#i don't wanna spoil anything so I'm not gonna add anymore than that I'm having so much fun with this experimental way of writing

[feminetomboy]

Okay, the fic I'm writing is fully fleshed out, the overarching theme is fully written out, and I just finished scene two, with ah. Six more to go. Thank god Jaiden is gonna be away for most of August because I don't think I could ever finish this if her story progressed in any major way yet again.

[keyenuta]

Twisted Wonderland: Eng Release Ground Rules

First of all, after 84 years of waiting and hoping we've finally got it. An official, Twisted Wonderland localization is arriving in a few agonizing weeks!

Now then, with that out the way, let's get some ground rules set up for the oncoming storm.

Translations, translations, translations: Ok starting off, let's all agree to be calm about differences we see in translations. I know we've all gotten used to fan translations, which speaking of, y'all are the true MVPs. Literally without y'all doing the Herculean task of translating all this text, the fandom would be barely a twinkle in any of our eyes so thank you all so much for your going on 2 years of work. But for the rest of us, let's not get mad if things aren't exactly how we pictured it, some things will have to be changed, some jokes will not work in English.

-Tsunotaro is a big one, they will have to change the joke or translate it directly people

-We've already seen Dormleaders-Housewardens, and Headmaster-Headmage. These are things we will have to get used to like it or not. Now then, since we only have a limited scope on other changes let's move onto

2. Fandoms will Fandom: I know many friends and other people in the community are worried about new people coming into the fandom and being toxic. And as much as I hate it alongside you, if this comes to pass, we must accept its a natural state of the internet. I don't have a solution to this, other than stay to your friend group, ignore the toxic people, or try and spread more positivity that outweighs the bad. And finally, we have to be open minded about new people entering the fandom, not everyone will be a toxic little gremlin, nor will everyone be a perfect angel. We must take people as they come and not try and generalize new people. Because if we act uppity and give new people the wrong impression of us, they will feel jaded and then spread more negativity. Basically it's good to be worried, but let's not be gatekeeping people, we all enjoy the game and the characters so let's allow others to enjoy it too like we did.

3. Spoilers: This is gonna be the shortest one, but it's important as well, when the game is officially out for English, we have to be careful not to spoil new people as best we can. We don't know how they'll release the chapters yet, but assuming it's like Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 at launch, as hard as it will be, just please be careful with spoilers of future chapters. New people deserve to go in fresh like we did.

4: Just don't be Toxic: This is a general rule but it connects to everything else, just don't be toxic as we're all here to just enjoy ourselves. If you see drama you don't wanna be a part of, or see a person who's toxic, use the block button and treat yourself to what you enjoy in the fandom. No one toxic is worth your time and mental health.

5. Gacha rules: This is just be careful with your money, this is still a gacha after all so just be responsible. Only spend when you can afford to, and stop yourself if you're spending too much. You don't need everything at the cost of you paying rent or affording food and basic necessities. I'm sure you can get some things again at one point or another, Disney doesn't need anymore money, especially your own.

Soooo, yeah these are my 5, don't be jerks list for when the game gets released, thanks for coming to my ted talk!

And if you have anything to add, please reblog and add what rules you'd want to see as well!

Pre-registration begins Dec 21

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Six

Words: 3K

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, drug abuse

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

The only sound is the clock ticking on our lawyer's desk, and the soft pattering of rain coming down.

"Just sign and initial and we'll get these back to the judge for approval." Nikki's lawyer tells us and I rub my lips together. 

We both grab the pens he hands over to us, hesitantly, and Nikki clears his throat, his hand hovering over the first page of lines to be signed.

If he signs them, I'll sign them, I say to myself. 

His pen presses to the paper, and it's as if he's trying to force himself to sign them...nothing happens, though. 

The lawyer notices this. 

"They can't be registered for approval if they're not signed." He adds, looking at the both of us. 

Nikki just rolls his eyes and taps his foot, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask him softly, hoping to God he says, "no." 

"Yeah, Vivian. I'm sure." He states, still looking at the papers, pen still…

I get the "V" of my signature written and he looks down and scribbles across his paper, standing up. 

"Fuck this, c'mon." He hisses and I look at him, wide eyed as he grabs my hand and pulls me up. 

"W-What?" I ask. 

"I'm retracting." He tells his lawyer as he walks out, taking me with him. 

"Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" I ask him, confused as we walk down the stairs of the law firm. 

"I've broken every fuckin' vow except 'till death do us part' and I'll be fucked to hell if we stuck it out and stayed with each other after the worst bullshit just to fucking divorce." He tells me. 

One Month Earlier

I went to see him to try to understand where exactly we were in our relationship, if he even really wanted a divorce or if he was just wanted to start over, but, like always…

"I don't understand why you're being so stubborn, Viv--"

"--Because you want me to sign papers you filed less than 24 hours after you freaking died, Nikki!" I whisper yell. 

"I assure you, I'm well aware!" He replies in the same quiet tone. "Sign the fucking papers."

"None of my grandparents ever divorced, my parents aren't divorced, I am not getting divorced. I'm a Christian, we don't do divorce." 

"Well, you're not supposed to do sex before marriage or adultery, either, but that sure as shit didn't keep your panties on." He mumbles. 

"Do you really bring up who did what because I assure you, your list is a hell of a lot longer than mine." I reply. 

"Oh, is it?" 

"Oh, it so is and you know it is." 

He covers his ears and glare at him, flaring my nostrils. 

"Are you serious right now?" 

"I can't hear you." He tells me and I reach across the table and snatch his hands away from his ears, scowling. 

"You are acting like a child right now!" I scold him. 

"Now you know how I feel while trying to get you to just sign the damn papers!" He replies, crossing his arms. "But if you stay like this I might reconsider." He adds, his eyes on my chest where I'm leaning over. 

"You aren't even taking this seriously, Nikki." I shove at his shoulder before sitting back down and he chuckles. 

"I am, too," He argues. "You just look good." 

"You're changing the subject." 

"I can't compliment you?" 

"Not when it's just to change the subject." 

"I'm not changing the subject."

"Just like you to file for a divorce and then not want to discuss it with the woman who's put everything into the marriage you want wiped from existence." 

"Now, you're pissing me off." 

"You pissed me off when I got those damn papers with no warning."

"That's a lie, Vivian, the past year has been a fucking warning--especially with the amount of times you've thrown divorce in my face if I didn't straighten up. Remember that?"

"That's different. It was incentive to get you to act right."

"I didn't have any 'act right' left in me by that point." He states. "Unless it was for you." He smirks and I kick him under the table. 

"Quit being a pervert." 

"That's not perverted."

"This is a serious talk, Nikki, and you're trying to get out of it."

He opens his mouth to talk but I cut him off. 

"And I swear to God if you say, 'I'm trying to get you out of something,' I'm going to come across this table and make you wish you had died." 

"Is that a promise?" He raises a brow.

"I forgot how ridiculously immature sober Nikki is." I hiss. 

"No, no, baby, this isn't even 'sober' Nikki. This is 'I don't have even the slightest sprinkle of anything in me for the first time in ten fucking years and I'm slowly starting to lose my fucking mind just a little bit' Nikki. Now just imagine staying married to this." He explains to me and I cut my eyes. 

"Why the hell are you trying to convince me to want to divorce you?" 

"Because you told me to fucking divorce you, remember?" 

I furrow my brows. 

"The day I got home and we got into that argument and you told me to just divorce you. So I'm trying to." 

"You know that's not what I meant, Nikki." 

"What the fuck did you mean, Vivian, because you fucking said, 'just divorce me then'." 

"I didn't mean the next fucking day." 

"You're crazy." He tells me. 

"I'm crazy? I tried to throw myself off of a balcony when I thought you died and you thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me hours later?! Are you sure I'm the only crazy one?!" 

"You told me you wanted out--multiple times." 

"And you told me you loved me." 

"Oh, oh, oh, woah, woah, wait a damn minute, that was a fucking coke binge mixed with alcohol, talking."

"Wasn't much talking, just a lot of crying and begging." I point out and he shakes his head a little, rolling his jaw. "Just for you to come home and file for divorce." 

"Fuck you, Vivian."

"Fuck you, Nikki." 

We both puff up and pout, arms crossed, glaring at each other with "go to hell" looks. 

"...So?" Doc asks us when he comes back to check in on us. 

"She's still that bratty little spoiled prude that would argue with me for the hell of it that she was when I first fucking met her." He snaps. 

"And he's still Satan's evil Spawn." I bark. 

"I'm about to take you to the bathroom." He threatens me. 

"I'd rather have sex with Bret Michaels." I shoot back. 

"At the rate you're going, I believe it." 

"Do we need to talk about the threesome you had with Tansy and Vanity, now, or…?" 

"Wasn't Tansy." He states. 

"Really? Then who was it with?"

"Let's not do this here." Doc says quietly, apparently we're getting louder than we thought, other visitors and patients glancing at us uncomfortably. 

I wanna see them be married to Nikki Sixx and try to handle their shit quietly. 

"Sign the damn papers, Vivian." Nikki tells me as I stand up, grabbing my purse and scoffing. 

"You and your damn papers can go burn." I mumble to him.

"You know I'm right!" He calls after me, I just flick him off, turning my hand to him as I walk away.

When I get back to the house, I'm faced with the boxes I've got stacked and packed, groaning at the mess I've made trying to get our things sorted out--well, my things. 

"Viv?!" Sharise calls from our guest bedroom. 

"It's me!" I call back, hearing Whisky running from where she is to me. 

"Hey, baby boy." I greet him, patting his head. 

"I didn't know what to do with this," she carries down the big white box with my wedding dress in it. "And Sky's asleep, she's had a big afternoon with woof-woof." She states, using Skylar's nickname for Whisky. 

"Aww," I say and take the box from her and carry it to the dinner table. "I haven't opened this since we got married." 

"I wonder if you could still wear it." She adds and I raise my brows. 

"Hell, if I know." I mumble. "I'm not gonna need it anymore."

"Oh, don't say that." She tells me. 

"He's serious about the divorce, Sharise." I state. 

"He's gone through a lot of stuff, Viv. You both have. He's not thinking clearly." 

"Well, I am, and I don't want a freaking divorce." 

"Yeah, but that's you." She reminds me. "I'm sorry it's something you're having to go through but you don't need to be with someone that wants to leave the marriage." 

"I guess." 

"Or you two will work things out and it'll be fine." She says next, optimistic. 

"Work it out…"

I'm hunched over the toilet a week later at the house, puking my guts up, trying to take deep breaths as I think I finish, only to be met with another wave of vomit, my throat and nose burning as regurgitated stomach acid stings at it.

"Shit." I grumble to myself, taking deep breaths…

I glare at the positive pregnancy tests--the reason for my nausea, mainly. 

"Damnit, Vivian." I say to myself, tiredly, trying not to start crying.

Whisky's standing under me and I just sit on the bathroom floor and cry, hugging the dog when he gets closer to me to run his nose against my hand. 

What the hell am I going to do? What the hell am I going to tell Duff? What am I going to tell Nikki? I want him to stay with me but I'm pregnant with a baby that isn't even his. I know he knows about me and Duff, now, but a baby from it would be a constant reminder that, "hey, remember that time you and your wife fucking hated each other and she fucked Duff McKagan while you were overdosing?" 

I hit myself internally, wiping my eyes. 

I knew this was a risk, so I'm not surprised--just pissed at myself. 

I'm not on birth control, I don't like condoms, I'm lucky I don't have an STD but a fucking baby with Duff? 

What's my dad going to think? 

What's Duff's family going to think, especially if by some miracle Nikki and I do stay together...what will happen with his chance to find someone else. Most women in their 20s in L.A. don't want to play step-mom right now. 

The press will have a field day with this…

My mind shifts to Nikki's granddad.

Damn it. 

I glance at the clock that reads 1:34a.m. and let out a breath, exhausted, before opening the bathroom drawer and putting the pregnancy test in it, sniffling. 

I rummage through our cabinets for something to help me sleep, finding some NyQuil.

I decide to take it since the only reason I had a reaction to it last time was because I mixed it with my antidepressant, and I go lay down, looking at Whisky getting in beside me, laying on Nikki's side of the bed, my mind plucking at a familiar sight not too long ago.

"Where the hell is Nikki at?!" I hear Doc shout over the bustle backstage, and I furrow my brows, stopping my conversation with Tawny Kitaen--who's here with David Coverdale--as Doc looks at me. 

"You know where the fuck Sixx is?" He snaps at me. 

"No, I came with Sharise and Heather." I tell him. 

"Is Nikki even fucking here?!" He shouts next. 

"How the hell am I supposed to know, Doc?!" I yell back, getting pissed. 

"Maybe because you're his wife?" I hear someone cut in, sounding irritated, and I slowly turn around and see Bobby Dall leaned against an amp, his arms crossed. 

"Maybe lick my twat." I snap back, harshly. 

"I'm missing a fucking bassist that's supposed to go on in fifteen fucking minutes!" Doc yells over everybody, making me and Bobby shut up our bickering that's about to inevitably start. "Has anybody seen or heard anything from Nikki Sixx?!" 

We all glance at each other, not saying a word. 

"Fuck!" He outbursts, storming away to call the office back home. 

Bobby huffs out a breath and pushes past me and Tawny, while I just glare daggers into him. 

It was Day on the Green, a big music festival in Oakland, California, and on the second day, Whitesnake, Poison, and Mötley Crüe were set to perform. But once it was Mötley's turn, nobody could find Nikki. I had come with Sharise and Heather. Nikki had attempted to kick smack, again, so we all thought that's what delayed his arrival...come to find out…

"I've been up three fucking days freebasing, Tommy, alright?" He snaps to a pissed off Tommy and Vince after, "You're fucking shooting up again," leaves Tommy's lips. 

The guys are pissed off--the most pissed I've ever seen them at Nikki--and the fans, who've been waiting for nearly an unacceptable amount of time for Mötley Crüe, are bustling with impatience as Nikki steadily drinks from a bottle of Jack to bring himself down some.

He glances at me and snarls. 

"Get her outta here. I can't do shit with her looking at me like I'm dead." He snaps to Fred and I roll my jaw and leave him be.

By the time the show goes on, it's so obvious that Nikki's out of it, his eyes wide and wild, his brain fried…

Once the part of the show happens where Vince brings out bottles of Jack for Nikki and Tommy to chug on stage, I feel my eyes water, seeing Nikki scrambling to get up where he threw himself down the stage, to grab the fifth of Jack from Vince. 

He chugs half, Tommy chugs half, and when Nikki comes to grab some water to try to keep up and finish the show as strong as he can, he takes two big gulps of water and hisses a bit of it back up, coughing and hacking. 

I'm assuming he grabbed Micks straight vodka by accident. 

The show ends soon, and Nikki's slobbering drunk, looking tired and worn down. 

"I'm fuckin' going home." He tells Doc, pushing past him. "Vivian, baby, c'mon." He tells me, surprisingly gentle, slurring and taking heavy breaths. 

I think he's just that damn tired. 

"You don't want to stay and try to sober up some?" I ask him, calmly. 

"No, I just wanna go home." He repeats. 

I tell the girls and boys, 'bye,' right before Doc hammers us with when we need to be at the airport to leave for the next shows on the tour. 

I can see Nikki being bombarded with Doc, bitching him out for being late while simultaneously threatening him if he doesn't get his shit together before they do the next line of shows...his eyes growing more and more distant with each word. 

"You know how many fuckin' people you disappointed tonight, Nikki?" Doc asks him next. 

"Doc, he gets it, alright." I interrupt since Nikki's not saying anything to him. I take Nikki's hand and pull him to the door. 

"He obviously doesn't get it, Vivian." He bites at my heels, following after us. 

"I get it, you're pissed, but can we please do this another time?" I hiss, snapping around to him, glancing around at the different roadies backstage, some of the members of other bands and their girlfriends and wives looking uncomfortable with Nikki getting his metaphorical asshole torn into a million pieces by Doc. 

"You've both been saying that for the past year, Vivian, so no. We can't do this another time." Doc tells me, fed up. 

"Well, me and him are." I argue, turning back around and grabbing Nikki's arm to keep walking.  

Nikki's not even here mentally. It's like he's sedated. 

"Just go ahead and enable him, Vivian." Doc outbursts to me, still behind us with each step, and I turn and throw my fist to his face as hard and fast as I can, hearing a satisfying crack in his cheek. 

Eyes widen around us, Fred is rubbing his face as he steps to us, Tommy, Vince and Mick glaring at me...they can all think Nikki Sixx married a batshit bitch. 

I don't care anymore.

When we get on the plane Nikki flew in on, he sits down and stays quiet as I sit across from him. 

The only thing he tells me the entire hour and a half worth of flight is, "I've fucking done it again," I'm assuming in reference to messing things up. 

He locks himself in the closet when we get home, and I spend the night wide awake, staring at Whisky where he's laying on Nikki's side of the bed.

"You and me again." I say to him, reaching out and rubbing his head as he stretches.

I blink the memory back, still looking at Whisky. 

"You and me again."

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ali

Fraze being a real cunt

Fraze: Sort it out for fuck's sake. Ali joined the chat 101 minutes ago Ali: Nah, youse the ones having to deal with her, so I shan't Fraze: Yeah I am so stop being a twat. Fraze: Or stay round Caleb's and really do ma in. Ali: 😂🖕  Unlucky Ali: And I am, I'll drop the kids round at some point so youse can see them but I've got shit to do so I won't be staying Fraze: Big of you. Fair dues though throwing a tantrum can be an all dayer when you're such a brat. Ali: Boo hoo, you're the one crying to me 'cos you can't stomach her for five seconds Ali: Give a shit, Fraze, this doesn't involve you Fraze: I was trying to appeal to you 'cause it's Christmas and dad wants you there but fuck off then. Ali: That's the spirit Ali: Why would I wanna be there? I'll see dad, and everyone else who isn't being mad cunty, in my own time Ali: I've got no need to commit to another day of this shite Fraze: Keep being a selfish cunt it's not like I want you there after you threw me under the bus calling me one of ma's failures Ali: Yeah? Glad I won't be missed then, no hurt feelings all round Ali: And go to ma for comfort, she'll happily tell you the truth will set you free on that score Fraze: I'm not the one whose proper hurt. She is. You don't give a shit but the rest of us do. Do me a favor and gimme a time you're coming so I can be out. Ali: Well she ain't the only one but the only one that matters, right? Ali: Then console her with how much of a success you are, console yourself whilst you're at it Fraze: Fuck you. You're such a spoiled bitch. You're hurt 'cause what she told you to man up and tell Ro Drew's a cheating scumbag woe's you Fraze: Just 'cause you feel guilty no need to make ma feel it worse Ali: I'm not the one crying 'cos I've not got my way here Ali: Its hilarious you believe everything she tells you 'cos that ain't the conversation I had with her Ali: Like she needs any help with her guilt complex Fraze: Aren't you? Ruining christmas 'cause you didn' t get your way for once ain't no better. Fraze: I'm surprised you wanna bother bringing your kids around if she's such a shit mum Ali: Who's ruining anything? She doesn't want me there, you don't, like I said, I'll make the effort to see the people who want to see me too Ali: Well I'm all for second chances, even if she thinks they're bullshit Fraze: Act like it then. Give her one. Ali: I am. Ali: She hasn't taken it yet Fraze: You haven't offered it. All you've done is avoided her Ali: That's how you see it. You don't live here, don't act like you're involved in this family any more. She sees me multiple times a week, she's had ample opportunity, I'm not the one hiding Fraze: Neither do you. Until Caleb upsets you and you come running back. You see her too. Why's it all on her? Ali: Grow up. Ali: I'll make myself and my children homeless, shall I? Ali: Not all of us bum the moral high ground as much as you, you moron Ali: Because its never on her Ali: She needs to learn to apologize when she's the one in the wrong, its not hard Fraze: You're the idiot that needs to grow up. Fraze: If its so easy do it Fraze: You can't even own the shit you said Fraze: Except her to kiss your feet though don't ya? Fraze: Hypocrite Ali: No, because I'm NOT in the wrong Ali: Keep up Ali: I know what I said Ali: and I haven't felt the need to be telling tales on what she said Ali: which is evidently all she's been doing so yeah, I'm good pal Fraze: Fuck you. She didn't rat you out, princess I overheard her telling dad why he's precious fave wouldn't be at the table Ali: Then you shouldn't be so nosy, should you Fraze: Yeah its all my bad. None of yours. Get a fucking clue. Ali: What's this got to do with you? Fraze: Oh fuck all except I wanted a nice family Christmas for my kids like we used to have Fraze: I'm the selfish one of course Ali: You aren't going to find it here Ali: you're not a child, any more, it isn't going to be that fantasy you've got in your head Ali: if you wanted that, take 'em to disney world Fraze: Cheers for the ma impression while she's radio silent Fraze: But don't speak on my childhood or how I raise my kids again 'cause you know less than nothing about either Ali: Please, you're 4 years older than me, don't act like I wasn't there Ali: You don't get to control the narrative Fraze: Why not you are Fraze: You don't get to tell me what's a fantasy Ali: Believe it if it makes you any happier Ali: evidently not Ali: it was what it was for all of us, we can all say how we found it but the stories aren't gonna add up and that'll create dissonance, hohum Ali: it doesn't matter either way Fraze: No it was what it was for you 3 and it was what it was for Joe, Bea and me Fraze: which matters to me Fraze: even if you're an ungrateful cunt these days Fraze: and apparently always were Ali: Yeah yeah yeah, and it was different for ma and da Ali: like I said, no one wants your war stories Ali: its different for us, you all agree, so stop pushing your bullshit onto us making us try to 'learn' from you Fraze: But it's fine for you to spout all your bullshit, yeah? One fucking rule for Ali Mckenna as per Ali: am I asking you to listen? Ali: I don't want to be talking to you, as per, you came screaming at me, like she did Fraze: Fuck off then I'm done Ali: ta ta dearest brother you're really good at this Ali: just like mummy Fraze: I ain't trying to be good to you I don't owe you shit Fraze: I was trying to help ma who I do Fraze: But forget it 'cause she's better off not talking to ya Ali: and I owe nothing to you, you can try and hold seniority over people for a while but don't act surprised when they tire of the lectures Ali: I sincerely hope so Ali: FYI, you're your own person, she'd like you to know that, according to her, you're NOTHING to do with her Fraze: FYI I already know that. I own up to my own shit good and bad. Fraze: If that's news to you suddenly too bad Ali: Hahahaha Ali: no, THAT is news to me Fraze: I thought you had shit to do Ali: Sick burn, some of us can multitask Fraze: Tell someone who gives a fuck Ali: Oh, you are VERY bad at appearing non-plussed Ali: your entire life experience should tell you that Ali: the only person you've got fooled is yourself Fraze: Thanks doctor fraud Fraze: throw that all seeing bullshit lens on yourself Ali: ??? Ali: You screaming at me for however the fuck long=me not WANTING to say sorry Ali: wowee, what a revelation Fraze: Just keep doing what you want. Please yourself like you always do Fraze: I won't see you later Ali: its only what our darling mother would want Ali: she's a bad person, don't you know Fraze: She thinks she is yeah. No thanks to you Fraze: really helping to change her mind ain't ya Ali: Sorry I'm such a disappointment, there you can have that one Ali: I mean it Fraze: Good you should be sorry too bad I ain't the one that wants to hear it Ali: you can tell her yourself Ali: it isn't my job to mother my own mother Ali: she wont give you a gold star but you can whack off to how smug you'll feel Fraze: Fuck you. I mean that. Ali: I don't care Ali: None of us love each other, its all falling apart Ali: I don't fucking care Fraze: You don't love us anymore now you've got your cosy set up that ain't the same thing Fraze: Good luck to you. Ali: Bullshit Ali: Joe's gone, Tommy left as soon as he feasibly could and he's only back 'cos he's got no other option Ali: You're busy pretending you're someone else Ali: and I won't be here soon either, so why delay the inevitable, it's all gone Ali: and I haven't got sod all 'cosy' literally what the hell do you know, all I've got is MY kids Ali: and they need me more than Tess ever did, I was surplus to requirements from the jump there Fraze: Some genius you are. You don't have a fucking clue. Joe's an addict, he's struggling. Tommy has been doing what he loves which meant he had to move. Also not about you sorry princess kitty kat. I'm trying to build a future same as you. It's hardly end of days. Fraze: Sorry you're not the centre of everyone's universe for one sec. Fraze: And everything ain't rosy all the damn time. Big deal. Ali: and why is he an addict? hmm? lets explore that shall we Ali: Bea's the only one building anything Ali: you're on her coattails Ali: its never been rosy that's my fucking point! Ali: and i'm sorry i've got sick of pretending its anything close to rn Ali: because it isn't and we all know it, aren't you all sick of pretending Fraze: That ain't for me or you to say. You'd have to ask him Fraze: You don't know shit about what I'm achieving or not you patronising twat Fraze: Nobody's asking for that except you and none of us are pretending either we're just making the best of what we've got which is apparently optional for you now you're over it Fraze: Life don't have to be exactly what you want for it to be worth a fucking damn Fraze: Stop acting like you're above us all and be with us Ali: Except I can't because he's gone. He's gone and you didn't give us a chance to say goodbye, no, I'll be as selfish as you want me to be, you didn't give ME a chance to say goodbye Ali: Oh yeah, my life is fucking peachy, I'm so great Ali: Everyone fucking hates me, is that the teen angst you want? Well whoop there it is. Everyone in this fucking town looks down their nose at me or outright abuses me on the daily, the kids I'm too young to have have a part-time dad and heaven forbid I act my age, my own family tell me to fuck off and die in a ditch, or tell me what an awful person I am Ali: there it is, yuk it up 'cos I don't know what else you want from me Ali: I have NOTHING to give, I'm so sorry I'm not worth my place in the tribe Fraze joined the chat 29 minutes ago Fraze: Put that and whatever else you gotta on me. It don't matter. I did what I did and I'd do it again. For him. Fraze: Boo fucking hoo. Deal with it. Nobody made those choices but you. Those kids don't need your sob story they need you to decide what the fuck you and Caleb are doing. Together or apart. Fraze: You don't get to act your age 'cause you're somebody's fucking ma now and its on you to let them be kids. Fraze: If you can't hack that you shouldn't of done it. Simple as. Fraze: As for the pity party you're having about us, nobody said anything like that. Calm down or keep projecting I don't care. Ali: Of course you would, no one matters but the sacred three. I know that, no need to remind me when you spend every waking day showing us exactly where we are in the pecking order Ali: This is a joke, what have I said to you, and mum, what is ALL I said Ali: we didn't need theirs, we didn't need yours Ali: but we got it Ali: and yet I'm nothing like my mother and my problems are NOTHING like hers Ali: I dare you to call her a spoilt bitch Ali: Wow, write a pamphlet. Ali: Read back what you've said, I'm not telling you what you said, you'll only say its bullshit. Just read it Ali: I just Ali: Never mind Fraze: You're a joke, Ali. Fraze: Your situation is nothing like ma's. You've had so much support all round. Like fuck are you working 4 jobs you're going to uni, you have multiple people willing to help with your kids and anything else at the drop of a hat Fraze: She had nothing but da. Fraze: I know what I said and didn't say. Spin it how you want just like with whatever mum said. Fraze: I'm not going in circles with you. Ali: That's all your doing Ali: our entire lives is one big circle revolving around them Ali: please tell me how hard she had it again Ali: as if that makes an iota of difference to my struggle Ali: so much support? Ali: I feel it Fraze: It should make a difference to your fucking behavior Fraze: but whatever I'm sick of this and if you can bail so can I Ali: Why? Ali: Why should it Fraze: It's called empathy brainiac Ali: No, it isn't Ali: that's the past, empathy is doing fuck all to change what it was Ali: you show empathy to the people who need it Ali: in the now Fraze: she does still need it in the now Ali: and i don't? Fraze: You get a shit ton of it Ali: WHERE Ali: I'm a joke, I'm a fuck up, I'm a cunt Ali: I'm not doing enough to help Ro Ali: I'm not doing enough for mum Ali: I'm a bad mother who shouldn't have had her kids Ali: there is nothing Ali: I'm not pulling this out of thin air, Fraze Fraze: You're pulling it out of your arse 'cause you wanna feel sorry for yourself and for everyone else to Fraze: You think I ain't been called shit. Made mistakes. We all have including mum Ali: Please do bring it back round to you and mum Ali: continue to prove my point Ali: call me crazy and tell me i'm making it all up Fraze: I didn't say that I said you're making a meal of it Fraze: build a bridge and get the fuck over it Fraze: talk to the people you gotta to change shit Fraze: Or just keep crying to me Fraze: what's that gonna do? Ali: Yeah, silly me for trying to get my own brother to care Ali: that's not how families are meant to work Fraze: I'm still here talking to you ain't I Fraze: you're the one not caring Ali: of course, what a cold bitch Fraze: You wish Ali: no i don't Ali: even if no one respects the fact that i have feelings that can get hurt just like the rest of you do Fraze: Again, literally nobody's ever said that Fraze: we're just trying to get you to tell ma your feelings are hurt Fraze: at least Ali: actions speak louder than words, even though your words HAVE been fucking horrible and you aren't convincing me otherwise Ali: she knows...she's the one who hurt them Fraze: and you hurt hers too Fraze: and Fraze: I don't know what else I can do here Fraze: this ain't even my fight as you said Ali: i know, i was the one who did it Ali: yeah a real impasse we find ourselves in Fraze: Do whatever it is you're gonna 'cause I can't multitask and I do actually have shit that needs doing despite what you think Ali: i was planning to