#i don't want to get any older im tired of inflicting myself upon others im tired of people having to deal with me
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cannot feasibly envision a situation in which my life actually gets better beyond this point :(
#it's been four months#during which time ive attempted suicide 4 times and ive only been happy for short periods of time whilst hanging out with friends#and every other moment has been utter misery#im covered in new scars and my liver's probably fucked due to paracetamol poisoning#everything's just. terminally sad all the time#nothing's ever gonna go right again and if im honest i don't deserve for it to. ive done so many horrible things and im only 22#i don't want to get any older im tired of inflicting myself upon others im tired of people having to deal with me#i want so badly to die before people get tired of me but im probably going to die /because/ people get tired of me#it's my fault for being this replacable and forgettable#people keep telling me im not replacable but its like. bro i am Constantly Replaced#ive been replaced so many times#it's happening to me right now it happened to me over the last 5 years it happened to me all through my childhood#im nothing
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