#i don't think i'm containing a derisive smile though...

[fitgothgirl]

Was just out doordashing (and FINALLY got some luck with orders so it wasn't a total waste of time, which had happened the last few times) and as I was approaching a house for a moment I thought I was delivering to a house with a Cybertruck lol; luckily it ended up being the address next door.

This is somewhere in the range of the 15th-20th one I've seen irl probably. #justsiliconvalleythings. 🙃

[super-ion]

Lisa's Story

Backstory for my ttrpg character in Outside Us Nothing

Part 1

Part 2

Lisa settled disconsolately in the service junction that served as her room. The space that had once seemed so cavernous could barely contain her any more. She gathered up her tentacles and closed so of her eyes except for the few she pressed close to her viewport.

It was unambiguously her viewport. The only way Jo was taking this one from her was over her dead body.

She focused on the tiny twinkling lights that drifted among the stars, each one another starship, tiny little worlds like her own home.

The problem was her home felt smaller and smaller every day.

She watched the pattern of life, picking out the local haulers, the fast couriers, the corporate and freehold security patrols. All of them were headed somewhere, either to one of the ice giants in the outer edges of the system or the local freehold or one of the five kerama points somewhere out in the black.

She didn't turn or open any of her eyes as the access hatch swung outward. Even if she didn't instantly recognize her mother's scent, she was the only person who would interrupt Lisa's alone time.

The terre woman settled in next to the viewport and wrapped one of Lisa's tentacles around her, squeezing it tight with her arms.

She didn't speak, just watched the ships with Lisa.

It didn't take long before Lisa couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"Mom, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I mean... Is Jo okay?"

Harper sighed and gave a tiny smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes.

"Jo's fine. No permanent damage. They're more surprised than anything. Must have been some fight though. You wanna talk about it, kiddo?"

"No," Lisa replied sullenly. Then a moment later, she added, "okay yes. Jo's been growing into forward observation. I went to get some star sightings and all of the best view spots were just totally covered and they told me they needed full field of view or something and I should go take sightings elsewhere and... well... I got upset."

"You know Jo takes their job very seriously," her mother said gently. "A pilot does need to be able to see where they're going."

Lisa didn't respond, she just tried to hunch up even more, wishing she could just shrink the mass of herself down into something smaller.

"And I would probably be remiss in my motherly duties if I didn't point out that you technically started the fight. I admit, I'm a little shocked. You're usually the gentle one."

"I thought Gwen was the gentle one," Lisa replied, instantly regretting bringing up her sibling's name when her mother flinched.

"Gwen is... fragile is the word I think I'd use," Harper replied eventually. "They never could stand up to Jo the way you can."

Harper gave the tentacle another squeeze.

"You know Jo's worried about you, don't you?" her mother said. "We both are, even if they won't admit it."

Lisa finally tore her gaze away from the viewport to stare incredulously.

"What does Jo have to be worried about?"

"If you'll permit your mother to answer a question with another question... Why haven't you started rooting yet? I'm no expert, but a Teuth your age, your size?"

Lisa shifted uncomfortably. Her mother claimed not to be an expert but she had made it her life's mission to learn as much about the Teuth as possible for the sake of her adopted children.

"I... I don't know, I... uh... I guess I feel like I'm not quite ready."

"Wrong time or wrong place?" Harper prodded.

Lisa was grudgingly reminded once again that nobody knew her quite like her mother, as if Jo hadn't teased her constantly for being mommy's girl.

"Oh, my sweet little Lisa," her mother said. "You were born with the stars in your eyes. All three of you were in your own way. You love being out here in the black, but you never loved this ship the way Jo does."

Lisa made a derisive snort, earning a playful swat from her mother.

"You know what I mean," her mother scoffed.

Lisa did, in fact know that her mother was talking about Briar Rose the starship and not the social liaison heuristic that had taken up residence in the ship's mainframe when it joined the crew a few decaperiods prior. Jo had become deeply infatuated with it, earning Lisa's endless teasing.

"My point is you love the people," her mother continued. "We have a good crew here now, but it's not the crew you grew up with. I know it's not the same without Srviin or Zuberi."

"Or Gwen?" Lisa asked softly.

"Or Gwen," her mother added with a tiny quaver in her voice.

Harper sighed and reached into her pocket to produce a bar of chocolate. Lisa made a tiny gasp and started to reach for it greedily, but paused.

"What's that for?" Lisa asked suspiciously. "It's not my birthday."

"No, it's not," her mother said with a slightly sad smile. "It's just... well, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you and Jo about... I've been thinking about leaving too."

"What!? No! You-"

"Hey, shhh," she interrupted. "It's not like I'm going away forever. One of Xatlaasa's clutch mates is a traffic controller on a freeport and has a job offer that I'm considering."

Lisa pondered this.

"This is about Gwen, isn't it?"

Harper nodded slightly defensively.

"That's part of it," she admitted. "It's been almost a decaperiod, and there's only so much I can do from a freetraveler ship. If I take the job, I'll have access to a lot more resources to widen the search."

Lisa didn't want to tell her mother that maybe Gwen didn't want to be found. Her mother always did have certain blind spots with respect to her children.

"You said that was part of it?" Lisa asked instead.

Harper unwrapped the chocolate and broke it in half. She didn't respond until Lisa had taken hers.

"Well..." Harper said, "the truth is you and Jo don't need me looking after you all the time. I guess I'm feeling my age catching up with me and I'm ready to try settling down."

Lisa didn't respond. How could she? The foundation of her universe had just been upended.

"Lisa, my stargazer," her mother crooned. "You want to go out and make your own way, make your own family, but you're afraid of change. Consider this your permission to go."

Lisa pulled her mother close and the two of them watched the twinkling points of the distant starships together.

~~~

Bonus: Lisa art that I threw together a little while ago

[dark-nat-ones-blessing]

22, 31, 34, 41 and 61 for the ttrpg character asks! I want to know everything about julian :D

Well, buckle in! EVERYTHING ABOUT JULIAN, coming right up!

(still taking asks for my botany boy, pepper, and nuth!)

22. how would they decorate their living space, if they had a chance?

Julian is truly a case of The Autistic Urge To Be Organised fighting with the ADHD Urge To Accumulate *Stuff* - I've always imagined his chamber back at Silversage to have that kind of...Pleasantly Cluttered look about it.

Of course he's got quite a lot of books - he can never decide on the organisational system he wants to use for them, but does group shelves by subject matter (folklore/faerietales/fiction vs encyclopaedias/nonfiction vs academic/magical) and has a whole array of potted plants, it's hard to find a surface that doesn't have at least one. In terms of preferred colours for upholstery, Julian gravitates to rich mahogany browns, dark leather, cream, gold/yellow/bronze tones, and of course warm greens as an accent.

I'm sort of imagining gold-on-mauve for the wallpaper, though. Something like this?

The big bay window has hanging baskets in with trailing plants, and has those curtain-pulls with the fancy tassels. And a writing-desk is of course a must, ever an 'organised chaos' of loose parchments kept together with clips and whimsical paperweights in the shape of Very Round versions of magical beasts.

I imagine his dormitory at the Nugins Arcane Academy has similar aspects about it, but I'm not sure what novice quarters are like and whether they're shared spaces, so I'd need to chat to the DM about that because how it'd look would depend heavily on if it was shared or solo. (The potted plants are there, though. Where Julian goes, foliage follows.)

The rest under a cut because, as always: This Gets Long.

31. do they respond well to praise? how about criticism?

Julian is a golden retriever of a man, insofar as he is a people-pleaser who loves to hear he's done well. However, he tends to deflect praise a little, he gets bashful. Like, you can tell he's happy, because he's smiling ear to ear, but he's also insisting it was the least he could do, really and (if he was not alone in doing the thing he was praised for) redirecting the spotlight eagerly to someone else who truly does deserve to be commended, I mean, they did an absolutely splendid job.

As for criticism, this varies strongly by who delivers it and what it's about. By default he accepts criticism gracefully, usually apologetically - and then ruminates on it for far too long after the fact, analysing his error and chastising himself for his thoughtlessness. If he truly feels the criticism was unearned, he usually stammers out some attempt at correction, but his protests tend to be quite timid.

Criticism from someone Julian actively does not like brings out his snippy side, though! There's usually a pause, a sigh as he tries to contain his patience, then (in tones either Carefully Measured or in Exasperated Retort) something starting with an emphatic, "Listen-" or, "Well. I'll have you know that-".

The old party Fighter was frequently derisive of Julian's verbosity, inefficiency, lack of ambition, and general lack of the skills he personally associated with the word 'wizard' - say, the ability to cast Mage Hand. This ruffled Julian's feathers terribly and really got under his skin, and I don't think he's so far ever spoken to anyone else quite as sharply as he did when Himo suggested he was short-sighted for not having an interest in farming Maximilian.

“Well, before I could even do such a thing, Himo, firstly I would have to discern how to replicate him. And after that, divine what can be learned from him about magibotanical beings as a whole. You’re being so…” he sighs, exasperated, “just so simplistic.”

41. how do you keep notes for this character, if at all?

I don't have in-character notes specifically for Julian (which is shocking, I know) but I do record our sessions and also have a veritable fucking tome of a campaign chronicle that functions as Julian notes, I suppose! It just also happens to function as a complete narrative recap of everything that's happened. (I keep considering sharing it in instalments on here but it really is So Fucking Long that I doubt anyone would want to read it!)

Our DM got me - well, got Julian a gorgeous personalised leatherbound book for my birthday a few years back. I have often considered using it for jotting down IC notes-to-self, his observations of Maximilian's growth, etc, but I've had terrible New Book Paralysis about it. Here's what it looks like, though. :3

61. is there an in-game moment of theirs you think about and just laugh?

Oh, it's got to be the ridiculous Kolton's Dagger Accidental Innuendo Spiral, I think. Let me explain. It's a long one but it has me grinning whenever I remember it.

Okay, so, as we know, Julian is very easily embarrassed, and once thrown off-kilter in an interaction he struggles terribly to recover his footing.

(As a small example of this: Our Fighter insisted on calling the elven Mayor of Hare Ear Fjord "Cadence" instead of his name (Caidith). To Julian's mortification he then did the same, completely unintentionally. Then, panicking, fumbled his hasty correction into "Caileth" (which would be like someone calling him "Juliet"), and then, by now visibly pink in the face, finally arrived at Caidith's name. This happened twice. (The second time he was quicker to catch himself, so it was more of a "Caden- Cail- *gathers his breath* Caidith. So sorry. Terribly sorry.")

SO WITH THAT FOR CONTEXT.)

So, our newest party member, Kolton, had a dagger that seemed very familiar to the rest of us but none of us could put our finger on why. (Every single INT check was garbage, but it previously belonged to the aforementioned Fighter.) Heather went to ask Julian about it, to see if he had any insight, and when he didn't Julian pondered if Kolton might permit him to Identify it if he asked.

To this, Heather waggles her eyebrows and goes, "Y'gonna ask t' see Kolton's dagger, are you? Steady on, Julian! You've only known him a few hours!" and from here everything spiraled out of control.

So Julian, pink to the tips of his ears, bats her arm with the back of his hand, and to spare his embarrassment declares that on that note he's going to go and check on Maximilian, and Heather - who has seen her chance for mischief because it's way too easy - calls after him, "That what y'call it these days?" She then decides to summon Kolton on his behalf by hollering, at the top of her voice, "EY KOLTON, JULIAN WANTS T'SEE YER DAGGER ;)"

Naturally, this does not set Julian up well. Kolton, to his credit, graciously does not acknowledge any double entendre on Heather's part. A true gentleman. However Julian has been pre-flustered and has succumbed entirely to his chronic case of Foot In Mouth Disease. On receipt of the dagger, he chirps (far too chirpily) that he'll be 'in his corner' and will 'be back in ten minutes' - at this, Heather guffaws.

Ten minutes later he comes back none the wiser to the dagger's origins but educated on its enchantment - it's a Dagger of Returning! :D And perhaps Julian might have recovered at this point, but no. As he explains to Kolton, he decides to explain the attuning process thus:

"You'll have to spend a little time with it first - things like this require you to, ah, 'get to know' the weapon in question."

(And Heather, in her hammock across the way, audibly snorts. He colours.)

"I am so sorry, my phrasing is just atrocious today. That's the long and the short of it, anyway- HEATHER." (At this point she is fully shuddering with a full on fit of the giggles.) "It's a very nice dagger that you have here, that's all I'm trying to say!"

Now, technically that's the end of the Kolton's Dagger Spiral, but it immediately flows into the other Heather-Julian interaction that has me hooting whenever I relisten to it:

At this point Julian flees the conversation abruptly and tries to decompress/compose himself by noodling with his Sending spell. Tucked away in his corner of the crew quarters, Julian finally cracks the code on the last few theorems of it all, and, now that he can, gives his sister a call to finally let her know that he's okay and not to worry. Olivia is aghast to hear he's in a whole other country - CORRAN?! Mother and Father have been putting up missing posters, Julian! They're going to be furious.

Being timeblind as hell and also unconsciously procrastinating on going home (because that would mean ultimately returning to the Academy halls), Julian had not really processed that to his family, he had....simply not come back from his most recent expedition, and was now over a week late. So that hits him, and he immediately flies to Heather's side, grabs her arm, and whispers, with grave urgency,

"Heather, I am in so much trouble."

What Heather has witnessed, for her part, is her good pal Julian get real fuckin' flustered around that big lad with the sword and the shaved sides, then run off to his corner, huddle there muttering to himself awhile, and then run back to her in a flap. Her passive insight makes it clear to her that he's genuinely stressed now, he's not just being a big blushing goofball. This requires seriousness.

"It's o-kay, Julian," she says, slowly like she's settling a spooked animal, clapping a big hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring rub. "Yer okay."

"It's not!" he cries, "My parents are going to be furious!"

There's a beat. Heather's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Do they not know?" Said eyebrows descend into a thoughtful frown, she tilts her head. "Have y'not....like, told them?"

-

And the whole table fell apart laughing as Julian scrambled to clarify, and I'm smiling writing it up again even now. What a fucking dork. And what a joy Heather is in every scene.

I think the thing that has me full of the giggles over this exchange specifically is that like....you know when you get to take your hands off the steering wheel of a character and they just do it themselves? This was one of those - he dug this stupid hole himself and I just stood by and watched him do it. He's absolutely useless (affectionate) and it makes me laugh.