#i dont have anything to add. no meta in this post sorry boys. i just needed sth to chew on between working on bigger stuff

[rotyolk]

gijinka of a plushie from the store

[elriell]

Answer to my LONG ask friend, posting it like this because I imagine it would be way to long or else! 

hi i hope you dont mind me asking, but perhaps any elriel meta will be willing to cover the whole berons alliance with the queen? because i think thats our winning argument in favor of elriels endgame. and i wish im not reaching or overthinking this lol.

why it will be our winning argument? becaue the whole beron pledged alliance to the queen dont mean anything just yet, it hasnt been flushed out yet (sarah left it open ended), and it will definitely be the main conflict in the next book just to set up the final book and war where all the sides has been established whos with who.

because in my perspective, elriels story really will trigger that conflict and rhysands warning in az pov is literally the set up for that conflict.

when i read acosf, i was thinking there is literally no point of beron making alliance with the queen aside him wanting to be the high king, more power, why would he do that when the queen is in the continent and him in prythian, other high lords will surely oppose him being the high king. thus its two (if the queen indeed would help him) versus six since koschei is still trapped in the lake. plus, his alliance is still a secret, surely other courts will learn of it, wont they?

now however possible consequences from elriel, beron perhaps will use the rejecting mating bond—the blood duel—as a reason to declare a war and have other courts against the night court or eris will finally dethrone his father and be the high lord. and with eris being the high lord, isnt that going to be one of the key topic for morrigans book? sarah also confirms morrigan book and she admits that she doesnt know what the novella is going to be, so its same to assume that mor will get a full novel.

fyi, i cant see lucien will challenge azriel though, he is decent and will respect elains choice, but beron as cruel as he is will surely do something sinister.

and i stumbled across an account on twitter and they compare elriels story to helen of troy and the set up of the trojan war is literally the same as elriel. also, beron reminds me of agamemnon in troy movie (2004), both of them want more power. there are a lot of similarities, imo, between elriel and the set up of iliad. in iliad there is also a duel between hector and achilles (this is me reaching lol).

thus, aside from elains connection to the dread trove, elriels conflict also has the logical conflict that tied to the whole overarching plot for the plot of the series to move forward toward the end, because like i said the whole berons alliance need to be addressed and in acosf it hasnt been addressed yet, at least not enough.

im really sorry if i come off as rude by asking this. i would do it honestly, but i dont have the confidence to post anything online (hence, im anonymous) and im not as convincing as the others in terms of flushing the arguments.

also, you are literally keeping me sane when all of elain antis trying their hardest to discredit elriels.

thank you❤️❤️❤️

Hi! I’m that anon who said that Elriel’s conflict with Beron could be the winning argument for our ship since they are tied closely with each other based on Rhysand’s warning in Azriel POV. If you decide to answer that question, would you mind if you answer this one instead? As I’m pretty much still stand on that point however I’d like to add and correct some statements that I think I don’t express clearly in my previous question:)

If you don’t mind, I’d like to post my theory here, anonymously, since I’m not confident enough to post my thoughts online yet as I’m afraid I’ll be judged harshly lol. And perhaps other metas such as you would like to elaborate more on the matter since I think it is a vital plot for Elriel’s book. It’s quite long, I do apologize for that:)

Like I said, Beron allegiance with Briallyn didn’t make any sense to me and it also took me by surprise when I read ACOSF. Why?

A. Briallyn lived on the continent and Beron is in Prythian. Wouldn’t it be better for him to seek an ally that is closer to him instead? We know that Beron wants to be an ally with her because he heard about her ambition. And I suspect that Beron wants to be the High King or kill Feyre since he knows that she has his power. But one thing for sure is that he wants more power.

B. If he indeed wants to be High King or kill Feyre then I don’t believe that the other high lords would comply with him. Therefore, Beron wouldn’t stand a chance against the other high lords and lady in Prythian since it is two (before the queen was killed by Nesta) versus six. Plus, Briallyin lived in the continent thus her allegiance was not something that he could hold on to, imo.

So obviously we know that Briallyn is dead and her allegiance doesn’t mean anything anymore. However, from her allegiance with Beron we now know that Beron for sure set to be the other villain of this new overarching plot alongside Koschei. And I also think that Beron would be the main villain for the next book because a villain as big as Koschei would likely be dealt in the last book.

Now, why is it tied with Elriel? I think Rhysand’s warning in Az’s POV explains it plainly, and I can’t help but think that it is a set up, a foreshadowing, of what would happen in the next book, especially since Koschei’s plotline is not foreshadowed enough in ACOSF and we only know of his onyx box which we get from ACOWAR.

If we acknowledge that Elriel is endgame and their story is next, then Beron surely comes to play in the next book. Their relationship will push the overarching plot one step closer to its climax.

FYI, I can’t see Lucien invoke the Blood Duel himself, he is a decent person so he will respect and understand Elain’s choice to be with Azriel since it is definitely where we are going in the matter of endgame. But, Beron, as cruel as he is, will surely make use of the situation to profit himself, to reach his ambition that is momentarily squashed with Briallyn dead.

These are possible results of what could happen with Blood Duel plotline:

1. Beron would ally himself with Koschei as Briallyn did before because he knows he is outnumbered if he declared a war against the Night Court.

2. Beron could convince other high lords in Prythian to go against the Night Court if Lucien was killed in the Blood Duel, I pray that it will not happen though Lucien deserve some peace and happiness with the woman who wants and loves him voluntarily.

3. Eris would rebel against his father's order for Lucien to invoke the duel, and Beron would be dethroned by Eris and he would be the next high lord of Autumn Court.

I personally lean more on number three, because with Eris being the high lord wouldn’t it be one of the key topics for Mor’s book? It is already confirmed that Sarah pitched Mor’s story as one of the books and she admits that she doesn’t know what the novella is going to be. So, it’s safe to assume that Mor will get a full novel, not a novella one. Seeing her sparse appearance and development we’ve seen of her in ACOSF, then it is also logical to assume that Mor will not be the next book main character.

In conclusion, Elriel needs to happen to address Beron's situation and bring the overall plot of the series a bit higher before it reaches climax in the final book. Is it also possible that Beron’s scenario still can be addressed without it being tied to Elain and Azriel? Yes, but, I will say it again, Rhysand’s warning is a clue, a foreshadowing, of what conflict will be covered in the next book. For an author to drop something as big as that but not happening is a lazy writing in my opinion.

In the previous question I also mentioned that Elriel’s story is kinda similar to Iliad. Their set up is pretty much similar to me, however, I don’t think Elriel’s story will end in tragedy since Sarah doesn’t like to read, write, sad endings.

I’m sorry if I come off as ordering you around, but I really appreciate it if you and other metas also put your thought in the whole Beron/Elriel situation since I’m 95% sure Elain book is next and Azriel will be her LI seeing there is no progress with her and Lucien yet.

And I still stand by my point, you and other Elriel metas keep me sane when all of Elriel antis trying their hardest to discredit all of Elriel’s interaction and feeling in order to make their ship endgame. Thank you so much❤️❤️❤️

Wowza! This has got to be one of the longest asks I have ever received, hahah, congratulations and thank you for taking the time to write it to me! 

I would definitely consider doing such a meta, I am working on my Elriel debunking one currently, chipping away at it slowly! It’s a big boy.

I definitely agree that it is a very important and key point because like you said Elriel will be the trigger that pushes this story forward, giving Beron the push he needs, and also it will give or potential for Eris to step in and also Lucien by proxy. It would as you said accelerate the whole plot.

I have said before and I will say it again, Elriel brings so much plot to the story and ties in so many different characters, that say Gwynriel for arguments sake, doesn’t. I have no doubts at all who are the next POVs.

Agree with literally every ounce of your first ask, they have all the ties. There is no point mentioning The blood Duel if it is never going to come in to play, whether they actually do it or get close too it has to happen now. And if that is the case then Elriel clearly has to happen to get there! I don’t think Lucien would participate because I think he would respect Elains decision but who knows...

I feel like their is potential for his hand to be forced by say Beron or someone else, like you said though all ties roll back to Elain. And her ARC. 

I am so sorry you don’t feel like you can post it yourself, because you clearly have some great well thought out perspective, and you are well spoken. I am sure the fandom would love to hear your thoughts from you, when you are ready of course. Until then you are always welcome to come here and share with me!!

Going to answer your second one separately because I didn’t read the second one first and now I see you said to answer the other one ahhhahaha

[cryptidshuffle]

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke?  For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately.  ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

[cheswirls]

i have so many thoughts and its about 430 am so lets get started before they get scrambled.

i decided to read red potter and the middleground, but because i finished one so early in the morning, i had to hold off on the other for a bit, until this -past, i guess- evening. i had read for sure a chapter of the middleground previously, maybe two, but i’ve read too much now that the recollection isn’t coming to me like it came in small bursts through reading through chapter one again. i think it was another instance when i got extremely busy and had to put it down, maybe tac2 took over, dunno, but i got back to it now bc im still on the post-playthrough-of-white high and anything deep in unova is good and lu is fantastic so i knew this would be fantastic and is was right.

it’s a very dark read? unexpected, then again, its centered around a war, so also i shouldve expected it. the realization hit me around the third chapter, i think, when the nimbasa incident happened. very dark and very good. and emotional, i dunno how many times ive cried tonight but its been a night/twilight. the whole story basis with the center legend of unova and all the olden history is really good, its all really boosting my unova high like this is exactly what ive been needing to find, and all the characters it brings in despite the animeverse of it all -benga, n, touko!!- and the roles they play just really made it better, its kind of shallow but i like it even moreso because of the additions and though the story kept me highly entertained and drawn in there were a couple moments when i wished like oh man i hope the story has n in it bc n man jus n i need n content and then bam mentioned and now hes officially in it sort of i mean yeah he is. in the story. and this was early on like during the first few chapters so i had to hold out but it was worth it like, the story is interesting with the anime characters and i knew it was gonna be aniverse going into it and it was good and fine and still is good and fine. 

i dont remember when i started wishing for touko but man oh man it happened and i was like damn this could happen i wish she was kinda here bc i think i had begun to pick up on something and then later i really picked up on it which i will get to later and them bam another happy revelation and i am still like. touko. shes here. shes a part of the story. this is awesome.

anyway before this gets too long to massively too long, this is basically going to be a big analysis and happy-rant post, so if you have not read the middleground by the amazing @pkmncoordinators, you should do so here but then like leave this post until you do and then come back, that would be good. the rest is under a cut to save peoples dashes, sorry this is mega long already aha.

i played ghetsis’ battle theme through a chapter and it mustve been a shorter one bc it lasted me -30min- near the entire chapter. maybe the one beginning w the drayden and alder talk? or the dragonspiral tower one? or maybe theyre the same, its been a long night of binging this entire work. anyway. it set the mood for whatever chapter like i intentionally was like oh this theme is a little foreboding lets play it. and i had it down so low sometimes i could only hear the percussions to it, but it was still there, setting the tone.

otherwise, i found myself only keeping to n music. maybe there were a couple plays of unova e4, way in the very beginning of the first/second chapters, maybe, but for the most part, i kept with n’s songs. the bridge, some, the castle and battle theme, a lot. some renditions of such in b2w2 style. i tried to play through the music of n’s room in the castle, but i had to stop after a little into it, maybe ten minutes, because it was getting all these feelings out of me and i felt like if i played it all i would ‘tire it out’, so to speak, even though that hasnt happened w any of the tracks thus far, but i really want that to be a special one i  have on to draw inspiration from. later into the night/morning, whenever, i did decide to try out a remix of it via the b2w2 track of the same theme. the tune is in a slightly different pitch, but more than that, it gets distorted, almost corrupted, throughout and differentiates itself that way from the original, so i did end up playing through that no problem. i cant recall now if i ever played a theme back to back, i think i switched after the 30min was over, which, understandable, it’d been looping for half an hour. but i think i did play it again maybe once, which is fine. good.

but enough with music meta. its interesting, maybe thats where the draws of ‘where’s n?’ came from, but its not the focus.

oooh boy lets talk about various things that i will address here bc its 5am now and i need to not lose track. the n thing. um. the touko revelations. remember liberty, because the truth will set you free. the hero of truth. the opening chapter remarks. the possible sourgrapes. the viewpoints thing. there is probably more i will get to later in a different post but these are the current things for the morning.

first i wanna talk abt touko, hilda, whatever. small note so i dont appear brash, to ppl who dont really follow my content, i just dont really like the names hilda and hilbert. hilda is slowly growing on me, but missy always called the protag touko, and it really grew on me, and i live the name now, so thats what i always defer to her as. jus a preference thing.

so, i had no idea and i had every idea. oh my god. lu, you are so good at the foreshadowing stuff, serious. a master at it. i didnt pick up on the nimbasa trainer mention, or maybe i did but its been long ago now and i dont remember it. if she appeared before then i already dont remember the callback to it, oops. anyway. it was after that, for sure, if not before, that i did pick up on the brunette trainer and thought ‘damn if that was touko tho thatd be so rad’. really thinking it was in the electronic store in striaton, but that seems so far away from nimbasa like there mustve been something in between but i dont think so? so that. and then in the next, black city? abt the brunette trainer watching the tv, and i think i had the same thought except it was during ghetsis’ speech so between both moments brunette trainer was mentioned. i think i picked up on the repeated mentions of brunette trainer when she and iris locked eyes to see her also packing to leave the center. it was a thought more along the lines of ‘brunette trainers seem to be standing out to me more or are i guess being detailed more than other trainers’ than out of suspicion. i was picking up the repeated characteristic, but more of the notion that it was being named over and over, instead of anything real behind it. like, okay, there are a lot of brown haired trainers around, that works.

it was maybe in icirrus if that was the next thing, i tried to look and think i confirmed that was the next thing based on the recall conversation, so yes. in icirrus, my memory is really failing me sorry!!, somewhere, the first mention or maybe if that first mention was the brunette trainer across the hall in another room, my mind clicked. and it was like, oh, this brunette trainer might actually be all the same person. and i started to think again, wow, what if that person was touko bc i was really passionate abt it and i couldnt come up with who else bc i didnt have the focus i was still actively reading the store yknow? if was nothing about the being followed, i had to wait for the others to catch on and tell the reader before i got that aha. but i did! get! the touko part. it was when iris woke up from the comatose and all those scenes started playing out, maybe she mentioned not disturbing the others or cilan when they were talking, or georgia when she ran off, or something abt the trainer in another room, or a revelation dawned i guess somewhere in those scenes. and i was like oh my god that has to be touko god wow. im really losing my original train of thought i apologize. still recovering from sickness, and the whole long night thing. so something along that thought, but then it sorta got forgotten bc shit got real w virgil and the truth seekers being there, and i didnt recall again until she approached cilan during the counter sheidl -niiiiice throwback, by the way- training, and i was like !!!!!!!!!!!! that HAS to be touko and then she led him away and the whole scene played out and i remember scanning the page briefly, jus flicking my eyes over to see if i saw the namedrop and didnt, so i got entranced in the scene and then benga was like ‘hilda get the other three’ and TOUKO!!!!! WAS THERE OMG!!!! like confirmed, in the flesh, it was great its great what a great thing to add wow. and then the recall conversation happened and i began to pick up and was like wow they were being followed and didnt even remember the brunette trainer mentioned in nimbasa, barely remembered someone with a samurott led the charge to put out the fires, so that was a surprise. of course, that was such an intense scene, and i remember having a small breakdown around then bc burgundy said something about how she couldve been in one of those rooms and that chilled her and it sent me wild bc it was scary to think about, it really was chilling, this story really is dark che wow. 

so i was proud of myself for picking up on that, the touko thing, but i probably wouldve been in the dark completely had i read it and not recently played through white and mind being constantly on that region and those characters right now. 

that was super long. um. next thing is liberty bc i can remember it. the line is, im pretty sure, just remember liberty, because the truth will/can set you free. and its really only because im so into unova right now, but back at the first chapter today, my mind immediately picked up ‘oh liberty island’. except its not island, its liberty garden-island, thing, but still. the liberty just connected, and i had it, and so like when iris busted out like hey we’re not flying to nimbasa we’re going to liberty garden i was like yh guys cmon take a hint. but i really think it was probably creative and thought-provoking to others, a bit of a twister, to liek other readers like this isnt a callout on an easy riddle, jus a notion i picked up on easily. actually i remember the castelia thing confusing me, but there was also some disconnect because the liberty line want being used, it was just being mentioned that everyone seeking the seekers was heading to castelia, like the two were never paired i dont recall of. and it happened every time. i was like okay yes theyre at libery garden, then castelia was mentioned and i was like okay theyre at castelia. they never really crossed so they never crossed in my mind. it wasnt until the group landed in castelia i think that my mind connected, ah yes, liberty garden is off the coast of the city. i do wonder how plasma figured it out though. i think earlier speculation was on the touko-n relationship compromising the location, though im not sure how that would work in the first place, so it seems more likely someone jus picked up on the insinuation like i did, jus made the connection, tho i dunno who.

really quick hero of truth revelation thing. it took me a couple reads to grasp, like iris realized something cilan didnt but he went away and it took me, i had to read it over a few times because she realized something so therefore the readers have to realize as well, and then i made the connection that cilan was related to the hero of truth therefore making him the hero of truth. that couldve been phrased better unless cress and chili are somehow included which i think not, too many motifs, but the point comes across. i might not have made the connection had i not read earlier in the day about iris slipping cilan reshiram’s pokeball, something i stumbled upon before i started reading the entire thing oops so maybe that was a giveaway that helped me work through it, maybe i just connected based on the ancestor stuff, dunno. 

i still havent figured out whos writing the chapter intros and its getting to me!! i dunno if we’re supposed to know yet, at first i felt like cilan, and then a vague collection of others, maybe trip with the camera capture in black city, and then maybe touko at the end tho i feel like something was mentioned that was confidential and that she wouldn’t have known about. then again i suppose sharing stories and then recounting could come into play, in which case benga could also be writing them.. i dont’ feel like its someone currently irrelevant, tho. like, i don’t think it’s luke, or bianca, or someone kinda disconnected like that. its probably a spoiler for you to say whom, which okay, fair, but i hope someone signs off on the intros in the last chapter, or that theres something to pick up on to discover it ourselves, or maybe its not important, but i really gotta know eventually.

someone mentioned days ago about something like not being into wishfulshipping and then something about sourgrapes was mentioned, i really dont remember that well, but i started to pick up on it throughout, especially with all the camping scenes, and remembering you liked sourgrapes so much, and is it possible to confirm that thats a ship in this fic? or, has a possibility? i think i’m picking up on it, but it could be friendship, im not sure.

these next two are the last two for now i think. first, viewpoints, because this story delves into such a cast of characters and i think the same story told from the viewpoint of others would be so interesting, like told through the eyes of benga or touko, or even elesa possibly, and if you ever like wanna divulge in that or after you get done wouldnt mind someone taking a shot at it and working with for accuracy reasons, that would be pretty cool. and you have your first volunteer.

second and last is the n thing. i think a little is just meta, which i want to make a full post on later in time, so this may or may not tie in not sure. just, real brief, isn’t n such an interesting character? i really just, i dunno if i like him like i like others, but i really find his dynamic interesting. keeping it short, bc meta, the boy really grew up differently than a “normal” human. the proper socialization was there, sort of, because he can walk and speak and was educated like hes a math geniusa nd stuff, but he wasn’t socially educated. a lot of people dont realize the two are different, i didnt until i took an intro to sociology course this past fall semester. anyway tho. he really wasnt socially educated, and you can see that through all representations -cant speak for spe actually i havent read the arc yet- even in the anime, though far less likely than i would have liked, having rewatched the n arc a few days ago. the disconnect from people is there. n had tutors, but other than that he was in a room with his only company being pokemon formerly abused by people. that was it. not even normal pokemon, but those he had to gain the trust of first because they were misled by trainers. he doesn’t really know how to act with people. he talks fast, hes very blunt, he doesnt know the meaning of personal boundaries, et cetera. he was, practically, raised in a cult. led to believe only the cult’s beliefs. and its only through getting out of his room and around unova, at least in the game, that he begins to develop his own thouhgts and ideas and morals, that he begins to doubt what hes been preached his whole life. this is getting a bit like so im gonna cut, but i just, n is such an interesting character. the tie in. already, in the tv announcement, his voice is ethereal and i could picture it, could play the sound in my mind based off the anipoke and the gens voices, because both of those are genuinely how n sounds to me, i can see it perfectly it just works like there is no other voice for him. i could picture that when he spoke. and already, with the dreamy, far-off gaze, and it hardening, i can see his characterization is going to be so great in the middleground, and im so excited. i recently finished a fic where his characterization to me was absolutely perfect, and even as it evolved, that standard didnt diminish, because the evolution was so seamless and good that the changes to him felt right, felt realistic.

im realizing now this sounds like a do-good-or-there-will-be-consequences thing, which is not my intention. im just, i really wanted a story with n, one i knew would be good, and the middleground is it at the moment. and i know youll do a good job because i liked tac so much, which featured n, and already its the little things with middleground!n that are already so good, and this was really just me saying thank you and i cant wait, and so thank you and i cant wait for more. i cant wait to see more of n, no matter how small a role, or how big iunno, he plays, its already so good for such a complex character with such a grey background. morally grey, ethically grey, realistically grey, just grey. 

all in all, the middleground is amazing so far, i love it so so much, and once again, i cant wait for more. thank you for such an amazing piece thus far, lu. its past 6am now so its taken me a bit to get through this post, i hope the majority makes sense. and i cant wait to see what comes next with the story.