#i dont care im so impatient
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[AGENT GEAR OVERVIEW. MISSION #51DE-0RD3R]
#IM MAKING SILLY HC CONCEPTS THAT WILL PROBABLY BE DISPROVEN WHEN IT COMES OUT💔#i dont care im so impatient#my art#kait(8)#caroline(4)#side order#splatoon 3 dlc#splatoon#agent 8#agent 4#concept art#splatoon oc#digital art#sketch#artists on tumblr#1k
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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The urges to cut my hair are INSANE
#hair holds memories#I DONT CARE#I DONT WANT THESE FUCKING MEMORIES#I NEED TO FORGET EVERYTHING#LITTLTERALLY I HAVNT CUT MY HAIR SINCE LIKE#FEBRUARY??#MARCH??#IM GOING INSANE I CANT KEEP THIS UP#i'm trying to grow it out for a very specific style i want#but i'm too impatient and like#i need a lobotomy#I NEED SOMETHING#summer fucked me up chat i'm sorry#i'm so fucking SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS#cherry crush#cherry crush webtoon#webtoon#cherie#cherie cherry crush#omori#omori basil#sighs#omori game
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fighting the urge 2 just post wips and neve actually finish anything
#im drawing elendira guys im drawing ELENDIRAAAAA#ive always envisioned her w blonde hair but idkk.. drawing it white here#not bc of stamp.she cant hurt us here❤️#NOO BUT SHES SOOO ❤️❤️#im drawing her in her casual clothes..also ch 44 teehee#i dont think i have it in me to evee do fr illustrations#like the ww gutz pic i worked on over the span of a few days like. work on it.put it away. come back the next day whatever#but im so impatient for that man.im addicted 2 drawing something in one sitting and throwing it out#but i dont draw FAST!!!so my coloring ends uplike patchy#but (3rd but in a row) i actually rly like the look of that so i dont care fr HELPPP
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#lowkey wanna delete those discussion posts because it feels like im presenting but no one's in the room#or if they are they're staring at me#the silence is incredibly awkward and i just wanna leave because it's so mortifying#hate that i dropped some bombshells in the story and there was like... very little reaction#or reactions during the whole update#so its like well shit what am i doing wrong#it doesn't make sense because the polls i made concerning the story got more of a response -- 16 people!!#maybe ppl like pushing button#i would just like some feedback or something; is that too much to ask for#yes i KNOW i shouldn't expect etc etc etc but come on#i dont think anyone's in the history of ever has come to my inbox about something story related or eagerly awaiting#anon is *extremely* on#or offering some perspective/picking up the proverbial bread crumbs/guessing on a future thing#i care a lot obviously#obviously everything's for me but on the other hand yknow *vague gesture*#it just feels like im just forcing it with all of the tzrs and everything and im *sure* it's annoying to someone#so idk man#it sucks that i wanna talk about shit but it feels like 'well anyway'#and maybe i am just too harsh on myself and maybe a little impatient and my expectations are too high for myself#i am having a bad brain time and i wish i can dunk this bitch into some water and scrub it#dw i'll be fine but it's just something that i noticed#vent post
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teary eyes (pretty bones)
#tw scopophobia#vent art#actually bpd#traumacore#<- meh i dont like using this one but if the shoe fits [shrug]#yeah im listening to that same song again#it's my comfort song ok i cry to it#hey sad ppl. go listen to that song and cry. shit is cathartic fr#the day i stop quoting those lyrics is the day you know ive healed. but not today!#anyway this one is kinda like. i was always looked at and watched bc i was a crybaby.#but the thing is. when you cry so much people get used to it. it's like they get tired of hearing you#thats kinda the sad truth but i never got comfort from my peers. only a few adults. and most adults didnt give a shit anyway#even now as an adult theyre even more impatient#they know that youre crying but they dont care why
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On the third day of pride month, the Gender™ gave to me: my first dose of injected T!
#took my first T shot today!!#ive been on daily gel for a couple months but switched to weekly shots for a few reasons#such as: difficulty getting it refilled before packets run out‚ adhd making daily routine Hard (weekly will likely be more consistent)#and thirdly.#gel being a slower acting microdose and im Impatient#im so glad i dont have a needle phobia cause im so excited to do shots regularly#i fucked up the intake draw so my first shot had a bit less than prescribed but. practice makes perfect and all that#my only concern now is whether i should take my t every week like i was told… or if i should do it every other week so i can stockpile#cause. i live in a red state. one that has passed a care ban for minors. and im an adult but. we all know they wont stop at the kids#so. i have a week to decide on it#jay.txt
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Pie time 🥧
#ace tries cooking#shes ugly as hell <3 but i dont even care its food and im hungry#its nearly 11pm because thats the level of procrastination im at atm but i can finally eat the pie i made after the pastry took forever to#be done and i got impatient and turned the oven to max for last quarter or so of an hour and our oven doesnt have any labels#so i dont even know how hot that is#but ya girl got no money and needed to cook so had to use what she still had in the flat cus no groceries until i get paid since i paid#for summer rent i just cant afford it so i made a lil chicken pie with the last two chicken thighs i had some carrots and onions all from#the freezer with some potatoes and gravy and made some garlic and thyme shortcrust pastry instead of buying puff pastry like i usually do#for pies and i always got butter and flour so why the fck not make my own pastry? gotta stop being so lazy now i got leftovers for the week#even if my gravy betrayed me and pooled out onto my pastry in two places smh
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where is everyone watching the new season?? i had a link to a google drive but only got 3 episodes in before it got cleared :(
#total drama#total drama 2023#yes i have been reblogging spoilers i dont care i love what ive seen so far and im also impatient
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what else do you do with money you didn't want except spend it on stupid shit
#i lent my mom money under the impression i wasnt getting it back (i didnt want to send it and i didnt want it back)#and she decided to send me back my money in full plus some for my birthday and christmas#and she does this. on HER birthday. so like the ultimate guilt except shes not even trying to make me feel guilty#i just feel like shit about it now and dont want it#and all the surprise money ive gotten in the last bit is/has gone to savings or helping my bf with his expenses#so i decided to spend this on something for ME#so i got the nintendo online game tickets so i coukd buy lets go eevee and preorder tears of the kingdom#and then decided to order myself a switch lite cause tbh??? i dont need a proper switch#i never use it in docked mode the joycons popping off just annoy me#if i REALLY wanna use it in docked mode for something my bf has an OLED switch#and my cool work friends really want a switch so im gonna sell them the switch the dock my old case (ill miss you cool zelda case...)#and possibly my copy of Minecraft cause i literally never use ut#for like idk. $50?#i dont care about getting paid properly for it theyre just very nice people and i know theyre quite broke usually#why not give them a gaming device and a game i know they like#plus now ill have a sexy new purple/blue switch lite#every time i hold my bfs switch lite its like ah. yes. this is what ive wanted this whole time#i was gonna get one originally but it wasnt gonna be out for a couple more months and i was impatient!!!
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#misc#venting in the tags#my own impatience frustrates me so much honestly#like i want to do cool things like animate or write whole novels based on my original ideas or even get fanfics out for people to read#but the pace it takes in order for me to get there makes me so tempted to just give up#like i know that realistically if i wanted to animate i would need to have character charts and i would need to#have some test animation exercises in order to get the hang of the animation software and all that like theres a very logical process#but my brain doesnt want to do all that build up or go through the correct sequence of events it just wants to jump to the 'cool stuff'#and like it makes my motivation to do the things that i love so low because my brain isnt feeling the immediate gratification of#having the thing that i am making finished and ready for people to see#like i am sitting here literally just trying to finish up the amy character sheet and my brain is like 'maybe you should just give up' and#'no one cares about the character sheets or the test animation exercises'#i truly dont know how to cling onto motivation while being this impatient#i wish i wasnt impatient like this i wish i knew how to work up to big achievements instead of go for whatever is instantly gratifying#to be clear i am not giving up (yet) i am going to keep pushing through until i get to the part i really want to do#because if i dont make a soulcalibur animation then no one else will#but like jesus does doing the nongratifying parts make me feel like garbage and like im wasting my time
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Sighhhhhh
#vent#im tired#in many ways#idk i just#i dont get the point#theres only 2 reasons im still around#one my only reliable plans would take a lot of work#and two; pure stubbornness.#but...#i wont remember this life#when i die i wont be here to care about the sorrows OR the joys#im impatient#why not just get it over with?#...#various past me's are all very instant that i wait it out.#i dont remember why.#But its not like i have the energy to go through with it anyway.#so i guess ill live another while
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looking through my art tag is a form of torture. i used to brag about how i never did a sketch layer before drawing but now that im looking at those drawings again.... girl i think i needed to
#chatter#i still dont sketch thats so boring#im too impatient#i sketched for my modern au narusasu drswings#i posted the sasuke and nobody cared so i took it down Rip#but i generally dont need to#i also dont practise or do studies but thats moreso bcos of my skill and not my lack of patience#i kind of dont feel like its important for me to study anatomy if i know what it looks like#i can just visualize it and then draw idk.
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I'm being perceived x.x
#at least im correct lol#be patient with people with speech difficulties#my gf is a partially nonverbal. seeing so many people be fucking rude to her kills me#she takes a moment to answer especially when prompted to answer something unexpected#example: hearing the pharmacist get impatient and start rushing her and huffing and puffing while shes thinking#people in health care services are ironically some of the worst offenders#i also had to see people be mean towards my step brother who has pretty severe turrets syndrome that doesn't look spelled right#but you know#if he's ticking or stuttering people almost always responded angrily at him like wtf why are you so mad#you forreal dont have a few seconds to spare? you probably pull out in front of traffic when theres plenty of space behind the last car huh
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extra
ani x reader
summary: your first time at a club and ani approaches you.
warnings: smut. 18+ pls. thigh riding, ani’s all big and bad until she wants to cum, bottom!ani, sex work, idk if theres more
a/n: had a request for anora a while back and i was waiting to watch the movie before i wrote anything for her bc i dont know anything about her but im getting impatient sooo
loud music, flashing lights, smoke. your first time actually being in a club and you didnt really know how to feel about it. your eyes raked over the crowded room, fingers wrapped around a cold glass you brought to your lips every few minutes.
“you ever been here before?” you turn your head to the voice, your eyes landing on the dark haired girl you had been eyeing for the past hour.
“no, first time,” you answer, bringing your drink to your lips. she smiles and your eyes fall to her lips.
“im ani,” she introduces, “its bit crowded in here, lets get a private room.” you let out a huff of air, lips pulling up into a smile as your eyes return to the large room.
“trying to get me to buy some time with you?” you ask and ani scoots closer to you, fingers toying at your shoulder.
“maybe i am. youre attractive, well worth my time,” her fingers trail up your neck before cupping your jaw, turning your head to look at her. “what do you say? am i worth your money?” you smile, leaning in closer to her.
“yeah, i think you’re worth my money.”
before you know it, the two of you are alone, her in your lap, dragging her lips up and down your neck. your hands find her hips, hers find your wrists, tugging them away. “no touching,” she whispers, voice seductive as she grinds against your lap.
you smile, holding your hands up innocently before putting them behind your head. “yes maam,” you whisper. a smile painting her lips as she leans in closer to you, lips nearly touching.
“good girl,” she whispers. your cheeks heat at the words, the way she says them, fuck. ani grinds against your lap, hips moving seductively against you. it takes all your power not to grab her hips and grind her against your thigh.
“youre so pretty,” you whisper, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. she felt so good grinding against you, you selfishly want more. “doin’ so good,” you mumble.
“dont talk to me like that,” she groans, cunt grinding lightly over your thigh.
“like what?” you push.
“like you want to fuck me.”
“maybe i do,” you lean closer, leg bouncing slightly as she grinds against you. “maybe i just want to guide you on my thigh, make you feel good,” you whisper. this is definitely not what youre supposed to do during a private sessiom, but neither of you could care less.
“mm, itll be extra,” she teases, bringing her hands up to cup your face.
“i dont mind paying more,” you mumble and ani smiles.
“good.” her hands find your wrists, tugging them to her hips. “then show me what you want.”
you drag her down against your thigh, flexing it to give her added pleasure. even through the many layers of fabric, you swear you can feel her cunt throb. “so fucking pretty, ani,” you mumble, scraping your teeth against her neck. you know better than to leave marks, her appearance is her work, you know better.
“god, bet you’d give me your whole wallet just to get me in your own bed,” she mumbles, her accent thick as her hips roll against you.
“maybe, depends on how this ends,” you mumble. ani lets out a shaky breath as you grind her down against your thigh a little stronger than the last.
“fuck,” she whines. “just keep going, fuck, please.”
“what happened to your little attitude? that little tough act, all for the money one?”
“shut up,” she spits, her orgasm slowly approaching.
you bounce your leg and ani’s head falls back slightly. “whatever you say,” you mumble.
“no, fuck, just keep talking to me.” you smile.
“and why would i do that? you just told me to shut up, didnt you? make up your mind,” you tsk at her, picking up your pace. “you look so good grinding on my thigh, ani,” you whisper. “bet you’d look better with my fingers inside you,” she whines,
she buries her face in your neck, lips pressing gently against your pulse point. your jaw clenches, eyes closing tightly as you try to gather yourself. you swallow thickly, “bet you’d look so good spread open f’me.”
“fuck, im so close, please,” she whines.
“yeah? gonna cum for me? gonna make a mess on my thigh?” she nods against your neck and you smile, keeping a quick pace against your thigh. “go on then, cum for me.”
and she does, her teeth digging into your shoulder as she does. desperate, breathy moans muffled into you. “yeah, good job, did so good for me,” you mumble, slowing her against your thigh.
you give her a few minutes to come down before asking, “how much to take you back to my place right now?”
#mikey madison#wlw smut#mikey madison x reader#anora#anora (2024)#ani anora#ani x reader#anora x reader#anora smut#ani smut#smut
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