#i dont have the sources on these unfortunate so feel free to speed past them until i reverse search them properly
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vexx-the-egg · 1 year ago
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I think one of the Worst Things about wanting to find period clothing from other cultures, is trying to find fucking casual/work clothes. Like no, I do not want to see all these fancy intricate kimonos, I want to see jinbei, and field work outfits so I don't put a damn obi on this poor boy so he has a belt to hang his knife from.
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ta96msfn-blog · 5 years ago
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toyota insurance claim
toyota insurance claim
toyota insurance claim
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancefinder.xyz
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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago
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The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters
In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets.
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Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.
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Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.
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Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this
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This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.
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The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.
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The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object
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So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke
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Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.
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See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..
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Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.
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About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.
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Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/
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oajpw5f3-blog · 5 years ago
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itsjessicaisreal · 6 years ago
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Almost 60% of marketers haven’t implemented AMP, see why (and why it’s no excuse)
When it comes to page speed, a few seconds of slowdown can cost you. Slow load times cripple conversion rates, raise the price you pay for ad impressions, and even drive qualified traffic to your competitors.
All this being true, Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP) would seem like the hail mary pass that marketers have been waiting for. Essentially, AMP is a Google-backed framework for creating web pages that deliver near-instant load times, even on mobile. I say “near-instant” here, but I like how the AMP Project itself puts it: AMP pages are “so fast they appear to load instantly.”
What does AMP mean for marketers? Faster delivery of your content, for one thing. The end of waiting altogether, maybe. Ultimately, AMP can result in a significant uptick in traffic and improved conversion rates overall.
So, naturally, every marketer is planning to adopt it in 2019, right? Right!?
*record scratch*
Marketers have been slow to adopt AMP for a variety of reasons (via Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report).
Wait, wait, I can explain. As part of our 2019 Page Speed Report, we asked marketers if they planned to implement AMP in the near future. 57% of them told us they have no plans to implement it, while 23% are still considering it.
Those who haven’t adopted the framework have a range of reasons why, but they fall into three broad categories:
AMP requires a significant investment of developer resources.
AMP is poorly understood (or perhaps poorly messaged).
Google’s past behavior has made some people wary of AMP.
I’ll explore these reasons in further detail below. For now, it’s worth saying that each has some validity. But I don’t think any of them—alone or together—should be your excuse not to implement AMP for your marketing campaigns.
In the long run, businesses who overcome these objections will be better positioned than those who don’t, despite perceived drawbacks. As I wrote elsewhere, “Turbo-charged landing pages result in more traffic and higher engagement, boosting conversions and helping PPC campaigns win increased ad impressions for less.” The AMP framework helps you achieve this kind of performance, even on a smartphone.
Want more insights about page speed? You can explore all the findings in the complete 2019 Page Speed Report for Marketers here. Access is free and ungated, so take a look.
Reason 1: Limited development resources
A significant hurdle that marketers face when it comes to adding AMP to their site has to do with technical resourcing. Four of the answers to our survey question touched on this problem:
Developers are not experienced with coding for AMP (12% of respondents)
No developer capacity to implement it (32% of respondents)
Too time-consuming to implement it (12% of respondents)
Validation issues with AMP pages we did create (2% of respondents)
It’s no secret that AMP comes with a steep-ish learning curve.
By using a restricted version of HTML and a custom JavaScript library, the framework ensures an optimized (read: fast-loading!) experience. Using Google’s AMP Cache (a content delivery network that stores your page on Google’s servers) further accelerates your pages.
But it also requires your developers to dedicate time to learning and mastering AMP-HTML and the AMP JavaScript library. And since Google’s AMP Cache requires validation once you’ve built an AMP page, there’s really no “good enough” moment here. Either your page works and goes live, or it doesn’t and you need to find your error. Who feels motivated to learn under those conditions?
AMP validation in action—or should I write, “inaction”? (via The AMP Project).
By its very nature, the limitations of AMP also demand a certain, let’s say, technical dexterity. Because bloated scripts tend to be a major contributor to slowdown, AMP’s JavaScript library puts the brakes on the third-party scripting that people have gotten used to using. (And AMP HTML comes with its own quirks.) Working within these constraints can often produce innovation, but it’s also a source of frustration for many who just wanna get stuff done.
Finally, poor analytics has been significant speed bumps on the road to AMP adoption. Tracking and analyzing visitor behavior is an integral part of running an online marketing campaign, but early in its life, AMP asked us to go blind. No thank you.
Why time and dev work are no excuse…
First, let’s be real: the AMP framework is a set of restrictions. That’s the point. So wishing for an AMP without any limitations at all doesn’t make sense.
In addition, many of the difficulties that plagued developers in the early years of AMP are no longer an issue. Tracking, for instance, has improved dramatically since AMP launched in 2015. Today, by using the AMP Analytics tag, you can isolate and analyze AMP traffic in Google Analytics. Though it can’t yet do everything that standard tracking can, it will collect data about users, pages, browsing, and (most significantly) events. As Search Engine Journal points out, “for most content marketers, that’s sufficient.” Not a ringing endorsement, sure, but tracking is now good enough for most marketing purposes.
As AMP development has continued, scripting has also become more robust, and the options available have expanded. Unfortunately, many people rely on scripts from third parties for tracking and integrations, but a lot of companies have been slow to deliver AMP-compatible versions. As adoption has increased, however, so too has the pressure on these companies to deliver.
That said, some of what AMP asks us to leave behind is also inessential. Pages clogged by unoptimized script may soon be looked upon we look at the tailfins on the back of a 50’s Cadillac. (Or, hey, remember the heady days when every site seemed to require Macromedia Flash? When it comes to the web, more isn’t always better.)
Reason 2: Some marketers really don’t get this whole AMP thing
Despite having a mouth to Google’s megaphone, the AMP Project has struggled to be heard beyond web development or publishing circles. When we asked marketers in The Page Speed Report, we discovered the following:
There’s a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to AMP (via Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report).
While 54% of the digital marketers said they have some understanding of AMP, the rest assuredly did not. A quarter of ’em hadn’t even heard of Accelerated Mobile Pages before taking our survey.
Why misunderstanding is no excuse…
First, AMP is hardly floundering, despite the fact that you may not have heard about it. It has the combined might of Google, Pinterest, Twitter, WordPress, and Bing backing it. And AMP already covers more than 31 million domains serving billions of AMP pages. If you browse the web on your smartphone, in other words, chances are very strong you’ve visited an AMP page.
AMP pages appear in the search results with a lightning bolt icon.
Second, if you hadn’t heard of AMP until you read this article, no worries—because now you have. That gives you an advantage over the 24% of marketers who’re still in the dark. It’s always best to think competitively about page speed. Knowing about AMP (and implementing it) can put you out in front of your competitors by dramatically improving your load times.
EDITOR’S NOTE. There’s a lot of misinformation or misunderstanding out there about AMP. You can read more about AMP and its myths in this blog post from Unbounce’s Larissa Hildebrandt.
Reason 3: Google is “evil” now
Even before they stripped the “don’t be evil” clause from their official code of conduct last year, Google earned a reputation for shady doings.
With the launch of the AMP Project in October of 2015, though, they stirred up a controversy that they didn’t seem to anticipate. Critics were quick to argue that AMP represents yet another move to lock down the web, gallingly disguised as an open-source project.
Many of these accusations point to the Google AMP Cache, which speeds up delivery of content by storing your pages on Google’s servers. AMP doesn’t actually require using Google’s cache—people can create their own—but this tends to be how it’s done. In most cases, the content lives with Google, and a searcher may never touch your actual website. As Daniel Miessler puts it, this is potentially “poisonous to the underlying concept of an open internet.”
Why it’s no excuse…
The language of dissent can get a little, uh, heated (see Barry Adam’s colorful “Google AMP Can Go To Hell”) but a free and open internet is a public good we should be all getting behind. Keeping Google from controlling the entire universe is a definite good for free speech and democracy. (And it’s better for business too.)
But so is delivering fast speeds so that more people can access the web. And AMP helps with that, big time. Remember, the loss of net neutrality means providers can potentially throttle speeds, offering “slow” and “fast” lanes depending on what customers can afford. And 70% of connections globally will remain 3G or slower through 2020 regardless. For these reasons, AMP seems downright necessary, and that’s why news organizations—like The Guardian and The New York Times—were among the first to adopt it.
For what it’s worth, Google has pled innocent in the court of public opinion. In September they took steps to distance themselves from the AMP Project by adopting a new governance model that includes other companies. What this means is that—though Googlers conceived and shepherded AMP—its future is now squarely in the hands of a group that may not always act in the tech giant’s interests. That’s a very good thing.
Why marketers should implement AMP
It’s well-known that delays can create anticipation. But make no mistake, your sluggish website in no way resembles the slow, sultry, seductive pour of Heinz ketchup onto a plate of golden french fries. In fact, the experience has more in common with waiting for your number to be called at the DMV.
By making prospects sit through delays, you’re serving up a heaping helping of frustration, annoyance, and uncertainty. All before they ever even see your content…
…or, rather, if they ever see your content. Because many of ’em won’t make it that far. In Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report for Marketers, a majority of consumers told us that they’ll wait 4-6 seconds before giving up on a slow page.
A majority of consumers say they’ll wait 4-6 seconds before clicking away (via Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report).
Data gathered by Google says the actual number is closer to 3 seconds. After that, many consumers told us they close their browser or even go to a competitor’s site instead. 45% of them told us that a slow loading site makes them less likely to make a purchase. If you want to get fast—like, really, really fast—AMP can get you there.
Unbounce + AMP
It’s no secret we’re bullish on AMP at Unbounce. That’s because Accelerated Mobile Pages have many tangible benefits as a quick way to create a near-instant visitor experience. Not only can they have a dramatic effect on your conversion rates, but they can also increase organic traffic overall and improve Quality Scores in Google Ads.
We were surprised to learn in the Page Speed Report how many marketers are avoiding AMP due to difficulty with developer resources. So, as part of our initiatives to improve page speeds, we’ve sought to make AMP friendlier to the non-developer, reducing or eliminating frustration. You can now drag and drop together AMP experiences, and we’re walking you through what AMP is, why you need it, and how to implement it.
So what’s the ultimate reason you no longer have an excuse for not implementing AMP?
Because we’re making it much easier.
In the coming weeks, we’ll be making AMP landing pages available to all Unbounce customers. Using them can still mean choosing efficiency over flashy scripts, but we’ve already seen our beta test community finding new ways to balance beauty and speed. We’re excited to hear how AMP landing pages impact your conversion rates when they hit. And I’m excited to start sharing some success stories (and actionable takeaways) with readers of this blog.
from Marketing https://unbounce.com/online-marketing/why-marketers-should-implement-amp/ via http://www.rssmix.com/
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roypstickney · 6 years ago
Text
Almost 60% of marketers haven’t implemented AMP, see why (and why it’s no excuse)
When it comes to page speed, a few seconds of slowdown can cost you. Slow load times cripple conversion rates, raise the price you pay for ad impressions, and even drive qualified traffic to your competitors.
All this being true, Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP) would seem like the hail mary pass that marketers have been waiting for. Essentially, AMP is a Google-backed framework for creating web pages that deliver near-instant load times, even on mobile. I say “near-instant” here, but I like how the AMP Project itself puts it: AMP pages are “so fast they appear to load instantly.”
What does AMP mean for marketers? Faster delivery of your content, for one thing. The end of waiting altogether, maybe. Ultimately, AMP can result in a significant uptick in traffic and improved conversion rates overall.
So, naturally, every marketer is planning to adopt it in 2019, right? Right!?
*record scratch*
Marketers have been slow to adopt AMP for a variety of reasons (via Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report).
Wait, wait, I can explain. As part of our 2019 Page Speed Report, we asked marketers if they planned to implement AMP in the near future. 57% of them told us they have no plans to implement it, while 23% are still considering it.
Those who haven’t adopted the framework have a range of reasons why, but they fall into three broad categories:
AMP requires a significant investment of developer resources.
AMP is poorly understood (or perhaps poorly messaged).
Google’s past behavior has made some people wary of AMP.
I’ll explore these reasons in further detail below. For now, it’s worth saying that each has some validity. But I don’t think any of them—alone or together—should be your excuse not to implement AMP for your marketing campaigns.
In the long run, businesses who overcome these objections will be better positioned than those who don’t, despite perceived drawbacks. As I wrote elsewhere, “Turbo-charged landing pages result in more traffic and higher engagement, boosting conversions and helping PPC campaigns win increased ad impressions for less.” The AMP framework helps you achieve this kind of performance, even on a smartphone.
Want more insights about page speed? You can explore all the findings in the complete 2019 Page Speed Report for Marketers here. Access is free and ungated, so take a look.
Reason 1: Limited development resources
A significant hurdle that marketers face when it comes to adding AMP to their site has to do with technical resourcing. Four of the answers to our survey question touched on this problem:
Developers are not experienced with coding for AMP (12% of respondents)
No developer capacity to implement it (32% of respondents)
Too time-consuming to implement it (12% of respondents)
Validation issues with AMP pages we did create (2% of respondents)
It’s no secret that AMP comes with a steep-ish learning curve.
By using a restricted version of HTML and a custom JavaScript library, the framework ensures an optimized (read: fast-loading!) experience. Using Google’s AMP Cache (a content delivery network that stores your page on Google’s servers) further accelerates your pages.
But it also requires your developers to dedicate time to learning and mastering AMP-HTML and the AMP JavaScript library. And since Google’s AMP Cache requires validation once you’ve built an AMP page, there’s really no “good enough” moment here. Either your page works and goes live, or it doesn’t and you need to find your error. Who feels motivated to learn under those conditions?
AMP validation in action—or should I write, “inaction”? (via The AMP Project).
By its very nature, the limitations of AMP also demand a certain, let’s say, technical dexterity. Because bloated scripts tend to be a major contributor to slowdown, AMP’s JavaScript library puts the brakes on the third-party scripting that people have gotten used to using. (And AMP HTML comes with its own quirks.) Working within these constraints can often produce innovation, but it’s also a source of frustration for many who just wanna get stuff done.
Finally, poor analytics has been significant speed bumps on the road to AMP adoption. Tracking and analyzing visitor behavior is an integral part of running an online marketing campaign, but early in its life, AMP asked us to go blind. No thank you.
Why time and dev work are no excuse…
First, let’s be real: the AMP framework is a set of restrictions. That’s the point. So wishing for an AMP without any limitations at all doesn’t make sense.
In addition, many of the difficulties that plagued developers in the early years of AMP are no longer an issue. Tracking, for instance, has improved dramatically since AMP launched in 2015. Today, by using the AMP Analytics tag, you can isolate and analyze AMP traffic in Google Analytics. Though it can’t yet do everything that standard tracking can, it will collect data about users, pages, browsing, and (most significantly) events. As Search Engine Journal points out, “for most content marketers, that’s sufficient.” Not a ringing endorsement, sure, but tracking is now good enough for most marketing purposes.
As AMP development has continued, scripting has also become more robust, and the options available have expanded. Unfortunately, many people rely on scripts from third parties for tracking and integrations, but a lot of companies have been slow to deliver AMP-compatible versions. As adoption has increased, however, so too has the pressure on these companies to deliver.
That said, some of what AMP asks us to leave behind is also inessential. Pages clogged by unoptimized script may soon be looked upon we look at the tailfins on the back of a 50’s Cadillac. (Or, hey, remember the heady days when every site seemed to require Macromedia Flash? When it comes to the web, more isn’t always better.)
Reason 2: Some marketers really don’t get this whole AMP thing
Despite having a mouth to Google’s megaphone, the AMP Project has struggled to be heard beyond web development or publishing circles. When we asked marketers in The Page Speed Report, we discovered the following:
There’s a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to AMP (via Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report).
While 54% of the digital marketers said they have some understanding of AMP, the rest assuredly did not. A quarter of ’em hadn’t even heard of Accelerated Mobile Pages before taking our survey.
Why misunderstanding is no excuse…
First, AMP is hardly floundering, despite the fact that you may not have heard about it. It has the combined might of Google, Pinterest, Twitter, WordPress, and Bing backing it. And AMP already covers more than 31 million domains serving billions of AMP pages. If you browse the web on your smartphone, in other words, chances are very strong you’ve visited an AMP page.
AMP pages appear in the search results with a lightning bolt icon.
Second, if you hadn’t heard of AMP until you read this article, no worries—because now you have. That gives you an advantage over the 24% of marketers who’re still in the dark. It’s always best to think competitively about page speed. Knowing about AMP (and implementing it) can put you out in front of your competitors by dramatically improving your load times.
EDITOR’S NOTE. There’s a lot of misinformation or misunderstanding out there about AMP. You can read more about AMP and its myths in this blog post from Unbounce’s Larissa Hildebrandt.
Reason 3: Google is “evil” now
Even before they stripped the “don’t be evil” clause from their official code of conduct last year, Google earned a reputation for shady doings.
With the launch of the AMP Project in October of 2015, though, they stirred up a controversy that they didn’t seem to anticipate. Critics were quick to argue that AMP represents yet another move to lock down the web, gallingly disguised as an open-source project.
Many of these accusations point to the Google AMP Cache, which speeds up delivery of content by storing your pages on Google’s servers. AMP doesn’t actually require using Google’s cache—people can create their own—but this tends to be how it’s done. In most cases, the content lives with Google, and a searcher may never touch your actual website. As Daniel Miessler puts it, this is potentially “poisonous to the underlying concept of an open internet.”
Why it’s no excuse…
The language of dissent can get a little, uh, heated (see Barry Adam’s colorful “Google AMP Can Go To Hell”) but a free and open internet is a public good we should be all getting behind. Keeping Google from controlling the entire universe is a definite good for free speech and democracy. (And it’s better for business too.)
But so is delivering fast speeds so that more people can access the web. And AMP helps with that, big time. Remember, the loss of net neutrality means providers can potentially throttle speeds, offering “slow” and “fast” lanes depending on what customers can afford. And 70% of connections globally will remain 3G or slower through 2020 regardless. For these reasons, AMP seems downright necessary, and that’s why news organizations—like The Guardian and The New York Times—were among the first to adopt it.
For what it’s worth, Google has pled innocent in the court of public opinion. In September they took steps to distance themselves from the AMP Project by adopting a new governance model that includes other companies. What this means is that—though Googlers conceived and shepherded AMP—its future is now squarely in the hands of a group that may not always act in the tech giant’s interests. That’s a very good thing.
Why marketers should implement AMP
It’s well-known that delays can create anticipation. But make no mistake, your sluggish website in no way resembles the slow, sultry, seductive pour of Heinz ketchup onto a plate of golden french fries. In fact, the experience has more in common with waiting for your number to be called at the DMV.
By making prospects sit through delays, you’re serving up a heaping helping of frustration, annoyance, and uncertainty. All before they ever even see your content…
…or, rather, if they ever see your content. Because many of ’em won’t make it that far. In Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report for Marketers, a majority of consumers told us that they’ll wait 4-6 seconds before giving up on a slow page.
A majority of consumers say they’ll wait 4-6 seconds before clicking away (via Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report).
Data gathered by Google says the actual number is closer to 3 seconds. After that, many consumers told us they close their browser or even go to a competitor’s site instead. 45% of them told us that a slow loading site makes them less likely to make a purchase. If you want to get fast—like, really, really fast—AMP can get you there.
Unbounce + AMP
It’s no secret we’re bullish on AMP at Unbounce. That’s because Accelerated Mobile Pages have many tangible benefits as a quick way to create a near-instant visitor experience. Not only can they have a dramatic effect on your conversion rates, but they can also increase organic traffic overall and improve Quality Scores in Google Ads.
We were surprised to learn in the Page Speed Report how many marketers are avoiding AMP due to difficulty with developer resources. So, as part of our initiatives to improve page speeds, we’ve sought to make AMP friendlier to the non-developer, reducing or eliminating frustration. You can now drag and drop together AMP experiences, and we’re walking you through what AMP is, why you need it, and how to implement it.
So what’s the ultimate reason you no longer have an excuse for not implementing AMP?
Because we’re making it much easier.
In the coming weeks, we’ll be making AMP landing pages available to all Unbounce customers. Using them can still mean choosing efficiency over flashy scripts, but we’ve already seen our beta test community finding new ways to balance beauty and speed. We’re excited to hear how AMP landing pages impact your conversion rates when they hit. And I’m excited to start sharing some success stories (and actionable takeaways) with readers of this blog.
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Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
"Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
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Want free auto insurance?
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Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
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Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
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Okay basically here's the story. I'm 19, I live with my parents in Wisconsin but I'm trying to move back to Pennsylvania with my aunt and uncle. However I'm not in school at the moment. Apparently if I moved to PA, I'd have to pay 278 dollars more a month through Geico because I'd be living in a different state. I already have a job set up there and all so they could obviously see my paycheck is not from Wisconsin so I can't just lie or something lol. I really know nothing about insurance and how I can work this out without paying that much more. Can anyone help me with other options I could have?""
Do you need insurance for motorcycle if under 21?
i just passed my course and the coach I had told us that you are not required to have insurance if your 21 or over and wear a helmet so I asked her what about people under 21, she said it didnt say anything in the papers so she doesnt know.. i was wondering if any of you know if it is legal not to have insurance. im 18, live in florida, and wear a helmet, thanks!""
""Insurance group 19, how much does it cost?""
its a mercedes gl 320, diesel. How mcuh does insurance group 19 cost?""
Can taking drivers ed save my parents money on car insurance?
i need to know how much, if any, people save on average""
How much is insurance?
So.. I turn 16 real soon, and found a 2003 Mercury Marauder for sale, it was cheap. How much would insurance be? I'm a boy if that helps, its a 4.6 liter V8, a Mustang Cobra engine. Please, I have to hurry for it!!""
How much will car insurance cost me for a 2000 - 2005 Acura RSX?
I'm 18 years old, I live in California, and I've had a car accident in the rain in November 2013. Any guess of how much it would cost me? Not planning to get the Type-S. Thank You! Note: I'm looking for a old (year 2000 - 2005) type of sport car. If insurance will cost me high for this Acura RSX, may you give me any suggestions of which car you'd recommend me getting?""
How Much Would A 17 Year Old With A G2 Pay For Insurance For A 1995 Geo Metro Hatchback in Toronto?
Im planning on getting my first car but the insurance is holding me back. Please Help.What Company do you suggest? Maybe you know someone with the same car and around the same age.
Should we have socialist car insurance?
Is it unfair that people pay different amounts for their car insurance? Doesthis constitute discrimination against people who have to pay more? Should we socialise it so that we all pay the same rate? Why or why not? :-)
How much is car insurance for a range rover a month?
I'm almost 16 and I wanted to know how much is car insurance for a Range Rover HSE, since that's the car i want.""
I cancel my car insurance because I sold my car.?
I was told by the car insurance company that I have my car insurance that I would have a laspe in my insurance. I was also told that I would not be able to purchase insurance with another company. Why is this? Why should I keep my insurance if I don't have a car and won't be purchasing one for awhile?
Do I need car insurance ?
Ok so u just got my learners permit today and my mom said she's pretty sure I don't need car insurance that I'm automatically covered since I'm a minor and can only drive in the car when they are in it so am I covered I live in Tampa Florida if that matters I just want to start driving immediately but dad says I need to make sure I'm under his policy so I can drive
What's the cheapest 1 day car insurance?
What's the cheapest 1 day car insurance?
How much does your car insurance cost? (teens)?
Adults may answer too. Answer how old you are, what kind of coverage you have and with who and what you drive and how much your insurance is :) I'm 16 and I only have basic liability with geico and I drive a 99 saturn sc2 and I think my monthly bill is around $60""
Which cars tend to provide the most affordable insurance rates?
Compacts & small sedans that provide the lowest monthly auto insurance rates.
What is the cheapest car insurance?
28 yr old. Just need a car that runs for two years. I want to insure it the bare minimum for the cheapest price. What car is the cheapest to insure? Lets say I bought a 95 civic dx, what company is the cheapest to get insurance from? anecdotal experience is fine. Thanks""
Bmw 1992 insurance cost?
what is the insurance cost for 1992 bmw 352i???
Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
Cheapest insurance in Kansas?
Cheapest insurance in Kansas?
Insurance policy that's actually affordable?
I'm 18 and I have a 2006 mitsubishi GS that I have financed. It's value is around 10,000. All the policies I've checked out are over 300 a month. That's ridiculous, I have great grades and no traffic violations what's the deal!!""
Health insurance for 18 year old?
I'm 18 years old. I am moving to California June 1st. I currently have a state insurance, but I wanted to know how I could get a new insurance when I arrive to California. Is there one for minorities such as myself? I am going to be living by myself so I'm not sure how to go about this. I have no money whatsoever, and will be working a minimum wage job. Please help, thank you.""
If you have fully comp insurance & drive somebody elses car & have a bump will it cover damage?
my daughter lent her car to her cousin who has fully comp of her own but she crashed the car will her insurance pay for damage??????????
""New Driver, Buying Used Car, How much is monthly insurance?""
18 years of age, recently got my license more than a month ago. Looking into this 2003 Ford Taurus I found at a dealership (4 door).... Parents are saying insurance will cost around $300 a month! excluding the car payment which will be around $200 a month. For some reason, I don't believe them what so ever with the cost of the insurance. I do have to get full coverage insurance. But thats just ridiculous. New drivers, how much do you pay for insurance. Only answer if your on your own plan.""
Does AAA have good auto insurance?
Does AAA have good auto insurance?
Can I go on my boyfriends health insurance florida?
I am living with my boyfriend for a year can I go on his health insurance
What is the cheapest car insurance?
I passed my driving licence in August 2012 and i want a small cheap car?
How am I supposed to afford car insurance?
I'm driving uninsured right now because for me to get car insurance is $900 every six months. That would crush me financially right now. Between rent and gas, and what little Starbucks pretends to pay me, not to mention food (and sometimes that's one meal a day, and even then it may be stealing expired sandwiches and pastries from the garbage can at Starbucks). So, it's utterly naive of the government to think of driving as a luxury , when in reality- when you have to travel 20 miles a day to get to work at Starbucks- walking is unrealistic. The bus routes do not go by there, by the way. How the hell do they expect a 24-year old man to afford car insurance, when he has to work to earn the money to pay for it, and he has to drive to work, and in order to drive he has to drive illegally?! The @#*%ing system is completely screwed up if you ask me. Don't get me started on how the hell I'm supposed to afford gas these days, either.""
My first car.. What is the best and cheap on insurance?
im saving up for a car, but this will be the first car i buy. Does anyone know what car is relatively smart, and cheap on insurance for a UK full license? thank you""
Auto Insurance Help....?
I need insurance on my car, and i don't fully own it, my name is on the title and i finaced it so i have a lien on it....i'm only 20 so full coverage is pretty expensive! would it be possible for my dad to be able to add me to his policy?""
I Had A Crash Can Anyone Recommend A Cheap Car Insurer?
Whilst learning to drive I took out learners insurance on my own car which meant I could drive around with someone who was over 21 and had been driving for atleast three years.. During the period of learning I had crash which I was liable for. I am 20 years old and will trun 21 in January. I have now passed my test and am looking to insure my car, can anyone recommend a good cheap insurance company? Thanks""
""Car insurance quote when being out of the country for 4 years, lost no claims bonus?""
anyone got experience of trying to get reasonable car insurance - with full no claims in this country and new zealand, im being penalised for being out of the country and being treated as new driver, anyone got any answers or any insurance companies i could try who would be sympathetic""
Best non-owner liability coverage insurance?
What is the best non-owner liability coverage insurance in New York ?
How long can I drive my car with out insurance?
I am buying a used car that isn't from a dealership. How long can I drive the car before needing to buy car insurance?
Will insurance pay for an insured car that's borrowed and driven by an uninsured driver?
well, it's a brand new car that belong to my father, i borrowed it and got in an accident because i slip off the road, the car is totaled and im really worried about the coverage. my dad has Infinity-insurance, so yes the car is insured however i do not have any kind of auto-insurance at all nor am i listed in my father's policy. will my father's insurance pays for the car?( if possible, please answer it base on Infinity-insurance)""
Will my car insurance be invalidated?
Phoned my car insurance company today to report a minor bump. The guy asked if I had any points on my license and I told him that yes I have 3 points for speeding. He said that they had no record of this. I don't know why they have no record of this but that's not really the point. Will they try to claim that my insurance is invalid? If they do try this will I be able to claim a refund as I will have been paying them money for literally nothing for the past four years?
Car insurance after customization?
If I put a body kit, new wheels, etc... onto my car will it affect insurance? Do I need to let them know? Before? What about the warranty, I have bumper to bumper warranty.""
What insurance can i get ? need advise?
i am 17 years old and i got a truck and im going to get my license in a few days how can i get insurance for my truck and what will be the cheapest price ? i need advise on what i should do and how i should get insurance like should i get it under my dads insurance or how ?
Average cost for an fr 44 in Florida?
I just trying to determine what the average cost for an fr 44 is in Florida after a dui
Cheap car with cheap insurance?
Im 18 and Ive just passed my driving test and im looking for a good car for around 2500. The cars with cheap insurance are more expensive and the cheap cars have a relatively high insurance cost. The budget for the insurance is not set but I don't want to pay a ridiculous price. Any suggestions on a perfect car which is in my budget but with a low insurance cost? P.S. I understand because im young the insurance will be expensive but if anyone has any advice on how to get cheaper insurance please let me know.
Insurance on 06 sti I need to know?
What is the averge insurance coat for an 06 sti
Any reccomendations for a good dental insurance??
i have health insurance through my job, but they do not offer dental.""
""If your auto insurance expires today, do you get a grace period?""
If so, how long is the grace period?""
How much will I pay for car insurance as a 17 year old in CA?
I am a 17 year old girl, who is going 2 get a nissan versa. I make about $600.00 a month at my job. My parents said they would get me the car. I have to make monthly payments, which would be $250. They have really good credit. How much would insurance cost? What is the best deal I can get? What company should I go to?""
Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-bill-jayden-montoya/"
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago
Text
The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters
In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets.
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Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.
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Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.
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Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this
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This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.
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The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.
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The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object
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So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke
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Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.
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See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..
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Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.
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About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.
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Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago
Text
The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters
In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets.
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Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.
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Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.
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Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this
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This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.
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The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.
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The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object
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So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke
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Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.
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See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..
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Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.
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About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.
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Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago
Text
The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters
In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets. Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate. Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city. Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday. The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle. The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers. See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks.. Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this. About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so. Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/
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