#i don't wanna get into an argument with anybody over this though so if you wanna come at me i'm not engaging

[carbonateddelusion]

I'm ngl HH/HB have interesting writing when it comes to lore and the animation and character designs are something I like..... but the actual character writing (esp in the case of. Stella) and lack of growth is kinda fucky. On one hand, we've only had a small handful of episodes when you compare it to big budget cartoons that air on TV or streaming services, but on the other it still feels like they're lacking a lil. there's also some pretty blatant cultural insensitivity issues

as for the behavior of the people on staff, most of the animators seem nice enough. Viv herself gives me the ick a little. I don't think she's the worst person in the world (I used to admire her a lot at one point), buuuut it's someone I would try to avoid. she makes me uncomfortable. the harassment and bullying is never okay though, whether it be from the creator, critics, or fans

[a-hazbin-reader]

Hi 👋🏽 I really like your stuff! I was wondering; could we possibly have some platonic headcanons for Husk where he has this unspoken kind of parent-kid relationship with the reader?

And the funny thing is that some of the others speculate that it’s no coincidence that the reader’s weirdly good at cards. Like, the reader doesn’t look exactly like him per say, but they bare enough of a resemblance to him that it has the other wondering is Husk could have possibly (unknowingly) had a kid while he was alive. No one knows. Not even us.

♦️ plz, and thank you ♥️

This is so fucking cute!!

Husk X Reader Headcanons

❌️Romantic

✅️Platonic

TW: Reader being a sad baby, Kidnapping, Underage drinking, Harassment, Reader needs help fr

Description: ☝️⬆️

Sure, technically you were an adult but you're also still just a kid

You thought you knew everything, you thought you were grown and didn't need to rely on anybody

You didn't need to open up to anybody, you grew up tough and went out like a badass

You weren't hurt or angry at the world at all

It's your attitude towards these things that makes Husk look out for you, keeping a watchful eye on you even when you don't want him to

You're trying to get a drink at a bar?? He's dragging you out and telling you that you're too young for that shit

Fucking hypocrite you drink all the time

You're getting into a fight with someone 10x your fucking size?? Husk is there to tackle them and take you home

Lectures you the entire way back if you're the one who started it

Some sleazy motherfucker is hitting on you?(Or even if it's not someone sleazy really) He's there to tell them to keep walking

Even if you don't want them to

BRO WTF

Even the others at the hotel slip up and call him your dad which just pisses you off even more

"Angel! Let me have a drink!!"

"No way, kid! Your pops would totally kill me if I let you get wasted!"

Definitely causes some arguments between you two, the kind that makes everyone else in the hotel scatter

"You're not in charge of me, Husk! Just leave me alone!!"

"You think you got it all figured out, don't you? Well you fucking don't! You're not the biggest baddest thing out there! Hell, you're not even the baddest thing in this hotel!"

Not Alastor giving you cheeky wave as he walks by

Once the fight reaches it's peak then you storm off, fed up with being treated like a child

"I don't need a father so just back off!"

Husk needs a drink

Fine, let's see how you like it when nobody is looking out for you

You and Husk don't speak for awhile after that but you're too stubborn to admit that you miss him

You begin to act out whether you realize it or not, wanting him to come and yell at you like he used to

It was actually nice having someone who cared enough about you to fight with you over your choices

So you take your newfound freedom and sneak into a club that you've been trying to get into for awhile

You meet some fun people and party with them, drinking every drink they slide your way, dancing with whoever grabbed you

After awhile though you begin to feel dizzy and sick, you desperately need some fresh air

And some water

"Hey where you going, squirt??? We're just getting started!!"

Hey let go-

Ow! That hurts! Why are you grabbing so hard!?

I said let go of me-

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

HUSK-

You nearly cry at the sight of him, fur bristling with anger, wings spread out, arms crossed

You break away and run to him immediately, hugging him tight and relaxing as he wraps a protective arm around you

You'll blame it on the alcohol later

"You okay, kid?"

You don't see how he never takes his eyes off your friends turned attackers

You just nod and hide your face in his chest, squeezing him tighter

"I wanna go home..."

Husk immediately softens up and carries you home, making sure nobody follows the two of you

He takes care of you the entire night and has a hangover remedy ready for you in the morning

No lecture from him this time, he just quietly takes care of you then leaves

Charlie and Vaggie will later tell you that he stayed with you the whole night, refusing to leave your side

You'll have to seek him out on your own once you feel better, sitting on a bar stool and clearing your throat

"I'm not going to fix you a drink so just forget it-"

"Thank you...for...you know..."

Husk visibly softens up once he registers your words, sighing as he sets his rag down

It takes all of his strength to power through his next words, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable

Telling you that he's not trying to baby you when he stops you from doing certain things, or when he tells you that you're too young

He's just trying to look out for you because he cares about you

And no matter how angry with him you get, he'll always come bail you out of trouble and you can always come to him with anything

Sure, he might not be your father but he's definitely your daddy

Wait fuck that came out wrong

DON'T YOU LAUGH AT HIM

It sounded cool in the movie!!

It's not that funny!! You are ruining the moment

Husk is so fucking embarrassed now, forget he said anything

Freezes up when you suddenly leap across the counter to hug his neck, squeezing him in a way that makes his heart melt

Hugs you back while awkwardly petting your head, feeling like his old heart is about to burst

"Thanks for everything, Husk~"

NO HE'S NOT CRYING

I GOT VERY CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS I'M SORRY!! I hope you still enjoy it!!

[wonton4rang]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roll the dice ¡!

pairing: bnd legal line x reader.

warnings: +18, smut, breeding, mentioned of birth control and pills, idk.

summary: bnd legal line mtl to use condom/ like breeding.

note: this came to me in a vision fr fr.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sungho; he is a certified lover boy, like a husband material type of guy so i personally don't think he would like to breed you :( unless ofc it's to actually have a kid and not for the fantasy if you know what i mean. he would get worried about you because he knows how pills or birth control might affect you and he wouldn't like to purposely put you through that. it might happen accidentally tho and i can see him with wide open eyes and looking at you in panic after he finishes inside by mistake, he couldn't hold it this time and he is so ashamed and sorry :(( constantly whispering against your cheeks littles "i'm sorry, baby, so sorry" it's mainly because he feels guilty but you reassure him that is fine, you are under birth control for a reason!!

riwoo; i think he would do what you think and what you like, you like him to wear a condom? he will. you like him to come inside? he will. you like both but it depends on your mood and the day and on the weather and the conversations you've got that same day??? he's fine with that too!! just let him know please because otherwise, how would he know? riwoo is very similar to sungho's case but this one is kinda nonchalant about the why itself, he just knows he will do whatever makes you feel and be good. he just loves you so much but he is also kinda scared to ask because he doesn't wanna be nosey or you to think he wants to do something you don't :')

jaehyun; well, i got you news. bad or good it'll depend on your own perspective. but this dude??? he would want to breed the shit out of you (or into you) he could and will get so into the moment that it would just come naturally, he couldn't hold it or he didn't want to, i see him as a very submissive person when it comes to sex but he definitely also have his days where he would take control, still having you ride him as usual but controlling your pace and holding your hips on place when he felt his dick twitch and his orgasm so near "please, stay put, let me come inside this time" but it was more of an announcement, he was just letting you know because even though you let him, he wasn't able to hold it anymore :( poor boy is just so sensitive and so into you.

taesan; i think he wouldn't directly be into it bUT taesan is also a very curious boy so i just know he would like to try it at least to know what it is about. one time won't hurt anybody, right? problem was it wasn't just one time. he is not the type to be angry often but he is one to hold hard feelings for a while afterwards so i strongly expect angry sex w taesan after an argument probably over some jealousy or a disagreement about something in the house and he just has to demonstrate you that he is the man of the relationship, having sex with you and looking right into your eyes before coming deep into your pulsating cunt. you wouldn't say anything about it because honestly?? the way he looked down on you, how his cock throbbed inside of you and the way his wet lips kissed yours was so hot and endearing that you just enjoyed.

leehan; "jaehyun does it sometimes" he would say when trying to convince you "his girlfriend let's him, she doesn't mind" and you would just laugh a little bit before answering "well, i do, so forget about it and help me with this, would you?" he would be pouty all day long, complaining about how unfair it was for you to not let him try it at least once!! he was dating you and he was not planning on leaving your side so that means he will NEVER get to try it. omg, he was gonna faint. but you were too soft, too into him to forbid him and take that away from his grasp without even letting him taste it once. "babe" you called "about what you said earlier" his eyes flew to yours when he lifted his eyebrows in expectation "i am willing to do it, but just this time, yes? it really gets uncomfortable with the pills sometimes" and he would be so happy and grateful for you, fucking a baby into you all night long, because yes, you said just this time, not how many times.

so after giving you my thoughts on each, I'll go as it follows:

MOST.

jaehyun. yeah, for the first time in those mtl things i do the #1 is not leehan but goddamn it, jaehyun just screams "breeding" and then sobbing when he comes down of his high and thinks y'all are gonna have triplets (not that he doesn't want to but nOT NOW)

leehan. been there, done that, he would like to do it just to laugh about it, for the sake of it. he would enjoy it so much too omg (i need him!!)

taesan. already explained this one but he is basically with one foot on each side, is not that he doesn't like it but he won't do it on a daily basis because he doesn't think it's that big of a deal.

riwoo. like taesan, it's not that he doesn't like it but he would just go with the flow of whatever you want.

sungho. yeah, how bout no? <3 he ain't dealing w shit after that and he cares too much about you to make you worried or through some pain or something w the pills so yeah. but he does kinda like it, he just can't enjoy it fully because all the preoccupations won't let him.

LEAST.

[clangenrising]

I'll be honest, I'm not sure how to feel about Moon 20. I was raised on purity culture and because of that sex is an uncomfortable topic for me, even though I wish it wasn't. I was exposed to that sorta stuff young (not sa, just unrestricted internet access lol) and it did sorta traumatize me, so I just find it disturbing to include sexual references in content that A, is made for a fandom primarily intended for children (which a content creator has to keep in mind regardless of if their content is actually for children imo) and B, has a cast of animals (I'm not saying this equals zoophilic content, but it still feels weird from where I'm standing. I know animals have sex and that it's normal, but I don't want to read about that).

I understand your argument and I appreciate that you offered trigger warnings, though. Idk, part of me wants to be supportive of content that doesn't kink shame and instead educates about different kinks, but I also see why people are getting upset over that moon.

You say that it's first and foremost fiction so even zoophilic content would be fine, but fiction is highly influential, even if it's intended to just be a fantasy. It's like if someone wrote offensive material; that material can subconsciously affect people's mindsets. Obviously if someone goes and fucks an animal that's their choice, it's just that providing content for that sort of stuff really just leans into teaching people it's okay and encouraging it when harmful paraphilias like that need therapeutic attention.

I just wanted to share my thoughts in hopes it might spark some good discussion.

Hey, I wanna thank you for having the bravery to send this. These are exactly the kind of conversations I wanna be having with my audience and I can tell you're coming to this conversation in good faith. If anybody is shitty or condescending in the comments of this, I'm going to be very disappointed.

I was also raised in a purity culture (Mormonism) so I know how you feel. When I was a preteen, I stumbled into erotic Warrior Cats rp forums and they excited and intrigued me and made me feel SUPER guilty. I was convinced for years that I had a porn addiction because I would look at smut every couple months when I was feeling horny. I may not have your exact experiences with purity culture but I definitely know what you mean about sex being an uncomfortable topic for you.

In my experience, this is just something that changes with time and exposure to other people and with a willful choice to change your attitudes, if that's something you want to do.

I understand your aversion to adding these sexual references to a fandom that is "for children" but I personally feel like just because a concept was introduced as being aimed at children doesn't mean it should always be. For example, fairy tales were created for children but dark and adult readings of fairy tales are really interesting and can provide some cool angles on the subject matter that keeping it child friendly wouldn't.

I am conscious of the fact that minors may read my work, which is why I use my tagging system and why the top of my blog says "some content may be PG-13". As well, none of the sexual content I write about is stuff that I would feel uncomfortable discussing with someone 13 years old and up. Teens are curious about sex and I think up front and honest conversations about it are really important to avoid the kind of shame and guilt and also misinformation that comes with purity culture and abstinence only education.

I think that in general, fiction is not harmful, but that doesn't mean it can't be harmful to a specific person. For instance, while I think Non/Dub Con fiction is not inherently harmful, someone who has trauma regarding SA might be harmed by reading that kind of thing. It ultimately falls to people to manage their own online experiences. And when it comes to stuff like zoophilia and being worried about normalizing it, that's why I think it's important to discuss how fiction is just that, fiction.

We shouldn't be forced not to write about sensitive topics, but we should engage with them responsibly and foster a culture that discusses this stuff openly and without judgement.

I don't think there's an easy solution to the feelings you're feeling and that's okay! You shared how you feel, I shared how I feel, and we both listened and considered the others' point of view. I hope everyone will stay respectful, thoughtful, open minded, and empathetic when engaging with this discussion. <3

[dead-dove-definitely-eat]

"You Shouldn't Post Problematic Things Cause You'll Trigger People with Trauma"

There are two pitfalls to this argument.

You are not the center of the universe. It is not my or anybody's job to bend over backwards to appease you. Your trauma is your responsibility.

Trauma is complicated. What will trigger one person, will comfort another. And a person's discomfort doesn't trump someone else's comfort.

I'm gonna go over two traumatic events I went through (One fairly recent, the other from my childhood) in regards to these two points.

(Feel free to tell me about any Trigger Warning I need to add)

I was held at knife point at work a few weeks ago. I work the graveyard shift at a hotel, and a person came in, threatened me with a tactical knife, took all the money in the register, and ran. The first 48 hours + my first few shifts after this event I was a nervous wreck. But now I don't react. I can work completely alone at night without caring, I can see weapons without flinching, I can see violent scenes on TV and keep a straight face.

But even now I almost have a panic attack whenever I see someone wearing a hoodie and/or gloves. Cause that's what my attacker was wearing. I almost cried the first time a saw a guy wearing a hoodie after the robbery. Even though he never even came into the building, just seeing him sent me spiraling.

And I'm not alone. It's quite common for victims of violent crimes (specifically if they were unable to see the attackers face) to have their trauma latch onto something else. Such as locations, sounds, smells, and in my case clothing.

The thing is, if I claimed that it should be illegal to wear hoodies regardless of weather cause it triggers victims like myself. It would absurd. Because it is not the job of these random people who just want a hotel room to have to bend over backwards due to my trauma. My personal discomfort doesn't trump another person's free will. And it's selfish to imply that it should. But a lot of people push this idea that online, everybody should have to cater their content around people who have gone through something awful. When that truly isn't the case.

If you are a victim of violence and suffered trauma due to it, I am sorry that happened to you. But just like it would be absurd for me to approuch a random stranger on the street and say "I was robbed at knife point and now hoodies trigger me. You have to stop wearing them." it's absurd for you to go onto a random strangers account and say "I'm a victim of abuse and now dark-fiction triggers me. You have to stop posting it". It is my job to manage my own trauma, it is your job to manage your own trauma. Strangers do not need to cater to you. If you know something triggers you (especially online) it is your job to avoid it.

Now for the second one I get into my own personal trauma from my childhood. I was mistreated in some way by practically every member of my immediate family:

My mom was emotionally neglectful and never spent any time with me.

My dad was verbally abusive and threatened to beat me for crying when I'd get hurt.

My oldest sister abandoned me

My other sister physically, verbally, and emotionally abused me.

So to put it simply. I went through shit. But I can see depictions of trauma similar to my own and not react. I can see abuse on TV and not react. I can roleplay abusive family dynamics without getting upset. I can write abusive families without even blinking. These things do not affect me. Wanna know what did though?

I was watching Record of Ragnorok, specifically the Adam vs. Zeus fight. And I had a complete melt down in the middle of the living room when Adam said he was fighting in Ragnorok cause what kind of father wouldn't die to protect his children. I was crying so hard I almost vomited. Cause all I could think of when I heard Adam say that, was my father admitting that he allowed my sister to beat me black and blue everyday cause he couldn't be bothered to protect me. That he allowed me to suffer cause he didn't want to admit that my sister was a piece of shit who can't love anybody more than herself.

I also cried watching Bluey. Cause when I saw Bandit and Chili interact with the girls, all I could picture was that my parents would never do that. In fact if I did half the shit those two did, my parents would have threatened to beat me. And I cried. Cause all I saw when seeing these things was how my family should have been. They should have been kind and loving, but instead I was given a family that treated me like complete shit for years.

The thing is, by the logic that certain things shouldn't be portrayed because they can upset trauma survivors. These should be banned. Depicting healthy family dynamics should be banned cause I (and quite a few others) are left distressed by watching them. No more protective fathers, no more loving mothers, no more loyal siblings. Because those things genuinely cause me distress.

But once again, it would be absurd if I said that. Because plenty of abuse survivors find comfort in healthy depictions of family. Me being upset at seeing a genuinely loving family shouldn't over-rule all the people who are comforted by seeing it. Cause to circle back to my previous point. I am not the center of the universe.

Trauma is complicated. In fact if you actually looked at psychology and didn't just weaponize it (this goes for both sides), you'd see that psychologists are still trying to understand how trauma impacts the brain.

Why can three people all go through CSA but the first becomes hyper-sexual, the second becomes sexually repulsed, and the third become a serial killer. Cause a completely normal and healthy human brain is already a complicated mess that science is trying to understand, but throw in an event so horrible it completely changes certain aspects of it and you have a recipe for confusion.

The moment you say "X shouldn't exist for the comfort of victims" than immediantly nothing should exist. Cause trauma is so complicated that you can have two people go through pretty much identical situations and each will become upset by different things. No two people react to trauma in the exact same way. There will always be some differences. Whether it be what triggers them or how they react to it.

And attempting to claim that the comfort of some victims should trump the comfort of others is cruel. A lot of survivors enjoy consuming dark fiction because it allows you to explore your own childhood except this time you are in control. Me writing about abusive families is comforting because it allows me to explore my trauma, except I can walk away at any moment. The moment it becomes too much, I can close my laptop and cuddle my cats.

In fact that is the appeal of dark fiction for a lot of people, victim or otherwise. Allowing you to explore dark themes while remaining in control. The moment it becomes too much you can just close the book or turn off the TV. Something that can't be done in real life. Unless you are simply roleplaying, you can't just take a time-out on an actual Sexual Assault or Domestic Violence situation.

The truth is trauma is complicated and effects everyone differently. Simply because dark fiction triggers you doesn't mean it can't comfort someone else. In fact as a person who interacts with a lot of dark sub-groups of writing or art, a fair amount, if not the majority tend to be trauma survivors who are exploring their trauma in a controlled environment. Which is far healthier then repression.

To make a long post short: Coping is between You, (if you have one) your therapist, and (if you choose to involve them) your immediate circle.

It is perfectly fine if as a survivor you don't like dark fiction and believe it makes light of what you went through. I personally can't stand people who prop themselves up as "Azula Defenders" because of my trauma with abusive siblings (but that's a rant for another time)

It is also perfectly fine if as a survivor you find comfort in dark fiction since it allows you to explore your trauma in a controlled environment.

Neither side is wrong. Both people are reacting to trauma in different ways. You're not wrong for hating dark fiction, you're not wrong for loving dark fiction. But the moment you believe certain things shouldn't be portrayed because of your own trauma is when you are wrong. Your trauma is not more important then others. Your triggers aren't more valid than others. It is your job to regulate what you consume.

If you know certain tags or genres have content you do not enjoy and trigger you, it is your job to avoid those things. It is not the job of strangers to make sure you are comfortable.

If it would be wrong and entitled to approuch a stranger and demand they take off their Game of Thrones shirt because you are a victim of SA and find the show triggering, than it is also wrong and entitled to go onto someone's blog and demand they stop posting about Game of Thrones for that exact same reason.

[epickiya722]

I have made this argument before and I wanna see if it flies here: I don't think Sukuna counts as a hater. Because he doesn't care enough about anyone to truly hate them. He IS a huge bastard that treat people like plaything and disrespect them, but I never saw any of it as coming from a place of hatred? Even towards Yuji with how much bullshit he put him through and dissing him, I don't see that as coming from any feeling of hate, just the dismissness one treats a toy you not longer care to play with.

Ooh, okay hear me out because I do see where you're coming from, Anon. In fact, I do agree.

Sukuna does come off as someone who doesn't really spends his energy hating on someone as in "eh, what's the point".

Sometimes, you gotta have some bit of sense to care about something or someone to even feel anything else for them.

To care, is to acknowledge revelance and well, evident enough Yuji is the last person Sukuna would find important, huh?

But, hope you don't mind, I want to add onto this a bit more because I have thoughts and well...

I am (finally ╥﹏╥) finishing up a post I have had since January that is about how Sukuna views Yuji. (Kid you not.)

Now, before anybody says anything, yes, you can say Sukuna is a hater. He is indeed a Hater, with a capital H. But he really shows that behavior towards only Yuji verbally. Like... I can't recall him ever being so vindictive towards anybody else but Yuji.

He has expressed annoyance towards others and more recently even small moments of anger. Sometimes, he's even dismissive.

But with Yuji? Yuji won't even be in the same vicinity and he hates on him. He has this special animosity towards Yuji.

Why does he though? What's the reason?

This is what I suppose.

Sukuna definitely hated Yuji and probably still does because he was more of a cage to him than just a vessel. When Sukuna first was reincarnated and Yuji suppressed him, that actually was Sukuna's first L of the series. No doubt he despises him for it. Promised a second chance at life and a vessel and when you get that vessel? He controls you not you control him.

Come chapter 248, we get a bit more as to why Sukuna hates Yuji. No matter what he does, Yuji continues to get back up. His resolve is so strong that not even the King of Curses can break him at this point. And because of that, Sukuna decides to continue on where Kenjaku left off just to spite him.

But thinking about it... why? The thing is Sukuna never really had a goal in mind besides wanting to kill people for the hell of it. He does what he wants whenever he wants. He eats whatever he pleases. Something pisses him off, he gets rid of it.

So doesn't it seem off that Sukuna is actually going the extra mile just because of some teenage boy irks him? Is taking over for Kenjaku to merge humanity actually necessary? Just to spite Yuji?

Yuji ain't the only one attacking him, so why just antagonize him? He doesn't find anyone else boring?

You said the right word, Anon. Sukuna treats Yuji as a "toy". He treats Yuji like a toy. But he also does for everyone else. Everyone else (except Uraume really and he really doesn't pay much mind to Kenjaku and we don't know his relationship with Tengen) is a toy for Sukuna. There is not one person he genuinely cares enough for spare their life. Everyone he has fought was just entertainment for him. He killed people just because. He breaks people because he can.

And even though Yuji is one of those toys to him, Yuji is a toy that Sukuna keeps picking back up. He ignores him, but then goes right back to turning his attention on him. No matter what he does, Yuji is a Nokia phone. He's practically immune to Sukuna's tomfoolery.

If I had to say, if Sukuna doesn't hate Yuji, he hates what he stands for. He hates the idea that Yuji is fighting him and willing to die because he's selfless and wants to save people. Opposite of Sukuna's selfishness and entertainment to torture people.

[corvid-cabaret]

feel like someone's said this already but jimmy absolutely feels like he's cluster b. i'm saying this from a semi-detached pov bc i've not talked to anyone i knew for sure was cluster b but from listening to. a lot of theramintrees. and also given jimmy's larger than life personality he really bridges on being cluster b.

i get anybody saying he has a sort of superiority/inferiority complex because he absolutely does. but it's so drastic that it really does border on cluster b. specifically i feel like it's aspd but npd and bpd can be argued.

i'm going to reiterate that i do not know anybody with diagnosed aspd nor am i a psychologist or psychiatrist. i also do not want to portray the idea that i hate cluster b people. i just hate jimmy who i think exhibits cluster b symptoms. i'm also a fucking nerd up at midnight. and i'm flipping between tumblr and a wikipedia tab abt aspd so there's that. yapping under the cut.

hoo boy okay. this is really complicated. first off looking at the diagnosis bit of the wikipedia article where they cite the dsm, jimmy fits under more than enough traits (the dsm lists 7 and requires at least three be present)

failure to conform to social norms and laws: this one is the biggest stretch and i can't really cite anything in the game for it, but if you find something that genuinely isn't a stretch, i'd love to see it.

deceitfulness: genuinely look at him and tell me this doesn't fit. he tricked daisuke several times to his gain and daisuke's loss every fucking time. spiked cocktail? yep. the fucking vent? jesus christ.

exhibiting impulsivity or failing to plan ahead: man he fucking crashed the tulpar because he didn't wanna deal with the consequences of his actions. he forced himself onto anya and then nuked the ship because he forgot things happen after you do things.

irritability and aggressiveness: anya. curly. swansea. genuinely there are too many instances for me to name one. he assaults curly while administering the painkillers. he yells at anya for daring to ask him to give curly painkillers. the whole 'shoot swansea so you don't fucking die' sequence. there's so much i'm going to be sick.

reckless behavior that disregards the safety of others: crashing the fucking tulpar!

irresponsibility: one of the major themes in mouthwashing is taking responsibility and the way jimmy goes about doing that is genuinely horrible.

lack of remorse after hurting or mistreating another person: do i even need to explain this? he doesn't spare any thoughts for anya. he thinks of her as a fucking womb and nothing else. do you call that remorse? i fucking don't.

now. i don't know shit about jimmy's childhood but just considering 6 of 7 are already exhibited well enough it's kinda easy to see. it's impossible to know for sure, but jimmy's behavior is well enough argument in my mind. you can absolutely disagree with this ofc, i'm just saying what i think. and you can argue about jimmy being something completely different, i'd love to hear it.

personally, though, this is just my take on him. i think he's likely to have aspd. this will not affect the way i write him, this is just me trying to understand his character a lil more. if you have different thoughts or even just want to explain, please yap to me, it'll help me string together my thoughts better. yapping over

[mslanna]

Disclosed Desires

Chapter 4 of A Mortifying Ordeal now up on AO3

95% smut. You can skip when he vanishes his clothes.

I have no idea how I got through that dinner. The food was delicious, like utterly out of my budget and Raphael just sat there like a statue of Adonis only looking better and alive. Has the world ever seen eyes so brown? Probably not because it didn't implode and gods know I was so close.

Also, that voice. Once he realised The Purr had me in a stranglehold, he defaulted to it. Kept quizzing me about Baldur's Gate 3, too. Embarrassing and the one thing that saved the chair I sat on. I'm bad at meta, won't lie, so trying to explain things to him was pretty excruciating.

He kept insisting on me having a favourite way to play dialogues and such being a sign of me remembering and trying to be who I was before. Looking at that sopping soft guy who hid a complete devil under that face, was close to making me believe. No other reason anybody's pursue me with such fervour. But then I also have a favourite way to play Dragon Age 2 and I'm certainly no Hawke.

The thought of Varric turning up and trying to convince me to return to Kirkwall stuck around for almost half a minute. Mind you, he wouldn't have such convincing arguments for making me want to be Hawke and return.

Raphael, though? He's truly impossible, not gonna lie. I have to admire his staunch belief that I am in fact his Tav!Tav. Almost enough to make me doubt myself.

And gods do I wanna be them. He woos with the fierceness of a thousand suns, looking about as hot. Doesn't help if he's in his human form, guy is on fire! And not backing off. I am be as red as his devil skin when we arrive back at my room. Godsdamned, it is shabby. I am shabby. And he doesn't even care.

Also, he's utterly gorgeous. Tall. I have A Thing for tall guys, might be a reason none of my guys was under 2 meters. And in devil form Raphael is even taller. And so big. Need I say I wanna be all over him? Probably not, I am thirsty. I am horny and I want to cry so bad.

Poor sod deserves better. Deserves his actual real Tav. I know they'd love him so good. Kiss every inch of that man. Empty him like the last capri sun on the planet. Damn, they lucky. And I just have a finger under my chin and stare up into those damning eyes. Needs a licence for those, he does.

"Having second thoughts?"

Gah, I hate the soft insecurity in his voice. "Not about the – the thing itself no." Honesty, I whack myself internally. Honesty served me well so far. Gotta keep it up. "I wanna bang you so bad. 'til we both see stars and worse."

"But?"

"I know you think I'm your Tav. And man do I wish I was." I take his hand that holds my chin between mine. "But I'm not and you – you deserve better," I sigh. Can't hold his gaze either.

Waiting for him to react is the worst. My flight or flight instinct kicks in hard and my heart at least listens and pumps like mad. Thanks body.

Raphael is silent way too long. Probably having second thoughts himself and third thoughts and fourth thoughts, too. He's a crafty one. What am I even thinking? He got better things to do with his life than me. Which is why I can't let the Tav angle go. It's my one and only chance to get my hands on him. I am corrupt down to the bone. Or at least down to the cunt.

Doesn't help I had a taste already after amarettini and espresso. How he tastes so good, flavoured with almond and coffee. It's a small miracle we ended up in my room again and not in jail for public fornication. Coulda climbed him like a tree there and then.

"I appreciate your concern," he finally says. "It is very – consistent for you to put me and my feelings before yourself despite your obvious state. Please know that I acknowledge your worry, though I do not share it. Of course it is up to you, if you want to proceed. I will accept your withdrawal, much as it pains me. But you don't have to do anything more than let your gut guide you. Trust me."

How did he make so many words for before getting to the point. I get lost in his voice immediately and barely surface for the final 'trust me'.

"I do." Gods it is the most stupid thing ever. But I trust him. And I want to believe him, not only because his voice is utterly gorgeous but also because he says things I am desperate to hear. I want to believe so bad.

"Then, with that out of the way, you should ignore your misgivings for now. "

Wish it was that easy. Like, in theory it is, people making their own decisions, being their own people and you having to accept that. But it is hard to watch somebody you love, of fuck, I'm up in delulu-land further than the maps chart it. Still, it is hard to watch him throw himself uselessly at the nearest lump that looks like his Tav.

He must read my hesitation all wrong (unsurprising) because he takes my hand and brings it up to his lips. Damn demon devil. The way his index finger pokes into my palm is outrageously suggestive for it being mere hands. Good lord, sir what those fingers do?

"Maybe it will help bringing your memories back." He straightens with that predatory smile and my inhibitions don't even pretend to put up a fight.

"You fucked?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"You know that Tav fucking Haarlep and you fucking Haarlep in Tav's form isn't really you two fucking, yes?"

"Well," he grins like a wolf, "maybe it is time then to do the real thing."

In a swoosh of hellfire. Raphael transforms and also, sheds all of his clothes. I freeze except for my mouth that manages to go completely dry and water at the same time. Raphael's smile turns sharps as a knife as he points downwards. "Kneel."

Oh. Oh, hot damn, I will. I so will. But first – I cannot not touch him. His chest is broad and inviting and the skin is hot and all those ridges swirling everywhere. Gods strike me down if he didn't shudder when I placed my hand on him. He's burning under my fingers that move down his sides, up his arms and head. I can't reach very high on the horns but it doesn't matter. They feel alive under my palms, rugged.

The smile spreading on my face threatens to split it in half. Raphael is a sight. A whole banquet. More than I can hope to ever eat and most likely more than my mouth can hold. My hands round back over his shoulders, feathering over the collarbones. So many delicious ridges. I wanna bite them all. Nibble and munch until my jaw tires.

"Something you like?" His tone is only half mocking. "I am not used to having my orders disobeyed."

My eyes hitch on his mouth, that moves temptingly as he speaks. "Kiss me." I don't think. And when his hands alight on my sides, I jump at him, wrap myself around him any way possible and strain towards his lips.

Raphael laughs, low, and I feel it hum through my body. He takes it slow, lips tantalisingly out of reach until they meet mine ever so softly. I moan. He tastes so good. And as soon as his tongue demands tribute, I open up and swallow it whole.

Bad in bed whatever. He can kiss. If I didn't cling to him like a desperate koala, I would have melted into a puddle on the floor. As things are. My with feet hooked at the small of his back my legs can go as wobbly as they want. I am secure against him, ruining my pants and trousers too. Totes worth it.

He pries me off way too soon. The coronas in his black hole eyes burst with fire. "On your knees," he repeats and the low rumble is in itself enough to send me to the floor.

Not quickly, mind you. Can't pass on the chance to kiss all them ridges. And that is obviously allowed. My hand vanguards between his legs and damn. He's big. He's full of bumps and ridges I can't wait to pommel my insides with. But first – the chest. Only a little hair remains, but I'll take it.

As long as my head is on a slow descent, I can nibble on the red skin wherever. Don't care if my moans are louder than his. I'm in heaven. His problem now. Then I reach the happy trail and boy does it make me happy. I want to slurp it up, swoosh down and suck up the whole devil cock first.

Taking time is so hard, but then, so is he. Oh how delicious to arrive at a full on erection. My fingers mover over the pronounced ridges, feeling for future pleasure as I lean in. He's got a little crown of bumps just under the tip that looks absolutely delish.

A hand slips under my chin and raises my head. "Look at me."

Oh hot damn, if that's how he wants to play it. I lock my eyes to his and slip my lips over the very tip of his cock ever so slowly. He's so very still I can feel the tremble of his muscles tense to keep in place. I press the tip of my tongue against his tip, move it slowly, keep his eyes caught. This is a battle of wills he won't win.

Listen, I may be a little out of practice but I know my stuff. And he's signalling like nobody's business. Gods, he tastes so good, little burning flecks of precum on my tongue and the way he shivers when my tongue laps it up.

My head moves on without breaking eye contact. His cock slips in easy and deep and my tongue can't get on to those ridges fast enough. I'm sucking him like a lollipop. Every inch is to be explored, tasted, caressed. Rumbling sounds fall over me from above and only entice me to go down deeper. I want all of him inside of me and if this is how it happens, I will swallow.

His hands tangle in my hair. Gotta hand it to a guy who can find purchase in a pix cut. Not that it'll help him any. I help myself liberally to all of his cock abolishing my gagging reflex on the spot. Ain't nobody got no time for that.

I suck him in as deep as I can and then some because I am greedy. I want all of him and that's what I'll have and if it kills me. I don't care. I suck him in hard, deep and hungry. My teeth hitch on the ridges. My hands tighten on his balls and I wanna wring him dry, crush him like a lemon in the squeezer. Mine now. All mine.

Raphael's hands close on over my scalp. I am rabid. Clawed fingers press in tightly. I feel the nails pierce my skin as I go all in. The pain is familiar and exquisite. Unlike the fire erupting into my mouth, running down my throat like whiskey and chili.

I gulp it down as if I hadn't just feasted on the finest Mediterranean food. Gotta keep going. The cock is easier to take now that it softens and damned if I won't gurgle it down to the hilt. I'm almost offended when he pulls me up and definitely too short when he bends to kiss me.

Doesn't deter Raphael the least. He's big (oh yeah) and strong and just stands me on the bed so we can smooch good. He's sucking his taste from my mouth as if I stole it. Well, I'll gladly give him all I got. Also, I'm having an advantage because my hands run over hot skin (oh those swirling ridges!) and I'm still dressed.

His fingers bunch the fabric of my shirt and his tail wraps around my right ankle. Oh that's driving me wild. I'd be moaning all over the place if my mouth wasn't busy exploring every inch of devil it can reach. Little tugs of the tail in reaction to what goes on further up. Enough to turn my knees into pudding.

Raphael pushes me back a little, running a hand down the button tab. A knowing smirk plays over his lips. I wanna kiss that away. I wanna drink it up until it fills my whole existence. And he knows. Raphael tilts his head a little. "Open up."

Oh there is good reason that line isn't in the game spoken by him. I'd open up my legs wide no questions asked. Unfortunately, he's still looking at my shirt. Reluctantly I take my hands back to myself. If that's what he wants, he can have it. Gods, this guy can have everything. (Doesn't he know it.)

I hold his gaze and open the first button. Very slowly. I can see the fire flare up in his eyes. I can also feel his adventurous little tail move up my leg. The next button and another upwards slide wraps the tail around my knee. Raphael's grin a threat and a treat. Sweet hells. I can't even slow down any further because I started at least possible speed.

My fingers play with the next button and the tip of his tail dances against the inside of my thigh. Swallowing hard, I open the button and let the caress of skin snaking around my thigh wash over me. Two buttons left to go.

The second to last button brings him up against my cunt. The tail has no problems slipping between my folds; I'm wet as a waterfall.

I open the last button and nothing happens. I cock my head in a question and Raphael motions to brush the shirt of my shoulders. With a dry mouth I do and as soon as the fabric crests my shoulders, he moves in. His tail is hot, smooth and prehensile. I drop the worst moan ever as my knees give in, shirt hanging forgotten at half-mast.

Raphael catches me. Shirt forgotten he buries his face against mine again, tongue digging deep as his tail. My hands are on his chest again, gripping and grappling. Raphael pulls me close. His left bunches my shirt behind my back, trapping my hands as he bears down for another kiss. I'm flush against him, and my mans is working up an erection again already.

My cunt rises like a neon invitation. I arch perfectly against his chest, diabolical alchemy, I'm sure. Can't think further with my cunt full of tail and moth full of tongue – both slithering and slipping and demanding.

Clawed hands move down my sides, leaving red trails of fire. His fingers close in on my pussy and while I am all for that, he is in his cambion form. Pain is fine in moderation but there is some things I am not ready for yet.

"Before you can even think of putting any of those in down there, we gotta file of the claws," I gasp. In retaliation, I get his index finger into my mouth I suck down hard and accept the middle finger that follows.

His left still presses me against him, tail working up my cunt and fingers down my throat I hang on by that thread. I'm overflowing. I still need more. And he's generous. Boy is he giving. I may not be stuffed, but I am not empty either. My walls clench taking what they can and my mouth is muffled by fingers and want as he bends me backwards.

I fall freely and unworried. Hit the mattress soft enough. Barely registers through my horny haze as I rut at him like the last freak alive. He tastes so good. I wanna suck his mouth dry as well. Doing my best. Getting paid in hungry growls. Oh we feasting tonight.

Then he goes down. Not even slow. Skips all the in-between steps (it's fine, nothing to see there) to breathe hot air over my clit. And before I finished gasping out a hopeful moan, his tongue descended and I am deceased.

Doesn't matter if he'll come two thrusts in. I'm fucked already, writhing like a snake on silk sheets, getting nowhere but deeper into desire. Devil down there hums, send that reverberation into my bones through my sogging wet pussy. I'm so far gone, I can't even wish for him to finish me off.

Raphael's mouth works my clit as if I won't ever need it again, hungry tongue making short work of my arousal. I clench around the tip of his tail, riding on waves of ecstasy. Best night of my life.

[robinsnest2111]

Fic anon here, just wanted to say that you totally shouldn't be ashamed of how you reacted, the fic meant alot to you and suddenly it was gone, your totally untitled to feel upset! Trust me I was too, their fics where a huge inspiration to me too.

And also, I'm so glad you like my afterlife AU!!, so I haven't exactly hashed out all the details but I can tell you some things that I do know about it so far in no particular order.

Mick is the first one to die, he spends about a year by himself and is of the assumption that he'll be alone for all eternity as a punishment for not only his current life, but all his past lives aswell ( you know how he talks about having lived different lives in the dirt with the midnight gardner?)

Nikki shows up next and boy is this a difficult thing for him to accept. Not only that he's stuck in purgatory with his ex-bandmate that he personally axed and shit talked but he doesn't know that if he'll ever get to talk to anybody else he loves ever again.

The funny part to me is that, Mick is over their argument already, even though he's the victim and he just kinda wants to get on with all his little projects he's started and Nikki is the one that's mad about it?? Like, what do you mean your over it we're not done here! (Nikki still thinks he's in the right)

Mick at some point saves all of the guys asses from demons or skinwalkers that live in purgatory.

Tommy is the third to show up, and all he can say is dude for like three minutes in disbelief before, Mick snaps (slaps) him out of it.

When Mick was still alone on the farm, he had to fix everything and do every chore so at one point he had to fix the wiring for the electricity and when Vince finally shows up he has a fucking heartattack from how botched the wiring is (since he's a trained electricion and Mick is more of a mechani) and Mick is just behind him going, oh it's not that bad!

Mick doesn't have back pain in the afterlife!

They all ended up in the same afterlife because their soulmates, but they don't know this. Honestly don't know if I should have them figure it out.

They have a little cow that's very sassy that Mick named little fucker because she kicked him.

The terror twins reunited almost burn down the barn on tommys first day in the afterlife.

Anon!!!! I love love love! what you've got so far !!! everything feels very Them, I can picture it SO WELL!

esp. the part where Mick is over the whole getting kicked out of the band and getting slandered and lied about thing already, but Nikki is still stewing in the conflict juices lol in my mind's eye I can see Nikki arriving to the farm, seeing Mick and immediately laying into him, demanding to have all of this explained, getting right back into the drama etc. after a while Mick just turns around to head into the farmhouse (maybe it's hot out and he doesn't want to stand in the bright sun any longer). Nikki yells after him, staying in place like "Hey! We're not done here yet!" Mick doesn't acknowledge him until his ex bandmate has run out of steam and only then does he turn around to ask, in a tired deadpan voice: "You coming? It's cooler inside and I made lemonade this morning. Don't wanna let it go to waste." And Nikki's all speechless but eventually walks up to the house as well. And then he'll glare daggers at Mick the whole time they drink their glasses of lemonade, kinda like the Jamie Lee Curtis meme:

he'd probably be so ready to start up the discussion but then takes a sip of the lemonade and it's actually so good he's silently mad (and a little surprised) that Mick can just make something so delicious. Mick probably knew good lemonade would shut Nikki right up so he can have a few moments more of peace and quiet before the task of trying to explain this mystery and adjusting to (after)life with Nikki on the farm lol

(sorry I've been thinking about possible details and snippets like that ALL DAY orz)

And Vince losing his marbles over the haphazard way Mick's wired the whole farm lmao!!! I can totally see him going "Well, it has worked fine so far!" and Vince letting out a strangled and very much distressed groan hehe

And the cow omgggg <333 Little fucker ftw! the urge to draw her is strong

anon, please, notify me ASAP when you post the first chapter, gonna devour that SO FAST 🙏

[queen-mihai]

I think they should all be making $25 an hour. $30 even.

The argument against giving poor people more money is so absolutely moronic that it's hard to even believe.

RICH PEOPLE END UP GETTING THE MONEY ANYWAY

Business owners are business owners. They own the business. The money comes to them. When you buy something from the business, the owner gets the money. And as a matter of fact, with more of us having more money, there's a good chance the rich people would have MORE money.

It probably wouldn't even get to them any slower. There's no freaking downside to giving people enough money to thrive.

"But what if they abuse.."

BITCH we've figured out ways around just about every problem mankind has ever faced. The only damn thing that would happen is people who used to not be able to afford treatment could finally afford it. Plus when people can afford to do shit other than sit around the house all day, drugs start to look pretty damn stale and stupid for the most part. As long as some lawmakers "trying to make a point" don't start fucking up the execution on purpose.

"But this has never been tri.."

It's been tried. It's been proven. Name it. Somebody somewhere has shown that good policies work popular policies are popular for a damn reason. Stop listening to whiney politicians who can't keep their job if people actually get out and vote. Those "leaders" don't have your best interest in mind. They don't have you in mind at all. They want to forget you exist, coast on their title, and keep collecting money until they can't anymore.

"But where's the money gonna come from?"

MOST of it is gonna come from capping corporate salaries. Hire a team of economists and accountants and have them come up with just how much any specific executive should ACTUALLY be earning. Then, have the lawmakers make that the law. Then, have the IRS, backed by our overly militarized police force, enforce that law. The rest comes through taxes on the wealthiest people and actually enforcing those taxes instead of just writing loopholes and calling them laws.

"Isn't that 'big government' though?"

Duuuuude you've gotta see. The amount of mental health crises that are tied to fears about money is too damn high. Giving people money will help so many things in so many different ways that you barely need all that much government.

Here's a story for you.

I once ran a group of over 600 people online.

I had like 2 active mods.

We barely ever had to boot anybody. DO YOU KNOW WHY?

Because when a group is run well, when it feels nice PEOPLE WANT TO KEEP IT NICE. You can hire fewer police because people will self police. You can hire fewer IRS agents once rich people get used to the new system because actually paying their taxes made them RICHER. You can give people jobs like inspector of food safety if anything and just like have them making sure everything is running OK. Probably help the businesses they inspect make more money too because safe food is good and good food makes people wanna buy it and people buying more food makes the business more money.

Maybe you wouldn't need so many agencies spying on people if people actually had money cuz then what are they plotting?

Half of the stuff we are used to these days is only a thing BECAUSE of the shitty system we're used to.

You want to shrink the government? Give people money enough to thrive and watch the need for huge expensive government services dwindle.

It's not big government. Because giving people money would help shrink the government.

It's not fiscal responsibility. Because the best ones to decide what people need to spend money on is the people themselves. Plus these systems pretty quickly pay for themselves.

It's not even "making sure the right people get money and the wrong people don't" because those "wrong people" who may be living in America? Yeah they're spending that money IN AMERICA. So guess who gets it? Americans. Rich Americans.

It's only EVER about suffering. The rich CAN'T STAND for anyone poorer than them to be happy. If they can't monopolize the very concept of "joy" and keep it for themselves, the world is falling apart. I'm not talking Michael Jordan rich. I'm talking jeff bezos rich. Jeff doesn't want people to be happy. If he did, he wouldn't have his workers peeing in bottles.

No. jeff Wants people working for him to suffer because if he creates a hole in them, then the hole he has in himself might not feel as big.

Same with musk

Same with zuck

Same with any of these idiots who can't think of anything better to do with their life than to keep collecting money.

My answer to somebody who doesn't want a barista making $15-20-30 per hour?

Stop drinking the kool-aid. musk ain't about to make you rich. He's lying to you. So are the rest of the billionaires

[caelumsnuff]

TW for mentions of pedophilia and rape

Hey, in case anybody needs a reminder of where I stand on this issue: Caelum is an adult.

I’ve been saying he’s an adult since before the timeline dropped, and that interpretation is even more concrete after it. Being an adult, it is completely and entirely appropriate to treat him like one and put him in adult situations, be it NSFW or SFW, violence or sexuality, or whatever else.

Even if he was not an adult, it is not a wrongdoing to make art of him that would be immoral or even illegal if it was mirrored in real life, because he is not real. The fiction you consume or make is not reflective of your morals or who you are as a person, and nobody needs to lay bare their demons for you to not harass them over fictional art of fictional characters.

If you think it's okay to harass random people for making art you don't like existing, you do not belong here. If you think it's okay to call people pedophiles over fictional content of fictional characters, you do not belong here. If you think it's okay to call people pedophiles over a fictional 24 year old man, you do not belong here.

Do you still wanna make serious accusations towards people over the fiction they make/enjoy? Do you think it's inappropriate to write/draw Caelum in sexual situations because you think he can't consent? Well there's a word for when adults can't/don't consent to sexual activity, its "rape".

You people seem to not care when people write fictional content with rape in it even when it's meant for sexual gratification though, considering you're all still here in Erik's fandom. Haven't seen anyone point fingers at Erik and calling him a rapist for the content he writes, but i guess you guys did harass him into admitting he was sexually assaulted for you to finally get off his back about it, so i can't expect much. You are not helping sexual assault victims by forcing people to admit to being victims publicly so that their art is considered permissible by your standards. You help exactly zero CSA victims by comparing real life exploitation, assault, and rape of children to fanfiction of a fictional character (much less fanfiction of a fictional 24 year old).

This post is not going to be rebloggable because i am not going to entertain argumentative people with responses to something that my stance is completely and utterly settled on. I have explained my stance in several different places, several different times. If you are still incapable of understanding or comprehending my stance after i have made myself this clear on it, you are either 1) purposefully interpreting my words and actions in bad faith to suit your own agenda and your preconceptions of me or 2) you are so different from myself that you and i will never agree on this subject and there is no point even discussing it.

[some-pers0n]

Uhhh....Bio Post?

Hey! Hi! Hello! Any other synonym for ‘greetings’! Nice of you to stop by and read this. If you have, give it a lil' heart so I know you've read it. Means a lot! :]

INTRO

My name is Some Person, though you can call me Some, Person, Somp, or just SP. The SP stands for "Science Party" of course. What else could it possibly be?

They/she pronouns. Don't wear 'em out, alright?

I’m a blog that just is mostly here to gawk at beautiful art and reblog it. It’ll be just about anything, but mostly as of now it’s going to be TF2, WoF, Will Wood, memes, etc and etc stuff. I do reblog a LOT, just keep that in mind.

I am a fanfic author who mostly just dabbles in TF2 and WoF, though don’t be shocked if I post anything from any other fandom.

BYI

No real DNI, I guess. Never saw too much of a point in them. If I think you're insufferable or annoying in some way (terf, exclusionist, etc) you're not gonna have fun here

I am a rambly person. I can’t really help myself but run my mouth off on just about anything. I’ll frequently post rants and gargle up nonsense about anything. I don't really expect engagement since I'm ultimately just rambling to myself

If you couldn’t tell already, I do genuinely type like this. It’s force of habit now, I guess. I always sort of worry that I come off as rude or insensitive, so I'll infrequently use tone tags just in case. You don’t need to use them for me though if you don't want to

I'm also very awkward. I'll say a lot of things randomly or just be really sort of...off in a way. Keep in mind I'm autistic lol

I am 18 and over, however I still am rather averse to NSFW content. No offense to any artists out there who draw it, it just ain't for me. Oh and also minors are 100% allowed on my blog of course

I am also an argumentative person. I try to catch myself before it gets bad, but sometimes I get carried away. My deepest apologizes if that happens

I have a lot of opinions. I swear to god you can press me on just about every topic and I'll have something to say about it

If you go to follow me, just know that I am a very reblog-heavy person. If you do so, there's a good chance your dash will be flooded with TF2 characters and whatever else I'm incredibly obsessed with at that point. I'm sorry to anybody who follows me and is immediately hit with gay old men holding hands

I LOVE ASKS!! I love talking with people! Feel free to DM, ping me in posts and tag game, or just...talk to me about anything. No need to be shy around me. Ask me about my thoughts on something and I'll answer as soon as possible. Wanna talk about something else? Sounds great!

INTERESTS

(Highlight: The Interest | Bold - Major Interest | Italics - Moderate Interest)

TF2

Wings Of Fire

Will Wood

Writing

Astronomy

(Abnormal) Psychology

Disco Elysium

TLOZ

Pokémon 

The Magnus Archives

Jerma985

Malevolent

Omori

Persona 5

Deltrarune/Undertale

FNAF

Portal 1/2

BioShock

Slay the Princess

Gravity Falls

Arcane

SOCIALS

Ao3: SomePerson5

Discord: s0me-person

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr, I remember reading your article about how you would read very hateful/harmfulblogs in your time over lockdown, is there anyway to shake those ideas just stumbled upon a fashy account and just felt so weak and like I really was those things even though I know it’s all wrong

(For the uninitiated, I read a lot of detrans TERF blogs during my medical detransition phase early into the pandemic -- I also did this prior to transitioning back in 2016-17 as well.)

I never believed anything that I read on those blogs. They pissed me the hell off, and reading them and arguing with their authors in my mind helped me eventually arrive at a place of greater confidence in myself.

Many of the most outspoken members of those hate movements that I used to read have now left the TERF world, thankfully, and some are deeply committed to taking accountability for all that they've done and sharing every page from the detrans TERF playbook that they helped write. (Ky Schevers is one of them -- I don't expect anybody else to forgive her. But I think the work she's doing now is valuable and worth reading up on. But it's also okay if you think i'm a rube for thinking that.).

Reading detrans TERF blogs was certainly a means of lingering in a dark place intentionally, for me -- but it was almost a means of externalizing my very worst fears of how others might see me or think of me onto another source that I could pick apart and argue with. It certainly helped that many of the detrans TERFs that I read had lives that were transparently a mess, ruined by their destructive, obsessive worldview.

So on balance, I can't really say reading these sites itself did me all that much harm. It was the ambient transphobia of greater society that hurt me, and forced me to hate and doubt myself, and reading outright bigots who were ruining their own lives with their ideologies actually helped create more of a will to resist them within me. The fact I was a debate team kid who was very well accustomed to knowing my enemy and internally shadow boxing with them at all times also helped. i LIKE arguing. i like picking ill conceived claims apart. hell, i even like being angry and disdainful!

But that's certainly not the case for everyone. Many people internalize the negative messages that they read, if not intellectually then emotionally. I was already hurting emotionally a ton when I found myself consuming these writings, but it wasn't their arguments that did that. it was things like being rejected by my family and being in a real emotional dead-end of a straight relationship that was causing me that despair.

I think for most people, if you're in a pretty raw or vulnerable spot, the best thing to do is not read sites like these, and to block the people who create them. My fixation with TERF blogs was a special interest, and some special interests are fraught and weird and that's okay. but it doesn't sound like engaging with this topic is beneficial or even neutral for you. so id find something else to fixate on that gets your mind going but doesn't hurt your heart. maybe get into some meaningless discourse in a fandom or be toxic to people on call of duty (a methadone that i've also tried, to some success) if you need that kind of intensity but don't wanna hurt yourself.

[inkandpaperqwerty]

Dean is honestly the most toxic of the three boys. They all have issues, but Dean is the worst and most hypocritical about it. Not just with Team Free Will, but with outsiders. Dean determines all (good or bad, right or wrong, live or die), including whether you deserve a second chance, and everyone has to follow those guidelines except Dean himself. I honestly never got over his reaction to Max Miller. Killing monsters that can't be brought to justice by normal law enforcement is literally what Dean does all day, every day. Max did that, too, but because Max's victims were humans... it's not okay? Dean says no, and we see this hypocrisy a lot.

Dean sells his soul and abandons Sam to avoid facing the pain of being alone himself? Acceptable.

Sam drinks demon blood, which is equally associated with demons but is not hurting anyone except Sam himself, and it's helping others? Dean would hunt him if they weren't brothers; Sam's not even human anymore.

Because only Dean is allowed to break the rules.

"I don't believe in you." Dean says increasingly hurtful things to Sam throughout the series, and Sam lets Dean hurt him without fighting back (that I recall). However, when Sam does something to hurt Dean, the consequences are severe, even when he's trying to approach it carefully.

SAM Hold on. Dean, come on, man. DEAN turns around and punches him in the face with his right hand. SAM whirls around by the force. DEAN just watches him as he turns back around to DEAN. SAM You satisfied? DEAN hits him again, and then throws his bag on the floor. SAM touches his lip, which is bleeding. (S04E04)

Dean is also authoritarian, which falls in line with him being the rule maker and breaker. He doesn't explain his reasoning or allow arguments. You do it because Dean said so.

DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. CASTIEL I don't understand. DEAN Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man. (S06E20)

One good reason to trust you is what I'm asking for, Dean. You make everything up as you go, and you do what you want every time no matter how much it hurts your brothers.

There's another scene I swear happened, but I'll be darned if I can find the episode, where Sam is trying to talk about the possibility of jumping in the cage (I think) and Dean's like, "You wanna talk? Okay. You're not doing it. Good talk."

This is so toxic and unhealthy, not just for Sam, but FOR DEAN HIMSELF. And then we got th:

DEAN: No. That's the thing. It's not on me to let you do anything. You're a grown – well, overgrown – man. If this is what you want, I'll back your play. SAM: That's the last thing I thought you'd ever say. DEAN: Might be. I'm not gonna lie to you, though. It goes against every fiber I got. I mean, truth is… You know, watching out for you… it's kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it's… it's kinda who I am. You're not a kid anymore, Sam, and I can't keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too. I don't know if we got a snowball's chance. But… But I do know that if anybody can do it… it's you. (S05E22)

And Dean had grown. And it was amazing. And then the writers realized if they wanted to make money, they needed Dean (AND Sam and Castiel, because they are far from innocent) to continue making the same toxic mistakes over and over for as long as the cash cow gave them money. And they undid EVERYTHING.

And the worst part of it all is that I DO NOT HATE DEAN. I think these traits are such massive signs that Dean is the one who needs help the most. He's a functioning alcoholic, he has an explosive temper, he hates himself—I could go on. And he NEEDS HELP. And as much as I love Sam and Castiel, they are also damaged and toxic, and they cannot give him what he needs.

I keep getting distracted by a Dean in therapy story I've been working on (when I'm SUPPOSED to be writing other things) so I'm really hot about this topic right now. I have so many feelings about how much Dean could heal if he could get to a point where he understands nuance in relationships.

Below is an excerpt form the WIP.

[Elijah, the therapist, is speaking.] “That phrase, ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,’ really only works for strangers and acquaintances. You shouldn’t do unto your loved ones as you would have them do unto you; you should do unto them what they want you to do unto them.” Swallowing, Dean kept himself calm, confused enough by the conversation that he was able to push down the anger—of course I care he knows I care how could he think even for a second that I don’t care—and listen. “What is a food that Sam likes that you don’t?” Dean blinked. “Uh… salads? I mean, I don’t hate them, but…” “And you like cheeseburgers. Does Sam?” “He could take them or leave them.” Dean wet his lips, cooling off a little more with each passing second. “So, if you do unto others as you would have others do unto you, you give them what you would want. You would give Sam cheeseburgers, and he would give you salads.” Elijah held his hands about a foot apart, maintaining eye contact every time Dean dared to look at him for more than a split second. “You give Sam cheeseburgers, and you’re expecting him to love them as much as you do, and he’s like, ‘Uh, thanks, I guess?’ And that’s like a gut punch. Sam then tries to give you a salad, and he’s expecting you to be happy about that, and you’re like, ‘Really. Salad.’” Dean felt so stupid having someone use food to explain love to him—like he was a kindergartener who needed finger puppets to get the moral of the story—but at the same time, it made more sense to him than he thought it would. “Then, every now and then, you have a salad, and you don’t really want it, so you ask your brother if he wants to take it off your hands. And he’s so excited because you gave him a salad, and you never do that. And he says, ‘I love it when you give me the favorite food,’ and you say, ‘I literally do that all the time.’ He says you don’t, and you’re angry because you go out of your way to give him cheeseburgers as much as possible. Meanwhile, he’s angry because you never give him salads so what are you talking about ‘all the time?’ And sometimes you manage to get a cheeseburger out of Sam, and it’s great, but he doesn’t seem to get it, and he doesn’t really see a need to do it again. Because it’s not a salad.” Elijah turned his hands slightly, palms up. “The issue isn’t that you and Sam aren’t trying to give each other favorite foods, it’s that you’re trying to give each other your own favorite foods.”

And with that, I leave you. Why did you do this to me? I have so much that needs to get done today, and now it's 12:30. I hate you. JK, this post is great, and I love both it and you.

(A rant on Dean being a little shit in season 5)

I'm on season 5 for my rewatch of supernatural and DEAN IS FILLING ME WITH SUCH RAGE?! Like girlie, I get that you're a bit pissed off at Sam for the whole Ruby-demon-blood- lying- starting the-apocalypse-because-I-was-being-manipulated thing but like he was addicted and had started off doing it all for you.

Stop being so mean to Sam girliepops. Like early season 5, you're all "Sam stop apologising, it's okay" and then 5 mins later, you're all "Sam this is all your fault, we wouldn't be here if you hadn't betrayed me for that demon bitch!" Like yeah girlie you can feel resentment towards Sam but girl you're literally the only person that Sam cares about, you're the only opinion that matters to him, try be a little more understanding. Please.

Then late season 5 you're off to say yes to Michael and you site your lack of faith in Sam as your main reason. AND YOU DO IT IN SUCH A CRUEL WAY?!

Dean: I just don't believe

Sam: In what?

Dean: In you.

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DEAN, THAT WAS CRUEL. FIRST YOU THROW AWAY THE SAMULET AND THEN YOU PULL THIS SHIT?!

And then you go on to say that you think "it's only a matter of time until lucifer is wearing you to the prom." GIRL! THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! IF YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE AT LEAST TRY END IT ON GOOD TERMS?!

The utter disregard for how hard we see Sam trying is so mean. Like I get Dean is depressed, and he's got self-worth issues and all that, but Sam has problems too and he manages to be considerate of Dean.

This whole thing is such a heartbreaking deterioration of the relationship that we saw in earlier seasons. When Dean would help Sam with his whole "I'm evil!" Angst trip and they'd look out for each other and have light hearted banter.

It hurts my heart. Dean, Sam, go to family therapy or something please.

[transsexualhamlet]

001 for bsd 002 for dead apple trio 003 for shibusawa <33

Hihihi!! :3 :3 Ask game

001: BSD

Favorite character: It would be very difficult to come up with a favorite character of all time for bsd theres just SO many blorbos to choose from but um. Fyodor is my top blorbo

Least Favorite character: This is a no brainer but I just cannot stand fukuchi I know there's a lot of points about legitimate political themes but also I'm sorry I cannot take an old man who makes fart jokes seriously about anything

5 favorite ships: Fyogol Fyozai Atsuluaku (I think lucy could fix shin soukoku) dead apple trio and the whole DOA polycule ehehe gay people

Character I find most attractive: chuuya HANDS DOWN. No argument I will not be taking constructive criticism I am on my knees for this man

Character I would marry: ALSO CHUUYA but if i had to choose someone different, Lucy. I love them both so fucking much and I think they are actually good loveable fun and interesting people

Character I would be best friends with: Akutagawa or Fyodor. My type of best friend is wet cat i picked up out of the gutter I would fix them up good I promise

A random thought: God the tik tok fandom of bsd is absolutely rancid and it's really just a wasteland of people fighting each other tooth and nail for chuuya nakahara custody since literally everyone is convinced they're the only one who understands him and then proceeds to give the worst takes ever on him

Unpopular opinion: Mori is in general a good person and he really and truly wants the best for the city and for the world and the world he lives in has forced him to make very bad decisions, he has decided to be the bad guy for the world to function and near anyone else in his position would fucking crumble. He is fair and kind and allows the least amount of suffering possible though he knows that he does not deserve forgiveness for the things he has had to do. Without him the world would go to shit so fast.

Canon otp: I mean, there's not any canon ships in bsd really, but in terms of Most canon I would probably consider fukumori or shin soukoku? I love soukoku too but you know im Picky about it

Non-canon otp: ah yes the these characters have had One (1) interaction but they're fucking. Fyoya and Nikozai and also Sigzai i fucking love them

Most badass character: IM SORRY BRO ITS STILL HANDS DOWN CHUUYA HES TAKING ALL THE AWARDS TONIGHT CHUUYA CAN USE ME AS A FUCKING DOORMAT

Most Epic villain: Nikolai ofc he's 100 percent the most unhinged motherfucker in the cast and I am bonded to him on a molecular level Help

Pairing I am not a fan of: I feel like I've been over this a lot and at this point I just don't wanna make anybody sad bc I know people who ship just about everything sane and normal so you know you do you as long as it's not fucking gross yknow

Character I feel the writers screwed up: Teruko could have been an absolute girlboss if they didn't give her the. I don't know the. The Fukuchi Thing why did they do that seriously what why

Favorite friendship: Yes yes Dazai and Oda very much so Dazai and Oda but hAVE YOU CONSIDERED Chuuya and the flags. I'm all holding them so tightly you don't even fucking understand. They're so important

Character I most identify with: :|. Nikolai and Dazai. I should not be allowed in public spaces

Character I wish I could be: YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IM GONNA SAYITS FUCKING CHUUYA. There's not many people in bsd whose situations/mental states I really envy tbh. Dazai is crusty and sad and I don't want to ever see the state of his apartment. Fyodor is even sicker than me. Akutagawa's on the brink of death at all times. Being Ranpo would kill me because I would not be able to keep up the illusion of having an ability and I wouldn't be able to handle the thought that I didn't have one and everyone else did. All my kins are so sad and sick and in awful situations except CHUUYA who is being BADASS and MAKING BANK and GETTING BITCHES. Yes, he has obviously had so much tragedy in his life and he has very much suffered but the fact remains that he has gone through it and come out even stronger than before. He's such a guy I want to be him so bad

002: Dead Apple Trio :))

When I started shipping them: Literally the second I met these guys I was like Oh They're Fucking. All thru the first time I watched dead apple it just. More and more. These fuckers gay as shit

My thoughts: I looove them so much and they are so fucking terrible they're awful people and they love terrorism and genocide and being queercoded villains. They're in their big gothic spire doing gay crimes. Everything they do is labeled under 'consensual but not safe or sane'

What makes me happy about them: I love thinking of them all as some flavor of transfem nonbinary and they are so queer and gnc girlbosses that did nothing wrong they're so important to me shibusawa designed their wedding dresses and dead apple is the honeymoon

What makes me sad about them: I mean, I usually just call them girlbosses and call it a day but the thing is, the one thing that really brings them together is their fucking mental illness. Without unmedicated depression, unconventional takes on religion, and several personality disorders each, those three would never even talk to each other. The reason they care so much for each other is because they're the only ones who truly understand each other, they can see through each other's lies and straight to their rotted empty fucking ribcages. They only come together when they're at their absolute worst. They probably met at a sleazy gay bar and if it weren't for all their own grand schemes, at the slightest negative emotion they would just meet up there again and lace all their drinks with cyanide

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I mean. There's like 20 fanfics in the dead apple trio tag total, and 90 percent of them annoy the shit out of me, but yknow. I don't like it when they treat Dazai like some sort of victim in this situation, like, no he is 100 percent into this. This is normal for him and he signed up to get stabbed. Also people who think Shibusawa tops anyone are dumb as shit look at those acrylic nails sh;drgsfdoig

Things I look for in fanfic: IF IT'S NOT PRETENTIOUS AS SHIT, I'M NOT INTERESTED HSDIFHDS but seriously I think the important thing to realize is that this trio is that they're each other's bad habit. Most of the time they're totally clean of each other but every once and a while they will just fall into that hole again and come together to dig it deeper and deeper. They're awful for each other and nothing can save them. As much as the porn is good I wish there were more fics that had actual plots for them

My wishlist: I mean. Shibusawa is kind of dead for realsies now so it's not like they'll meet again anyway and I don't think I need them to be any more canon than they are, yknow? That's how I feel with most of my ships because like. There's already soo much subtext there for me, but if it was explicit, it would literally just be demonizing queer people and queer relationships and would be taken completely wrong and I think. It's just fine the way it is bc to me it is very clear they're gay sdhighdfs

Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I mean,, I don't know if I can really see a hypothetical Happy Ending for any of these guys. Perhaps there might be one for Dazai, if he can keep his shit together from now on, but not for both. I really do like the idea of both Fyodor and Dazai living and having to attempt to fix each other together, I really do, although I don't think Nikolai would survive in that situation :(, but that's not something that would happen in canon lol. Fyozai will either die together with Nikolai or it'll be Dazai alone. In that case, I think Dazai should be with Kunikida. They would actually be good for each other, I really do think that.

My happily ever after for them: There is NO happily ever after for the dead apple trio, as much as it's sad to say, there really and truly isn't. They're not good for each other, they're not a sustainable polycule as much as they love each other. Fyozai could hypothetically move on together and mourn Shibusawa, but there's no way they'd be good with him alive, there just isn't.

003 Shibusawa !!! Ok this is hard he interacts with like 3 people

How I feel about this character: Shibusawa sucks and I love him. He's a pillow princess. He's my wife. He tortures children but he would be a good mom I swear. He wants an e-z bake oven. He is an international terrorist but he is also a crazy cat lady. He walked into yokohama to start the apocalypse dressed like a cottagecore grandma with a million dollars of stolen jewelry in his purse and got called the t slur ten seconds before the fog came. I hate him hes my favorite he uses his science skills to create estrogen laced cupcakes

Any/all people I ship romantically with this character: Obviously Fyodor and Dazai but also Ivan. Shibusawa needed like a body double for some plot and Fyodor was like "I've got this crazy weirdo with long white hair who looks a lot like you, I can rent him out for five dollars an hour" and they hit it off like nobody's business. Now Shibusawa uses him as a crazy gay test subject for his unethical experiments and they kiss and Ivan is madly in love with him

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't know why people hate Shibusawa so much. On international women's day week too?? Im sorry women can do anything. I'm all for awful evil women, Shibusawa included. Genuinely I don't get how anyone could think Shibusawa is like. A man. One thing you have to understand about me. Is that Shibusawa is my wife

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I WANT HIM TO WEAR A DRESS. BIG DRESS. POOFY FANCY DRESS. VICTORIAN BALLGOWN. HE DESERVES IT. HE WOULD LOVE IT

Favorite friendship for this character: I think that Shibusawa and Nikolai would be good friends. They gush about Fyodor and Nikolai is Shibusawa's crazy friend who gives him all his awful ideas and Shibusawa encourages everything. Also there's my and my friend's ocs Fran and Kafu who are both. Around Shibusawa ™ but that's a whole nother story. Fran is his younger cousin who helps him exist and Kafu is this absolutely insane fucking creature who's deeply in love with him and is in his walls

Crossover ship: I have never thought about this ever before but after some consideration. Albert Moriarty. I think they would get along well. I really do think they would get absolutely fucking wasted and Shibusawa would get fucking railed after they talked about how much they hated rich people and killing rich people and stealing rich people's money to kill more people and how fucked up the world is and how they wanna die

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her