#i dont actually think its suggestive its not meant to be but the lamb is butt ass NEKKID!!! so

[fanofthelamb]

im gonna be real i had so much fun drawing some of these faces i didnt even pay writing much attention. they both are stupid idiots with stupid idiot faces i just wanna draw their bastard faces!!!!!!!!!!

[babysizedfics]

i dislike mondays. ugh. but because monday is piano day i wanna know do any of the sides play an instrument?? & how did they react when virgil showed up, how long did it take for them to become comfortable? -🌙

i cant think of the instruments atm hshshhs i dont wanna mix concepts

how the light sides reacted when virgil showed up and how they decided virgil could move in permanently

TWs: angst (hurt/comfort style), anxiety attack mentioned, mention of abuse (in mentioning that this is NOT abuse)

virgil arrived trembling very late on an autumn night

logan was already asleep and roman was in his room doing something, only patton heard the gentle tentative knock on their front door

when he pulled the door open, he saw what looked like a child with a large backpack hurrying away from the door, so he called out "excuse me? Did you knock?" and it isnt until the person freezes and turns around that patton realises it's virgil - one of the sides he hasnt actually seen in YEARS

virgil hugs himself tightly, scratching harshly at his hoodie sleeves, mouth opening and closing wordlessly, not able to speak to someone so unfamiliar

patton can see tear tracks on his cheeks

"hey, kiddo, do you wanna come inside?" patton asks very gently, holding the door open as wide as it will go and taking a step back to give virgil space

it takes a good few moments of virgils eyes darting between the door and pattons shoulder and the sidewalk behind him and his feet but eventually he tiptoes up to the house and hesitates a moment before stepping into the warmth

as he passes by patton is reminded of how young virgil is compared to all of them, he's so small, just above five foot patton reckons, with lanky legs and the slightest baby fat on his cheeks still - he's only 16 if patton remembers correctly. last time he saw virgil was when he was 10.

he's different sure, his hair is no longer white but dyed a dull black, hes taller and clearly wearing makeup - and either he lost his freckles or he owns very thick foundation - but patton recognises the tentative tiptoe walk and the way he looks at the ground and hugs himself. he's still the same vulnerable child patton wished he could have seen more of all those years ago were it not for janus distancing the dark sides from them all

virgil is shaking like a leaf and still hasnt spoken (patton has never heard him speak besides whispered one or two words phrases to janus when they used to all attend meetings together) but patton guides him through to the kitchen quietly and makes him some chamomile tea which he knows is meant to be good for anxiety

he doesnt get much of an idea of why virgil is there since he still hasnt spoken a word - patton doesnt know at this point that virgil is autistic or selectively mute - but he knows that there must be a reason that paranoia felt the safest place to be was a totally new environement. something must have happened at home

he doesnt actually ask virgil what happened, knowing if he wanted to say he would, and simply tells him that he is safe and nothing will hurt him here. its late, if he would like patton can drive him back ((virgil instantly goes wide eyed and teary and shakes his head and breathes faster - patton holds his hand up and gently continues)) but if not then he can stay the night and they can talk in the morning

theres no negative response to that so once virgil has finished with his tea (only drinking about a third of it) patton shows him to the spare room, points out where the bathroom is, and gets him settled

((continues below cut))

it isnt until the next morning at breakfast that patton informs logan and roman what happened and that virgil is still in the room upstairs. roman is completely offended that it happened without any prior warning, that an intruder snuck under his nose, and logan is merely shocked and curious as to what happened.

i wont develop on that first day much more at the moment - but essentially the sides can only be outside of their own abode for 7 days (rounded up to midnight on the last day). if they are in the OTHER house (subconscious or conscious) by the time that week is up, their function will adjust and be reassigned to that part of the mind

virgil stays for six days - after the second day he was comfortable enough around patton to speak to him if they were on their own, but not at length. mostly whispering and never more than a sentence at a time. he told patton that he had a fight with janus and that he didnt want to be in that house anymore but he didnt share any details.

patton didnt feel he NEEDED details. if virgil felt uncomfortable in that house he didnt see why virgil should be made to stay there.

roman refused to speak to virgil the entire time he stayed there

on the seventh day of virgil staying with them, logan tried to speak to him in the morning, explaining that he must go back to the other house before midnight, thats just how its meant to be. it triggered virgil to have an anxiety attack right there in the living room and logan very bewildered helped him get through it.

patton took virgil back up to the spare room and reassured him that if virgil didnt want to do something he didnt have to - that included living with the others. virgil whispered that this is how things are meant to be - repeating logans words - and patton was internally furious. he told virgil he would soeak to the other two

that evening in the last couple of hours before virgil is due to either go back or be destined to stay with them forever, patton has logan and roman sat in the kitchen and refuses to give up his case

i wrote this dialogue a few months ago but this is where it begins:

P: He's just a child!

R: He's hardly an innocent little lamb, Pat

P: Don't you two remember being 16? Roman when you were that young you were still in school, you still had braces

R, blushing: No need to reminsce...

P: Logan when you were sixteen he hadn't even been created yet, not for another year. You were still figuring out how the mindscape worked!

L: I... was it really so long ago?

P: And when I was sixteen Roman and-- they were still-- *sigh* We were all just children. We were confused and scared but at least we knew where we belonged.

L, gently: Patton. He belongs in the subconscious with the others

P: You're both ignoring the fact that the must be a reason why he doesn't want to be there anymore. Why he doesn't want to be with them

R, angry and ready to fight: Are you suggesting they abused him??

P: No!! No, he said thats not it--

L: The mindscape would have alerted us in some way. And we are all essentially facets of Thomas; even if we all behave differently and hold different values, it is not in any of our natures to be maliciously cruel.

R: then what did patton mean?

P: I mean you know what the others are like. How they behave, how they live. Virgil has been with us for six days now and I can't be the only one who's noticed how different he is from the rest of them. He's quiet and cautious and gentle. He's frightened

L: Janus and Remus are not above feeling fear

P: I know but... He obviously doesn't feel safe with them. He doesn't fit in there

R: Well he doesn't fit in here either!! We've already got our dynamic all worked out - The brains, the brawn, and the beauty! A fourth doesnt fit into that!

P: well then we'll adapt so he does fit in

R scoffs and storms toward the closed kitchen door

P: Roman, please--

R opens the door and everyone freezes to see Virgil stumble back from it, clearly having been listening to their conversation

P: Oh kiddo... We were just--

R, bitter: Eavesdropping, huh?

V remains silent and glares at romans feet, hugging himself tightly

R: see, paranoia can't even look me in the eyes! He's obviously up to--

V: virgil

R, shocked because its the first time he has heard V speak and its quiet: what?

V: n-not paranoia. virgil.

everyone is silent and V immediately regrets speaking. he turns and hurries back up to the spare room

L looks from where V ran away, back at P's dejected look, and nods to himself, taking a deep breath

R sees this and instantly knows what it means - Logan has made his mind up. and what he says goes

R, sarcastic: great

R storms out and runs up to his room, slamming the door hard enough for P and L to feel it rumble from downstairs

After a moment P starts to stand up to go check on R and V. Then L's hand stops him

L: He can stay

P looks at L, eyes full to the brim with tears, looking so so hopeful and relieved. he sinks back to his chair and takes L's hand tightly

P: really?!

L nods and pulls his hand from P's hold: Really. If the mindscape thought it necessary to Thomas' psyche it could have prevented Virgil from even finding his way here. But it didn't

P wipes at his eyes and smiles wobbily

L: And we do have a spare bedroom. Which honestly always baffled me, I didn't request it of the mindscape... I daresay this may be the exact reason we were equipped with a four-bedroom house

P gasps: You mean this was destiny??

L: That is a highly emotionally charged way of putting it. But yes quite possibly

P sniffles and instantly pulls Logan into a tight hug. L very awkwardly returns it, then pulls back

P: Logan thank you so SO much, you have no idea--

L: I have one condition though

P instantly nods and looks at L very intently with a big smile

L, hesitating: You need to inform Janus before midnight

P's smile drops. his eyes drift to the digital clock on the oven - 23:34

L: At exactly midnight the change will be made permanent. While this was within Virgil's right to have a say in the matter, Janus is still his legal guardian. He--

P: he deserves to know...

L, sympathetic: I can handle telling Roman and--

P, desperate: I want to tell Virgil!

L, smiling softly: as you wish

...

23:42

P holds the telephone to his ear and dials janus' number. It only rings once

J: Hello? Virgil??

P: It- It's Patton.

J: Is virgil still there??

P: yes he-

J: For goodness sake Patton, do you have any idea what day it is, what time it is!! He was only supposed to stay a few nights!

P: I--

J: are you dropping him off? Do I need to pick him up?? I'll get in the car right now

P: Janus, I'm sorry he-

J: is he hurt?!

P: No! No he's not hurt

J: Then why the hell isn't he back yet! You know we don't have much longer!!

P: Janus-

J: I swear to GOD if anythinf has happened to him-

P: he isnt coming back

J: ... what?

P: Virgil, um... He's staying here. For good

J:

P: Janus, I--

*janus hangs up*

Patton stays frozen, hand over his mouth and eyes burning with unshed tears. he slowly lowers the phone back to the table, then sees movement in the corner of his eye. he gasps and quickly looks up.

virgil is standing just around the corner and jumps at pattons reaction, clearly highly strung. patton smiles reassuringly despite the tears in his eyes. "hey kiddo. sorry if i scared you"

virgil shrugs a little stiffly. it makes his backpack fall down his arm - and patton realises virgil has packed all his things in his bag again

"um.. do i- do i need to walk?" virgil asks, shaky and small

patton bites his lip and very slowly and carefully approaches virgil, stopping when virgil took a step back

"do you want to go back?" patton asks sincerely

virgil shakes his head immediately, strongly

patton nods to himself, but still prompts "are you completely sure?"

virgil slumps a little, voice even quieter. "i-i can go if you want"

"no" patton quickly says "no kiddo, i didnt mean that at all. youre allowed to stay if you want to"

virgil actually meets pattons eyes for the first time in his life - only for a second, but it blows patton away a little - "really??"

patton smiles sadly. "really really" then he turns serious. this is a serious matter after all. "but its permanent, okay? and if you change your mind or not thats completely fine but you have to do it in the next-" he checks his phone "-7 minutes so that I have enough time to drive you back"

virgil blinks hard and takes a big measured breath at that. he even sways a little and patton holds his arms out - not touching virgil but offering him something to hold if he needs to

virgil tentatively holds onto the sleeve of pattons fleece. "can, um... am i allowed to sit down?"

"of course, kiddo, come on" and patton leads him to the living room

they sit on the couch, just a couple of feet between them. by virgils doing - pat sat down first and let virgil sit wherever he pleased. when virgil didnt take the seat furthest and instead sat right next to pstton, the older side knew virgil must need comfort

and for the next few minutes virgil just sat and breathed a little too shallow and fast and looked at his phone every moment to check the time. it was the longest few minutes of either of their lives, sitting in silence and waiting for virgil to make up his mind

at least thats what patton thought, until he saw the time reading 23:58

it was well past the time they had to leave if they could get virgil back in time. virgil wasnt making up his mind - he was counting down the seconds until he was officially free from the subconscious

and then the clock hits midnight and virgil goes deadly tense and still, as if he's waiting for his phone to blow up in his face or something. neither of them moves or speaks, its been silent for minutes but this is deafening

but after a minute or two with no exploding phone or whatever else virgil expected, he breathes a big shaky sigh. he looks hesitantly up at patton, eyes falling just to the right of his head to avoid eye contact "is-is that it?"

patton nods slowly, a little stunned himself. "i guess so. do you feel any different?"

virgil blinks and frowns. then whispers "i'm... anxiety."

"you feel anxious?"

virgil picks at a loos thread on his ripped jeans. "y-yeah but... but my function"

"oh!" patton gasps, not knowing what else to say. he goes for reassurance. "well that's okay. whatever you are, you're still virgil."

"i... do i live here now?" virgil whispers, and the hope and relief in his voice is just too much for patton not to smile

"you live here now" he assures, feeling his heart swell when he sees the tiniest hint of a smile pull at virgils lips - the first sign of joy he's shown since being there

"can i please hug you virgil?" he asks

virgil hesitates, ducking his head a little, but then he nods very subtly.

patton carefully scooches closer on the couch and hunches down to wrap his arms around virgil firmly but softly. virgil is tense in his hold, so patton only hugs him for a brief moment before pulling away and smiling down at him

"welcome home kiddo" he whispers

...

so as you can see patton clearly warms up to virgil quickly - it doesnt take logan much longer though virgil is intimidated by him at first and they dont get very close for at least a year. roman hardly speaks to virgil for weeks, and beyond that their interactions are limited to arguments and insults for at least two years. it isnt until virgils third year living there when he helps roman realise he has undiagnosed adhd that they start to get along more, albeit reluctantly at first

i do know a lot more about this time period in the au (and some of it is written) so if you have more questions pls do ask!

[angstandhappiness]

Fools. Dolts. Silly dolts

im gonna be real i had so much fun drawing some of these faces i didnt even pay writing much attention. they both are stupid idiots with stupid idiot faces i just wanna draw their bastard faces!!!!!!!!!!