#i dont honestly like this piece but yknow. is what it is. i wish i had redone it tbh LOL

[billystorm]

my piece for the ultimate guide produced by @harriertail

[superscourge]

how do you get people to take notice of your commissions? ive been at this for five or six years now and can count the number of comms ive gotten on one hand lmao

WELL this is always rly hard for me to answer bc it really depends on So Much Shit... 😭

like for one thing a lot of it is genuinely luck. like. luck in terms of who sees your work and wants to buy it at the same time mostly? BUT ALSO, this can be helped a bit by How you increase your reach--reach is very important if u wanna sell comms.

ive found what worked for me is drawing fanart, which i know feels like a cop-out to a lotta ppl but it honestly works! and by attracting attention with fanart ive been able to get more eyes on my work and increase the chances of getting a bite :]

another factor is unfortunately following, but that relates to ^ reach and attention on ur work so i dont feel like i need to rly dive into that again x'D

customer service is important too imo. like, how nice and pleasant and easy u are to work with :3 ive worked hard to be really approachable and easy to work with so i think this plays into things. i want ppl to wanna work with me again yknow? if the experience is pleasant then theyre more likely to return <3

one last thing is that like...hmm how do i word this. the appeal of ur art does matter to Some degree i think, but not as much as i think ppl assume? like ok. there are ppl with insanely detailed and intricate work that looks incredible like painterly masterpieces but they are Unable to get commissions bc of some other factor like lack of reach or something. then there are ppl with really simplistic art styles that may seem significantly "less quality" than the painterly masterpieces from the other person but they get commissions out the wazoo. so while i think you do have to have some level of appeal with your art, i dont think its the Only Thing that matters bc like i mentioned ppl dont always care abt how the art looks in terms of "quality" PLUS art is very subjective and one thing could look insanely good to one person but it looks like shit to someone else yknow? so i dont like to place a lot of emphasis on this.

in relation to ^ this, i think popularity matters to Some degree sometimes. i do know ppl who have kind of "lower-quality" (i hate saying that) work compared to others but still get an insane amt of comms bc theyre way more popular. ppl want to say they own a piece by this popular artist yknow? if that makes sense??? so just reiterating its not always about how the art looks, sometimes its other stuff in addition to it

uhhhhh gosh. i hope Any of this was helpful, like i said this is always an extremely difficult question for me to answer bc again things that work for me do not work for everyone because we make different things and are different people! i consider myself EXTREMELY lucky to be able to get the amount of comms i do (i do this for a living; commissions are my Only income which is why i put so much emphasis on them) and i know a lot of people cannot achieve this sorta thing and thats rly sad but its not always completely in our control :(

but i wish u the absolute best of luck and i hope things pick up for u in the future..!!!

[fictionfixations]

all the sad tales

penacony + aventurine spoilers

the wiki probably contains this but for my own sake i need to keep this somewhere.

(it'll be in bold. what im not sure on will not be in bold)

(The murmurs near your ears grow louder, more booming. You can even see another ████ ████████. Let's hope you can hold on until the moment you step onto the stage of the amusement park.)

(whited out parts are parts i cant decipher yay)

im going to try my hardest not to miss anything because i really like aventurine and i want to take my time with this. but i also sometimes have a really short attention span or get too immersed in something that i forget everything else so like...

(You ████████ ██ ██ █ ██████ discovered a strange child -- He seems to hail from the Avgin origins(?)... Weren't they already wiped out?)

(need to stop sprinting. i keep noticing breakable objects or chest so then i sprint towards them and im going to end up missing something instead of just heading straight into activating more of the story)

bby kakavasha runs so fast oh my god (its kind of sad to imagine that he can run so fast probably to run away from well yknow...)

(You are completely entranced by the Avgin boy. Just who is(?) he? There's still time. Maybe you can catch up to him and ask him exactly what █████████.) (happened?) (the extra whited out part on just who --- is probably a space. otherwise it could be was but hm.)

(im going to cry if i miss checking it because an enemy is chasing after me and i run headfirst into story. yes i am a coward who doesnt like starting battles if i can help it. makes me wish i had acheron but id honestly never use her in battle unless i had someone to regenerate skill points considering i have 5 star dan heng, so other attack ppl on team dont get much attention, and i dont really know how to use her beside tehcnique insta kill?? does that mean i can whip out a lvl 1 acheron and it works??)

dont plan on talking about the dialogue too much (i saw multiple people go through the story before i started ngl) but (also aventurine boss creeping up on me... i literally only have one person on team who attacks multiple at a time, and no one else outside of the team is as built)

LISTEN. have you SEEn hyenas playfighting its fucking adorable. call someone a hyena, i call it a compliment.

i missed the first piece of text... i forgot...

(*Ride the Pinball Machine)

still the same

i dont know why but the puzzles in penacony make me lag so bad. the puzzles, the pinball machine, or that dreamweaver thing. bruh.

(*Win the Hide and Seek game and find the Avgin boy)

anyway from what im understanding you can tell how many letters are missing because its as many characters as a character is missing. whenever ive blacked out text i never do that cause its so much bigger than the original text (i do one block for every two letters ngl. but i also dont do it with the intention of people deciphering what it says)

(*Play the roll of █████ film) (wound?)

i dont know film terms enough to even decipher what it could be. it could be color. black. white.

wound? wound as in rolling? like uh uh. past tense of wind. like winding up a roll. a wound roll. cause the description of wounds.. it could be related to his family. or..

I MISSED IT AGAIN 'there is only water, not rock' or something like that

(*Leave the maze)

(*Check the things you(?) lost)

i cant decipher this one 😭. you??? (Leave the maze you(?) █o) but i dont know what would make sense of it then. idk.

oh fuck i forgot to check the objective. its. probably the same as the other one for when finding a 'lost' object but like...

AGHHH wiki came in clutch

(*Check the lost things and memories)

(*Escape escape(?) the maze escape(?) the past/last(?) escort(?)) (this is a lot of 'idk')

(Failure discarded selfish useless pointless coward murderer gambler blessed discarded loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's beloved crazy murderer blessed failure discarded loser pointless coward murderer chosen-one selfish fool(?) blessed discarded loser chosen-one you(?) loser discarded pointless coward(?) murderer gambler blessed █isc█████ useless loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's blessed/beloved(?) loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser ████ ████ ███████████ ███ ██████ █████ █ ██ ████ ��)

there might be way more losers then there should be because my eyes were getting confused. and also more of the blacked out character

this line right here makes me wonder why he's still in the IPC after like the end of 2.2 (..im pretty sure 2.3 is the next update)

my brain power is failing on me idk what this one is

im going to turn my settings to max for the picture because its so fucking pixel-y. im going to try to save it before my pc crashes.

my one complaint: the taking a picture function that continues the story disappears when you get close to kakavasha. so i cant take a photo with him and continue the story.,

whatever.where the fuck is the screenshot folder im crying

oh my god the LAUNCHER? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNow after i go through the star rail folder > games folder > starrail_data folder > screenshots

thats way too many folders for me to even notice 😭

second image cuz yes

I RAN PAST THE TEXT AGAIN

'there'll be one beside you' or something im sorry my memory is shit short term i already forgot

I MISSED MORE OF THE FLOATING TEXT 😭😭

'over plains, endless'

'into cracked earth, stumbling'

im stressed so im getting distracted

ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CANT HEAR YOUUU. WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

"So run, Kakavasha, do not be afraid, and do not look back."

now go back and reread the previous quest thing.

okay thats it i think

[trainingdummyrabbit]

okkkk its been a day or two, gonna talk abt funy warptrain event ^_^ i didnt think i would but ihave thoughts and im chatty. notmany, but what ever. my house. yipy ^_^

honestly? wholly neutral abt this one. it sure was an event ! woah.

more genuinely, i mostly just think it couldve taken its environment+happenstance and made it hit harder. isuppose its just a side effect of Already Knowing, both in-universe and out, but the whole Everything felt very secondary to the character's.. characters. which isnt bad! its just specifically how it was Executed that kinda gets me about it.

specifically, in that it feels like its going to be much more important than it actually ended up presenting itself. nuance nuance, side chapter event, etc etc but even Still. what we got from the characters felt very very Mild, even from side-stuff pov. (again nuance, im not fully caught up, im simply talking about how i feel.) which may be a side effect of riding off th coattails of tkt wrt rodya having... All That. it felt like all that stuff w faust just Happened, and well. thats it! the most we got from it was dante+faust's brief dynamic, and yisang's comment towards the end. which was sweet and i liked a lot! i just wish they pushed the wound a little harder. juuust a little. give us (read: them) something to think about, rather than hint and drop.

ithink my main problem with the writing, specifically character writing, is how... sitcom-ish it ended up feeling, for lack of a better term. it felt very blatant in its winkwink nudge kind of execution of dialogue, specifically with the sinners re: faust's de-faust-ening. like its not Awful, but it did kinda take me out of it a bit. (though they didnt push that execution of it as far as they couldve, which i Am thankful for)

it Is very much a kind of hinty setup deal, but man. really really light on that one. the reconnection on mephi Was necessary plotwise, but i wont say i didnt feel at least a Little disappointed. let them struggle!!

(i think what i was more hoping for was exemplifying more strongly on the "This Is Objectively A Pressing Problem, But One We Cant Solve Just Yet" front. the 'we rely on Faust too much' was a little dip into it, but again, very light. i want to see them Objectively Kind Of Fuck Up about it. Really press those implications to give us something to be worried about when we Do address faust proper. yknow?)

and, admittedly, th thing that bothered me most was the keycard melting. that was the whole Ordeal! the pressure all kinda hinged on that being an Important Item! but then they just kind of all.. "oh no the keycard :( well, time to get on mephi its all cool ^_^" like... yall couldve done that th whole time? it really defangs the entire situation. both in-text and kind of retroactively. (which is something i could chatter on about, but i dont think id do it well, so i wont.)

like yeah, silly silly, but again. it does kinda make the tone go all over the place in a way that felt really jarring to me.

(also this is very very blatantly my own Immense Bias but its still my house; there is inevitably going to be a Lot of faust-angela comparisons/etc coming i can feel it in my Bones and iam inevitably going to be very Very bitchy about it. sorry about this in advance, but ive already said my piece re: rodya/ishy's realization egos and the same sentiment applies here. i am going to be Immensely picky about it and id apologize but you all know what im about. thats all.)

im wholly indifferent but Mildly Fond of team bloodfiend just on principle of Theyre Fun And Interesting. in the way where i wish we could delve into the implications of their dynamic (them making a fun little home on th warp trains is interesting!!!) but th nature of th story means we wont be able t see it. sad :( cmooon theyre just little guys cmon be niceys to them come onnnnn.

what Really shone this chapter for me though, surprise surprise, was donqui. she was FANTASTIC this event and its everything i couldve ever asked for, even with the bias aside. mmmmostly aside. i am easy to please on that front. i loved getting to see her be excited and Important to the group and not just brushed aside re: the beginning!! her and meur getting to genuinely just be silly!! (this one Is my bias speaking but also heath + don friendship win. in my heart.) also the bit where she gets to just... talk herself up in front of th kid. she was genuinely so happy and proud! it lets her Actually shine without dimming it with the "ah there goes donqui again, dont mind her" thing. which is intrinsic to her character, and i wont say is strictly bad, but im glad to see just Her. (Especially shoutout to the "she hesitated till the last second attacking the passengers" thing, that was a great detail for both her And faust)

but my Favorite thing by Far was the gap between the end of the bossfight and What Happened On Mephi. girl KILLING!!! girl MAIMING!!! getting to see her really push at her values and show off that part of her was Fantastic. the sheer stubborn vitriol was Excellent; and her standing by her own values even Past her own physical limits is Such a great way to exemplify that character trait. and most importantly, her direct decision to pretty much just ignore the direction to stay behind following her own morals was!! fantastic fantastic. Deeply delighted when she entered the scene again on mephi. i love seeing her be silly and excited. but what i love more is seeing that part of her. i want to see her be a Fucking Problem! a Serious Fucking Problem! she deserves it.

i cant... really say much on the uh, reveal at the end though. i probably wont, either! that'll have t be for the next canto. but im holding. im waiting. that is probably one of the funniest things they couldve pulled and i so desperately want to see what the fuck theyre going to do with it. let them cook or whatever. absolutely Not the direction i thought they were gonna focus on, but huh. Huh! huh. ok girl!!

. anyway all in all,

[infinitethree]

ahhhhh I'm glad you like the drawing Innit!!! Sorry for taking you on an emotional rollercoaster there, I didn't think you'd receive all of those at the same time.

Your opinion does matter! Or it should, anyway.

Also, dont apologize! You can't control when you hear what we say. I'm happy to be with you when ever I can :D

We do see alternative timelines. Some of them! They tend to play out differently than this one. I'm sorry, I didnt realize mentioning it would bring your mood down :( You deserve better than this Daz.

I'm glad you're liking the food!! If you want anything specific next time, let me know! I think I'm going to give you something sweet and something savoury each time so you don't get tired of one flavour, yknow?

*gives Innit an ice cream sandwich and some spaghetti with meatballs*

*as always, head pats and hugs if it wants them*

Also, not to make the same mistake as before with completely different uhh tones, but I figure you should know what's going on! If its not censored, that is.

Aster made a deal with the Showmaster to see parts of Daz's past in exchange for a wish. As in he literally sees them- in Daz's head or from a 3rd person view. He can't see or hear you though! (If Daz talks with you, Aster just doesnt know what he's doing.) But I figured you might want to know!

*another hug if it wants*

Innit hums in happiness, scritching the raccoon as it revels in the experience of Daz’s despair.

They both know that Aster won’t tolerate this new development. Once he knows about Innit…

Ah– but Asher just said that he doesn’t know! Meaning that Innit possesses an utterly vital piece of information that the bastard doesn’t.

It…can grapple with the idea that this Daz is the worst Daz at another time. Currently, its focus needs to be locked in on caving the ground underneath the traitorous asshole its trapped inside. 

It eats its food, a nearly manic grin stretching its lip wide.

Time for the bastard to pay the price for his countless crimes.

======

There’s only so much that Daz can take.

The Observers, the Scribe, being forced to reveal himself, Aster’s deal– he can only be backed against the wall so far before he can’t take any more.

So…he doesn’t.

The problem, he reflects, is that Aster has a streak of nobility. Even once he learns about Innit– which he might have already, honestly– he might think there’s something that can be saved in the ruined husk that is Daz and his admin side.

Maybe he won’t; maybe he’ll simply do his fucking duty and strike him down.

But if he doesn’t, Sanctuary and the people he gives a shit about will be in danger.

That’s not an option. Not when Daz has always known he’s running on borrowed time.

How many times has he escaped impossible situations by sheer fucking luck? How many times has he defied fate, defied the long scythe of Death herself…?

Well, he’s reached the end of the line.

From the moment he devoted himself to this place, he decided to hold nothing back. His own safety and sanity were small prices to pay for the sake of everyone else.

The greater good, and all that.

So…what is his life to add to the pile? What is his life worth, when he would die in a far more brutal way if Sanctuary were to be ruined because he was a coward?

He’s even made it easy for them– a manifesto, of sorts. He’s left statements, plans, even a will behind. Some of it was existing, but others he’s drawn up over the last day or two.

Unfortunately for Aster and the rest, Daz knows them far too well by now.

They’ve likely already approached Day, or at least are getting ready to do so.

Time is running out. Daz knows that the likelihood of them having a good chance at stopping him only skyrockets the longer he waits.

His last acts are to put his most precious possessions on his bed, on top of the suit he’d like to be buried in.

His shield ear cuff– the real one, the second one ever made that he’s kept hidden; the cuff that represents Tubbo…

The necklace from Raine.

It feels like something in the wreckage of his heart crumbles as he stares at his pseudo-claims, and he murmurs, “I really am pathetic, aren’t I?”

What kind of admin has so little of real value to his name, huh? What has your sociopathic bullshit and all that effort actually gotten you, in the end?

Not much, not directly. But it was never about him, not really; by the time he came to Sanctuary, he was already a lost cause.

Huh. Maybe Dream’s pre-insanity mentality did more damage than he thought. For the good of others, damn your own misery– that was always the ethos Dream had lived by.

What a nasty thought to linger with him.

He sighs, going into his closet to be sure he doesn’t look too fucked up. He needs to sell this, after all– has to sell this lie just long enough to make sure he’ll get this awful form of victory.

As he looks at himself in the mirror, he gives himself a bitter quirk of a smile. Just in case, he hums, “I wonder if you’ll get this eventually? Well…don’t blame yourself too much. It’s not your fault you’re outclassed, stupid, and naive.”

Thankful he’s had his rooms shielded from San, he wraps his knuckles against the mirror. “Fuck you, though. I hope my death eats you alive. You, of all people, should have known not to pry in my head.”

Twisting his face into a cheerful smile, he laughs, “Wish me luck! I’ve got a date with a very powerful Lady, and I’m terribly late. It’d be rude to keep her waiting any longer, yeah?”

With that, he goes to meet the only person he can turn to in this checkmate. The only person who he can count on to act the way he wants, the way he needs.

Theo.

The other Tommy is in his bookbinding workshop when Daz teleports over. He wiggles his fingers in greeting, asking, “Hey, big man– got a minute? I wanna talk to you about something.”

Theo blinks at him in surprise. “Hmm? Yeah, what’s up?” “Oh, not here. It’s kinda…well, I mean– you know how it is,” Daz laughs. “I have a good spot– mind if I teleport us?”

The guy gets up, seeming a little awkward. “Yeah, sure. Uh– still fuckin’ weird you’re an admin, y’know?” “Oh, it’s been weird for me too,” Daz hums as he inputs the coords to a place that’s near and dear to his heart.

There’s a low whistle as Theo surveys the Council HQ. “Shit, this place is nice. When’d you make it?”

“Years ago.”

He can tell Theo immediately catches the way he’s dropped his mask. The guy seems confused, so he laughs softly. “Oh, Theo…it’s really funny, y’know?” “...What is?”

“How stupid you are.”

Wings flaring as Daz advances, he smiles with far more menace than he should be capable of. “You and everyone else! I mean, gods– did you really never suspect me? That I could possibly be more than I let on? Poor, weak, innocent Daz, needing to be sheltered and protected…none of which are true.”

He advances into Theo’s space in the blink of an eye, expression twisting into a sneer. “I knew I was an admin, Theseus. I just hid it, because there was no point in catching anyone’s attention with it! I mean, fuck– admins are nothing but trouble. I hid my true self because I liked having that power over all of you. It was funny to watch everyone be so kind and considerate, unaware of just what kind of person I really am!”

Theo’s expression is stony. “Everyone but Aster. He fuckin’ realized, n’ we ignored him.”

Daz throws his head back and laughs.

“Aster, that fuckin’ traitor! I hate him, I hate everything he stands for. I hate his stupid fuckin’ face, his stupid fuckin’ voice, even his stupid fuckin’ morals! But, the funny thing is…we’ve been working together, you know?”

He forcibly directs Theo’s attention to the table in the center of the room. “This place is the headquarters of our little club– the Council of the Star. He’s lied to you, Theseus. He’s kept my true self hidden from you, because I tricked him into thinking I could be useful.”

A growl rises up from the back of his throat as he digs his nails into Theo’s upper arms. “But he betrayed me. He made a deal with the Scribe– the entity at the head of all of this bullshit with Observers and questions– to pry into my past. So…I’m ruining his life.”

Voice wavering, Theo tells him, “You’re fuckin’ lying.” “Think about how often Aster disappears for hours at a time. He’s been here, Theseus– helping prop up my lies.”

Theo wheels on him and snarls, “The fuck are you even doing all of this– what do you get out of fuckin’ telling me now?!”

Laughing, injecting a very real edge of hysteria into the sound, Daz tells him, “That bastard sees my thoughts, my memories, my past. It’s only a matter of time before I’m removed from Sanctuary, you know? So, like I said, before that happens…I’m going to destroy his life.”

Fury twists Theo’s expression as he takes his sword out. The air gets heavy and Daz’s heart soars. “Go on, then,” he mocks, arms flung wide. “Stab me, you won’t! You’re too much of a fuckin’ pussy, blinded by your own arrogance n’ stupidity!”

Relief sings through him as the sword moves with blinding speed.

The truth about Sanctuary’s respawns is that they aren’t actually infinite– you can still very much die. The secret is that, instead of a hard system tied to lives, it’s tied to something far much ephemeral.

It’s tied to your will to come back.

Sickness can override it in some cases, yes, but the far more dangerous factor is that if you don’t want to live…you can very much die.

And if you choose to die, that means that you can choose to be killed.

Theo wouldn’t be overly aware of this, of course. Why would he be? It’s not like he’d be haunted by the funeral of someone who gave up more than two years ago.

In this moment, Theo is lashing out in a way he’s been able to freely do many times before. He has no idea that this single thrust will kill him.

That’s the point. Theo’s sword will strike true, and he’ll be left only with Daz’s posthumous assurances that this is the only hope for Sanctuary.

The only hope for Lee.

But the sharp sound of metal on metal rips him from his final plan. Fury twists in his heart as Aster stands between them.

The traitor snarls, “You fucking sociopath–” “Step aside,” Theo snaps at him, teeth bared. “I’m not fuckin’ letting this go!”

“He’s tricking you, Theo!” “N’ you’d know all about that, huh?!”

Aster steps forward, shouting, “You stupid’ fuckin’ bastard, he’s trying to get you to kill him!” “Good! Maybe a fuckin’ sword to the–”

Grabbing his shirt, Aster yells, “Permanently!”

Gods fucking damnit. Seething, Daz says, “You really can’t just let me have my way, huh? Traitor.”

“You are a selfish coward–” “Me? Me?!”

Daz stalks forward and rips Aster away from his friend. He spins him around to the ground, yelling at him, “Your short-sighted mercy will damn all of you! One person– one fucking person, a person you don’t even fuckin’ like! I’m a broken, ruined husk of a person, shambling around by sheer force of will. I’ve been dead since before I ever set foot in this fuckin’ server!”

“You’re not cursed, you dipshit–” “Hah!” “You’re just fuckin’ unlucky! You really think nobody would have noticed if you were cursed?!”

Fury boils in his blood as he tries to stomp on Aster’s arm to break it– but the bastard just moves away. “Everyone who I love suffers; everyone who loves me dies! Of the body, of the spirit– it’s still a death!”

His attention snaps to Theo, whose face is ashen. Cooly, he says, “I’ve been training Lee. He’s been getting attached. His heart is big like that, you know? Big enough to love even a monster who’s lied to everyone for years.”

Aster tries to interrupt, “Daz, don’t you fuckin’ dare–”

“So,” he says, smiling at Theo and ignoring the idiot at his feet, “That’s why I need to die. If I’m alive, Lee will be ruined. Sanctuary will be ruined. And, well– everything is falling apart anyway. I can’t afford for all the work I’ve done to be wasted like this.”

Aster suddenly lets out what sounds like a sob. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” the bastard gasps, face ashen.

He must’ve seen something Daz wouldn’t want him to see, then.

“Aster–?” Theo seems concerned, wings flaring at his friend’s blatant distress. “Keep you fuckin’ mouth shut,” Daz growls, but Aster talks anyway.

“Will, he left a will– and all his– the shit he cares about, he doesn’t even have his cuff on–”

Theo suddenly grabs him and reaches for his neck. Daz glares at him but doesn’t bother stopping him. He knows Theo is searching for the necklace– Theo, above all other non-admins, understands the significance of an admin removing their claims.

The guy reels backwards, looking sick. “You don’t have your fuckin’-- the necklace Raine gave you.”

Rolling his eyes, he shoves his sleeve up. “Or my memorial cuff, no. I don’t deserve them anyway.” “Deserve?!”

“I’m a failure of an admin and cursed to boot. Even those pseudo-claims are more than I ever was worth.” His gaze flicks to Aster, and he scoffs, “I’m sure he can tell you more.”

A failure to the end! Incredible, just– how kind they try to be. They really don’t believe you’re as ruined as you are.

He knows.

Innit purrs, But it’s not too late. It wouldn’t be hard, just a few moments…you have a knife, you know how to pierce someone’s heart. Wouldn’t that be the fate you deserve? To die just like Tubbo did, to refuse their attempts to save you?

…That’s always an option, yeah.

But now that things have devolved this far…maybe he can just– tell them.

Finally, finally, finally rip off his mask and let them realized just how hopeless he always was. Useful, for a time, sure– but not someone worthy of their mercy.

The beast inside him chuckles, Since Aster already knows about me, you might as well just twist the knife in further. If Theo knows about me…well. It’s not like you can’t convince him that something with my knowledge who wants to see everyone here, especially his precious little brother die screaming– that I’m not a ticking timebomb.

Tell them about your biggest sin, Daz. Tell them about how they’ve had a prisoner trapped right under their noses this entire time, screaming for anyone to please not abandon it.

I bet DayDream would hate that. I bet even Lee might think less of you.

As little as Daz wants to listen to his admin side…it’s making several very, very, very good points.

He calmly sits down in his usual chair and looks to the bastard who’s backed him into this corner.

“Go on, then. Call for Day, so we can get this over with.”

Theo jolts a little. “The fuck do you need–” “They were already planning to drag him into this. And neither of you are admins, you won’t understand me. You won’t understand why I’m not worth saving.”

He idly messes with his earrings, murmuring, “It’s pathetic that I can’t even do this the way I wanted. I’m trying to protect all of you in the only way I can…but you don’t get it.”

His attention flicks to Theo and he scoffs, “There’s so much to lose, and so many more people who have something to live for. Clinging on to me when my death would fix so much…you really are stupid.”

Theo slumps down onto the stool that Lee has been using. Funny how he doesn’t question its presence here. “Stupid enough to almost fuckin’–” Grief and pain twist his expression and Theo looks away. “...You didn’t fuckin’ care about how I’d feel about killing you, did you?”

“Feeling hurt is better than everyone dying. I left an explanation, anyway,” Daz sighs, watching as Aster taps at his com.

Hate burns in his chest at how similar that asshole truly is to Dream. They’ve both ruined him in the name of protection– both ripped him open and committed a horrible, unspeakable violation of his agency and wants.

Aster sinks down next to him, in his usual seat. “Hate me as much as you want– I won’t stand by and let you die in a stupid self-immolation that will only cause more problems than it could possibly solve.”

“I don’t need your permission to hate you. Watch your fuckin’ back, traitor– I’ll make your life a living hell,” he seethes.

Tell him, you bastard. Confess your crimes, your sins!

He will, it just needs to be patient��

CONFESS, YOU GODDAMNED BASTARD! TELL THEM, MAKE SURE THEY KNOW HOW MUCH OF A MONSTER YOU REALLY ARE!

The noise makes him clutch his head and snarl, “Shut up! I won’t have that conversation twice, you fuckin’ asshole! Shut up, shut up, shut up–”

“Daz?! The fuck’re you–” “What’s going on, what are you–”

CONFESSCONFESSCONFESSCONFESSCONFESSCONFESS–

Tears burn at his eyes from the agony of his mind being clawed at, and he sobs out, “Innit, it’s Innit, fuck, you should know by now–!”

The screaming stops, and in the silence, he sees Aster’s expression of confusion suddenly shift into one of horror.

Innit, laughing in glee, crows, and now he knows! Watch as he learns everything about me– watch as he realizes how big of a monster you really are!

[characcoon]

Not really a question but,,, hi I'm but a humble fan of CoP 💖💖💖 idk how it is tbh if you're being pressured into getting the next chapter out as soon as possible or anything like that, but I wish you a cool and relaxing trip and to not feel stressed over this piece of MARVELOUS writing you're sharing with the world because you want to, take your time so you feel happy with what you make, my infinite kudos and goodest of vibes to you 💚❤💜💙🧡

sup! Happy you like my work!

I'm not being pressured by anyone but myself lol. The chapter is almost done tbh, I only need to wrap up a scene and introduce the following event, and I'd like to have that finished and published before my trip. Because I'll be away for TWO MONTHS, going back and forth quite a lot from one state to the other, and of course I'll still work on writing and arting and the such while I'm out, but yknow, way less than usual (sidenote I'm gonna be staying with family and honestly I dont want them seeing my works so yaaaa my rushing is kinda justified vkkdvks)

I'm glad for the concern, but I'm not really stressing myself over this, sooo. Theres a high possibility this chapter will be out today or tomorrow! Yippee!

[flower-blooming-in-hell]

i need to scream into the void for a minute here bc like. idk who i can tell this who will understand

just rambling abt mental health (ptsd + depression mainly) and transitioning

but just. !!!!!!!!! i just took my first dose of T!!!!!!!! i officially have my androgel at home! and i just applied it to my skin!! and im waiting for it to dry a lil bit more before i put anything on it (like the sweater im gonna wear to bed tonight)

and im like. i could honestly cry rn not in a bad way but in a "this has been coming for such a long time and im so excited for the future right now" kinda way

i think a reason ive always disliked myself is bc i hate being a girl honestly

my voice is too high and feminine, and my face has never looked like my own (though that could also have to do with the did but still)

im currently planning on ending up looking more androgynous atm, but honestly im on a low dose so i can see which changes i want and how far i want to go

tbh im thinkin i might just end up going all the way tho? not sure

or. all the way isnt the right words but yknow what i mean basically lol

its ? very interesting figuring myself out like this

like im not fully confident on who i am but i know what i want, and i dont want to be a girl. i never really have, and i knew that at a young age. and to a point i do identify with "girl/woman" but thats only bc i was raised one, so i have similar experiences to a lot of ppl who could be called girls/women

plus my mom is def bioessentialist (which i need to look up counterarguments for that tbh) and i love her to death but she just doesnt really understand ... a lot of things

plus yknow. trauma . ive never gotten to fully be myself - i have always been what other people want me to be. its... an experience and a learning curve, finally figuring out who and what i am.

tbh this feels similar to when i got published (technically. it was a competition thing and a prize was getting published alongside others) with the like ... sheer positive emotion and wanting to cry and shaking with the excitement of what ive achieved and get to have

its really weird, being this happy. i didnt think id ever get to feel this way, or that id be excited for the future or have plans for it like i do right now. ive always had the feeling of "theres more things i have to do, so im not finished here." but its never really come out as starkly as it is now.

im really, REALLY happy.

yknow, sometimes i look back on my abuser and think that we were made for each other, and that ill never achieve anything greater than having dated them

and i think this is the first time its actually fully setting in and really occuring to me that i can have a life without them. i dont need them. i never did, and i didn't truly gain anything from being so close to them for so long.

and while i will always be resentful for having to grow up so fast and that i spent so much time on them, and there are still a lot of times that i'm upset with myself for being so unfailingly kind and giving and resilient, times where i wish i broke and wasn't here anymore, i'm truly glad that i didn't and i'm still here.

and i'm happy that i'm not with them anymore.

and i'm glad that i got to have this. and that nobody i currently know will speak negatively about this to me.

sometimes it feels a lot like i move on from them in jagged bits and pieces of glass, like im tugging them out of my skin years after impact

this feels a lot less like that, and more like...

ever since they came into my life, ive felt like . corrupted, evil, gross, whore, etc compared to their bright white purity. like i could never measure up

i think this is the first time in years where ive actually felt pure, in any kind of way

excited for the future, happy, not focused on anyone but myself, confident.

ive always wanted a truly clean slate. and now i have that

i have a better idea of things i want now too, and ive been taking better care of myself as well, and i have so much more energy

i still wish they could see and that theyd be proud of me, instead of whatever the hell manipulative gaslighty bs theyd think up

but im not thinking about them that much either

this is something that i want, and the focus is rightfully on me

...its a slightly weird feeling, but i dont feel selfish for it, for once

[lixbf]

tbh eternals felt kinda underwhelming

[necro-hamster]

do you have any advice for digital artist who is just getting started with digital? i have a cheap tablet (wacom) and i use photoshop. thank you!<3 sorry for bad english

ok first of all your english is really good, dont apologize <3 second of all yeah i can give some advice! keep in mind that i am not a professional by any means, im just a 20 y/o who's mostly self taught. took a couple of classes in high school but honestly they didnt teach me much beyond what i already knew unfortunately. still, self taught is something, and clearly my art is decent enough that people enjoy it and are coming to me for advice, so! here's a list of advice i can think of.

stop using photoshop. this might be a bold one to start out with, but don't use photoshop for drawing, man. i know how to use photoshop REALLY well, i'm like taught in it. and that program is ASS even at editing photos, much less drawing. it's outdated and overpriced and really needs to stop being an industry standard. it's one thing if that's the program you've been using for years and you're comfortable with it, but if you're just starting out? ditch that shit. i personally use both sai2 and clip studio paint, but both of those are paid programs. not that i paid for them, but yknow. if you don't want to pirate or pay, some good free programs include krita and sketchbook pro ! also most programs come with a free trial you can test out.

the deform tool is ABSOLUTELY your friend, especially in the sketching phase. the face looks a little off? adjust it a bit instead of redrawing it. make it look perfect. leg not in the proper place? grab it and move it! just keep in mind that you should generally do this before you line/paint/etc. it's best to make these adjustments to the sketch, because oftentimes deforming something will reduce the quality of it. this depends on both the program and the amount of adjustment being done, but as just a general rule best to get this out of the way early on.

flip your canvas. a lot. this will REALLY help you. say you're drawing a guy standing up straight, and you're like huh, this looks kinda weird, but i can't tell why. it just looks super off for some reason. flip the canvas, and i can promise you that that drawing will be leaning all sorts of ways that will be immediately obvious to you once you're looking at it from that angle. make it look good from that angle too and it'll look WAY better from the normal angle.

on the same note, rotate your canvas! it'll really help you out just like rotating a piece of paper when you're drawing traditionally. a lot of people seem to just... not want to do this for some reason? but it's really a big help.

using references isn't just okay, it's something you should ABSOLUTELY be doing. idk why people online used to constantly cry about how using references is cheating, but it's not. using references is a great aid and will drastically improve your art.

use clipping masks !! say, you want to put some sparkles on your character, but you only want them on the character, not the background. instead of tediously going around the character and erasing the leftover sparkles from your brush, you can just make the layer of sparkles a clipping mask above your character layer, and that's it. no cleanup necessary, it'll only be on your character. this is a HUGE help.

experiment with shit!!!! play with brush settings, layer effects, textures, anything. get to know your program, and use everything you have at your disposal. nothing worse than finding out about a feature and thinking 'awh man i wish i knew about this three year earlier' but you just never found it because you never bothered clicking on that button.

i don't have much else at the moment, but if yall have any specific questions go ahead and hit me with em i guess

[fauslayer]

heidern and leona for the ask thing? (most obvious guy on earf)

SWAG lets go family!!!!

HEIDERN:

– Overall opinion of them

i love you peepaw. my best friend, gustav funny. he storm bringer'd me in a golden corral over some side his kids wanted.

– Gender/sexuality headcanons

transgender and bisexual and getting some would fix him.

– Favorite moment in canon

honestly. just the entire concept of him adopting leona. they are both hurt.

...and of course.

dont suck the energy out of the jeep.

– Favorite moment in a fanwork

three men and an orochi is quite possibly one of my favourite pieces of kof fan work et all. that pic of him teaching leona how to shoot is like. Hysterical.

– Favorite line, in canon or otherwise

i really wish he had more to pick and choose from when it came to winquotes (bc i dont want to use bunk old snk translations), but "You are a shooting star after all, it was fate for you to fall!" is like. a good example of his sort of theatric side-nature that we get to see sometimes that i think is fun. especially with the quotes kofxv counterpart: "Some superstar. You're burnt up."

hes got that sort of goofy killing edge thing going on. honorable mention to his line about revenge against gato because Yeah. i love you commander heidern.

– Characters I love seeing them interact with

putting the ikaris aside: the rival team and the other old guys. i love the dynamics he has with dolores and isla and i hope we get more of that in the future!

as for the old guys.

do i need to say what i think heidern and takuma are doing.

– Last thing before sleeping headcanons

dude that definitely used to sleep in his fatigues/bodysuit like an insane person and i know sometimes he still does . hes a grey t-shirt/plaid sweatpants guy to me tho.

– Sleeping habits headcanons

late sleeper, early riser, side-sleeper. he'll sometimes hug a pillow in his sleep but somehow he can turn it off if someones going to try and get a picture of it/walk in. sixth sense.

– First thing after waking up headcanons

brushes his teeth, THEN gets dressed so he doesnt feel like shit about getting dressed. its a life hack. showers when he wakes up.

– Favorite locations headcanon

Boat :)

LEONA:

– Overall opinion of them

I FUCKING LOVE YOU EL WIWONA

– Gender/sexuality headcanons

i think she could be nonbinary if she wants to be. but she is Definitely a lesbian to me.

– Favorite moment in canon

i forgot which ikari ending but the one where clark and ralf start beating the shit out of each other in front of her and she just smiles because god. this is my family. like an actual family. this rocks.

– Favorite moment in a fanwork

deploy the chang and leona friendship fic

– Favorite line, in canon or otherwise

YOUR HONOR.

THEY'RE SIBLINGS. |; |

– Characters I love seeing them interact with

besides the natural ikaris answer, i like her interactions with shun'ei in the manga. she doesnt really talk a lot to other people (and thats cool if she doesnt want to), but id like to see more glimpses of her outside of business, yknow?

– Last thing before sleeping headcanons

she just kinda changes pants, takes her hair down, and snzzzz.

– Sleeping habits headcanons

she has a habit of staying up late to me, couldnt tell you why. she gets a lot of reading done in bed. back sleeper.

– First thing after waking up headcanons

she takes her time planning her day in bed, and Then actually does it. this is only because she has to work around ralf and clarks morning shower block where they are both locked in mortal combat over who gets the hot water.

– Favorite locations headcanon

Boat :)

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[notnctu]

Johnny has a new tattoo and I’m over the moon with this news 😱 🤩 can I request a reaction with the members of 127 + ten finding out their s/o has a bunch of tattoos?

omg im on a social media cleanse (excluding tumblr) atm so im completely out of the loop for updates DID HE POST IT BC I WANT TO SEE IT SO BAD !?!WHAT IS IT DO U KNOW if anyone finds it on tumblr can they like... tag me LOOLOL

i hope i was able to do this request some justice as i dont have any tattoos myself but i really want some! & this prompt came conveniently after i just finished writing a tattoo scene for one of the ridin’ club :)

you can read it under the cut!

-author doie ❀

━ taeil:

“you are covered with intricate details in the most astonishing way.”

he radiates cool uncle vibes ngl so if he had a s/o with a bunch of tatts, he’d find them so so cool. like more of an admiration for your tiny details and he’s also the type to remember every special meaning/or if you don’t have one. he also won’t hesitate to always plant a kiss on his favorites. like he’d push your hair away that hid the one behind your ear, and graze his lips softly against the drawing.

━ taeyong:

“this one’s for you.”

cmon tae has a few of his own and so if he finds out that you also share the same love for tattoos, he’d be excited! such a sentimental, he’d definitely find a way to mark you on his own body. not anything too specific, but something special you both share that can be translated through an image. and bc you love him as much as he loves you, he’d be very honored if you were to get a tattoo designed by him!

━ johnny:

“it means everything important to me.”

as much as i would like johnny to pull up with a whole sleeve, i can kinda tell that he’s someone who likes tattoos that hold a lot of value to him? god the peak of his interest when he finds out you’re tatted up would sky rocket so hard. yknow why? bc he finds you utterly beautiful. every tattoo is special to you, and to see that importance represented on your body has him falling even harder for you.

━ yuta:

“be my first.”

yuta finds you bad ass af, like you’re already a bad ass to him but the tattoos are just the icing on the cake. seeing you with so many cool designs, he’d probably want to get one of his own and would ask you to choose his first one. not only because you clearly have an eye for such amazing pieces, but he wants his first to be memorable.

━ doyoung:

“i love all of them because they make up you.”

doyoung is tough to gauge, but overall he’d be in awe when he first notices your tatts. like he’d take your hand, lift up your sleeves without saying much and then whispering a small “wow”. and while he isn’t entirely expressive on the topic, its obvious, through his subtly praises and tiny kisses, that he loves the way every single piece of art come together to make a masterpiece that is you.

━ ten:

“match with me.”

this man got a whole tiddy tattoo ok he’s just as committed as you so if he sees that you’re covered in them, he won’t hesitate to talk up a storm about getting matching ones. especially, if you two have the same spot without one already there. ok ok lets not be too cheesy, he wont make it anything too grand to where you two both have a moon on your chest, but definitely something that pairs together. like a 1/2 fraction so together you two make a whole.

━ jaehyun:

“tell me about them.”

he waits to hear about your tattoo stories like theyre his favorite bedtime story. he’s intrigued, because every piece of art has a background story as to why it came to be. so if you have a bunch, he’d love to know all about each one. if anything, he’s more in love with your passion/excitement over your own tattoos, than he is about you having them.

━ jungwoo:

“this is my favorite one to trace.”

he love them. that’s all. hahah anyways, this soft baby loves loves that you’re tatted up not only bc you look super hot with them, but bc he loves tracing your lines! during cuddles, his fingers would dance across the ink lightly at an attempt to leave soothing touches, but also wishing to recreate your beautiful drawings with his fingertips. and he doesn’t miss a single fine detail that dot your skin.

━ mark:

“it’s like art on art.”

his reaction would be kind of childlike? Like very amazed and constant exclamations of praise! more of like a marveling the work of the artist and honestly finds your tattoos super cool and fun, but also appreciative of how unique they each are. he already thinks that you’re a piece of art alone, so he always says that it’s art within an art piece.

━ haechan:

“one of my favorite y/n things.”

he lwk the type to tell you to show them off? more like a strong advocate for your art to be on display, because he thinks they’re wonderful and obviously have become a part of you. and he’s never one to want any part of you to be hidden, he wants your creativity to be expressed. which also goes into how it’s one of the things he loves the most about you.

[sukirichi]

hello! um

i just wanted to pass around to say that i cant stop thinking about your mitsuya fic (yea the one that fucked us all up)

it has literally lingered in my mind since i finished it, sounds really weird but it just got like... plastered in me. i dont know how to explain it. cause when im doing my everyday shit, it suddenly overcomes me, this random ass sad feeling that started since the moment i read it. and its just so weird.

even the song that you attached, that accompanied me while i was reading, has stayed with me ever since. and the freakiest thing is that i actually dont understand a single word from it because i dont speak that language at all, but i still felt it in the deepest part of my being. everything felt real, raw. the pain crossed my phone screen and went direct to my fucking heart but it was just..so..beautiful..

the draken appereance and dialogue caused irreparable damage (the entire thing did but i needed to remark this) and i wanted to point this out honestly cause damn, the writing was immaculate. there were TEARS and im not even an draken x emma shipper cause im a selfish mf

quitting the crap, im being honest when i ask you to embrace the talent you have with words and dont ever let it go, cause it will take you places, its gift, for real.

so thank you so much for sharing it with us and also, thank you for all the feelings you awakened with your writing. excitement, despair, shyness, pure love but also pure sadness, they were all overwhelming; but that was the best part of the fic, cause all those emotions make us humans, we feel, and thats fine. right suki? you fucking nailed this.

i will never forget this story and it will take some time for me to get over it (cause for now im pretty much fucked), but i will be around reading more of your stuff cause its incredible.

good luck! take care and have a nice one, much love to you <3

*sends virtual hugs*

okay uhm, i received this the other day when i was crying a lot bcos i had a bad day and anon i was just like. speechless. left to ponder for a moment because wow like genuinely i am taken aback with your kind words. i think you dk how much this message means to me but yeah it really does mean a lot, i remember reading this for the first time and crying harder bcos i was like,,,ah life is not that bad yknow? there are good people out there who take their time sending me sweet messages and idk im sorry im just so emotional rn thank you very much 😭

is it weird that i am actually quite warmed by the thought people have lingering feelings and still think about my stories even after reading it? bcos as an avid reader, i feel that a lot. i read a piece and it hits me hard that i just carry it with me and for me, i think its a very beautiful thing that we somehow leave little pieces of ourselves to others and just...i just find it very nice and heartwarming. so yeah this ask really got me bawling BAKSKWKW. that mitsuya angst meant a lot to me 😭 oftentimes its up to my dedication to finish a fic, but that mitsuya fic was one of those fics that i wrote bcos the idea just sat heavily to me and the words were flowing, the emotions were felt and i was like. lost in that zone. so yeah i perfectly pictured them and i was extremely passionate about that certain story so knowing that people connected to something i poured my heart on - and that you really took the time to let me know your thoughts - it reallt does make me happy and just so ?? IDK THE WORD IM AWKWARD UH WHAT ARE WORDS BUT BASICALLY it just,,,hits me deep in the heart, in a very good way !! and i could be wrong but the song i attached was talking about how two people wished that when they confess, they would be received or met halfway. ofc there’s also this HUGE fear of confessing your feelings which i am an expert of bcos i like to keep things to myself ��� but yeah idk the fic just hits diff to me.

“everything felt real, raw.” ANOM I CANT EVEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID I JUST WANNA REPEAT IT OVER N OVER AGAIN IM SO GRATEFUL AAAHH PLSSS TAKE MY HEART RN 😭😭😭 and omg yes the draken appearance, i feel like he just HAD to show up again bcos someone needed to bear witness of someone’s love at least yknow ?? i feel like...silent lovers are underrated. and i just really wanted draken to carry on the precious memories of mitsuya and y/n’s gifts and feelings shown and accepted in its own way. ALSO YEAH I AGREE lmfao in fanfics i am totally draken x y/n all the way i am so sorry 😭 but when we’re talking about canon, draken x emma just hits diff lemme cry again 😭

ANON UHM TBH you literally left me speechless im kinda just sat here bumbling and fumbling and i really wish i could thank you more properly bcos uhm this message cracked my heart from the overwhelming emotions but then patched it up again and yes i love you thank you sm 😭😭😭 wish you could just read my mind so you’d know how happy i am to hear this but lemme say this again anon THANK YOU VERY MUCH 😭💕 have an even nicer day and i send all my love to you anon !!

[babysizedfics]

Roman involuntarily going into littlespace because he's repressing it, cgs comfort him that its ok to be little

so on saturday roman became upset by something, and usually he can cope. but the thing is, in the last few weeks he has been repressing his littlespace A LOT because he felt like he just got his adult life back, and he throws himself 100% into things

he threw himself into littlespace at first and now he threw himself into adult life and ignored his age dreaming. even when he wanted to he forced himself to keep being grownup - or in his teen headspace if he needed to get out frustration

but this time he couldnt actually help it, he accidentally started feeling really little to cope with his negative emotions. it wasnt even that bad what happened, but its the stick that broke the camels back yknow - basically he had to feed vee at snacktime and she got messy and roman complained she was gross then ppl on the blog called him mean for saying it

so roman was suddenly little, and went to sit with his family bc he didnt want to be alone but he still hid being little. he just stayed silent, even while internally he just kept thinking i want daddy i want my daddy i wanna be held i want mommy to say its all okay

then vee fell asleep in mamas lap and logan took her up to bed, and when he returned to the living room with patton and roman he jokingly asked "so i take it snacktime went well going by the applesauce all over her clothes?"

and romans face immediately crumpled and he started crying

it was so sudden and unexpected and out of character, the caregivers were frozen for a moment as roman desperately hid his face in his hands and folded into himself on the couch

when roman cries its very quiet too, so even though he was close to sobbing he bit his lip hard so he didnt make a sound and was just sniffling and tiny whimpers kept escaping

the caregivers hearts broke a little

logan immediately crouched in front of ro asking "roman what happened? why are you upset sweetheart?"

meanwhile patton jumped up from his chair and quickly scooched over on the couch to be right next to ro and put an arm around him "honey, can you tell us what you need?"

and at that roman just whimpered "daddy" in his super little voice, strained from holding back his cries

"oh little prince" patton cooed sounding heartbroken, he wiggled his free arm under romans legs and shuffled him into his lap in seconds. "shh, it's okay, daddys got you baby"

roman tensed and logan gave patton a stern look at the nickname slip, and patton hurriedly apologized - its just natural for him to use that word

usually roman is a tad insecure about the fact that hes taller than patton when hes in psttons lap bc hes worried it looks weird, but he didnt have the energy to worry this time and just lets his daddy cradle his head to his shoulder and rock him as romans cries got harder to hold back. it felt such a relief to finally be little and let his daddy take care of him, but it was v overwhelming since it was basically involuntary

logan swiftly joined them on the couch, pressing himself right up against patton and rubbing his hand firmly over romans back and shushing him gently and reassuring "good boy. it's okay, let it out. its okay to cry little one" because he knows how embarrassed roman gets about crying, especially when little

but then roman choked through his tears "n-not sposed to be - be l-little!" then sniffled and whimperd again and buried a sob in pattons shoukder

and logan calmly managed to coax him to talk about why, in the same way he coaxed vee into evaluating why she thought diapers werent for her in labd. lots of gentle prodding into why roman answers the way he does, why is he supposed to be big, why is being little bad

patton knew to stay quiet during this process, just squeezing roman to encourage him to answer, and kissing his wet cheek when he says something that makes pattons heart ache

then eventually logan got roman to admit that hes been forcing himself to be bigger because he thought he should be big to not bother the caregivers and to help look after vee and so he is "more of a real grownup" when hes with his friends

the thing is once you manage to break into that well of emotion that romans been repressing, he cant stop it from flowing. so once they reached that conclusion roman just kepts rambling (all while little and stumbling over his words)

"i i been tryna be a big big boy and big brother for vee vee cos shes a baby and needs a big brother... b-but i dont wanna be that big all the time, its too big, i wanna be a little big brother again. too much big"

then patton sighed "oh sweetheart, we know youve been much more grownup recently but we thought it's because you wanted to be big"

" i do!" roman argued loudly, more tears building "b-but little too a-and... and i dunno" he finished in a sob, and patton quickly pulled him closer to his chest and rocked him

logan realised roman is too little to have such a complex discussion about tricky emotions, so he promised that the following day they would all have a big grownup talk about how to help roman find a better balance.

"but for tonight" logan whispered, leaning down and kissing romans head and cupping his jaw gently and looking at him gently "mommy and daddy are going to take care of our sweet little prince. how does that sound, little one?"

romans lip wobbled and he nodded and launched himself into mommy lap to give him a tight hug

so that night logan and patton gave their full attention to taking care of roman and helping him be extra little - they watched disney movies and held their little prince and encouraged his headspace, singing along to the songs and poking roman playfully to get him to giggle and sing along too but much quieter than usual.

patton even reminded roman when to go use the potty, not because roman would ever have an accident but because its another way of showing roman that daddy is taking care of him and to reinforce that younger headspace that ro so clearly needed that night

they were all squished onto the one couch - its big enough for them to spread out but logan and patton sat shoulder to shoulder, with roman laid across pattons lap and his head on logans shoulder. with daddy letting roman play with his fingers as a fidget and logan scritching his nails gently at the base of romans neck which makes him sleepy

and every once in a while, logan would lean down and kiss romans temple so gentle, seemingly randomly but actually its that logan kept thinking about how little he knows about romans mental state recently. and whenever he thought "god i wish i knew what was going on in his head", he would lean down and kiss it in the hopes it plants the thought in romans mind that his parents love him

roman was actually very low energy - usually his littlespace is defined by playfulness and loudness and running and jumping and dancing, but on that specific night he was very quiet, very sleepy, and very very cuddly. he really just needed to feel protected because it was such a vulnerable state for him, being involuntarily little, so just letting his caregivers take full control and take care of him and look after him was exactly what he needed

he would never ever say this to anyone and the caregivers agreed to not tell vee or anyone else, but i think they actually had snacks at one point and roman was just so muted and sleepy and clingy that he didnt wanna let go of daddys hand to get some popcorn even though when patton asked roman admitted he was hungry... so logan offered to feed him, and roman very shyly accepted and let logan put lil pieces of popcorn in his mouth

he thought it was embarrassing, but it actually gave him more energy both because popcorn is yummy and because he found it fun and got kindve giggly - to which patton of course told him he was adorable

after the first movie though vee actually woke up from her nap regressed and the caregivers took it in turns looking after her while the other stayed and cuddled roman extra tight

but soon vee was put in bed for good for the night - roman actually got a little upset again because he assumed since mommy was putting the baby to bed, that meant it was romans bedtime too and he would have to be all alone in his room.

but then logan returned to the living room with the baby monitor in hand and immediately asked "so what movie next, sweetheart?"

bedtime be damned, the caregivers stayed up watching disney films with their little one until he fell asleep snuggled in his mommys lap

just imagine those really gentle vibes when you fall asleep on the couch as a kid and your parent gently wakes you up and leads you up to bed. Exactly like that, patton very gently woke roman up once the credits were rolling like an hour after roman dropped off to sleep

"mmh... daddy.. wha?" roman mumbled sleepily

and patton smiled, happy that roman was still letting himself be little. and of course in that moment he decided there was no way roman was going to sleep alone that night.

"c'mon honey, up up"

roman whined as logan helped push him off his lap and stand up

"i know sweetie. but you can sleep in my bed tonight, isn't that exciting?"

as soon as roman heard that it gave him more motivation to let his daddy hold his hand and carefully lead him upstairs to pattons room while roman is just blinking sleepily and letting his cg take full control and take care of him

logan helps to set up romans njghtlight in pattons room while patton helps roman brush his teeth, and then gives roman one last hug and big soft kiss on his head. "we can talk about it when youre big, but i promise you can be little for as long as you want, ok?"

roman sighed sleepily "ok mommy"

"good night little one, i love you" another forehead kiss

"love you mommy"

and then logan went off to his own bed while patton got him and roman settled in his bed for the night. logan honestly knew he wasnt the best person to take care of roman overnight because he really isnt a cuddly sleeper but roman really is, so he trusted pstton to be the primary caregiver and cuddle roman in bed

meanwhile logan kept vees baby monitor in his room which isnt how it usually goes. usually its in patton room bc patton is a light sleeper and likes to be the one to take care of his baby if she wakes up in the night, but logan took on that job for that night so that patton could focus fully on roman

...

the next day roman was still little but in the playful bouncy way again almost instantly! then when he grew up later in the day the three of them had a serious talk about how to help roman feel better about his littlespace/grownup life balance

logan broke it down into exact hours for roman - they realised that there was 20-25 hours every week where roman had to be grownup for various commitments and responsibilitiea. and the other 148 hours? (ish bc i cant remember the maths lol) logan and patton assured roman he could be little for all of those other hours if he really wanted to be and they would be completely okay with it

and seeing it broken down into numbers and basic stuff really helped roman , he is still going to struggle a little with letting himself be extra little when he needs it, and itll be tricky for him to find a good balance of little vs big because he gets so invested in one headspace so easily, but its backed up by those numbers and by the knowledge that his caregivers really do love to take care of him

[sadie-wolfdawn]

hi i too play sso and dont know anything abt horses and i always worry abt certain gear (tack?) being not good for the horses. like im always like oh god. i hope my horse is comfortable yknow

awww thats the sweetest anon. caring about a digital horses comfort is 10/10 relatable.

tbh all of ssos gear is going to be pretty comfy? they dont have any tack thats like. "uh holy shit why would you even make that much less use it on a horse you sadist". Heres some simple break downs for you though on common sso tack and why!

Saddles: there are two types in the game- western and english. A western saddle is sort of your traditional cowboy style saddle and is made to keep the rider very secure in the saddle and not fall off (very important if you're working a large herd of cattle- falling off your horse and being trample by cows sounds like the worst thing ever). its good for: trail riding, climbing obstacles, small jumps, being comfy for the mcs butt. An english saddle is the lighter saddle in the game, and iirc came from cavalry. good for: mobility, lots of jumping, lots of mounting / dismounting. Its designed to be light weight and easy for the horse to carry, to offer the horse a lot of freedom of movement, to offer the rider a lot of mobility in saddle if they need to dismount quickly or clear a large jump. Easier to fall out of in turn though- meaning if you often use this saddle, your mc is a killer rider and I wish I was them 😂

Saddle pad: for three reasons- 1) fashion, 2) keeping your saddle clean (from sweaty dirty horse back lol), 3) providing padding / sweat absorption / shock absorption for the horse. A key piece of tack for horse and human comfort, but also just fashion.

bridles: discussed a bit before, but honestly all sso bridles are gentle enough- mostly about what you prefer for fashion here

boots / leg wraps: protect the horses feet from scrapes (from plants etc), and fashion!

accessories: all fashion here. irl it can be used to say a horse is a stallion / new to being ridden / kicks, but obv not a thing in sso, so go ham

[lilatreus]

All of my thoughts on Assassin’s Creed Valhalla!

Of course there are major spoilers for the game and ending. I know it’s been out for like three months now but you never know so I’m putting it all under the cut. And yes this is pretty long. A summary is at the end of the entire text.

also pls don’t send me hate like y’all did for what I said about odyssey literally these are just my opinions on the game if u dont care for them pls just skip I have a lot to say about it and there is actually quite a few things that I really enjoyed when playing the game and if u do read it pls don’t hesitate to shoot me messages and talk to me about the game bc I really enjoy the franchise and I need some more people to talk to in this fandom.

What I enjoyed about the game!!

The blending in with the monks/prayers in the streets to get pass the guards!!!!! Dude!!!!! I know it’s like a really small detail but it just made me so happy because it reminded me of when you had to do that in the first assassin’s creed game. It’s a nice touch of nostalgia and really liked it.

The “glitches” (while some were annoying) I’m super super happy that they were kind of bringing back the glyphs from assassins creed two. I loved doing them because I loved trying to get the little movie. It was really nice of them to bring that back so we can get another little movie like the one from AC2 again.

I think we can all agree: Hytham was a great character. I wish he was more involved in the story than already but that’s just me. I really liked his character so much he’s my favorite from the game.

Desmond having some Easter eggs and basically coming back into the series again was great. It was also a nice touch to see the vault from assassins creed three (the place where des dies). It really makes me miss connor and his band of assassins. I miss assassins creed three :( I want more about Connor please put out some more comics with him in it or some easter eggs please I’m begging you. Also fuck u haytham kenway I hate u.

Shaun and Rebecca being back and now it’s canon that they’re together is fucking awesome. I’m actually really happy about that and I missed them so much. I’m glad they’re in the story again. (Rebecca dude I was so worried that she died like no fucking joke I was so upset I thought syndicate really killed her off).

The game itself actually did very well keeping with the lore we were given from assassins creed origins and was actually doing pretty well trying to connect it to the first assassin game.

Speaking of lore I do think they did the best they could to expand upon the not so well liked lore from odyssey and try and fix it but also it did feel a little confusing but I guess that’s just because i didn’t finish the Asgard missions yet so who knows.

The scenery was very very beautiful and I throughly enjoyed walking around and just admiring the view no matter where I was on the map.

Reda just becoming immortal is so funny and the fact that he was just sitting there telling stories about Aya and Bayek.. please my heart. I love them so so much. The letter Bayek wrote??? Soulmates I’m telling you.

Also I did like that they fixed their plot hole for why Bayek and Aya aren’t known for anything history wise in the story (or mainly why Bayek isn’t in the assassin’s history books and Aya, as Amunet, is really the only one written down). I’m very glad that they explained it and I really think I’m just super happy that Bayek was brought back for some easter eggs within the game.

Basim is very handsome and I liked him but I don’t know how to feel about the ending with him. Yes I do love his character and it was super cool to hang around him and do a couple of missions with him but also it felt weird that now you’re technically playing as the bad guy.

Eivor was really cool to play as. I enjoyed running around as them and doing missions. I like the fact that Eivor was basically like “yo you guys [ pointing to the brotherhood ] are fucking crazy but you guys [ pointing to the templars/order of ancients ] are really fucking crazy and weird.” I really loved basically being an assassin and using the hidden blade again. (Yeah I know they technically aren’t an assassin but yknow just an honorary one).

The Canterbury Tales!! The fucking pardoner’s tale!! That was super cool to do I loved those stories and being able to do them in the game made me super happy. I know it doesn’t actually fit the timeline given it wasnt written until like centuries after the game took place but I just thought that side mission was neat!

Fulke was a very cool templar and I thought her character was really really interesting. I wish they did more with her honestly.

What I didn’t like about the game:

So! Speaking of templars! Boy oh boy I have a lot to say for that subject. So for “the order of ancients”:

— I think my biggest problem with this game (as well as odyssey) is that the templars (“OOA”) aren’t actually important to the game anymore. They’re barely in the story now like out of all 20 or so people you have to kill within their order only like 5 or 6 are actually important to the storyline and that’s my biggest problem with it, because now killing the templars is just like a “well since you’re in the area you can kill this dude” and I really hate it. I truly believe that’s why I didn’t like odyssey that much solely bc they made doing the most core part of the video game series a damn side mission and that also goes for Valhalla.

— Also so many of the templar stories, like scenes we get after you kill them, were just so bland. They don’t make them like they used to and that’s another big core part of the series lost.

— They’re straying very far from the main plot of the series and that’s why these last two games didn’t feel anything like an assassin’s creed game. (And you can’t say that “it’s just different because they’re taking place in a time way before the templars were called templars” bc assassins creed origins did very well to changing their game and how they play but also keeping the main goal from previous games: To be an assassin and kill the templars.)

— Also they need to not show us the outline of who the templars are because I could tell who “the father” was as soon as I was able to see the order tab. Please Ubisoft do better.

I know I said this before however the fucking Beowulf mission. My God Did I Hate That. I was really looking forward to the dlc and to see what they did with the story sucked. In Odyssey we got actual Greek monsters and gods and I expected to be given that in Valhalla for the norse deities. And it didn’t happen. (As of right now I can’t comment on the Asgard missions because I haven’t finished them but I’ll probably edit the post and put them in later)

As of right now with the ending and lore shit I’m really kind of indifferent with it. On one hand they are trying to fix the lore that they kind of fucked up in Odyssey by adding more things to explain it better but also that means they added on unnecessary stuff that makes no sense. On the other hand I really hate that Layla is now technically canonically dead because shes now in the grey and basim now has the one thing that would’ve kept her alive. I really wanted them to do more with her like they did with Desmond. I genuinely enjoyed her as a main protagonist and it sucks that she is now dead. Layla deserves so much better honestly!!!!

Also on des: While I don’t want to smack away a fan service gift that includes desmond; it did kind of feel weird that he’s back in the series. Honestly I don’t know how to go about this. I’m super excited that technically desmond is back in a way but on the other hand I wanted them to focus on Layla more and :( Idk man it’s complicated. They have to stop changing the story’s main protagonists Layla deserved to be in more games and hopefully she will be because her “death” felt so cheap. I also wish they explained what happened with her during the year apart from odyssey and Valhalla.

The side missions I have no problem with except for the fact that the little side mission icon just stayed in the place you first show up to to get the mission. I miss the old side mission mechanic bc this new one felt really really confusing and it made me get lost quite a few times.

This one might just be me but I guess they’re expanding more on the gods reincarnating but they’re not focusing on the sages anymore? Like when will Elijah Miles (the newest sage) be shown?? Odyssey fucked up that lore bit but now they’re not even talking about it because any isu god can reincarnate or can take ahold of anyone if they interact with a piece of eden or something. Idk this one little bit is super confusing for me right now and I don’t like that it’s confusing so I will be doing more research on the isu (again) to understand what the fuck is going on with this damn part of the lore.

I know that this is a game where you kill people but this whole game felt so gore-y that I like had to drop it for a bit. Like dude I didn’t really expect that. This one I really feel like is just me. I did not expect to like hear bones breaking when I played it.

The storyline felt kind of all over the place like yes I could understand the big part of the story but also it was all over the fucking place. I just miss the old plot I really do that had a system that was so good it caused several games to follow it’s lead. (I miss AC1 please remaster that damn game)

Also maybe it’s just me but the story felt so slow at the beginning when ur going to England. Literally I hate to say this bc I love this whole series but I was more happy about finally finishing the main storyline than I was while playing the game.

All in all: I did like the game. I did have fun even though some parts were rough. I’m super glad that they got rid/fixed the ship mechanic because I hated every fucking naval battle in assassins creed and that’s something I was worried about doing when I saw that we had longships in the story. The game was enjoyable and it had a lot of great side characters like Hytham, Gunnar, and Yanli. Basim was a treat, though I hope they explain more about him bc I’m going to be honest he’s a bit confusing with this whole loki thing. But yeah this is all I have so far on the game. If you actually read all the way down here comment or like shoot me message to talk about it bc I really really want to talk about the game. Pls pls pls.