#i dont know how to draw aurora borealis help

[returntodreamland]

i was originally not gonna draw anything today since its a pretty busy day but i randomly wanted to draw sapfling and well..it led to this. happy holidays!

[silence-and-tears]

all the things that we call home

“Aydin,” he says.

“Hi, Mason,” I say to the sky.

There’s a moment of silence, and then Mason clears his throat. “Clare was wondering where you were,” he mutters. “I think she's a bit worried.”

“Huh,” I say. “I thought that was your job.”

“Please shut up,” Mason says, earnestly.

I laugh, a little, and something eases around my chest. Not a lot, just enough to breathe properly again. Mason makes a pleased sort of sound, a little happy and a little young.

We’re still in their suits, just took our helmets off. The aliens here are cautious but friendly- we’ve been communicating with them for a while now, but no humans have ever actually been to the planet. Until now, I guess.

We watch the sky together, moments ticking by. Can I still call them moments? Time goes by faster on this planet, half a year on Earth each hour. What will Earth be like when we get back? If we get back? If? If? 

Will Mom still be there, in our house that always smells like geraniums? Nadia would be- what, by now? Twenty? Yeah. Twenty. I’ll have missed her birthday.

“Aydin,” Mason says awkwardly. He’s too young for this- we all are. His voice cracks- he’s only been on T for a month or so now.

God. He’s only been transitioning for a month.

“Aydin!” Mason snaps, now, more commandingly. “Snap out of it!”

I turn to look at him.

The sun here is bright, too bright. It’s blue, and it’s light flickers off Mason’s face like the Aurora Borealis I’ve always imagined. I’ve always wanted to go see them. Not that I will.

“You were thinking too much again,” he says. 

“You think too much,” I say.

“I can’t believe I like you,” he grumbles, and throws himself onto the ground with more force and drama than necessary. The ground catches him, bounces, stills.

Mason’s always been like that, in the almost five years now that I’ve known him. Adapts to life and the things around him easily. I think the only thing he’s ever been persistent on is his gender and his dream to be an astronaut.

The coms crackle. “You there, Aydin? Mu?”

“Oh, shut up, Clarissant,” Mason complains. “I’m not the only one with a bad name here.” 

“Call me that again,” Clare says sweetly, “and you can deal with the rest of negotiations.”

“Sweet Jesus, you two,” Cintan joins in, but we all know they don’t mean it.

“Anyways, negotiations are over for today. Their day, I guess. Where are you guys?” Clare says. She’s focused, as usual. I don’t think she ever really stops working. If she has, I’ve never seen it.

“Outside, by the cliffs,” I say, and Cintan groans. 

“Why did you walk so far out?” he complains. “Okay, I’m coming.”

“The sun’s going to set soon,” Mason observes, a little thoughtfully. 

“We should get some rest,” Clare says. “C’mon, guys. Get back to your rooms.”

She’s tired, tired and irritable. I can hear it in the edge of her voice, the sharpness she tries to hold back.

“Does no one want to watch the sunset?” Mason protests.

“We’re not here to watch sunsets, we’re here to negotiate and get back to our families. Not that you’d know what that’s like.”

I hear Mason’s breath hitch, and Cintan inhales a little surprised noise over the coms. I startle.

There’s a ringing silence, and Mason starts to tense. Half rises, face drawn. The light draws long shadows around his eyes, and his shoulders hunch over. Clare’s crossed the line, one of the few that Mason has, and we all know it.

She sighs. I can see her in my mind, slumping against one of the pillars here- everything is pillars, here. She’s probably pinching her nose, pulling herself together.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “That was uncalled for. We can watch the sunset.”

“Nice!” Cintan says, voice a little high pitched. “Okay, I’m on my way, guys! Almost there!”

He clicks off.

Mason sits back down. Gingerly, this time, quiet and small. I turn the coms off and shift closer to him.

“She didn’t mean it,” I say. “You know what Clare’s like. All bark and no bite. She’s just tired.”

“I know,” he mutters. He’s probably turned his coms off, too. “I should’ve helped more today.”

‘Dude,” I say, with feeling. “You, like, did everything you could. You’re our pilot and part time mechanist, you just got the basic training in negotiations, like- you don’t have to-”

I falter. Don’t have to what? Don’t have to fill in every role, don’t have to feel this need to do everything? To fix everything?

He smiles at me, small and a little sad. “Yeah,” he says, voice too quiet. “I kinda do.”

But then he nudges me. “Let’s make a deal, huh? You don’t have to fix everyone, I don’t have to- I don’t have to be me?”

I don’t know how to answer that. The silence is heavy now, and Mason begins twisting his hands together, awkward and anxious and upset. He isn’t looking at the sky anymore, stares down at the ground instead, starts sifting through the grains of sand-like material here. The whole place is some kind of sandy material, though the aliens here say that further North East there are tree like things and water- water.

Four thousand three hundred twenty four light years from home, and they still have water.

“The ground sparkles,” Mason says suddenly. His voice is strained, but at least he’s talking. “You see?” He holds up a handful of the stuff, and in the light of the sun it does seem to sparkle, a little. When I squint it seems a little blue, but maybe that’s just my human eyes.

“You wanna bring some back to ship so we can test it?” I ask, and he shrugs.

“Just a hobby. ’Sides, dunno if Clare’ll be okay with it.”

“‘Course I’d be okay with it, Mu,” Clare’s voice comes from behind us. Mason startles. Cintan is jogging behind her, trying to keep up even though he started out earlier. She turns to glance back at him. “Hurry it up, slowpoke!” She calls, voice endless against the plains of rocks. “You’re going to miss Mu’s sunset!” He answers in huffing gasps, annoyed and maybe a little amused.

“Got you one of those rocks you like so much,” she adds stiffly, and I turn away so she won’t see my grin. For all her bluster, she really is a softie. Mason’s lips tug up a little as he takes it.

“Thanks, Clare,” he says.

“Nothin’ to thank me for, Woodhead,” she mutters, and sits down beside him. Woodhead’s a little joke running between them- Mason’s Chinese name means wood, and the first time they met he found out that she knew Chinese and so here we are. They still speak Chinese to each other sometimes to tick Cintan off.

Mason rolls the stone between his fingers, looking thoughtful. “Huh,” he says. “look at this- the layers are all blurred.”

“What?” Cintan gasps from behind us. “I’m just the poor head mechanic, I don’t know rocks.”

Mason waves it at him. “Look!” he says, more excited. “I was wondering what the gravity difference and sand and wind would do to the rocks that can form here, and you know how on Earth-” 

“Nope,” Cintan says, popping the p. He flops onto the ground and pats Mason on the shoulder. “Let’s watch your sunset first, ‘kay?”

“Hmph,” Mason grumbles, and Cintan laughs. “Mason,” he says, “I promise I’ll listen to all your ramblings about rocks and rocks and other rocks tonight as long as you want, but right now I want to watch this sunset.”

He leans onto me, eying the sky.

“Y’all got here just on time,” I say. “The sun’s-”

Clare’s head spins around to stare. Her ponytail’s half falling apart, and her fingers are frozen in the act of tightening it.

“Aydin,” she says, “did you just unironically say y’all.”

I wave at her wildly- having everyone here is giving me more energy, and I’ll probably be more tired later but right now there’s something light in me. It feels like it’s glowing.

“IF YOU CAN HAVE YOUR BOOKS-”

“Oh my god, you’re so loud-”

“I CAN HAVE MY Y’ALLS, CLARE, LET ME LIVE-”

“I hate Texans so much-”

But she’s laughing, giving up on her ponytail and I can feel myself grinning, and Mason’s snorting into his hand and Cintan throws his hands up in the general symbol known in NASA as I give up, why is this my life- and I’m fond of them, suddenly, so fond, something in me bright and warm and constant.

“Sit down, Aydin,” she laughs. “Sit down and watch this gosh darned sunset.”

“Our next operation,” Mason says thoughtfully, “should be to get Clare to swear.”

“You can try,” she says haughtily.

“I’ve heard her swear,” I say, suddenly remembering. “It was-”

“SIT DOWN AND WATCH THE SUNSET, I SWEAR TO GOD-”

“Mission leaders shouldn’t swear, Clare!” Cintan says, and scrambles away as she tries to kick him, and Mason’s laughing as he grabs them and holds Clare back at once.

The laughter dies down, finally, into a silence warm and soft. It wraps around us, a little like the stories Mom used to tell at night.

“And you say I’m the loud one,” I say. Mason snorts again, and Clare groans, long and exasperated.

“I hate this team,” she says, but she’s smiling, bright like the world.

“Nah, you dont,” Mason says. He’s lying down now, peering up.

“Nah,” Clare agrees, softly. “I don’t.”

She lies down too, and so do I. Cintan squints at us and leans back onto the ground too, muttering something about joining our circle of miserly thought. I swat at him.

“It’s not a circle,” Mason hums, “it’s a- it’s a dragon!”

“A dragon,” Cintan says disbelievingly.

“Figure it out in your heads,” Clare grumbles, and they settle.

We’re all quiet for a while. Something warm settles in me, somewhere in my ribcage, and it spreads through me- all the way to my fingers and through my legs. It’s comforting, like a constant friend or the shrieking birds of spring- familiar and a bit like what I think love would be like.

The sky is blue, blue, blue- I’ve never seen that many shades. Streaks of bright light, and something thin and a little darker edging the horizon. The sky is one of those books Clare loves to collect- the paperbacks left back in the twenty first century. 

Open me, the sky says. Open me. I have stars and blues and moons and life in me, and I am infinite.

I miss the snow, Mason says, except I don’t realise he says it until a moment later.

Clare sits up on her elbows.

“Huh,” she says. Just that. Huh. And then, “I miss the rain. And our moon. And stars I actually know the names of. And chocolate. God, I miss chocolate.”

“Well, now you’ve taken all of mine,” Cintan complains.

“Was this a competition?” Clare asks.

“Well, now you’ve made it one,” Cintan announces. I’m not sure to who. The world? Except who’s to hear it, but us?

Maybe he just wanted to say it.

We let him think, and I guess I expect something funny and lighthearted from him, but-

“I miss drawing,” Cintan mutters. “You know, I wanted to bring my sketchbook out here, but mission control said no- I get it, any extra weight can tilt it off, and, you know, bring us to a fiery death, but. I would’ve liked some things to bring back for Ana, if she’s still there by the time we get back.”

“I’ll collect rocks for her,” Mason decides immediately, like generosity is nothing to him. “I’ll collect all the rocks for her, and then we’ll ditch you guys and go discuss rocks for the rest of our lives.”

“You can’t steal my sister!”

“Watch me.”

And Cintan laughs, a little. “Thanks, Mason.”

The sun’s setting fast now. Our shadows are long and dark, like the watercolours back home. The whole world’s turning blue, and if I close my eyes and ignore the suit, pretend it’s not there, replace it with a T- shirt and jeans, I can almost pretend I’m home. 

“I miss home,” I say. “Just- home.”

I could say other things, maybe. I could talk about Ronnie and Luis, I could talk about Nadia. I could talk about Mom and Dad and their farms.

I could talk about a boy who grew up on those farms, yardwork by day and mapping the stars by night. I could talk about how that boy left his home by choice, or how his mom hugged him before he did and cried, and maybe he cried a little too. I could talk about Luis, who didn’t cry because that means I’m giving up on you, Aydin, and I’m never going to give up on you, bring back some stories for me, huh?

You drama kid, Ronnie had tod him, and then hugged me once, tight and hard and whispered, come back when you’re done chasing the stars.

I don’t. They know- they were there with their own families, and Mason had watched, a little sad. Cintan’s mom had given him truffle for before we left, and Clare had been quiet with her dad- tall and grim and a one- armed hug and a whisper in her ear.

“Yeah,” Cintan says. “I miss home.”

“Home is a feeling,” Clare says, and Mason snorts. 

“Didn’t take you for a poet.”

“Yeah, well,” and Clare pauses, a little, “I wanted to write before I decided to go into space and yell at people.”

There’s more to the story, but none of us press, just laugh a little.

“I’m glad you’re all on my team,” Mason says, and yawns.

“Thanks for the sunset,” Clare tells him.

“Mhm,” he hums, half lidded eyes peering up into the sky.

There’s a comfortable silence, and the sun starts falling faster, ‘till it’s just over the mountains in the distance- it hangs, there, for a moment that’s longer on Earth, and the universe holds its breath.

It slips down, and the world exhales. 

The last beams of light recede, night coming dark and stars blinking down. 

“Alright, back to your rooms,” Clare announces, and gets up. Cintan pulls Mason up, and I follow, Clare in step for once instead of rushing ahead.

Mason rubs his eyes and stumbles his way, and Cintan grumbles sleepily and Clare is softly quiet, steady footfalls and messy hair.

And maybe I could find a bit of home in them.

@flashfictionfridayofficial thank you!! sorry this is so freaking long ugh

[levinssword]

All the questions all the cliche romantic questions

hOW DID I MISS THIS DARN YOU TUMBLR.... and this is actually kinda embarrassing to post............................................Coffee Shop: How do you take your coffee?haha jokes on you I DONT TAKE IT I THROW IT INTO THE TRASH WHERE IT BELONGS..... I only drink frappuccinos from starbucks..... double chocolaty chip...... venti is the only acceptable size............ No other coffee is acceptable.... Train Station: Where do you want to travel?I don't usually think about this sorta thing, so there are only a few places that I ever considered. @ff-15 and I have been talking for literal years about flying out and visiting Yellowknife to see the Aurora Borealis, though we're probably going to get eaten by a fucking wolf or something. I'm also weeb trash so I want to go to Japan and get me some spicy pokemon merch directly from the pokemon center... and to eat food... Honestly, I'll go anywhere with street food ( the superior and only way to truly eat ). Whenever I do get to Japan, I need to find the nearest takoyaki vendor (though this can be hard because they don't have a lot of street food outside of festivals from what I hear :'/ ). Apparently, that is a ball of octopus and other shit and I want it BADLY. I need that fish ball and I will not try one until I get to Japan to have a real one. Okonomiyaki, yaki tomorokoshi ( It's grilled corn jett.. GRILLED CORN), and bebi kasutera are just a few that I can think off of the top of my head that I also need before I die. I just want to eat everything to be 10000% honest if somewhere has good food I'm down to go...I think this question was about traveling but I started thinking about food sorry,,,,,Picnic in the Park: Do you enjoy people watching?I like watching... I need to know what people are doing and if I need to run or fight them. It's also a bit of a habit that I picked up from school. My first design instructor had us go people watching as a sketchbook assignment and encouraged us to do it so... I sorta never stopped. I'll just watch people because I'm so used to watching n drawing them all the time. Oh and since I have to watch people like a hawk at my job to see if I have to be at the counter.... honestly I don't even know if I enjoy it it's such a habit at this point I just can't NOT watch people. If you ever go anywhere with me you'll see me looking around CONSTANTLY because I have to see what everyone is doing.... It's weird I'm sorry hah,,mmmmKiss Under the Rain: What sounds help you sleep?Hmmmmm this is a hard one... I always have a fan on for one and it's always on the highest setting! I can't sleep without it and if it's not on I won't sleep. Also my old roommate used to have the single SHITTIEST bed EVER and for like half a year all we'd here at night whenever that nerd moved was this terrible creaking noise... and now I'm so used to hearing that.... creeky beds.... also if the bed didn't creak that meant they probably died so o>ooh and rain!Butterflies: What unique thing would you/do you enjoy in a partner?FSDFSDFADFASDFSF ASD I GOT REALLY EMBARRASSED AND CANT POST THIS ONE IM SORRY VIOLENT SWEATINGSnow Angels: What's your favorite kind of weather?I love fall when all of those trees are orange and red and just DYING and dropping their flakey little corpses everywhere... it's radical... I do go through and play in the leaves. Do I jump in them? not really. I make a pile and crawl under or lay on top of it. It's my nest now.I also like that short time between fall and winter where its bitter cold and chilly windy and just TERRIBLE OUT.... ya know... right now... this is my shit I stand outside in a tshirt and shorts and just feel so ALIVE. AND THEN I LOVE ALL OF WINTER. SNOWING? I LOVE IT! BLIZZARD? I LOVE IT MORE! ICE FALLING FROM THE SKY? I EMBRACE IT LET IT KILL ME! SNOWMANS? YESYES YES YESYESYESYESYES I MADE A SATAN SNOWMAN A COUPLE YEARS BACK! I just l love it so much.... It's a frozen hell outside and it spares noone it's wrath.... it's so great.... I like looking outside at into this abyss while I sit in my ugly room chugging mug after mug of hot chocolate. I drink only the liquid chocolate goodness through winter. Or milkshakes.... ALSO STILL WEARING THOSE SHORTS N TSHIRT ALL WINTER LONGBed & Breakfast: What do you like to do on Tuesdays?I'm laughing, of all of the days that this could have listed it chose one of my days off! WELLLLLLLLLL Since I didn't have to work the night before and also have this night off I have a full day to do absolutely anything. ANYTHING.Tuesday is the best day of the week! It's one of the few things I actually have to look forward to anymore... What do I do on Tuesday? I spend the entire day talking to my boyfriend! If I'm extra lucky I can even call him! Sometimes we watch things together... or watch each other draw ( the purest form of trust between artists :3c ), we play games too! Honestly, we do lots and lots of random things... I mean we do these every day, but because of my trainwreck of a work schedule, this is the only time we can spend the entire day together... It's very nice... just the thought always puts me in a good mood... this is..... really embarrassing.....Kiss at the Door: When you hold hands, do you interlock fingers? Swing your arms?I've only ever held hands with one person and we just held them.... but If given the chance I would both interlock them fingers and swING THAT ARM SO FASTBowling: Do you laugh loudly or giggle more?When I do laugh I laugh loud :3c Otherwise I don't usually... make noises..... I don't like it when people hear me laugh or giggle because it's embarassing ;;;;;Chocolates: What's your favorite kind of sweet thing?HMMMMMMMMM other than you? I guess.... Icecream? Cheesecake??? I am not super big on sweets now that I'm a filthy bakerRoses: Do you blush easily?I've been blushing this entire time :ICheesy Pick-Up Lines: Are you more of a comic or a romantic?I don't think I'm very funny.... so I guess I'm a romantic o7Candlelight: What romantic cliché do you wish for most?:eyes: Can I choose all of them or? Because I want them all.