#i dont know if there are many mods to begin with that id want

[wampiryzm]

ok finished dav for the second time 👍 time to mod the fuck out of this game

[taocc-updates]

damn guess this is what happens when im gone for too long

im a little late to the discussion, but imma put in my two cents

tomb is definitely an interesting person, and i dont necessarily mean that in a bad way. hes just, as many have already said, got some issues with filtering himself. he doesnt filter what he says, and often doesnt stop and think about something before he reacts to it. this is definitely something he needs to work on, and something that has already caused problems in the past.

i think the other thing he has a big problem with, and ive noticed this a bit myself, is that he doesnt really know the difference between rp relationships and real relationships. whether thats between friends, family, or partners, he just has a hard time separating the characters from the mods. especially towards the beginning, back when i first showed up and sob was brand new, i noticed this. he often referred to me as sign, instead of lily, like id already said i preferred. he would misgender me, which i never thought would happen to me because i am very obviously female, and it got to the point where i was somewhat uncomfortable talking directly to him outside of rp.

but, the moment i pointed this out? he fixed it. it took a bit for him to adjust, but he fixed it. now, the way he talked to me didnt change, of course, but that was because i hadnt said anything to him about it. he just assumed it was okay to be openly flirty and suggestive with me because i hadnt said otherwise.

all this aside, i will say one more thing. i agree with elsie. lets not immediately jump to conclusions and block him and ban him from taocc and freak out, like we did with eebosh and moonshine. why? first of all, tomb has been a part of taocc from the very, very beginning and didnt have a single one of these problems then. i think the only reason he does now is because he has a lot of problems outside of tumblr and feels that this community is a safe space for him to express said problems. second, i feel like freaking out like that wouldnt really solve anything. if we want taocc to be open to more people and be found by more people, we dont want them to see this. wed seem like crazy sticklers who dont want anyone around and who have very strict rules.

anyways, this got really long really fast and i didnt mean for it to be. just know that this is what i think on the situation.

^^^^^

[reelybadfnafocs]

Here I go (oh boy, sorry for the terrible English, I’m actually Brazilian so this is hard) (i was about to be like holaaaaaaaa otro latino but then i remembred yall speak porch of geese fml. anyway hi. mod mangles on the case)

Name: Dolly the Dog

Species: Dog

Gender: Female

Job: The narrator of the shows/babysitter

Purpose: To help with the narration during the shows and to take care of the lost children in the establishment. Children are instructed to, if they ever lose sight of their parents, stay close to the stage and play with her; the parents are instructed to look there first. If the parents don’t come back to take their child, one of the employees has to discover where the child lives and take the poor kid home. If the kid is not comfortable with the employee, they can take their favorite animatronic to accompany them (this was only permitted after one incident, in which a girl made a scandal because she didn’t wanted to go with the day guard to her house). while i think the concept of a kid showing up to someone’s house with like a 6 ft furry robot is funny, i don’t see this really panning out in practice. as iffy as i am about it, i think the “babysitter/lost child center” thing can stay as is, but i think employees would defer to calling parents first (if the child is old enough to have memorized a phone number/have a phone), local authorities, or CPS.

Creator: Sarah Brown (another OC), the owner of the establishment and the creator of all the animatronics.

Location: The Showtime Funland, a restaurant for all the family (but specially for their children). It’s a vibrant, cheery and colorful place, where there are seven animatronics: Ollie the Owl, Billy the Bird, Fany the Fish, Charlie the Cat, Dolly the Dog, Happy and Lucky. Happy and Lucky are the only human-ish animatronics, and both of them are out of order during the game, and the others are the main actors of the stage, where they tell stories with musicals during the meals on the restaurant or just stay on the playground with the kids; the only one who can’t go to the playground during the day is Dolly, who’s programmed to stay and take care of the children waiting for their parents.

Where: On the stage; she sits on the front of the stage, on the right, and narrates the story that’s being performed.

Age: She’s the oldest animatronic: seven years of functioning. Her character is older than that, because of her old version, but since it was malfunctioning in a way which wasn’t even possible to take lightly, she was replaced by her new version. Her character is 14 years old. this is a little unclear to me…has she been in service for 14 years, or is the character supposed to be like a 14 year old child? i don’t think animatronics really need ages tbh but i dont see any issue with this either, so you can scrap this detail if you feel unsure about it.

Haunted/not: She is not haunted, but her program is malfunctioning; her AI is not recognizing the faces of the employees during the night for “unknown reasons”, and she attacks them as if they are “threats to the establishment”, in a way that she wasn’t programmed to do; she was supposed to call the police if any intruder came, but she becomes aggressive during the night because of someone meddling with her system.

During the game: The first thing the game shows is a cutscene, where the night guard is guided through the whole building by the day guard (called “Steve Hughes” by Annie, but it’s not known if this is the same day guard or not), and is introduced to the animatronics and told a bit of the story behind the establishment. It was created by Sarah Brown, a famous inventor, and was a well known establishment since its opening during the 80’s. During its history in business, there where countless robbers and stupid teenagers trying to get in and mess around with the things inside Funland, so the night guard was supposed to deal with these problems; but the animatronics, after a terrible incident in which the night guard was attacked by a robber, received a new AI capable of recognizing the faces of the employees and to give the night guard an alert if there was any intruder. The night guard is left alone to watch the cameras while listening to “Annie”’s recordings, since she was the last night guard, and discover about the malfunctioning of the AIs. In the third night, Annie quits, leaving the player with her guide about how to avoid the animatronics and with some recordings of how to flee if there’s something happening during the night (like a fire, for example) without getting caught. First, only Ollie and Fany are threats, but through night two and three Billy and Charlie too start to malfunction; in the end of night three, Dolly starts to do so as well. In the fifth night, Happy and Lucky also leave the deposit where they are hidden to attack the player. On the sixth bonus night, Annie left an odd recording of her and Sarah talking about the AIs of the animatronics, and Sarah implies that she knows of someone who would “do anything to make his business bigger than mine again, and wouldn’t hesitate to sabotage my creations”, as if she knows about the malfunctioning.

During the nights (3-5 (and bonus night)): She is the most predictable and organized of the animatronics, always making this specific path: first she leaves the stage, where she normally is, then goes through the playground (and stays there for a while), passes by the kitchen, through the deposit (where the audio doesn’t work, but the camera does), and then to the left corridor to the night guard’s office. She never changes her path, but as the game progresses she begins to become more and more fast and, since the other animatronics are more unpredictable, it’s harder to pay attention to her movements. Annie says, on her second recording, that she’s afraid of all the animatronics besides Dolly, since she is “the less threatening”; but, on her guide to escape on night four, she seems to have changed her mind (or it was a previous recording, before she labeled Dolly as “predictable and almost harmless”), it doesn’t chronologically make sense to have this be a previous recording, unless you intend to imply that annie went back and remade recordings for nights 1-3 right before she quit in addition to the night 4 guide. saying that “it would be best if you pay attention to her, since she’s fast and difficult to see without the flashlights”.

Skill: She tries to kill the player, first at the end of night three until night five (and the sixth bonus night). Dolly has a very advanced AI and is equipped with a recognition system, at least a hundred plays and stories on her memory, a voice system that helps her to change her voice when needed, the ability to sing, dance and interact with humans properly, and a system that can regulate her body heat. i was gonna say a hundred seems a bit much but idk how many stories the storyteller-esque animatronics are programmed to have tbh. if youre aiming to make the restaurant one of those cheaper places, id recommend scaling this number down.

Personality: During the day, Dolly is incredible cocky and arrogant when it comes to her role as the narrator, and she proclaims herself the “star of the show”, something her old version had but was even worse, coming to the extreme of pushing another animatronic off the stage and destroying it completely after getting annoyed by the poor robot. She’s kind with the children and the adults alike, but acts more politely with the elder and more sisterly with the younger audience; she says, during the game, that it’s horrible to never be able to go to the playground, but that she loves to take care of the lost children. During the night, she becomes a very aggressive but organized animatronic, something that her personality has during daytime as well; she is often annoyed by the others, since they sometimes go against the script for comic relief. Dolly is the most talkative of the animatronics during their attempts to kill the player, often bragging about her role as the narrator and star of the Showtime Funland and threatening to “end the show” of the night guard.

Appearance: A black and white dog (white on her mouth, chin, hands and belly), with big, glowing brown-yellowish eyes. Her ears are long and fall by the sides of her head, and she has paws instead of feet, but still has hands. She wears a magician hat with a blue bow on it, and sometimes during her show takes it off, just to reveal something inside of it that can help during the play (for example, a sword so that the protagonist can slay the dragon or a pie to the little protagonist give as a gift to a friend); she also wears a blue bowtie that matches her hat’s bow.

ok, final thoughts:

i was going to comment on how high-quality these animatronics seem to be, but given that you go out of your way to describe Sarah Brown as a very competent mechanic(? is that the right term idk), i think ill let it go. this seems like one of those higher end fancy-ish restaurants so most of this can slide, unlike if you were to make the location be some sort of cheap or dirty diner.

no notes on the story, i think it works well. the game seems to have kind of a steep difficulty spike towards the latter half with nights 3, 4, and 5, but thats not really an issue i think because you deal with more shit on fnaf 2 anyway. there were some iffy bits here and there, but nothing too bad that was worth pointing out or changing, so overall this is a solid character! good job :D

~mod mangle

[wcamino-confessions]

 i responded to the origional post about me a few months back. blocked out my friend who doesnt want to be mentioned along with other people. i was a little agressive due to the stress. 

 this is regarding the post about me, ten. starting from the beginning- im still good friends with bunbun and we dont have anything against each other. while i was dating bunbun, its true that i gradually lost feelings for her overtime but i thought it was natural for that to happen?? bunbun later told me that she wanted to break up and i agreed without arguing or conflict. she then later told me that her friends peer pressured her into breaking up- and that she didnt want to do it in the first place. of course, i did my best to comfort her. side note- i asked her if she was sure if she wanted to break up with me and she said yes.

the other thing that was true is i started to date my other friend a day after the break up. i admit, it was a dick move but i was honestly not in the right mind set since i felt guilty on the way i treated bunbun. and i vented on my wall/wiki for that reason. then desikari commented on one of my vents (keep in mind that i specifically said not to comment/reply to my vents) to get over it. i didnt know who they were at the time, so i asked bunbun about it. she said that was one of her friends and told me to block them to prevent me from getting hurt furthee, and i did.

 me and bunbun continued to talk before she disappeared and later found out that she tried to commit suicide. ofc i was shocked and devastated, but she never once mentioned that it was because of me. 

the other thing that was true is that i dated my other friend back in december of 2018. she (lets call her berry) and bunbun liked each other but never really dated, bunbun later then got together with someone else. fast forward a few months, berry and i got together but our relationship wasnt the best. i shamefully admit im in the wrong for being so hurtful towards berry, i never meant to hurt her at all. i was immature and selfish, too blind. i promised myself that i will get better, i learn from my mistakes and past relationships. 

i always thought bunbun was 13- she stated that in her bio many times. her and i dated when i was 15. i didnt know until i saw that she was feeling sad- and i asked her if shes okay, she said no. her friends were betraying her because she told them her age (11) before telling me herself. i told bunbun that it was okay and were still friends no matter what, it made her feel better. (note: this happened a couple of months after the break up.)

from what bunbun told me about your relationship, is that it wasnt good either. she told me you were too pressuring and didnt like it, she said that she was going to break up. she did- and she felt really bad, then ended up in the hospital. i never guilt tripped her into doing anything. trust me, if her account wasnt banned i could screenshot our pm with permission.

we never talked before sunglow (im assuming) and we dont know much about each other. i dont got any beef with you, but please dont twist people words to make you look better and dont start any rumours either. when you made that post about me a few months back, i told bunbun and she said none of that is true, before asking the mod to take down the post.

if you want to say something to me, dont be afriad and dm me on the amino. and id like it if you dont shit to me or to other peoplem thanks!!

[unfortunatematchups]

its been real, guys.

this blog came to be because four people had a shared passion and wanted to make something out of it. maybe the amount of love we had to this blog wasnt all equal, some of us loved homestuck and writing match ups more than the others.

but as this blog ages, so does our love for homestuck. with homestuck 2 absolutely destroying everything ive come to love about homestuck, ive found that i actually have a weaker grasp and understanding on the characters than i actually do. i can no longer find myself able to match people accurately to my liking.

ive done all i could, really, genuinely, truthfully and painfully. ive done my best not to let homestuck 2, beyond the absolute garbage fire of what i cant bring myself to consider canon, affect how i see and feel about the kids. the trolls havent suffered much slander on their part, not yet anyway. i still love the trolls i love, but the same cant be said for the kids. knowing that this is how the kids turn out to be is crushing and ruins everything ive come to know and love about the characters, even if i never liked some of them that much anyway.

its like watching or reading a horrifying scene or truth about something you love. it taints the image and starts to make you really doubt just whether or not you really knew that thing you claim to love. throughout homestuck 2 ive just been asking myself, ‘is this really the same story?’

i probably shouldnt let some botched writing ruin my perception of what i love. but the damage has been done. theres no point in me writing the characters as they were in homestuck, pretending that what they do in homestuck 2 didnt happen. the final statement is that homestuck 2 hurt the love i had for homestuck, and while im upset that i let it do so, theres nothing i can do. im not going to try and revitalise the passion i had. ive better things to obsess over, and i refuse to waste it on homestuck.

im writing this so that any of you following this blog or have the intent to can see this and reevaluate whether or not you really want to follow or keep following. right now theres nintey-four people following, and id be lying if i said i wasnt surprised by how many people actually like the stuff were making.

a part of why im making the grand decision to close this blog is because its run its course. like my previous post stated, im the only one still writing for it. the other writer has other shit going on and so do i. im not going to force the other mods to write for this blog, and neither am i going to force myself to choke out something. i know when something is dying, and i know when to let it rest. the last post i made, i still had a little bit of fight left in me. i thought that if someone came in with a stupid good request, it would reignite that flame and let me get back into the groove of writing. it didnt. theres a lovely five part request that gives me plenty of inspiration, but i was kidding myself.

by the time id made that post, i think its safe to say that most of us lost that spark of adrenaline we had in the beginning. there was a slim chance i was going to keep it running, and the wheel didnt land on it.

i thought i knew the characters. and maybe i do, but not as closely as i once did. i no longer have the ability to write up something that matches bits and pieces of both personalities together to form a complete, satisfying puzzle. im just staring at a paragraph of bullshit that i cant string together long enough to properly read it, let alone make a response to it. im losing whatever investment i put into homestuck, and its showing. i havent even thought about homestuck all that much in these few months. thats not to say i wont still love john, dave and equius, but they take less space in my heart than they used to.

another part of why im closing this blog is so i wont have to have it nagging at the back of my mind. since february ive always kept this blog in the back of my mind, checking in on it once every few weeks to see if theres a new ask or follow. and there is. people are still following this blog, waiting for a response, waiting for the content that this blog provided. im not going to lie, there probably wont be. maybe i can refurbish it for something else, but as of now, this blog is going to be left alone. 

thats all. thanks for taking the time to read this. theres no proper way to explain why this blog is closing, so this is the best i can and will do. its been real, and im glad i could make some people happy with the matches. 

to mod spaghetti, thanks for checking in on this blog from time to time, giving ur lil posts here and there, and helping with some of the matches. stay vibin, cryptid.

to mod pie, thanks for writing those non homestuck requests. i dont know how to comfort people, so i hope the memes im sending you help, even if by a little. keep vibin with ur nasty owo shit

and to mod tamago. thanks for those late night editing sessions where i would just vomit words and youd clean up the mistakes. who knew i made so many, huh? heres to hopefully getting any grade above c for our future modules.

[minecraftoworymode]

local admin discovers this CRAZY life hack, other admins HATE him! click to find out more -->

no but seriously what the hell kind of drama is bad enough that you kill one of your best friends and torture the other for an unspecified but presumably quite lengthy amount of time? did fred start kinning one of romeo’s ‘no doubles’ IDs? did they accuse romeo of being a homestuck and, having no way to deny the truth, he killed them in a blind panic? they didn’t play romeo’s nine-hour oblivion mod and he took this as a supreme betrayal? romeo wouldn’t get off the xbox when it was xara’s turn? what led to them fighting “for control of the world”?

i mean, given how much romeo wants friends you’d think that for him to consciously yeet the only ones he had there’d have to be a really good reason for it, right? right??

[well, at least it’s free real estate. everything in this post is headcanon territory, so to save both of us the trouble of having to read “i think” or “probably” or “evidence suggests” every two sentences i’ll be speaking as if this actually happened. but if anyone else has an idea of what the heck happened, i’d love to hear others’ takes!!!]

big Fs in the chat tonight, pals. for all that he wants people to like him, romeo is really, really, REALLY bad at going about it like a normal person. (ESPECIALLY in canon. like. frankly it’s almost to the point of seeming intentional because NO ONE can be that dense about being such an absolute and utter scoundrel. who does things that actively malicious without being aware of how hurtful it is? even capitalists generally know they’re being bastards. canon, man. i dont know.)

but- he wasn’t always quite that bad at it. it’s just that once you’ve tripped and spilled paint all over your canvas, and also you have god powers that give you infinite copies of other peoples’ paintings, it’s a lot easier to plug your ears chuck the canvas in the trash and go LA LA LA, MUST’VE BEEN THE PAINT’S FAULT instead of admitting you made a mistake, cleaning up the mess you made, and trying again.

the admins’ friendship was the canvas. here is the paint.

romeo really wants people to be his friends, and he couldn’t have had better ones than fred and xara. and honestly? he was perfectly fine with leaving behind everything and everyone else he’d ever known- all he needed were the other admins, no one and nothing else. dependency whoms’t? but for fred and xara, whose stances on relationships were , just a bit healthier than that- as much as they loved romeo- they missed the people they’d left behind.

romeo had invited them here- first xara, then fred- and while he’d of course agreed to let them go back whenever they asked they’ve- like, the idea hasn’t really seriously come up in... it’s been a very long while. i’m still working on the exact timeline here but it’s been- he’d almost completely forgotten about it, actually. they, on the other hand... hadn’t. 

it’s like a freaking 2x combo double whopper whammy of being abandoned and also not being “enough” that hits romeo right in the heart nuts. but hey! necessity (or what he thought necessity) is the mother of invention, and for all that he thinks himself stupid he figured out a solution- more than a solution, even! he could do them one better than bringing them the people they missed. he would bring them the people they wanted.

the custom npcs mod allows you to create, well, npcs. it allows you to set their schedules, dialogue, stats, appearance, etc. and you do most of it by right-clicking with a hoe which i find hilarious but ANYWAY romeo came up with something similar. at first, his constructs were... not very convincing, but a little help from a bright-eyed friend made them almost indistinguishable from real people. (herobrine is another post, but for the record this isn’t even the biggest crap he’s pulled.)

he was so excited, presenting his gift to fred and xara. look, i was thinking- you said you missed that one roommate, right, even though they always left the door open and didn’t put food away? ta-dah! look at that, closing the door like a gentleman! and you were missing your counsellor, right? well, miss no more! they’re programmed to always be there for you- you never have to worry about scheduling or other patients, here’s someone who will always care! and that’s not all- if you’ve been having trouble with any of your moderators- or even the normal humans, those are fun too sometimes- this lets you change their mind! literally! no more arguing about what colour to make the new concrete blocks, no more fighting over who gets the first seat in the rollercoaster, you’ll never have to deal with any of that ever again-! ... hey, why aren’t you- why do you- why are you looking at me like that? xara? ... fred?

yeah, it... doesnt go over too well. the tool ends up broken, and romeo promises to not use it again- though only because it upset fred and xara, not because he really saw anything wrong with it. and he keeps that promise for a time. of course the paint can is already leaking, but romeo doesn’t see that yet. none of them really see what’s coming, not fully. how could they? no one wants to think the worst of the ones they love.

but they’re all understandably... tense, and romeo always tended to look to people to vent his emotions, and- the person who would come to be the warden  has a huge fight with romeo, right in front of fred and xara’s salad. like. it’s really bad. they’re both on the verge of tears and the warden SLAMS the door as he leaves, which does make romeo cry. and the other two are like... hey... do you want anything... some cake...? prog rock...? we can cuddle...? n romeo’s usually already invited himself to one or more of those things by now but instead of throwing himself into their arms and wailing he’s just, standing there silently, tears streaming down his face, looking of all things pensive. and next in the series of many shocking things to come, he does something he’s never done before: he brightens and says, “i’m going to fix this,” before resolutely walking out the door.

fred and xara are like. oh my god. is- is he actually going to talk out his feelings and problems? is this- is healthy open communication here? did we do it? have we reached the mental wellness? is it finally happening? n romeo comes back a few hours later with his arm around the warden’s shoulders and they're both smiling and laughing and it sounds like everything's worked out just fine. in fact, after that, a bunch of people who’d had beef with romeo in the past seem to work things out with him, all parties seeming genuinely happier for it. romeo’s made a real change! fred and xara have never been more proud, more relieved, or more wrong.

he can’t lie to his friends. he can lie to everyone else, up to and including himself, but not to the ones he loves. it’s just... they’d been so happy, and he’d never seen anyone that proud of him, and, and...

that doesn’t go over too well either. and he should really make the tool out of something other than like, wood, so it stops getting broken so easily? he certainly has time to do so- the silence that follows is the longest the admins have ever gone without talking to one another. in retrospect they probably should’ve known that things were only going to get worse from there, but could you blame fred and xara for hoping beyond hope that- since they were always the ones to drag romeo out of his sulking and brooding- him coming to them first was a sign that he’d changed, for real this time? and the way he starts the conversation- by saying how the admins’ absence has impacted the people in their care- it’s certainly promising.

but- ah, what’s that line? something like,

"Oft expectation fails, and most oft there Where most it promises; and oft it hits Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits."

there are very, very few things that make fred visibly angry. not that things don’t ever make them mad, it’s just that their dedication to living their best life means that they’re generally able to keep a firm grip on how they express their emotions. but for romeo to brainwash- no, worse than brainwash- they don’t even have a word for it- fred’s own people? they’re called their friends for a reason! it doesn’t MATTER that he thought it’d make fred happy- did he think, for even a moment, about listening to what they’d said? does he not realize how absolutely vile it was to do that? the others are real people, too! all of them, not just the ones he considers his friends- do you even understand what that word means, romeo? "friend"?

what really burns is that fred isn’t just angry- they’re disappointed. they’re scared. they’re just as hurt as he is, which is just- how DARE they?! ROMEO’S the one who’s being yelled at! why are THEY crying?! (they’re all in tears now, actually, but romeo doesn’t notice his own.)

a deep breath. fred asks him to undo what he’s done. romeo doesn’t move.

a tense heartbeat. fred asks again, and takes a step forward. this time romeo flinches back.

there’s not a single quark between the three of them right now not on edge. it feels like the air before a lightning strike. something’s going to break. none of them are backing down. maybe none of them can because, if romeo’s not going to do it himself- fred takes a final step forward and asks, remarkably calmly, for romeo to give them the tool.

and then he does! and they apologize to each other for not having been more open about their feelings and defining and maintaining their boundaries and then they make up and have a really good hug and it’s great, everything’s great, and this is probably the mental image romeo tried to fall asleep to before realizing that that wouldn’t stop the nightmares and just giving up on the whole “resting” thing. 

if you’re beginning to notice a pattern here with things really not going well, you might just be onto something about romeo’s behaviour. but to be fair none of them had gone into this situation expecting a fight- it was just, fred tried to take the tool and romeo instinctively pulled his weapon and- none of them realized quite how long fred had been losing blood? romeo had been lashing out, fred had been trying to take something he was holding while also trying to defend themself, xara had been trying to protect fred (and was also lashing out too, just a little)- i mean, they realized. eventually. and by that point honestly accidentally stabbing them wasn’t going to do anything the life force loss hadn’t, so like... 

okay, brief side note: as operator, romeo’s existence maintains the mcsm universe. he can’t die, even if he wants to. xara and fred had the next best deal (arguably anyway), in that they could only be truly hurt by one thing: the person who’d given them administrative powers in the first place. which happened to be the same person who’d, like, just stabbed his best friend and was now staring in open horror as said friend’s skin flickered back to its original appearance before-

just like that they were gone. just like that. the lack of body and inventory really should’ve tipped them off that something wasn’t right, but for all that they both replay that moment in their minds for years to come they somehow never consider that fred wasn’t quite dead. and romeo had always had such an imagination! but maybe it was for the best that they didn’t consider it, anyway. ... maybe it was for the best.

it doesn’t have to almost kill xara for romeo to take her powers, but it does anyway because if romeo made a lot of stupid decisions before that’s just gotten amped up to eleven now that 90% of his impulse control is gone.

oh.

oh no.!!

romeo watch out almost a millennium of unprocessed trauma and grief is sneaking up on you- romeo- oh my god he can’t hear us he has minecraft airpods in- romeo oh nO

anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk! tune in next time to hear about the fallout of romeo’s actions across multiple worlds and the group of dissidents whose entire existence is to, well, diss romeo, aka soren’s cult. in conclusion:

[lizzodorito]

quick vent

because i legit have no where else to put this sort of feeling and just.. writing it in a book or a doc just... isnt as cathartic. Hope this just fades into the void, please dont bother reading it.

Hey. screw proper grammar and spelling I just need to get thihis out.

my name is liz and hoenstly fuck this website because last time i actively used it for something other than mandolorian memes or sims mods/cc my ex boyfriend was fucking stalking me on it and catfishing me and comfort me by sending me those ask lists and i... i dunno if im over that. Fuck you Sven.

not the point, just wha t I have to think about every single damned time I find myself here no matter what.

I am so lonely. I dont have many friends at all and the ones I do are out to use me or not Get Into It with me, thouhg fair because im a shit load of a lot to deal with i guess. other friends i have are pretty backstabbing and they refuse to properly grow up and LIVE and THINK FOR OTHERS AND ALSO THINK FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT IT HAVING TO BE DEFINED BY HOW PROUDLY TERRIBLE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IS FUCK

And then i get shit for it

love being used guys hell yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  no i dont i hate it so much literally when was the last time anyone loved me right outside of my family and even so its not like my parents treat me well. mother you may have improved drastically,  but similar to my self esteem, its still very much BELOW PAR and i hate having to witness both.

I am so lonely.

I go so long without saying any word sometimes, its a wonder i stil breath, although sometimes when i was young id forget to.

why is it that i get more depressed when i come back to the family home

does anyone else understand being family oriented to a family that really for the majority doesn’t treat you the same?

The voice in my head wont stop. it wont stop telling me all  the ways i have potentially fucked my budding friendships with my new friends isha and matt 

how am i a person who shares so little yet so much

BUT MY LORD THANK YOU these are people who... who are considerate and are processing what i am saying and are thinking of me

but how fucked up am i

and will that push them away

im often distasteful but all the same complex and layered and so useful and so interesting

and that’s why often enough it seems people dont put in the effort, or frankly, dont give a shit about me once i requrie effort, though their “care” for me beofre then was only for their own benefit.

im exhausted 

One of my best internet friends was raped and i was the one who revealed that to her and she just didnt realize it yet and i havent been able to fall asleep without thinking about it

i have needed to cry for over a week now and i haVent gotten to still i am so sad i am SO SAD

I am so charming yet cannot help being alone no matter how enjoyable i am for others to have around

Matt

He makes me question if im asexual

But I am only a human

porbably deifntieyl still asexual

but too much all the same 

Im just lonely and touch starved probably (more than usual to be clear) and want to be hugged and loved and he’s so smart and we talk for hoours and comfortably, for me, occupy eachothers’ space we talk for 

hours.

this is becoming poetry.

I feel like i am beginning to sound like a hobo johnson broken record

stop being poetic fuck off liz

he;s so 

I havent been hopeful like this in people for a long time

we went to a museum to support isha (she had to do a project that invovled socializing so ya know the inrovert crew (though i dont know fi matt considers himself one)) and we just were togeter (in rather close proximinity) just speaking in accents, partly hoping to excite the strangers crowding everywhere about “foriegners” being here at the exhibit... but i think it was mostly just for us. for our fun 

because voices is what we like to do

i love voice acitng 

he committed to it, i fell out of it more times than he did and he gets more specific with accents than i do

he likes what i do

he loves the characters and my many talents

he loves my writing

he wants me to join his dnd campaign over the summer with his friends

is it for me?

does he want... me

or just my character maggie that everyone loves

he wants me to join the campign he’s in npw with his friends, as he’s a player character and not a dm as he would be over the summer

he doesn’t quite get how lonely i am

i worry i made him and isha uncomfortable last night... i joked about actually being loved properly

he immediately looked at me strange, me not realizing the joke was taken as truth

“Liz, is there something you need to talk about?”

“Oh! Oh, well, um...” hi i come from an abusive family and you both dont realize how much it meant to me that you wanted me to come and are consitently telling me and thanking me for coming because... you’re telling me im good company and its been so long since i have had real friends or gone out with friends and ACTUALLY FULLY AND COMPLTELY HAD A GOOD TIME OH MY GOSH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW I AM SO SHY ABOUT ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HOLY FUCK I CANT EVEN ASK HOW I BECAME SUCH A BASKET CASE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW I ALRWADY KNOW I ALREADY KOW I ALRADY KNOW AND I HAVENT’ GOTTEN TO REALLY TELL ANYONE IN SO LONG WITHOUT THEM LEAVING ME 

its been so long since ive been understood by a peer

(hi my name is liz and i am weepign right now)

“No, not yet at least.”

*isha laughs and it joined by matt soon. I’m smiling comfortably. I genuinely have a soft, contented hope i might get to tell them at least some of it one day.*

“not yet at least! sorry matt you have to be at least a level 4 friend to learn the tragic backstory”

thank you isha for lightening the mood

thank you for making the joke so many people who gave less than a fuck about me got offeneded at and confused when i made it so often years ago.

my comment was laughed off, we continued to watch the critical role espidoe i had missed

soon it was just matt and i. isha was to bed.

just him and i, and i, like id been all night (concious but making the decision to pipe down and trust the people around me), was all curled up, very relaxed and off my posture, sinking into the couch. MAtt was always upright ish. sometimes hed sink a bit or rest his hips on their side curl a little rest his head, but not as intesely as i did

sometimes he’d scoot closer to me, sometimes hed scoot away. sometimes hed move his legs so our knees would touch. i dont mind (not because i was finding it romantic, im not twelve, i just am understadning of the small situation we are in and its a knee for crying out loud) i wonder if i was taking up too much space with the way i’d sit comfortaly. I wonder if he thought so.

i would be lying if i said i didnt imagine us actually having contact with eachother. cuddling platonically.. on multiple occassions.

I have an imagination that thinks of everything and so many scenarios all at once and all the time after all

i was comfortable with the idea but

it would be a bigger lie to say i wasnt absolutely and perfectly content wiht the way it did go.

i dont thiink i will ever know if he was comofrtable on that couch or more so if it was me he was comfortable or uncomfrtoable with. 

I will respect him to tell me.

he;s good at eyecontact and its comfrotable enoguh where i dont have to look away (it’s been a problem i never used to  have recently)

I’d peek up at him when he’d talk to me

i felt young again

when the stream was over he got up to leave.

i dont know if we daudled. dawdled? yep thats the word

i dont know if we did

we made small talk

shitty jokes that he declared wouldn’t be the last thing we said to eachother that evening

i agreed.

the last words that night were goodnights.

me with my raspy evening voice from a day full of talking and him with a look over the shoulder from the hall as the door closed behind him

he was obviosuly very slap happy sleepy as he was talking about the light not being too bright in the hall (to his happiness)

it was a nice night

when was the last time i went to bed so happy? thanking God over and over and praying for my friend i mention way earlier

i didnt even have to drown my insomnia with a youtube video

i just went to sleep

2 am

i hope the weather continues

- jaques cruzio, pink panther

now im just in bed

at the family home

not my dorm

fighting my depression (its been three hours, i was getting exhausted by 9:30 due to it) as i rest

i was curled in a ball, slumped and face planted, arms slumped when i decided i need to talk to someone, or say something mroe than what i vented to my little sister (small bits about how lonely i feel and how i worry ive fucked things up) hours ago

and here we are 

12:14 am

just some broken twenty something asexual with a mind that’s usually over sixty talking about the amazing people i met two weeks ago while in the background i think about the girl i used to be the boss of (online moderator work) and how she’s essentially in love with her idea of me and how i make her feel... and not just for me.

i am mysterious and cool and smart and hot and talented and useful to her.

I want to be complex and dedicated and helpful and pretty and so skilled and hardworking and wanted for me.

i want to  be considered and deserving and im hoping that isha, matt and my other two roommates can help start to fill that hole in my life

because, God, so far they have so much potential for it in my eyes

(so far)

thanks for listening, void.

actually feeling quite a bit better. the misery is still lingering, i wonder if i should cry more. But, i can breathe easier and my eyes dont feel dead. I just am tired and am prepared to enjoy things again.

proabbly will watch claire from BA make jelly beans.

or the Noel Miller guy isha told me about.

I dont know if it’s appropriate if i downloaded matt’s contact into my phone from when isha put us both in a groupchat together and i hope its not weird and i hope maybe he did the same, but by God i dont think i’ll be texting him first.

i like in person better.

with anyone.

always have

i have so much more on my mind

[akaiitokoibito]

Hello! Id like a, Ouran and Mystic Messenger Matchup,please. Im a 5'10 virgo,hufflepuff,with short brown curly hair and blue eyes, i enjoy writing and drawing i have a love for aquatic animals, and the ocean and cats, im a very timid and nervous person wjen you first meet me but after a while i can get noisey, i dont quite like noisey people but i can warm up to them pretty fast.

Hello hello! Mod Camellia, here~ After careful consideration, we’ve pinned your soulmates to be Hitachiin Kaoru from OHSHC and Zen from Mysme!

“I can’t believe you actually accepted…”

You didn’t particularly like Kaoru at first; in fact, you sort of found him and his brother slightly annoying for constantly interrupting class with their jokes.

But, with the eye of an artist, you began observing them a little closer. You couldn’t help but notice the bittersweet smiles that one twin would wear as his brother teased Fujioka Haruhi.

Eventually, you agreed to your friends’ insistent pleas and finally came to the Host Club. You claimed it was to gain inspiration for drawing: pretty boys did tend to make great models, after all.

Kaoru didn’t really notice you until one day, when he had lingered a bit behind Hikaru (wondering how much longer their pumpkin carriage would last), you approached him and asked if he was alright.

He could tell by the way that you stared at his feet that you were probably nervous, so he didn’t try the usual “flirty host” approach and shot you a smile. “Don’t worry about me.”

To his surprise, you frowned. “Why shouldn’t I?”

He paused, then gave you a half-smile. “Thanks for your concern. I’ll…I will be alright.”

Ever since then, he couldn’t help but notice you sketching during class (he resisted the urge to call you out on it: the teacher still hadn’t caught on to the fact that you doodled over your notes and he didn’t want to bring unnecessary attention to you).

The professor, an unknowing catalyst to your relationship, paired you two together for an assignment. Well, technically he paired you and Hikaru, but Kaoru had generously agreed to switch with his twin so that Hikaru would spend time with Haruhi. (”Don’t tell anyone, though,” Kaoru whispered to you, grinning sheepishly. “I promise I’ll do my best for the project. It’ll probably be better than what Hikaru can do, anyways.” You couldn’t help but laugh, but acquiesced.)

Thanks to the project, you two grew closer and you began opening up to him.

You two started talking to each other more, sharing interests. During club hours, you’d always be watching him; whenever there was a special event, you’d make sure that Kaoru would never be alone. (He appreciated your company a lot, even though he never could vocalize his gratitude. His more genuine smiles said everything, though.)

Your first date was to the aquarium. Sort of. In actuality, the Host Club had dragged their customers to another outing and you decided to accompany Kaoru to see the dolphins. He was supposed to go around helping the other customers, but it wasn’t his fault that you smiled so cutely while pressed against the glass in an attempt to get a closer look. He bought you a stuffed dolphin. The clerk mistook you two as a couple and dang, you didn’t realize that you were head-over-heels for Kaoru until after the man pointed out how sweet he was to you.

Kaoru realized, the next day, that his heart didn’t hurt as much whenever his unknowingly enamored brother went off with Haruhi; it was because of your constant company.

So, to the surprise of everyone, he asked you out at the end of the day after club activities. (Ouran fangirls, being chill for the most part, squealed and took pictures. Hikaru later accosted them so they’d send him the pictures for blackmail.) It was really cheesy, too. (You later learn that Kaoru is a highkey romantic.) His entire monologue about how kind, sweet, and genuinely amazing you are was lost amidst the loud thumping of your heart.

Hikaru wholeheartedly approves of your relationship. Eventually. He didn’t really notice how close you two were before Kaoru asked you out, but he can tell you make his brother happy and that’s enough for him.

The rest of the Host Club, after Kaoru’s confession, accept you as part of the family and basically treat you two as if you’ve married already.

Your first official date is to a fancy restaurant. It’s usually not your style, but Kaoru had been planning the date for ages and you’d do anything to make him happy. He had everything planned down to the last detail, but the plan went down the drain once a waiter spilled a drink on you.

You two exited the restaurant. It was raining. Kaoru was highkey freaking out about all of the unlucky things that occurred, so he called Hikaru. Unusually enough, his twin had pretty good advice: “just yolo, bro, she’ll like anything as long as she does it with you.”

Kaoru turned to you, asked if you just wanted to ditch the plan completely, and grinned as you kicked your heels off and grabbed your much more comfortable shoes out of your purse. (They were killing you. Also, with them, you were three inches taller than Kaoru and he had been trying to figure out a way to kiss you without seeming awkward.)

You two rain through the rain (in retrospect, probably not the best idea: you got sick, but Kaoru dropped by with a large basket of items ranging from high-class cuisine soup to fancy thermometers gathered by himself and the Host Club so that was a plus) and stumbled upon a small pet shop.

Your smile while adoring the kittens seemed to light up the room, in Kaoru’s eyes.

“Your drawings are beautiful, you know that?”

You two met at one of the RFA’s parties. You had been talking with Jumin about cats, exuding their many virtues, when the CEO needed to take a call.

You happened to spot Zen standing to the side of the ballroom, a small smile on his face as he watched all the guests interact with one another. One of your friends was a huge fan of him, which is why you approached him to ask for his autograph.

He couldn’t understand your request at first, since you were sort of nervous and blurted it out too quickly. He noticed you were feeling nervous, though, and smiled at you (making you more nervous, in all honesty: talking to gorgeous models isn’t really something you do everyday). “Say, you were talking with that Jumin Han, right? Are you his business associate?”

“Ah, no,” you refuted, ducking under your bangs. “I just found out he likes cats like I do. That’s all.”

You noted that Zen twitched and his smile seemed a bit more strained. “Ah, cool. So, an autograph for your friend, you said? How generous~ here, I’ll even throw in one of my selfies.”

“Uh, you don’t have to–”

“I insist!”

You left the party thinking that your friend’s adored idol was…weird, but an alright person. Just out of curiosity, you checked his social media account (was it his? or a bot?) and couldn’t help but note that he wasn’t just a pretty face…but a hard worker, if the pile of scripts strewn across the floor in the background of some of his pictures was any indication. When you gave your friend his autograph, she squealed and immediately deigned herself the duty of introducing you to Zen’s many wonders.

You actually liked his acting a lot: you could tell he put a lot of effort into creating his role. When you were invited to the party again, you couldn’t help but look for him.

“I really liked your role in that one film!” you blurt out as soon as you see him. This makes Zen pause: he’s met a lot of fangirls at RFA parties, to be honest, but it’s rare to meet somebody who appreciates his acting…especially for such an obscure film like that. “How much time did you put into it?”

Zen laughs, rubbing the back of his neck almost sheepishly. “Three hours a day, to be honest. I’m not a great actor yet, so I need to work harder.”

You leave the party thinking: yeah, he’s definitely not just a pretty face.

Each party afterwards, you two begin talking more and more. At first, it was just about his roles, but then he started asking about you. Once he found out about your passion for writing, he couldn’t help but ask to see some of your work.

You were nervous as you handed him a script you wrote just the other day with his acting in mind. Somewhere down the line, you grew to value his opinion a lot. Finally, he looked up, his gaze piercing as he said slowly, “Darling, I’d love it if I could act out one of your scripts someday.”

That’s the needle that breaks the camel’s back. You muster enough courage to ask for his number, and you two exchange contact information. He sends you selfies everyday, with just the little things. (”Working hard for that play!” “Thanks for cheering me up, last night.”) You send him little doodles back, which is how he finds out about your passion for drawing. (He loves your drawings, and won’t hesitate to compliment them. “Babe, they’re amazing.”)

One day, you receive a drunk call from him. “[Y/N], I can’t do this anymore,” he complains, the usage of your name shocking you. “I like talking to you too much.”

“I…like talking with you, too, Zen. Is there a problem?”

“I wanna talk to you everyday.”

“We do talk to you everyday.” 

“Every. Day,” Zen insists. There’s some unintelligible murmuring, then one of the RFA members come on the phone.

“Uh, is this [Y/N]? Hi, I’m Yoosung…uh, sorry about that…usually I’m the one drunk calling people ahaha, but I guess he’s a bit off today. Listen…I don’t want to sound presumptuous or rude…but…Zen really likes you, you know.” (In fact, you don’t know. But regardless, your heart beats faster.) “I just don’t want to see him being led on…”

“I’m not,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. There’s silence on the other line, then Yoosung snickers and thanks you.

Zen calls you the next day, completely mortified. He apologizes, and you…well, you suddenly lose all of your social grace and composure. “Do you like me?”

There’s silence on the other side of the line, then Zen lets out the cutest laugh you’ve ever heard. “Heh, was I that obvious?” His voice is strangled.

“Sort of,” you laughed.

“Then…do you like me?” There’s hope lining his voice.

“Did you think I didn’t?” you ask, because you know that you’ve been pretty obvious.

You two get together after that.

Although he called you plenty of pet-names before, mostly as a joke (”babe” and “darling” being two of them), Zen’s actually somewhat shy to call you such now, which is cute.

Zen wants to take you to the aquarium for your first date, but you learn of his love for the stars and instead insist on going to the planetarium. It’s an enjoyable night, nonetheless; Zen says a cheesy pick-up line that makes you laugh (he immediately flushes in mortification, but you just lean in closer to him and tell him he’s cute).

The RFA, after lengthy background checks to make sure you weren’t trying to con Zen (Yoosung was your staunch defender; after that one phonecall, he could tell that you both were enamored with each other and made one another happy), invited you to their chat.

Although Zen doesn’t like cats, he puts up with the pictures you and Jumin exchange for you. (You’re considerate enough not to beg for a pet cat when you move in with him, though, and instead you two raise a blue Paradise Beta you name “Crystal” -- Zen insisted on the name because he said the fish’s color reminded him of your crystal-blue eyes.)

Hope you enjoyed it, @matchups-and-stuff!

~ Mod Camellia

[kalon-confessions-blog]

Hello my dears,

[asap if you will tree]

phew okay so please please bare with me on this, it's going to be long and rambling and im sure it will jump back and forth a lot so you've had a fair amount of warning :p

im going to start off with the long "essay" posts from yesterday, just to kinda get my foot hold on things c: and guys please understand that in writing this i am really not trying to come off as rude or attackful or anything, and i apologize if i do or if i come off overly "unprofessional" it seems a lot of the time when i try to be super professional i come off as condescending or cold and when i try to be a bit more relaxed im just being silly or unprofessional.

"artists not doing anything for months and then getting to come back whenever they want, taking up a slot that could’ve been an active artist filled with energy and vigor to create instead."

I've seen this mentioned a lot ,, the whole slot thing. the thing is guys, that we don't have a set number of "slots" on staff ,, really we base what we think we need on how efficiently the staff we currently have is functioning. I know recently [the last month or so] things have been a little slow but you have to remember that it was the end of the year, many staff members [and heck people in general] we're busy with finals/vacations/family/the holidays and a whole slew of other things. Bringing in more staff during the holiday season because there a bit of a dip in activity doesn't really make a whole bunch of sense in my opinion because its just the natural ebb and flow of how things go, it happens every year. 

"nursery slots being weeks and even months overdue while dozens of personal work and things for other people get put out"

I'll be the first to admit ,, this is actually a bit of a problem ,, it doesn't happen with every artists but I do understand that sometimes owed work gets forgotten, especially when the artist keeps taking on more and more in an attempt to keep up with demand that the community has created. we are aware of this, and myself and Karmel have been discussing it for quite awhile and throwing ideas back and forth for a way to manage it ,, at the time I think we have a pretty solid solution and it after a bit more discussing and working out the kinks it should be able to be implemented fairly soon and shouldn't take too long to see the effects c: i do apologize to anyone that has been on the brunt end of having to wait. one thing you can always do though is message the artist directly to see whats up, and if you don't get an answer then you can always come to myself or Karmel [or if you're noticing something that you aren't a part of you can even submit it to us anonymously via ask or tumblr!!

"hardly anyone but a handful of artists having hm customs open almost constantly, and i’m sure we all know why that is, other than the few artists who genuinely can’t open slots right now."

HM customs have always been a bit of tricky situation since it was switched so that only offical team members could do them and I do apologize that it was never fully explored how to best impliment this system. in the beginning i dont think it was set up to handle a community the size of which we have and hasn't ever really been revised to help fix it. with that being said though we do have a fancy new thread you may want to check out !! its still in the works as all the artists find their spots but there are already several artists who have started using it if you would like to keep track. its called the <a href="http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=87&t=3701780">Kalon Artist Alley</a>!! essentially every artist on the Kalon team has a post here and they will be able to detail what work they are open for, lay out what projects they currently have, and list any examples or prices [as they may apply] for their work! with this it should make it a lot more easy to find an artist that is open to HM customs and browse just who you might want to partner with!

"staff not responding even to help questions until it’s irrelevant or the other person completely forgot they even asked. not enough nursery artists who are actually active to compensate for the rise in kalon members looking for batches."

I do apologize for any questions that have went unanswered! Its really unfortunate that we've gotten this reputation, but I do swear to you that it is never intentional! Sometimes I so wish I could just show you guys a day in the life of the staff chat, it is honestly off the hook 24/7 with people chatting about all kinds of different business from questions to designs/growths/rule breaking and a whole slew of everything in between! And often times our inboxes are just the same, I know mine is! Things fall through the cracks sometimes in a community so big and id be willing to bet that more often than not we actually have discussed the question at hand and it may just be that the conversation rolled over to something new that distracted the original staff member handling it from responding to you and then never picked it back up. that is something that we will have to start working a lot harder on, but like i said, it is absolutely never intentional that we are forgetting responses. if you dont hear back usually within 72 hours it is absolutely okay for you to resend the message or to send it to a new staff member !!

"staff don’t have an obligation to be active since if they aren’t, they don’t get the activity rewards, but again, like i said in a previous point, artist activity is a serious issue that isn’t taken seriously enough, or at all. if people aren’t active but get on to post maybe one kalon every few months, that’s an issue and needs to be talked to with the person. if they can’t get on enough to post kalons more than every few months, maybe they should take a break and someone who can be more active can be brought in."

like you mentioned, i kinda touched on this one in the first response, however I would also like to point something else out. while i dont consider Kalons to be a business and myself and Karmel dont run them as such, even if you are looking at this from a real world employment there are actually a lot of different levels of activity that are acceptable!! normally you have full time ,, part time ,, and PRN [as needed] employees all working for the same company. my artists are just like that in a lot of respects and its completely unfair to say they dont deserve compensation for what they do when they are able to do it. they aren't taking up a slot from anyone else and they are still providing amazing designs and input into the community ,, heck a lot of the time when an artist is unable to make designs they are still active in the staff chat and in other areas that may not be their primary duty as an artist.

" staff apparently being too big to manage properly"

[cutting this one a little short]

you are absolutely right !! we have said this a lot and that's because we really do mean it !! and when we talk about staff being too big to manage we dont actually mean that all those names are just too much, we mean that the active people that we are currently managing is quite a lot !! looking back on our activity documentation for the last 6 months there has consistently been an average of 30+ active artists working !! and that not even including our mods or myself and Karmel ,, for two people who have adult lives off the internet that is a lot to manage and we are trying our absolute best while still not spreading ourselves too thin because then the issues that you have already expressed just become more exaggerated when we have to provide them with even less attention than we already do. and while we think that the staff we have right now is very strong and putting out a lot of work already [did you know that last month alone over 200 designs were put into the community just from the nursery and main adopts ?? and over the last 6 months over 2,000 designs were?] we have opened the nursery search again and may soon be opening the main artists search as well to alleviate some of the demand that you guys are throwing out there c: 

I'm not going to quote any of the last point as its quite long but to a degree I would like to agree, just in all honesty. I haven't been able to be a real part of the actually community for quite some time since becoming a co-owner and in that time from the position i am in I have seen a lot of stuff. I know that it may seem like no body cares but really I think the issue is just in a community this large in general it can be hard to find a foot hold. now im not making any excuses for those that go out of their way to ignore everyone or only talk to their friend group, but I do also know a lot of people that try their hardest to talk to new people or as many people as they can. i wish there were some easy clear cut way that I could address this and have it fixed in just a couple of days but the sad truth is that you are right, this is more than just what we as staff can tackle by ourselves and really takes the effort of the entire community but we are trying to promote it !! our events have shifted from just token grabs to be more development and cooperation based and often offer or require the interaction with community members that you may not know !! while I dont have any wonderful news for how we plan to fix it please know that we see the rift and we do want to fix it ,, if you or anything really has suggestions or just wants to talk about the experiences that made their introduction to the community better/worse i would honestly really urge you to come talk to me or any staff member. i promise you for all the anxiety it can cause to message one of us we are really just a group of massive dweebs and our side chat would definately prove that. we don't ever aim to make anyone uncomfortable or to be rude when responding to you guys and i apologize if it has ever come off that way when dealing with one of us with Kalon related things. one good thing about such a big staff is that if you have an issue with one of us you can always find someone else <3

Im sure i've missed some stuff and i know i had origianlly planned to address more than just the essay posts but its getting late for me and I have a really big day tomorrow ,, so if ive missed someone or you guys have anything else you would like to have addressed I would actually really urge you to send it on over to the Kalon tumblr. you can find it at kalon-adopts.tumblr.com [where this was submitted from] !! i vagued it earlier but yeah !! its brand spanking new and still under a lot of construction as far as  coding and the like goes but it is functional !! as much as i despise the premise of both of the confessions blog i have realized that Tumblr has become quite an ingrained part of the CS and Kalon community and I would love to continue engage with you guys over it. I know its not the same as the confessions blog but hopefully you will feel more at ease contacting us anonmously there or just sharing your views and opinions in general c: we plan to eventually link the blog on our CS pages once its compeltely set up so please keep in mind nothing explicit will ever be allowed to be submitted there.

ack so yeah here's my really long and drawn out submission that i promised earlier c: i hope you guys read a bit of it and maybe understand a bit more now. i know sometimes it can seem like the staff is being really quiet and maybe not doing anything at all but i can assure you that we are always abuzz and honestly we are just about everywhere listening to just about everything and in some way or another almost all complaints are brought up and discussed. we may not post or announce every little move we are making but i cross my heart and pinky promise that we are working tirelessly to try and improve this community for you guys and for ourselves ,, we love this species and we know that without each and every one of you there wouldn't be anything for us to love so we want to make it as friendly and functioning as we can. all i ask is that you give us a little understanding and patients and i promise you are going to see the positive outcome <3

[also please forgive any mistake its late for me and im tired and not the best at typing anyways lol]

-Wicced!

[cerulean-sims]

i saw some discourse with some of the options of the survey correlating heavily with mods-- and while i dont have first hand experience with most of the mods mentioned, i have seen gameplay of all of them so here are my thoughts:

i think the most useless one to add would be story progression. i understand the want of an official version, but mccc does everything about it so perfectly and with the ability to customize so many little things about it that i dont see a point in trying to compete with it, especially when its a mod a LOT of sims players have. its the only thing i have ever downloaded for my game. i would rather them dedicate time and resources to other things not covered by that particular mod-- because again, its known and used by a very huge part of the community. (id like to know why youd want an official version, if anyone who thinks that sees this! im really curious as to what the argument is!)

now as for the slice of life comparisons ive seen, i think some of the options obviously correlate, but i feel as if an official version of some parts of it would be better immersed into the game and just done differently. there is no “different” way to do story progression, or at least, none they were planning on that was mentioned. the emotion type of thing, however, would obviously be a different thing. (also-- one of the only reasons ive ever avoided the slice of life mod is because of the grammar/non-capitalization bothers me so much. the mod otherwise seems really well structured, and i give huge props to the mod creator for making it-- its just something that i know would throw off the immersion for me)

as for ww, unless the creator plans on making the attraction system a stand alone mod, i think the reason for an official version is obvious. yes i know you can play with the options, but i do NOT want to touch that mod with a ten foot pole, as someone who dislikes seeing n*fw (censoring in case tumblr snipes me) anything. plus the attraction system is present in the sims 2 (to an extent? ive never played it) and the sims 3, so its natural they’d want to introduce it into the sims 4 too (it shouldve been there to begin with, as with all of these things, but yknow)

[bensopinionsonvariousthingsblr]

So what are my favorite games Part 1

So just to make things clear i haven been writing 1.because this is actually my second attempt at writing this i accidentally closed the tab the first time, uh and i only lost a few hours of work. and 2.because I’ve been working at my job a lot more frequently as of late. anyway, i could probably write an entire full length essay on all of these games but I’ll try to shorten things up, oh yeah uh some games on the list might not be that good, as I may include a game from my childhood that i have fond memories of, but maybe wasn’t as good as i remembered it, anyway its a top 10 so lets begin.

First of all id love to start with some outside looking in, all these games are incredible to me and i would love to put them in the top 10 but i couldn’t, if you want to hear my opinions on them (wow thanks, you actually care) you can ask me on twitter and ill do my best!

15.Sonic Generations                                                                                              14.Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege                                                                      13.Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 Platinum (Waterpark&Zoo DLC is amazing)                12.Splatoon 2 (specifically the Octo Expansion, that was really good)                    11.Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition (Def. edition because its portable with good FPS and the extra 3DS content)

OK then Ill get started now :3 Thanks a TON (and I mean it I appreciate amy support i get or constructive criticism) for reading it!

Number 10: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess                                              Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2006/2016 remaster                                What it can be played on: Gamecube/Wii/Wii U                                                                                                                                                                                              The Legend of Zelda is my favorite game series of all time, thats obvious if you know anything about me, and twilight princess is one I’ve played more recently, and from the start you notice Twilight Princess is definitely going for that early 2000′s edgy tone (is that a coincidence or an actual trend, i dunno i was really young in 06 so...) which works fine, and its a really long game, I mean I spent a week or two beating it, that being said i had work and other things going on at the time, but any way it has been said by many more before me, that it is basically an edgy, long,Ocarina of Time remake with motion controls....and they aren’t wrong, though i have called it edgy but i think its more...dark i guess? any way i actually like this better than Ocarina of Time, before you assault me i loved Ocarina of Time, i just tried to put as few Zelda games on the list as i could, and i just enjoyed the Twilight Princess story, characters, and length a bit more, but back to the remake opinion, i sort of agree yeah, but i thought the mystery around Midna and Zant and the Twilight realm, and the mirror, were all something that sets it apart, so in the end i enjoyed it a lot.                                                                                                                                                                    Favorite Part(s)? Arbiters Grounds. AW MAN, I love the Arbiters grounds, the sneaking, the spinner, the boss, the setting, all of it is on point, even the wolf part is unique with the poe chasing, and also the Final Ganon boss I liked all of it, though his appearance is a bit late i thought it was a fun, long, and intense fight

Number 9: Lego Universe                                                                                      Developer and Release Year: NetDevil and Lego, 2010-2012                                What it COULD ( :( ) be played on: PC                                                                                                                                                                                                              IM GONNA GO AHEAD AND SAY IT THIS IS A PICK COMPLETELY ON NOSTALGIA. Yes, this is one of my favorite games of my childhood and since i cant go back and re-evaluate the game because it’s closed unfortunately (except for some server projects that are happening) I’m talking about it completely based on my memories. One reason I love it is, the game’s story and lore at the time captivated me so much that i decided to write stories about stuff my character(s) did, which basically kick-started my interest in writing, as bad as those stories were, I loved the game, I had it’s official LEGO set (Still do it’s a nice little orange rocket ship that could be used in-game) and convinced my cousins to play it too, and we all enjoyed it, now of course i was an MLGPROBOI at the game so I had rare pets and the best weapons and a RED PARROT GUYS (I believe it was super rare and a big deal) so I loved being really cool n’ stuff, people would ask me to help them take out Butterscorch (that was the hardest boss in the game, a purple dragon, BUT SINCE I WAS AN MLGPROBOI I COULD DO IT MYSELF BUT I WAS NICE SO I HELPED) and even sell them secrets on how to do stuff, yeah i was a cool guy, cant relate now, I’ll never be as cool as my alter-alias Square Von Pancake :(                                                                                                                                                                Favorite Part(s): Me and my brother played i t together all the time and we loved the combat at crux prime the most, Crux Prime was the place with the hardest enemies and bosses and it was really fun to be challenged for a while. plus though it was out for only a year we still have countless memories of it, and they added Ninjago in it which I was SUPER into at the time and enjoyed having my character do Ninjago stuff...  

Number 8: Mount and Blade: Warband                                                                    Developer and Release Year: Taleworlds, 2010                                                      What it can be played on: PC, PS4, XB1                                                                                                                                                                                                      Mount and Blade Warband and its expansion Mount and Blade Napoleonic Wars, is one of my favorite multiplayer, and story games, the story mode is fun because you can do what you want, YOU choose the faction you fight with or not to at all, your class, your stats, and you can make some uh *beautiful* characters, the main story, i believe the objective is to become the emperor of Calradia, and rule the dang place and be rich and cool and have people like you, but I dont usually do that i just fight for factions, make money in the arena and at tournaments, and hire mercenaries and win against armies of 200 with like 30 people, its fun, now second talking point for me is the multiplayer, this is where Napoleonic Wars comes in, it is a fun shooter with muskets , or swords....or screw it you can play the bagpipes, that last one is totally not something me and my friends would do late at night. The Maps are super well designed as well and each look nice, and are usually not unbalanced. The third thing is the modding community, if you have this game, and don’t have the Anglo-Zulu war mod, that is just wrong, I mean it is so fun to get your friends and survive against large waves of zulu, or have some friends with the Zulu, it is just a unique experience for me, and other mods are cool to like the Civil War mod.                                                                                                                                                                    Favorite part(s): The Story mode is awesome in the way that it was a time in m life where i was without internet for a good month or two, but i had my laptop and the story mode kept me entertained for basically the whole time, also there are so many fun memories of the AZW mod and late night spent surviving waves.  

Number 7: Lego Battles                                                                                          Developer and Release Year: Warner Bros., Hellbent and Lego, 2009                  What it can be played on: DS                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Lego Battles is also a nostalgia pick, and also happens to be a Lego game, but the difference is it still holds up to me today, and i can still play it today...any way I love the gameplay, it’s a basic RTS but with fun themes like Wizards and Knights and Pirates and Aliens vs Humans, and each has a different play style, but not too different that it didn’t confuse me as a kid, I always liked the pirates and the aliens, I dont know why, but uh a drawback is that it can be too easy, at the time I wasnt fast or good enough to beat the AI with my first base, but i quickly learned if i just escaped after the destruction of the first one and just built a stronger second one, i would have more time because the AI couldnt find me and i would win pretty much every time, but despite that I enjoyed all the campaigns and loved the cutscenes and the extra characters like Santa and the Skeleton Guy (tm) and the Conquistador and the Alien Queen etc. and the way to unlock them was to find red bricks in the campaign levels, and/or collect studs which i thought was a fun challenge at the time, and today i sometimes like to go back to it for some casual RTS action                                                                                                                                                                                                     Favorite Part: The Gameplay, it’s simple, fun, and  doesn’t take too long, so if i just want to pick up a short game of the RTS genre I usually spring for this

Number 6: Star Wars Battlefront 2 Classic                                                              Developer and Release Year: Pandemic Studios, LucasArts , 2005                      What it can be played on: PC/PS2/XBOX                                                                                                                                                                                                      The fact that this comes in at number 6 on my list really doesn’t tell how much I love and appreciate this game, this is probably THE game I played the most in my childhood, and even still I play it online with the new servers (I disagree with you sometimes Disney, but thanks for those) This game is so replayable and I haven’t even played through the campaign yet, yeah, what I have done though is beaten all the Galactic Conquest stories, probably more than once. So for those of you that don’t know Galactic Conquest is a mode where each team starts with one ship and one type of troop and you fly around a map of the galaxy and take over enemy planets and defend yours and buy troops with the money you earn from the battles, and if the two ships run in to each others then they do a space battle, and Im gonna say it now i grew up playing the PS2 version with my cousins, but now I play the PC version and when we play with our cousins they play the XBOX version on Xbox One, any way the PC version is the best in terms of FPS and general gameplay smoothness, but the console versions have Galactic Conquest multiplayer which is something that we have spent countless hours playing, and in the end Battlefront 2 will be one of the best shooters of all time, and better than the new Battlefront 2 because that one is no where near good enough to share a name with the classic one, any way, i will always love Battlefront 2                                                                                                                                                                  Favorite part(s): Galactic Conquest and shout out to the maps Kashyyyk and Tantine IV, they’re the best

Hey thanks for reading through this whole thing, uh as you can tell this was super long, i planned to do all ten in this one but i figure it’s gettimg pretty long and I’ll just stop here and I’ll have 5 through 1 tomorrow, Thank you so much!                                                                                                                -Ben :3                                                                                                                       

[clearbreadsuit-blog]

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