#i dont have any strong Negative feelings for anyone so the last two rows are essentially “can you tell which bosses took multiple tries”

[birthclod]

beat hk recently and was requested to do Obligatory Tier List on bsky so here's mine

[actualbird]

BIRD BIRD BIRD I JUST THOUGHT OF AN AU IDEA ok ok mind reader michael. jeremy is in class one day, thinkin dirty thoughts as per the usual, and he suddenly gets paranoid like we all do when we do that shit and he thinks "if anyone in here is a mind reader, cough if you can hear me." and he. he hears a cough. and jeremy freezes and turns around to face michael mell, this kid he's had a crush on for a while but never talked to, and he thinks "cough if you can hear me," again. (cont)

EDIT: anon is @transtarks!!!! this au baby was created first and foremost in his wonderful brain

oh my GOD!!! wow so im very in love with mind reader!michael. before tackling that hilarious scenario, theres like. so much to explore here

MICHAEL who can READ MINDS. in ur sitch, you imply that he cant talk back into minds, which is just so lonely, i think. he’ll learn pretty early that what he’s got isn’t Normal after many instances of him answering questions that werent asked or him knowing things he shouldnt. his mom needs to sit him down and tell him that they’re a little different. not bad. just different. but that other people dont like this and you have to be quiet about it.

which michael find endlessly unfair. he has to be the quiet one when he has to deal with the constant chatter of minds all around him that never stops? it sucks, but he’s read enough xmen to understand why.

but it is NOISY. his headphones are godsend and music does a lot to help, but those can only go so far in drowning out the noise.

some thoughts are quiet and michael needs to strain to hear the words past the soft murmurs. things like his mom making a grocery list in her head or some kid he passed by on the sidewalk counting red cars as they drove by. mundane things are quiet, but the more emotional they get, the louder they become. happy thoughts are loud thoughts, but so are angry ones and terrified ones.

and it doesnt just equate to sound. to a certain degree, michael can feel thoughts, if they are strong enough. which is pretty much hell on michael’s senses. happy thoughts feel nice, but too much is overwhelming. dont even get him started on negative thoughts. those feel like bile and nails against a chalkboard.

against all odds, michael gets used to it. he finds his own ways to cope with the side effects of being plugged in to everybody else’s mind, but the one thing he couldnt deal with was the loneliness.

constantly, he feels like he’s intruding. while mind reading comes with so many cons, michael sees himself at an unfair advantage concerning everybody else. after all, he knows things about people before they say it. sometimes he knows things about people that they maybe didnt want anybody to know. it’s hard to make friends in that kind of situation.

and it’s really hard not being able to tell anybody at all.

ENTER JEREMY “SEX THOUGHTS IN CLASS” HEERE

oh boy okay so. michael probably knows jeremy. not knows-him-as-a-friend, but he’s heard his mind before. jeremy’s head is…a bit of a mess.

(see, michael has come across a lot of minds in his life. some minds are more organized than others. some are bustling with energy while others a bit more subdued. some are bright and others are so dark michael has to stop himself from crying in public. often, he wonders what his mind looks like, but he cant really trust his mom when she only says nice things because she’s his mom. )

anyway, jeremy’s mind is like being inside a washing machine. things tumbling everywhere. jeremy’s head does not shut up. ever. the kid is always thinking about stuff like “oh, im walking pretty weird, i gotta fix that” or “she’s looking at me. what did i do? is there something on my face? is it my face?” or, and this one pops up a lot it makes michael’s heart hurt, “i wish i wasnt like this”

(so many times, michael almost speaks to jeremy out of nowhere to just. compliment the guy. he’s really not as bad as he thinks himself out to be. jeremy’s head might be self destructing 24/7, but he’s a good person. and he’s cute too WHATEVER. but michael is pretty sure that if he tells jeremy that his hair is nice, jeremy will spiral into paranoia where he’ll think michael is fucking with him. so michael doesnt say anything. he just silently hopes that maybe jeremy gets a day or two where his mind can stop beating himself up over every tiny thing)

michael gets to know jeremy’s anxiety before he gets to know jeremy, and thats mostly because in addition to never shutting up, jeremy’s brain is also very loud. maybe it has something to do with how jeremy is always on edge, but michael doesnt know. what he does know is that jeremy heere, professional anxious teenager, decides to spend this math class just thinking about sex. LOUDLY.

it starts with a stray thought about the porn jeremy watched last night then it spirals into various random fantasies and michael wants to jump out the window. not because any of it is weird!!! but just because this is WAY TOO PERSONAL. michael tries his best to concentrate on parabolas, but jeremy throws up an image of GAHHH!! he tries to concentrate on trisha in the front row who’s got a bad case of song-stuck-in-head, which is the next best thing to real music but then jeremy goddamn heere derails him with LOUD MOANING. (which might??? be his????)

record scratch. jeremy’s head goes eerily quiet. then, very deliberately, he thinks “ if anyone in here is a mind reader, cough if you can hear me.”

it’s RIDICULOUS but it’s also the first time he’s ever been addressed in this way. it’s kind of incredible, and all the “dont tell anybody” momentarily disappears in the face of jeremy “sex thoughts” heere talking to him using his head.

so he coughs. and jeremy turns his head. they make eye contact and michael very deliberately starts coughing.

jeremy’s head is quiet for a tense few seconds

then jeremy thinks, “well fuck”

and thus starts the very awkward beginning of michael and jeremy’s friendship. the possibilities for this are endless but this answer is already too long khfkjdfh