as bad, it's not a competition and abuse of any kind sucks)