#i dont appreciate internet friends enough

[niallthebadboi]

Gotta take some time to appreciate the best person I've ever met on the internet @justmeinatree she come into my life at a time when I really needed someone and she's the best human on the planet and I hope our friendship lasts a very long time❤️

no one supports you like an internet friend you never met

[hajihiko]

can i take a guess and say xion + either riku or aqua were your faves,,, (not the same anon)

Actually Xigbar of all people was my fave. Preteen me loved that old fart. When I played KH1 I was kinda like, too young to conceptualize stuff as much?? I think the orange girl (selphie I had to google it lol) from the islands was my fave lol because I thought she was pretty ♡

[babymorte]

i noticed i hit 12k followers n i wanted to thank you all for just being some of the dopest people on the internet and hanging out with me and just all the positivity you bring me just by being here (that sounds a lot more vain than intended but i hope you understand what im trying to say)

ive been going through a lot lately and im just so appreciative for everyone who reaches out and checks up on me and tags me in things like you really don’t know how much yall mean to me n i do consider the lot of you my lil phone friends. you’ve all made 2024 worth it because no matter what im going through i know i always have you guys and i genuinely love interacting with everyone even though im trash at it.

i don’t know im sorry for like being sappy but emotions are chaotic and yall humble the fuck out of me but also make me feel like i mean something more than just a flesh suit on the internet. thank you for always giving me love on my posts and sharing my photos and just being super supportive and always so kind to me. i know i say this all the time but truly it does mean the world to me just to be seen heard and validated and i know i know it’s corny and likes and shares don’t matter but yall have helped me heal from my own insecurities and feelings of self doubt and unworthiness just with your constant kindness and support and love. i really can’t thank you enough.

yall really do mean the world to me and im so happy to have been able to meet everyone and have yall in my life. legitimately i dont know how i would have survived these last few months without you guys and i just really hope my appreciation shines through even a little bit.

i hope everyone is having an amazing holiday season and your new years is just as wonderful. im so fucking happy 2024 is over in a few days and im so fucking happy to be taking yall with me 🧡

[bulbabutt]

Thank you for being a bastion of sanity amidst the growing "but proshippers! But incest! But RPF!" purity culture's nonsense.

I'm so tired of being afraid to admit that I've even read a fanfic/fancomic because that same person might have a DIFFERENT ACCOUNT where they indulge in a problematic ship. And therefore they are "bad" and by association, I could be labeled "bad" for having looked at something completely unrelated and tossed on a block list.

It's asinine. Yet I'm too afraid to even get off anon because I know I don't have the mental fortitude to survive a potential online witch hunt.

So thank you, I wish you all the strength to keep screaming the words I cannot.

honestly youre not the first person to send me an anon about this, i just tend to feel just as afraid of responding to them as much as you are afraid of coming off anon. i think because while ill post things in vague context, it becomes another thing when someone says it out loud, yknow? but i appreciate it, knowing im not just screaming into a void where no one likes what i have to say.

i think what i will say is im not the only one who THINKS like i do, but i am just dumb enough to be loud and annoying about it. its kind of a thing where i'd never say anything specific because like... some people are so vicious and will demand blood if they get a whiff if i mention anything vaguely. the fact i have to be afraid to say 'people dont mind' for their own safety is crazy, huh?

i think that thing youre saying about being worried by association from association was the same first time i had this thought. i was reading something so good so deep something that effected me so deeply from how well it was talking about the realistic effects of incestuous abuse, and then i went to see what else the author had written and i was like. oh. theres just regular incest in here too. and that was kind of a moment of hm.. perhaps i need to think more about what really matters here. the fact i can engage with what i want and just say 'oh i see what else you do, thats not for me so i will just not engage with that'

so it hurts worse when theres the idea of someone engaging with art they like that has nothing 'weird' going on, then suddenly getting hit with screaming that that artist has a side account theyre not advertising where they make weird art that they are keeping FULLY separate from the account in question. like i do not see how that helps anybody in that situation.

then theres the generalization of it. the idea that maybe all you did was draw like. 19 yr old versions of two 15 yr olds kissing, and suddenly that gets you put on a list of people who will draw literal children in sexual situations, gets you put in that same boat without question. that shit is so cruel to me, that these things all get painted with the same brush. equally as bad, equally as deserving of being ostracized. or the idea that you get put on that list for not caring about if strangers ship things on the internet, makes you just as bad as someone who makes it. i really just hate this entire culture.

idk im... old school i guess? back in my day youd watch a shitty cartoon that had over 20 characters in it so you could smash them together in whatever ship suited you. crack ships were the bread and butter of me and my friends, shit that made no sense but in your own head. the idea of being anti... shipping at all is so... thats very weird. shipping as a thing is very much what fandom was ever made for in the first place? like. im not kidding, learn your history if you dont know that (middle age women shipping kirk and spock)

back when i was a kid i watched this tv show called kim possible, and i was a kid who didnt know shit about themselves seeing a pretty villain lady for the first time who called the main character who was a girl princess. i didnt know what to make of that, i didnt know the age difference between them i was a dumbass child, they were both drawn the same way! then im like 12 years old on the internet, i see theres a ship of the teenage girl and this like 30 yr old villain woman. do you think my 12 year old self saw the problematic nature and thought deeply about the morals of said ship? no. i was like 'holy shit i wish i was the teenage girl dating shego. why do i like this? oh god im a lesbian'

again. i was a child. what are you gonna do, go back in time and arrest my 12 year old ass for looking at pg rated fanart of women kissing on the internet? we didnt HAVE real representation yet! there was no korrasami, no rupphire, no bubbline, no lumity! shipping was the only place you could see stuff that was gay! and it being GAY would get you in more trouble than it having an age gap!

the fact is people WOULD cancel me now for that, wouldnt you?! thats where we're at. that IS a problematic ship, id be put on a blocklist in todays internet for being a child who crushed on villains. i didnt make it, i didnt create for it, i just looked at it and that would get you in trouble now!!! thats crazy.

i know thats a random tangent to go off on, but like..... hhhhh i dont know man. sometimes it seems like people want the internet to pass by broadcasting standards and practices and thats!!! bad!!! let people experiment with their weird shit as they figure themselves out, its so fucking normal. youre not a bad person for looking at things on the internet, youre not a bad person for engaging with things, youre not a bad person for being horny online! especially if you make your own fucking space for it?? a space easily blacklistable, with trigger warnings and EVERYTHING... we didnt have those when i was a kid, so some things are better, but culture is just worse.

i dunno. i just think i would not have thrived in this environment as a teenager. im glad im old and know better, but i worry about the lessons kids are learning from this. to feel ashamed, to bottle shit up, its not good for you. be kind to yourself, be kind to others. we're all working through shit in our own ways.

sorry for another long annoying post

[confessions-sm]

how come as soon as i come back 2 the fandom susie is finally getting appreciation😭 where were u guys earlier this year… u dont know her like i know her… 🐺

anyway susie headcanons (mainly angst) i am too scared to post on main:

- susie is an enby lesbian but is so attached to her identity as a big sister they refuse to use any pronouns that arent they/she

- susie has BAD ocd. contamination is a big problem, but she also has a lot of intrusive thoughts surrounding pump — mainly the bad experiences he’s been in. she’s afraid something might happen to him.

- along w/ that last one, she gets occasional thoughts / nightmares ab her encounter with bob.

- she’s a furry and her fursona is a gerbil that wears a demon horn headband

- she’s homeschooled. asked to do homeschool after her parents started leaving more since she had to take care of her brother and grandpa

- she heavily regrets all her outbursts. she hopes pump doesn’t grow up to remember her as the big sister who yelled. that’s how she remembers her parents, and she doesn’t want to be remembered like that

- it’s hard for her to maintain friendships :( she doesn’t have a lot of time to dedicate to them w/ her busy schedule of taking care of the house, schoolwork, and streaming. (the hatzgang dont mind too much. they’re usually doing their own thing anyway. they’re friends w/ her, but they’ve prolly had some bad moments b4 😭)

- she RLLY wants some kind of pet, either mice or a bearded dragon. she’s worried she won’t have enough time or energy to dedicate to one, so she hasn’t asked yet

- this is semi-implied, but she is PRIME weird kid material. a 15yr old w/ free internet access in the 2010s? she’s had all the phases.

- along with this, she has had to stop pump from traumatizing himself on the internet the same way she traumatized herself LMAO

- ALSO semi implied!!! she rlly likes punk rock music!!! esp 80s-90s punk! she wants to dress semi-alternative to fit the vibe of her music :p usually doesn’t since she’s at home tho HAHA

no this isnt projecting sshshshsh

.

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

I’m new to this area of the internet, but I’ve lurked here for quite a bit. I need some help figuring this out.

How does one figure out if they’re a therian or nonhuman or something else?

I think Therians are really cool, your gear is cool, QUADS ARE AWESOME, and y’all are just really nice people

This is the autistic side of me probably, but since I was a kid I’ve been insanely into cats (not so much anymore though). I can usually name a cats breed by looking at it, I have a pretty large knowledge of cat behavior and communication, and generally just know a heck ton about them. That’s normal enough I guess, but-

Where it gets… a bit more unusual is I also sometimes act like a cat I guess? It’s not that I feel like one exactly- I just feel like me- but I’ll do cat things like perching on things, the way I sleep/act when I’m tired, and my general body language demeanor. I also feel like I have phantom ears sometimes (usually it’s ears, but it’s also been tail, claws, and fangs less commonly).

I dont have dreams or memories of a past life and I don’t have body dysphoria. I do kind of have dysphoria in the sense that I really wish I could/want to communicate the way cats do (ear/eye/tail positions, and vocalizations) etc. I don’t get outside much, but when I do it’s safe to say I act more like I’ve seen in Therian videos (sorry if that sounds rude I’m not sure how else to put it) than other people (jumping around, trying to perch on things, and never ever following the path lol).

I’ve been called weird (by friends in a lighthearted way) on multiple occasions because my impulsive reaction to a lot of things (being startled, surprised with something that makes me happy, feeling contented, etc) with pretty cat like sounds. I dont even think about them they just happen naturally. I also may have spent way too much time as a kid teaching myself to hiss like a cat- I’m still pretty good at it but never do it at people because it’s, ya know, not very socially acceptable.

It also feels notable that yes I do own those cat paw socks and yes I love them, and yes I have a whole collection of cat ear hats that I wear nearly constantly.

The main thing that’s confusing to me is I don’t really wish I had a cats body, but I have all this other stuff going on. Also, surprisingly, cats aren’t actually my favorite animal.

Any input is appreciated ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mushroominaforest]

Why don’t you have a DNI? Most of the people I see you being friends with have them, so you should probably add one to make sure you don’t get the wrong type of people here, especially since you’re a minor.

I don’t want this to come across as rude, I just think you should be more careful. There are a lot of bad people in the rain world community.

The response got kinda long sorry lol

To be honest I don’t know how well DNI’s would even work. If a transphobe sees “transphobes dni” on my pinned post would they really think “oh shit mb” and then leave? Idk.

Although, I’ve generally had a very positive experience with people listening to the request that I do have on my pinned post, which is just being like “hey I’m a minor, only SFW asks plz thank u”. So maybe they do work? Either way, I appreciate everyone being respectful. :3

The only negative experience that I’ve ever had from people in the Rw community has been from someone who is very strongly on the anti-Pansear anti-proshipping side of that controversy. The people they accuse of horrible things have all been kind and respectful to me. So sometimes it’s hard to know who the “bad people” in the community actually are.

Since I’m a minor, and I’m new to the internet, I’ve tried my best to stay out of things like the aforementioned controversy as much as I can. I don’t want to spread misinformation, make enemies, or get into a potentially dangerous situation. Like I’ve said, I don’t think that I’m mature enough to be able to properly analyze a situation like that. I’m well aware that I’m a teenager who’s likely going to be easily influenced, so I’m all good to leave any debating to the adults who know better and have more lived experience. I’m perfectly happy chilling here with my friends and making fun art and stories.

(I’m more than capable of getting myself into bad situations in real life, don’t need to bring the internet into it lol.)

But I can say that so long as you respect my wishes, you dont think that people can be worth more or less depending on their physical appearance, sexuality, gender, social class, religion, abilities etc, and you aren’t rude to my friends, then you’re welcome to come hang out on my blog! 👍

[hlkproductions]

Where can we learn more about Ivy? They're so cute, and I love the Yuyu Poly going on!

ill be real w you friend... as much as i wish i did, i dont rly have anywhere online that has all of ivy's lore explained out. while i do have documents and discord chats FULL of them, ive never been very good at publishing the deeper information on my OCs since my old days on deviantArt. i rly do appreciate you saying you enjoy her tho! and it means a lot to me to hear that the poly is received well! i'm an inherently shy person by nature u__u i get sheepish when given attention on my creations, and with how many reworks, polishing ups, and tweaks ive given her over my internet lifetime i'm not sure i'll ever be confident enough to put the whole of it up. i do think i might try at the very least to make a sort of 'fast facts' / TLDR version of explanation in the near future thatll shine some light on the basics of her. & include her dynamics with the major characters in yyh. please look forward to it!

[doodlenoodleboi]

hi hi hi!!! im a sucker for nakedtoaster, and if you dont mind, could you write some headcanons about toasty with a trans fem reader/MC? I think he of all BP love interests would be understanding because they themselves are also trans. thank you so much!! :3 -🦋

︎ ୨ৎ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ♥︎ ⋅ TOASTY!! ♡︎ ୨ৎ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ♥︎ ⋅ ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪

Authors note: If I understand you right, I think you naked, toaster as a trans as well. I don’t see him like that, but if I was a head of yours I will accept it and go by it for these head cannons. By the way i’m a gender fluid, pansexual, I like getting request like these, even if I don’t truly understand them sometimes. Because me myself am already confused with my gender identity.

Naked Toaster with a trans woman as his significant other!

◦ You being a trans woman does not change the way he loves you. It only changes the way he helps you, he can help you with.

◦ If you haven’t transitioned surgically, of course, he’ll remind you to take your supplements if you have them.

◦ If toast was trans he would appreciate reminders to takeoff his binder if he had worn it for too long if he hasn’t had surgery.

◦ Toast being friends with xyx is rather chaotic and funny, given the fact if you were to ever get any Internet hate best believe xyx is coming to troll them. While Toast might just relay their IP address.

◦ If you’re not the confrontational type when it comes to your pronouns, Toast to make sure to correct people in every in every setting.

◦ I don’t know if this projecting, but I feel that if toast would go off of presenting and doesn’t want to miss gender a person they usually go with they/them.

◦ MATCHING CAT EARS you can’t tell me if you’re a person that likes inherently feminine things, that he won’t put cat ears on you maybe just for a picture he would practically beg for you to do so.

◦ Toast canonically presents is non-binary and oddly enough likes things like pink even if he uses pronouns He/ They. He will most likely warm up to your pronouns in no time.

◦ Once again for the people in the back he make sure everybody respects your pronouns!

◦ Toast appreciates when you helphelped dye his roots, him being a natural blonde does help the appearance of his roots to the strawberry blonde but after a while, it looks weird so he needs to dye it.

◦ He might hate it at first, just give him a minute he needs to color to fade.

◦ Before you guys get off discord and you do tell him that you are a trans he reacts rather calmly, or doesn’t know what to say to that. (Yooo me too! Jk) nonetheless he loves you unconditionally.

◦ As a CEO and everything goes smoothly, he would offer to pay for your surgery if you’d want one. Because truly he fell in love with your soul, not your body.

The end!

That last one was fucking sad but like in a good way like I want someone to love me like that!

Sorry that was kind of short <3

This is how I see Toast if you care… I couldn’t find the credits for the artist on Pinterest so this is not mine! Tell me if you can find the artist.

[krchar]

aaaahhhh thank you for the tag @lumiy-a <333

so let's do this

Fanfic Writer Interview!

1. How many fics do you currently have on AO3?

six :)

2. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Given the number it is, of course, most of them :D But:

The Flute

Of Custom and Flaws

The Scar in His Hand

The Truth in the Garden

Behind the Scenes

3. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, because I am so happy about them, comments are just so great to read, someone takes time to react to my crap, which I love deeply, it is so great to talk with them about their points and feelings and observations, commenters are awesome.

4. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Is it an angsty ending, if the whole thing was angsty..? But I generally tend to search for hope..

Of those on AO3 I'd say The Flute sort of.. (rather searching some serenity in angst). But I used to have one much harsher on fanfiction.net years ago for a different fandom, even if there, too, was some very f*cked up thread of hope

5. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Of those actually finished, it may seem weird, but to me The Scar in His Hand was an ending that just made me happy and hopeful if that counts

Ok but to be fair Behind the Scenes ends with an overdose of fluff

6. Do you write crossovers?

Not really so far :/

7. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really, some of my blorbos are sexually active and happily so, but it is just hinted at, I never got there

8. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dont really know about such occurrence :)

Wow now I'm thinking, I googled my name like everyone, but I never googled my fics :O

9. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Some years ago someone translated my fun one-shot (on fanfiction.net) into Russian and put it on some other server (they asked for consent). Meanwhile, I have deleted the fic for reasons, but the translation may be floating somewhere over the internet

10. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, years ago we wrote two different fics with a real-life friend :) We used the strategy of dividing characters for each of us to write. It was great, but we did not finish either of them hehe

11. What's your all time favorite ship?

Ok I know what this blog looks like now, but to tell the truth, I started to ship Himerish/Yarr about half a year ago (it was quite some explosion, yes).

I shipped and ship a lot of pairs (and some threes), but I don't think I ever had like THE ONE

12. What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably the LoTR fic of which I wrote just a part like in 2013, where I shipped Éeowyn and an OC dwarf-woman (I made her a daughter of Dwalin and she journeyed on her own (and without permission) to save her uncle Balin, bc they had no messages from Moria :(( but she got stuck in Rohan. It was pre-canon.)

13. What are your writing strengths?

Uhh.. ok self-appreciation time..

I dont know if mirroring yourself in characters is weakness, or strength, but it might bring some positives..? Like relatability hopefully..?

And I like to explore stuff.. imagining weird situations, overthinking headcanons to fill in the lore.. and such :)

14. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes in search of vocabulary my head starts to boil, so language, English is not my first.. also I think i am sometimes too dramatic. And sometimes I have doubts if I am not talking about stuff that is too heavy and that I do not actually understand.

15. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

So only by reading answers by previous posters I get that this means like other than the main language of the fic..? I never did that.. why not really, look I like LoTR and its linguistic variety, and I like all the weird sounds in Star Wars, and Im a nerd for all the sounds that real people make, so go for it people, it's fun

16. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for but want to?

hmmmMMMmmmm... technically I've written for LoTR, but not enough.

17. What's your favorite fic you've written?

Ohhh... ok this is difficult.. I think I'll go sort of neutral and choose sentiment reasons, and will say my very fist fic, which I wrote in Czech, when I was about 14, it was just this silly fun about an OC in HP, red-headed girl, of course, and with some cool features like high tolerance to cold and alcohol

Ok now I should tag someone! So, I think I will tag @aniriargyle, if it's ok..? :) who writes for fandoms regrettably unknown to me, but who wrote me some really nice comments on AO3 <3

[knightobreath]

I am once again reminded you are a real human being

My bad gang I’m sorry

Do not let them get to you

compiling these 3 specifically because theyre all probably about the fact that i said i was tired of getting intentionally trollish asks, so let me explain myself a bit more xP. its a lot because i love to talk

you guys shouldnt be too sorry! i did intentionally encourage these a few times, especially during the #mod 🫒's purgatory thing. because well, as a part of what i do on my blogs and streams I am a clown. i intentionally play as a sort of over-exaggerated feed-the-trolls fool because i think it makes me funnier. but the main issue is that I didn't set a proper boundary between intentionally goofy oliver and genuine human being oliver. This is a direct consequence of having everything be on my personal blog and not relegated to sperate spaces.

the sheer volume of asks ive been getting lately has made keeping up difficult and well. guys im kind of tired of answering nonsense or trollish asks. i'm not witty enough! i'm out of jokes! i've been riffing off of anons every day for like a month! and it is my fault for not just deleting stuff but i do appreciate when you guys want to joke around with me

okay. uh here is the part that is the Straws that Broke the Camel's Back. I can't tell when you guys are joking anymore. I can't gauge how much of the anon "hate" is jokes and how much of it is genuine. I can only tell for sure if it's like my friend saying it. If it isn't clear to me that a friend sent in an ask, it reads as if a stranger sent it. And I can't tell if a stranger is being genuine or not because I don't know you. a key example is the person who said something along the lines of "of course you're a skeleton if you're a vegetarian" which didn't read as a friendly jab but rather a stranger making assumptions about my diet to blame me for my body issues. i assume the anon just saw that those were both things the funny ask answering guy was talking about so they were free game for making fun of. kind of my fault though because as i said, there isnt enough of a boundary between when im being comedic and when i'm being genuine.

so like. tldr in conclusion i love receiving and answering asks and I did sort of have this policy of responding to Every Single One that I just can't do anymore and now I'm suffering from the horrible affliction that is "Bit That's Gone On For Way To Long" with a side effect of not wanting to go back on my word. and now that i actually want to be Real on Main people are going to try and bring it back to jokingly antagonizing me not realizing that it just becomes actual antagonizing when it's not about something i consider a joke. so im just gonna place down some boundaries

streams are a good time to send in silly asks, im in bit mode for that

i also dont take anything seriously on the oscc but please dont bother the other mods about it

im not responding to every ask anymore. Lol. if i cant think of anything funny its going into the void

might also start blocking anons who say shit that is Weird ! no more taking literally everything in good faith

you guys can still send silly asks i just want you to like. roll it back on the whole jokingly being mean to me thing. friends are exempt of course just make it clear that its YOU and not Internet Stranger #66951284

anyways love yall but also i dont know yall. or. most of yall. i accept the anon's apology👍

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Hello there 🙏🫶 I just want to share this rn with you..... 💌 Recently i have developed a crush on a girl. She is so wonderful and we talk every day & i feel so giddy LOL. I don't even know her face😭 I am so unsure over alot of things & it is both mortifying & exhilarating to experience .. & thats the fun if it..omg.. recently i feel like so many friends are having crushes i wonde r your thoughts on this..

also i forgot how to flirt entirely so i dnt even know if its noticeable to her at all that im interested that way since i havent been bold enough LOL any advice on signaling this to her is appreciated i feel like13 again likeso clumsy LOL its so exciting too omg wishing you a beautiful day when u reaD this i hope it;s fine to send this to u i know u like your inbox used as a confessional but i'm still shy HAHA

🙏🌞🫶🫧🌈

AWWW💞💞💞 happy for u Anon :]....Ues it seems lately many people have been finding new love, i noticed it too the past few weeks :o I've only had that feeling a handful of times over my life, its a special one cus it can be quite fleeting depending on how fast things move, treasure it🌟 altho W/ me and slimbo it lasted ages so by the end of it when we finally confessed love i was FRIED from haveing butterflies in my stomach for so long lol i was losing my marbles over it. anywyas--

Honeslty im BAD at flirting like. i have noooo idea how to make a move , slimbo n i both tried to keep it .pokerface. for years because we're like, i dont even know, we're stupid we were almost enemies for a while. there was a timespan where we were SOOOO competitive and whenever we tried to play games we'd fight so much and i'd end up crying LMAO im laugjing so hard typing this cus we're not even like that now. Like as soon as we got together we became the ultimate harmonious team of considerate affectionate lovers but the courting phase was such a trainwreck lmao. i love it like its beautiful it all worked out, but yeah i suck at flirting i am swagless in that position🧎‍♀️

Altho when it's irl i definitely at least try to Thot it Up, concoct minxy outfits , move in a charming way, one of my most successful tactics has been attempting to orchestrate accidental voyeuristic scenarios for them to catch in their peripherals lol. but you have to be reeeeally subtle to pull that one off ;] i guess mostly i just try to talk to them a lot !! and be thouggtful. send telepathic uncondtional love. SHOW THEM SONGS!!!!!!! if its an internet thing, maybe u can watch movies or youtube videos together. be inquisitive and ask her lots of questions ^_^ one thing that always drew me to slimbo is how curious they are and their #intellect.. But everyones different so just feel it out day by day thru communication💓💓💓

hhope that helpes in some way.. its ok to feel giddy and clumsy im sure ur crush just wants to get to know the most authentic -you- so dont stress too much about specifics ^u^ Enjoy your weekend love ~ ~ ~ P.M.d.9

[fleaseditstuff]

how to request | what counts as a request, what do i accept, phrasing to avoid, requests to avoid, misc

what counts as a request?

anything where you're asking me to find or create graphics is considered a request. asking for tips, help, or resource sites isn't, so those can be asked regardless of whether or not my requests are closed

what do i accept?

– requests to make or find (pngs/overlays/dividers/etc) of or based on an image, a character, an aesthetic, a concept or a series

– help regarding styles or aesthetics, ex. helping you find one that fits your description, help with how to edit a particular style or aesthetic

phrasing to avoid

as you probably know, i am autistic and struggle with questions that are not specific enough to me.

Q: "can i have Schrooble McDoobleson pngs?"

– i do different kinds of character-related pngs, so please specify between having pngs OF said character or pngs BASED on said character

also, if you have a preference for me cutting out pngs myself, then please do say so. there is also a difference between pngs and overlays on this blog to be aware of

Q: "can i have (dividers/frames/pngs) from rentrys?"

– what rentries... i dont know, i don't check them often. if you know a rentry you'd like me to use as an example then please link it.

Q: "can i have (dividers/frames/pngs)"?

– i'll probably just give you whatever i can find if you ask this. if you wanted something specific, then please describe it

Q: "can i have cute (dividers/frames/pngs)?"

– what is your definition of cute? pastel? girly? i'll likely be able to do this request on its own since i default to pastel things when i think of cute, but it helps to describe.

same goes for other non-descript adjectives like "cool".

requests to avoid

– "lace dividers" are something i get asked for quite a bit in spite of them already being abundant on the internet.

look it up on tumblr. look it up on my blog. look it up on google. scroll through da.lace. if all of those fail, you are free to come to me and explain what exactly you're looking for.

– requests for pngs from a particular artist. unless they have either given explicit permission or their art is used on albums, in tv shows or other public material, i dont do it

– requests for anything vivziepop or hoyoverse related. i can make exceptions for friends or for characters i like, but otherwise its unlikely

– asking for pngs of a character or series with no official art. if you ask for fanart, i can try

misc

– kind words and manners are very much appreciated, but not necessary. just dont be a cunt.

– feel free to ask questions! i'm not bothered by it unless its something I've explicitly stated already

[arom-antix]

feel free to publish this...wish I was braver but *shrugs* first lemme give you n everyone else brave enough to not hide under anon (like me, lmao) ur flowers for speaking up b/c this drama feels like a long time coming 

one of the weirdest parts of Samurai's deal is how she acts against her own interests. at the end of the day, ur main goal is to get ppl to read this 300K fic that youve spent years on, right? 

which, fair. no issue with that

heres what I do have an issue with, Samurai: you acting like no one in the fandom respects ur writing talent when ur stats tell a different story. (notice i said respects ur writing talent. not respects ur social media presence...more on that later)

anyway, Samurai: be so fucking forreal right now

calling urself "an underdog"?! (if anybody doesnt know what im talking about, @arom-antix screenshotted a post from Samurai's social media where she says she doesnt wanna do fandom events b/c she would just get ignored) 

do you really have the right to call urself an underdog when you have 600+ kudos n 1000+ comments on ur fanfic??? I have friends in newer n bigger fandoms who are multichap fic writers who would commit murder for those numbers. n let me add that their fics have been complete for a minute. unlike Samurai's fic which she completed *checks notes* this past fucking weekend 

the funny part is its giving Katsuki Yuuri thinking hes lower than dirt even when hes made it to the gpf/is japans best figure skater. that screenshot you included where she's like "my stats are nothing to be proud of..."

like ???? 

does she not realize how fucking insulting that is to allllll the fic writers who have nowhere near the numbers she does? im not a writer but if i was n saw that itd make me feel like shit. like a minami kenjirou 'you dont have a dark past' kind of thing lmao. n to that point, its like you said earlier. its fine to have anxiety n to not be perfect in dealing with it. but when you dont sort that shit out with a therapist n instead make ur insecurity an entire fandoms problem over n over again is it really that big a fucking puzzle why ur losing readers? or why nobody wants to reblog ur shit?  

if shes really that clueless n cant see how ppl might be turned off by her personality (the reverse from before: im not saying shit about her actual writing here which i think is pretty decent) it makes me wonder, like...

why did her beta reader never sit her down? why didn't her friend @cecebeanie ever tell her "stop being a dick on social media ur ruining everything ur working so hard for?" or, maybe they did n she told them to fuck off because she seems to think she knows everything. 

ok, imma stop there before i really go off lmao. thank you again for being a go-between for ppl too scared to chime in by name. appreciate youuuuuu <3

Thank you very much for this ask. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable with publically including yourself in Internet scuffles by name. I'm glad to be the middle man so people like you get to have an anonymous platform to speak through.

And yeah, a bunch of what you've said is exactly what my point was with pointing out Samurai's simultaneous lament of her "bad" stats and dismissal of any explanation of why their stats might look like that. Also, let me reiterate: There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling insecure or demotivated by something that someone else might find incredibly motivating. We're all different and have different PoVs. However, there's a difference between feeling insecure and dealing with it privately and feeling insecure and then making that everyone else's problem by vagueposting and getting upset with the people supporting you for not being enough. I'm not saying you can't post whatever you want on your socials but if you do you also have to accept that people might find that off-putting. That's just how it is. Especially if those posts imply, whether on purpose or not, that any support you might still have doesn't count because it's not what you were hoping for.

And there's a good point in this ask that I want to highlight: The implication in a lot of Samurai's posts that they're not respected leaves a sour taste in the mouths of those who read those posts. Contrary to what Samurai's way of posting would have you believe, they have plenty of readers who very much do respect their writing. And if you respect someone and then that someone repeatedly publically laments how no one respects them, you're going to feel disrespected and ignored, the exact things Samurai is so upset about being (see links at the bottom of this post to find the full discussions of Samurai's online attitude). It's quite ironic, if I'm honest. It's basically a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you constantly insist that no one cares about you, eventually you'll convince the people who do care about you that maybe they shouldn't because you only bring negative attitudes and no one wants that.

And so, you're now in exactly the situation you feared so much specifically because you couldn't let yourself or the people around you exist without that frustration of yours being at the forefront of every conversation. Trust me, I'm heavily medicated for anxiety, I know how easy it is to fall into a cycle of only thinking about your fears. But if you want to escape them, you either have to contront them head on or learn to live in spite of them. If you only ever focus on how much they're dominating your life, they'll just consume you and ruin you.

I know I've been pretty harsh in my posts about this situation but if you're reading this, Samurai, know that I don't want you to suffer. I don't want you to leave the Internet or stop doing the things you love. I know you love writing, I can tell it's a big passion of yours and I know you love YOI. I encourage you to keep engaging with your passions and finding joy in whatever you love. However, you also need to let others do the same. Even if their "non-academic" posts lessen your enjoyment of what the ideal fandom experience would be, too bad. You don't get to decide how others engage with fandom. The only thing you get to decide is how you engage. If other people's posts annoy you, you're not required to look at them. Of course it sucks if there are very few people and posts you enjoy when you'd rather have a litany of stuff to engage with but that's just how being on the Internet is. You don't get to control these things. Be the change you want to see in the world but don't look down at others for not sharing those same goals of change. You do you, they'll do them.

Just because you prefer your way of doing fandom doesn't make it better than anyone else's and either you recognise that and get over yourself or people won't want to interact with you. End of. That's just how it is. People don't like interacting with people who make them feel lesser and the way you're interacting with the fandom at the moment is very much making people feel like that. I know, I know, you don't intend for that to be the takeaway, but it is. That's how you come across. And if you don't know how to not come across that way, you're allowed to ask.

I know you have friends such as Cecebeanie who you can talk to about this. I know you probably don't want to talk to me but if it comes down to it, I don't hate you and would love to help you if you'd let me. Again, I would not be shocked if you don't want anything to do with me ever again. I am kinda repeatedly coming after you. I wouldn't want to talk to me even if I agreed with the criticism. But if it ever becomes relevant, I do not hate you and while I have my hang-ups about you, I don't need to be BFFs with someone just to talk to them. You're not an idiot. You're not stupid. I know you're not. But you're behaving really immaturely and irresponsibly, both generally and towards individuals. That does not make you a lost cause.

While I don't have high hopes that you'll actually take any of my criticism to heart, if you decide to give a redemption a try, I'd gladly help if you'd let me. I don't want to crucify you. I just want you to do better for the sake of everyone, including yourself.

That became longer than intended. Anyway, thanks again for the ask, anon. For anyone else who has something they want to say, my ask box is always open, regardless of whether you agree with me or not. I don't cherrypick who gets to voice their opinion in a public debate. I'll be answering every ask regardless. And choosing to be anonymous, regardless of what stance you take, is also nothing to be ashamed of. I totally get it if you want to voice an opinion or comment on this situation but don't want to be publically tied to it. That's totally fine. It is kind of a lot. Especially considering how many have mentioned being afraid of retaliation from Samurai, I don't mind being the middle man at all. Ask away with whatever you want to add to this discussion.

Thank you for the ask, anon.

Links to the two main threads this discussion is running through: Thread one Thread two

[idontmindifuforgetme]

hey -- i know you probably dont want anons worrying about you too much because i know at the end of the day what we're doing is doing whatever we can, spreading the word and letting them go unforgotten at least as the bare minimum, to help palestine. but genuinely volunteering fatigue is a very real thing and of course im sure i dont have to tell you to never stop talking about what's going on, never stop thinking about those individual lives lost to the occupation, im sure you understand better than most people. but in regards to your other volunteering work -- oftentimes your best work comes from when you've ensured your own rest first as best you can. im sure its hard with everything going on but try to take care of yourself where you can even if its the little things. youre doing amazing work irl and im sure i speak for a ton of people when i say your constant activism doesnt go unseen. you are making a difference in so many ways. they will be free.

from the river to the sea. 🍉

(no pressure to reply to this and sorry if i overstepped at all. im just an anon online so i dont really know you. i just also volunteer and have a lot going on and i've been thinking constantly about the atrocities against the palestines and how horrifying it is that some people would think it's even remotely okay. i know you wouldnt want the attention put on you so again i totally understand if you dont wanna publish this -- i just want you to know you're doing as much as you can in all aspects of life and im sure many people think your work is a blessing)

🌻

No I really appreciate this!! I do realize I can come off as pretty stilted when I’m answering asks like this, and honestly yeah it does have to do with that I’m uncomfortable w the idea of making this about me. It even took a mental tug of war to answer this lmao, but I don’t wanna just dismiss people who’re being openly kind to me—so thank you. Sincerely.

I can see how a lot of my posts can come off as red flags haha, not w regards to volunteer work but just in general bc I’m very much an overachiever pre-med. And I love it, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love medicine and science and being busy, but I do have moments where I’m like I!!! Have not truly been home!!! In a week and a half!!! But I do have ways to destress w that like the gym, a good group of friends, journaling, reading, self-care regimens etc etc.

Really grateful that I’m just some girl on the internet & there are still people who care enough to send worried asks like this!! Love u SO much even if I am bad at expressing it at times

[br1ghtestlight]

I’m curious about 13, 14, and 25 if you haven’t answered those already!

have already answered for 25 :)

the bob and louise angst au is one I have talked about a bit on tumblr its just an au where gene, tina and linda died in a car accident when louise was 3 years old and it's like a norman's hotel type vibe where bob and louise are VERY secluded and mostly keep to themselves. very traumatized by it all and bob is overprotective. mostly trying to analyze how gene and tina's existence affected louise and how it would be different if she never had older siblings. it's sad tbh i dont think i will ever properly do anything with it but i do think about it sometimes

Louise Belcher was an only child.

Her father said that she wasn’t. He told her that she had an older sister named Tina and an older brother named Gene, but they died in the same car accident that killed her mother when they were five and seven years old. Louise was too young when the accident happened to remember them, only three years old and not yet aware of herself or her place in their family, so in her mind she was an only child. That was how she grew up, and a brother and sister in Heaven didn’t change anything for her. She didn’t need them.

Sometimes, when Louise was alone and feeling sorry for herself, she would try to remember what her siblings' voices sounded like. She would try to remember what they would say to her back when they were alive, and the games they would play together. Louise was the youngest so she’d always get her way when she felt like their games were unfair. She would try but she could never quite remember.

Her father had shown her videos he recorded of her mother and even a few videos of when her siblings were younger, before Louise was even born, but nothing recent enough that it sparked a memory. They just looked like annoying toddlers to her. Not her siblings.

She’d seen pictures of them, when she asked her father to bring them out from where they were hidden in storage, but that wasn’t the same. They just looked like stock photos he pulled from the internet. They didn’t feel like real people that she had known.

my louise/rudy my girl fic in contrast is actually not angsty AT ALL it was just a silly little concept i wrote where louise watches my girl w/ her family and sees herself and rudy in the characters and gets stressed out that something bad could happen to rudy. she sees rudy at school and he's basically like louise im FINE nothing bad is ever going to happen to me i promise <3 it was just a stupid movie

Louise found My Girl to be painfully boring in the beginning but when Thomas J. Sennett was introduced, she found herself relating to his dynamic with Vada. He reminded her of her best friend Regular-Sized Rudy.

They were always riding bicycles around Rudy’s mother’s house and similarly to Thomas J. Sennett, Rudy was allergic to EVERYTHING! Louise still thought that this movie was stupid and she wasn’t interested in the romance aspect at all, but she appreciated seeing a friendship that reminded her of Rudy. Louise snuggled under Bob’s arm and continued watching My Girl with her family—occasionally laughing to herself at moments that she deemed to be cheesy or unrealistic—until there was a completely out of nowhere twist near the ending of the movie that even Louise hadn’t seen coming.

Thomas J. Sennett had an allergic reaction and DIED!

Vada was left trying to understand how her best friend had died from an allergic reaction and how to cope with the grief and heartbreak she was feeling, and Louise who had otherwise been disinterested for most of the movie suddenly found herself trying to suppress her emotions so that she wouldn’t cry in front of her family over a STUPID coming of age movie. Louise never cried when watching movies.

“This is so sad. It’s been such a long time since we watched this movie together, Bobby! I forgot that he dies at the end,” Linda said as she blew her nose into a tissue.

Linda was always the most emotionally impacted when they watched movies together as a family, especially when children dying was involved. She always said that it made her think about losing her own children and how heartbroken she would feel. Louise had her face buried in Bob’s side so that nobody would hear her sniffling or see the tears that were pouring down her face.