#i don't write for damian bc it makes me queasy but like if i did this would be so good

[satyricplotter]

ok so wrt last post i was specifically thinking about damian's somewhat skewed understanding of the world as a result of being brought up as he was and how, in an universe where he's not taken to bruce until he's an adult, that'd make pretty good fodder for the "out-of-context person/being doesn't understand the ways in which i am undesirable" trope, which is one of my favourites because it works so well to interrogate and ultimately condemn the systems of oppression that shape the idea of beauty and police desire without being dismissive to the character because to question the conflict means acknowledging the structural aspects that inform insecurity/self-loathing.

a damian that grows up and comes into his own as an adult within the sphere of the league will have 1) vastly differing priorities from the rest of the world 2) an equally differing set of measures and perspectives of what is good and what makes one worthy 2.5) an inherent disdain for everyone and everything that doesn't meet those specific standards, but also, any other system of measuring worth (because he has the Correct one). I don't think he'd be oblivious to what systems of belief and mundane conceptions the rest of the world subscribe to, particularly because I envision an understanding of them to be necessary for his training, but he'd think them beneath him and foreign to himself. i also don't think he'd be entirely removed from them, as he'd naturally be inclined to share whatever his grandfather and mother prioritize in terms of beauty and upkeep (ex. thalia has long hair = mum is beautiful= beautiful women have long hair, or also in the sense of thinking of beauty as a boon) and that'd be influenced by how thalia and ra's interact with the world, but he'd think very little of many fixations and judgements we debate ardently about.

which is very good for a reader who has grown up in a certain context, holding themselves and others to a certain set of standards of beauty, and internalized the fact that straying from that means you are ugly and therefore undesirable. (And I do mean for this reader to be, in some way or the other, ugly, in a real, tangible way. Not oh I'm so fat = is actually skinny and thinks they're somewhat overweight, or I'm beastly = is an average looking person, which we can get very well into when touching the theme of how these systems wrap humans perceptions of themselves, but not for this situation. I'd like here for the things that are objectionable about the reader to actually be real and observable.)

The way I picture it, Damian comes into the reader's environment due to a mission or something (maybe he needs to negotiate before going for the kill idk), which necessitates that he go undercover, and that's when he meets the reader. But the reader is not anyone special, and he doesn't really register them as anything out of the ordinary. He will have pinpointed who in the office is well regarded, which people are handsome or not according to these people's expectations (particularly important if he is to navigate this environment socially for any extended amount of time), and does not file the reader among these people. He may notice vivacious eyes or a pleasing smile, but it's ultimately inconsequential. He may not notice them at all. Until they butt into his plans, or make something go wrong, or revela themselves as key in the matter, or... you get the point. He's forced to turn their attention to them and that's when his attraction comes to build, with the interaction between them. This is baffling to the reader, who is unaccustomed to this degree of attention (in general) from someone so handsome/capable/etc (suspicious). But ultimately, Damian's pursuit takes a knife to the core set of beliefs that dictates their concept of ugliness, or even the fact that the presence of ugliness necessarily implies the absence of desirability.

I just think it's pretty neat