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muwur · 4 years

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snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up”

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc.

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧ “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧ “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧ “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today”

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #sugawara x reader #kageyama x reader #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #akaashi x reader #koganegawa x reader #semi x reader #shirabu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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fruityutas · 4 years

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as a student in the medical field I find it rare to find such alternative universes 🥺🥺🥺 perhaps you can do it with haechan. Like the reader being a resident (therefore obviously older than him) // “I enjoy your company” 🥺🥺��🥺🥺🥺🥺 May I request this or is it too much ❤️

omg im in medical field too!! and ofc it’s not too much! i rlly like this idea there isn’t a whole lot of those aus around :3 i hope you dont mind i made hyuckie a pt!

patient!haechan x resident!reader

not proofread

genre ~ hehe u know it fluff!, nonidol!au

summary ~ a very cute but mischievous patient craves your attention

warnings ~ donghyuck bein a big ol flirt hehe, needles/iv insertion, older reader

as you speed walk down the hall, a nurse catches your attention. “doctor, you’re needed in room 127.”

“alrighty, thank you.” you make your way over to the room. a younger man is lying in bed with a nurse prepping him for an iv. “let’s see this chart, shall we.” you take the chart off the bed and scan over it.

lee donghyuck, 21 years old, dob 20000606, ab blood type, reason for visit: auto vehicle accident, injuries as listed: hairline fracture on the ulna, compound fracture on the radius, multiple superficial scrapes to the arm and face, sprained wrist

“well, it seems like your injuries are minor, at least. you went through quite the beating though. were you the driver or a passenger?” he gives you a wink.

“passenger, of course. i would never drive that stupidly.” you smile and shake your head at his response. you could tell he was going to be a handful.

“well for now we’ll give you 100mg of ibuprofen. if the pain doesn’t let up within an hour, let us know so we can up the dosage.” you turn to the nurse. “how are his vitals?”

“heart rate is 82, oxygen is 98, and blood pressure is 119 over 76.” you hum in response.

“alright, everything is within normal range. are you feeling any pain in other areas?” he thinks for a second before nodding. “oh? could you tell me where the pain is located and rate it on a scale of 1-10.”

he smirks. “my heart, doctor. it hurts because you’re just so beautiful!” you raise your eyebrows at him.

“well im not sure how i can fix that, i apologize. anything else?” he shakes his head this time and you bid him goodbye.

the next few days are filled with more visits to his room and more flirting from him. everytime you brush it off but his smooth words are starting to have an effect on you.

“how old are you, doc?” you roll your eyes but answer the question.

“older than you, hun.” he flashes you a sweet smile.

“not too old for me!” you finish up checking his iv dosage and start to leave the room. “hey wait, don’t you at least think im cute?” you tilt your head at him ad send him a wink.

“that would be unprofessional of me to say, now wouldn’t it? let’s just say you catch my eye.” as you leave, his giggles reach your ears, and you sigh. what a shame he’s my patient, he is really cute.

donghyuck is there for another week until his release day. he realizes this and ups the ante on his charm. everytime you step into his room he mentions you being pretty or how you take care of him so well. you found that you enjoy the comments and his presence.

“how are you feeling today?”

“feeling amazing now that you’re here, doc.” a blush dusts over your cheeks. this boy has you in deep.

“well, your vitals haven’t changed and your arm has started the healing process, so discharge should be tomorrow.”

“awe, does it have to be? im gonna miss you, i enjoy your company.”

“i enjoyed your time here, you made me look forward to my shifts. but yes, it has to be.” he pouts cutely at you.

“maybe i should just break my other arm so i can stay!” you send him an incredulous look.

“please don’t, donghyuck. i would hate to see you hurt again.” his face lit up at your words. “i have to get to another patient so i probably won’t see you off, but don’t hurt yourself ok? i don’t want to see you in this building again.”

“what about outside of it?”

“don’t wait outside the hospital, silly.”

“no i mean can i take you on a date.” you whip your head around. his face is dead serious. you blink once, twice, three times.

“i... if thats... are you being serious?” he nods vigorously.

“of course i am, you’re too good to pass up! you’re the best doctor i’ve had infact. that and being cute.” a soft smile graces your features.

“i’ll have to hold you up to it, but i can’t give you my personal contact until after you’re out. here’s my office number.” you give him the number and bid him goodbye, looking forward to seeing donghyuck again.

#nshitty-frathouse #unfortunatus: paradiso #nct 127 #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #haechan x reader #haechan scenarios #donghyuck scenarios

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vr2 · 4 years

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haha anyways genshin must be on some wild fucking shit if they think theyre gonna try and drag out their main story for like 2 years. on god having like half a year between main chapters of its already weak spindly little story is like mindboggling decision i do not trust your storytelling skills at all to make any of the hype worth it but i also think thanks to the general playerbases inability to read they will continually feel disappointment at how poor genshins main story content is and how it is purveyed to the reader especially in comparison to the lore which is completely jarring in quality of delivery.

in the archon quest at the end of liyue chapter you get a lore dump from zhongli where he just stands there and gives you like 3 quest prompts about shit that exists for no reason other than idk “they needed to put the plot threads in there asap and they forgot they had an entire world to do it in” and then that mf disappears. forever. literally exiled from the overworld unless you pay like ninety quid to summon him on his banner. not to mention every single other npc you meet will never appear again outside of their instanced quests. it’s such a weird jarring end point that you’re left stranded in and its not only a frustratingly awkward delivery, it honestly just seems pointless. why couldn’t there have been an extended epilogue that involves talking to the npc character FROM inazuma, talking to beidou who is a pirate with an electro vision about idk ... travel and her ELECTRO vision being granted which is a feat she in known for in the lore of liyue folk. it could even be someone from the qixing like ningguang who surely would know about the status of foreign nations or keqing who has an electro vision and would absolutely have something to say about baal’s stance on things and her condescension towards humans. god it could still even be zhongli just space it out, let him invite us to dinner and chat over liyue cuisine and let inazuma come up naturally thgouh paimons huge appetite to eat new things. not only would the pacing be better, the plot threads be put in a way where you dont immediately forget them because they’re being rapidfire talked at you, but it would be a great way to make the character seem like theyre people with lives and not just trying to move the plot along and be on their way.

conversely, the story of arundolyn and rostam, the legends of mondstadt and the ordo favonius, the lion and the wolf, the building hints towards the cataclysm of khaenri’ah and what kind of nation earned the scorn of the gods -- its all slowly fed to you piece by piece linked through artifacts, world lore, in-game books, weapons and sometimes the world itself. you uncover things as you explore and the more thoroughly you explore - the more you discover! it’s rewarding, it feels natural and its some of the most fun you have piecing together stories and building out this strange world like some kinda anime historian and it encourages theorycrafting rather than a concrete set of events and characters being straightforward. its genuinely interesting that theres a whole society and cast of characters from the days of yore who are intimately connected with our current cast and the world we live in but also very much their own interesting characters who hold their own legacies and wills, carving them into the stars for ill or good.

its almost as if the main quest writers and the lore writers are completely separate, work on different floors and they dont ever meet because why ... why on earth would you deliver critical parts of the main story in such a blatantly poor way and make it have none of the nuance and intrigue as the worldbuilding? in a game that is designed for the express purpose of making people sympathetic and invested with characters to spend silly money on them? you think your paper thin story is going to let you do that? no gacha game is allowed to have storytelling subpar to the most average middle of the pack lightnovel and get away with being a gacha game. your story has to have at least a few moments where i am dazzled, daresay fucking delighted, at least a second where i have to stop and say ‘this is cool as hell’ or ‘FUCK ITS HAPPENING’ or else it is well and truly expendably worthless non-product! you have to be a little more ambitious than making some normie shit and try and make the story have a little heart! i dont doubt that they can do it, im sure there are talented writers there since i like a lot of the characterisations but man, let em free you need them no more than ever

the only thing i can think of that explains how watered down the story feels in comparison to lore, is a fear of making people ‘read too much’ in the main quests which honestly doesnt seem to be much of an issue to them. lanternrite wasnt that long but the sheer amount of npc dialogue feels staggering because its all ultimately ... inconsequential. we have no investment into these npcs and theres like 15 odd quests of it, it goes from cool world flavour text to genuinely feels like its taking up space all because they are trying to endear you to the lives of these generic npcs when you’d rather know like even one thing about chongyuns life and daily routine or xinyans performances. being able to see kaeya for one second even was the most fun and even then i was still disappointed cause its like bro? you didnt even let him do anything and it was JUST him? in the world there are so many characters explicitly referenced but never utilised and it makes their complete absence even more noticeable and frankly fucking baffling? not even fate episodes for all of our 12 SRs? actually nevermind, even the character stories are somehow unforgivably generic!

honestly i feel like the best event so far was the unreconciled stars event but by my standards it definitely felt like ‘solid gacha game event story’ with a touch of something more interesting with the inclusion of scaramouche’s lore insight. i was hoping this his how events would be in genshin, i really thought that this was the ‘standard’ but for some reason, its beginning to seem like that event was a bit of an outlier? i would gladly take less events and have them be more like the unreconciled stars event, with character interactions and slowly improving and hashing out who these characters are over never-ending carousel of random events that are mostly fetch-quests or fluff.

idk man its just a strange mess of me enjoying genshins world and theorycrafting, loving playing the game and exploring but feeling like the ball is not bein dropped but violently slammed into the ground by the sheer lack of character content whilst being praised by everyone under the sun for ‘story’ and ‘characters’. m*hoyo do better bitch! you already made such a good roster of characters now fuckin do something with them! stop releasing new characters without bothering with any of the existing ones! i beg of you!

#damn you ren #if i like anything in any capacity i immediately have to criticize it sfhajshfsa ITS JUST HOW IT IS .......#the adding characters to gacha but not even utilising them in story is my LEAST favourite thing a gacha game can do #gacha games are ALREADY on thin ice for the sole reason they are gacha games but man genshin really thinks they can get away with that?#im not somebody who cares too much about spending money on gacha games but genshins system is completely unrewarding even for 'early' gacha #the fact that like half the characters DO NOT EVEN HAVE STORY QUESTS? NOT EVEN LIKE AMBERS SHITTY GLIDING TUTORIAL???????????#u rly think i am going to play 3 years of current genshin for khaenriah chapter? do u think you are fgo!?#i also gate that fgo made the lostbelt release schedule like that because EVERYONE ELSE thinks its cool to copy them #completely misunderstanding that i am here for kinoko nasus wacky adventures and no other gacha game should get funny ideas #its the normies for me that make me feel insane. sir this game is incredibly fucking stingy please dont pretend #i do not care to see people try and defend multimillion dollar corporation m*hoyos gacha practices #esp with the whole zhongli and constellation shit like .... if this game did not have its world it would be dead in the water #renshin impact

9 notes · View notes

asktwoface · 5 years

Text

CAH with Edward Nygma, Harvey Dent, Kirk Langstrom, Sherlock Holmes, Mister Bloom, James Gordon and Flamingo. What’s the worst that could happen? (Takes Place Before the events of Arkham and the recent kidnapping.)

--Kirk Langstrom has Come Online--

--Harvey Dent has Come Online--

Man Bat at 2:59 PM

Who’s idea was this anyway?

Two-Face at 3:00 PM

I don't fucking know, but here we are. Currently it's only me and Kirk. You recon anyone else is gonna join, Doc?

Man Bat at 3:01 PM

I’m not sure

Two-Face at 3:02 PM

3 people ain't really enough. Let's just start it up and see who joins. What's the worst that could happen? Bolton randomly joinin?

--James Gordon has Come Online--

Gordon at 3:05 PM

Mr. Dent and Dr.Langstrom.. Hello. Never expected to join a game and see you two here

--Mr Bloom has Come Online--

Bloom at 3:06 PM

So Glad you all showed up.

Two-Face at 3:06 PM

Oh., so. That might not be the worst that could happen. Hello Commissioner.

Man Bat at 3:06 PM

...oh. Hello Commissioner. Rather odd to see you here

Bloom at 3:06 PM

let's have a friendly game~

Two-Face at 3:06 PM

Who the fuck is that.

Man Bat at 3:06 PM

And now there’s a talking flower

Bloom at 3:07 PM

Nice to meet you too.

Man Bat at 3:07 PM

My.. my apologies, Mr...

Bloom at 3:07 PM

I see you all got my invitations.

Bloom. Mister Bloom.

Gordon at 3:07 PM

Mr. Bloom? That name rings a bell.

Two-Face at 3:08 PM

Well I'm not intimidated at all.

Bloomat 3:08 PM

Why don't we get started?

Man Bat at 3:08 PM

Ah, I see. Well, Mr. Bloom, thank you... very much for inviting us here for this game, I’m sure...

Yes, that’s probably best. To start, that is

Gordon at 3:09 PM

I’m going to be honest, I’m slightly excited to see what’s in store.

Two-Face at 3:09 PM

Who the fuck would go to red lobster willingly?!

Man Bat at 3:09 PM

Apparently some people, Harvey

Bloom at 3:09 PM

Need to get out more Commissioner?

Man Bat at 3:09 PM

oh... my god

Gordon at 3:10 PM

The clown that followed me home from the grocery store? Joker?

Two-Face at 3:10 PM

So Joker fucking went to Red Lobster. Wonderful.

Man Bat at 3:10 PM

Yes!

Oh dear, I seem to have gotten some rather... odd cards

Gordon at 3:11 PM

Congratulations Dr. Langstrom

Man Bat at 3:11 PM

Thank you Commissioner

Two-Face at 3:11 PM

Love me some Meth cards.

Man Bat at 3:11 PM

who on earth played meth

Two-Face at 3:11 PM

Me.

Man Bat at 3:11 PM

Harvey!

Two-Face at 3:11 PM

Heh, can't blame me.

Bloom at 3:11 PM

Snrk

Two-Face at 3:11 PM

Who are the other two people/

Man Bat at 3:12 PM

Gordon at 3:12 PM

Oh good. I’m selecting this round it seems.

Man Bat at 3:12 PM

oh my lord

Two-Face at 3:12 PM

These are all terrible.

Man Bat at 3:13 PM

Harvey what on earth

Two-Face at 3:13 PM

I win again!

Gordon at 3:13 PM

Assless Chaps..

Two-Face at 3:15 PM

Do you wear them under your attire or is that just a rumour, Commissioner?

Gordon at 3:15 PM

WHAT?!

Man Bat at 3:16 PM

Harvey! Be polite

Two-Face at 3:16 PM

I'm bein' perfectly polite.

Man Bat at 3:16 PM

do you WANT to give him a reason to send us back to Arkham?

Bloom at 3:17 PM

OOhhh he can try.

Two-Face at 3:17 PM

FUCK NO.

I agree. I was only havin' fun

Man Bat at 3:18 PM

Why do I always get the bad cards?

Gordon at 3:18 PM

I’ve never worn.. Such a thing!

Two-Face at 3:18 PM

LIES!

Who the FUCK brought dead babies into the mix?!

Bloom at 3:19 PM

Pick one Mister Dent.

Man Bat at 3:19 PM

how did dead babies not win?

Gordon at 3:19 PM

Langstrom! Why?!

Man Bat at 3:19 PM

Oh hush, Commissioner

Two-Face at 3:19 PM

Oh dear.

Man Bat at 3:20 PM

all of these cards are just TERRIBLE

Bloom at 3:20 PM

Where'd you go this round Gordon?

You're not quitting already, are you?

Gordon at 3:20 PM

The connection at the police station is terrible Mr. Bloom

Man Bat at 3:20 PM

Well should I wait for you to try again or would you like me to pick from the two?

Bloom at 3:20 PM

Oooh, that must not help you do your job well, hm?

Gordon at 3:21 PM

It certainly doesn’t. We suspect Bullock is the cause

Two-Face at 3:21 PM

Ah, Bullock. Blame him for everything.

Bloom at 3:21 PM

How unfortunate.

Man Bat at 3:21 PM

He deserves to be blamed for most things

Gordon at 3:22 PM

I’m back in.

Bloom at 3:22 PM

We can wait for the commissioner to join again, he is a special guest

aahh good.

Man Bat at 3:22 PM

Alright Commissioner, pick your card. And please, make it a good one

Two-Face at 3:22 PM

I'm surprised you're not being told off for this, Commish. "Fraternising" with criminals.

Gordon at 3:22 PM

I must have joined too late

Bloom at 3:22 PM

I think this round may have already locked in

Man Bat at 3:22 PM

Oh dear

Two-Face at 3:22 PM

Oh, dear.

Man Bat at 3:23 PM

I’ll just pick the card so the commissioner can play again

Gordon at 3:23 PM

A card game over the internet is hardly fraternizing

Man Bat at 3:24 PM

oh dear LORD

Harvey!

Bloom at 3:24 PM

My Goodness, Mister Dent. Drug related again?

Two-Face at 3:24 PM

Well, I have a theme now. Gordon at 3:25 PM

Selling crack to children definitely reduces sexual appeal

Man Bat at 3:25 PM

Do we need to talk?

Bloom at 3:25 PM

And here I thought it was duality.

Silly me.

Bloom at 3:25 PM

Ooh this is a hard one.

Man Bat at 3:25 PM

These are all rather... unfortunate

Gordon at 3:25 PM

God I hope I don’t get picked.

Man Bat at 3:26 PM

what???

Two-Face at 3:26 PM

I win again!

Man Bat at 3:26 PM

Dead babies

Two-Face at 3:26 PM

Kirk what is your obsession with dead babies?!

Bloom at 3:26 PM

Well that was surprisingly wholesome.

Man Bat at 3:26 PM

There are dead babies in heaven

Two-Face at 3:26 PM

The are also, pedophiles.

Man Bat at 3:26 PM

Those go to hell

Two-Face at 3:26 PM

Ah, yes.

Man Bat at 3:27 PM

These are just awful

Two-Face at 3:27 PM

Well these suck ass.

Gordon at 3:27 PM

Sex with Patrick Stewart?!

Two-Face at 3:27 PM

Ugh, I'll just close my eyes and pick one.

Man Bat at 3:27 PM

Oh dear LORD

Man Bat at 3:27 PM

Oh dear LORD

Gordon at 3:28 PM

Congratulations Kirk

Man Bat at 3:28 PM

I was dealt a bad hand, those were the only two that were coherent together

Two-Face at 3:28 PM

Kirk you finally won.

Man Bat at 3:28 PM

windmills full of corpses

Oh dear

Two-Face at 3:28 PM

Fear itself? Jonathan where are you.

Gordon at 3:28 PM

They have the meats

Man Bat at 3:29 PM

Commissioner! I thought better of you

Gordon at 3:29 PM

Oh! I won this Times

Two-Face at 3:29 PM

Honestly!

Bloom at 3:29 PM

Fear itself was my card.

Gordon at 3:29 PM

What about the dead babies Kirk?

Man Bat at 3:29 PM

Those made some amount of sense

Gordon at 3:29 PM

So does Arby’s using human meat

Two-Face at 3:29 PM

Fading away into nothingness.

I want that to happen already.

Man Bat at 3:30 PM

These are terrible

Gordon at 3:30 PM

KIRK!!

Man Bat at 3:30 PM

I’m so sorry.

Two-Face at 3:30 PM

KIRK I'M SO PROUD

Man Bat at 3:30 PM

I have a terrible hand!

Bloom at 3:30 PM

Wow Commissioner.

Bloom at 3:30 PM

Just, wow.

Man Bat at 3:31 PM

Oh dear

Gordon at 3:31 PM

Silence you... sunflower

Man Bat at 3:31 PM

Oh dear

Two-Face at 3:31 PM

Fight!!

Gordon at 3:31 PM

Dent I will not

Bloom at 3:31 PM

Dark. I like it.

Two-Face at 3:32 PM

FIGHT!!

Man Bat at 3:32 PM

Harv no.

Two-Face at 3:32 PM

HARV YES!!

Man Bat at 3:32 PM

oh my god

Commissioner!

Gordon at 3:32 PM

Oh what would Babs think

Bloom at 3:33 PM

Your more fun than you let on.

Gordon at 3:33 PM

I...

Two-Face at 3:33 PM

HE CAN HAVE FUN APPARENTLY

Gordon at 3:33 PM

Oh shush!

Man Bat at 3:33 PM

Is this really fun?

Two-Face at 3:33 PM

Yes.

Man Bat at 3:33 PM

If Francine saw what was happening here...

Two-Face at 3:34 PM

RELAX KIRKETH

Man Bat at 3:34 PM

harv!

Gordon at 3:34 PM

Becoming a blueberry? Is this Willy Wonka?

Two-Face at 3:34 PM

HAHHA.

Two-Face at 3:34 PM

HAH

Well we are all immature.

Man Bat 3:34 PM

I can’t even tell which card is Harv’s

Two-Face at 3:35 PM

HAVE ONE GUESS.

Bloom at 3:35 PM

Thank you Commish.

Man Bat at 3:35 PM

Bisexuality

Gordon at 3:35 PM

Dick Pics would be an effective way to fight..

Two-Face at 3:35 PM

YEP

WHIP OUT THE PEEN

Man Bat at 3:35 PM

No it would not!

Man Bat at 3:35 PM

harv no!

Gordon at 3:35 PM

Whip out the Peen?!

Man Bat at 3:36 PM

Please don’t encourage him

Gordon at 3:36 PM

Peen.. Heh hey

Man Bat at 3:36 PM

Commissioner

Gordon at 3:36 PM

What?

Bloom at 3:36 PM

You all enchant me.

Man Bat at 3:37 PM

Oh hush, Bloom

harv. Why

Gordon at 3:37 PM

Peen is a funny word!

Bloom at 3:37 PM

Had to go with the violence though.

Two-Face at 3:37 PM

I WIN AGAIN!

Man Bat at 3:37 PM

A haiku is 575 right?

Two-Face at 3:38 PM

Yes, I think.

Don't let me down

Gordon at 3:38 PM

I think I’ve lost all respect to you all had for me already

Man Bat at 3:39 PM

Bloom again?

What was wrong with my chili peppers?

Bloom at 3:39 PM

I literally dumped all of the cards I didn't want with no thought at all.

Gordon at 3:39 PM

I guess it wasn’t funny enough?

Bloom at 3:39 PM

So I don't know.

Man Bat at 3:39 PM

Well neither was yours, Commissioner

Gordon at 3:40 PM

Oh hush

Man Bat at 3:40 PM

I doubt I have ever been more disappointed in a group of people

GORDON!

Two-Face at 3:40 PM

GORDON

Gordon at 3:41 PM

DONT CALL ME IMMATURE HARVEY YOU SAID PEEN

Man Bat at 3:41 PM

You can’t say anything Harvey!

Man Bat at 3:41 PM

who played count chocula???

Bloom at 3:41 PM

Twas I.

Man Bat at 3:42 PM

...Why

Gordon at 3:42 PM

You can’t stand on the mature high ground after saying “Whip out the Peen”!

Two-Face at 3:42 PM

Yes I can.

And I will.

Man Bat at 3:42 PM

You can’t stand on the mature high ground for playing ”homemade cum stained Star Trek uniform” commissioner

Gordon at 3:43 PM

Uhh.. Hyuck

Two-Face at 3:43 PM

You're supposed to be mature, Commish.

Man Bat at 3:43 PM

Nice

Gordon at 3:43 PM

Kirk with the drugs

Two-Face at 3:43 PM

Whipping out the drugs, are we?

Man Bat at 3:43 PM

Better than what you’re whipping out

Gordon at 3:44 PM

Heh heh

Two-Face at 3:44 PM

Excuse me, dine upon this peen, Kirk.

Man Bat at 3:44 PM

My cards are just awful

Man Bat at 3:44 PM

HARVEY

Gordon at 3:44 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Two-Face at 3:44 PM

WHAT'S HE GONNA DO? ARREST US FOR PEEN RELATED CRIMES?

Gordon at 3:44 PM

But it was so funny!

Man Bat at 3:45 PM

How is the walking talking skeleton with a sunflower stapled to his face the most mature one here???

Yes! He can!

Bloom at 3:45 PM

Oh this one is one I resonate with

Man Bat at 3:45 PM

Who hasn’t played their card

Two-Face at 3:45 PM

Plant.

Man Bat at 3:45 PM

Ah.

Two-Face at 3:45 PM

Oh, there's two that could win.

Man Bat at 3:45 PM

I’m terrified

Two-Face at 3:45 PM

One second. FLIPPING ON IT

Gordon at 3:45 PM

Oh dear sweet Jesus

Two-Face at 3:46 PM

HAH

Bloom at 3:46 PM

YES

Man Bat at 3:46 PM

Ohhhh dear

Gordon at 3:47 PM

I can’t arrest Harvey for “peen related” crimes unless he whips it out in Public

Two-Face at 3:47 PM

eXACTLY.

Man Bat at 3:47 PM

You’ll have to give me a moment, something’s come up

Two-Face at 3:47 PM

Who cares about the stock market, I am the Great Depression.

Gordon at 3:47 PM

I think living in Gotham has gotten to us Mr. Dent

Bloom at 3:48 PM

We can wait.

Soooo

How are things?

Gordon at 3:49 PM

Dine upon this peen..

Hehehehehheeh

Two-Face at 3:49 PM

Consume.

Bloom at 3:49 PM

Gordon are you drunk

Gordon at 3:49 PM

No! I don’t think so anyway

Two-Face at 3:49 PM

It's the whiskey in the coffee again.

Bloom at 3:50 PM

Cops are always like that.

Gordon at 3:50 PM

I DO NOT PUT WHISKEY IN MY COFFEE I PUT MARSHMALLOWS

Bloom at 3:50 PM

It's why they 'accidentally' discharge their guns into unarmed children so often.

Man Bat at 3:51 PM

I’m back!

Gordon at 3:51 PM

I only put peppermint and marshmallows in my coffee!

Man Bat at 3:51 PM

That’s disgusting Gordon

Bloom at 3:51 PM

I agree.

Gordon at 3:51 PM

And it’s not always Coffee sometimes it’s just hot chocolate

Two-Face at 3:52 PM

You are the true criminal here

Gordon at 3:52 PM

And disgusting?! Tell that to that crate of mangoes!

Man Bat at 3:52 PM

I hate mangoes

Gordon at 3:52 PM

Man Bat doesn’t

Man Bat at 3:53 PM

I’m very aware of this fact, Commissioner.

Gordon at 3:54 PM

You haven’t seen disgusting until you’ve seen Manbat eat a whole bunch of them

Man Bat at 3:54 PM

you haven’t seen disgust until you look into your wife’s eyes when she sees you’ve become a hideous beast

Bloom at 3:54 PM

Mister Best is dangerously close to winning.

Gordon at 3:54 PM

Oh Kirk I’m sorry.. I went a bit too far there

Man Bat at 3:55 PM

Yes... yes you did

Gordon at 3:55 PM

Let’s forget we ever said anything..

Man Bat at 3:55 PM

Agreed

Two-Face at 3:55 PM

I cannot math, what is this.

Bloom at 3:56 PM

Please, you two.

Bloom at 3:56 PM

I dislike all of these

Be ashamed all of you.

Man Bat at 3:56 PM

Mine is great, what are you talking about?

Two-Face at 3:56 PM

MINES GREAT

Man Bat at 3:56 PM

No Harv, is isn’t

Gordon at 3:56 PM

Sexual Peeing?!

Man Bat at 3:56 PM

DAMMIT

Damn it Harv!

Bloom at 3:57 PM

one more point and he wins.

Man Bat at 3:57 PM

How was yeast not good enough?

Bloom at 3:57 PM

disgusting.

Two-Face at 3:57 PM

DISGUSTANG

Man Bat at 3:57 PM

It’s not my fault you keep picking his

Gordon at 3:57 PM

Heheheheh

Man Bat at 3:57 PM

Oh dear lord

Gordon at 3:58 PM

Am I not allowed to laugh?

Man Bat at 3:58 PM

I can’t even be surprised

Bloom at 3:58 PM

Man Bat at 3:58 PM

I was talking about the cards

Oh I do not like that

Gordon at 3:58 PM

Oh I mean of course you were

Man Bat at 3:59 PM

what

Two-Face at 3:59 PM

Sincerely, what.

Man Bat at 3:59 PM

w h a t

Man Bat at 3:59 PM

w h a t

W H A T

Gordon at 3:59 PM

Authentic Mexican Cusine hides within the bathroom

Two-Face at 3:59 PM

WHAT

Man Bat at 3:59 PM

I’m afraid to say that I believe Harv is going to win

Wait WHAT

Gordon at 4:00 PM

Wait who won?!

Man Bat at 4:00 PM

You did!

Gordon at 4:00 PM

Haha! Flying Sex Snakes!

Man Bat at 4:00 PM

what

For the love of god

Harv!

Two-Face at 4:00 PM

YES?

Man Bat at 4:01 PM

Why?

Wait that was BLOOM?

Two-Face at 4:01 PM

WHAT'S WRONG WITH A BIT OF CUDDLING?

Man Bat at 4:01 PM

...nothing

Gordon at 4:01 PM

You were cuddling?!

Bloom at 4:01 PM

....

is it with yourself?

Gordon at 4:01 PM

KIRK YOU WERE PICTURES Of BOOBS

Two-Face at 4:01 PM

yES.

Man Bat at 4:02 PM

my cards are shit, Commissioner! You cannot blame me for this

At least I wasn’t “flying sex snakes”!

Jesus Christ

Bloom at 4:02 PM

Two-Face at 4:02 PM

My assless chaps strike again

Gordon at 4:02 PM

Hey! Flying sex snakes is a perfectly acceptable thing!

Man Bat at 4:02 PM

no it is not

Gordon at 4:02 PM

Haha I win!

Man Bat at 4:02 PM

Jerk

Bloom at 4:03 PM

Geez Gordon

Two-Face at 4:03 PM

Oh my.

Bloom at 4:03 PM

You're starting to really intrigue me

Man Bat at 4:03 PM

Because my cards are terrible

Two-Face at 4:03 PM

Yes, you may.

Gordon at 4:03 PM

Oh shush Kirk you win a lot more than you know

Man Bat at 4:03 PM

Great. my cards are terrible and I refuse to be blamed

Gordon at 4:04 PM

I’m going to get some hot chocolate

Man Bat 4:04 PM

God I need a drink for this game

Gordon at 4:04 PM

Try hot chocolate it’s tasty

Man Bat at 4:04 PM

oh my GOD

Gordon!

Man Bat at 4:05 PM

Wait how am I losing

Gordon at 4:05 PM

God please forgive me for my choices

Two-Face at 4:06 PM

Some crimes cannot be forgiven.

Gordon at 4:06 PM

you sound like the Deacon Harvey

Man Bat at 4:06 PM

What in the world are these

Two-Face at 4:06 PM

I hate you for implying that.

Gordon at 4:07 PM

What you don’t want to be the good ol’ deacon

Two-Face at 4:07 PM

Yes.

Gordon at 4:07 PM

Too bad

Bloom at 4:07 PM

Harvey and I are tied now.

Bloom at 4:08 PM

exciting isn't it?

Man Bat at 4:08 PM

It’s because all of the cards in the last round were terrible, Mr. Bloom

Two-Face at 4:08 PM

They were.

Gordon at 4:08 PM

God I hope Barbara never finds out about this

Two-Face at 4:08 PM

I'm gonna tell her.

Bloom at 4:09 PM

I won.

Two-Face at 4:09 PM

Congrats.

Man Bat at 4:09 PM

Congratulations Mr. Bloom

Gordon at 4:09 PM

Lovely

Bloom at 4:09 PM

How fun.

Two-Face at 4:09 PM

I'm gonna sign off now. See if anyone else will join

Man Bat at 4:09 PM

At least we weren’t betting anything

Bloom at 4:09 PM

What a great way to kill some time

Man Bat at 4:09 PM

Alright Harvey, see you around

Bloom at 4:10 PM

Nice game Mister Dent.

--Harvey Dent has gone Offline--

--James Gordon has gone Offline--

Sherlock at 4:15 PM

Greetings. Haru told me about this game so I decided to join.

Man Bat at 4:15 PM

And who are you?

Sherlock at 4:15 PM

I’m Sherlock Holmes

Man Bat at 4:15 PM

...nice to meet you then I suppose…

Sherlock at 4:16 PM

Nice to meet you as Well Dr.Langstrom, Ms. Montgomery has told me quite a lot about you and your alter ego

Man Bat at 4:17 PM

...ah yes. Well, I suppose I don’t even want to know how much this Montgomery has told you

--Flamingo has come online--

Man Bat at 4:17 PM

Oh dear GOD no

Flamingo at 4:18 PM

Hiya darlings, did ya miss me~! ?<3

Sherlock at 4:18 PM

Haru Montgomery of the Montgomery family. You may know her father Thomas better than you know her

Man Bat at 4:18 PM

Can we get him out of here?

That’s likely

Flamingo at 4:18 PM

Can't get me outta here now, sugar~!

Man Bat at 4:19 PM

Damn it

Sherlock at 4:19 PM

After all he does run one of the most successful corporations in America

Bloom at 4:20 PM

Who is this?

Man Bat at 4:20 PM

which one

Sherlock 4:20 PM

I am Sherlock Holmes. You may call me what you wish.

Bloom at 4:20 PM

No, no the other one.

Sherlock at 4:21 PM

And Is that Eduardo Flamingo? I have heard much about you.

Flamingo at 4:21 PM

Me~?

Bloom at 4:21 PM

However, nice to meet you, of course.

Man Bat at 4:21 PM

A moronic cannibalistic asshole that goes by the name of Flamingo.

Flamingo at 4:21 PM

YAY!!! People recognise me!!!!

I am not moronic how could you~!

Man Bat at 4:21 PM

I only speak the truth...

Sherlock at 4:21 PM

I’ve read up on your crimes Mr. Flamingo

Man Bat at 4:21 PM

unlike some people

Flamingo at 4:22 PM

Aww, baby don't sound so.. cold.

Bloom at 4:23 PM

The game has started.

Man Bat 4:23 PM

I’m implying that this pink moron hasn’t told the truth a day in his life

Flamingo at 4:23 PM

I HAVE~!

Man Bat at 4:23 PM

When. Name me one time.

Sherlock at 4:24 PM

Let’s see what this game is all about. Haru warned me it might be jarring for a gentleman such as myself

Man Bat at 4:24 PM

Holmes, did you get locked out?

Bloom at 4:24 PM

Now why are there only 2 cards up instead of 3?

Man Bat at 4:24 PM

Someone got locked out

Sherlock at 4:24 PM

I believe I got locked out

Sherlock at 4:24 PM

I believe I got locked out again

Man Bat at 4:24 PM

Damn it

Bloom at 4:24 PM

It actually says you're still there.

Sherlock at 4:24 PM

Let me read the cards...

Flamingo at 4:24 PM

:D~

Man Bat at 4:25 PM

Why am I not surprised

Sherlock at 4:25 PM

Oh my word

Flamingo at 4:25 PM

Nice~!

Man Bat at 4:26 PM

oh dear

Sherlock at 4:26 PM

This is the first “online” game I play in this era and these are my choices?

Man Bat at 4:26 PM

Damn it I just spilt water everywhere

Flamingo at 4:26 PM

AGAIN!

Man Bat at 4:26 PM

Ugh

Sherlock at 4:26 PM

Well.. I suppose a lot of insurances don’t cover those injuries..

Bloom at 4:27 PM

Congratulations

Man Bat at 4:27 PM

jackass

Sherlock at 4:27 PM

What is even Mario Kart?

Bloom at 4:27 PM

Is Flamingo the only name you go by? No Surname?

Sherlock at 4:28 PM

His first name is Eduardo

Man Bat at 4:28 PM

what???

Bloom at 4:28 PM

His

last name

is flamingo??

Flamingo at 4:28 PM

Yes.

That's my name, don't use it too much just yet, baby~!

Sherlock at 4:29 PM

What in the world does Pubes mean? I’ll go ask Ms. Montgomery

Man Bat at 4:29 PM

must you be like this?

Flamingo at 4:29 PM

Yes, yes I must.

Sherlock at 4:29 PM

Ms. Montgomery refuses to tell me

Bloom at 4:29 PM

This is quite a batch we have here.

Man Bat at 4:30 PM

...That’s a question for someone else...

Sherlock at 4:30 PM

Dr. Langstrom could you tell me what “pubes” mean?

Flamingo at 4:30 PM

Do it, no balls~

Man Bat at 4:30 PM

I can but I won’t

Flamingo at 4:30 PM

Naughty naughty, doctor~.

Man Bat at 4:30 PM

Oh shut UP you dimwit

Man Bat at 4:30 PM

Flamingo I will strangle you

Bloom at 4:30 PM

It's pubic hair.

Sherlock at 4:30 PM

Are manners something that disappeared while I was- OH

Flamingo at 4:31 PM

KINKY~!

Bloom at 4:31 PM

smh

Man Bat at 4:31 PM

no!

Sherlock at 4:31 PM

So vulgar

Man Bat at 4:31 PM

What did you expect with him

Finally

Flamingo at 4:32 PM

What's tha matter darling~?

Sherlock at 4:32 PM

I was expecting gentlemen like yourselves to have manners..

Man Bat at 4:32 PM

I can assure you, most of the time I am rather polite. However, in this company...

Bloom at 4:32 PM

I'm sorry if I've offended you Mr. Holmes

Flamingo at 4:32 PM

I have manners~!

Man Bat at 4:33 PM

You do not

Flamingo at 4:33 PM

I do if you ask real nicely~.

Sherlock at 4:33 PM

Then do try to display them Mr. Flamingo.. May I simply call you Flamingo?

Flamingo at 4:33 PM

Of course!

Sherlock at 4:35 PM

Lovely.

Man Bat at 4:35 PM

I need to step away for a moment, forgive me

Flamingo at 4:35 PM

Take your time, baby.

Man Bat at 4:35 PM

I have told you time and time again not to call me that

Sherlock at 4:36 PM

My goodness cryogenic slumber simply allows you to wake up in a whole new world doesn’t it?

Bloom at 4:36 PM

Well that explains a lot.

Sherlock at 4:36 PM

It does?

Bloom at 4:36 PM

It explains ignorance.

Sherlock at 4:37 PM

Ignorance?

Man Bat at 4:37 PM

Mr. Bloom! Be polite

Bloom at 4:37 PM

I'm being factual.

Please, as if I'm striving to be the pinnacle of polite.

I like to be honest.

Flamingo at 4:38 PM

Doot doot.

Sherlock at 4:38 PM

Are you implying that I am ignorant?!

Man Bat at 4:38 PM

Doot doot?

Bloom at 4:38 PM

oh modern day workings? Seems you've made a case for that yourself.

Man Bat at 4:39 PM

One should at least try to be polite!

Flamingo at 4:39 PM

DOOT DOOT.

Man Bat at 4:39 PM

Oh god damn it

Bloom at 4:39 PM

I have no interest in false platitudes

a society driven compulsion

Man Bat at 4:40 PM

Well it might make people like you a little more…

...

Flamingo at 4:40 PM

I'm your gay thoughts.

Bloomat 4:40 PM

to lie to get through life easier

Man Bat at 4:40 PM

You’re no one’s gay thoughts

Bloom at 4:40 PM

I don't care if people like me.

Sherlock at 4:40 PM

It seems that I have been kicked out..

Man Bat at 4:41 PM

Can you rejoin, Mr. Holmes?

Bloom at 4:41 PM

Please do.

Flamingo at 4:41 PM

I can be.

Man Bat at 4:42 PM

Can be what

Flamingo at 4:42 PM

Gay thoughts.

Man Bat at 4:42 PM

I’m sure every man in Gotham would rather drown than have you in their mind

Flamingo at 4:43 PM

Oh, Doctor Kirketh Langstrom you wound me.

Man Bat at 4:43 PM

Has anyone else put a card in yet?

good

Bloom at 4:43 PM

I'm neither for or against the idea honestly.

Sherlock at 4:45 PM

And I return. Did you miss me?

Bloom 4:45 PM

How many points did you have before the connection dropped?

With this company?

,,,,perhaps

Man Bat at 4:45 PM

hey!

Sherlock at 4:46 PM

Do not fret Dr. Langstrom I find you and your alter ego fascinating

Man Bat at 4:46 PM

Thank you.

I think...

Oh dear god

Flamingo at 4:47 PM

HAH~!

Man Bat at 4:47 PM

Flamingo you disgust me

Sherlock at 4:47 PM

I also find all other rouges truly interesting!

Man Bat at 4:47 PM

Mr. Bloom!

Bloom at 4:48 PM

-shrug-

Man Bat at 4:48 PM

They’re all rather... interesting people

Bloom at 4:48 PM

Some of them more than others.

Sherlock at 4:48 PM

Though Ms. Montgomery says that I shouldn’t get carried away.. Lest my new life ends before I can start taking on cases once again

Flamingo at 4:48 PM

Yeah~! They are interesting!

Sherlock at 4:49 PM

I thank the lord that during my sleep I didn’t get any weaker

Bloom at 4:49 PM

I didn't think they had technology that advanced before.

Man Bat at 4:50 PM

Damn

Sherlock at 4:50 PM

Well.. I suppose we should all be surprised surely? But then again.. Moriarty is no longer a bother to me not this era.

Bloom at 4:50 PM

Mister Flamingo is the standout favourite.

Sherlock at 4:51 PM

Is it true you eat the faces of your victims flamingo?

Bloom at 4:51 PM

You're doing well.

Man Bat at 4:51 PM

Mr. Holmes, I commend you for your card choice

Bloomat 4:51 PM

you're good at this.

Flamingo at 4:52 PM

Awh! Thanks bloomy~!

And yes, yes I do. They're delicious~

Sherlock at 4:52 PM

Interesting.. I’ve seen the aftermath

Flamingo at 4:53 PM

Impressive, right?

Sherlock at 4:53 PM

Truly. But do not think for a second that if you approach me or Ms. Montgomery that I will hesitate to thrash you.

Man Bat at 4:53 PM

Finally SOMEONE is going to...

Bloom at 4:53 PM

Wait who won the last round?

Man Bat at 4:54 PMWho did win?

Bloom at 4:54 PM

Aaah I believe that Mr Holmes was booted from the game again

Man Bat at 4:54 PM

Mr. Holmes was locked out of the game so our cards were returned to our hands

Flamingo at 4:55 PM

Awh :(

And kinky~.

Sherlock at 4:55 PM

A non-stop fuckfest? What in the world is that?

Man Bat at 4:55 PM

Bloom at 4:55 PM

I see

Man Bat at 4:55 PM

Bloom at 4:55 PM

y i k e s

Man Bat at 4:55 PM

Oh dear lord

Bloom at 4:56 PM

WHO

Flamingo at 4:56 PM

Alot of fun that’s what~

Man Bat at 4:56 PM

please don’t ruin Mr. Holmes

Oh, very nice

Bloom at 4:56 PM

You're welcome.

Man Bat at 4:56 PM

Thank you

Sherlock at 4:58 PM

Don’t ruin me? What do you mean.. Kirk?

Man Bat at 4:58 PM

Dr. Langstrom, please

And I meant nothing

Sherlock at 4:58 PM

Ah. I understand.

Flamingo at 4:58 PM

He means things.

Man Bat at 4:58 PM

I meant nothin, Flamingo

Flamingo at 4:59 PM

I’'m gonna tell him.

Man Bat at 4:59 PM

don’t you dare

Sherlock at 4:59 PM

I’m curious

Flamingo at 5:00 PM

Exactly!

Man Bat at 5:00 PM

I will not hesitate to throttle you, Flamingo

Flamingo at 5:00 PM

Please.

Man Bat at 5:01 PM

Oh lord, that’s another one of your... things, isn’t it

Thank you Mr. Holmes

Flamingo at 5:01 PM

;)~

Man Bat at 5:02 PM

You’re disgusting

Sherlock at 5:02 PM

Would it be “kinky” as Flamingo says?

Flamingo at 5:02 PM

YES.

Man Bat at 5:02 PM

..yes

Flamingo at 5:02 PM

YES IT WOULD BE

Sherlock at 5:02 PM

Perhaps I am getting better at these modern terms

Man Bat at 5:02 PM

I’m not sure you want to be

Flamingo at 5:03 PM

You are.

Search what one up is!

It's very informative.

Sherlock at 5:03 PM

How else will I communicate and Gather evidence?

Man Bat at 5:03 PM

These cards are just awful

Flamingo at 5:04 PM

They are :(

Man Bat at 5:05 PM

what??? How did that card win?

Bloom at 5:05 PM

Because I liked it

Reminded me of what I'll be doing to Gotham soon.

Man Bat at 5:05 PM

Oh very well...

Oh I don’t like that

Sherlock at 5:06 PM

Oh dear lord

Man Bat at 5:06 PM

why are all of you like this

Sherlock at 5:06 PM

So I took mr Flamingos advice..

Flamingo at 5:06 PM

:D!

Man Ba at 5:06 PM

Damn it!

Sherlock at 5:07 PM

And believe me I will not repeat that mistake in the future

Man Bat at 5:07 PM

I tried to warn you Mr Holmes

Flamingo at 5:07 PM

Only having fun, baby~

Sherlock at 5:08 PM

I suppose you did

Man Bat at 5:08 PM

It’s not fun if you’re traumatizing this poor man

what

Sherlock at 5:09 PM

Oh I assure you Dr. Langstrom London in my time was quite the hive of degeneracy

Bloom at 5:09 PM

Hmm

Onion Log™ won

Man Bat at 5:09 PM

What just happened

Flamingo at 5:09 PM

Yes~!

Bloom at 5:10 PM

was sure it wouldn't. Thanks

Man Bat at 5:10 PM

Thank you, Bloom

Bloom at 5:11 PM

It was a good card matchup.

Flamingo at 5:11 PM

Knew it~!

Bloom at 5:11 PM

How many times have you given him points?

Man Bat at 5:12 PM

Screw you, Flamingo

It’s not my fault! The cards were terrible

Flamingo at 5:12 PM

Oh, please~!

Man Bat at 5:12 PM

Damn you

Bloom at 5:12 PM

AAhhhh

Bloom at 5:13 PM

I have to tell you, this is mildly better than doing nothing.

I haven't touched a computer in months until now though

Man Bat at 5:13 PM

That’s wonderful!

Bloom at 5:13 PM

Had to do a lil B&E

Man Bat at 5:14 PM

May I ask what that is?

Yes!

Bloom at 5:14 PM

Breaking and Entering.

Man Bat at 5:14 PM

Bloom at 5:14 PM

And you're considered a criminal?

well I suppose that's not exactly intentional is it?

Sherlock at 5:15 PM

Hmm Another crime to document

Man Bat at 5:15 PM

I don’t break and enter unless I have to

Flamingo at 5:15 PM

I break and enter whenever

Man Bat at 5:15 PM

And that was only trying to get rid of Man-Bat

Sherlock at 5:16 PM

Man-Bat? Your alter ego?

Bloom at 5:16 PM

But yes, I broke into someone's house to get access to a computer

Man Bat at 5:16 PM

Yes, him

Bloom at 5:16 PM

among other things

Man Bat at 5:16 PM

Dare I ask?

Man Bat at 5:17 PM

Yes! Thank you Mr. Holmes

Bloom at 5:17 PM

The use of a shower.

Bloom at 5:17 PM

Too much dried blood is bothersome

Sherlock at 5:18 PM

I should thank my stars that Ms. Montgomery took me in

Man Bat at 5:18 PM

...makes sense

WHAT WHAT water?

Flamingo at 5:18 PM

sluuuuuuuurp~!

Man Bat at 5:18 PM

These are just awful

What???

Bloom at 5:19 PM

¯_(✿)_/¯

Sherlock at 5:20 PM

I’m sure if you asked her Dr. Langstrom Ms. Montgomery would be more than happy to offer you assistance

Man Bat at 5:20 PM

Dammit!!!

Flamingo at 5:20 PM

I win again!

Bloom at 5:20 PM

Well

Flamingo at 5:20 PM

YAY~!

Man Bat at 5:20 PM

Oh, no thank you Mr. Holmes

Man Bat at 5:20 PM

God damn it!

Bloom at 5:20 PM

I think you may have given him every point in that game.

Astounding.

Man Bat at 5:20 PM

I did not

I would never!

Bloom at 5:21 PM

But that must have happened 4 or 5 times. It was fascinating honestly

especially with how much you seem to hate him.

Man Bat at 5:21 PM

I did not try to pick his cards!

What are you implying?

Bloom at 5:21 PM

Ooh I'm sure.

Flamingo at 5:22 PM

Oh he definitely picked me~!

Bloom at 5:22 PM

but your reaction...

Man Bat at 5:22 PM

I wouldn’t pick you for anything if my life depended on it!

Bloom at 5:22 PM

I think you doth protest too much.

Man Bat at 5:23 PM

I think you “doth” look into things too much…

Flamingo at 5:23 PM

Fight.

Sherlock at 5:23 PM

Gentlemen behave

Bloom at 5:23 PM

Shut up.

Man Bat at 5:23 PM

Can it Flamingo or I’ll make you

And maybe you’re right, Bloom. But I’d say I’m certainly justified

Bloom at 5:24 PM

Oh of course.

Man Bat at 5:24 PM

There you go again, just being rude

Bloom at 5:24 PM

Embrace your hatred.

Bloom at 5:24 PM

but stop whining

Man Bat at 5:24 PM

Now I don’t need you telling me what to do

excuse me?

Bloom at 5:24 PM

and do something about it

Man Bat at 5:24 PM

maybe I will Flamingo!

Bloom at 5:25 PM

You can try. But I'm very hard to kill

Man Bat at 5:25 PM

And unlike you, I’m not a goddamn murderer!

Sherlock at 5:25 PM

GENTLEMEN

Man Bat at 5:25 PM

Can it Holmes!

Sherlock at 5:25 PM

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!

Bloom at 5:25 PM

Just be true to your nature.

That's all I was saying

Man Bat at 5:25 PM

I’m... I’m sorry Mr. Holmes. I seem to have lost myself for a moment

As for you, Bloom...

Sherlock at 5:26 PM

... Indeed you did

Bloom at 5:26 PM

Man Bat at 5:26 PM

Well I can hardly be blamed now can I?

Bloom at 5:26 PM

What do you mean?

Man Bat at 5:26 PM

I think you need to learn to quit while you’re behind

Sherlock at 5:27 PM

I do believe Flamingo was purposely antagonizing in order to gain a reaction

Bloom at 5:27 PM

I'm never behind, not anymore

Flamingo at 5:27 PM

heh.

Man Bat at 5:27 PM

You clearly are! You were behind in the game, you’re behind in life!

Bloom at 5:27 PM

Man Bat at 5:27 PM

Yes, well Mr. Holmes, that’s nothing new!

Bloom at 5:28 PM

THATS HILARIOUS

Sherlock at 5:28 PM

It’s only typical of a flamboyant attention seeking personality like Mr. Flamingo

Man Bat at 5:28 PM

And what’s so funny about it?

Flamingo at 5:28 PM

Excuse moi~?

Sherlock at 5:28 PM

You crave attention Mr. Flamingo, you may be afraid of being forgotten. You don’t like it when others steal the spotlight do you?

Bloom at 5:28 PM

Ah nothing, you'll see soon enough how 'ahead of the game' I am

Man Bat at 5:29 PM

“Ahead of the game” my ass

Bloom at 5:29 PM

You're out of your depth

Man Bat at 5:29 PM

you’re out of your MIND!

Sherlock at 5:29 PM

Langstrom you are being played like a fiddle

Man Bat at 5:30 PM

And I do not care! These... bastards have been causing problems since the beginning of the game, is it any surprise that I’m finally fed up!

Sherlock at 5:30 PM

No it is not. I suppose I’m not one to speak about anger.

Bloom at 5:31 PM

You seem to be mistaken.

Man Bat at 5:31 PM

What mistakes are we making dandelion?

Bloom at 5:31 PM

I simply was amused by the coincidence of how many point you ended up giving the person you were loudly hating the entire time.

no implications, but you got

so so defensive.

Man Bat at 5:32 PM

gee, I WONDER WHY

Sherlock at 5:32 PM

Mr. Bloom, deduction is my game

But it is nice to see another player

Bloom at 5:33 PM

And it's a daisy, thank you.

Man Bat at 5:33 PM

Stuff it, sunflower

Flamingo at 5:33 PM

Such a prime roast.

Man Bat at 5:33 PM

Like you could do better

Bloom at 5:33 PM

Yes I'm shaking in my boots

Sherlock at 5:34 PM

Who knew a card game could spark such anger?

Bloom at 5:34 PM

are you telling me

that given the chance you would do nothing with your anger?

Man Bat at 5:34 PM

Well I never said that

I’d just prefer to stay out of Arkham

Flamingo at 5:35 PM

Sherlock at 5:35 PM

Anger is something I’ve learned to suppress personally along with many other things

Bloom at 5:35 PM

That's good to hear.

What if Arkham wasn't a possibility?

Would you then?

I have thought of leveling the building.

Sherlock at 5:36 PM

Don’t be tempted Langstrom.

Bloom at 5:36 PM

I wonder what one of my seeds would do for you. Someone who is already so...enhanced.

Man Bat at 5:37 PM

Don’t even think about it you overgrown skeleton

Bloom at 5:37 PM

It's merely an offer.

Sherlock at 5:37 PM

Your seeds seem to grant power at a cost.

Bloom at 5:37 PM

What cost?

There is none.

I give them away for free.

to those who are worthy...

It could improve your life..

Did you ever consider that?

Man Bat at 5:39 PM

Pardon my language, but bullshit

Flamingo at 5:39 PM

Oh my god this is stupid.

Manbat at 5:39 PM

And you aren’t?

Flamingo at 5:39 PM

...Yeah, I totally am.

Man Bat at 5:39 PM

You act like you’ve never done something like this before. Purposefully pissing people off for the fun of it

Ruining lives and killing innocent people because you couldn’t control yourself

Flamingo at 5:40 PM

Aww, Doctor Kirk Langstrom.

Bloom at 5:41 PM

We may have been bantering but I'm not 'pissed off'.

Flamingo at 5:41 PM

I do not kill people, that is my least favourite thing to do.

Man Bat at 5:41 PM

I honestly don’t think you’re even capable of feeling anything but contempt, Mr. Bloom

And I pity you for it

Bloom at 5:41 PM

I feel zero contempt.

Flamingo at 5:42 PM

Ouch, there's some shit going down.

Sherlock at 5:42 PM

I doubt Bloom feels much of anything

-Harvey Dent has come online--

Two-Face at 6:01 PM

Fuck.

Man Bat at 6:02 PM

Harvey! Wonderful to see you again

Bloom at 6:02 PM

observing us, were you?

Sherlock at 6:02 PM

Hello. Mr Dent

Riddler at 6:02 PM

Afternoon, Harvey, Harv.

Bloom at 6:02 PM

Hello again.

Two-Face at 6:02 PM

Oh, hiya Nygma. CAN I PLAY?

Sherlock at 6:02 PM

Oh. Do forgive my rudeness in not addressing you both.

Bloom at 6:03 PM

A good choice.

Riddler at 6:03 PM

I was, yes. It's fun to try and deduce what's happening without half of the story.

Man Bat at 6:03 PM

Hello Harv! Wonderful to see you again as well

Well that must’ve been rather difficult, even for a man of your intellect

Sherlock at 6:04 PM

Harvey and Harv, Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Riddler at 6:04 PM

Not really: a game like this, there's only so many things that could be happening, and all of it's horrible.

Two-Face at 6:04 PM

Nice to meetcha too, what did I miss.

Man Bat at 6:04 PM

Several mistakes

Gordon at 6:04 PM

Me learning things I should not.

Riddler at 6:05 PM

Flamingo came around to say hello, I believe.

Sherlock at 6:06 PM

Are you all actually the rouges? -Montgomery

Man Bat at 6:06 PM

Unfortunately, yes

Riddler at 6:06 PM

Proudly.

Two-Face at 6:06 PM

Yep. HELL YES!

Sherlock at 6:08 PM

Oh dear.. Holmes hasn’t already revealed who I am has he? -M

Man Bat at 6:08 PM

He’s spoken of you, certainly

Sherlock at 6:10 PM

I’m going to have to politely request that none of you attempt to rob me please - M

Two-Face at 6:10 PM

I wouldn't.

Man Bat at 6:10 PM

I’m offended you think so little of us

Riddler at 6:10 PM

Sure, that always works.

Man Bat at 6:10 PM

Be nice to the poor girl

Sherlock at 6:11 PM

What do expect?! I’m rather wealthy and I’ve been told that all you rouges want to do to me and other rich gothamites is kill us!

Man Bat at 6:11 PM

Stereotyping now, are we?

Man Bat at 6:11 PM

Though I suppose it’s fair

Riddler at 6:11 PM

There's a bit of a bigger step to this, and that is: why shouldn't we rob you?

Man Bat at 6:13 PM

Oh don’t antagonize her, she’s probably terrified enough as is

Sherlock at 6:13 PM

If I don’t build more homeless centers who will?! Not Ms, Veerland

Bloom at 6:14 PM

I'm sorry

who are you??

Two-Face at 6:14 PM

Well this is fun.

Riddler at 6:14 PM

It's hardly antagonizing to expect someone to defend themselves.

Riddler at 6:15 PM

Besides: she brought it up.

Man Bat at 6:15 PM

Well... I suppose

Sherlock at 6:15 PM

Haru Montgomery! My father is Thomas Montgomery owner of one of the most...successful..

Riddler at 6:15 PM

Yeeeeees?

Bloom at 6:16 PM

..........

Sherlock at 6:16 PM

Companies in America....

Man Bat at 6:16 PM

Oh dear

Riddler at 6:16 PM

Mhmmmm?

Bloom at 6:16 PM

Who invited you??

Sherlock at 6:16 PM

I did Mr. Bloom

Man Bat at 6:17 PM

She’s Mr. Holmes’ friend

Sherlock at 6:17 PM

Partner Dr. Langstrom

Man Bat at 6:17 PM

Apologies

Two-Face at 6:17 PM

Fuck this, I'm getting pizza Y'ALL WANT SOME?

Sherlock at 6:17 PM

My dear Haru, have you ever heard of the phrase "digging your own grave?"

Man Bat at 6:18 PM

Yes please, you two

Riddler at 6:18 PM

Certainly. I like anchovies.

Sherlock at 6:18 PM

What do you mean by that Mr. Riddler?

Two-Face at 6:18 PM

EDWARD YOU'RE A FUCKING HEATHEN BUT ACCEPTABLE.

Man Bat at 6:18 PM

Hehe

Bloom at 6:18 PM

Spicy As long as it's spicy

Riddler at 6:19 PM

I mean that if you are, in fact, concerned with what rogues might do to you,that you might find it beneficial to stop telling them personal information.

Man Bat at 6:19 PM

Could we get some part of it plain?

Sherlock at 6:20 PM

Cheese please for the two of us.

Riddler at 6:20 PM

I don't mind if the fish is on the side.

Two-Face at 6:20 PM

FUCK Y'ALL. YAINT GETTIN PIZZA

Sherlock at 6:20 PM

Well.. Mr.. Riddler... I

Man Bat at 6:20 PM

Apologies, Harv

Bloom at 6:20 PM

Oh well.

Two-Face at 6:20 PM

HALF PLAIN. HALF PEPPERONI WITH SPICE, ANCHOVIES ON THE SIDE COS FUCK THOSE.

Riddler at 6:20 PM

Fair.

Man Bat at 6:21 PM

Alright, that sounds lovely

Two-Face at 6:21 PM

OH NO, EDWARD, KIRK, BLOOM Y'ALL CAN GET SOME

THE RICH FUCKS CAN GET THEIR OWN

Two-Face at 6:21 PM

...Fine. I'll get the couple a single cheese pizza.

Bloom at 6:21 PM

now pick a damn card Dent

Two-Face at 6:21 PM

FUCK

Man Bat at 6:22 PM

Thank you, both of you

Riddler at 6:22 PM

Yes, thank you.

Sherlock at 6:22 PM

... ITS NOT LIKE I WANT TO BE RICH?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE TO MOST PEOPLE?! IM A WALKING ATM WITH NO EMOTIONS THAT PEOPLE ONLY HANG AROUND FOR FREE STUFF- Oh thank you Mr. Harvey

Two-Face at 6:22 PM

I'M GOING FERAL OVER PIZZA STOP RUSHING ME DAMNIT

Bloom at 6:22 PM

Oh Noooo

Man Bat at 6:22 PM

Oh dear, this escalated rather quickly...

Bloom at 6:22 PM

Poor you

Riddler at 6:22 PM

And by all means, Montgomery, you can chit-chat, but it'll do you good to mind your words and your manners: after all, you're the one assuming we're common muggers.

Sherlock at 6:25

Does anyone here have any hobbies? Like gardening or meditation?

Riddler at 6:27 PM

I play games.

Two-Face at 6:27 PM

Yeah, games usually.

Man Bat at 6:27 PM

If tending to the bats counts, then I suppose

Sherlock at 6:28 PM

I’m guessing that you like those giant puzzle books?

Oh! The bats at the Gotham Zoo are so darling!

Man Bat at 6:28 PM

I’m very glad you appreciate them!

Riddler at 6:28 PM

I would, if there were any that could actually keep me entertained.

Bloom at 6:29 PM

My hobby is revolution

Two-Face at 6:29 PM

Riddler at 6:29 PM

You must be fun at parties, Mr Bloom.

Sherlock at 6:30 PM

So you are like Anarky?

Bloom at 6:30 PM

We have some things in common, yes.

I might even say I'm fond of him.

Man Bat at 6:31 PM

Aw, I didn’t know you could feel things, Bloom~

Bloom at 6:32 PM

And yes Mister Nygma, I'm the life of the party

A little bit.

Two-Face at 6:32 PM

Oof.

Bloom at 6:32 PM

it's not significant

Two-Face at 6:32 PM

WHY THE FUCK DOES FOOD COST SO MUCH. WE NEED FOOD TO FUCKING LIVE

Man Bat at 6:32 PM

Would you like me to pay, Harv?

Sherlock at 6:32 PM

I could pay for it

Two-Face at 6:33 PM

...Please do Kirk.

Bloom at 6:33 PM

I can't

Man Bat at 6:33 PM

Absolutely

Bloom at 6:33 PM

I'm penniless

Two-Face at 6:33 PM

I MEAN WE COULD JUST TAKE IT

Bloom at 6:33 PM

There is that..

Man Bat at 6:33 PM

Harv, no

Two-Face at 6:34 PM

Don't worry, we won't.

Man Bat at 6:34 PM

Thank you

Riddler at 6:34 PM

I'll pay my part back.

Bloom at 6:34 PM

I don't actually need to eat so it's fine

you can not bother.

You got the same answer to this card as I did last round

Man Bat at 6:36 PM

I did

Sherlock at 6:36 PM

I’ll make sure to compensate you Dr. Langstrom

Two-Face at 6:36 PM

Oh wow.

FUCK KIRK YOU'RE GONNA WIN

Man Bat at 6:36 PM

Well that’ll be a first, won’t it?

Don’t jinx me now

Two-Face at 6:37 PM

Bloom, how rude of you.

Bloom at 6:37 PM

What did I say?

Two-Face at 6:38 PM

Honestly, I thought you were above peen humor.

Man Bat at 6:38 PM

Harvey, you’re not allowed to judge him for that

Two-Face at 6:38 PM

Bloom at 6:38 PM

It won, didn't it?

Man Bat at 6:39 PM

unfortunately...

Riddler at 6:39 PM

Isn't that the point?

Bloom at 6:39 PM

Might as well appeal to you degenerates

Two-Face at 6:39 PM

DEGENERATES HOW FUCKING COULD YOU

Man Bat at 6:39 PM

How kind of you...

Sherlock at 6:39 PM

No comment - S.H

Man Bat at 6:39 PM

Oh! I won

How nice!

Two-Face at 6:40 PM

Next round?

Bloom at 6:40 PM

Congrats Langstrom

Riddler at 6:40 PM

Well done.

Bloom at 6:40 PM

Congrats Langstrom

Riddler at 6:40 PM

Well done.

Bloom at 6:40 PM

Does anyone want different packs?

Riddler at 6:40 PM

Sure, why not?

Bloom at 6:40 PM

We got a lot of the same questions this time

Man Bat at 6:40 PM

Holiday packs could be fun

- Sherlock Holmes has gone offline-

Two-Face at 6:40 PM

Another pack should be useful.

-James Gordon has come online-

Bloom at 6:41 PM

Any suggestions?

Welcome back Commissioner

Man Bat at 6:41 PM

Holiday?

Hello Commissioner, welcome back!

Bloom at 6:41 PM

It's nice to have you back

Two-Face at 6:41 PM

MORE BLANK CARDS YOU PUSSIES.

Oh, hello James.

Riddler at 6:41 PM

Afternoon, Commissioner.

Man Bat at 6:41 PM

Harv!

Two-Face at 6:41 PM

Did Babs give you a good scream at for playing with us?

Gordon at 6:42 PM

She hasn’t found out yet

Bloom at 6:42 PM

I don't know WHERE blanks cards are

Man Bat at 6:43 PM

Oh I think I like my hand this time

Two-Face at 6:43 PM

Who are you and what have you done with Kirk.

Man Bat at 6:44 PM

Very funny, Harvey

Bloom at 6:44 PM

I traded out a lot of the packs

Seems like we've finally got less disgusting cards.

Two-Face at 6:44 PM

Finally.

AWW :(

Man Bat at 6:44 PM

You say that...

I’m not quite sure it’s true

--It was at this point, we stopped keeping track, pizza was consumed, Flamingo was almost throttled by Kirk, Riddler still didn’t win, Penguin eventually joined and was accused of cheating, and James Gordon went home in shame.--

@ask-manbat @askthepenguin @askflamingo @riddlesandqueries @mister-bloom @askthecommish

#Kind of OOC?#Questionable Canonity #Long Post

6 notes · View notes

thehalfworld · 7 years

Text

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 8]

And here we are at the end. I hope you’ve all been enjoying the ride, because it’s about to get a whole lot weirder in this, the final chapter.

Warnings this time around: a whole lot of drug use, some underage drinking, DUI but it’s okay because Tiaa is a vampire, bestiality, and an attempted sexual assault. Also did I mention drug use? There’s a lot of drug use.

Recap: Tiaa met a panda bear named Snoofles on her way to school (please don’t think too hard about this) and learned that she can now talk to animals, among other abilities. Thanks to a vague new ability of hers, she accidentally made her mean classmate Lauren get struck by lightning while they were in a verbal spat. Edward finally decided to leave Bella for Tiaa and the two celebrated by having sex in the middle of the school. Bella walked in on them and got upset.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

hey guys sory its been so long since an update, i hav been so busy latley. sooooo..i had a fight with my old beta but i have a new 1 now an she is helpin me byut she is on vacaton this wk and next so i promise i will sort the spellin mistaks out wen i can!

Did she refuse to beta your fic after you stole her poster of Gerard Way?

Chapter 8 - the Kidnap

I sat alone in the changes rooms, i was all most naked and looked awsome with my exotic lithely hair falling down over my face like a curtan of soft yellow cream with bits of purple in it but I didnt care how beautifull or eqxisite I was any more.

Tiaa doesn’t care how beautiful she is, but she had to start the sentence off by reminding us all how beautiful she is. And that she looks awesome. And her hair is exotic.

Whatever that means.

Edward was gone. he had left to follow Bella to stop her from killin herself and i was SO mad.

Wait, are you mad Edward is attempting to prevent Bella from committing suicide?

how coud he leave me like that after sayin bella was a cow and he didnt like her no more?

That doesn’t mean he’s fine with letting her make attempts on her own life, Tiaa.

I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe.

I love this goddamn sentence.

So i went home and skipped school and sat in my room in my black corset and leather panties and i smoked some drugs and started to weep.

To be fair, this is a really solid stoner-goth aesthetic she has going.

…wait, hold up, leather panties?

Leather panties?

dave came in and made a big smiley face.

He’s in a really good mood for someone whose brother was murdered hours ago.

"hi tiaa! I didnt no you were home! how was school today?" (he didnt notice i was smokin drugs he thougt my cigarete of pot was a chapstick)

Okay, for the sake of argument, I’ll buy that Dave visually mistook a spliff for chapstick… but can he not smell that she’s smoking weed?

"it sucks!my life sucks and i want to DIE!" i scremed and my eyes glitered with beauty.

Love how Tiaa is suicidal but still needs to make sure we know how pretty she is at all times. Reminds me of the bit in “My Immortal” where Enoby was flirting while sobbing.

"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" he said laughing a lot, and i knew he thougt i was just some silly kid wineing about homework and dumb boys and stuff.

Well, replace “homework” with “getting raped by the relative of a caregiver, turning into a vampire, and accidentally seriously injuring a classmate” and Dave’s on the money.

he didnt no i had killed a man and lost the love off my life and had made lauren get hit by lighting and that all the kids at school thougt i was a freak becase my face and bodys were so diffrent from everyone elses.

Do I really need to tell this girl to stop humanizing her rapist? She killed him in self-defense! It was one hundred percent justified! C’mon, Tiaa, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Also, nobody cares about Lauren.

"dave your a good person but ur SO FUCKIN DUMB! YOU ASSHOLE!" i shouted at him and i threw my ashtray at his head WITHOUT TOUCHING IT (i could make stuff move when i was angry now...it was so weird! why did this have too happen to me!)

Well, yeah, that is weird, but I don’t get the woe-is-me attitude about it. Telekinesis is a really cool ability. Also, turns out Dave is literally so dumb that you can be an obvious nonhuman smoking weed in bed while screaming about wanting to die and he’ll take you for an ordinary teenage girl holding a tube of chapstick.

"haha, i guess your right" he laughed (he thougt i was joking, i wasnt spoiled or anythin)

…so did the ashtray miss?

"its so nice havin you hear tiana, your so pretty. i swear your even prettier than before!

I can’t help but feel that the amount Dave and Marie compliment Tiaa on her looks borders on inappropriate, considering she is sixteen and they are her foster parents.

and i think your boobs hav grown!"

Case in point.

"yeh i no they are like an E cup now" i said.

I guess it’s a good thing she’s a vampire, then, since I’m pretty sure vampires can’t get back problems.

Wait. Can vampires get high? Does being high feel different if you’re a vampire?

Dave smiled and patted me on the head and left.

That Dave!

I was so sick of bein treated like a kid and no one listenin to me that i got up and got dresed in a long black dress and took some pills (of drugs) and went out to the local nightclub which was called Pablo NIghtmare - it was a goth club were all the cool people went in forks.

Listen, I don’t know Washington State, but in my neck of the woods small towns don’t have goth nightclubs.

I love that she specified the pills were drugs, in case we thought they were sugar pills or something.

bella probably had never even heard of it, LOL!

If there is a goth nightclub in your small town, I guarantee you everyone has heard of it.

i met snoofles on the way and he came with me.

You’re taking the panda out clubbing?

we went to the club and got drinks and started dancing to the heavy metal music.

…I’m starting to get very confused about Snoofles. My initial impression was that he’s a regular panda bear, but Tiaa is able to communicate with him because she’s a vampire and can talk to all animals now. But I don’t think ordinary pandas go to clubs, get drinks, and dance to heavy metal music.

Although I’ve never met one, so I could be wrong.

ppl there stared at us cos i was so diffrerent looking and Snoofles was a panda, but we didnt care we were havin so much fun we were SO drunk and had taken a lot of drugs so my head was fuzzy like there was snow everywhere.

I adore the similes in this fic. No idea what Tiaa is on but I definitely know what the author means by feeling like there’s snow everywhere in your head.

"hi your called Tiana arent you? I am Jasper and I go to your school" said Jasper Cullen who was tall with blond curly hair like straw only soft and nice and not dry.

So… not like straw, then.

he was tall.

Yeah, you mentioned.

he was wearin a black pulover and red metal pointy shoes. (AN - haha, that descripton sounded beter in my head, OH WELL!)

No, it’s good, I dig it. Simple goth on top, bling on the bottom, may or may not be wearing pants? It’s a look.

"hey whatever" i said. "why arent you with that girl i all ways see you with?

"you mean my GF alice," he said and locked soddenly very sad and started to cry and bite down hard on his lips.

"what is wrong Jasper?" i said

"the problem is i dont love her like she loves me. i am gay, and thats wrong, and i feel so horible about it!"

Of course he’s gay. Look at his outfit! Look at those shoes! I can’t even see him for real and my gaydar is going wild.

"theres nothing bad about bein gay u no" i said.

"REALLY?" he sed, and looked chocked with his mouth open.

Good on Tiaa for being an ally. I love how Jasper reacts as though he’s never considered the possibility that his gayness might be alright. He’s a vampire too and has been alive for well over a century, so that’s a lot of internalized homophobia… but he’s also been around to witness the entire modern LGBT rights movement, so you’d think he might have gotten the “it’s okay to be gay” message before.

"yeah, its proper normal and Snoofles is gay and everything" i said and Snoofles waved and Jasper waves back.

If you just got a bad feeling about what might happen next, trust your fucking instincts.

he smiled and we all stared dancing together and Jasper gave us some of his drugs.

I really wanna know what they’ve been taking, because even though Tiaa isn’t human I feel like anyone who can get high should have to worry about drug interactions. Weed and alcohol is fine, but aside from that I have no idea what the hell Tiaa is on except that she described it as “pills” and a lot of drugs that come in pill form do not play nice with alcohol. She probably isn’t going to fry her liver or anything like that given that she’s essentially undead, but I doubt she’s immune to having a bad trip.

we had a relay good time and jasper met another gay guy called Vince and we all got in Snoofleses car at the end of the night and i drove around while the others all had sex in the back of the car.

A note: At this point in the story I quite literally had to stop the MST for a bit so I could pour myself a very stiff drink.

The panda has a car. The panda is having a threesome with a vampire and a human in the back of his car while another vampire drives it. This is treated as normal because the panda and his two human(oid) sexual partners happen to all be gay.

Like, I’d normally feel pretty weird about the “promiscuous gay” stereotype being invoked, but I’m way too busy feeling weird that the author thinks it’s normal for gay guys to want to screw a panda because the panda happens to be gay too. Also, keep in mind Snoofles can only talk to Tiaa — the dudes he’s having sex with can’t understand him. I’m gonna say a panda who behaves like a human and owns a car is probably capable of consenting, but I still feel mighty weird about the idea that two dudes who perceive Snoofles as an ordinary, non-talking panda would want to have a threesome with him.

I guess the promiscuity aspect isn’t even bad considering how Tiaa and Edward have been acting with each other throughout the fic. The bestiality, though, I have trouble overlooking.

(i was drunk but cos i was a vampire it was ok to drive i had beter reflex than humans!)

Sure, but do you even know how to drive? In most states, it’s not legal to get a learner’s permit until you’re Tiaa’s age, so we’re not talking “experienced driver with superhuman reflexes,” we’re talking “superhuman reflexes, but on somebody who quite possibly has never sat in the driver’s seat of a car before.”

but soddenly somethin jumped into the road infront of us and i had to stop the car and get out. there was a man standin in the middle of the road he was tall and mussely and had black hair like the black feathers of a raven in the black darkness.

But was his black hair like the black feathers of a black raven in the black darkness? I just want to be clear on the color.

he was good looking but he looked so angry i got out my samurai sword (i often have it with me!) but somone jammed up behind me and tore it from me, there were like ten people all grabbing my body in the darkness and they put a thing over my face so i coudnt see and they tied me up!

Oh, of course, her samurai sword. Yep. Been with her the whole time.

Jasper Snoofles and Vince were too busy doing gay sex on each other to notice, i cud hear them grunting and humping and having orgasms on each other - it was so cute but now was SO not the time!

She’s being attacked by a group of ten or more people, who have overpowered her, restrained her, and blindfolded her, in the middle of the road. Three people (well, a person, a vampire, and a panda) are present and they don’t notice this happening at all.

Like… I know they’re all intoxicated and, uh, otherwise occupied at the moment, but did they not at least pause to notice Tiaa slamming on the brakes to avoid colliding with a stranger in the road?

The men who had caught me took me away and somethin hit me over the head and i was unconshous.

when i awoken i found myself in a small dark room and the tall mussel man was in front of me. i was strip down to my underwear and i was chained to a chair with some metal chains and i coudnt move.

Tiaa has superhuman strength and reflexes. She has telekinetic abilities. She can affect objects and people by touching them.

Yet she can’t get out of being chained to a chair?

I call BS.

"WHO ARE YOU YOU WANKY PERV!" i shoyted.

She sounds like Wheatley from “ITS MY LIFE!” now.

"I AM JACOB...THE WEREWOLF KING!" he yelled with his eyes rolling around in his face - he looked so mad and CRAZY!

Jacob’s a big dude who can turn into a wolf, but he’s also about fifteen and just learning about the whole werewolf thing, so I doubt he’d be “king” of anything. Also Tiaa could take him easy.

"NOOOOOOO!" I scremed and i try to broke myself free but i was under so many heavy chains so i looked into his wagging face insted.

I don’t know why she reacted so negatively to Jacob’s response. There is a longstanding vampire/werewolf feud in the Twilight universe, but Tiaa is very newly turned and shouldn’t know about any of that yet. Learning your kidnapper is a werewolf sucks, but if you’re already a vampire you’ve got an edge too.

"Watt do u want from me? why am i here?" i say and i started to cry.

"YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA SWAN!" he shreeked and the drool was sloapping down his face just like rain only thick and foam-like.

So… not like rain, then.

"YOU ARE A HALF-BREAD!

I’ve got to change this blog’s name right away. I don’t know what I was thinking naming it “The Half-World” when I could have named it “The Half-Bread.”

Also, hold up — what did Tiaa do to Bella? Is this just about “stealing” Edward? Jacob and Edward aren’t exactly buddy-buddy, and if Bella’s single Jacob has a chance with her, so if anything I think he owes Tiaa a thank-you.

YOU SHOUD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORNE! YOUR FATHER WAS A VAMPIRE AND YOUR MOM WAS A WHITCH! ITS WEIRD AND WRONG AND NOW YOUVE BROKEN BELLAS HEART! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!"

Well, this really does speak for itself.

This dude was insane, he was so angery he was jumpin up and down.

Sounds like my second-grade teacher. She was the daughter of a well-known Republican senator and she had to resign after she tied a kid to a chair with a jump rope. True story.

But something he said had caugt my attention .

Good job on the punctuation.

"What do u mean my mom was a whitch?" I said.

What do you think he meant, genius?

"MY FATHER USED TO NO HER! SHE LIVED HERE IN LA PUSH AND SHE WAS A WHITCH! SHE COUD MAKE FIRE COME FROM NOWERE AND CONTROLL THE WETHER AND TALK TO ANIMALS AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF! SHE WAS A FREAK LIKE U!"

I guess this does explain Tiaa’s extra powers, but, I have to say, I don’t think Jacob gets to criticize anyone else for being freaky when he can turn into a wolf.

Of corse! It all made sense now!

It didn’t all make sense. There’s still an interspecies gay threesome that needs explaining.

I was so shocked I fainted,

and also got my periods and commas mixed up,

When i woke up Jacob was in front of me and he was NAKED! He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his male genital item was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.

Honest to god I love these similes.

he stroked my knee with it and i gapsed. whatt was he going to do to me!

I think I have an idea, actually.

but sudenly before he coud come any closer the door of the room we were in burst open!

IT WAS EWDARD!

Here to save the day! And to end the fic, because this is it for “Forbiden Fruit”: BeckyMac666 left us all on a cliffhanger, so we’ll never know what happens.

I do genuinely love this fanfic. I love how it’s written, I love the similes, I love the purple prose and the melodramatic tone, and I love my girl Tiaa. It’s a truly fantastic badfic, and I’m happy I got to introduce others to it, too.

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

4 notes · View notes

bwicblog · 7 years

Text

EE: Wheeew, ånyone else feeling the recent heåtwåve?

EE: I just wånnå weår tånk-tops ålreådy but I cån't, so i'm DYING

ID: fuck the heat. seriously i traveled out of the desert to just end up in a muggier hot hellpit.

EE: Ugh muggy is even worse EE: So får the heåt here hås been dry, but I know we're in for å night of humidity ånd I dreåd it!!!

ID: it's like being in some giant's sweaty armpit around here. =:I definitely take dry heat any day.

EE: Omg, truuuueeeee

ID: ...fuck why didn't i think of that.

ID: you're a genius, uh.

ID: ...whatever your name is.

EE: Båsill!

ID: basill then. you're a genius.

EE: å genius tråpped in å not-cold-enough office TToTT

ID: complain to the boss about getting a better ac. that's something you can do, right? i've never worked in an office. you are working there. right? and just. slacking off talking to a chatroom?

EE: I åm the boss :'( EE: I'm on my lunch breåk

EE: ånd the åir works fine, but everyone else gets cold ånd complåins

AA: A N D R O U N D O N E B E G I N S.

AA: haha, j/k, they'rne fucking w/ each othern rnight now.

AA: fyi, loserns, name's siparna and i am yrn friendly neighornbornhood brnokern forn tonight! AA: pls place yrn bets now on if you think scrnuffy ass jade is gonna win, orn bighorns mcgee. AA: caegarns, beetles and chip trnansferns arne A L L accepted. >:}

AC: Ø .u. phew, I don't want to miss it Ø

SA: i believe in hadean.

AC: Ø .n. I don't want to bet against Emerel but I feel like it'd be mean to bet against Hadean too Ø

SA: I put all the money in my pocket on Hadean.

SA: which is a large amount, apparently.

SA: I will be seated on a different part of the stands, by the way.

EE: I'm not much of å gåmbling gål

AA: lmfao, phern's not paying attention, maidel. AA: he's too busy seething and wrninging his mitts in the stands. >:P

AA: you can T O T E S bet on whoevern you want.

AA: and wait, prni, wherne arne you sitting?? AA: come sit w/ us!!

AC: Ø .u.! yes! I'm with Sipara Ø

AC: Ø On the sitting with us thing Ø

EE: Go sit with them, it's good to måke friends!

SA: but we're using text to chat anyways...

AC: Ø and pfft. .u. that's true, Sipara, but Emerel might backread and he would never forgive me if I bet against him Ø

AA: and ee, yrn lame and that's fucking ternrnible. AA: wtf's the point of having blue cash if you ain't gonna flash?

AC: Ø bragging rights? .u. Ø

EE: I håve bills to påy :(

AA: and we arneee, prni, but, like. AA: if you sit overn herne, you can sharne ourn F O O D.

SA: ...

SA: okay, i will come.

AA: fuck yrn bills. AA: who needs bills? AA: go sleep in a

SA: wait a moment. I will find you.

AA: Y E S S S

EE: ånd I owe PP å nice lunch bc låst time I took å bet I lost

AC: Ø ouo!!! Ø

SA: here i am. feed e.

SA: love me marginally less.

AP: My money's on the red guy.

AP: Please make him less pretty, red guy.

EE: Shoot, lunch is over :'( EE: Hope the fight goes well

AA: y, y. dnw abt my hearnt level, brnah, we arne thrnowing food into you until we rnaise Y RN S. AA: rned hearnt orn fucking bust. >:}

AA: and aww, ty. AA: it will.

AA: i mean, not forn emernel, lmao.

AA: >:}

VA: Hey

VA: I fŏrgŏT T'say, buT i'm aT The faire righT nŏw

AA: !!!

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

AA: come see the fight!!

VA: ŏk, where ya aT?

AA: we'rne up in the AA: uh, bottom rnow, by the gate. >:}

VA: I'll head ŏver Then

VA: And I'm gŏnna say iT nŏw. VA: I am nŏT wearing a cŏsTume, sŏ yŏu're jusT gŏnna lŏŏk like an ass if yŏu Tell me hŏw "auThenTic" ŏr "rusTic" I lŏŏk

AC: Ø .n. I hope nobody does that! Though...most people are dressed up pretty fancy, hopefully not? Ø

AA: lmfao. AA: y, y, we will rmemebern. you arne always abt that 24/7 cosplay life. >:}

VA: ŏhhh my gŏd

VA: A Tunic dŏesn'T mean cŏsTume

SA: to some people it is.

SA: I don't think anyone will, though, AC.

VA: They're cŏmfy

VA: I Think I see yŏu guys

AP: It depends on who you ask. AP: A tunic is a costume piece, at least.

AP: Maidel, are you here?

AP: A ...very sparkly seadweller bought most of my stock, but I saved you a few things.

AA: n, she's watching the fight, dude, keep up.

AP: I'd like her to answer that, thank you.

AA: lmfao, 'kay, enjoy yrn rnesponse in the next thirnty.

AP: I will.

AA: a~and looks like they'rne actually.. mb.. gonna stop shit-talking and starnt fighting. AA: gee whiz. AA: ... n, false alarnm, still gabbing.

AA: booooooooo.

SS: (Oh em gee, the natterin's the best part, pal!)

SS: (Why you gotta be a killjoy?)

AC: Ø I am! I'm talking to a lot of people though. .u. Ø

AC: Ø but ooh! thank you Ø

AC: Ø ...oh, I think I see Gliese talking to that seadweller Ø

AC: Ø Huh Ø

AA: dude, n, shhhh. AA: say hern name thrnee times and she'll pop out of the ethern to bug us!!

AP: Gliese, Gliese, Gliese.

AA: jokes on you, dude, gotta have hern last name in therne, too. AA: but good trny, herne's a starn forn effornt. https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.13056045.3033/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg

SA: that star makes me angry.

SA: Look at it.

SA: It can't even try itself.

AP: I think that's a good star.

AA: awww. AA: chillax, brnah. AA: let me, like, ftfy.

AA: http://i.imgur.com/cGIay9e.png

AC: Ø I...don't think so, she looks pretty busy with that seadweller. And pffft. Those are some sad stars. Ø

VA: This is jusT awful

SS: (Sipa, negl... http://i.imgur.com/iRDM4n8.png )

AA: oh my god.

AA: O H M Y G O D.

AA: y. amazing. a+. prni will fucking love it.

VA: WhaT dŏes iT say?

SS: ( http://i.imgur.com/I4Ktcaf.jpg )

AA: but also, considern. AA: https://68.media.tumblr.com/8e2668725f5bdbf4a68f95a179462600/tumblr_inline_nxkqgwmYFJ1tn0tli_540.png

AC: Ø these are some rude stars, my goodness Ø

AA: which one, vatty?? >:}

VA: Dŏ nŏT

LL: ( http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/325/925/ca7.png )

AAA: don'tcha see how darnk they arne, maidel? AA: this is what happens when you don't have a pale, dude.

SS: ( https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQTg6TYtpdVKWz85f1ZkRS2TamK5gQDIQPIrh62UQrNgl9Kr_C4 )

VA: And any ŏf The picTures hŏnesTly, I can'T read a single ŏne

AA: yrn language gets | Positively | Drneadful | >:P

AC: Ø ... .u. I have no idea what my not having a pale has to - PFFF Ø

AC: Ø Oh now I get it Ø

AA: >:}}}}}}}}}

AC: Ø Don't worry, Vatrra, they don't say anything important. Ø

AC: Ø Sipara's just being silly. Along with SS. Ø

VA: Sŏunds dangerŏus

AC: Ø the stars can't hurt you, only insult you umu Ø

AC: Ø they're just sad and mean Ø

VA: I meanT Sipara being silly

AC: Ø OH, hahaha Ø

AA: http://cdn2-www.craveonline.com/assets/mandatory/legacy/2013/02/man_file_1042548_3dc.png

AA: >:}

AA: okay, okay, enough starns. AA: we want nemorne, therne's lals fucking head herne.

AA: he's got, like, what...

AA: five horns herne.

AA: that's prnactically enough forn a starn. >:P

SS: (Nah, pal, don't you remember? Last time you checked, I have eight. (\eue/) )

VA: Hŏly shiT

AA: y, well, that's bc i counted beforne i snatched 'em off, duh.

AA: c'merne and i'll snatch the rnest of 'em, too. >:}

AC: Ø but Sipara, we're already about to watch a fight .u. Ø

AC: Ø I'm sure they can make space in the ring for that one later. Ø

SS: (Also, like, I totes can't fight. (\qnq/) It'd up and mess up the face you made me. Too bad, totes sad, mb next time. (\unu/) )

AA: well, shit, i didn't sprnay you w/ sealant, did i?? AA: gdi. >:{

AA: w/e, w/e, we'll fight L A T E RN, obvs.

SS: (Insert obnoxiously unsubtle fist pump at my narrow escape from certain death.)

AC: Ø huzzaaaaaah ouo Ø

AA: help, help, i'm being smotherned by a woolbeast.

VA: Happens sŏmeTimes

AA: >:"{

VA: Cry all yŏu wanT, ThaT's yŏur lŏT in life nŏw

VA: An armchair

AA: wherne the fucks' yrn rnusty solidarnity? herne i am, being, like, supern crnuelly C U L L E D in frnont of yrn verny own gandernbulbs, and yrn like. AA: trnoll darnth vadern. all stoic and shit. THIS IS YOUR LOT IN LIFE. AA: CRY ALL YOU WANT.

AA: well, jsyk, i am fucking weeping. AA: you just can't see it b/c my faces bein' eaten by hairn.

VA: Dŏ yŏu see hŏw much hair I have?

VA: I am nŏT sympaTheTic Tŏ yŏur siTuaTiŏn

VA: AT leasT yŏu have sŏmewhere cŏmfy Tŏ die, ThaT's nŏT sŏ bad righT?

SS: (Nm, I take it back! Pheres can up and help me defeat Sipa, she's clearly no match for us.)

AA: wtf is this trneacherny??

AA: someone narnrnate the fight forn me, i can't see shi.t

AA: shit.

AA: ffs.

SS: (It ain't treachery, it's tactics.)

AC: Ø They haven't come to blows yet but they're both holding out their weapons at each other. Ø

SS: (LOL. I'll be your oculars, pal. (\eue/) )

AC: Ø Probably not long now. Ø

SA: it is very disappointing.

AA: lmfao. AA: y, get the fuck down therne, lal. AA: be my seeing eye trnoll.

SA: I wish they would just get to the quick.

VA: Me Tŏŏ

AA: you and me both, prni.

AA: and v.

AA: wherne's the blood??

AC: Ø In the future. .u. Ø

AA: , , . n .

AC: Ø .M. Ø

AA: ònó

AC: Ø hahaha Ø

AC: Ø that's a great face Ø

AA: i am helping you make yrn emojis GRN8, dude. >:P

VA: -M-

VA: Was ThaT an emŏji

AA: omg, yes.

AA: gj, gj. >:D

AC: Ø that was a great emoji ^m^ Ø

SA: Oh, there they finally go.

SA: a miracle.

AC: Ø Red vs. green, dun dun dunnnn Ø

SA: the battle of ugly christmas colors.

AC: Ø Prisma, oh my god Ø

AC: Ø ...not wrong though .m. Ø

SA: are they not--

SA: see.

AC: Ø I feel _bad_ calling Em an ugly christmas color but .m. Ø

AC: Ø I mean Ø

AA: hey, girnl, don't feel bad forn telling the trnuth. >:}

AC: Ø .m. I mean he's not an ugly christmas color but. it is kind of funny in that context. Ø

AC: Ø ... .n. I hope he doesn't read this and get mad Ø

AC: Ø I mean, I'm green too, I can't really talk Ø

SA: yes but your green is more tolerable.

AC: Ø Em's chrome is nice...I mean, jade is better than olive. but. that's really nice of you to say!...I'm conflicted. .n. Ø

SA: embrace it. who cares what emerel feels about it.

AC: Ø .n. he's my friend Ø

AC: Ø I don't want to upset him Ø

SA: everyone here makes fun of everyone else.

SA: I dont think they will mind.

AC: Ø .n. I try not to though. I always feel bad. Ø

AC: Ø I don't mind if people make fun of me but I always worry about hurting someone. Ø

AA: giiiiiirnl. boy. bb.

AA: em dgaf.

AA: prnomise. >:}

AC: Ø ... .m. how long have you known him Sipara? Ø

AA: dude, have you hearnd phernes talk abt him??

AA: haven't even met him, and i feel like I'M the one quadded to the guy by now. >:P

AC: Ø Sometimes! Ø

AC: Ø Pfffff Ø

AC: Ø he's so tall, I think you'd have to like, get on a stepstool .m. Ø

AC: Ø ...though he's not nearly as tall as Riccin I guess Ø

AC: Ø I don't know _anyone_ as tall as Riccin Ø

AC: Ø ...except for one troll but I'd rather forget she ever existed Ø

AC: Ø So, Riccin Ø

SA: they are too tall.

SA: This is troublesome.

AC: Ø .u.! you know Riccin? Ø

SA: oh, no, but if they are taller than emerel they are too tall.

SA: I meant the fight, also.

AC: Ø Pfff - oooh crap. and Riccin is _much_ taller than Emerel, by...gosh, must be a foot, or almost Ø

AC: Ø and they're yellow! it's surprising Ø

SA: oh, he's bleeding.

SA: oh.

AP: Oh.

AA: welp!

AP: Shit.

SA: good.

SA: i enjoy this turn of events.

AA: L M A O.

AA: wow, didn't think you werne the blood thirnsty kind.

SA: it means Hadean is winning, doesn't it?

SA: surely no one expected this to be clean. that isn't how fights work with sharpened weapons.

AC: Ø ;N; Em Ø

SA: he will be fine. surely there are doctors here.

AC: Ø I saw a yellowblooded one .n. Ø

SA: he could have moved anyways, but he decided to unwisely make an offensive move when it would have been more intelligent to disengage or release the weapon and counter another way.

SA: Unfortunate.

AA: don't lose yrn shit, maidel, we alrndy got one mess on the stands. >:P AA: calm down, he's a mossball, he'll be fine.

AC: Ø ... .n. I guess Ø

SA: you can also look away if you wish, Maidel.

SA: I will give you a play by play.

AA: chilllll. he's obvs a totes bb at this, but eyy. AA: look on the brnight side, he'll be total pity-bait with that sornt of scarn.

AC: Ø I wouldn't. Em is my friend. Ø

SA: You can even hide in my shoulder if that helps.

AA: lmao, oh my god.

AA: prni. prni, if they'rne hiding theirn face, you don't wanna AA: give them AA: no, n/m, go ahead.

SA: emerel is the real winner of the fight emotionally.

AC: Ø .n. Emerel is the winner of first knife wound, more like. Ø

AA: c'moooooon, don't think of that.

AA: think of how much money some suckern made betting on the jade forn firnst chrnome. >:}

AC: Ø .n. wheeeeee Ø

SA: why do people call it chrome...

AA: awww.

SA: why not blood.

AC: Ø ...why didn't he dodge... Ø

AA: bc he's a newbie, duh.

AA: classic rnookie mistake. think yrn tough shit and get a knife to the gut.

AA: happens to, like, half of 'em. >:}

SA: did you make that mistake sipara.

AA: .. and blood's a highblood ternm, dornklornd.

AC: Ø But Em does these fights all the time. Ø

AA: lmfao, y, i totes did. AA: when i was S I X. >:P

SA: oh see that's a much more resonable time frame.

AA: ikrn?

AA: that's when yrn supposed to get all yrn gutwounds overn and done with.

AA: when yve still got yrn entirne pre-adolescent pupation to carnrny it off. >:}

SA: oh right. you all pupated.

SA: hm.

AA: ..........................

SA: regardless, Maidel, i am sure they both knew what they were signing up for.

SA: so just enjoy it.

AA: what, did you grnow in a vat, clonebb?? >:P

SA: shh... the fight.

AA: 😢 AA: 🤐

SA: is he stepping on his hair?

AA: y.

SA: couldn't that break his neck?

AA: naaaaaaaaaaaaah. who the fuck goes into an arnena w/o like, a detachable brnaid??

SS: (Sure, pal, if Hads up and tried real hard-like!)

AA: hads prnobs took a rnazorn to the frnonds just forn that.

SA: someone who is very attached to their hair.

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SS: (Mother grub's saggy chesticles, HAH)

AA: i am in fucking love. AA: soz, lal, you arne eternally rneplaced, that was the wornst fucking thing i have evern hearnd and i fucking love it.

SS: (Best fight ever.)

AC: Ø ...you know, I can't even pretend to be surprised Ø

AC: Ø this is just how this is going Ø

SS: (S'cool, pal, but we're officially on for fightin on accounta: n, fuck you, he's mine.)

AC: Ø I am resigned now Ø

SA: I am greatly beginning to wonder who it was that decided that this was a nonlethal fight and yet allowed a psion with lethal abilities and unblunted weapons to be used.

SA: this is strange, and unnecessary.

SA: it would be like telling a soldier to go easy on a street fighter and yet standing by in horror as the injuries escalate.

AA: is anyone herne hornrnified?? AA: nobody uses blunted weapons in fights, dude. therne's no point to 'em if _someone_ ain't bleedin'. >:P

AA: no one's gonna pay to watch two fuckerns stand arnound in a cornern and hit each othern w/ sticks. AA: it's like, idk, cirncle rnacing. ppl pay forn the opporntunity to see someone get fucked up!

SA: what's the point of bleeding if someone doesn't die.

SA: it's a waste of time amd resources.

AH: to have fun, you goddamn twat

AH: ever heard of that

AH: though I'm fucking let down by Em right now

AA: lmfao. you bet on him?

AH: Lol, no

AH: I didn't know what Hadean's psi was until now, I'm no fool

AA: also, stfu beforne i crnam those twigs you call horns up yrn ass. AA: don't use that language w/ prni. he's fucking delicate.

AH: oh shit, my fucking bad

AH: Lol, big words coming from nubs almighty

AH: did you steal those from a wriggler?

SS: (Shit, pal, s'called 'wait your damn turn'!)

SS: (FIght's ongoing rn, ain't no need to be disrespectful-like.)

SS: (I'm sure there's, like, a proper queue somewhere.)

AA: y. you found me out. gotta steal all my mean jibes frnom the wrnigglerns. AA: i'm just sweet as fucking sugarn w/o it. >:'{

AA: and lmfao. y, rnight.

VA: IT's a gŏŏd fighT, nŏbŏdy is dyin'

AH: I meant your horns, brainless

AH: considering how minuscule they are

SA: oh, yes, because the chat needed another edgy pissbaby.

SA: tell me more about how much of a badass you are, AH.

AH: nah

SS: (LOL) SS: (Super delicate, y.)

AH: you don't deserve stories of my cool stunts

AA: he's got a delicate constitution, brnah.

AA: >:P

VA: SA is cŏŏl

SS: (Hey, pal, I ain't said nothin disagreeable!)

SS: ( (\uwu/) )

VA: I wasn'T direcTing ThaT aT yŏu SS, yŏu're fine

SS: (What? You sayin I ain't cool??)

SS: (Hashtag rude.)

VA: I'll leT yŏu knŏw when I reach a decisiŏn

VA: I'll send yŏu a cerTificaTe even

SS: (That ish better be notarized, pal, or else I ain't gonna know it's legit!)

VA: Yŏu knŏw iT will be

SA: regardless, i mean more to say that fun and practice can be attained with sparring with equal effort exerted and just as much skill gained.

SA: this is borderlining blood sport. it's painful to watch two people hold themselves back for the sake of attrition.

AH: lmao why'd you even come then

AA: y. to the cull matches arne way bettern, tbh.

AA: and pay bettern.

SA: When we sparred on the colonies it was either murder or handicapped practice.

SA: Because Hadean is my friend, and I will be there for him.

AA: but eyyy, therne's totally a benefit to, like, shitshows like this, dude. AA: it takes S K I L L to maim someone w/o just culling them.

VA: I like Th'nŏn-leThal ŏnes beTTer

AA: shit's a goddamn arntfornm.

AH: wow that's the first thing you've said that isn't just blah blah blah

SA: i suppose so Sipara. But i am hard pressed to see this drag on.

AH: fair enough

VA: Sipara has a gŏŏd pŏinT, maiming wiThŏuT culling is a fine line

AA: you need to hide yrn face in someone's shouldern?

SA: It just seems illogical to me. but that is fine.

AA: bc the left one's frnee. >:P

SA: no, it isn't like that.

SA: it doesn't make me sick it just makes me sick.

SA: ?

AA: >:?

VA: yŏu cŏuld Try Tŏ Think ŏf iT as sparring if iT helps

AA: prnotip, dude, squeamishness ain't just puking in the bushes.

VA: I dŏubT eiTher ŏne 's Them will cŏme away frŏm This wiThŏuT learning sŏmeThing

AA: .. also, lbrn herne, it's less funny now that, like, hads is getting hit.

AA: booooooo.

AA: and y, va, i agr

SS: (I mean, I'm up and learnin plenty tonight, vocab-wise.)

SS: ( (\eue/ ))

VA: Likewise

SS: (But, shit, all I ever learned from fightin's that you gotta get 'em down afore they get their fronds on you.) SS: (Idk what the pointa sparrin is when you end up effed up permanent-like if you ever let someone get that close irl proper-like.)

SA: usually violent stabbing and battering isn't part of sparring.

VA: IT can be if yŏu're dedicaTed

SA: dedicated or foolish.

VA: Usually ya have armŏr ŏn if yŏu're gŏing fŏr blŏŏd Thŏugh

VA: Like, armŏr armŏr

#c:basill #c:vatrra #c:prisma #c:sipara #C:gliese #c:laledy #c:canela #event:cascara fair

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