#i dont even know how to draw a naked torso. why am i doing it

[slimeciclecock]

decided to draw today. went back to a sketch of mariana I wanted to clean up bc I liked the face/head part. for some reason I am drawing- his naked torso 🥴

[littlemissnoname13]

Three Days With You - Part Two

Summary: Draco has a rather interesting day planned for the two of you. Joined by familiar faces, old wounds resurface leaving the two of you with more questions than answers.

Warnings: smut,mature language and scenes, drinking, a fair amount of angst, mentions of blood

Word count: 3000

A/n: it’s 4am and I’m sleep deprived. This series is a bit plot heavy as opposed to WOS. I tried so very hard to fit everything under the 3000 word limit I’ve set for each part.

Song that plays as they dance: Fade into you by Mazzy Star

Part one | Masterlist

~~~

Sometime around Umbridge’s reign of terror, 5th year, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

With his arms folded, Draco casually reclined against the wall and he watched you write lines with Umbridge’s quill. He tried to keep a straight face but it was hard not to wince as he watched the words etch themselves onto your skin.

It seemed that Dolores Jane Umbridgde wasn’t really fond of you. In fact, he was certain she despised you just as much as Potter.

This was your third consecutive evening in detention and as a member of the inquisitorial squad, he was tasked with the duty of keeping an eye on you.

And while you did a moderately decent job of keeping a straight face through the searing sensations, he could sense that you were clearly in pain.

“Murtlap essence.” Draco said quietly and you dropped the quill and turned around to look at him. “It should help with the abrasions.”

“Why are you talking to me, Malfoy?”

Draco arched a brow at your question but internally, he too was pondering why he was talking to you.

Nobody talked to you.

You always spent most of your time scribbling furiously into what looked like a diary of some sort. You barely had any friends and most of his so-called friends were very upfront about their disdain for you and your muggleborn heritage.

“Why can’t I talk to you?” He finally asked, walking up to where you were seated.

“Are you asking me or are you asking yourself?” You quipped and went back to writing lines with that wretched quill. You always seemed so unbothered by everything.

A part of his brain was telling him to shut up and another part of his brain was trying to come up with a witty response just to impress you.

“I’m asking you.” He sighed in defeat before crouching down next to you to look at the gashes on your hand. “Why can I not talk to you?”

“Hm, let’s see..” You said with a bit more salt than you intended to. “Your Pure blood ideals that classify people like me as mudbloods, the prejudice, not to mention Umbitch who wouldn’t be very pleased to see you talk to me while I’m writing lines for her.”

His fingertips ghosted over your cuts, barely making contact with the blood as he contemplated running outside to look for some murtlap essence himself.

“Dont.” You winced when his skin made contact with the cuts. “Just don’t. I don’t need your pity.”

His eyes caught sight of yours as you pulled your hand away and he immediately felt uneasy at the sight of them. It was a kind of wistfulness, a type of yearning and nostalgia for something that never was. Something that never could be. And it somehow made him want it even more.

Draco lifted his hand, letting his fingers brush against your cheek and he heard you reflexively draw in a sharp breath.

He found himself leaning in to capture your lips in his but you hesitated.

“It wouldn’t be justifiable if something happened in between us.” You whispered, leaning an inch away from him. “It would be highly inconvenient for you if someone found out.”

“Then I guess, no one must know.” His voice was hoarse before he crashed his lips into yours.

How was he ever going to explain himself if anyone found out? His whole life, he was taught to be repelled by your kind. He was, however, anything but repelled.

He was swallowing all of the little whimpers that you made and he was revelling in the feel of your smooth skin underneath your shirt.

How was he ever going to justify the way he was slowly allowing his fingers to trace your inner thighs before pushing your panties aside to press his finger into your wetness.

Gods, the sounds you were making when he pushed a finger inside of you.

Why were you allowing him to touch you like this?

Hair tousled, shirt unbuttoned with your breasts falling out, legs spread open for him to see. For him to claim.

“Is this okay?” He asked before taking a slow lick up your soaked cunt and you raked your fingers into his hair and gripped hard as you nodded eagerly.

One taste of you and instantaneously forgot everything that was expected of him. It didn’t bother him what type of blood ran through your veins. The way he wanted to kneel and worship your pretty and wet cunt was more sacred than the entire bloody sacred twenty eight.

When he finally lined his hardened erection up against your entrance, he noticed that you had suddenly tensed. Your hesitation was notable in the way you tilted your head and stared at the floor like your life depended on it.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, using his index finger to tilt your face back to him. “Tell me, y/n. Do you want me to stop?”

That was the first time he’d used your given name and saying it made his ears turn hot.

“No—No I don’t want you to stop.” You whispered, still refusing to look at him. “It’s just that—I’ve never..”

How could he have been so dense?

The way you were digging your nails into his arms, your whimpers, and the way you winced when he pushed his fingers inside you should have told him that you were a virgin.

He caressed your cheeks slightly and dipped his head lower to press a kiss onto your forehead before backing away.

He didn’t want your first time to be with someone like him, during Umbridge’s detention of all places with your cuts still bleeding and seeping into the cotton of his white shirt.

“Draco don’t.” You whispered his given name softly and grabbed him by the arm before he had the chance to walk away. “Don’t go.”

“But y/n—”

You pulled him in and pressed your lips on his before he could reason with you.

He had the choice to walk away from you, from all this but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It felt different with you.

He asked you one more time before lining himself up against you. And when you gave him a soft and breathy “yes”, he pushed.

Your walls clenched him in and you tried your best to repress your tearful whimper by biting down on the exposed part of his shoulder.

He made sure to be gentle with you when he made the first few thrusts.

Soon enough, your grip on his arms loosened. Your cries morphed into tiny little gasps and moans of his name and you began to kiss the same place you were previously biting.

And at that very moment he knew you had surrendered yourself to him.

Wholly. Completely. Entirely.

At the particular moment, you belonged to nobody but Draco Lucius Malfoy and he—

~~~

Present day, Pilgrim’s Inn, 9:27 Am

Draco, fixing you both a cup of coffee, stilled and snapped out of the flashback inside his mind when you let out a small grumble in your sleep and reached towards his side of the bed.

He couldn’t help but smile to himself when he noticed the visibly annoyed look on your sleepy face when all you felt were pillows and sheets.

As much he wanted to sit and watch you sleep like a mega creep, it seemed like a good time to wake you up.

~~~

He was still wearing the same trousers and black shirt from the previous night when your eyes fluttered open. Only this morning, the shirt was buttoned halfway, exposing most of his chest and torso. The sleeves had been rolled back and you felt your stomach twist into a knot at the sight of his dark mark.

It served as a constant reminder that you only really had three days with him.

Before you could delve deeper into your thoughts, Draco stood up and walked towards the bed with a ceramic mug filled to the brim with coffee causing your lips to twist into a grateful smile.

“Drink up.” He said as he sat down on the chair next to you. “We have a long day ahead of us.”

After a big gulp of the coffee, you put the mug on the bed side table and looked at him.

“We do?”

“Of course we do.” He motioned towards a turquoise box on top of the dresser, sounding giddy and excited. He almost sounded like the carefree and careless Draco you loved to hate from the first few years at school.

You quickly threw the duvet off your body and scurried towards the dresser; the floorboards of the inn creaked as you did so.

“What’s in the box?” You turned your head back to look at him.

Draco’s cheeks were flushed and he was watching you with darkened eyes. His firm grip on the mug made his knuckles turn pale and you only realized you were standing in front of him naked when you saw the growing bulge in his pants

You ignored your own blood rush to your cheeks while you unwrapped the box to see what he was so excited about.

It was an oxblood red dress, with the softest fabric you’d ever touched. Long flowy sleeves and a plunging neckline, it was strikingly gorgeous.

“A Dress Draco?” You raised a brow at him.

“For our very first date. And for later..” he smirked and you scanned the entire dresser to find an appropriate object to throw at him.

“That’s some way to ask a girl out and must you always think about sex?!” You accused even though you were thinking about it too and reached for a book he’d left on top of the dresser to throw at him.

Before launching the book his way, you paused to examine the book on your hand that read Advanced Potion Making by Libatius Borage. It was only then that you realized that more than half of the books he had in the inn were about potions and alchemy.

How could you have not realised? Potions was the only subject he really seemed to enjoy at school.

Even during the nights you spent together back in school, you’d prop yourself up on his bed, wrap a sheet carelessly around your bare body and watch him stay up late to work on his Potions homework.

You’d always encourage him towards a career in potion making and he’d smile wistfully at the idea before turning to look at the snake and skull tattoo on his forearm. With a vacant look in his otherwise mercurial eyes, he’d remind you that he would have liked that if the circumstances were different.

You dropped the book back on the desk and instantly flung yourself into his arms.

~~~~

When he felt you wrap your arms tightly around his torso, Draco stiffened.

The way you were holding him made it seem like you were already saying your goodbyes and he felt as if someone had repeatedly used the cruciatus curse on him. He couldn’t bring himself to think about his life without you in it.

He wasn’t ready.

Draco quickly sorted out his scrambled thoughts and placed his oculomancy walls up as high as he could.

“As sexy as you are naked, I’d very much like to see that dress on you.”

You slightly sniffled before walking back towards the dresser to slip the dress on. The way you struggled with the zipper was adorable to him and he helped you zip it up with a crooked grin on his face.

Considering the present situation, taking you outside of the inn was risky so he’d taken it upon himself to arrange a perfect little lunch at the inn itself. Complete with vintage wine, a lavish main course and a decadent dessert to top it all off.

Sure, it took another huge wad of muggle cash, and coaxing the owner but the look on your face when he fed you a spoonful of chocolate mousse was worth it.

He was going to be the best fucking boyfriend on the face of this planet even if it was only for three days.

Draco took your hand, kissed you on the knuckle, guided you to the table, pulled your chair out for you and tried his hardest to not stare at your cleavage for more than thirty seconds.

Thank Merlin for all of the etiquette training he had to undergo when he was younger!

~~~

The two of you didn't really get around making much progress on the rest of the items on Draco’s itinerary filled with cliched tripes like reading poetry to each other and slow dancing to a song playing on the vintage turntable in the far corner of the room.

You’d never taken him for a romantic but he was adamant on the idea of finding “your song” from the tracks on the record that was spinning round and round.

When the both of you finally stopped bickering and agreed on a song, he stood up in front of you and offered you his hand.

Fade into you. Strange you never knew…

The chorus went as he took the lead and swayed you slowly across the room, careful not to trip on furniture.

Both of you barely made it to the end of the song and you weren’t even surprised.

~~~

“Gods you really do look beautiful in this dress..” he let out a low growl when he stopped dancing to pin you against the mattress and attach his lips to the pulse point of your neck.

To his utter surprise, you wasted no time in yanking his belt buckle.

“I need you…Draco Lucius Malfoy.” You pleaded as you started to pump his length in your hand. “I need you now.”

Urgency was dripping through every syllable that left your lipstick smudged mouth. Arousal was seeping through the fabric of your panties and Draco was afraid he’d come just by watching you like that.

“Say it again..” he whispered as he attached his mouth to your firm nipple. “Please—y/n, just say my name like that again..”

“Draco…”

With no hesitation or remorse, he pried your legs apart and pushed his cock right where it belonged inside of you. The way your body reacted to the motion drove him insane.

He often questioned his place in the universe, it was a constant battle between light and dark, between right and wrong.

But with you, he always felt like he belonged.

“You’re going to make me come…Draco..”

He buried his face into your hair and continued to fuck you like there was no tomorrow.

It was never like this with anybody else for him. And it was never going to be.

“I love you.” You whispered as you succumbed to your orgasm, heedless of the way your words would affect him.

How could you say those words out loud so often and not care about the consequences that came along with it?

“Don’t be selfish..” He groaned, feeling his own high approaching at the sound of those words. “Don’t you dare…”

“I love you.” You moaned, louder this time. “I love—”

He silenced you with a kiss before you could say it again. The weight of those words were always too much for him. Especially when he knew he had less than seventy two hours with you.

Draco began to think about all those years of childish games and wasted time as strong stinging sensations prickled up on his skin.

First, at the pit of his stomach. Then, on his left forearm.

He’d been called upon.

~~~

“Do not leave this inn. You understand?” He warned as he quickly redressed. “I’ll have someone sent over to look after you.”

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” You protested as you wrapped the sheets around your body and got out of bed. “I don’t need a babysitter,Draco.”

His eyes darkened and his expressions hardened as he heard your words and you gulped when he stormed over to where you stood.

“Listen to me carefully.” He gripped hard onto your shoulders and shook you. “Stay put and only open the door if you hear three knocks.”

It took a second for you to let his words sink in but you slowly nodded.

His cold hands cupped either of your cheeks and his forehead pressed up against yours; desperate and frantic eyes stared back at you.

“I have one more thing on my itinerary for us.” He said, conjuring the best smile he could give you before leaning in to press a slow and soft kiss on your lips. “I’ll be back soon.”

You held onto his words, dressed yourself in one of his sweaters, paced back and forth in the room, made yourself a cup of strong black coffee and even read through his extensive collection of books.

After what seemed like an hour, you heard it. Three very precise knocks on your door.

Very anxiously, you opened the door to find a brunette boy giving you a Cheshire Cat kind of smile.

He casually leaned forward to squeeze you into a bone crushing hug as if you were a long lost family member and you scrunched up your nose, awkwardly hugging back.

“I believe a proper introduction is long overdue.” He said as he let go. “Theodore Nott.”

“I know who you are.” You mumbled as you stepped back to let him in. “I have seen you in class.”

“Great.” He smiled as his eyes danced around the room to look at the books, the coffee pot, the turntable and the remains of what used to be the dress Draco got you.

A bright pink flush swiped across your cheeks as Theo disapprovingly shook his head. “I know you both spent half of the day shagging but please tell me you managed to do at least five activities from the itinerary!”

“How do you know all this?”

“Because I had to unfortunately sit and watch him put the blasted itinerary together.” Theo sighed, as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the coffee pot before reaching for a tiny flask inside his jacket. “Occulumancy aside, Ferret is also rubbish at hiding things from me.”

You let out a snort when you remembered Draco the ferret.

After your laughter simmered down, Theo took a rather cautious step towards you before offering you his flask.

“Nothing happened between him and Pansy that day y/n.”

Your heart started to ache as your mind started recollecting that day. That goddamned day.

“And you’re telling me this now because?”

Theo sat down on the floor and patted the empty space next to him with a sad little smile on his face.

“Closure.”

(To be continued….)

~~~~~~

Part three preview:

The two of you laid peacefully next to each other one top of a picnic blanket he’d conjured, somewhere in the middle of a forest clearing

The stark black sky was littered with a million shimmering stars. Protective wards were in place and the air was saturated with the scent of pine wood and moss.

From across the blanket, Draco reached for your hand and gave it a little squeeze and you turned to your side to get a better view of him—his silver hair giving the moonlight a run for its money.

“Lyrids.” He smiled, pointing his index finger at the sky as meteors started falling from the sky, one after another…

TDWY tag list: @nicofiliac @emma67 @kimberlyxmalfoy @palecaramel @letoof @ameliasbitvh @sycathorn-slush @dr4cking @malfoyswifeyy @arzfia @icedlattewithalmondmilk @alisslahey @lieswithoutfairytales @dracoslittlesunflower @dmalfoyswhore @serpentesonagli @dracomalfoys-wh0re

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Love,

A very sleep deprived and delirious vi

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Moments Of Bliss

Summary- 3.1k Paul Diskant x You. (Street Kings AU) One of Paul’s rare days off, he surprises you in bed with one of your favorite treats. Warnings- Smut. Female receiving oral. 

A/N- this is pure self indulgence for myself because 1. I love the idea of biting on a mans chain, one mans chain specifically. Its just a overall weakness I have, wanna know what its like? Anyone who knows me knows I’m a sucker for Mike’s suspenders, its exactly like that seeing that chain. 2. Paul Diskant doesn't typically get a lot of stories. But I enjoyed him and his story and I aim to give him something better then he got in Street Kings. 

You rolled in bed and was not surprised to find Paul’s spot slowly cooling. Although a glance at your bedside clock showed 7:30 am, which for you was early, it was sufficiently late for Paul. You moaned into your pillow and contemplated going back to sleep for another half hour. It's not like either of you actually had anywhere to go, and you sighed in content as you hugged his pillow to your chest and buried your face into the softness, the house so damn quiet in the morning hours. Typically now Paul would be rushing around the bedroom to gather his badge, wallet and suit jacket before leaning over you to give you a quick kiss before out the door, not wanting to be late.  

Today you could hear the tap tap tap of the bathroom tub, the creak of the floorboard in the kitchen that expanded once in a while and rubbed squeakily. Outside the window, people were starting their cars and rushing to turn down their radios, clearly not the same person as they were the night before with the blasting music. 

You also heard the front door swing open and a soft whistle float through the house. You hid a smile into that pillow and buried further under the comforter as the sound of feet descended the stairs towards the bedroom, and the door creaked open to Paul coming in with a pink bakery box, smirking to himself when he saw you wriggle in bed to get comfortable once more. 

“Y/N, you know you wanna get up.” Paul set the box down at the end of the bed and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, lifting the blanket up so that he could look down at you with your hair all over the pillow, your face buried from the light and a groan spilling from you, muffling your voice into the pillow.

“Paul It’s too early. Leave me alone.” you grumbled, trying to pull away from him to the other side, but his hand was firm on your hip, holding you in place and easing you to turn. 

“I got your favorite.” He tried once more, easing you to your back and you blinked up at him. His grin crooked as he looked down at you and he tilted down to place a teasing kiss on your lips, a slight press of tongue and teeth which tasted sweet, a bit of grit from unmelted sugar on his bottom lip was sure to pass on to you and when he pulled away, the dart of your tongue traced your lip, your eyes narrowing at him. 

“You eating donuts without me Detective?” You contemplate sneaking the blanket over your head before Paul can tempt you further, but he pulls open the box to show the delectable homemade treats. A couple donuts, but the one your eyes fell onto was the plump boston creams that were covered in a thick chocolate ganache coating and filled with the most decadent rich cream. Paul knew they were your forever weakness. 

“Sounds like you are the detective, not me.” He smirks as he waves the box just out of reach and you have to shift to reach in and take your prize. Moving to a sit and plucking out the treat, you grin at him. 

“They can't pay me enough at the precinct to hire me.” You purred as you squeeze the baked treat just a bit and dip your finger in the filling dribbling out. Paul set the box aside and snorted seeing you enjoying the first swipe of your finger through the cream filling. Popping your finger in your mouth, your eyes roll up dramatically as you moan around your finger. “Best thing I've ever had.” 

You can tell by the knowing smirk on his face and the glint in his eyes that immediate dirty thoughts went through his mind as he hovered over you, pressing you back against the pillows while he looked you up and down. You snapped a bite in your breakfast while settling back down. “That's what you said to me last night on your knees baby, so which is better? Me or that Boston Cream?” 

Your eyes drifted from the donut and then back up at him. “It’s up for debate at the moment, this is pretty fucking good.” You hold it up to him to take a bite, which he does. The chocolate smears on his bottom lip, and you tilt your head up to catch his mouth, your tongue rolling in the sweetness to mix with his own natural taste. An intoxicating mix, your teeth nipped eagerly at him which caused an illicit groan to fall from Paul into your mouth. He pressed his hand against the side of your face, wrapping a hand around the back of your neck to tilt you up closer, taking his time to savor you. With a groan he pulls up to a kneel, his arm going over his shoulder to grasp his shirt and shuck it over his head. 

You are taking one last bite of your donut before tossing it back into the box nearby, your eyes skating appreciatively over Paul's naked torso. Years of being on the force before he was made detective kept his body firm. Under your gaze, his muscles flexed and a cocky grin formed on his face. “Liking what you see?” 

You wrap your legs around his slender hips and reach up to wrap your hand in the dangling chain resting against his chest. “Get your ass down here Diskant.” you giggle and he falls over you with a grunt, hands on either side of your head. 

“Yes Ma’am.” he teased while nipping against your lips before traveling down your neck, his hand pushing your sleep tank up over your head so he could keep chaining kisses down your body while grinding his hips into yours. 

Your hands tugged impatiently at his belt while you threw your head back, his mouth wet heat against your breasts as he kept chaining kisses and sucking on the curve of your breast in that way he knew would make you arch into him, asking for more. “Paul, it's your day off.” You whined out, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip as you tried to work his belt open. “Why did you even wear these.” 

Lapping at a nipple and sinking teeth around it, he smirked and pushed your hands away from the buckle. “To make you all impatient Sweetheart...” He flicked the buckle open and pulled himself up to yank his belt out of the loops and held out his hand for yours. You willingly held out your hands so he could wrap the leather to lope around your wrists and tighten. Pulling your hands up to the headboard, he wrapped the other end around and knotted it, restraining you. 

You tested it, pulling on your arms and twisting your hands a moment while he fell back over you, his pendant bouncing cooly off your heated skin while he kissed you breathless, already the ache to rub your hands over his back making you wriggle and tug again at your restraint. “You're playing dirty.” You accuse and he rolls a muscled shoulder with a wink. 

“I know you like it.” His hands ran down your side to stretch your out, sliding down the bed while hooking fingers into your sleep shorts and drawing them down your legs to ditch them over his shoulder. There was just something that made you squirm watching him work his way down your body, the drag of his pendant along the center of your body, hot mouth chasing after it. Wide shoulders spread your thighs apart, the bristles of his chin pressing against your inner thighs. You pressed your feet against the mattress to arch your hips up, an urgent request for him to touch you where you needed him. 

Blue eyes glinted up at you, the tick in his jaw showing his amusement at your still demanding nature, even when he took away your ability to touch. “Where do you want me baby? Here?” He flexed his fingers around your hips while nipping just below your belly button. 

“Paul…” You hummed in warning. 

“Maybe here?” his tongue trailed over the top of your mound, but refusing to go lower yet. “Mmh, I can smell how turned on you are Pretty Girl.” Moving his hands to your thighs, he spread them further, now leaving marks on your quivering inside thighs. You groaned above him, rocking yourself as much as possible. 

“I swear to god Diskant… if you dont-” 

Your words were cut off when he buried his mouth against your center, running his tongue along your folds. Changing your tone from frustrated to excited. Your thighs strained wider for him, his tongue spearing into your channel to make your walls flutter around him and threw your head back when he played with your clit, driving you wild with the suckling tugs against the nerves. “- Yes, just like that.” You moaned, your fingers twisting into the leather belt holding them above your head. Head tipping back while sucking on your bottom lip, eyes closed to just enjoy the feeling of his mouth on you. Flutters rolled through your abdomen the higher he brought you. 

A thick digit pressed into you, grasping heatedly around him as he striked a fingertips against your velvet fluttering walls, slick escaping you that he cleaned enthusiastically. “I think tying you up Pretty Girl really turns you on. You are so wet and wanting.” He added another finger to stretch you, scissoring you open even as hard as you clenched around him while he twisted his wrist, seeking to make you cum for him. “You are clenching so hard, fuck its going to feel good when my cock is buried deep in this sweet pussy.” 

His words made you that much more heated, your belly tightening trying to hold back from coming too soon, but it was all in vain cause as soon as he pressed against the sweet spongy spot deep inside, you cried out, letting Paul know he had it.  

He was relentless, pumping faster till he had you coming all over his hand, those spiraling coils snapping your nerves till you were tugging harder at your hands and tensing to bed your back. “Oh god, oh fuck” You sagged back into the bed and Paul shook his head, sucking on his drenched fingers as he fell in between your hips, the zipper of his slacks biting into your skin while he pulled his fingers out of his mouth with a pop. “Better then anything from that bakery.” 

You opened one eye and licked at your lips to moisten them. “Oh I don’t know. That donut was pretty amazing.” He narrowed his eyes at you while shifting over your body and worked his zipper open and pants to slide down his waist enough to release his erection. Tapping his hand against your thigh to lift them around his hips. You shifted your body underneath him to wrap both legs around his hips and Paul nipped at your lips, sliding his tongue around yours with a forceful claim, groaning in the kiss. You caught a heady taste of your own arousal smeared against his tongue and it made your stomach clench in anticipation. 

“I will be the judge of that Sweetheart.” His hand digging into the round muscle of your ass to tilt you towards him. His cock sliding up and down through your folds, tip pressing just inside of you. Palming a breast, to keep your senses swarming, Paul chained kisses against your jaw. Nipping and huffing against your pulse that made you throw your head to the side so he would keep going, a roll of his hips burying himself thickly into you. Drag of his thick cock, throbbing veins dragging against your swollen walls that had you fluttering around him to stretch for him. “Fuck your just so hot and tight Pretty Girl.” He hissed against you as he started to thrust harder with soft grunts. His body curling over yours, tight, taunt and primed. One hand lifted enough to grab over your hands above him and arched himself up to get leverage for harder deeper strokes pounding into you, your eyes drifted up with fluttering lashes to feel your breath escape your lungs. His shoulders bunched above you, the tendons in his neck prominent as his jaw clenched, eyes screwed shut as he got lost in feeling you take him. Your fingers twisted against the leather belt, nails biting into Paul's palm with an urgency. Just above your face the saint pendant you had purchased him bounced and glistened in the morning light. You felt the urge to feel the bite of the metal between your teeth, heavy on your tongue. Jerking your head up, you grabbed the chain bouncing with a curl of your tongue and drew it between your teeth to bite down. 

Metallic and a touch salty with the taste of Paul’s skin flooded your mouth. It gritted between your teeth unforgiving and relished feeling it clash against your teeth. The sharpness of the chain dug into the back of Paul’s neck, making him grunt at the feeling while dropping down to his elbow at the side of your head, glancing down to see you biting his chain. “Fuck Dahlin’ your so fucking hot.” He sputtered while fisting his hand in your hair, sharply tilting your head back while he sped up, watching you struggle to hold onto his chain and cry out when he hit your g spot. “Thats right Love, fuck- just cum all over my dick. I can feel you want to.” 

You did, your hands tugging at the belt and your body arched into his till he drove it back into the mattress. Clenching around him and whipping your head to the side, Paul hissed against your shoulder and bit down while he sought his own ending, giving dirty grinds with his pelvis. 

Spirals of heat tightened your body, your mouth falling open, his chain falling loose to wetly press between your chests while Paul fell over top of you, heated ribbons of cum spilled into you, both of you sweaty and limp tangled together. 

Your arms shook above you tiredly and all you could feel was Paul's weight pressing down on you, his own breaths still ragged and gasping. Loosening your legs around his waist and sliding a foot against the back of his thighs, you tilted your face into his hair, the soft bristles tickling your nose and lips while you whispered. 

“I'm going to be feeling you for days.” You hummed and he chuckled against your shoulder, planting his elbow against the bed to roll off you a bit and rub at your side. 

“Then I'm going to say I did my job.” 

You rolled your eyes at his cocky response, shaking your arms a bit so the headboard rattled. “Efficiently Diskant, might give you a raise after you untie me.” 

Pulling out of you and pushing himself up to work on the belt, unlooping it from its knot and once it was loose enough, your arms sunk back down to your body, making you groan in relief. He moved to a sit next to you and started rubbing at your upper arms while you worked your wrists back and forth. “I'm just doing my duty Love, no need to pay me. Are your wrists okay?” 

Pushing against him to fall back against the bed, you scramble to straddle him with a smirk, your foot accidentally kicking the box of donuts off the bed long forgotten now. “I would have told you if I needed you to let me go Handsome. Fine, no raise, but I think you're going to like this better anyways.” You start making your way down his body while looking up at him through your lashes and Paul's eyes grew wide. 

“Second thought, I will happily take this anyday.” 

The day wore on with you two taking advantage of Paul’s rare day off, tiredly you both ended up on the couch that evening with take out boxes scattered on the coffee table and the television playing on the ID channel. It had become a game for the two of you to try to guess the killer. Paul’s fingers danced up your back while your head rested on his stomach. “You know it's the neighbor. Only reasonable suspect.” Paul announced and you scoffed. 

“Excuse me? It's the father in law and his new wife. All the signs are there.” 

Paul seemed to contemplate what you were saying and finally huffed out. “Perhaps, I'm still saying ten bucks on the neighbor.” 

“You are on Diskant.” You chuckled against the soft cotton of his shirt. Your arm squeezing around him a bit tighter in an all over content feeling, thinking about your early morning wake up which you were still feeling in your shoulders and upper arms. As if he knew, his touch went to your shoulder, rolling his fingers against your shoulder blades and up to the little knot below your neck. 

You gave a soft moan in satisfaction that made him press down harder, rolling it under his fingertips. “That feels good…” 

“I can tell. Still sore Baby?” He brushed his fingers through your hair and you rolled to your back so you could look up at him, shaking our head. 

“Only the good kind of sore. I swear.” You wiggled your nose up at him playfully and he chuckled. 

“Okay if you say so. Anything I can get you? I'm going to go grab a beer.” He shifted and you pulled yourself up, giving it some serious thought. When he moved to a stand, you nodded. 

“Yea, can you go get our donuts off the bedroom floor? I still have half a boston cream in there.” 

He arched a brow while heading up the stairs, smirking a bit. “Thought you got enough cream earlier baby?” 

You flipped him off while sticking out your tongue before turning back to the tv show. “It wasn't as much as you think.” Causing him to laugh while going up the stairs. You paid attention to the show and sighed when they announced who the killer was. You should have known Paul was going to figure out who actually killed the victim. 

As Paul came back in, dropping the box of donuts on the coffee table and falling down on the couch next to you while unscrewing the top to his Samuel Adams. “You called it, totally the neighbor.” You leaned forward to grab the box and Paul shrugged. 

“Those detective skills finally kicked in Pretty Girl.” 

You flipped open the box top and grabbed your forgotten desert, settling back in your previous spot with your head pillowed on his stomach, resuming the tv program. “Yeah yeah, you just got lucky this time.” 

[sckyie]

song: where were you in the morning? by shawn mendes

word count: 1.2k

genre + warnings: friends to lovers kinda; swearing, established friendship, morning after, suggestive [ no smut ], also DONT HAVE DRUNK SEX.

pronouns used: female insert (she/her)

a/n: first part of the haikyuu song series :)

Your cheek were warm as you entered Sakusa's apartment. If it weren't for the alcohol in both of your systems, he wouldn't let you near him. You held his hand as you followed him into his bedroom. Sakusa closed the door behind you, pinning you against the wall. "I wanna get to know you better," He says. You feel his warm breathe against you before he crashes his lips into yours. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yes," You smiled as he trailed his hand to your back. Both your lips, moving in sync as you made your way to his bed. His hand began to roam your body as you landed on the sheets. "Omi are you sure?"

"Definitely," He says as his mouth connected with your neck.

After the two of you finish, you two laid beside each other on the bed. The room was warm from your heat and all you could do was admire Sakusa beside you. He reached over and combed your hair. "I was drunk when we started but," He sighed. "I'm not anymore."

"You're so pretty," As you were still a little tipsy, you smiled at his touch. "I thought you didn't like germs."

"I hate germs but...something about you, I'm okay with," He smiled. "I trust you."

"Hehe, you like me," You giggled. Sakusa rolled his eyes as he pulls you closer to him. You lay on his chest, drawing shapes on his naked body. "Does this mean we can have breakfast together?"

"Do you want to?" He chuckled at your drowsy proposal.

"Yeah," You yawned. "We can make pancakes, eggs, bacon.."

"Don't get my hopes up," Kiyoomi chuckled. "Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I work every morning," You groaned. "I wish I could stay here forever."

Kiyoomi laughed at your tipsy antics and began to comb your hair with his fingers. The night continued with your pillow talk, mostly making bold statements. Sakusa found your post-sex talk rewarding. He could tell he made you happy and you made him feel over the moon.

"You know I've never felt this- this- amazing with person in so long," You smiled. "Thank you Omi."

"Glad to be the one who made you feel this way," He chuckled.

"Thank you," You say. Your voice began to drift as you slowly fell asleep in his arms.

It was an odd feeling for Kiyoomi. He never let anyone touch him, not even his teammates. Having someone so close and so intimate with him was strange to him. He looks down at your naked body, pulling the blanket to cover you up. "Goodnight," He smiled. He kisses your forehead before falling asleep.

The sun began to rise hours later, the light shining through the blinds. You awaken to see the glistening lights hit your eyes. As your eyes fluttered open, you noticed yourself naked in a different bed. You looked over to see Sakusa's back facing you.

Your cheeks flushed red and you pulled the blanket up to cover your torso. You looked around to find your dress and undergarments on the floor. You quietly slipped out of bed and into the bathroom, grabbing your clothes on the way.

You examine your body, noticing the red marks littered along your chest and sides. You hide your face at the sight before quickly getting dressed. Quietly, you exit the bathroom to see Sakusa still deep asleep. "Sorry Omi," You say. You carefully leave the bedroom to head home.

"Shit, we took an uber home," You realized at the doorstep. "Fuck."

You ended up calling Hinata to pick you up and drop you off. You explained to him your mistake and how you hooked up with Sakusa. Hinata was shocked that he even let you touch him.

While you were on your way home, Sakusa was just waking up to an empty bed. He pinches his nose as he realized that you had left him alone. "She really left?" He grumbled. Sakusa dreaded getting up from bed but proceeded regardless.

As he entered the bathroom, he noticed something on the floor. It must've fell out your jacket because why would you leave your work ID card? He picked it up before turning on the shower.

Sakusa after his shower, he felt a pain on his back. He turned in the mirror to see scratches all over. He grazed the marks with his finger tips, wincing at the sore feeling. "Damn," He muttered. His phone began to ring from his bedside table.

"Hello? Omi-kun?" Atsumu answered.

"What do you want?"

"Oh just wanted to see how you were doing. You and Y/n were very drunk."

"I'm fine, I don't know about her. Thanks for checking in."

"You sound disappointed, everythin' okay?"

"Yeah, she just left me in the morning alone."

"Wait what?!" Atsumu exclaimed. "Did you two-"

"Yes, 'Sumu. We did," Kiyoomi rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"Oh my god- wait she ditched you? Was it bad?"

"No..." He began to think about last night. "It was more than just good actually."

"Oh, damn. Well, what are yer going to do now?"

"I'm going to her work to talk to her, and give back her ID card. I'll see you at practice later."

"Okay Omi! See you soon," Atsumu ends the call, leaving Sakusa to get ready to leave.

You had gotten ready for work after a long shower. You dragged your feet out the house and into your car to drive to work. It was a quiet ride on the way to the office and all you could think of was last night.

It wasn't that you regretted it, last night was amazing. The connection between you and Sakusa grew stronger yet you were too afraid to face him. Once you arrived at your work, you noticed a familar masked figure waiting for you out front. Your cheeks flushed red as you approached the entrance.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, avoiding eye contact.

"This," He flashes your work ID card.

"Oh, thanks," You reach out for the card but he holds it above his head.

"Where were you in the morning?" He asks. "You left me without a warning. Did I do something?"

"I-" You stopped and felt him bring your chin up with his fingers. "I was scared. Even now I am.."

"Why?" He pulled his hand away.

"You never touch anyone and I don't know if you meant what you said last night," You explained. "I was scared that you'd be freaked with me next to you. So if I left first.."

"You didn't have to face me," He finished your sentence. Sakusa hands you your ID card as he pulls off his mask. He brings his face close to yours before speaking. "I meant what I said."

"Oh, I-" You were cut off by Sakusa pressing his lips against yours. "I'm sorry Omi...for leaving."

"Make it up to me later today then," He stands up straight and adjusted his mask. "After practice, come to my apartment again. You owe me a meal."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana

[2dtacokit-blog]

Me and fucking mirrors. I stare a lot in them and what i see usually makes very little sense. I dunno if its dissociation or dysphoria but it’s like i can see what is there and then... it shifts. I can hardly focus on any element of my appearance without trying to convince myself something else is there. I forget what i look like a lot, that is dissociation, but since dysphoria has been kicking my ass it has gotten worse. That is, unless I dress or work to transform myself into something my brain is prepared to take in/translate? If I stand in the mirror naked or in my pyjamas, without binding or making an effort to do my usual masc things, my eyes feel like they go weird. Kinda like a lens that is out of focus. We can see what is there but it doesnt compute with my brain. No amount of changing pose, hiding body parts, or whatever helps, it’s like my brain wipes what the mirror shows from my memory. So i just... stare at the mirror for ages. Zoning out over and over until i end up usually close to angry tears or wanting to hide.

Before I started trying to present masc, I would have the same issue but I didnt question my gender, just... hated the parts of my body that marked my gender. I would do my best to amplify those parts, look as femme as possible but I had the same issue... brain fuzz, discomfort, some kinda irritating thing that was going “well none of this is right”. So i assumed it was weight. Weight, scarring, stretchmarks, age, evidence of pregnancy. I grew obsessed with my weight and would switch between starving myself, binging when i felt i was gonna pass out, working out and denying myself any food after. At times i had to have encouragement to finish eating because inside a voice was screaming that I was gonna get fat again. I have barely spoken about this as it is ongoing and i am sick of having problems tbh. As I lost weight, i still had this “it’s not right” but it wasnt that i was fat. Staring at the mirror again like WTF, why is this body that is... not fat, not big at all really, quite small to be honest still making me distressed?!. I was the smallest I had been since my early teens and I was still unable to see my body? despite seeing it.

Is it the shape of the belly then? loathe it, so lets try and get it as flat as possible. As I got close to that milestone I loved how it felt when i closed my eyes but... Looking in the mirror again it was still wrong. Gender started coming in here, belly fat and the stretchmarks on my stomach since my pregancy I couldnt dissociate from my born gender, or the trauma associated. If i cover my body up in a tshirt then i can deal with it just about, until i look in the mirror and its like I have a ramp going from my neck just to nowhere, and my tshirts just hang straight off.The shape was wrong, and I could never get it right. I tried wearing tight fitted clothes for ages but that niggling, itchy, nettle stinging voice was saying it was still hideous and we hated it. If i saw this exact body on paper (why i draw it) I dont hate it or feel repulsed at all. If i see this body on another person i am not repulsed either. It is just on myself. On myself, in photos and in the mirror. So I tried sports bras, and my body had a sillohette of an attractive woman, the figure i thought i wanted all my life and yet it is still not fucking right is it?!

The presence of my breasts made me feel fat, even if they were hoisted high, presented neatly in a balcony bra or squished with a sports bra. I felt fat, and somehow that made me feel more female. Which for a long time i hadnt realised was kinda the problem. I associate weight in chest, hips, ass, thighs and tummy with femininity, all things i dont mind in anyone else but loathe in myself bcz my body should not be that. My body is curvy. Even as i lost a tonne of weight and work out 4 times a weak focussing almost entirely on weight training and heavy lifting, it is still curvy and that makes me feel very female. Which makes me feel very sad.

But it all gets confusing when i am standing there in the mirror, in a binder and masc clothes, face also done to look a lil more masc and what i feel then is sadness and rage. Mainly because i look like a nothing? I dont look like a guy, I do not look like a girl in that state so i look nothing. And that creates more distress. I try hard to dress to exaggerate my masc parts of my body (shoulders and back, legs), but my torso fucks it all up. That and my face because in all my trawling through the internet i havent found a guy that looks like me, mainly because i look like a hecking girl. But then again I dont look like a girl. I know this because I try from time to time to present as a girl in private because the frustration of looking like a nothing is too much and i feel i should be able to just, wear a bra and be okay again.

Bullshit. I stand in a bra in the mirror, wearing my girliest underwear and i want to vomit because i cant see my body again, even though i am staring intensely at it in the mirror. I dont look like any girl i know when i look in the mirror and i can feel my eyes trying to adjust parts to masc appearance. I look like a miserable, sad weird looking guyish thing trying to be a girl - which could be validating for my dysphoria in the sense it kinda goes HERE IS THE THING, but its agony, because i know when i take that girly stuff off and put the binder and masc stuff on, I see a stupid girl trying to be a guy. By this point i am fighting SI urges because i cannot think straight. I simultaneously look too big because of the presence of my fatty femme parts, and look too small because despite all my hard work building muscle is hard. I am somehow seeing myself in that mirror as a fat, gross girl and a skinny, imasculine guy.

I take tonnes of pictures because i try to get a glimpse of the person I saw in a shop window reflection that made me feel like i was rushing. I spend ages trying to pose to feel more masculine, but get the balance right because i cant go full guy, because nothing says “you are just a girl trying to be a guy” than being a girly bodied and faced person trying their hardest to look like a guy. That and I know those photos i cannot show anyone i really know except a few close friends. Like i can feel myself trying to go all the way guyish and then pulling back a bit out of fear and self hatred. My best days though are when I feel like i pass great and people are receptive of it, but those times are fleeting, because every night without fail the battle with the mirror continues and i am lying in bed, stoned out of my mind, ploughing through all my photos and pulling them apart.

Comparing them to actual guys and going “lol you are a complete joke, look at yourself, can you actually comprehend how stupid you look in all of these? quit this you tool.”. Then comparing them to girls and going “i dont look like them either but i also do? I dont want to look like them, they are beautiful but i dont want to look like them.”. Final round in my persecution, i return to the pictures of men who share similar qualities to me, and my drawings, and before i pass out go “you will never look like this, you are a fool for thinking it. Even if you did transition you would never look like this. This is not possible for you. It never will be. You dont deserve those pronouns, and you dont deserve the other ones. You do not exist, you cannot exist, you are so unbelievably pathetic, continually transferring onto fictional characters, dreaming you could look like them. It’s hysterical almost that you try this hard when you know it is impossible, That you are who you are, and who you are does not exist in any sodding form, because the one you want you cannot have, and the one you exist in is so wrong you can never fully see it anyway.”.

Just had to get that out of my system. Feels are high today, and struggling a bit. The double whammy of DID and gender dysphoria is making it very difficult to stay... in this realm of reality? bcz my brain keeps dissociating from it and doing literally everything in its power to detatch myself from my body and the reality where I am this weird freak thing. Like high school and primary school, and like almost all my trauma. Sorry for this BS rant.