#i don't think this raccoon has a license even

[navstuffs]

Traffic stop

Pairing: Rookie!Leon Kennedy x BustyF!Reader

Summary: Your sports bra malfunctions during a traffic stop with a shy rookie cop.

Warnings: au obvs, happens in raccoon city, wrote with a busty reader in mind but anyone can read it, shy!leon, accidental exposure, suggestive themes, speeding (DRIVE SAFE PEOPLE!!)

Author's Notes: kudos to my husband for giving me the idea/title. if anyone would like to write a smut version of this, i also wouldn't mind, just let me know! i do have another plan for re2 leon in works cause he is my baby. hope you enjoy your reading!

my leon's masterlist | part 2

It is still hot, you think as you exit the gym after an exhausting leg day. You decide to wear your sports bra while driving home since your car's air conditioner has not worked since you bought it. You always think you will have money to fix it or even buy a new car, but you must work with what you have now.

You sigh, throwing your bag and your shirt on the backseat. The pain in your legs will only worsen, so you decide to drive fast to get home, shower, and relax. And oh, yes, hope the wind provides some sort of comfort on your face. Placing your sunglasses in your eyes, you start going, mentally praying you wouldn't see any cop.

But of course, this isn't your lucky day.

Not even ten minutes on the road, the sound of the siren from a car of Raccoon City P.D. is behind you. You groan an audible no, asking mentally what you did to deserve this.

"Perfect. Great," Your murmur.

You pull into a nearby parking lot, take the paperwork from the glove compartment and throw it in the passenger seat, the air already getting stagnant inside the car, making you sweat.

Your eyes roam to the rearview mirror, wondering where the heck that cop was, when you notice the zipper of your sports bra is half open. You attempt to zip it, but it immediately unzips it again, leaving half of your cleavage exposed. You think it doesn't look bad, so you leave it alone. It is not like you were driving topless anyway.

With droplets of sweat on your forehead, you see the cop coming out in your driver-side mirror. Finally, you think as he takes his sweet time to get to you. He looks young. He seems to take a breath before walking to your car, pulling his pants up and his other hand on his gun, and even someone who doesn't understand anything about cops would know this guy is a rookie.

He approaches slowly and carefully, analyzing your old car, and when he finally stops by your window, the first thing you catch is a pair of innocent blue eyes. Staring right at you.

"Good afternoon, ma'am." You read the name tag Leon Kennedy as his eyes go from your face to your sports bra half open. Officer Leon probably has a great view since your car is on the lower side. He gulps, you don't know if nervousness or something else, then stares directly above your head.

"Afternoon."

"Do you know how fast you were going?" Oh, this one is definitely a rookie, with his voice still showing some nervousness.

"Yeap, I know."

You really don't want to prolong this more than it should, and the way Leon Kennedy seems to stare everywhere except you proves he wants the same.

"Look. I was just trying to get home. Just issue the ticket, and I will be on my way. I will behave, I promise."

That clearly sounded more seductive than you meant to be. You don't judge yourself as a woman who could get out of a ticket by flirting; honestly, you didn't care at this moment. Your whole body is getting sweaty and sticky, with a few drops of sweat coming down from your neck, and your legs are literally pulsating with pain. It is worth trying.

And just for the right timing, you feel a single drop of sweat coming down from your neck to your cleavage. Leon Kennedy's blue eyes follow the trail until the drop disappears inside your bra top, and he gulps, licking his lips.

Well, you may be one of those women who can get away from a ticket by flirting.

"License and breas— I mean, car registration, please."

Leon thanks mentally you don't seem to hear his mispronunciation. You grunt, impatience, turning to grab your documents for Leon. When you turn back at him to hand them, your zipper finally gives up, opening it up completely. It is a nice feeling at first, the same feeling you have from having your boobs released after a long day.

For a moment, you both don't move, too mortified. Officer Leon Kennedy is now staring, really staring, at your boobs. He doesn't even attempt to look away, his face entirely red as a tomato. Your immediate reaction is to try to close the zipper, but it seems it had enough. Leon finally turns around, mumbling an apology.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry, Officer!" You groan as you give up on zipping, going for the shirt under your bag in the back seat. 

"It-it is fine!" Leon rushes to say, his voice going high a few tones. If this wasn't embarrassing as it was, you would have laughed at the poor rookie's reaction. But now, great, you were probably going to be arrested for public indecency. You finally find a towel, a medium one, that might work. You cover yourself as best as you can.

After Leon gives you a few moments of privacy, he turns back to face you, and you know, by the expression on his face, you are doomed. You were probably getting arrested for trying to seduce a cop-out of a ticket. 

"You can go, ma'am."

"What? Like that?" You wonder before stopping yourself.

"Well, y-yeah. I can see you have much bigger problems to deal with it. Have a good day."

Leon gives you one good final look, a strange glow in his eyes. It seems he wants to say something else, but the moment passes. Leon gives you a slight smirk, his face still red, and walks back to his car.

You watch Leon drive away, your gazes somewhat crossing before he disappears into traffic. You sigh, the external heat forgotten, hoping this isn't your last encounter with Leon Kennedy.

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Plan

So the poll is still running, but I think I'm safe in saying there's sufficient interest, so I'm going ahead and typing up a "how we're going to do this" thing, which I will schedule to post after the poll ends properly. As of the time I'm writing this, over 500 people have voted for the "yes I want to draw things" option, and I had been expecting to get maybe a dozen, so we definitely have enough participants. Let's get started then:

Our Source

I had originally planned to translate an Old or Middle English bestiary, but haven't been able to find a good one -- the best option I was able to dig up only has thirteen critters, which I feel like isn't enough to really have fun with. I was debating the idea of translating a Latin one -- this would have been far more time-consuming since my Latin is terrible, but also I do need to practice it, so I figured it evens out -- when I found a solution that doesn't involve me spending hours and hours on translating.

It seems that when Aberdeen University created their digitized version of the famous Aberdeen Bestiary, they released it under a Creative Commons license. (Assuming I'm reading their copyright policy correctly; I'm not a lawyer.) It does not seem to specify whether the transcriptions and translations they attach to the scanned images are also covered by Creative Commons, but since all of those are already freely available online through their website, I can't imagine they would have a problem with me posting them here as long as I provide attribution (which I am hereby doing right here on this post) and am not using it for commercial purposes (which I am not).

The Aberdeen Bestiary is missing a few pages, but there exists a very similar manuscript, the Ashmole Bestiary (they're sometimes called "sister" manuscripts), which is not missing those pages. And I happen to have a translation of the Ashmole Bestiary in hardcopy on my bookshelf, so I can just use it to fill in the gaps. Edit: whoops, the one I have is the Bodley Bestiary. They are in the same bestiary "family", though, so it still works well enough. (I think that should qualify as "fair use", since I'm only taking excerpts and not using them commercially.)

The upside of using the Aberdeen Bestiary is that it means when I round up all the art of each critter, I can include their very nice illustrations alongside the reveal of what animal was being described.

The downside of using the Aberdeen Bestiary is that since it already is free online, people might be tempted to "cheat" by looking up the entries and finding out what animal they describe. For that, please see the next section...

Guessing the Animal

Guessing what animal is being described is not the point of the exercise. (Feel free to have theories and whatnot, but please keep them to yourself so as not to influence the artists.) If you see an entry and think, e.g., "oh that's describing a raccoon"*, and then you create a picture of a raccoon... well, you could have done a perfectly good raccoon at any point and didn't need this framework to do it. So just don't worry about what animal is meant, and do your best to draw (or paint or stitch or whatever else) based on the description! You're not getting ranked on accuracy and there are no prizes forthcoming, so... just have fun with it.

*Example chosen as something that will, for obvious reasons, definitely not be in a 13th-century European bestiary.

Edit after starting to type these things up: some of these are going to be super easy to guess, though, to the point where I don't know how possible it'll be to block out prior knowledge. Sorry about that.

General Procedure

I'm going to schedule a post every Monday (I'm thinking of queuing them for 6pm Eastern Time) with a new entry. It will be the translation of an entry from the Aberdeen Bestiary with all references to the animal's name replaced by a randomly-generated nonsense word. (Henceforth to be referred to as "nonsense-names". I'm Googling* each one before using them so I don't accidentally generate one that actually means something.) These posts will all be tagged maniculum bestiaryposting, so you can follow that tag if you want to make sure you see them.'

*Later Note: Did you know that if you search dozens of nonsense words within a short span of time, Google makes you prove you're not a robot? Repeatedly?

Anyone who wants to draw the critter being described should do so. (You are encouraged to describe your thought process re: why you've depicted it the way you have.) You can put it in its own post, or reblog the description with an image, or however you want to do it. Then tag your art with the nonsense-name I've given to the animal.This will let me and others find it. (You should probably employ copy/paste there to make sure the spelling is the same, since nonsense words are hard to spellcheck.)

A week after posting the bestiary entry, I'll go through that tag and round up all of the art contributed. Then I'll put the images in a big post (or series thereof, considering how many people might participate), along with an @ and a link to your original post.

If you want...

to not have your work included in the round-up post

to have only a link to your post included and not an image

to have me include a link to your website / other social media / etsy shop in addition to or instead of your tumblr

to have other information included alongside your work

anything else along those lines

... then just say so in your post and I will follow your instructions to the best of my ability.

I will also include, at the end of the round-up post, an image of the creature as depicted in the Aberdeen Bestiary and what it is actually called.

All posts I make on this will be collected at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting so that people can look at previous ones without scrolling through the tag.

Various Notes

I'm going to trim out any religious digressions in the original entries -- bestiary authors had a habit of adding stuff like "and the raccoon is symbolic of god in such-and-such fashion, which teaches us...", and I just don't think that's relevant here.

The entries will also be presented in a random order. This is because they're sorted into categories in the original text, so if I don't change the order we're going to get stuck with, e.g., a few months of All Birds All The Time.

You should all be aware that the animals described are not guaranteed to be, you know, real. There are several entries describing animals that straight up do not exist -- some of which are mythical creatures familiar to most people, others of which are extremely obscure.

Explanations of the animal's name within the entries will be redacted.

If other animals are mentioned within the entries, they will not get replaced with nonsense-names. Originally, I was going to make the switch globally, so that if, e.g., the entry for "raccoon" read "a raccoon is about the size of a possum", and the random generator had decided that a raccoon was a balzikhear and a possum was a flunggrish, the "raccoon" entry would now read "a balzikhear is about the size of a flunggrish". However, I decided that it will cause more problems than it solves to obscure any comparisons to other animals -- so the name-switch is now localized only to the specific entry. A possum is a flunggrish only in its own entry, and remains a possum everywhere else.

I was originally going to do one post for every single entry, but there are a lot of them and they vary wildly in length & quality. So I've cut it down to exactly 52 posts, meaning that if I queue them up for once a week, this will run for roughly a full year.

Most of that cutting-down mentioned above was done by combining a bunch of the really short entries into categories -- the last half-dozen posts in this series will be group entries. You can choose to make art of any of them that strike your fancy, or do a group portrait, or just ignore them --I dunno, I'm not a cop, do what you want.

I did also directly cut some, mostly domesticated animals because there's a somewhat different approach to them based on author and audience familiarity.

So yeah, that should cover everything.

[fluffygiraffe]

Eotu Awki Lore!

Eotu Awki is a Tanuki/Raccoon dog made completely of Grape Yogurt through and through! But that doesn't stop him from spreading joy throughout multiple universes through Magic Shows! And some... Other ways. If they want, of course.

Backstory!

██████ is an Imaginary Being (The same species as Gorf!) that was brought to life by StarDust sprinkling onto ███████'s head, but unfortunately, his creator didn't need him anymore. So, having magic abilities such as being able to alter reality temporarily with his hard plastic wand and having a hammerspace in his hat, he had the great idea of performing magic shows in a theatre, which also doubled as his home! Fortunately, everybody LOVED THEM! He was a hit with small children and adults alike!

But after years went by, people stopped coming to the shows. Slowly, he began to learn about the most horrid, terrible things the world could offer, and he hated it. Before he could act, he was ███████, completely destroying his left arm and lower body. So rushing back to the theatre, he used his wand to bring himself and said theatre to a void-like area. To save himself, he used his magic to turn himself into something that doesn't exactly classify as alive. He became █████████, something no sane Imaginary Being would wish upon themself.

Such a bad experience causes bad emotions, but due to his new state, he begins to bubble and melt due to this. His body was unstable and weak, so any bad emotion could simply cause him to turn into a puddle if he wasn't careful. So, to regain his powers and stop his risk of death, such bad emotions were used as food for his wand. In such a rush, he had accidentally caused himself to forget his name. But hey, at least his new rubber wand could calm him down and help him forget his problems for a little while! What a wonderful little thing, is it not?

After many years of loneliness and nonsensical thought, he had a sudden urge. Out of the blue, he had an urge... to perform a magic show? So, after pulling decorations and balloons that felt just right from his hat to decorate and waiting behind the curtain, suddenly, somebody came through. Somebody that needed a cheering up. And he performed. And he wasn't lonely, even for a little bit.

From then on, he performed magic shows for the sad of the universe, only to send them back home afterward. But after a while, he had gotten bored. He knew his shows were only temporary, but what could be permanent?

Therapist? No, he has no license. Pharmacist? What's a medication?

Soon, during one of his shows, he wasn't exactly succeeding in making his guest happy. But then, he had an idea. Using his wand that he had only used on himself all these years on this person, they became happy. They looked different, acted different, and felt different. But most importantly, they were happy.

They stayed with him for a little while longer, giggled and clapped happily with him, jumped with joy, and played with him! It was amazing! They actually wanted to be his friend! And they didn't seem to care about the harsh realities of life anymore as well! In fact, it seemed they didn't know they existed at all.

Although our little Tanuki friend was tired after using this ability and it was also temporary as well (so he had to send the confused guy home when he was in quite a daze after a quick explanation), he had new thoughts. Better thoughts that didn't hurt to think about. Solid thoughts that made sense.

He had a new goal, an actual goal. Get to an actual universe to transform it and make everybody happy inside it.

And with that, he discovered he had a new name, a perfect name, one that would, no, WILL be loved throughout lands. Eotu Awki.

End of the Universe. As we know it.

~

HEEHEHEHEJFGDSGYFSHJF HE'S EVIL >:) But good! We don't know. I don't care. I love him. Time to post Wand Affected characters.

[the-mandawhor1an]

Question tag game

I've been tagges by @djarins-cyare a while ago and finally get to it. Thank you for thinking of me 💜💜💜

Answers under the cut ⇓⇓⇓

Do you make your own bed?

Not on the regular. I am a human raccoon and live in eternal chaos. My bed is only made when we have people over and they might have a look into the bedroom to see the cat. Or when it hits me and I have one of these days where I feel the urge to deep-clean the bedroom.

Favourite number?

17. I dont know why but the number jus speaks to me. Also, kind of feel good about 12, it's a nice number. Very versatile. Probably the number I gravitate toward when I have to think of a random number.

What’s your job?

I am a development engineer to put it simply. My official job description will lead to me having to explain quite a few things. It's a niche industry and I am intentionally vague about it, as it's probably easy to find my workplace and in return me if I tell you. What I can say is, I am considered a photonics engineer and work with lasers daily.

I lovingly call myself 'smartass with a licnse'. Engineers are a little smartassy. Also, my 'expertise' will have some significance to the Reed Richards filth that still sits in my wip folder.

If you could go back to school, would you?

I'm not sure. The only 'step' I have left would be starting a PhD. Do I enjoy being an engineer? Yes. Are about half of my coworkers PhD holders and that makes me feel like the odd one out? Also yes.

Am I willing to switch my 40 hour work week to about 60 hours for the next 3 to 5 years? I'm not so sure. Also generally the pay for PhD students is not that great in good old Germany

Would I like to be a Dr-Ing one day? It would be cool. I bet my granddad would be proud, he was a professor himself. Kind of sad that he passed before I graduated.

Can you parallel park?

Yup. I do it rarely but my car is small and I am (mostly) confident in my parking skills. Unless Heehoo is with me because he has this talent to make comments about women's parking skills whenever I park my car perfectly and it annoys the ever-loving shit out of me.

Do you think aliens are real?

I think so. It used to scare me when I was younger but now the thought of being completely alone in this universe is a lot scarier. The universe is big. FUCKING BIG. It is next to impossible that there is no other life out there. There is the great filter theory but I don't fully subscribe to it.

Can you drive a manual car?

Not to bash the Americans on here but I believe most Europeans do? Yes, I learned in driving school, otherwise you're not allowed to drive manual after you have your license. Nowadays you can even do a hybrid of automatic and manual at driving school. Like 4 lessons are on the manual and the rest plus the exam are done on the automatic and you still get the license to drive both.

Also, my car (that has been running smoothly ever since it came back) is a manual. I've been driving mom's car for years before that which was automatic, it was a little difficult to get back into shifting gears but it takes one or two trips and it's all back and works on autopilot. Now when I drive automatic I find myself wanting to shift gears every now and then.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I'm not sure I even have guilty pleasures. I enjoy my pleasures unapologetically these days.

Do you have any phobias?

Flying.

I know it's irrational as driving a car is infinetely more dangerous than flying but I can NOT stay calm when I feel the nose of the plane take a dive. I will claw into the arm rests and make the trip unbearable for Heehoo as well.

I have been on planes. I survived, obviously. It just doesn't feel nice so currently I can only stomach short flights.

Favourite childhood sport?

Probably dancing? Unless horseback riding is also considered sport.

Yes, you read that right.

I was a horse girl. I wanted to buy a horse when I started working. Well, haha, funny thought. I am paying off my car rn and I can NOT afford a horse whatsoever.

I am by no means an active person. The only movement I somewhat enjoy is rollerskating and taking walks. Sometimes swimming.

Do you talk to yourself?

Occasionally. A lot happens internally but sometimes I just vocalize my thoughts when I'm alone.

Do you have tattoos?

Currently I have two, both on my ribcage. A little fox (that I should just call Fink tbh)

The stretch marks really came out to say hi in this.

and some florals with Mando's helmet.

Mando will get an extension all the way down my leg with my Maia helmet and more florals. It will take some time tho. I need to save up some money for it. Plus I'm not so happy wih my body rn. Working full time really takes a toll on the body.

Favourite colour?

purple. Easy.

Do you like puzzles?

Jigsaw puzzles? They're okay. I have two 1500 piece puzzles hanging on the walls as decor. One in the kitchen, one used to be in the hallway. Now there hangs a collage of wedding photos.

I still have a halfway done Mando puzzle waiting to be finished and put into a frame. Idek where to hang it.

That's it

npt: @rivnedell @evolnoomym @zaddymandalorian @guiltyasdave @djarins-wife

(if you've already done it I'm sorry, it's been a while since this came around)

[rubykgrant]

can we see your pitbull 🥺🥺🥺

Here he is! (I had to wait for somebody to visit who actually has a phone that takes pictures). His name is Zeya (sounds like "Isiah" without the I). I also call him "My precious, pitiful, pretty-ful pitbull"~ He's about 13 now, but we got him right before he turned 2. He lived with my step-brother's family, but they were moving to a place where they couldn't keep pets, so we took him in, and feel in love with him~ He was raised around a baby and a toddler, so he's very friendly and tolerant with little kids and other small animals. If you play with him, and he accidentally bumps you too hard or something, as soon as he hears "Ow", he stops, and shows you his belly as an apology.

We also found kittens that a stray cat had under the house, and we still have one (she's about 10), and they love each other. Sometimes the kitty steals his bed, and he doesn't do anything about, he just lays on the floor (so I pick her up like a pizza and plop her into her own kitty-bed. she just keeps purring). They both know the word "walk", and will stay with me when I take them outside, or stroll through the woods behind the house. He knows a lot of other words too, including "bath". I tease him sometimes, asking- "Do you want a BATH? What if I give you a BATH?", and he does this wiggle-worm routine to tell me NO... but if I take his collar off, he knows it is real (and he still comes a long for the bath, he's just all slow about it. he LOVES when we're done, because then I towel him off, and he's SO HAPPY). The kitty watches every time, fascinated and uncertain why he gets this strange "water ritual" haha.

He loves having his collar; he treats it like a grand honor. When he get him a new one, he gets all EXCITED, doing his little tap-dance as he waits for it. He have his license on it, and also some old keys (that don't go to anything), so we can hear the jingle noise as he runs around (if I let him out at night to pee, and call for him, I can hear the keys jingle before I even see him, so I know he's listening and is coming back).

He has a very specific little "howling" sound he makes, where he goes- "AWOOO-woo-woo-woo-wooooooo!", which is his way to communicate- "I am very happy! Be happy with me!", and it makes us laugh, so he knows we're happy too. He also does a specific thing when he wants to let people know- "I have bone! Don't try to take it from me!" when he wants you to actually get it and throw it; he brings the bone over in his mouth, and makes this muffled warble noise (I've heard him actually bark like normal with a stick or bone in his mouth, so I know this noise is on purpose). I play "where's your bone?" by asking him to go get one of his chew bones, and after he brings it to me, I hide it somewhere in the house. He remembers the "usual" hiding places and checks those first, but will eventually sniff-out the new hiding spot. Sometimes the kitty will be up on the couch or a chair while he looks, and when he walks by, she baps at him with her paws.

He takes his job as Guard Dog very seriously, so if he thinks something Bad is Outside, he wants to bark and go chase it. In general, we don't really care if there are raccoons or whatever out there, and just tell him to hush (he has no sense of self-preservation if he thinks he is "defending" us, and we would rather he NOT get his face scratched up by some wild critter). While he likes to let everybody know "This is MY property!", once he gets done barking, he loves having visitors and making friends. We doesn't need to walk on a leash at the house, but I've trained him to walk with me at my pace when I take him other places, and he understands usual commands like sit/stay (plus all the tricks like shake/speak/etc), and for vet visits I've taught "Hold still" and "Let me see" so he's very good at being looked-over. People have marveled at how "polite" he is when he gently takes a treat from their hands.

He's such a sweet boy, with so many funny little habits and quirks. He loves attention, and while he usually has a lot of excited energy, he's very cute when he's all calm... a few times, I have let him cuddle with me on the couch, and when he falls asleep, he has dreams that make him twitch and yip (which is VERY funny to feel when the dog is sprawled across your chest and tummy). Oh, he also knows the word "medicine", which applies to anything he either has to take (like a pill), or the whole process of disinfecting a scratch/getting bandaged (he doesn't understand what it all means, but he trusts me to take care of him, and knows I must be trying to help). We're making sure he has a nice long, happy life! We love him so much~

[button-mash]

What I played last week #9

Taz-Mania [Sega Mega Drive]

I think this might be one of my all time most hated games. I remember when I was a kid, my dad had a bet come in and he said he'd buy me a game. We went to the Woolworths (RIP) on the way back to my mum's house and I remember excitedly picking up Aladdin, but when we got to the checkout they didn't actually have it in stock. I then audibled to Earthworm Jim instead before my Dad noticed this was 50% off and essentially picked it for me. What could have been From the very second I took it home I have hated this game. I think it actually developed into somewhat of an abusive relationship, because I was so determined to get some kind of value out of it that I would actually play it loads. What amazes me the most looking back is that I remember getting up to this mine-cart level in the game I could only occassionally pass which Id assumed was like 2-3 levels into the game. Playing it back however, I learned it was incredibly far into this dreadful piece of shit game, meaning that as a kid I actually battled a decent way through what is basically just a punishingly hard, obtusely difficult game.

I refuse to believe anybody could ever beat that minecart level by simply reacting to the hazards, its basically just a cheap level that demands you die over and over, further and further into the level enough so that you can hopefully memorise it, except the limited lives and continues mean you'd have to battle your way all the way back there to even try again.

The game just breaks pretty much every single cardinal sin of design. The controls are clumsy, enemies have awkward hitboxes, beginners traps are everywhere, hazard items are located in chokepoints that are hard to avoid, the game constantly asks you to make leaps of faith you can't actually see, the backgrounds are cluttered so it's difficult to know what you can and can't be hurt by/land on/etc, instant deaths on hard to learn jumping patterns, etc, etc etc. At one point the game even inexplicably adds fucking depth perception platforming into a fucking 2D game. Maybe worst of all, the game has SO many levels too. Usually you see tactics like this employed in games to drag them out, but this has something like 15 levels and some of them are so long and punishing that the length seems to be more cruel than it does value for money. A few do have checkpoints but a lot of them don't. I am not too proud to say I used save-states just for my own sanity to get through this. I don't normally like to use them beyond some QoL stuff like saving time putting in Passwords, or to practice a boss, but there are so many bullshit sections I felt like it was the only way I'd play more than 10 mins.

I did beat the mine-cart level pure though, I had to do it for young me.

I cannot fathom the patience I must have had as a kid. I think I initially decided to play it partly out of twisted nostalgia, but after a few levels I was essentially on some sort of revenge quest to vanquish the ghosts of that shit game

Dogshit

Pocahontas [Sega Mega Drive]

Am I gaming's top boy? Not really for me to say, but hard to deny it given the streak I'm on at the moment. I randomly decided to play this after seeing a 'Disney games on the Mega Drive/Genesis' video by the excellent SNES Drunk

Most people know that this era of Disney games actually yielded a pretty solid group of classic licensed games - even ones that had different versions on either console like Aladdin. One I hadn't actually ever tried on this list though was Pocohantas, and I actually thought it looked pretty interesting in the video. It has a rotoscoped animation style like Prince of Persia or Flashback, and it actually suits the game really well. There is zero combat in the game, and instead it's a puzzle platformer - for most of the levels you're able to switch between Pocohontas and her Raccoon mate Meeko, and most levels are about figuring out how to use their different abilities and limitations to help each other out to create pathways for each other. As the levels go on Pocohontas gets more and more abilities by rescuing various animals, so you start off pretty limited, but by the end she can swim underwater, sprint, etc. It's a smart way to gradually introduce new mechanics into the game whilst still staying on theme, and it suits the game really well

It's obviously aimed at kids, so it never gets too challenging - there are hardly any enemies in the game and the platforming puzzles tend to be more about figuring out what to do rather than pulling off some tricky skill gauntlet. It's actually a pretty good, well made game - it's not exactly some must-play hidden gem, but it wasn't some braindead baby game either.

If anything my criticisms are that it's a little short. It felt as though they rush through the film and pretty much skip most of the middle and the end really. You basically go out, meet John Smith and rescue him and the game is finished. Also for a game based on a Disney film they music is pretty bad - there is obviously lots of music to draw on, but other than a few sections, 95% of the game's entire sountrack is just some looping midi version of 'Colours of the Wind' which gets real fucking old real quickly, to the point I just had to turn the sound down on the game

Overall I'd say it was worth checking out as a curiosity, especially if you have an interest in those 90s Disney games. It's not exactly at the level of something like Castle of Illusion or Aladdin, but it's definitely leaning towards the upper end of those licensed movie games

I did actually play a little bit of both Castle of Illusion and World of Illusion but got bored and stopped halfway through both. It's funny because they're both better games than Taz-Mania and Pocohontas - significantly so in Taz-Mania's case, but they just didn't grab me in that moment. I've played them both to death in my childhood, so maybe familiarity outweighed nostalgia in this case. Still, they get a mention in the name of posterity

[sleepy-gray-fox]

I've been volunteering at a rehab since 2020 and can confirm this is NOT how you care for animals you plan to release. We don't even name our patients most of the time to limit attachment, and the ones that do get names are more descriptors like "Road Rash Baby," "Mama Possum," or my favorite "Unicorn Wing" for a hawk whose wing wrap ended in a point.

While I've only ever seen one stoat, and it was an adult, if they need a playmate then she should have reached out to other rehabbers to find a foster sibling. At the very least, she could use puppets and toys, and hand feed with a reflective mask so the animal sees itself when it looks at her instead of a human face.

And for the raccoons, ohhhhh boy. There's no way they were ready to be released in 2 weeks if she could have them that close to her face. Those are the raccoons that will go to peoples houses with no fear. I would be fired if I posted a picture of myself cuddling a patient like that, and with no gloves! Besides the risk of habituating (I say risk but I think it's too late) she's exposing herself to raccoon roundworm, and depending on Illinois laws that could be considered rabies exposure as well, which would be a death sentence for the raccoons (I guess not in this case if they were released, but putting yourself that close to an animal like that... I wouldn't do that with the friendliest habituated raccoon, let alone one meant to be released!)

The one thing I will "defend" is that a proper, licensed rehabber may work out of their home, either exclusively for a small rehab, or in the case of the hospital where I volunteer, one of the staff will take home certain neonate species. She has mammal ICU incubators and feeds them round the clock, and brings them back when they're older. But she would never cuddle them like that and risk their chances of survival.

Hey so I don't know much about the situation, I just wanted to share the news, but saveafox is now posting about a baby stoat they rehabbed. I have no experience in animal rehab so I can't say whether they managed the situation appropriately (I think she had a video in the past where she showed off her rehab animals and they were living in her house and getting human contact??) but if anyone has any insight please do share

[killian-whump]

I'm trying so hard not to "cancel" Colin over this whole NFT thing but I don't know if I'll be able to keep loving him. I wish I could believe this was a bad move on his part and that he innocently got duped but I can't help but feel that he knows very well what he's doing and is trying to take advantage of his fans. The way he kept being friends with Michael Coleman and interacting with him on twitter already left a sour taste in my mouth. I think this is the last straw for me and it HURTS

I've spoken about the whole Michael Coleman thing on this blog many times before. I don't want to repeat myself all over again - but I will say that I don't like the guy, I've had bad run-ins with him online, and I believe the allegations made against him are likely true.

That said, I'm not Colin. Colin's knowledge of Coleman is entirely different than mine - he's actually spent a lot of time with the guy, on the show and off, and knows him far better than any of us do. I support Colin's right to make his own decisions about whether he thinks Coleman is guilty or not - and, for that matter, I support his right to maintain the relationship (if there even IS one anymore) even if he thinks the allegations are true.

If anyone wants to know more about my opinions on Coleman or Colin's continued interaction with him, there's plenty to read at the link above - and if you have further questions, go ahead and ask.

Now... for the NFT nonsense.

I mean, ALL of the offensive nonsense has all come from one direction thus far - and I think we all know that's who spearheaded this whole cockamamie plan. Colin's merely a cog in that plan - a cog that grants credibility, a larger platform, and access to an already-existing fanbase.

It's Occam's Razor, Nonny. And as always, follow the money. Or, in this case, follow where the money was intended to go. It was all intended to fund Rothberg's TSR/Xataverse nonsense - which is all NFT bullshit from beginning to end. And look, despite this whole debacle, Colin's not really an NFT Bro. He's not running around with "eth" in his usernames and ugly ass monkeys for pfps. Rothberg, on the other hand, IS a total NFT Bro.

The only thing I think Colin's actually guilty of here is falling for a pitch he shouldn't have - and considering he seems to be the only one around here who did... Well, I said before he had more to lose in this debacle than any of us do, and that's still true. No harm, no foul as far as I'm concerned 🤷‍♀️ I just hope his career recovers from it.

And seriously... he needs to fire a guy. Or hire a guy. I don't even care which. He just... clearly there isn't anyone on his payroll giving him good career advice, because if there was, this wouldn't have happened. Like, there are people whose entire career is helping celebrities not completely fuck things up for themselves. If Colin doesn't have someone like that on his side, he needs to get someone like that on his side so shit like this doesn't happen.

Or, shit, he could just send an anonymous Ask to one of us here on Tumblr - "Hey, what if Colin started selling NFTs?" and see what happens. When we all laugh and say that would be The Worst Thing Ever and A Humungous Failure, maybe don't do that thing.

I dunno, Nonny. For me, the issue isn't whether I'm gonna cancel Colin or stop liking him... it's more like when you're riding on a bus, having a nice time, and then suddenly you realize the bus is being driven by a raccoon.

[liquid-geodes]

Nickname: Link

Zodiac: Gemini

Height: 5'2

Hogwarts House: JK Rowling and her books can burn in hell, they aren't even that good in the first place. Fuck you.

Last Thing I Googled: UPS package tracking-

Song Stuck in my Head: Catallena by Orange Caramel

Number of Followers: 863

Amount of sleep: :/

Lucky Number: 16 (or 8 when unavailable)

Dream Job: dinosaur

Wearing: 2XL Shrek meme shirt (you know the one) and Friday the 13th boxers. Fuck pants. All my homies hate pants.

Favorite Author: I'm Jared 19-

Favorite Instrument: mayonnaise instruments of destruction <3

Aesthetic: the skater boy from Avril Lavigne's song "Sk8r boi" but at the time in his life immediately after she said "see you later boy"

Favorite Song: I have like 3 favorites at the moment; Symphony of Skin by I the Mighty, Choke by IDK How But They Found Me, and Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

Favorite Animal Noise: every sound a cat has ever made ever, when crows talk back to you, raccoons' beep cheeps and other assorted chirping noises

Random: I love my job at the Krusty Krab, I sleep with my shoes on, I like jam on both sides of my toast, I've got an overdue library book, I think jellyfishing and bubble blowing are the... [Transition while still listing secrets]...overbite, I've never been late to work, I've said the word "fancy" in conversation, I like to dance to loading zone announcements, I still don't have my driver's license. I'm a little bit on the short side. And I'm wearing three pairs of underwear right now.

IDK who to tag so random bullshit go!

17 questions, 17 people! (I’m severely procrastinating homework right now aha)

1. Nickname: Dee!

2. Zodiac: Cancer in June

3. Height: Lower side of five foot lol

4. Hogwarts house: Gryffindor or Slytherin

5. Last thing I googled: antiderivative of cscx

6. Song stuck in my head: Fuck it, I love you by Lana Del Rey

7. Number of followers: 555

8. Amount of sleep: bahahaha it’s bad.

9. Lucky number: seven!

10. Dream job: A C-level

11. Wearing: a gigantic sweatshirt and sweatpants

12. Favorite author: Oh damn. Madeleine L’Engle

13. Favorite instrument: I hate instruments <3

14. Aesthetic: Basic and nerdy (mom jeans and turtlenecks)

15. Favorite song: Sweater Weather because I’m basic

16. Favorite animal noise: I hate animals <3 um cats can be cute though

17. Random: I’ve been obsessed with algebra lately??

Tagging: uhhh seventeen people? @cattaralol @dogwithalamp @arghmuffin @analynasi @p34rl34rring @whattheheehaw @avatar-the-last-jerkbender @honeymilkchai @enamqred @b-bellarke @zuko-thee-stallion @tea-and-la and anyone else who wants to!