#i don't want to try and socialise any more it's too exhausting and disappointing and i don't know what they expect me to say or what | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stemacademics · 3 months

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a friend shared the stats for placements from our uni (it was laughably bad; we're mainly for research, so not many go for the industry anyway. it's still bad considering how the Institute is Important to and Respected by the Country). and my friend said that the pitiful stats could be us in 5 yrs, to which I replied, “guess we just gotta plow through with Galois’ courage and spirit in our hearts, huh” and the chat went silent.

once again goes to show why I should just stick to whining on my silly little tumblr blog, I guess?

#why. why am i like this.#why do i sabotage myself #i don't want to try and socialise any more it's too exhausting and disappointing and i don't know what they expect me to say or what #is the non-weird thing to say #i don't know what to not say to avoid awkward pauses and they are *absolutely* unbearable when it's a fricking online chat dear god #was what i said actually weird?#idk #im done guys y'all are stuck with me ok #im going to hole up in my room/a corner in the library and do my math/phy/bio and go to classes and labs #and be an annoying little bitch on this silly little blog of mine #yes. solid plan #but honestly. im too scared to ask for constructive feedback to know where im going wrong.#ah. what is this fresh new hell #well. not exactly fresh but guess who thought that having 2 friends throughout middle- and highschool is enough #and no more Friend-Making attempts were required?#i am now cringing so hard i feel an internal sprain #i hope i turn out as a Normally Functioning Adult by some lightning strike #anyways i shall thus subject you all to my maddening existence mwahahaha #jkjk i love y'all too much #but it's going to be in the Annoying Way as true love is #ru rambles #might delete later

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