#i don't think they'll take this metaphor much further

[mochiajclayne]

Hi there,

I hope you're doing well.

i read your post regarding SasuSaku and Sarada as a family and you stole the words right off my mouth.

I'd like to know your thoughts and opinions on Sasuke Retsiden because from what I can see, its only Jun Esaka (a mere light novel writer that writes non canon stuff) all over the internet being equally all over about her Sasuke Retsuden. I haven't seen any other light novel writer being more active about something non canon. Even kishimoto himself doesnt behave like this regarding his own work.

I'd like to also know about your opinions regarding Jun Esaka ATTEMPTING to remove or metaphorically kill Karin Uzumaki by making the main villain a Karin look alike and giving her sensory abilities to Sakura, which again, makes no sense. Does that woman hate Karin and SK so much? Is that woman so threatened by the very thought of SK as a couple that she had to incorporate a villain that looks like Karin Uzumaki down to a tee?

These are just my thoughts and speculations but I'm also really interested in knowing your side of the story.

Thanks for reading my long comment and i wish you a wonder day/afternoon/evening/night

Hi, @theuntamedangel! I appreciate the long comment! I hope you have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening/night, too!

Before I share my thoughts about Sasuke Retsuden, let me share that I did, unfortunately, have a sasusaku phase. I know. Shocker. The entire lore is here in case you're interested (promise it's relevant to my explanation).

I did hear about Sasuke Retsuden when I was still in college. Bits of information, specifically, about the chakra ring and from a perspective of someone who used to ship sasusaku casually, my initial reaction was okay good for them and I went on with my day. Note that I wasn't as heavily engaged in the Naruto fandom like I do now so for me to isn't active back then, hearing about Sasuke Retsuden, speaks volume on how it is over the internet that it even reached me.

I hate Sasuke Retsuden. It's badly written, it's OOC especially for OG Naruto characters, and the canon inaccuracies are more than enough to drive me into aneurysm.

Below this cut is my detailed thoughts about Sasuke Retsuden.

The villain looking like the male version of Karin caught me off guard. I don't know what the intentions behind the character design but I think they aimed for association as Jiji, one of the characters from this godforsaken novel, reminded me of Juugo.

I am not a sasukarin shipper but I do understand where the shippers are speaking from. I think they'll make a cool couple because Karin actually freaking cares about Sasuke when shit gets serious and outside of her "gag", she respects Sasuke's boundaries. Might be speaking out of the box but this novel in its existence was meant to be sasusaku-centric so the possibility of being threatened by all Sasuke-related ships, especially those making far more sense than SS, is high. I don't think Jun Esaka hates Karin. I would dare say that she picked a random character that could work as a direct contender to Sakura and unfortunately, she decided to scapegoat Karin. Moreover, the entire sensory ability shtick added to Sakura was uncalled for. I would go even further and say that Esaka's version of Sakura is what her stans hailed her to be--a superior version of [insert any Naruto's female character]. Even their pink haired kunoichi is incredibly OOC here and you expect me to take her seriously?

The funniest thing about Sasuke Retsuden is the way that they had to use SNS at first, specifically, Sasuke's mission is to find a cure for that chakra illness that Naruto alone suffers. Sure, this is SS centric but it all comes down to Sasuke and Sakura working together to find a cure for Naruto. Now, she could just write a novel about SS without using Naruto's "sickness" as some kind of a plot device, right? But no, she had to convince us somehow and an effective way to do that is literally Naruto and Sasuke.

The dinosaur. Don't even get me started. Even tailed beasts cannot fight against Sharingan to the point that canon graciously provided us evidence of both Madara and Obito controlling the Nine Tailed Beast. The very same Sharingan that made the higher ups of Konoha suspect the Uchiha clan as mastermind for that same incident. We're talking about the same dojutsu that manipulated the Fourth Mizukage. The canon inaccuracy throws me off the loop.

More inaccuracies. Suddenly Sasuke is an Earth and Ice Style user. Wow. Conveniently forgetting about Kakashi mentioning in Part 1 how Ice Style is a Kekkei Genkai that even Sharingan can't copy. As far as Naruto canon goes, Sasuke is a Fire and Lightning Style user. I don't consider Boruto as canon but even that animanga doesn't show any moment of Sasuke using Earth Style. It's insane that people claimed this as canon.

THIS DISTURBING INTERACTION. I did say that the OG Naruto characters are OOC in this shitshow novel and yes, unfortunately that includes Sakura. We've seen the way she react around Naruto's sexy ninjutsu antics. Unless objectification of women or the mere implication of it doesn't perturb her, then it says more about how Esaka portrayed her. I'd personally file a restraining order when a guy says he'd settle for my old, half smoked cigarette butts. I'm surprised that she didn't throw any snide remarks here.

WHO IS THIS SASUKE AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM. This panel made me laugh so hard because I feel like Esaka straight up ignored that Sasuke canonically spent years with his family before the Uchiha downfall happened. I don't think he'd be this clueless about how a married couple acts. Even in flashbacks, Sasuke was shown around his parents or Itachi, literally with his family. I think he knows well enough about married couples.

The ring part as well makes me cackle because Kurenai literally wears a ring in Shippuden. Trust me, Juugo-look-a-like, rings are used in Konoha by couples.

The Uchiha clan symbol takes me out because AREN'T YOU GOING UNDERCOVER IN THIS PRISON? WHY ARE YOU SHOWING THAT OFF?

The Chakra ring in question. Finding out the lore behind this further upset me and I am thankful that I no longer ship sasusaku. Show these panels out of context to someone with little to no exposure to canon and it would be romantic but if you know Narutoverse like the back of your hand, this novel served nothing. Seriously, the fact that Sasuke is incredibly OOC on this novel speak volumes. Imagine annihilating Sasuke's character to make SS work? Insanity.

Writing Edo Tensei with rose tinted glasses disgust me. That jutsu is straight up manipulating a dead body at your bidding. Tobirama shouldn't have invented that jutsu. Hinting that jutsu to be used to revive a loved one that passed away is vile and disgusting. The lack of attention to canon isn't a new thing for Esaka at this point.

Even this novel can't cover up the fact that Sakura doesn't know Sasuke well. If there's one thing that's consistent in the prequel, it was Naruto that gets into trouble. Sasuke doesn't use honorifics and he got away with it. His bluntness doesn't get him and everyone around him in trouble. Sasuke only began resorted to extremes when he was batshit blind and sinking into the unhinged depths of his hatred. Probably the only things that Sakura got correctly was Sasuke's kindness and his nonchalance about his looks but that's it. So the claim of knowing Sasuke inside and out is preposterous. The one who can say that is, guess who? Naruto.

Ending this long analysis with this panel because honestly, Ino is asking the questions for me. Unfortunately, despite being "married", their dynamic stayed the same. Sakura is still that same girl that has a crush on Sasuke, except she's in her 30s and Sasuke is still the same boy that rejected her date offers and the idea of being together with her, even reaching the point that he's away from her a lot.

I do apologize for going off to the point that I decided to pull a meta post about this. I do hope you're doing well and I appreciate the ask!

[emelinstriker]

I love how all the asks just blew up with Azure's release, this is funny to me. Meanwhile, I'm still planning my wedding to Wukong and Macaque-

Now, because you're focusing so much on Azure, I don't expect a response to this right away, but here's more brain dump about the wedding details.

So I looked more into polyamorous weddings and found out that they are not legal. It's not legal in many places! Of course, not legal in many places does not mean all places, and therefore I discovered that a man can marry multiple women but a woman can't marry multiple men. However, with further research, I discovered that Africa and Asia are both places where it is legal to marry any type of polyamory and given Wukong and Macaque are technically Chinese, it works! Therefore, if we aren't already in China, We need to jump on the Mink Express and yes, I will have Mink turn into a train for this. Why Mink and why a train, you ask? ... ... Anyways, if we go to China then everything's legal and right and such. But what if we want to marry somewhere specific? That would mean we can only legally marry one with works anyways and I would marry Macaque first so he would legally be our husband. The marriage with Wukong would not be legal and would just be a ceremony announcing the next step of our relationship.

But after all that research, I remembered that the Champions and by extent the Readers care not for the legalities so ignore literally everything I just said. Let's get to the fun stuff, little situations I imagined!:

The cake wouldn't be a normal wedding cake, but fruit cake to better appease to the monkeys taste buds! I imagine it would look like a normal cake but have, like chunks of peach in it or even slices of peach on each layer. I feel like Nezha would convince Red Son to add certain designs and just overall help with the design of the cake. Still don't know how to epxplain my thought process there though......

With the release of Azure, I decided that he would try to take most of the planning off of our shoulders, orchestrating the whole thing according to whatever we wanted. If there was something we wanted and couldn't have for some reason, never fear! He'll fix that up with a stern talking to which might result in him bringing home lunch for the other Champions, if you know what I mean. He would also definitely walk the Reader down the aisle with his little bottom fanged smile!

For you, #1 Oracle Fan Anon, we'll invite the Oracle to the wedding and they'll chill in the back with his colleagues/friends. (sorry if I got any of the wrong, I haven't looked to deep into the Oracle's lore) The Oracle would probably leave as soon as possible unless convinced otherwise by this colleagues/friends.

We would also invite the Wukong, Macaque, and MK (and Red Son?) from the neighboring AU, "The King and his Cub" by theweepingegg. TKC Macaque would be bitter about the whole thing, but I think TKC Wukong would also be another man of honor with ESAU MK. And TKC MK would pull some wacky hijinks with TKC Red Son.

And Mink, how could I have almost forgotten him?! (I think it's because I secretly hold a grudge against him for being too Jax-core. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't really like Jax for being Sans-core so this is all giving me major deja-vu) Mink would do the minimal amount of effort into helping but he would get us a gift. A colander in particular. Nothing else. When we open it, he would hold up a finger, signalling to give him a moment, sit in the colander for a brief period of time, then melt out of it and disappear of the rest of the night. Again, I can't explain my thought process here.

The fact that this meme works in not just in a literal, but also a metaphorical sense tho-

But yasss I love those ideas fhgnfhgffghfngh I find it funny though how you did research on poly marriages and just threw it right out the window cuz we ain't goin' with standard weddings up in here fhgnfhgnhfg

[disgr-aced]

my brain has caught up with jrwi, and now I'm thinking about the parallels between Gillian Tidestrider and Ava Ferin, and the reason why Ava might have been killed.

-Both were trained by a leader of their respective society to be a powerful weapon (The Admiral for Ava, and the Elders for Gillion)

-Both were taken from their families to do so (iirc either Jay or Jayson mentioned how Jayson didn't want Ava or Jay to join the Navy once apon a time, possibly pre-brainwashing. And we know how Gillion was taken and isolated from his family.)

-Both are/were infused with prophetic power that comes from or is aligned to one of the two major goddesses (actually I think I'm just assuming Ava had the red hair and divine blood like Jay, but even if that's not the case she still comes from a bloodline clearly associated with the sun goddess)

-Both may have been following a prophecy that may or may not have been twisted by their elders (Gill and the undersea prophecy and how that was revealed by the tree to have been changed to suit the Elders purpose, and then we have the whole Ferin blood prophecy written in celestial that Jay found in ep 115, and that her grandmother seemed to have been using/taking inspiration from, although don't ask me for details about it because I was too stressed to retain any information)

Anyway, with this plus the implication of there being a second chosen one, I believe that Ava was being groomed to be the chosen one just as much as Gill was, and further down the line, someone in the navy got wind of the undersea version of the prophecy, and realised that they couldn't harness the power of the sea for themselves if the chosen one won and decided to get rid of the sea forever.

And even if that risk is remote, that the prophecy they heard was wrong, and there was no chance the chosen one would destroy the ocean, the possibility of there being a grain of truth to it might have been too much to let slide. Which means Ava had to go, just in case.

And now they know Gill is out there (not alone, and at full power even after being banished), they'll come for him too. The Admiral seems like the type of person to cover all bases, metaphorically and literally. Perhaps the black sea base with the dead tritons was designed to be a trap for him, a place he would attack with righteous fury on learning that his people had been tortured there. Maybe each navy base had some well-placed 'accidentally left out' documents alluding to that base and the experiments happening there, directly to trick Gill into finding out and charging in. After all, that's what he's known for, that was Jaysons first impression of him (and oh my god I've just remembered the captains at the allport base talking about moving the chosen one. That's gotta be doppelgilly. that's for another post but holy shit).

A nice, clean way to get rid of the chosen one, far away from prying eyes in the ruined sea, and while he's there, it would be a good opportunity to replace him with a version that is nice and obedient to the navy's plans. No chance of that prophetic choice being made incorrectly then haha(haha).

Bonus connection:

-Both Ava and Gill fell in love with a pirate originally from the Black Rose, who over the course of time convinced them that they were worth more than whatever plan their leaders set in place for them.

[katie-the-bug]

I keep reading these books and I keep hating them. But here I am anyway.

I'm at roughly the midpoint of the Left Behind series, having finished Assassins and The Indwelling. While the writing is a little better and there's definitely more stuff happening, that doesn't mean the books themselves are any more enjoyable. Talking about them here is fun though, so, without further ado, Assassins.

The Cast:

The Tribulation Force: Rayford Steele, freelance pilot who wants to kill the Antichrist; Buck Williams, cyberjournalist and action hero; Chloe Williams, Rayford's daughter, Buck's wife, Kenny's mother; Kenny Williams, infant; Tsion Ben-Judah, internet evangelist; Floyd Charles, doctor; Leah Rose, nurse; Mac McCullum, Antichrist's pilot, secret Christian; Abdullah Smith, Mac's copilot, also a secret Christian; David Hassid, IT guy and double agent.

The Global Community: Nicolae Carpathia, Potentate of the GC and Antichrist; Leon Fortunato, Satan's little helper; Peter Mathews, dissident Pope of Enigma Babylon One World Faith.

Others: Hattie Durham, Nicolae's murderously bitter ex; Chaim Rosenzweig, Israeli scientist and friend of Buck and Tsion; Albie, Rayford's black market contact; the two witnesses, resurrected saints yelling at the world.

The blurb advertises that a member of the Tribulation Force will die. It does not advertise that it will be an important member dying a plot-relevant death.

In the first few pages we get something new - a viewpoint character that isn't Rayford or Buck. The authors couldn't justify having them in Antichrist HQ anymore, and TV broadcasts can only exposit so much, so I guess their hand was forced.

The group's second pastor Tsion is explicitly described as having been "provided to replace Bruce." This is a bit of a trend - they'll lose a character, only to get a substitute with the same skills. Pastor Bruce dies, Pastor Tsion shows up. Pilot Ken dies, pilot T shows up. This is the first time the authors have admitted it, though.

In Chapter 3, Dr. Charles starts dying of a poison he contracted from Hattie while she was giving birth...more than ten months ago. I gotta wonder if they promised to kill off a character before writing the book and decided the best thing to do was to have a character whose usefulness ran out die a pointless and plot-irrelevant death.

Dr. Charles isn't even cold on the operating table before he's replaced with nurse Leah Rose.

David dismisses the idea of faking the Mark of the Beast, whose implementation will cost him his job and his ability to trade. No reason is given why they shouldn't try such a basic espionage tactic, and I can only assume the characters like being helpless.

In Chapter 5, Hattie disappears, presumably heading to New Babylon to try and kill Nicolae, whose attempt to poison her months ago led to the death of her unborn child. I'm rooting for her.

All the character have to say about Hattie is that she's "ditzy" and "not smart enough" to pull off the scheme they think she's trying. The actual events of the story don't back up Hattie's supposed lack of intelligence, but she's a woman who refuses to convert to True Christianity, so in the authors' minds I suppose that makes her the stupidest person imaginable.

Abdullah, a former Muslim, describes his wife's conversion to Christianity as her "taking up a religion from some mysterious, faraway country." I'm no religious expert but I'm pretty sure Muslims do not view Christianity as an exotic foreign religion. I will say that the reverse sounds much more plausible.

In Chapter 8, two hundred million demonic horsemen descend on the world, visible only to True Christians, intangible yet spitting actual fire and smoke. This peculiar existence is a result of Tsion - and by extension the authors - not knowing whether the description of said horsemen in Revelation was supposed to be a metaphor. Fair compromise - it's a pretty safe assumption to make that a demonic cavalry running around killing a third of the human population represents a demonic cavalry running around killing a third of the human population.

The two witnesses describe the impending death of billions as "yet another attempt to reach you by a loving God who has run out of patience." No wonder it's a global holiday when these two die.

Tsion parrots the notion that "Babylon is where idolatry originated." This is a bit of pseudohistory perpetuated by Christians who believe that everyone worshiped their God until roughly 2000 BC, when the Babylonian civilization decided to make their own religion with blackjack and hookers.

Tsion also complains that "idol and demon worship, sorcery, and illicit sex" are "applauded in the new tolerant society." Just in case you forgot these books were written by boomers.

In a private conversation with Leon, Nicolae expresses his intention to personally kill the two witnesses, and I gotta say, no nonfictional politician would ever get their hands dirty personally solving a problem like the one the two witnesses represent. He has my vote.

Leon straight-up tells Nicolae that he loves him, and I have a new ship.

David overhears Nicolae in his office praying directly to Lucifer. I don't really know what to make of this, other than that it makes no sense for Nicolae to be confused later in the story when he keeps making Antichrist prophecies come true.

In Chapter 14, Chaim argues that God could get people's attention without killing them, and that the cruelty of the judgements he's experiencing don't gel with the idea of a loving God. The other characters have never managed to rebut this argument, probably because Chaim is right.

Hattie is missing in a suspiciously staged-looking plane crash, and the characters have decided that she's been captured or killed by the GC. The plot is moving forward on these assumptions, because God forbid we think for a second that Hattie might be doing something cool.

It's confirmed that she's been captured, but Rayford, who's trying to find her, is never informed, leading him to give his real name and mission to a GC man who he thinks is a mercenary pilot he's never met. Nothing about this is intelligent, but the authors will never call Rayford stupid - only Hattie gets to be stupid.

In Chapters 17 and 18, Rayford flies to the Middle East with a couple of believers (who happen to be fellow pilots) so he can buy a gun from Albie. He leaves them in a cafe to test out said gun, and when they get back, his new friends have been shot dead for reasons that are never explained. I've concluded that once a character is introduced, they can never leave the story in peace - they have to die to build atmosphere, no matter how contrived the circumstances.

Tsion advises against believers taking the Mark of the Beast, because the Mark of the Beast is "irrevocable" and damns you forever. Yet the Seal of God that true believers have is also "irrevocable" and guarantees you go to Heaven. What happens if a sealed believer takes the Mark of the Beast? Does it not affect them? Do they lose their salvation? Does Limbo pop into existence just for them?

A group of dancers preparing for Nicolae's "Global Gala" finish a "lascivious routine" about which we unfortunately get no details, and Mac decries the "individual freedom" that permits such a thing. Remember, kids, when a Christian fundamentalist says they believe in "freedom" they mean "my freedom to oppress people."

In Chapter 20 Mac decides that, if Nicolae doesn't die soon, he'll crash his plane with him in it. I say, even if Nicolae does die and come back to life, why not give it a shot anyway? Your prophecies only say he'll come back from his first death - if you manage to kill him again, he might stay dead.

At the appointed time in Chapter 22, the two witnesses lose all their supernatural power and subsequently die of high-velocity lead poisoning courtesy of Nicolae. Yay!

They come back three days later. Damn.

Nicolae gives another speech. Rayford brings his gun, Mac and Abdullah are both carrying theirs, three of Nicolae's sub-potentates are disloyal, and despite everything, the characters keep seeing Hattie around. I think they should all go for Nicolae at once. That would be really funny.

Rayford's gun goes off by accident and Nicolae goes down. A distraught Leon immediately takes Nicolae in his arms and begs him not to die, to no avail. My ship is chugging along merrily.

That's all for this one. I'll be back with The Indwelling shortly.

[dreamcatcher-roulette]

Anonymous asked:

Hullo, hope you're doing well and enjoying the comeback and the albums 🤩🤩 looking forward to when they'll show up in roulette!

Pls feel free to ignore as this may be a little dumb, but I figured you might know?

From what I can vaguely understand from Wiki and from your past response, can I assume TV broadcast files are usually .ts files? And that it's not the file type that dictates the "quality," but rather the encoding?

There's a Twitter account (😭 I forgot which, it's lost on my timeline now) that occasionally posts .ts files of DC's music show performances, the most recent file being :

240718.MnetJP.엠카운트다운.드림캐쳐.JUSTICE.H264.AAC.1080i-AbySSS.ts

Going off the name and what you've mentioned before about "best quality" where 1080i h264 is better than Youtube, would this file probably be better than downloading the YT video of the same performance?

Fake ask again to strip links because I'm really good at being unnecessarily paranoid but YES! I am having a blast. Siyeon’s absence is felt but it's nice to see her still pop up in some of the YouTube show performances. Handong is totally killing her parts too though so it's been fun seeing that 😁

On the question of quality:

(Minor point of clarity: the encoding is an aspect which determines the quality but not the only one. The simplest quality measure is probably taking into account encoding AND bitrate, where bitrate is the amount of data being displayed per second and encoding is how efficiently it's compressed. Technically the best quality is the highest possible bitrate with zero compression but that's just not feasible, so this is where encodings come in. Newer encodings are, as a rule of thumb, better quality than older ones at "sensible" bitrates, but, as in the case of YouTube for example, a much lower bitrate can make a newer encoding look much worse than an older one. That's why in my quality ranking YouTube was beneath MPEG2 - YouTube is almost all h264 for 1080p, which is newer than MPEG2, but the bitrates drag the quality down the drain.)

Generally 1080i recordings, in their "rawest" form, are MPEG-TS (.ts) files, yeah. 4k are more commonly posted in MP4 though I've found. I'm speculating here based off my own experiences (I haven't ever asked anyone who does this if this is the true reason) but I think that's because MPEG-TS just isn’t efficient enough at high bitrates to provide a very pleasant viewing experience. Let me demonstrate using a convoluted metaphor:

Say you’re a marble vendor and you are looking to transport two blue marbles and two red marbles to one of your clients. You need a container to send them in. Because these marbles are quite precious you want to make sure that they are sent in a well fortified box, but you also care about fitting as many boxes as possible into your supply trucks, so you don't want to waste any space inside of them. You pack all four marbles tightly into the box and seal it up.

When your client receives their shipment, they open it up and can easily see all four marbles in the box. There isn’t much incentive for them to move the marbles since, even though the box has a bit of a heavy hinge, it's not really that big of a deal and any other box would incur some cost in opening it too. They place the box on their shelf and don't worry about it any further.

Now imagine you want to send a client one hundred thousand marbles. But your boxes still only fit four marbles each. The transportation is easy and efficient because the boxes stack nicely (assume for a moment you also have an extremely efficient marble box packing machine), but, once they all arrive at their destination, your client doesn't want to search through hundreds of boxes trying to find the marble they are looking for. They want to move all those marbles to a much bigger and well sorted marble... Okay I really don't know what people normally store hundreds of thousands of marbles in. But the point being that even though all the marbles are still the same, at a certain volume the transportation container was no longer optimal to keep at the destination. 4k HEVC .ts files are HORRIBLY inefficient at rendering even on relatively good hardware and moving the data to MP4 has huge performance benefits.

So the file extension of the source doesn't matter? Well I still think it does, psychologically. I would always trust a .ts more than a .mp4 at 1080i. It isn't possible for you to know, without the original, that what the uploader did was a remux (changing the container) rather than a re-encode (a lossy operation which, best case scenario, produced an output that looks equivalent to the human eye because nothing crucial was lost). Well intentioned people accidentally re-encode to MP4 all the time without realising what it does to the integrity of the file. It's much less likely someone has had the same mishap in the other direction because .ts is not a commonly desired destination. So even though a remuxed MP4 is identical in quality to it's MPEG-TS source, in order to avoid other people's translation errors I would always trust an available .ts first.

That file, assuming it is what it says it is, would absolutely be better than downloading the same performance from YouTube. YouTube has done a lossy re-encode on the video the broadcaster uploaded and will not ever serve you the original. A really obvious symptom of this is the file sizes. YouTube will always be a lot smaller. (For the same encoding. Which by the way you can find out by using Media Info. AVC=h264, HEVC=h265) It's pretty noticeable to the human eye in motion, so it can be a fun exercise to play the two side by side and compare. It's also noticeable on a frame by frame level if you use a player that lets you do that.

But yeah, in summary, YouTube's version of that performance will be unquestionably worse. On average it will be missing 3/4 of the information stored in the original. Which, because of how cool compression is, actually still produces a pretty decent image, but it falls apart in motion and really if you are an individual wanting to watch something for your own enjoyment instead of a big company trying to optimise their bandwidth usage there's just no need to sacrifice those pixels.

[send-me-a-puffalope]

"never ending" by chai is so Vanessa core to me

“when the end is the beginning I begin to wonder why it begun...

And all these walls reflect the paths I've walked and lost and drew and won!

In one way, I've a choice to make... But tell me, who's stealing my fate?

Because I know that I'm STUCK. Within the END THAT'S NEVER ENDING NEVER BENDING MY LUCK.

Cross the wires, pull 'em nice and tight. And maybe then, we'll both forget you scripted the fight.

Burn the bridges, burn the book you use. So in the end, we'll both pretend the story is true.

Repeating everyday. Employee 427, but the job I "have" I can't remember taking..?

Your "story" is mistaken, don't waste it on a guy like me, huh!?

Is there really a truth? Because I'm farting, dashing, dodging every trick and every ruse!

It's beat by beat, I'm on my feet and running loops around the ring!

Without a thought, you say I'm 'caught', but still you can't pull on my strings!

Go right or left, or up, or down, a double take? A switch around?

I hear alarms, the warning sounds. I'm stuck inside a PRISON GROUND?!

Walking the same paths that you set out, spiraling much further down. Your kingship is uncrowded.

Make everybody love you. I'm sure they'll buy it all, too, why not do everything wrong, huh?!

Let's both share smiles as you wallow in self doubt.

Is there reason at all?

Because I'm getting kinda sick of all these repeating halls! I've got nowhere to run.

And all these walls reflect the paths you've drawn; you've binned and scrapped and stopped. In one way, you've got a choice to make... But tell me, can you still create?!

There's nothing left to say. Compiling brand new content, never stopping to think of that's what I wanted.

Did you just need the comments? Your "praise" is all just nonsense, responses are all you need, right?

Let's sacrifice your artistic intent.

Let's watch it burn in the fires of lament!

YOU DON'T CARE, NOT AT ALL!

Hey, do you know that I'm the one who's suffering at your call? And do you comprehend that I'm the one who's STUCK IN THESE WALLS?

When the end is the beginning I begin to wonder WHEN it begun...

Because I'm being mocked by broken walls, trust me this ISN'T fun. I've never had a choice to make.

Is it still you sealing my fate?!

So tell me, who's the one behind the scenes thriving on distrust?!”

Makes me think of Vanessa. Yeah (some are said to Mike ig, and most are said to William)

HELPFOQJFO IS THIS SONG ABOUT STANLEY PARABLE ?/?/??//// saw Employee 427 and I got hit with like a brick of memories. The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never—

Any song with a puppet on strings metaphor sends my brain STRAIGHT to Vanessa JFJSJJFI

[thessalian]

Faerun!Alisaie vs This Underdark Bullshit

After a somewhat mad party and some reassurances for Lae'zel that "we will get there, I promise"...

Gale: And even though we've cleared a side path, now we're taking the front door. Now when they all know to hate us.

Alisaie: Do you really think this is going to be that hard?

Gale: ...Probably not, no, but there'll be more further in and saving energy feels like a thing--

Alisaie: They are leaderless goblins and bugbears.

Wyll: And one ogre.

Alisaie: Okay, yes, and one ogre. We can deal with this. We have taken shits scarier than them!

Gale: ...Collectively, or--?

Shadowheart: Stop bringing nit-pick logic into her motivational speech.

Some fairly easy hacking through goblins and bugbears (and two humans and an ogre) later, in the Shattered Sanctum

Gale: What are you doing?!? The spiders are in there!

Alisaie: I got this. *chugs a Potion of Speaks With Animals*

Spider: Yum!

Alisaie: There are goblins out there and they're way yummier than us. Go eat them.

Spider: Okay!

Wyll: I can't decide if that's briliant or brutal.

Alisaie: Eh, I gave them corpses to chew on and they'll live in the ruins lest anyone decide to try moving back in--

Goblins: *screaming in the distance*

Spiders: Yay! Live prey! Finally some enrichment!

Alisaie: *snorts laughter*

Wyll: ...What? What did it say?

Alisaie: They were bored. They are no longer bored. But I don't really want them to die so... *shoots an arrow at the goblin being eaten by spider*

Goblin: *dies*

Spider: Thanks. Matriarch said I shouldn't play with my food.

Alisaie: *heads for Priestess Gut's chambers, laughing her ass off*

Wyll: What? What?!? What did it say?!?

Gale: Maybe we should all gargle those concoctions of hers. I think we miss some of the best jokes.

Alisaie: Oh, that reminds me; I should ask if Halsin found a mate for Tusk. Or was a mate for Tusk, whatever; I don't judge with druids.

Gale; Wyll; Shadowheart: Excuse you?!?

Alisaie: Later! I promise! I-- *walks into Priestess Gut's chambers; runs into ogre handmaiden/bodyguard* Oh. Hi there.

Ogre Handmaiden/Bodyguard: *looks unimpressed*

Alisaie: Hey, it's cool; we're just passing through. You won't even know we're here.

Ogre Handmaiden/Bodyguard: *grunts assent*

Gale: You could sell firelighting kits in hell, you know that?

Alisaie: Probably, but speaking of hell, let's get the hell out of here before she wises up and figures out I killed her boss yesterday.

Shadowheart: Well, much as I'm not entirely keen on performing rites to Selune, I suppose beating Her worshippers' little floor puzzle would be worth doing...

Alisaie: Or we can doubly flag up how ridiculous they were with their entrance-hiding and use the proverbial key they left under the metaphorical pot of begonias.

Shadowheart: What?

Alisaie: *disengages lock on Emergency 'We-Locked-Ourselves-Out' Lever; pulls lever*

Door to Underdark: *opens*

Shadowheart: ...Or we could do it that way too, I suppose.

Alisaie: Tell you what; I will totally do the next bit of ritual bullshit. Just for you. Okay?

Shadowheart: *only half-joking* You're so good to me.

[tempobrucera]

How about a director's cut for Tainted Church? 😊

Oh, yes, definitely.

Sacred Heart - Tainted Church is probably one of my favourite smut stories that I wrote? And after that (you know which one) photoshoot I had to.

I started (and have one in the middle and ended) it with a bible passage because it's smut that plays in an actual church, it's not a prayer or something, it's just something that is in the bible and is about sin, kind of

It has more metaphors in it than some other stories again by default. Thomas "dresses up" (which is a stretch, lol, he wears a clerical collar) as priest in this fic to seduce Reader to fuck in a church. Because he's quite desperate to get Reader to sin and be the one who gets Reader into that position in the first place and he isn't afraid to take some more, lets say, drastic measures, to get his way here

Even tho he dresses up as a priest and a religious kink was definitely the main reason why I wrote this, one of the first notes I made was: "What if Thomas is the personification of the devil?" And I kept to it, and I hinted at it through the whole fic (will come back to it) and also made more notes for this for the second part

I needed them to get to a church in the first place. I was thinking about a wedding invitation, about a confirmation, anything like that, first. But Italy is a really conservative Christian country actually, so I thought maybe I don't have to go that far but with that also go further, because Thomas wouldn't say no to his parents asking if they join him to go to church for some holiday (in my head it was something around Easter btw) and he knows that Reader wouldn't say no either even when they don't like churches or the concept or the concept of god and that they would never say no to something where Thomas tells them to do the opposite. He knows all that, so he takes it as his advantage

Reader loves the architecture in churches though which is really me. I love the architecture in religious buildings in general, it's something breathtaking. Old buildings in general and how much they have seen as they'll get to an age a human being could never

"You don’t like being judged by something so intangible as god, you know that he doesn’t either." -> I have said it before already but it can take a while to write sentences like this. Like there are probably 10 versions of this sentence and it's the only version that stuck. Also I found it an interesting concept to put two people who might be nonbelievers but still feel uncomfortable being judged by something that might be not exist into this scenario

"The deal is sealed. Oh, if you would have known that you just signed a contract with the devil, maybe you would have taken the way out." -> That Reader is saying yes to Thomas and the church visit is like a deal / a contract with the devil, just that Thomas was cheeky enough to not make it clear that this is in fact a deal, because he isn't planning on letting Reader off the hook now

"There’s nothing sacred to Thomas; you should have known." -> I love that little sentence here so much. It's like Reader should have known better, blaming themselves, because Reader knows Thomas

Thomas actually asks Reader to be honest with him when he asks if Reader is getting aroused. And the natural reaction of Reader is to still lie, even when it's really clear that it's a lie, especially to Thomas. But Reader lies because that's a normal reaction, or would you just be truthful from the start when you're ashamed of something? They are on a way to a church, and Reader desperately tries not to be desperate, while Thomas tries to get Reader desperate before they even reach the church and he wants Reader to be honest about their arousal

"In the distance you can hear a bell ringing; you should have taken it as a warning." -> Church bells have been rung as a warning throughout history. For example as a warning of invasion or as a warning when there's a flood

"“I don’t like starting things and not ending them.”" - He is lying, maybe not the first time, maybe not the last time. But in this case Reader is aware that it could be one

"Its disingenuously sweet. Too sweet for such a hellish tongue." -> You know, the devil and hell

"“You really are the devil,” you say. “Maybe.” He takes another drag and blows the smoke into your face. “But we will see who is going to go up flames when we step over the threshold. You or me.” -> He isn't denying it, or saying it's true. But he is having a lot of fun with playing with that shameful arousal of Reader with the things he does and says. Like, what he's saying is, yeah, maybe I am the devil but when time comes to tell, Reader might also go up in flames, end up in inferno because Reader is that sinful right now

"“I’m a sinner disguised as a saint, always.”" -> Actually there's a passage in the bible "And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light."

He lies about his parents, and maybe he lied about his parents from the start. Who knows. Only Thomas can tell

Thomas is praying next to Reader and all Reader can think about is getting between his legs, on her knees, which is a place of worship, kneeling but probably not sucking Thomas off

"A bouquet, made of arum lilies, twigs of cypress, red orchids and baby’s breath, that Thomas got you a while ago." -> I love love love the symbolism of flowers

"It’s such a shame you think, that they don’t survive long after they’ve been cut. How the flowers decay from a beautiful wonder of nature to a wilted bunch of sad looking creatures." -> Don't ask me how I wrote this because I can't tell you, I re-read it and was like how did that come out of my head, I really like it

Same goes for the memento mori part, no clue how I wrote this. But I know why I wrote it, both of it, because these two parts go together actually. The flowers that die and people die as well, much later, but that you have to consider it, you only have an estimated timespan on this earth and you have to enjoy your time. For Thomas that means, because death is around the corner, that it's okay to sin while being on earth. And obviously the link between that, the devil and Reader saying that Thomas is the death of her

The fire is coming up through the whole fic, like going up in flames, the warmth, the inferno in Readers stomach, ect.

Even tho I wanted to have Thomas a certain way, to get Reader certain places, I always wanted him to be gentle in the small gestures

But still when Thomas gets Reader where he wants to have her, it's also uncomfortable, it hurts a bit and they think maybe it should, because Reader knows what they are doing is a sin, that was Thomas is doing is shameful, but Reader is sosososo aroused by Thomas, and Thomas is still so soft to lure them, Reader would do anything, Reader would believe Thomas anything in that moment. And they both love each other deeply because they otherwise wouldn't do this together

Thomas leaves half moon shaped marks on Reader with his nails -> The half moon symbolises life and death as well

"“Pray.” For the first time you can see the shame in his eyes. Thomas kisses your forehead gently." -> As I said, Thomas despite everything is gentle, he's in love. And in the end, he's ashamed as well, of what he just did. He can't pray it away but Reader might can, that's why as shameful as it is, he has Reader do it. Also there's the saying: "Tell the truth and shame the devil". Reader is being honest, praying because they sinned, and Thomas can only look on feel all the shame in that moment

[vonlipvig]

12, 16, 17, 18, 41

Thank you! Still doing this for my spy guys, let's gooo.

12) How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can't quite reach?

Ok, fun one! It definitely depends on whether they're on the job or just on their day to day lives, y'know? If they're not on an active mission, Grant would have no qualms about asking David to scratch his back or something (and would probably jokingly start moaning in delight to piss David off). David could ask Grant as well, of they're in confidence and he's in the mood. If not, he'd just lean against a wall or something lmao. If they're on a mission, though, they'll just suppress the need. Or if it's truly urgent they'll ask each other and get it done, no jokes this time.

16) What makes their stomachs turn?

Like, metaphorically? Well, in their line of work there's not much they haven't seen or gotten to experience, so in that sense they're pretty hardened. Blood, violence, they're familiar with that, in a way. I guess senseless violence still gets to them, especially towards children and of course, seeing each other get hurt 👀.

Literally? Lmao no idea, will need more time to explore that. As agents, they can handle their liquor pretty well (gotta perfect the art of standing inconspicuously at a bar, or wining and dining a mark!) but I'd say David is a little bit more of a lightweight (he doesn't really get sick though, but he'll get drunk lmao).

17) & 18) Are they easily embarrassed? What embarrasses them?

Lumping these two together. I'd say Grant isn't that easily embarrassed. He's the type of guy who's always down for a round of karaoke, or who has no trouble laughing at his own misfortunes, now turned into funny anecdotes. He's pretty easy-going, so there's not much that would cause him to turn red. In a professional sense, he's the one that tends to take the lead when it comes to field work where they need to talk to people, chat up a mark, get information out of someone without they realizing, so he's pretty used to that kind of pressure, to thinking on the spot and turning potential mishaps into advantages. Still, he's human, and he's never truly as extroverted as he appears to be, so a failed social interaction or a genuine mistake in a relationship can still haunt him for a bit.

David is not quite as easy-going as his partner. He's got a bit of a perfectionist streak, so small mistakes can sour his mood pretty easily, and getting called out by his superiors for some misstep during a mission definitely stings. I don't think he's the type to get sad and mopey, though, he's incredibly quick-tempered, and if anything, that embarrassment turns quickly into anger, sometimes at those calling him out and sometimes at himself. He'll take it as a challenge to push himself further, tho (aaand might break a few rules if he thinks it's warranted). In his day to day life? Definitely gets embarrassed by any dumb thing. Grant catches him doing NYT Connections or Wordle and gets the answers before him, and he'll seethe about it for the whole day, lmao.

41) How do they feel about children?

Aaah, this is such a fun question, because my own thoughts about children always end up bleeding into my characters, which is why almost all of them don't have kids and don't plan to. And yes, ok, these guys don't have kids either, but the idea for them does come from a dream where their proto-characters were mentors to this teenager, so a bit of that has stuck to their final versions...

I think Grant loves kids, and he'd love to be a father one day. Of course, that--and mantaining a relationship--has proven difficult, what with his line of work and all, but the point remains that he's fantastic with children. His little sister has a daughter of her own, and he loves to dote on his young niece as much as he can. He's such a fun uncle, y'know? Kids love him, too, and if there happens to be a child involved in any of the missions, he'll make sure no harm comes to them, keeping them happy and distracted if need be.

David doesn't feel quite at home with kids as Grant does, but he's also someone who kids feel completely safe with. Babies and toddlers, he'll definitely feel a bit unsure around them, not because he doesn't like them but because he's never had any experience with them. But with kids and teens, he's actually really good. He's always kind to them, talks to them like an adult would, and never makes them feel like they're not cared for. Think a Gordon Ramsey type, will cuss out any adults for literally anything, but will be sweet and patient with kids any day.

In the spirit of keeping that concept from my dream alive, I'm still playing with the idea that in one of their missions, they get assigned to take care of this millionaire teen/young adult, and they both definitely get attached to their young charge. So they kinda get to be dads for a bit lmao.

[unfoldingmoments]

Save Me From Myself

Unlit streets and alleys, I don't care I will stroll as if I'm on the Cote d'Azur Muggers, pimps, and bangers everywhere I don't feel the danger though I'm told it's there

Back in my apartment, all alone I feel a chill, who can I phone? Back in my apartment all alone It's only me, I'm not alone

Save me, save me, save me from myself Save me, save me, save me from myself Who is that confronting me? Who is that in front of me? Save me, save me, save me from myself

Foreign objects hurtling through the night Crashing through our atmosphere towards God knows where Viruses and pestilence and blight Biblical in their destruction, should I care?

Back to what should be my comfort zone No comfort there, my cover's blown I would not have come here if I'd known If I had known, if I had known

Save me, save me, save me from myself Save me, save me, save me from myself Who is that confronting me? Who is that in front of me? Save me, save me, save me from myself Ooh ooh ooh, save me, ooh ooh ooh, save me Ooh ooh ooh, save me, ooh ooh ooh, save me Save me, save me, save me from myself Save me, save me, save me from myself

Sewer-living creatures striking fear Tramping this way steadily, they'll soon be here Who tonight's undoing her brassiere Answer, no, it isn't you, that much is clear

Double bolted residence at last Better think fast, better think fast If you're here alone, you'll never last You'll never last, you'll never last

Save me, save me, save me from myself Save me, save me, save me from myself Who is that confronting me? Who is that in front of me? Save me, save me, save me from myself Save me, save me, save me from myself Save me, save me, save me from myself by Franz Ferdinand & Sparks

The song "Save Me from Myself" by FFS (Franz Ferdinand & Sparks) speaks to the sense of isolation and fear that can sometimes emerge in the modern world, even in the midst of bustling streets and the supposed safety of one's own apartment. In the verses, the lyrics refer to walking down unlit streets and experiencing a chill once back inside one's apartment, even when no one else is around. As the song progresses, the language becomes more ominous, referencing "muggers, pimps, and bangers" lurking in the shadows and "sewer-living creatures" approaching steadily. The singer appears to be grasping for someone to save them, both from external threats and from their own sense of isolation.

One of the interesting elements of this song is the way that it leans into linguistic playfulness and a sense of absurdist humor throughout. For instance, the second verse describes "foreign objects hurtling through the night," which could potentially be read as a metaphor for any number of things, but the lyrics take it one step further with the line "Crashing through our atmosphere towards God knows where," which both emphasizes the absurdity of the imagined scenario and also calls attention to the sense of uncertainty and unknowability that can characterize modern existence. Additionally, the repeated refrain of "Save me, save me, save me from myself" calls attention to the ways in which individuals can be their own worst enemies, even as they seek out connection and safety. https://sonichits.com/video/FFS_(Franz_Ferdinand_%26_Sparks)/Save_Me_from_Myself

[fandeadgloves]

The Brier Patch in the Big Empty

Sooo at the end of the episode Cas finds himself in a patch of blackberries, colloquially known as a brier patch. It made me realize that the B plot of this episode is a reference to the most famous Br'er Rabbit story:  Br'er Rabbit and the Tar Baby.

Before any of you yell, Isn’t that story racist!? Keep in mind that the stories and myths come from the oral traditions of Western & Southern Africa and the Cherokee people. The Disney movie Song of the South and the published works of ‘Uncle Remus’ are interpretations of these stories and yeah there are reasons Disney has not released the full movie on DVD in the US. However, these stories and myths predate those works and those stories are worth recognizing and remembering for their impact on American folklore. So lets focus on the content of the folk story and it’s ties to Cas’ narrative and not the socio-political complications of the ‘Uncle Remus’ publication.

In the the best known version of the story Br’er Rabbit is an annoying character that causes nothing but trouble. Much like Cas and the Winchesters do every week (according to the powers that be). The Fox is sick of the Rabbit’s crap and since he can’t catch the Rabbit in a race, he decides to trap him. The Fox builds a sticky tar baby about the same size as the rabbit, puts it in a disguise, and sticks it at the side of the road.

Later, Br’er Rabbit is hopping along and meets the tar baby. He stops to say hello. 

(Above, Tar Baby seen above as a weird dorky little guy in an ugly brown coat). 

(and a pic of the tar baby before he puts on his ugly brown coat, kinda creepy)

The Rabbit gets mad at the inanimate object (much like Dean and lamps) and decides to fight the tar baby. He gets caught up in the black goo (much as Cas is caught in the Empty).

The Rabbit demands the tar baby let him go and is willing to fight till the end but no amount of force will free him.

Once the Rabbit is fully stuck, the Fox isn’t really sure how he wants to kill him. Instead the tricky Rabbit convinces the Fox to throw him in the Brier patch as that it is the worst punishment possible. It’s a lie though. The Brier patch is the Rabbit’s home and he isn’t afraid of the thorns. The Rabbit has escaped death to fight another day! Yay!

Cas doesn’t trick the Empty into thinking resurrecting him to Earth will kill him (that would be a hard sell). However, the Empty already thinks Cas’s life sucks and says as much. And like the Rabbit, Cas does convince the Empty that throwing him back to his shitty-thorny home is the best solution to get rid of him and make him suffer.

It is also worth noting, Cas and the Rabbit get stuck in their impossible situation because of their own mistakes and they escape because of their strengths. The Rabbit is tricky and Cas is the most stubborn thing alive. They are flawed but those flaws can be their strengths. They have power and value and they win in the end by not giving up. :)

So to sum up:

In both stories, an inky black goo disguised in an ugly brown coat has trapped our hero. The villain wants to get rid of the hero permanently. In order to escape, the hero has to convince the villain to throw the hero back to their thorny/painful home. Both our heroes succeed, get tossed into a literal brier patch, and are super happy about it.

So what does the reference to the Tar Baby story mean for the plot of Season 13? 

Well it could just be the surface reading. Cas talking his way out of a place he’s stuck and getting back to his thorny, painful, life. It may seem like it sucks but he loves it.

Since the brier patch is the Rabbit’s home, this could mean Cas has been thrown into heaven (his original home) and not Earth. That would suck because we all know Earth is where he belongs.

It could mean the Empty’s roll in this was driven by a “Fox.” Which implies a second enemy. Billy has certainly stated she is annoyed with the Winchesters like the Fox in the story and she has stated she wants to trap them in the Empty. She’s also coming back next episode.

These oral stories are about trickster animals. When describing tricksters, Bobby mentioned Anansi by name- a spider trickster who shares many of the same stories as Br’er Rabbit. It could be foreshadowing of the return of Gabriel or another trickster.

Cas convinces the Empty that sending him to Earth will bring him peace. However, the Rabbit lives to annoy the Fox another day. One could assume that this isn’t the last time our scrappy team has to outsmart the Empty.

Honestly, could be all of the above. I thought it was neat.

The End. [x]

If I used your gif and you don’t like it, let me know. Tnx. @yourfavoritedirector @novaks 

Illustrated imagery belongs to Disney. Supernatural imagery belongs to Warner Brothers.

[lavernius]

Hello! Could I please request some good "Epsilon being compared to Alpha" feelings or angst? Unrelated but it's very sad to me that at this point Epsilon has been in more seasons than the Church we started with. He's fine and all, but he's not quite the same.

i am not the biggest fan of angst so i'm just gonna give my thoughts on the whole alpha v. epsilon debacle!

to start: i'm not one of those people who gets uppity about the difference between alpha and epsilon. they're both church, they're both parts of church, they're very alike to me, i like them both a lot

to get quick headcanons out of the way: in my modern au, epsilon is the system's (i tend to call it the church system bc i don't think anyone in their system cares enough to name it) memory holder/caretaker, and doesn't front much/at all until alpha (former host) and beta (introject of tex) integrate. epsilon kinda considers himself parts of both alpha and beta.

further on above point: epsilon does think himself more identical to alpha than beta, but far more confident, possibly because of beta.

now i list these two points to remind everyone that church has DID. i do not have such, but i try to do my research (ofc this does not make me 100% credible) and i make this known so i can explain my headcanons properly. keep church's DID in mind, here.

a majority of the same logic applies in canon, but in a different order. alpha reunites with the system, actualizes what he is, and "integrates" in an metaphorical sense of the word (getting EMPed with the rest of the ais, i guess), epsilon emerges, gets beta to integrate, is at peace with himself, finally, finally after all these years.

epsilon and alpha are essentially the same, if not just very very similar. the difference between alpha and epsilon is church's spike in confidence. epsilon is a little conceited, definitely moreso than alpha was. everyone seems to see this as epsilon being annoying? i think he's healing.

alpha wasn't as conceited because he was still suffering the side effects of the trauma he endured, c-ptsd that resulted in him believing he didn't have much purpose aside from work (which shows in his unnecessary dedication to leading the blues in blood gulch)

he was manipulated into believing that everything that went wrong (including the death of loved ones) was HIS fault, so he's not really full of himself because even without his memories (epsilon) he feels like somewhere deep down inside he's always the reason shit goes wrong.

epsilon is... past that, and new to a world where things don't have to be his fault just because of his involvement. he's excited about it, he takes pride in his small victories.

people (the aliens) like him, and he can actually accept that now instead of thinking they'll ditch him or hurt him? holy shit, that's new, he wants to celebrate that.

carolina comes and he realizes he can help someone get revenge on the guy who traumatized him? what the fuck, of course he's gonna go and help her, the director hurt carolina and him directly and tucker can be mad all he wants, epsilon thinks he deserves this.

carolina intercepts a potentially dangerous transmission and wants to help people? fuck yeah! epsilon isn't afraid of this anymore, he wants to try to help without fearing failure! beta's gone now, he doesn't feel doomed to fail anymore, he wants to ride this high.

epsilon still dissociates, and he does it far more than alpha ever did. he's obviously not perfect, and scenes like him failing to help carolina in the sharkface fight prove he knows he isn't, and still gets torn over it. he's getting better, but healing is a process, and for church it might be an especially long one.

i'll cut it short here because i could go on, but basically i have so many thoughts about epsilon, and how he's just a somewhat healthier, more ascertained splinter of alpha. i get the conceit can be annoying, but in my eyes it's the sign of someone recovering slowly from their trauma and owning it. all in all, i think the treatment epsilon gets compared to alpha is unfair; understandable but unfair. i love both of them, i'm proud of church, i want them both to be happy.

[funknrolll]

Celebrating Prince: discovering a timeless artist and his meaningful and impactful art. Part 4. The Truth, The Vault.. Old Friends 4 Sale and Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic eras.

Hi music lovers, as I anticipated on monday, music addiction is going to celebrate Prince and his amazing and timeless work!! The article will be split into a few little articles. I hope you enjoy this new format and these articles!!

As I said yesterday, let me say that I have heard so many things about Prince’s artistry. Some comments came from uneducated people who did not even take a second of their lives to understand, and do research on his art. Hence, I think the time to shed some light on Prince’s art, has come (finally). I hope to help some of those people understand this artist better and to finally appreciate him the way he deserves. We owe Prince big time. Today’s music and musicians  owe Prince everything. Without him, many of the artists we listen to today, WOULD NOT BE EXISTING. As we all know, Prince loved to experiment with music, trying out new music genres, new styles, new harmonies, melodies, rhythms and so on. This is one of the factors that led this legend to create a unique, wide and broad vault. There are so many songs of his that I love so much and that I find relevant for this article. The ones I chose, are going to prove that Prince and his music did not just revolve around sex and sexuality, (even if the artist through his music took the topic to another whole level). Through the article, we will see that Prince was more than all that I mentioned above. He was an extraordinary human being, blessed with so many enormous talents, with a beautiful mind, a uniquely pure soul. A true gift of God. With this in mind, let us start this article.

The other three part of the article are already out on this blog, so check them out if you’d like✨

In 1998 Prince released 2 albums: Crystal ball and the Truth. The most relevant is, however, the Truth which was conceived as an acoustic album even though it contains some electronic sounds such as distortions, electronic instruments, sounds effects. Despite that, Prince focused on giving the album an acoustic sound. With these new, the almost minimalistic acoustic sounds emotional lyrics addressing political issues, animal exploitation, and the loss of a loved one, the artist unravels his most private and delicate side. Some of the songs I loved the most are The Truth, The Animal Kingdom, and Comeback. The 21 century was going to be the era of fake news and as I mentioned the artist was also predicting the era of fake news. Related to this topic these lies express how fake news can create an increase in people’s fear of death. Indeed, looking at the lyrics: 

What if half the things ever said

 Turned out 2 be a lie

 How will U know the Truth? 

From the beginning of the song, he is educating the listener about the lies we are told daily and the fake news we hear daily. 

What If time's only reason?

 Was to give us all somethin' 2 fear?

 And if so y'all, the end of the journey's so clear 

These lines address the issue of how the lies create the fear of death. 

If there was just one day

 That everybody tell the truth

 We'd all trade bank accounts & move to back to Neptune 

The song closes with the artist envisioning a world without fake news and with no lies. What I find extremely relevant is the contrast between Prince’s performance and the sound of the guitar which is even more remarked while Prince chose to perform most of the song in a light head voice. What I also find remarkable is the use of electronic sounds such as the ticking of the clock right before singing the line” What if time is the only reason”

Another song that I particularly love is The Animal Kingdom. Prince addressed the issue of animal cruelty. He also gives the listener clues about him being vegan. As the lyrics are quite straightforward, there is no need for a further explanation, however, what makes the song unique is its instrumental as this album is characterized by an acoustic sound. Indeed, the artist used a wide dose of electronic sounds and he distorted his voice as well. I also noticed an exceedingly clever use of sounds effects such as animal sounds. 

The third song I mentioned is the Comeback which is extremely personal, deep, and emotional. It gets straight to the heart. This song is about losing someone dear and as in 1996 Prince lost his first and only child, I would assume that this song was how the artist was dealing with this heartbreak unfortunate event he experienced. He then crafted a sophisticated but yet simple instrumental entirely played with an acoustic guitar to which he added some of the most BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING lyrics to ever be written. Personally, as I have just lost my grandfather and my grandmother as well, I feel this song extremely close to my heart, Prince with these words and his beautiful performance had been able to touch my heart in such a way that only true artist with an ENORMOUS sensitivity could do. Moreover, taking a look at the lyrics:

Walking up the stairs

 Just the afternoon

 Sweet wind blew

 Not a moment 2 soon

 (Hoo) I cry when I realized

 That sweet wind was USpirits come and spirits go

 Some stick around 4 the aftershow

 Don't have 2 say I miss U (don't have 2 say I miss U)

 Cause I think U already know

 If U ever lose someone

 Dear 2 U

 Never say the words they’re gone

 They'll come back, yeah

 They'll come back, yeah yeah

 They'll come back

 Tears go here

 Tears go here

 Tears go here

 Tears go here 

The song lasts only 1 minute and 59 seconds, and it consists of a few lines. However, with these few yet powerful words, the artist has been able to communicate one of the worst experiences he could possibly go through. What left me so mesmerized about this gem is how Prince could tell and perform this heartbreaking story with such a beautiful and unarming gentleness that only he could do. Moreover, the Artist opted for an acoustic album to craft this masterpiece, which is in perfect harmony with the main theme of this song. 

In 1999 the Artist released his last album with Warner Bros, The Vault. This work features unreleased materials. In my opinion, there are 2 relevant songs on this album which are There is Lonely and Old Friends 4 Sale. 

The blues ballad There is Lonely is characterized by some straightforward used to express Prince’s pain caused by a deep sense of loneliness. 

Is it me or did the room just get darker? 

 Is it me or did I just lay down and die? 

 Is this a dream or did the world just crumble at my very feet? 

 How in heaven will I ever be alright? here is lonely and there is lonely 

 And then there is how I feel right now 

 Perhaps only Cain when he'd slain his brother 

 Could ever come close to knowing how...yeahThere is lonely and there is lonely 

 And then there is how I feel right now 

 Perhaps only Cain when he'd slain his brother 

 Could ever come close to knowing how there is lonely and there is lonely 

 And then there is how I feel right now 

The short yet impressive and effective lyric is a poignant rant where the Artist with some heartbreaking metaphors conveyed to the listener what he was feeling. Additionally, as we can see from the lyrics, Prince is comparing loneliness to darkness and to death which is complementary. Moreover, loneliness is also compared to the world crumbling at the artist’s feet. The artist depicted the feeling of loneliness as something so overwhelming that he was not sure he would have ever been all right again. The heartbreak led the Artist to feel like nobody could ever understand how he felt. Additionally, Prince used another relevant metaphor which involves Cain and Abel, the two biblical from the book of genesis. As I mentioned, the music genre opted is blues and suites perfectly the general topic of this masterpiece, enhancing the sorrow and the pain the artist felt. Prince’s performance is another poignant yet interesting characteristic. The artist sang these words with a beautiful soft voice he was almost whispering, perhaps he opted for this beautiful and sophisticated performance because sometimes if we want to be heard we must learn to whisper. This, indeed, makes this masterpiece even more effective because we can really feel the sorrow and the exhaustion the artist was feeling. 

The second song I mentioned is Old Friends 4 Sale. This might look like a sad love-story but it is not. It is indeed a song about betrayal and being backstabbed by someone the artist trusted. Indeed, this masterpiece was written out of rage. The song is about Jimmi Jam and Terry Lewis respectively the Time’s keyboardist and bassist. According to the book, Prince and the Purple Rain Era Studio Sessions 1983 and 1984, by Duane Tudahl, recounts the fateful day of March 24, 1983. The Time was due on stage in San Antonio that evening to open for Prince. Jam and Lewis were in Atlanta, producing sessions for the SOS Band. “We get to the airport, and it starts snowing”, said Jam in an interview recalling the half-inch that shut down the airport. They missed the gig and were later fired from the band. But unlike the dozens of talented musicians that would come and go from Prince’s orbit in the years ahead, Jam and Lewis were different – they were like family. Moreover, Prince already warned the Time not to produce music with other bands, to prevent his friends from giving away the signature sound that made them so special. Despite Prince’s warning them, Jimmy and Terry did not listen. However, Prince was not the one who decided to fire Jam and Lewis. Indeed as Prince said in a 1990 follow-up Rolling Stone interview with Karlen, "I'm playing the bad guy," says Prince, "but I didn't fire Jimmy and Terry. Morris asked me what I would do in his situation. You got to remember, it was his band." Besides all of that, what I find impressive is the orchestral arrangement of this song. Prince opted for another blues song which suits extremely well the general meaning of this masterpiece. Moreover, the beautiful, sophisticated, complex arrangement of the song was crafted by Clare Fischer. The song presents an exceedingly wide variety of musical instruments and a mesmerizingly broad spectrum of harmonies. 

The following album is Rave In2 the Joy Fantastic released in 1999. Among the songs that I prefer in this masterpiece, there are Eye Love You but I don’t trust you anymore, Man ‘O’ War and Whatever U go Whatever U do. With this album, the Artist is letting the listener catch a glimpse of how and why his relationship with his former wife Mayte Garcia, was ending. Moreover, Prince was in constant evolution artistically and musically and this album is the proof of it. Indeed, the sounds of this album are extremely different from the previous ones he released. Eye Love You But I Don’t Trust You Anymore is one of the most intimate, personal and heartbreaking songs the artist had ever written. The simple and neat arrangement was crafted for voice, piano, and guitar. The lyrics of this masterpiece are also quite straight-forward.

I could tell from the moment you walked in the room

That it wasn't your dress you had on, that wasn't your perfume

And what happened to the ring that I gave you?

What am I to assume? I love u, but I just don't trust u anymore You could tell f

rom the moment you looked in my eyes

That I could see right through you, you must apologize

I've always given you the best in life

Even in the wrong, it was right

I know you trust me, but you don't love me anymore, I remember meeting you here in the good old days

I would never pick the flower of my favorite protege

 Maybe if I would have

Then you would not treat me this way

You tricked me but you will not anymore, no, I love u, but I don't trust u anymore 

According to what these lines are inferring, the artist was cheated on by his partner which led to a widespread belief that the person he was singing about was his former wife Mayte Garcia. Indeed, Prince says he did not recognize his wife and her perfume and that she took off the ring he gave her. Moreover, in the last verses, Prince is claiming to be the one who was cheated on as he sings “ I would never pick the flower of my favorite protege/ Maybe if I would have/ Then you would not treat me this way/ You tricked me but you will not anymore”.  As I said, the song seems to suggest that Prince was cheated on, and being wronged by an unfaithful spouse was fairly new territory for the artist’s lyrical repertoire. Moreover, as regards the arrangement, it is extremely simple and intimate as it is made of a piano and an acoustic guitar, courtesy of the indie rock artist Ani DiFranco. Moreover, this is one of the most nakedly emotional songs by the musical genius. This emotivity is so hearable in Prince’s voice and it is indeed super clear that he was hurt and wounded. As regards the lyrics the message Prince is delivering is extremely powerful and the pain and sense of betrayal are totally feelable. However, these lyrics were performed in such a gentle and delicate way which made the message delivered even more poignant. Moreover, Prince might have opted for spare but yet sophisticated lyrics so the beautiful vocals and the lyrics could be brought to the forefront and hence the listener could put all his attention to them. This is in my opinion on of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching songs that the artist has ever done. Furthermore, the second song I mentioned is Man ‘O’ War. Allegedly, this is another song where the Artist expressed his anger and pain for what he endured when his relationship was dissolving. Indeed, as in Eye Love You But I Don't Trust You Anymore, the lyrics are extremely clear. In fact, from this song, the listener can expect to hear the story of a man who was tired of being in an unpeaceful relationship. From the lyrics, it becomes evident how hurt Prince was to the point that he felt like he was robbed of his dignity. On the other hand, he wanted to have the peace of mind and how he wanted to be loved and wanted again. However, this could not happen with the person he was talking about because as the Artist said “ But lovin' you, lovin' you, lovin' you is a waste of time”, therefore with the” 7-page letter” the artist mentions (perhaps hinting to the divorce papers), the marriage between the couple was just meant to dissolve. As regards the arrangements, Prince chose a slow and extremely intense r&b song that suits the lyrics perfectly. Furthermore, on a more positive note, the third song I mentioned is Wherever U go, Whatever you do. Through some forthright lyrics, the artist delivers an extremely uplifting and motivating message. With these words inspiring words the artist, encouraging each of us to be positive and smile and to pursue our dreams and always try our best no matter what. Another lesson we can learn from Prince is to learn from every situation, good or bad, and that even if we fail sometimes, it is ok as long as we tried our best. This is one of the most heartwarming, most powerful, and biggest lessons that Prince has taught us and that he had lived his entire life up to. As regards the performance, the Artist uses such a beautiful, gentle, and delicate head voice and I honestly can feel all the love and the positivity he was putting into this masterpiece. I think also that the lyrics are so BEAUTIFUL that, I need to report them here. 

Wherever U Go, Whatever U do

 Oh please, remember that I'll always be there 4 U

 U don't have 2 call, U don't have 2 say

 Just think about me and I'll be on my way

 I don't have 2 worry, I'm sure U'll be fine

 Cuz if U stay happy, then what's yours is mine

 Wherever U Go, Whatever U do

 Remember that I'll always be there 4 U

 (Oh Baby)

 Wherever U R, think of your dreams

 Oh please, remember life ain't always what it seems

 4 each rainy day (rainy day)

 That comes your way

 The sun will come shining and U'll be okay

 Keep on smiling - every girl and boy

 Remember when U were children U had toys

 Wherever U R, think of your dreams

 Remember that dreams become the life U lead

 Whatever U play, it's okay 2 lose

 Ooh sometimes (sometimes...)

 As long as U learn from every game U choose

 If one thing is sure, U'll always endure

 If U try your best at everything U do

 Say what U mean and mean what U say

 The price 4 a broken heart - it's 2 much 2 pay

 And nothing is worth it if U don't have 2 try

 The higher the stakes - the higher the sky

 Wherever U Go, whatever U do

 Please remember

 Remember that I'll always be there 4 U 

If you guys would like to purchase your copy of the albums I wrote about in this article (which I recommend, PLEASE DO NOT BOOTLEG PRINCE’S MUSIC), I’ll post the links below✨

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4RBKVX/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=83159c110419ccae1e65f81e748becc1&creativeASIN=B07G4RBKVX

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002C7C25K/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=ef3f50f598a5d101ef449e332467257c&creativeASIN=B002C7C25K

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NHR5XWZ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=e1e74ca6b12fa9f07c1d18d6086f8377&creativeASIN=B07NHR5XWZ

This was the 4th part of a series of articles dedicated to Prince to celebrate his life and most importantly his art. Stay tuned for more. If you have missed the first part feel free to check it out✨ In the meantime stay home, stay safe and healthy. Peace and Love 4 one another. thank you so much for your attention 💜 G  💜

[lost-diary-of-a-hurt-soul]

I feel like everything in my life is breaking and while I mean that very literally, the hot water line burst off causing flooding and mold, the ac in my car went out, the ac in my house started acting up, etc...

I also mean that metaphorically speaking.. My grandparents started dying year after year.. My granny died in 2019. My great-grandma Hann died in 2020. My Grandpa Spidel in 2021.

Death use to not affect me so much.. I have a very large family and growing up, I went to a lot of funerals. I actually started to became desensitized to them. Or at least that's what I thought was happening? I don't know... But then my Uncle killed himself on April Fools Day in 2010...

I could honestly probably count on 1 maybe 2 hands how many times I had gotten to see him before he died. But his death honestly fucking broke my heart in unimaginable ways.. Every year on the anniversary of his death I get uncontrollably angry and sad and I take it out on anyone around me. And if no one is around? I take it out on myself.. I don't do it purposely it just always happens so I started trying to isolate myself on that day to save others from a dark side of myself.

The apocalypse of grandparents began in 2019. My granny died and I completely lost connection to almost everyone on her side of the family. She was the one who invited us to everything and when she died, I lost a lot of family members from my life and it really fucking hurt. I tried reaching out but I felt like I was on the monkey bars reaching for the next bar that just kept getting further and further away until I fell off. They were my foundation of family is family and you fight for them with everything you have. And when she died? I felt like I was the only one fighting to be involved in a family that no longer wanted me unless they found a reason to use me..

& yanno thinking of that... That happened with my uncles family as well... When he died so did my connection with everyone from his side of the family...

I use to go to my great-grandma's house every single Sunday of my life (other than summers when I was in Texas). We had big family gatherings and had dinner and played games with my cousins. She was my favorite person. She was the nicest, most patient, big hearted person that I've ever known. When she died and her house was sold I was terrified of losing family again. I couldn't handle more loss because losing family like that feels like going through a hundred deaths with no funeral and no closure. So I offered my home up to my Sunday family for holidays and birthday celebrations. It's a pain in my ass some days but I can't imagine it any other way. If we didn't have those dinners anymore, those connections would break and I'd be left with even less people in my life.

My grandpa spidel just died and my connections with my family in Texas were already treading on thin ice. I haven't visited Texas in a couple years and my last visit was full of hard feelings. I had my aunts and uncles blocked until grandpa got sick and I needed updates. Now that he's gone, I feel like I'm desperately clinging onto the family I have left even if it hurts me more than helps..

I can't handle the thought of going from a family so big that I learned about new family members every year to a family I can count on 1 or 2 hands.. I can't handle the thought of having kids one day and telling them they have a family so freaking big and then telling them they'll never know more than a handful of them...

Death became bigger than one person. It became entire sides of my family, lost. It became bullet holes in my heart. And instead of the bullets going out the other end, they're just sitting in my heart with all the weight that comes with it. My puzzle of life is missing big pieces. It's missing pieces that use to make up the whole picture and it's like I keep losing parts of myself with them..

[ryanbydefault]

Vacuity (a small script)

the girl: haha you think about these things. I know you do. These things that seem far, far beyond your reach. These things right in front of you. I imagine that the further that I can get them, the more you'll think about them, be ripped apart. I'm very entertained by the idea of suffering, in relation to you because I view you as a suffering thing, a thing that should suffer. I can't say that there is any particular reason besides that I feel that way and it is my right to feel that way until I don't, with those times being very lucky times for you, my "compassionate" moments. It took me quite a journey and some time to decide this. I've learned so much and seen so much and among them, you the most minuscule. I'm not sure if anyone felt this way before I did, before I was born. No one knows, that's the funniest part, because then they'll see that I'm not quite what they thought I was. I imagine the world to be a moral and compassionate world and if they were to see that, then I might be alone, which I don't imagine, in my lifetime I ever will be, but if they find out it will be the absolute end of you, considering that I just must go "off of the deep end" then, and be completely dedicated to my own darkness. I would hope to take the world with me, then, because if not I imagine that I'd be alone, which, again, in my lifetime, with who I am and everything, I never will be.

the boy: I've never been concerned with being alone. I've always been more afraid of becoming bored or possessed with the wrong thing. I was born alone, with my father, who told me once that it's better to be alone than to be a tramp in in the local national rag, you know. Someone who wasn't taught manners, good personal manners. I've also never been concerned with darkness. I remember all the prayers from my parochial school better than I remember my own name, with all of who I am and everything, in regards to a name. I'd probably never say that "with all of who I am and everything". It seems more necessary to say than snooty.

the girl: I'm getting sick.

the boy: a very cunning response. I understand what it takes to maintain ones own very, very personal perceptions of the world otherwise, in your case, more so defined, officially as delusions, necessary delusions, and the desperate world who seemingly needs to believe in anything or a world too hell bent on relativity. You see, that's a great thing when it creates empathy, relativity. It's what waters the best, good things in the world. Then, there is the massive delusion fed by need. You see, you, what you have told me is that you need something. You need something like a sedative, a voodoo doll and a boyfriend. You're very easily crushable because the thing that you fear is aloneness which is one of the easiest things to create in the entire world. The world, as you said, being "hopefully as sadistic as it is compassionate". It's not like a flower. There will never not be water and sun. You get it. They come back in the same places every year, the deciduous daisies and dandelions. What they need is naturally available because the world is deserved of nurturing, it's the job of a thing that makes something to maintain it, in one way or another. The things that you don't know about, like how large the universe is and how absolutely small your are in your stature, metaphorically, in your needs, in your emptiness, in your opinions.

the girl: I don't know what you're talking about!

the boy: you're dead, in one way or another, and you're not much to look on, you have the kind of face that needs money, you know, because money creates codependency or fame and lots of bottom feeders / opportunists, which the world will never be empty of, you're a succubus, you need for someone in the world to actually love you, which I don't, I can say, and I say this because your fixation on me had to come from some idea that I need you to look on as much as you need to look on to me, but you need to have someone weaker to love you, which I guess you assumed was me, someone you can look on and look down on, again, I am not your candidate, I walk with closed eyes and take in everything, these weaker people, not that they REALLY exist outside of something created to keep you "sane", this is to balance off all of the bottom feeding , those moments when you look in on a deaf heart and an open hand and you just very much want to kill yourself because you've realized that no one really loves you and no one ever truly will because they're all like you. you've created that, one small suicide cult, built up on the back of a huge delusion, that anyone gives a fuck. You're mommy's too busy, you're daddy's not there, your parents hate you deep down somewhere because they know exactly what you are and they actually love one another. They actually still love each other. You are, somewhere deep down, the enemy. Everyone real wants real love, in one way or another, that's why, that's how you got here no matter how much that sucks. You'll never see me again in your entire life , at least not because that's what I've ever wanted, and if God here's me, but I thought you should know that your a shit person and that doesn't go well with a face like that, if you wanted to know how I felt.

the girl: but, I thought... Yeah right! Do you know who I am?

the boy: I truthfully don't care. I can say that I tried, you know, at some point, to look through my heart eyes and for no reason at all, maybe it was a rebound. I'd lost my girlfriend right before that. I was a bit heartbroken. Okay, I was completely crushed but, the point is I don't care who you are and there is no mistaking who I am. It's all really just DIE. You're the kind of person who has ghost written poetry because there's nothing there, really. Bye-Bye.

the girl: look I want someone else! Slit your wrists!

the boy: I've only seen you once.

the girl: I want someone else, you hear me! Slit your wrists.

the boy: I don't understand what that has ever had to do with me.

the girl: me? seriously, me?

the boy: it seems your tone and demeanor have changed quite a bit hahahahahhahha upset?

the girl: seriously, come on, that?

the boy: what?

the girl: that?

the boy: I think it's best that you seek help

the girl: you can't be serious!

the boy: think about everything that I've said and what you know and ask yourself if any of it makes sense? besides I've never attempted suicide over a woman.