#i dont care im so impatient
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ghosthoodie · 2 years ago
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[AGENT GEAR OVERVIEW. MISSION #51DE-0RD3R]
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zymstarz · 5 months ago
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
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#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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apocalypticdemon · 3 months ago
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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sleeping-at-sea · 1 month ago
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The urges to cut my hair are INSANE
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lemongogo · 2 years ago
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fighting the urge 2 just post wips and neve actually finish anything
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enniewritesathing · 1 year ago
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stars-in-our-skies · 2 years ago
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teary eyes (pretty bones)
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as-the-jay-flies · 1 year ago
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On the third day of pride month, the Gender™ gave to me: my first dose of injected T!
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nerdie-faerie · 1 year ago
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Pie time 🥧
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boyfriendkissr · 2 years ago
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where is everyone watching the new season?? i had a link to a google drive but only got 3 episodes in before it got cleared :(
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landofgay · 2 years ago
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what else do you do with money you didn't want except spend it on stupid shit
#i lent my mom money under the impression i wasnt getting it back (i didnt want to send it and i didnt want it back)#and she decided to send me back my money in full plus some for my birthday and christmas#and she does this. on HER birthday. so like the ultimate guilt except shes not even trying to make me feel guilty#i just feel like shit about it now and dont want it#and all the surprise money ive gotten in the last bit is/has gone to savings or helping my bf with his expenses#so i decided to spend this on something for ME#so i got the nintendo online game tickets so i coukd buy lets go eevee and preorder tears of the kingdom#and then decided to order myself a switch lite cause tbh??? i dont need a proper switch#i never use it in docked mode the joycons popping off just annoy me#if i REALLY wanna use it in docked mode for something my bf has an OLED switch#and my cool work friends really want a switch so im gonna sell them the switch the dock my old case (ill miss you cool zelda case...)#and possibly my copy of Minecraft cause i literally never use ut#for like idk. $50?#i dont care about getting paid properly for it theyre just very nice people and i know theyre quite broke usually#why not give them a gaming device and a game i know they like#plus now ill have a sexy new purple/blue switch lite#every time i hold my bfs switch lite its like ah. yes. this is what ive wanted this whole time#i was gonna get one originally but it wasnt gonna be out for a couple more months and i was impatient!!!
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soulofamy · 7 months ago
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#misc#venting in the tags#my own impatience frustrates me so much honestly#like i want to do cool things like animate or write whole novels based on my original ideas or even get fanfics out for people to read#but the pace it takes in order for me to get there makes me so tempted to just give up#like i know that realistically if i wanted to animate i would need to have character charts and i would need to#have some test animation exercises in order to get the hang of the animation software and all that like theres a very logical process#but my brain doesnt want to do all that build up or go through the correct sequence of events it just wants to jump to the 'cool stuff'#and like it makes my motivation to do the things that i love so low because my brain isnt feeling the immediate gratification of#having the thing that i am making finished and ready for people to see#like i am sitting here literally just trying to finish up the amy character sheet and my brain is like 'maybe you should just give up' and#'no one cares about the character sheets or the test animation exercises'#i truly dont know how to cling onto motivation while being this impatient#i wish i wasnt impatient like this i wish i knew how to work up to big achievements instead of go for whatever is instantly gratifying#to be clear i am not giving up (yet) i am going to keep pushing through until i get to the part i really want to do#because if i dont make a soulcalibur animation then no one else will#but like jesus does doing the nongratifying parts make me feel like garbage and like im wasting my time
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artificer-real · 8 months ago
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Sighhhhhh
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youdothetalking · 1 year ago
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looking through my art tag is a form of torture. i used to brag about how i never did a sketch layer before drawing but now that im looking at those drawings again.... girl i think i needed to
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reserwrekt · 1 year ago
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I'm being perceived x.x
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comet-forgot-you · 17 days ago
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extra
ani x reader
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summary: your first time at a club and ani approaches you.
warnings: smut. 18+ pls. thigh riding, ani’s all big and bad until she wants to cum, bottom!ani, sex work, idk if theres more
a/n: had a request for anora a while back and i was waiting to watch the movie before i wrote anything for her bc i dont know anything about her but im getting impatient sooo
loud music, flashing lights, smoke. your first time actually being in a club and you didnt really know how to feel about it. your eyes raked over the crowded room, fingers wrapped around a cold glass you brought to your lips every few minutes.
“you ever been here before?” you turn your head to the voice, your eyes landing on the dark haired girl you had been eyeing for the past hour.
“no, first time,” you answer, bringing your drink to your lips. she smiles and your eyes fall to her lips.
“im ani,” she introduces, “its bit crowded in here, lets get a private room.” you let out a huff of air, lips pulling up into a smile as your eyes return to the large room.
“trying to get me to buy some time with you?” you ask and ani scoots closer to you, fingers toying at your shoulder.
“maybe i am. youre attractive, well worth my time,” her fingers trail up your neck before cupping your jaw, turning your head to look at her. “what do you say? am i worth your money?” you smile, leaning in closer to her.
“yeah, i think you’re worth my money.”
before you know it, the two of you are alone, her in your lap, dragging her lips up and down your neck. your hands find her hips, hers find your wrists, tugging them away. “no touching,” she whispers, voice seductive as she grinds against your lap.
you smile, holding your hands up innocently before putting them behind your head. “yes maam,” you whisper. a smile painting her lips as she leans in closer to you, lips nearly touching.
“good girl,” she whispers. your cheeks heat at the words, the way she says them, fuck. ani grinds against your lap, hips moving seductively against you. it takes all your power not to grab her hips and grind her against your thigh.
“youre so pretty,” you whisper, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. she felt so good grinding against you, you selfishly want more. “doin’ so good,” you mumble.
“dont talk to me like that,” she groans, cunt grinding lightly over your thigh.
“like what?” you push.
“like you want to fuck me.”
“maybe i do,” you lean closer, leg bouncing slightly as she grinds against you. “maybe i just want to guide you on my thigh, make you feel good,” you whisper. this is definitely not what youre supposed to do during a private sessiom, but neither of you could care less.
“mm, itll be extra,” she teases, bringing her hands up to cup your face.
“i dont mind paying more,” you mumble and ani smiles.
“good.” her hands find your wrists, tugging them to her hips. “then show me what you want.”
you drag her down against your thigh, flexing it to give her added pleasure. even through the many layers of fabric, you swear you can feel her cunt throb. “so fucking pretty, ani,” you mumble, scraping your teeth against her neck. you know better than to leave marks, her appearance is her work, you know better.
“god, bet you’d give me your whole wallet just to get me in your own bed,” she mumbles, her accent thick as her hips roll against you.
“maybe, depends on how this ends,” you mumble. ani lets out a shaky breath as you grind her down against your thigh a little stronger than the last.
“fuck,” she whines. “just keep going, fuck, please.”
“what happened to your little attitude? that little tough act, all for the money one?”
“shut up,” she spits, her orgasm slowly approaching.
you bounce your leg and ani’s head falls back slightly. “whatever you say,” you mumble.
“no, fuck, just keep talking to me.” you smile.
“and why would i do that? you just told me to shut up, didnt you? make up your mind,” you tsk at her, picking up your pace. “you look so good grinding on my thigh, ani,” you whisper. “bet you’d look better with my fingers inside you,” she whines,
she buries her face in your neck, lips pressing gently against your pulse point. your jaw clenches, eyes closing tightly as you try to gather yourself. you swallow thickly, “bet you’d look so good spread open f’me.”
“fuck, im so close, please,” she whines.
“yeah? gonna cum for me? gonna make a mess on my thigh?” she nods against your neck and you smile, keeping a quick pace against your thigh. “go on then, cum for me.”
and she does, her teeth digging into your shoulder as she does. desperate, breathy moans muffled into you. “yeah, good job, did so good for me,” you mumble, slowing her against your thigh.
you give her a few minutes to come down before asking, “how much to take you back to my place right now?”
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