#i don't think a lot of people get just how much goes into voice training
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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happy transsexual thursday! my friend & i have been struggling so much with voice training, feeling too stupid & embarrassed to keep going every time we try… we kinda felt like it was hopeless & we’d never make any progress. and now she can control her larynx!! she did it!! :D
Voice training takes so much time, energy, and commitment that a lot of people don't recognize. It takes a lot of time to explore what range you want your voice to be at and what is comfortable, and I wish more people would see that.
I'm so proud of you and your friend! Voice training is such a great thing, and your efforts aren't for naught. I hope you and your friend continue to learn about your voices and how you want it to exist <3
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pyrodolls · 9 months ago
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will you write more parts for the yandere!fan fic? 🫣
stalker! yandere boy x gn! popstar reader (part 2)
what if you had two different yanderes pining for you?
✰ warnings: stalking, mentions of murder, regular yandere tendencies, gender neutral reader
✰ a/n: damn that first part did a lot better than i thought it would, thank you guys! so how about i bring in a second yandere… i’m naming this yandere victor, and the yandere in the first part is bayani. (btw the art below is by RIP2_)
part one (with bayani) right here! a third part is coming soon, featuring both bayani and victor when they realize they both are pining for you...
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stalker! yandere boy that puts in more effort than superfan! yandere boy to catch your attention. bayani could never love you. he can barely even handle you looking at him, what makes you think he’s the right one for you? he’s just a lowly coward. victor is the one for you. he loves you so much. more than bayani.
stalker! yandere boy that doesn't care about your music. not one bit. because he loves you for you! who cares what your music sounds like? he doesn't care what genre it is, or if you even have a good voice or not. he'd be the best boyfriend for you because he treats you like an actual human, not just some singing machine. besides, he personally prefers metal. maybe he can listen to it with you when you get together! it sounds like a delightful date.
stalker! yandere boy that follows you around wherever you go. he tracks your travelling patterns, and visits whatever places you visit at the exact same time. whether you fly private, commercial, or even use a train or car. doesn't matter. he will follow you. where you go, he goes.
stalker! yandere boy that would go as far as to disguise himself as someone else in order to interact with you and gain your attention. you go eat at a restaurant? victor would kill a random waiter, steal their uniform, and take their place. you stay at a hotel? he's posing as room service and will steal your clothes and belongings tidy up your room! he'll even use the key to your room to walk in and watch you sleep at night. you just look so enchanting in your sleep, how can he resist? it's not wrong, he's just keeping you safe. he is the only one that can make sure you are happy and healthy. in victor's eyes, even the strongest bodyguard cannot keep you safe. you don't need anyone else. just him.
stalker! yandere boy that tries to catch your attention anytime he can. he needs you to notice him. he needs you to say something to him, talk to him, touch him, know him, acknowledge his existence. victor needs you to validate his existence in order to continue living. without you, what would he do? he cannot handle being away from you. he cannot handle being alone. don't leave him alone. don't leave him alone. don't leave him alone. he needs you.
stalker! yandere boy that gets jealous easily. you collab with another artist or you're seen holding hands with someone in public? he's spreading a fake rumor about whoever it is and ruining their life. you shouldn't be so stupid. why associate with someone else when you have him? why ditch him for someone else? he's right there. he can be better than them. who cares what they look or sound like? victor's so much better. he can show you how much better he is, if you give him a chance.
stalker! yandere boy that is so desperate for any kind of attention from you. it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative attention. he always plays it cool and acts all smug and calm when you notice him, but on the inside he is resisting the urge to grab you and run away from the world. all he wants is to have a peaceful, isolated life with you. away from the disgusting people in the world. you and victor can be happy together.
stalker! yandere boy that is incredibly clingy. you know you need him, right? he must be near you at all times. his presence keeps you alive and happy. you keep HIM happy. he needs you. you both need each other. if he can't see or feel your presence, he will go insane. that is why he travels anywhere you go. that is why he must go to each and every one of your concerts and meet-and-greets. you assumed he was just a big fan to be at every single event, but you just can't see that he loves you much more than just some fan.
stalker! yandere boy that just wants to be with you! let him be around you. let him completely obsess over you, touch you, love you, do whatever he wants to you. he won't hurt you! he just wants a little bit of freedom to say and do whatever he wants to you once you are together, so he can make sure you don't leave him. he will make you feel so good, so loved, so appreciated. nobody will ever love you more than he does.
but there may be someone that rivals his affections. a lowly, masochistic, scrawny pest that thinks he loves you more. victor will have to do something about it before your little superfan finally decides to man up and make a move on you.
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kurikive · 5 months ago
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CASUAL | danielle marsh.
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— "is it casual now?"
6thmember!reader, situationship/fwb but nothing sexual, angst, fluff at the end i promise, dani swears, reader is a (closeted) lesbian, reader is horrible at reading people, written in 2nd person, they work it out on the remix
warnings : A LOT of internalized homophobia !! reader refers to herself multiple times as a predator but it's just from fear and insecurity, nothing actually predatory is happening in the story. extremely brief mentions of starvation
wc: 5.4k words
inspired by: Casual — Chappell Roan
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you and danielle marsh are friends. more than co-workers, you're friends. although you don't have that much in common except for your age, it was easy to adapt to the harsh environment of the k-pop industry's training system with someone like danielle by your side.
she's always been a ray of sunshine in everyone's lives, you're not the exception. if you were in a bad mood, tired from waking up in the early morning everyday, worked to the point of exhaustion, danielle would be there rubbing your shoulders and saying something sweet like
"you're doing great, y/n! keep up!"
and then you'd smile at her, and she'd smile back, and you'd feel so much better, thanks to danielle.
you didn't have many interests in common. music taste, fashion sense, movie picks, food preferences, personality types, if anything you were almost her complete opposite. and yet, she sat in your bed every night while you scrolled on your phone, talking for hours until it the clock hits midnight and she goes back to her room.
danielle did most of the talking, and you carefully listened to everything she said. the enthusiasm in which she enunciated all her words was endearing to listen to, and it couldn't not bring a smile out of you. the girl never forgot to give you your chance to speak too, trying to get to know you better everyday.
there was one thing she could not know, however. that you're a lesbian.
if it was hard enough being gay in korea, it was ten times harder when you were about to debut in a girl group, in one of the biggest companies in the industry at the moment nonetheless.
there were times where the members would all gather and have girl talks, talking about things like movies, celebrity crushes, past boyfriends and all that stuff, and you felt left out every single time.
sometimes it's more a curse than a blessing that danielle notices everything, because when she asks, "who's your celebrity crush, y/n?", "what do you look for in a boy, y/n?", "have you ever had a boyfriend, y/n?", you never know how you're supposed to respond.
it wasn't safe. it'll never be safe.
you've known the girls for almost a year and there has never been an indication of the way they felt about the LGBTQ+ community. hanni was your safest bet, she seemed the most open minded, but then again you can never be sure.
they were all so painfully straight.
so you try your best to answer vaguely,
"i don't know.", "i'm not sure, i don't really think about that." they complain a little about your mysteriousness, but it doesn't take long for them to let it go and move on.
you don't know how long you have to keep pretending you're not sure. you are sure.
you like girls.
you don't want to keep pretending you don't. but how would they feel?.
they'd feel unsafe, uncomfortable, scared, exposed to a threat, a possibility of being prey to a predator, a little voice in your head tells you.
but you're not. you're not a predator. they know you're not a predator. you'd never do anything to hurt them, or make them uncomfortable.
so you keep pretending. but the shell is starting to crack, and a knot in your throat gets tighter everytime you hear your members ask "is he your type?".
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your debut is only a couple months away. you pray to god hanni has noticed by now. she's your roommate after all.
you start playing some specific songs without your headphones in hopes she walks by or enters the room and notices. you hope she's the one that asks. but she doesn't, she never mentions the songs, ever.
so you move on to movies and shows.
when she catches you watching heartbreak high in the living room TV, she only says "oh they're aussies, right?"
when she sees you watching heartstopper on your phone while eating dinner she just says, "kit connor is soooo handsome."
she doesn't mention it when she goes into your room and you're playing but i'm a cheerleader on your laptop. but hanni has caught on.
and the next time she goes into your shared room, she closes the door behind her. you're in your bed, and you're staring at each other, both of your eyes shine with nervousness.
"can i ask you something?" she says from the door, so shakily you start fearing she's not going to take it like you wish she would.
"sure." you didn't mean for your voice to come out as quiet as it did.
it's a nerve-wracking couple of seconds watching hanni take a seat in her own bed and face you. she takes a big breath before asking, "do you- no, sorry. are you... gay?"
yes, yes, yes. i am a lesbian. i like girls. you want to scream, but the realization of reality strangles you and your throat feels so tight, and you can't say anything.
"it's not like there's anything wrong about it, i'm just... asking." she tries. you can tell she's trying. it's sweet that she's trying.
"yes." it's a struggle to get it out, and your heart starts racing, but just being able to feels like such a relief that you might start crying. but then fear washes down on you again when you can't read hanni, at all.
"i'm really sorry, hanni. i promise i'm not weird or predatory or anything, i would never try to make you uncomfortable and i'm sorry if i ever did. i promise i don't like you like that, not that you're not attractive or anything, that's not what i mean at all. i just- i would never like you like that, you're like my sister and i promise that i'm still the same y/n you met, i really hope this doesn't change anything in our-" she cuts off your rambled apology-slash-explanation with a hug.
"it doesn't. i promise." it hits you now, just now, that hanni knows. she knows.
"please don't tell the others." you're choked up, and that's the only thing you could say before the tears in your eyes caught up. i don't know how they'll take it, you want to say, but the only thing that comes out is a broken sob.
"i won't. it's okay, y/n."
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you've grown closer to hanni than you'd ever thought you would. you spend your nights in your room talking and laughing and watching funny videos you send each other.
it's been a few months since you've debuted and you couldn't be happier. you had someone to rely on, someone who knows all your secrets and can trust her with them, and vice versa.
your career has skyrocketed and your popularity is through the roof, and although there are always negative consequences that come with that fame, it's been mostly great on your end.
danielle doesn't really hang out in your room to talk anymore. if you're honest, you kind of miss it, but she surely has her reasons, and you don't think too much about it.
you're currently in one of the vocal practice rooms at HYBE, setting up your phone to do a phoning live. you'd just finish your vocal practice and you had asked for permission beforehand.
after a few minutes of talking with your fans, recommending movies and talking about food, you hear a knock on your door. quite strange.
"yeah? who is it?" you yell loud enough to no cause any ruckus. the door slightly opens and a face peeks inside, "it's me!" danielle's signature smile shining brightly at you, "i saw you were live and wanted to come hang out."
you didn't even need to tell her anything before she was coming right inside the room to grab a chair and sit beside you. "well, come hang out then!" you face your screen to see danielle struggling to bring the chair closer to you, and you chuckle a bit. "dani's here, guys!"
danielle has always been very touchy; with everyone, that is. today was not the exception, resting her head on your shoulder, holding your hand and locking your fingers together, nuzzling her face in your neck, it's all things you're already used to.
it's never been more than just friendly showcases of affection, to you, at least. and you've also never been irritated by it, but there's some guilt you try to suppress.
you don't want to push her away, you're not uncomfortable with her actions, what is uncomfortable is her potentially finding out your sexuality and thinking you let her shower you with affection for your own amusement. you fear it. but you don't want to think about that right now.
you think about it again, however, when you go back home and open social media only to see videos and threads with thousands of likes and views compiling every sweet moment of affection that happened just mere hours ago.
there's a pang in your chest when you see the tens of delusional comments talking of how much they'd like to see you and your friend as a couple. it feels like you're being strangled, and you suddenly feel unwell, so you close the app and turn off your phone.
"i should watch a movie."
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you fully believe your debut was your prime. everyday gets harder, scandal after scandal, comeback after comeback, day after day. you work really hard, your members know, your fans know. but it never looks like it's going to get easier.
you win awards, win some more, get another important deal, shoot another session, write another song, the cycle repeats although not in the same order. like a fucked up loop. you're so fucking tired.
you wonder how hyein is holding up. you care a lot for her, like your little sister. she seems okay, eating a bowl of yogurt and fruits in the living room with haerin and hanni. are you the only one having a hard time?
you need to relieve your stress, and there's really no other option other than going to the gym to work out. so you go back to your room to lazily change into your practice clothes and grab your backpack, "i'm going to the gym." you try your best to sound at least a little enthusiastic as you walk behind the living room couch.
"when are you coming back?" you hear danielle ask from the kitchen, a twinge of concern in her voice. "it might start raining soon."
"i won't take long. if i see it starts to get cloudy i'll get going." you try to put her worries at ease. your gym doesn't have windows, though.
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you shouldn't have gone. you're not even supposed to go anyway. it's raining hard, and it might start storming soon. but your manager can't know you're here. one of the many downsides of being in a group with four minors and two barely-adults, you can't call any of them to pick you up. so fuck it, you're taking the public transportation.
kind of extremely risky considering you are literally in newjeans, but okay. what else is there to do? what you failed to consider is the only bus stop being about five blocks away. and the bus doesn't drop you off even remotely close to the dorms. so you're gonna be running in the rain and, fuck it again, you do just that.
the first five blocks to the bus stop weren't that bad, you didn't get soaked like you imagined, blocking most raindrops with your backpack over your head. you really should've just brought an umbrella, though.
good thing you brought a mask, at least. nobody seemed to recognize you on the bus. you take a seat as close as possible to the exit and take out your phone to hurriedly text the group chat.
i got a bit caught up, im omw
domt worry 2 much
ill b there soon :))
minji responds with a thumbs up, hanni leaves an "idiot" that gets a like reaction by haerin. you see danielle write and then stop writing about 3 times, but she ends up not sending anything at all, so you just turn off your phone and look outside for your stop.
it only takes a couple minutes of waiting to see the silhouette of your dorm building. you get off your seat and wait for the bus to halt at the next stop to get off. it's raining a bit harder, but there's nothing you can do except wing it.
and when you get off, you immediately put your backpack on top of your head and start running as fast as you could towards your dorm. you get some looks, but no one can possibly be able to recognize you, not at the speed you're going.
after a few minutes, your legs start getting tired not only from running, but all the exercise you did hours earlier. another thing you failed to consider in this mediocre, careless plan.
but you're almost there. and you're almost not soaked.
by the time you reach your building the only thing about you that isn't wet is your scalp. you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, it's probably one of your members, but you're almost there, you can't pick up.
you enter the gates of the apartment, and you're probably going to make a mess on the floor on the elevator, but your legs can't take it anymore, and you thank any god that hears your prayers when the elevator doors open and it's empty. you can't take more embarrassment right now.
the doors open once again and you try not to make much noise as you run towards your dorm. someone inside must've heard you fumbling with your keys because as soon as you find the right one the door is already open, a concerned danielle with a just as worried minji behind her. you smile at the sight of them. "hello!"
"get your ass inside!" you hear hanni shout from the couch.
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you're drying your hair in your room after taking a shower and explaining the situation to your group members. just as you're about to turn on your phone to see what time it is you hear a knock on your door, "can i come in?" it's danielle.
"yup. come on in!" you answer a lot more energized than a couple hours before. danielle's not wearing her usual bright smile, but rather a more worried expression. "y/n, can we talk?"
you're confused. you've never heard or seen her like this before. she's obviously been worried before, she cares about you just as much as the others, but this time it's different. "yeah, what's up?" you try your best to respond calmly and tap a stop in the bed beside yourself, which danielle gladly takes.
"are you okay?" she asks as she settles down at your side. what?
"what do you mean?" you don't notice it but you start fidgeting with your own fingers. danielle notices.
"it's just," she tries looking somewhere else, but she can't help the need of looking into your eyes all the time, looking for some sort of sign, some crack, "i can tell you're stressed. you're tired and... if you need to talk i just want you to know that i'm here." her eyes are dripping honey and her hand is so warm when she grabs yours.
you show her a sluggish smile, "thanks, dani. i appreciate that." when you look back, her face is already finding it's way to the crook of your neck. "i'm just a little tired of everything. it really feels like i'm doing the same things all over again. i know we've achieved a lot as a group but i feel like i have nothing going on for myself." you sigh, danielle says nothing, urging you to continue.
"all the songs i pitch get turned down, my other drafts feel too personal to release as a group song. every song i write with the group in mind feels, i don't know, empty?"
your eyes unfocus as a wave of emptiness washes over you and the only thing you feel is a water droplet from your bangs fall and travel down your temples. and also the warmth shared by danielle's hand in yours.
"i just feel like nothing's going on in my life." you feel danielle's head leave your shoulder and you turn to look at each other at the same time, "i think i know how you feel." she says with the sweetest eyes ever.
"thanks for listening, dani." you smile at her, but it feels so strange when she doesn't smile back. she just stares, right through you. her eyes are so pretty; you've always known but this is the first time you've looked at them directly for so long (there's really nothing else for you to look at when she's so close to your face).
oh, yeah. in a sudden moment you were inches apart. you don't remember moving so it must've been danielle.
you don't really understand what's going on. maybe this is an eye contact battle and you're not supposed to blink. and you think for a moment you had it easy because suddenly danielle's pretty eyes are nowhere to be found and you're staring at her eyelids and long eyelashes instead.
before your brain even thinks of giving you the chance to mutter "i win!" in a silly manner, you feel your own lips getting shut. covered, enveloped by another set of softness.
oh. this is not what you expected at all.
what are you even supposed to do right now? well, pull away, obviously. but that could could give danielle the impression that you hate everything about this and, really, that's not true at all. it's good. well, not good, but- danielle is not horrible at kissing.
what even is happening, anyway? i mean, you're kissing. but what else? nothing feels like it's moving; it feels like time's stopped. there also hasn't been anything that has lead up to this happening.
so you're just left there, paralyzed, in shock, waiting until danielle pulls away. just waiting until she's done with you. until she's satisfied.
and it's until danielle notices that you're not moving that she realizes what she's done. she pulls away, shaken and distraught.
"y/n, i am so sorry. i don't know what came over me, i am so so so sorry. i really didn't mean to do that. please forgive me, y/n, i am really so sorry." at this point, danielle's voice starts to break. "i don't know why i did that, it's just, i don't know, you just looked good a-and we were just close and-"
"it's okay, dani. i know."
"no, y/n, i really am sorry. i-"
"dani, i swear it's fine." you grab her shoulder to reassure her, but is anything really fine right now? "i..." you don't really know what to say next. "i don't, like, hate you or anything. i understand things like that happen. i'm not mad at you."
"really?" you've never seen her tear up so fast. you definitely didn't expect her to tear up at this. but you know the feeling of guilt so well you can't help but feel sympathy for her. "are you sure? i promise it won't happen again."
"i'm sure, dani. you could never do anything to make me hate you."
you smile at her, she sniffles. it's the last thing you hear before you hear the sound of her wristwatch's seconds ticking. you don't really know what's going through her head. you count about 34 ticks.
"did you hate it?" her voice isn't weak, but it is lower than you normally expect it to be.
you're stunned, but the way she looks at you so earnestly, with a hint of nervousness in her eyes forces you to answer within seconds, "n-no! dani, i didn't... hate it. it was just unexpected. i didn't really process it at first." it's the truth, but it feels so gut-wrenching to say.
another 20 ticks of quiet.
"can i do it again?"
hello? hello? what is going on? hello?
"i-i mean, if you want to." it sounds more like a question than a proper answer. and danielle takes it anyway.
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you don't have any romantic feelings for danielle, that's for sure. she's said she doesn't have any feelings for you either. that's established. and yet when hanni is too caught up watching movies in the living room with minji and hyein, danielle is always there, sitting in your bed.
sometime's it's just little pecks while you cuddle and watch something she doesn't care much about. sometime's she's on the verge of kissing the living shit out of you.
it's never more than that. none of you let it be more than that. it's more than okay.
it's comfortable. it's casual.
and yet, every time it happens, you feel guilt eat at your stomach.
because danielle doesn't know. and she can't know.
it's not like this was your idea in the first place, it was danielle's. but the fact that you let her do it anyway could be predatory enough for her to feel unsafe if she ever did find out. even if she's the one who caused this all.
and never once do you think about yourself while it happens. it's not a moment for you, it's a moment for danielle to take. and you're okay with that. as long as she's okay with it.
you're okay with many things just because danielle is okay with them.
if danielle wants to watch a romcom, you watch a romcom. if danielle wants to eat plain yogurt, you eat plain yogurt. if danielle wants to kiss you, you let her kiss you.
it's not that big of a deal if there are no feelings involved. it's just a matter of believing that that's actually true.
you let her do whatever she wants because you're scared to do the taking. because taking feels like stealing, and doing feels like attacking. and you're so scared to hurt danielle that you forget you can also hurt yourself.
but if it's so casual, why doesn't she let go of your hand? why does she call you pretty everyday? why does she look at you with those pretty eyes like you're her whole world?
was the "i love you" she said yesterday something she meant as platonic love? is there such a thing as casual love?
was it just the sound of the raindrops on your window that made you hallucinate the sound of a love confession?
you don't eat anything for the rest of the day.
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minji and hyein are visiting their parents. hanni and haerin are out of the country. and you're in the dorm kitchen trying to figure out how blurred the lines are while you mix the milk into your tea.
you feel your heart drop when you hear the sound of footsteps of the line-blurrer herself over the sounds of light rain. it hasn't stopped since the day before.
you don't want to feel anything right now, you don't want to hear anything right now.
she wraps her arms around your waist and says, "good morning." with that big bright smile on her face. at one point it started hurting when she did, but you don't remember when.
she smells like the candles you burnt in your room two days after hanni left. you were trying to get rid of danielle's scent from your room, but you couldn't tell her that, so you just said you were trying something new.
danielle notices you say nothing back, and your eyes are nowhere in particular. "watchu thinkin' about?" her always cheery tone gets you out of your trance, and she notices when you stop stirring the spoon in your cup. you're still silent for a bit, but she lets you take your time.
"i don't think we should do this anymore, danielle."
you tense up when her arms leave your waist, but it feels oddly freeing. you don't turn back to face her.
"what do you mean?"
"are we still casual?"
there's disbelief in danielle's voice when she speaks, "what are you talking about? of course we are!" but she sounds dishonest, in a way.
"really?" that's when you turn around, her eyes are wide and her cheeks are quite flushed but nothing about her seems guilty at all, "because saying "i love you" doesn't seem quite casual to me."
she scoffs, "y/n, i tell all my friends i love them. it's a normal thing!"
"i'd agree with you if we weren't kissing on the low. it's a little too much on top of that."
"i don't know what you think casual means but-"
"what i mean is we should stop before the lines start to blur, that's if they haven't already." you don't want to yell at her. you hope she understands before you have to raise your voice. "we are public figures, famous figures. if this goes wrong we can't go back and that could potentially ruin everything, not only for us but for our group."
"well, it can't go wrong if there's no feelings involved, can it?" danielle is usually playfully sassy, but she's never responded to you like this before.
"we're human, danielle. feelings can't be stopped." you're not too good at reading people, but you can see something has clicked in danielle's brain.
"what i'm getting is that you developed feelings for me while we were casual, is that right?" she seems so sure and confident that it annoys you. it frustrates you. and you want to cry.
"no, that's not what i said. but i am scared of it happening, and i want this to stop before it has the chance to."
"well, you should've thought of that before you said yes." you never really did.
"why are you upset, anyways?"
"b-because!" her voice gets louder, "i just wanted this to be casual, and now your telling me you're scared of catching feelings, it's just weird. that's all."
you sigh, "listen, i don't want this to end on a bad note. i just-"
"well, i don't want this to end at all!"
it takes you a minute to believe what you're hearing.
"a-are you hearing yourself?" it's shocking, it really is, "this is crazy, why are you being so selfish right now?"
"because it feels good! okay?!" danielle has completely let go of the loose strings of morality she was holding on to, "it fucking feels good, a-and you make me feel good. i like it when we kiss, and i like it when we cuddle and, and, i just like it, okay?!" that's the first time you've heard danielle curse in your entire life.
"okay, well, i'm glad you did. but i don't. i don't feel good at all." it's so scary and risky because you're two seconds away from telling her the truth, and this could potentially damage both your careers irreversibly, but you can't think of any lie or excuse that is true enough to keep hiding it.
"i drown in guilt every time we kiss and i feel like i'm choking when you look at me these days."
you've never seen her look so confused, like she really doesn't understand you. because she never had to.
"why?"
"i am a lesbian, danielle." you can't shatter, not now. "and it kills me because you'll never understand how hard it is to hide like this for so long. and yes, we hide this casual thing from our members, but after this is over you don't have to hide anything at all and i still have to hide everything."
she says nothing. her eyes soften, but you can't read them. not like you ever could.
"i didn't catch feelings for you, but i could, and you're not helping out. and you don't have to worry about that. you don't have to worry about your members being disgusted at you for something you can't change. you don't have to pretend. you don't have to be scared that you're making someone uncomfortable by simply existing beside them. i had to pretend i didn't care when you kissed me, i had to pretend to be okay when you kissed me again. i've been pretending to be okay with so much i don't know what being okay is anymore."
danielle still says nothing.
"but that's all gone to shit now, hasn't it?" your voice can't break now, but it does anyway, even when your not done speaking. "i can't be okay with everything. i can't be casual about everything, danielle. not anymore." there's a hot tear running down your cheek, but you try to hold yourself together.
"i never want to hurt you, ever, danielle. but i am seriously hurting myself. i am eating myself from inside out. there's nothing casual about that."
"i think i might be in love with you." is the first thing she says in minutes. and that's when you shatter completely. you turn around to leave your mug of now cold tea on the counter and you rest your elbows on it to hide your face in your hands.
"do you think that helps?" you're sobbing.
"i'm sorry. i know it doesn't. i just had a moment of realization and i think that's why i was so upset. i didn't want you to end this because i was in love with you since the start and didn't realize."
"this is fucking crazy." it really is, that's why you can't hold down the laugh of complete astonishment that leaves your lips. "do you realize how crazy this is? i just came out to you and you're- i don't even want to think about this."
"i'm really sorry, y/n." it's the first time you see guilt in danielle's face in a long time. "i really am. i really didn't know, i- i didn't know anything at all."
"you were upset of me potentially having feelings for you when it was you the whole time, huh?" this is no time or place to make jokes, you're literally crying as you speak. but this is hilarious. danielle seems to think so too given she also laughs.
"i don't know what i was thinking." she says, hiding her face in her palm in embarrassment.
"i wish i knew too." you say, "i never do."
"so what now? i mean, you clearly don't like me back." you don't understand how danielle does it. she never looks away, she faces the truth, something you're unable to do easily.
"that's a good question, i actually never thought about that." i mean, you thought the possibility of danielle ever liking a woman, let alone you, was at a mere 0.1%, can you blame yourself for not thinking of a solution to this?
"i mean, you did say you could."
"selfish asshole." you mutter to yourself, but danielle hears it anyways. "hey!"
"i'm crying right in front of you out of fear and frustration, have some respect, dude."
"i would say it wouldn't hurt to try but it clearly does so i don't know what you want to do." wow, danielle really could never do anything to make you hate her. nothing at all. "i don't mind being the selfless one this time."
"cheesy." she's always been like that, you can't say you hate it. "i'll reheat my tea and think about it."
danielle waits for you. maybe it wouldn't be so bad to risk falling in love with her too. you've risked it once.
the microwave beeps and you take your mug out. it's hot again. you turn to face danielle and she's still there, hasn't moved an inch. "i'm willing to give it a try. but nothing casual."
she shines you the widest grin you've ever seen from her. "nothing was ever casual, i fear."
"i still can't believe you cursed." you say as you walk past her to go to your room (that probably smells like danielle's perfume again).
"i did?!" she trails behind you. you nod. "i almost jumped."
"hey, am i the first one to know?"
"what, that i'm a lesbian?" she nods, now beside you. you shake your head after a sip of your tea.
"hanni knew."
"i'm not even the first? fuck..." is she doing this on purpose... she has to be, right?
"dude? hello?"
"don't dude me, i'm your future girlfriend." she hits your arm as you walk into your room. you don't know what you're gonna say to hanni when she comes back.
"confident much? shut up and pick a movie to watch." you'll figure it out later.
end.
🗒️ this wasn't as long as i thought it was gonna be THANK GOD
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lackadaisycats · 9 months ago
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Hey Tracy! Have you heard about the new Ai called Sora? Apparently it can now create 2D and 3D animations as well as hyper realistic videos. I’ve been getting into animation and trying to improve my art for years since I was 7, but now seeing that anyone can create animation/works in just a mare seconds by typing in a couple words, it’s such a huge slap in the face to people who actually put the time and effort into their works and it’s so discouraging! And it has me worried about what’s going to happen next for artists and many others, as-well. There’s already generated voices, generated works stolen from actual artists, generated music, and now this! It’s just so scary that it’s coming this far. 
Yeah, I've seen it. And yeah, it feels like the universe has taken on a 'fuck you in particular' attitude toward artists the past few years. A lot of damage has already been done, and there are plenty of reasons for concern, but bear in mind that we don't know how this will play out yet. Be astute, be justifiably angry, but don't let despair take over. --------
One would expect that the promo clips that have been dropping lately represent some of the best of the best-looking stuff they've been able to produce. And it's only good-looking on an extremely superficial level. It's still riddled with problems if you spend even a moment observing. And I rather suspect, prior to a whole lot of frustrated iteration, most prompts are still going to get you camera-sickness inducing, wibbly-wobbly nonsense with a side of body horror.
Will the tech ultimately get 'smarter' than that and address the array of typical AI giveaways? Maybe. Probably, even. Does that mean it'll be viable in quite the way it's being marketed, more or less as a human-replacer? Well…
A lot of this is hype, and hype is meant to drive up the perceived value of the tech. Executives will rush to be early adopters without a lot of due diligence or forethought because grabbing it first like a dazzled chimp and holding up like a prize ape-rock makes them look like bleeding-edge tech geniuses in their particular ecosystem. They do this because, in turn, that perceived value may make their company profile and valuations go up too, which makes shareholders short-term happy (the only kind of happy they know). The problem is how much actual functional value will it have? And how long does it last? Much of it is the same routine we were seeing with blockchain a few years ago: number go up. Number go up always! Unrealistic, unsustainable forever-growth must be guaranteed in this economic clime. If you can lay off all of your people and replace them with AI, number goes up big and never stops, right?
I have some doubts. ----------------------
The chips also haven't landed yet with regards to the legality of all of this. Will these adopters ultimately be able to copyright any of this output trained on datasets comprised of stolen work? Can computer-made art even be copyrighted at all? How much of a human touch will be required to make something copyright-able? I don't know yet. Neither do the hype team or the early adopters.
Does that mean the tech will be used but will have to be retrained on the adopter's proprietary data? Yeah, maybe. That'd be a somewhat better outcome, at least. It still means human artists make specific things for the machine to learn from. (Watch out for businesses that use 'ethical' as a buzzword to gloss over how many people they've let go from their jobs, though.)
Will it become industry standard practice to do things this way? Maybe. Will it still require an artist's sensbilities and oversignt to plan and curate and fix the results so that it doesn't come across like pure AI trash? Yeah, I think that's pretty likely.
If it becomes standard practice, will it become samey, and self-referential and ultimately an emblem of doing things the cookie-cutter way instead of enlisting real, human artists? Quite possibly.
If it becomes standard industry practice, will there still be an audience or a demand or a desire for art made by human artists? Yes, almost certainly. With every leap of technology, that has remained the case. ------------------ TL;DR Version:
I'm not saying with any certainty that this AI blitz is a passing fad. I think we're likely to experience a torrential amount of generative art, video, voice, music, programming, and text in the coming years, in fact, and it will probably irrevocably change the layout of the career terrain. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was being overhyped as a business strategy right now. And I don't think the immensity of its volume will ever overcome its inherent emptiness.
What I am certain of is that it will not eliminate the innate human impulse to create. Nor the desire to experience art made by a fellow soul. Keep doing your thing, Anon. It's precious. It's authentic. It will be all the more special because it will have come from you, a human.
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jpmarvel90 · 10 months ago
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Don't Belong part 2
Masterlist Natasha Masterlist
Part 1
Word Count: 5499
Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader
Summary: After Y/n's accident on her mission, her mother's are terrified that they might not get the chance to make things right with their daughter. That's assuming Y/n wants anything to do with them when she comes around.
Nat: Mama Wanda: Mom
Nat's POV:
It's been over 24 hours since Y/n came out of surgery and she's still unconscious with a machine helping her breathe. I thought she would have been awake by now and there'd be a relief that she was on the start of her long road to recovery.
Instead, Wanda and I are glued to our seats next to her bed. We've only gotten up to use the bathroom. Otherwise, we've remained by her side. Pepper kindly offered to take the boys for as long as it's needed. Though they are both very anxious to see Y/n themselves. They might be young, but they understand that she's hurt. They love their sister, and they want her to wake up just as much as we do.
I've not slept since we found out that she was hurt, and I don't plan to until she is awake. Though the longer it goes on, the more my body is fighting against that desire. I want to be there when she wakes up to show her that her moms are going to be there for her the whole way through her recovery.
Wanda and I have spoken a lot over the last day. We've shared our pain and sadness, whilst making sure we come up with a plan to help her with her recovery and to ultimately gain her forgiveness.
We both know that Y/n will not forgive us easily, if at all. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to try with everything in us. For too long we've allowed her to go about her life thinking that we don't love or care for her anymore. She has every right to feel that way after how we've treated her. But she will not ever question that again.
The both of us are sat in silence, both of us watching over our daughter. My eyes are trained on her chest, making sure that she is still breathing, gaining a lot of comfort from the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. However, the silence doesn't last long until the door flies open.
Out of instinct, both Wanda and I shoot up from our seats and take a defensive stance in front of our daughter to protect her from any danger. However, we soon relax when we see Yelena's worried face. "I came as soon as I could." She tells us as she moves closer to the bed, her hand hesitant as it reaches out towards her niece.
Yelena has been away for most of the time over the last few years. She's been helping to find all the widows and has only come back for a couple of days at a time. Each time though, she has always made time for us. "How is she?" She asks, as I pull up another chair for my sister.
"It's not good. She's still in critical condition. They had to remove part of her liver, but Cho reckons that if she can get through these first few days, that she'll be on track for a full recovery." I fill her in as her eyes never leave Y/n. "Clint said that it was a double agent that set her up." She states and we nod in clarification. "I'll be paying a visit to Fury when I'm done here." She announces, an anger to her voice. "We've tried to see him, but Fury won't let us anywhere near him." Wanda warns her but Yelena just scoffs. "I'll get to him one way or another." She states and I believe her. She's incredibly protective of the people she loves, and she'll want to make sure that he pays. I actually hope that she does.
"Wait, you said you were with Clint?" I question her and she nods. "Yeah, he was with me on my last mission. He's waiting outside, he didn't want to intrude." She responds, pointing towards the window behind her where Clint is stood with a young girl next to him. "Who's with him?" I ask. "Kate Bishop. Clint's stray. He's going to see if she can join Shield." Yelena explains. "She was with us and had no where else to go so I said she could stay here for now." She adds on. If Clint thinks she's worthy of Shield, then I believe that she is. She must also be good if Yelena has been working with her. She wouldn't let anyone help who would slow her down.
"How long are you back for?" Wanda steps in with her own question, making my own ears prick up for her response. "As long as I need to be. I want to be around to help with her recovery." Yelena replies, making me smile. Y/n is going to need all the help she can get, and she adores Yelena, so I'm glad that she's not going anywhere any time soon.
After a while, we indicate for Clint and Kate to come in. We go through our introduction, and I can see how enthusiastic Kate is. She's very chatty and I'm surprise she's not pissed off Clint and Yelena yet though! "I read about Y/n in the Young Initiative files." Kate shares. "Did you know she is the only recruit to ever get a perfect score. She could have passed the exams two years ago and still topped the class." She tells us enthusiastically. "Sounds like you're a fan." Yelena teases her, making the young girl blush. "I guess when your parents are the Black Widow and the Scarlett Witch, you're going to be good." Kate chuckles.
It makes my gaze drop, something that Yelena clocks on to instantly. She's not been around so hasn't seen how we've treated Y/n. I'm actually worried for when I tell her. She's going to hate us for it and I'd be surprised if she even lets us stay around Y/n. "Y/n did it all on her own. With a little help from Steve. Her talent has come from her own ability and desire to be the best." Wanda corrects Kate, showing that we have no claim to how good Y/n is at being an agent. "Oh, that's even more impressive then. You must be really proud." She smiles at us and we both nod. "More than she'll ever know." I mutter.
__________
When Kate and Clint leave, Yelena is quick to question Wanda and I. We tell her of what's been going on and how ashamed we are and how much we want to be able to fix everything. "You don't deserve to fix it." She spits angrily at us. "It's no excuse to say that you got lost in the boys. Y/n is your daughter too and she needed you." She shouts, calling us both out on our actions. "We know Yelena. We can't take back how we've treated her. But I promise that we won't every do anything like that again!" I tell her sincerely. "No, you won't. I won't let you. If you are going to be back in her life as the parents you should have been, you have to be all in. You promised to be better than we had Natasha!" She tells me firmly with a finger jabbing into my chest.
"I know Yelena. I wish I had a valid excuse or reason for what we did. I will never forgive myself. I will always have a hatred towards myself for ever making her feel the way we did. But I'm not going to wallow and hide away from it. I want to own up to the mistake and try and fix it. I know that it's not going to be an easy fix, but I will stay here and face the brunt of the anger and pain that she's feeling because I will not give up on her. Not again." I tell her passionate. "Neither of us will. I promise you Yelena, we will do everything in our power to fix this." Wanda steps up and adds her own promise, taking my hand. At least we have each other through all of this.
Yelena doesn't speak, she just looks between the two of us, her chest heaving with anger. It's intimidating to be the one on the receiving end, but we deserve it. I'm glad that Yelena is here. She simple nods her head and that is the subject over with. For now.
That night, my body ultimately wins, and I end up getting a couple of hours sleep. Though it's full of nightmares that I can't seem to escape and then when I wake up, I'm terrified that Y/n will be awake already and I'll have missed it. But when my body wakes with a jolt, I'm met with my sleeping wife and still unconscious daughter.
I stretch out and move closer to the bed and take Y/n's bruised hand in my own. "I can't lose you. You are my daughter, blood or not and I love you so much. I know I haven't shown that to you and there is no excuse for that. I also know that you have every right to never forgive me. So, my only request, is please wake up. Please survive. I don't think I can live in a world without you in it." I plead with her. Hoping that somewhere in her subconscious she can hear me. I squeeze her hand, hoping for any response, but nothing comes.
The day goes by slower than usual. That is until Cho comes in to check on Y/n and gives us the good news that she should be able to breathe without the ventilator now. Wanda and I step outside as we watch through the window. We're holding on to each other tightly as we watch. "This is good. She's strong and this is the first step to her waking up." Wanda speaks. I can hear the hesitation in her voice, showing that she is trying to convince herself more than anything. "You're right. She is so strong. I know she's going to wake up soon." I add on, smiling at my wife.
Cho soon joins us with a smile. "She's doing well. She's now breathing easily on her own. I expect she'll wake up within a few hours. I'll be back to do a full examination then so we can assess her injuries." She informs us. I feel a sense of relief wash over me. Hopefully it won't be long until our daughter is back with us.
The next couple of hours seems to drag by. Clint, Yelena and Kate all paid another visit but left to try and sort a room out for Kate in the compound. Steve was then the next to join us, taking a seat at the end of Y/n's bed. It's a long wait until we finally see a twitch to Y/n's eye.
I'm the first to my feet, leaning over to see if I had imagined the small movement. "Y/n, honey. It's mama. Can you hear me?" I ask her, fighting off the tears threatening to fall. With a flutter, her blues eyes lock on to mine. "She squeezed my hand." Wanda says excitedly. "Baby, we're here." She tells Y/n, who's got a confused look in her eyes.
"You're in the medical wing sweetheart. You got shot on your mission." I explain to her. "S-t-Steve." She stutters out. "He's fine. He's here." I reassure her, waving for Steve to come closer. "Hey kiddo. Boy we're glad to see you awake." He tells her with a relived smile. One that she returns. "I'll got and get Dr Cho." Wanda states, quickly leaving the room. "T-the m-mission." Y/n starts but Steve is quick to stop her. "Is not to worry about right now. Just know it wasn't your fault. But we'll explain it when you're doing better." He tells her, earning a nod. She reaches out her hand to Steve and he instantly takes it. "You're not allowed to scare us like that again." He chuckles, his voice wavering.
"S-sorry." She replies, her eyes fluttering again. "It's ok sweetheart. Don't fight it if you want to sleep again." I tell her softly. She doesn't really acknowledge me, but she does seem to listen as her eyes flutter shut once again.
They don't stay closed for long though, soon woken up by Cho as she comes in with a wide smile. "There's my favourite patient." She smiles at Y/n, who grins in return. "I bet you s-say that to e-everyone." Y/n responds through a struggled chuckle. "But with you I actually mean it." Cho winks, before looking over Y/n's chart and obs.
She takes the time to explain Y/n's injuries to her and the plan for her recovery. I see her face drop when she realises she's going to be in the hospital for at least another week before being on strict bed rest when she's discharged. "I'll be around if you need anything or have any questions. So please get one of the nurses to get me if you need me. That goes for all of you." Dr Cho offers. "Thank you. For everything." I tell her sincerely. She gives me a tightly smile before turning on her heel and leaving the three of us too it.
With Cho gone, it's silent in the med bay as Wanda, Steve and I just watch over Y/n. She is struggling to keep her eyes open, but I can see a pain in them when they lock on to mine. "You should get some rest kiddo." Steve speaks up as Y/n nods in return. "W-will you s-stay?" She asks, making Steve smile widely. "Of course." He returns, moving to get another chair to sit with us. At that confirmation, Y/n seems comfortable enough to let her eyes close and for sleep to take back over.
It's almost agony to see her asleep once again. We've been waiting for so long for her to wake up, for her to be asleep so soon is tough. I almost want to start apologising and showing her that we're going to change and it's going to stick. But I don't want to overwhelm her. At the moment, her recovery is the most important thing. As much as I hate it, earning her forgiveness will have to wait.
"Now she's awake, you two should head to your apartment. See the twins, eat some proper food, and get some sleep. I can stay with her." Steve offers, but I'm quick to decline. "I don't want to leave her." I tell him, whilst gripping her hand tighter, my eyes not leaving her sleeping form. Steve lets out a sigh. "She'll be asleep for a while, and she needs you both on top form." He tells us.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Wanda smiling warmly at me. I hadn't even noticed that she had moved from the other side of the bed. "Steve's right. We've been here for days. If we want to do what's right by Y/n, then we need to look after ourselves as well." She speaks sense.
With a huff I stand from my seat and lean forward to press a kiss to Y/n's head. "We'll be back later sweetheart. I love you so much." I tell her softly then move so that Wanda can say goodbye too. With one last look to our daughter, we both reluctantly leave. Though I smile when I see Steve move closer and take Y/n's hand in his own. Although I will forever regret how we have treated Y/n, I'm glad that she has had Steve there for her.
Y/n's POV:
Well, that was not how I wanted my first mission to go. I wanted to impress everyone, not end up in the med bay with part of my liver missing! Waking up was a weird experience. Seeing my parents' faces were the last thing I expected to see. They seem genuinely worried, but that was probably all a front for everyone else. They can't be seen to not care about the daughter they've ignored for the last few years.
When I wake up next, I see Steve smile down at me. "You're still here." I say and he nods. "Of course. I wanted to make sure that you're ok." He replies, making my own smile grow. I look around and my smile drops when I see that my moms aren't here. I can't hide that it hurts a little that they didn't stick around. But I shouldn't care about that. They haven't cared about me.
"Should have guessed they would go once I woke up." I complain, wincing as I try to adjust myself in bed. "Careful Y/n/n." Steve scolds me as he shoots to his feet to help adjust my pillows. "I told them to go." He admits and I look at him with a frown. "Not like that. But they have not left your side since you were brought in. They weren't looking after themselves and if they are going to help you through your recovery, they need to be at 100%" He explains but I just scoff.
"I don't need their help with my recovery. They didn't care before I was hurt, they don't get to care now." I groan. Steve takes his seat again and looks at me with his, "I know I'm right" look. "Y/n. I know you don't believe it, but they do care for you. They were cut up when you got hurt. They were devastated that they wouldn't have the chance to be able to make things up to you." He says. I roll my eyes, but he continues. "Look, I'm not saying you have to forgive them. But you can't question how much they have cared for you over the last few days."
"Fine, but I'm not going back to their place to recover." I huff, folding my arms. "Considering you've been shot and in a medically induced coma for the last few days, it's good to see it hasn't affected your attitude." Steve teases.
We sit in silence as I think about my parents. They surely can't think that just because they've been sat beside my bed whilst I've been hurt is going to make up for everything that they have done over the years? Who's to say that they won't go back to how they were once I'm healed? I have a place at Sheild now. Somewhere that I can make a name for myself and create my own family.
"I'm sorry I messed up the mission." I break the silence, my mind now moving on to the fact I failed at my first mission. "You didn't fail anything kiddo. We were set up. If anything, I should apologise to you. They were after me, but you were the one to get hurt. You did a great job of take on as many agents as you did." He explains, taking my hand in his. "You fought, and it's because of your skill and ability that you're alive. You impressed everyone." He assures me, running his thumb over my bruised knuckles.
Our moment is broken when my moms walk back in. "You're awake!" Mom says excitedly as both her and mama move into the room quickly. Steve moves back from my side, which I frown at as mama takes my hand in hers. I'm quick to pull it away. The hurt that flashes across her face doesn't go unnoticed, but I'm not in the mood to pretend like everything is ok right now.
"How are you feeling?" Mom asks, appearing to my left. "I'm fine." I respond shortly, receiving a warning raised eyebrow from Steve. "Are you in pain? I can get the nurse to come in and get you some pain killers." Mom fusses. "I'm fine." I repeat the same words. "That's not true, you've been wincing since you've woken up." Steve rats me out. Traitor. "If a 40 calibre bullet went through you, I'm sure you'd be wincing too." I snap. "Told you. Amazing how your attitude hasn't changed." Steve chuckles.
However, both my mom's look at me with worried looks. "I'm going to get Dr Cho. You look pale." Mom worries before rushing out the room.
Mama reaches forward and places her hand on my head, which I quickly try and move away from her touch. "You're hot. I hope you're not running a fever." She states. "Like you care." I mumble, but she hears it and that look of hurt appears on her face again. "Look Y/n. I know you believe that we don't care or love you. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I want nothing more than to talk to you about it and start to make up for everything. But right now, all that matters is your recovery. You can hate us and ignore us or yell at us, but we are not going anywhere." She states firmly, her eyes locked on to mine. I just roll my eyes and turn to look at Dr Cho who has walking into the room.
She checks me over and I notice the frown on her face. "What's up?" I question. "I'm worried about your temperature. I want to run some tests, but with the inflammation to your incision, I'm worried you've got an infection. It's nothing to worry about as we've caught it early. But we'll need to keep a close eye on you." She replies. "So, no discharge yet then." I huff.
Cho chuckles and looks up from my chart. "It's funny you think you were close even without this infection." She teases. "Aren't you meant to be nice to me? I'm a patient after all." I pout. "If I'm on good behaviour, can I get out early?" I plead. "Maybe in a week. But you'll be on strict bed rest and need to be cared for. You're still technically a minor." Cho breaks the news and I know exactly what she's getting at. "But I'm 18 in like 4 days! Besides, I literally got shot on a mission for Shield. Surely that's enough?" I argue.
"Y/n, you are going to struggle to walk, let alone be able to properly look after yourself. Even after you're 18, you'll need support during your recovery. It isn't a simple road ahead for you." Dr Cho returns. "So, what are you saying?" I get straight to the point. "I'm recommending that you are discharged to your family. You'll be in the compound so if anything goes wrong, you can get the right medical attention straight away." She explains. "Really? There are no other options. Can't I stay with Steve or something?" I ask but she shakes her head.
"Y/n, come on. It's what is best for you. Your moms will be there to help. I'll be away on missions so can't give you the care you need." Steve speaks up, but soon shrinks back as I glare at him. "Really, what makes you think that I'll get the care I need at home?" I growl, my anger building. "Y/n..." Mama starts but I cut her off. "No! You can't just stand there and act like the caring parents when you have done nothing to back that claim up. I've been the forgotten daughter for years! Slowly I have been pushed out this family and now you want me to just act like everything is ok and trust that you'll look after me?!" I yell, that frustration finally finding its way out.
"Y/n, you need to calm down. Your heartrate is getting too high." Dr Cho tries to calm me down. "Kiddo. You're ok. You need to give them a chance." Steve tries to reason. "A chance like I was given? I've practically raised myself these last few years!" I snap. Why is he suddenly defending them?!
"Please sweetheart. You're going to make yourself sicker. We want to be there for you. We're not denying how badly we've treated you. But I promise that it will never happen again. You'll be safe with us. We just want to be able to care for you and help you get to full health." Mama speaks, her eyes filled with tears. I look between her, and mom and I see that she's almost inconsolable. "Do I have a choice?" I sigh, turning to Cho. "Technically, yes. But physically, you won't be able to follow through with it." She breaks the bad news. Suddenly the sounds of my heart monitor becomes noticeable so I lie back and take a couple of deep breaths. I can feel all their eyes on me, and I let out a sigh. "Fine whatever." I respond. I just need to do everything that Cho tells me so I can heal as fast as possible and move back to Shield and start my life again.
__________
The next few days are not fun. My infection hit me pretty hard, and I spent a lot of time either sweating or freezing whilst fighting the urge to throw up. I hate being stuck in this bed and I just want to be healthy again and being able to go on missions. Before it went south, I was loving it. Even if it was just a small one.
I'm also finding it hard that my mothers are suddenly around all the time. Mama is much better at not smothering me. Mom on the other hand, she is always fussing. But that's her and I used to love it when I was younger, when she actually cared about my wellbeing. "Wands, she's already said she has enough pillows." Mama sighs, her own frustrations growing. "Yes, sorry you did." Mom apologises, slowly putting the pillow down she had in her hands.
"Can I get you anything else? Some food. Though the food here is pretty horrible. When you're back home, I'll make sure to cook you something tasty with the food you're allowed to eat." She starts to ramble. I'm not going to lie, that does sound amazing, and I'd kill for a bowl of paprikash right now. I remember when mom taught me how to cook it. It was one of the last memories I have of us spending quality time together.
I don't realise I'm smiling until I see both my parents looking at me warmly. I quickly shake it off, not wanting to let them think that I'm enjoying this in the slightest. "You know what. A sandwich would be good." I say, taking them both by surprise. I've not been very talkative, but I could do with a break right now. I know I won't be able to get rid of both of them, but I can at least take a break from mom fussing.
"Of course. I'll go and make you something up and bring it down. The bread is always dry here." She speaks, grabbing a couple of things and turning to leave. "Maybe I'll check with Cho if you could have a smoothy." She mumbles, making mama chuckle as she leaves.
I let out a breath of relief. I feel slightly less suffocated. But I am still very aware of mama's eyes boring into me. I'm used to her being quiet. She always observes, making her conclusions before talking when it's necessary. But seeing her now, it feels different. I'm pretty good at reading people and I can tell that she is lost in her own thoughts. I've only seen her like it a couple of times before and it's been after particularly difficult missions. Ones that bring up bad memories for her.
I grab the TV remote and try and find something to watch. I end up with Rizzoli and Isles on. I don't really watch it, but the sound is helping to break the awkward silence. Just after they break the case in the show, I notice mama sit more upright in her seat.
"When I found you in Hydra, I knew instantly that I wanted to help you. There was something about you that melted my heart. When we found out that you had no family to return you to, it wasn't even a question, I knew I was going to adopt you. In that short space of time, I had spent with you, I grew to love you." She starts. I don't look to her, my focus on the TV.
"Even though you had been through so much, you had this happiness around you. You were grateful for everything and found the joy in the smallest thing. I just wanted to give you a life that you deserved. When I married Wanda, I was so happy that I could give you two loving parents." From the corner of my eye, I can see her smile tearily as she picks at the skin around her fingers.
"I failed you Y/n. When I adopted you, I promised that I would be the best parent to you. That you would never want for anything. What's worse, is I never even noticed what I was doing. What we were both doing. I've always prided myself on being able to read people, but I couldn't see the damage I was doing to my own daughter." She continues, pain evident in her voice.
"I wish I could go back in time to change how we acted with you. To include you fully with the twins, to support you in your work in the Shield Programme. To show that even with the boys, you were loved and an integral part of this family. All I can do is apologise and promise that we are not going to let that happen again." She finishes, finally look up to me, a couple of tears falling down her cheeks.
"It's been years. We're not just talking about a couple of months here." I speak up, still not able to lock eyes with her. "Steve became more of a parent for me than the two of you." I admit, and that seems to make mama's heart break a little more. "Is it because I'm not biologically yours and moms?" I ask, my voice shaking.
Mama is quickly to her feet and takes my hand in between both of hers. "No. Of course not Detka, and I will forever hate myself that I've allowed you to think otherwise." She tries to reassure me, a panic in her eyes. "I wish I could give you a reason for why we acted like we did. Initially, it was because we were so focused on the boys, but after that, I have no idea. I wish I could pinpoint why, maybe it would make this all easier. I know you probably don't believe it, but I love you as much as those boys. Blood doesn't matter to me. You are my daughter as much as they are my sons. I know and feel that through every fibre of my body." She expresses. The sincerity is evident in both her voice and facial expressions. "Saying sorry isn't going to fix this. You only knew what you were doing because I called you out on it. Had I not gotten shot, would you have made any effort to rectify what was wrong?" I question her, my anger growing.
"We wanted to. We were planning on taking you to breakfast to talk and work out a way that we could make things right with you. But you had gone, and we couldn't get to you. You have a lot of people at Sheild that love you." She chuckles humourlessly. That is true. Maria is like an aunt to me and her and Fury happily kept my room allocation secret, "Look, I know that we don't deserve your forgiveness, but it doesn't mean that we are going to stop trying." She states firmly.
"It's not that simple mama. I have learnt to live without you now and I've got my own place with Shield. We can both move on with you getting your perfect biological family and I get the career I want." I say, but that only makes mama cry more. "No, our family is only perfect if you are in it too!" She almost shouts, but she's quick to calm herself down. "Look, we've got to live together through your recovery, let's just see how things go after that ok." She proposes. "Fine, but I can't promise anything will change." I respond and she nods. "I know. But I'm going to try everything to earn your forgiveness." She comes back with a newfound confidence.
We fall back into a silence, one that feels more comfortable. Mama looks less stressed, but her brow is still furrowed. When mom returns, the quiet is broken again, despite mama trying to get her to calm down. I try not to smile when she tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I miss this caring side of my parents so much. But for me, it's too little, too late.
Part 3
Taglist: @reggierizzoli @ordelixx @mousetheorist
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sissylittlefeather · 1 month ago
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Kinktober Day 22: Phone Sex
Beautiful Mess
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, SMUT, self-esteem issues
Word Count: ~1.4k
Kinktober Masterlist
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“Honey, you sound different, what's goin’ on?” Elvis's voice in your ear is soft, almost a whisper. You twirl the phone cord in your fingers and look down at your feet. He's always been good at sensing your low moods. 
“Oh, nothin’, Elvis, I'm fine.” You swear you can hear him purse his lips. 
“Bullshit, honey. Somethin’s wrong.” He looks around the room at the other people gathered in his pink and black den at the Fadal’s house in Waco. He's visiting them again while he's at Fort Hood for basic training. This is his favorite place to come when he's feeling homesick, but there's one thing missing every time: you. 
“I just… I don't know why you bother with me, Elvis. You could have any girl in the world. I seem like a waste of-”
“Honey, stop. I'm with you because I love you. I've told you this a hundred times.” You nod, forgetting that he can't see you, and try to figure out how to talk without letting him hear the tears. 
“I know.” You can tell you're unsuccessful by the way he sighs, but he's not bothered. He's just worried. 
“Honey, hang on a second.” He covers the receiver and asks everyone to clear out of the room and close the door on their way out. When he's finally alone, he goes back to you on the phone. In the meantime, you've tried to make the tears stop, but you just can't. “Okay, I'm back.” 
“I'm s-sorry. You're just tryin’ to have fun with your friends and I'm ruinin’ it again.”
“Honey…” The hardest part for him is being so far away from you. Usually when you're like this he can wrap you in his arms and kiss you until you feel better, but you're all the way in Memphis and he's stuck here in Texas. “You're not ruinin’ nothin’. If I wanted to be with them, I wouldn't’ve called you, but I did because I wanna talk to you.”
“Why?” You sniffle and brush the tears off your cheeks. 
“Because I love you and I miss you like crazy. Honey, I'd give anything to have you here with me. You and that cute little ass.” You giggle despite yourself. He's always talking about your ass, or touching it or squeezing it if you're together. Sometimes he even gives it a little slap when you're in bed together. 
“What is your thing with my ass?” You ask, still giggling. He smiles. It worked. 
“It's just so cute! Little and round and mmm. Honey, I wish I could get my hands on it right now.” 
“Yeah? What would you do, if my ass was right there next to you?” He chuckles and your tears start to dry. 
“Well, I'd definitely give it a nice, hearty squeeze. Maybe I'd even bend you over my knee and give it a good spanking.” The image of that makes his pants a little tighter at the crotch and you swallow hard thinking about it. 
“You'd really… spank me?”
“W-would you like that if I did that, honey?” You bite your bottom lip as you feel your center get a little wetter. 
“I think maybe I would. What would you do… after…” Elvis clears his throat and adjusts himself in an attempt to make his erection less uncomfortable. Thankfully, he's alone in the room now and the door is closed, because he starts to consider unzipping his pants. 
“Well, honey, I-I-I’d probably pull your panties down…” He looks at the door and down at himself and then whispers. “What’re you wearin’ right now, baby?” 
You know the switch from honey to baby means his mood has shifted just like yours has. 
“My little silk pjs. The baby blue ones with the white lace and bows that you like.” You know these are his favorite pajamas because he always asks you to wear them when you stay with him. You've been wearing them a lot lately because you miss him so much. 
“Mmmm…” He touches himself gently. “And your panties?” 
“White cotton, just like you like.” He groans softly and your heart speeds up. 
“Why don't you… take your shorts off for me, baby?” You giggle a little. 
“Are you serious?” He smiles and gives his cock a light squeeze. 
“I am, baby. You're in your bed aren't you? And you're alone?”
“Mhmm. Everyone else is asleep.”
“Yeah go ahead and take them off.” He holds the phone with his shoulder and unzips his pants, freeing his aching member into his hand, giving it a couple of slow strokes. 
“Okay…” You set the phone on the pillow and slide your shorts off. Your fingers go to your center and you feel the wet spot on the white cotton between your thighs. “They're off… my panties are… wet…”
He inhales sharply. You've been having sex for a while now, but he's never dreamed of doing anything as dirty as this. 
“Yeah, baby? How wet?” He pulls his lip in between his teeth and strokes himself slowly again. 
“Real wet, baby. Ready for you…” You don't even notice that your hand slips under your panties as your fingers find your clit. “What would you do after you pulled my panties down?”
“I'd… slide my fingers up inside you, move ‘em like you like.” You whimper at the thought and slip your panties off too, spreading your legs as your fingertips rub your clit. He hears your breathing change. “Baby, are you… what are you doing?”
“I'm imagining your fingers.”
“Yeah, but are ya… touching…?” He stumbles over the words. This whole thing is so filthy that he has a hard time comprehending it. Still, his hand pushes his foreskin back and forth over his dick. 
“Mhmm… feels good… are you?” His hand speeds up at the thought of you with your fingers on your pussy. 
“Yeah, baby. Just wishin’ I could lick you, make you cum for me.” You moan softly and move your fingertips faster over your clit. The pleasure starts to gather between your hips and the thought of him with his tongue inside you, pretty lips glistening with your arousal, almost pushes you over the edge. 
“And then… I'd put my mouth on you…” You coo, losing yourself in the fantasy. He groans again deeply as his thumb swipes over the head of his dick and he imagines your warm, wet mouth on him, tongue pressed against his tip, tasting the precum that's started to leak out of him. 
“God, baby, I wanna fuck ya so bad.” He whispers, breathing heavily. You moan and slip a finger into yourself, imagining his hard cock up inside you, so close to your climax you can feel the edges of it. 
“I want that too, baby.” You whimper. He pumps himself more erratically, thinking of your tight, wet pussy wrapped around him as his release builds in his balls.
“Fuck. I'm gonna cum.” 
“Me too, oh god, Elvis!” You try to stay quiet, but fail miserably as your orgasm washes over you, running through your veins like so much lightning as you shudder and pulse on your own fingers. 
“Yeah, baby, cum for me. FUCK.” He shudders and gasps as his release spurts out of him all over his hand and pants. He slows his strokes as his cock throbs and he starts to come back down. 
You lay in your bed sweating and panting, trying to catch your breath. The phone is still pressed to your ear and you can hear Elvis breathing too. 
“Elvis, I'm such a mess. Why do you love me?” Tears threaten to slide down your cheeks again. 
“Honey, you're not a mess. My lap is a mess.” He chuckles. “You're incredible.”
“But doesn't it bother you when I get like this?”
“No, it doesn't. And even if it did, you're worth it. The good things about you are so good that I'll take whatever bad comes with it.”
“Elvis-”
“And I'll spend the rest of our lives telling you that, if you'll let me. I want you here with me, honey. Move to Killeen with my parents this summer and I'll make an honest woman out of ya.”
“Elvis, are you saying what I think you're saying?”
“I didn't really want to do it over the phone like this, but yes. Get that cute little ass of yours on a plane tomorrow and you can have this ring I've been carryin’ around like a fool.” 
“Elvis-!”
“I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll see you tomorrow, honey. I love you.” 
“I love you too, Elvis.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Taglist:
@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @deltafalax @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @jhoneybees @polksaladava @searchingforgravity @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @your-nanas-house @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69
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bigfan-fanfic · 1 month ago
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The Things I Do For You (Male!Reader x Josh Washington)
@inhumanshadows Josh Washington introduces his bf to his friends and sisters at the lodge.
Set of course in an alternate universe where Josh's therapy went far better and the prank never happened!
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His sisters are literally the nicest people in the world, it seems. Hannah's the one with the glasses, you remember.
Both of them were so happy to finally meet you, and instantly treat you like one of the family.
"Josh has been... so much happier lately. So... thank you. For being there for him, cause he tends to clam up around us." Beth smiles.
You grin back at her. "He's been there for me, too. We're a good team."
"That's good."
"You'll need it up here." Hannah says cryptically. Beth just rolls her eyes.
"No drama, Han. This weekend is about Josh and Y/N. Okay?"
Hannah sighs, then smiles. "You're right. I'm sorry."
It feels like some sort of choice has been made, but by then, Josh has returned and mischievously pulled you into a kiss from behind.
He grins at you. "Howdy, pilgrim." He drawls in a terrible cowboy voice.
You push him away lightly. "How dare you. Kissing me the coward's way."
"Well, allow me to try again." He winks, then moves to your front to kiss you again. Hannah mimes a gagging motion, and Beth smacks her arm.
"The others should be arriving soon. Should we just all just hang around and not say anything about Y/N until they freak out?" Hannah asks mischievously.
"You mean gaslight them out of meeting my boyfriend?" Josh laughs. "You up for it, Y/N?"
"Nah, I'm not much for pranks. Besides, you couldn't keep your hands off me for that long."
"Guilty."
Beth chuckles at your easy banter, but then the twins freeze when you look over at Josh. "Did you get your meds yet, babe? I think I heard your alarm go off."
"Oh, shit, you're right!" Josh's eyes widen and he goes to grab them.
Beth looks at you. "Wow. He used to get really sensitive about that."
"He knows I'm looking out for him, and we're just trying to work together on it."
"Well, I'm glad." Hannah grins.
The others arrive, and Josh lets the twins handle the greetings, because he took you down to the boiler to get the hot water working so you could make some tea.
"So, my friends... some of 'em can be a little... hard to handle sometimes. But deep down, we're all in a little love fest." Josh chuckles.
You nod. "They're pranksters, eh?"
"Yeah. I know you don't like em all that much, so I'll try to let em know you're not about practical jokes."
"Thanks." you smile, kissing his cheek.
An impatient text from Hannah recalls you both up from a make-out session in the basement
Emily and her boyfriend Mike are the first to arrive, having given Beth's best friend Sam a ride.
Mike shoots you some finger guns, and Sam offers a hug. Emily seems a little more reserved, but offers you a warm greeting. She makes a little joke about you finally teaching Josh some manners, and offers you some advice.
"Make sure you train them early." She winks. "These boys don't know their heads from a hole in the ground, but they learn quick. First rule: Emily is always right. Second rule, Mike?"
Mike gives her a mock-pout. "Nothing else matters because Emily is always right."
She gives you a little shrug as if to say "See?" before sauntering off.
Jess, Ashley, Matt, and Chris come next, having carpooled, Jess shows off her braided pigtails, claiming she let Ashley braid them in the car. Matt high-fives Josh and lets you know he's "totally supportive of the LGBT community, you know?"
Chris pretends to stand off with you. "So, you're the other man, huh?"
Jess giggles. "I always knew you two had a thing, Chris!"
"What? I meant, like, platonic versus romantic and-"
"Chris is jelly!" She sings, and Chris chases after her as she chants it through the lodge.
"I hope you're doing okay. Lots of meetings all at once - I'd be freaking out." Ashley chuckles, and shakes your hand.
It's lucky you're there - it's one of the last times here at the lodge for them before they all go off to college and start the next phase of their lives.
You suspect that had they not all been on their best behavior out of support to their friend, someone would've caused some huge drama.
But as it is, Josh refuses to drink cause it messes with his meds, so Mike and Chris decide to polish off a bottle in his honor - meaning Mike passes out with Chris halfway into the night and thus instead of Hannah making a move and Emily and Jess starting a retaliatory prank, the group has more of a chill game night vibe.
Josh gets clingy when the sun goes down and demands cuddles.
"The things I do for you," you playfully sigh, and the two of you settle under a blanket in front of the TV.
The gang easily pivots to putting on a movie and falling asleep, the snow falling peacefully outside.
And far across the mountain, the ancient things remain contained, another year kept at bay.
You never do get back up to the lodge. But even if a lot of Josh's friends move on after that, his sisters become your lifelong friends, and you know that Josh and you are gonna be something good...
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sanguineterrain · 1 year ago
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Hi I’m back because couples who aren’t together just yet are EVERYTHING
And the new theme?? The icon?? Sanne 😍
May I request “you matter so much to me” with Dick? A little angsty if you’re feeling it?
hey there!!! thank you hehe i felt it was time for a theme change bc fall ❤️ hope you like it! thanks for sending a request 🥰
dick grayson x gn!reader. tw: reader is injured but not much description of the injury, mention of bombing, dick being a protective sweetheart, love confession.
****
You're probably being paranoid.
You probably don't need to call Dick. He'll definitely be busy right now. And you call him way too much as it is.
Wally had asked last month if you two were dating, which had been a humiliating conversation, so you've been vigilant about not clinging to Dick so much. You're just friends. That's all you'll ever be.
These two guys at the train station are really freaking you out, though. What do all the posters say? See something, say something?
You take a deep breath and dial.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Dick," you say tentatively.
"Hey!" Dick says, sounding slightly breathless. "Hey, how are you? I've missed you, what have you been up to?"
The smile in his voice makes you ache. Fuck. You should've just called an Uber.
"Hey. I'm okay. Sorry for not calling, I've been, uh, swamped at work."
"That's okay. It's nice to hear from you."
You melt. "It's nice to hear from you, too."
One of the guys across the station tosses a duffel bag inside of a storage closet and closes the door, then locks it. Right. Back to why you called.
"Dick, I think these two guys at the train station might be up to something. I could be wrong! I-I'm probably wrong, but—"
"What are they doing?" he asks, and you can hear him shifting to Nightwing Mode.
"They threw a duffel bag into a closet, but they don't look like workers. And—"
One of them lifts his coat, and you see a holstered gun. Shit.
"Oh my God," you whisper. "One of them has a gun."
"Get out of there," Dick orders. "I'm on my way. I'll pick you up. Meet me on the corner of Mason and Jewel."
"Okay," you say, heartbeat rabbiting. "Okay, um, Mason and Jewel. Got it."
"It'll be okay," he says, a little gentler this time. "I won't let anything happen to you, alright? Go somewhere where there's a lot of people, and stay on the line."
You take a deep breath. "O-okay. I trust you."
You head for the stairs when the ground rumbles under your feet. People begin to shout and you run faster, trying to make it out of the station.
"What's happening, honey? Talk to me," Dick urges.
You hardly register the honey in your panic.
"The ground's shaking. Dick—"
Something knocks into your back and you crumple to the floor, phone falling from your hand. Everything goes black.
****
You open your eyes to blackness, and for a moment, you're afraid you've lost your sight. But then the shadows become clearer, and you can make out distinct, albeit dimly lit, shapes.
You try to form a word but the air has been sucked out of your lungs and it sounds more like a wheeze.
The surface beneath you is soft and firm. There's a blanket over your shoulders.
You rasp out a sound that's an attempt at 'hello.' Your lips are cracked, and your throat feels like you chugged cement.
A hand rests on your forehead. You try to sit up.
"Easy, easy. Don't try moving just yet."
Dick is in his Nightwing suit, but the mask is off. You blink at him slowly. You'd almost forgotten how blue his eyes are.
"Can you tell me your birthday?" he asks, continuing to stroke your face.
You tell him your birthday. Your throat feels like sandpaper, and a straw is pushed to your lips. You drink the water greedily.
"Wha' happ'd?" you ask.
"There was a small bomb. Half the station collapsed." Dick sucks in a deep breath and seems to steel himself. "You, um, you hit your head pretty hard. I found you and brought you back to the Batcave. I want to monitor you overnight just in case."
Your eyes widen. "Batcave?"
Dick smiles. "The one and only. I'll give you a tour later."
You frown. "Shouldn't you be out there?"
"Oh." Dick rubs his neck. "Well, uh, the others have got it pretty much covered. But I can give you space, if-if you're tired or something. Uh, Alfred's upstairs if you need anyth—"
You shake your head. "Not kicking you out, Dickie. Just don't wanna keep you from important stuff."
Dick leans in, looking at you intently.
"You're important."
You smile and look away, belly swooping at his seriousness.
"Oh. Thank you, Dick."
"I mean it," he says fiercely, then swallows. "You are... you're one of the most important people in my life. You matter so much to me. I should've said so earlier, and I guess today was the kick in the pants I needed."
You turn to him, eyes wide. "What are you saying?"
Dick slips his hand into yours, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.
"Every day, I see how fragile life is," Dick says. "Witnessed it for myself, too. I can't—I don't want to pretend that I don't care about you as much as I do. That I don't wish we were more. And if you don't feel the same way, then that's okay, but I needed to say something before—"
"Dick," you murmur.
He stops. "Yeah?"
"Kiss me."
He blinks once, twice, then wastes no more time. Dick cups your jaw with both hands. It's almost overwhelming, the way Dick Grayson kisses you like you're the only person in the universe.
His hair is just as soft as you imagined, and you tangle your other hand in it, massaging the base of his neck. Dick makes a quiet whine in the back of his throat, and you hungrily swallow the sound.
"Ahem."
You flinch apart, and Dick covers his mouth. He glances at you through his lashes, and the look promises that he's not finished with you.
All excitement about said promise self-destructs when you see Batman standing ten feet away. Even under the cowl, he looks unimpressed.
"Nightwing," he says. "Taking care of our patient?"
Oh God. You're never setting foot in Gotham again.
"Excellent care," Dick says, apparently used to Batman's cheek.
"Hn. I expect a report of the station incident tomorrow."
"Of course. Do you need me out there?"
"No. It's handled." Batman looks at you. "You are welcome to join us for dinner."
He swooshes away with a truly unnecessary jump into the Batmobile. You wait until he's gone before groaning and putting your face in your hands.
"Oh my God, I just made out with you in front of Batman. I can never face him."
Dick pulls you into his arms, kissing your temple.
"Are you kidding? He basically just welcomed you into the family. I knew he'd like you."
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ageingfangirl2 · 1 year ago
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Surprise Me! Mihawk (OPLA)
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y/n is a new assassin who catches the eye of Mihawk. She thinks her past is private but the warlord knows a lot about her and wants to talk. Part 2 to Fight Someone Your Own Size.
Part 1
Y/N
After your encounter with the warlord Dracule Mihawk, you decided to skip town. He had an infamous reputation and it wasn't wise to get on his radar for good or bad reasons. You had a past, a bloody past that led you to skip from town to town until you landed in the last town and actually felt safe until those stupid guys had to attack you in the alley. You were a trained killer, a fresh one at that, which is how you garnered a leave me alone kind of reputation. The reason you never settled down was the fear of being hunted down for what you did.
You were an orphan, a scrappy one at that, fast and light-fingered, which is how you gained the attention of your former master. He took you in when you were ten, housed and fed you, training you to kill those who wronged others while giving you an education you wouldn't have gotten on the streets. You owed him everything, but you couldn't give him everything he wanted.
If anyone did come looking for you those men from the alley knew your face, it was a rookie move leaving them alive, you had to go back. They wouldn't sell out Mihawk, no one would believe them but they would throw you under a cart to save their own skin.
You return to town at night, grabbing your knives and scouting each of the men's homes. It was simple after that, breaking in and killing each of them with a single sliced throat. Now you could leave town without fear of being exposed.
However, that was really short-lived as you're stopped in your tracks by a familiar voice that sent shivers down your spine, 'huh...'
You gulp and dare to look up from his bare chest to meet his piercing eyes, '...what?'
He watches you intensely, like a rabbit he had caught in a trap and wasn't sure what to do with it next, 'nothing, I just didn't know you had that in you. You also don't seem like the type to come back to the same town twice y/n.'
This makes you laugh, 'the fact you think you know anything about me at all, is genuinely hilarious.'
You go to step around him but he continues to block your path, 'your real name is y/n l/n, your parents died in a house fire when you were five but it wasn't an accident. Your father abused your mother and she snapped when he forced himself onto you so set the fire. You lived on the streets for five years before being taken in at age ten by a man calling himself David. And for the next eight years, he made you into a killer. But now he's dead and you're all alone again,' he lists off your life story blankly.
Your hand goes for a knife, 'you knew David? Are you going to kill me because I killed him?'
'You think you killed him y/n? What do you remember?' Mihawk asks, intrigued by you.
'Before you saved me in that alley I've seen your face before but I can't remember where. Do I know you?' you answer his question with your own question.
Mihawk inhales loudly, clearly annoyed that you weren't answering him, 'I like people to follow my orders. When I ask you a question you'll answer. But I'll let it slip just this once y/n, now tell me about that night.'
You click your tongue and bow your head, 'not much, it's all a bit of a blur. He tried to come onto me and I must have snapped remembering my father because next thing I know he's dead.'
You shudder, remembering vividly the night David put his hands on you and got angry when you refused. If you didn't submit to him he was going to kill you, so you had to fight back.
MIHAWK
I do the unthinkable and pull y/n into me watching the wheels turn in their head, 'we met briefly when you were eleven, I was curious what David saw in you. We then met for a second time when you were eighteen. I believe men should show honour and respect women, so when I saw him on top of you I killed him, you passed out and I left.'
y/n looks up at me, and through their emotions, I see further, I see hunger and drive, 'what happens now Mihawk?'
'You're still not ready to be out on your own so you're coming with me and I'll finish your training. You don't have any say in the matter because now you owe me your life,' I state, and y/n nods.
y/n then motions around them, 'any more loose ends to tie up?'
I shake my head, 'All taken care of, now let's go.'
I place my hand on y/n's back and guide them into the shadows. They continued to surprise me, and with my training, everyone was going to fear them.
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mollymauk-teafleak · 9 months ago
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Omg can we please have more huskerdust babies?? I’m thinking all the things! Possibly more things during the pregnancy? I love the idea that when the hotel is attacked by the monster of the week, Angel gets pissed that they basically have Nifty babysit him ha. Or angsty stuff like, maybe Heaven has taken note that there’s been innocent souls born and they want to take them?? Omg so many thiiiiiings I love this lil world you created <3
Oh my god I absolutely Adore this ask, these are all the things I love talking about the most! <3 I'm so glad you like the AU!
God I love the idea that Angel Dust is very unimpressed at being benched from fights, bitching about it to the point where Charlie has to give him a list of pregnancy dos and don'ts with 'gunfights' on the don't list along with drugs, alcohol and tuna. Nifty gets assigned as his bodyguard whenever they are under attack but her job is far more often to keep him in his room. More than once, Husk has come back to find that Nifty had to pin Angel's jacket to the floor with her knife
Angel is Suffering with two very hyperactive, multi limbed, winged kittens inside him, especially when he's trying to sleep. And he discovers that the only thing that really gets them to settle is the sound of their daddy's rattling, rumbling, car-with-a-busted-exhaust purr. Which leads to many nights where they're curled up in bed and Angel Dust will sleepily give Husk a shove and mumble 'your kids are awake'. Husk knows it's his cue to roll over, shuffle down until his forehead is pressed to Angel's belly and purr loudly until the little ones settle back into sleep. Usually he'll stay there, Angel's fingers stroking through his fur, telling their babies to be nice to their pops, he's doing such a good job taking care of you and keeping you safe. Angel gets to drift back asleep listening to his voice and his purr and feeling so warm and safe
Cravings hit Angel at the weirdest times, often Husk will wake up at 2am with his side of the bed empty but he knows all he has to do is stumble down to the kitchen and his spider will be there, singing to himself and making some pasta dish he remembers his Nona making when he was alive. Husk just presses a sleepy kiss between his shoulders and gets himself on busboy duty. If he's lucky he'll get some leftovers.
Angel Dust does struggle a lot with how Different he looks when he's pregnant, just because he takes so much pride in looking a certain way and he's spent his whole afterlife being told that looking hot and having people want to fuck him is all he's good for. So when he starts showing, there's a few days where he just retreats to his room, under the blankets and doesn't really want to see anyone. Husk understands and doesn't make him feel stupid for feeling that way but he will wait until Angel wants to let him in then get under the covers with him. He promises that he's as beautiful to Husk as he's ever been, he can't believe he gets to be with someone who looks the way he does and, honestly, he's struggling to keep his hands off him most of the time. It does make Angel feel better and he gets to wear his comfier clothes now and gets used to looking at himself in a different way.
And then his hormones hit. Literally no one in the hotel sees them for about a week, Charlie goes up to see if they're okay, hears the noises coming from their room and bolts back downstairs with a bright red face like '....yeah, they sound like they're doing good'. When Husk eventually does emerge, to get some water, he's limping and holding his back, groaning that he's too old for this...
When they're born, as soon as they're able to wobble about on their many limbs, the spider kitties get Terrible zoomies. Half the time there's just these black and pink blurs zipping around the hotel, tumbling into each other and nearly knocking things over. It's good reflex training for everyone in the hotel making sure nothing gets smashed
and it is SO interesting that you mention this whole business with heaven as that is absolutely a part of this AU I came up with!!!! It's long enough to pretty much deserve it's own post but I am so delighted that your brain also went there because mine did too!!
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iouinotes · 10 months ago
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Heroic Betrayal | Luke Castellan (part 1)
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SPOILER FOR THE PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS SERIES AND THE BOOKS
pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader
show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
warnings: dark!character, betrayal, implied sexual content, heavy angst, kidnapping
word count: 5,8k
summary: When Luke switches to the dark side, he tries everything possible to win you for him.
a/n: so as the show comes to an end (dont cry dont cry dont cry), I thought I would finally post this :)))
read part 2 here
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"I'll find you!" his voice echoes through the forest, my laughter much louder than I intend to. But that´s just how it always goes. It's our own little tradition.
Every year when the camp starts again and we meet after the holidays passed, we play hide and seek in the dangerous forest of the half-blood camp. The creatures usually don't come across our path, in recent years it has rarely happened, that we actually had to defend ourselves against them.
Once it was an angry dryad, who threw branches at me (she had a crush on Luke and wanted revenge, but since I could understand her feelings and felt sad for her, we sorted it out).
Another time we were spotted by some camp members, who made fun of us, but Luke must have said something to them later, because we haven't been bothered by these troublemakers since.
It is always the same pattern, but each time there is still something special about it. We have grown, became more mature (I think), and have more and more experience about the struggles in life.
So being able to just let go for a few moments and being completely alone with him is probably the best thing to keep myself sane (even if he drives me a little bit crazy with the love I hold for him).
But a lot has changed recently.
It all started when rumors spread, that Zeus' lightning bolt had been stolen by Poseidon's son. And then the most supportive, bravest, sassy kid in the world showed up here. Percy Jackson. Ever since I met him, even though it's not his fault, there's been war going on. The gods are angry, the monster attacks became worse and again, rumors about the oldest, most powerful titan Kronos reached the camp.
It scared and frightened many people, including me. That's why we've been training harder and stay awake, even when the stars are shining, so that we can prepare for any catastrophe. To be able to fight.
My mother is the goddess Demeter, my father a simple man. I adore them both, even though my mother isn't one of my closest contacts. But I never really held that against her, because at least she decided to acknowledge me as her daughter. After all, it's a privilege that not everyone gets. My siblings and friends at camp are important to me, but the world is changing and so is everything around it.
The only stability I have left is my boyfriend Luke.
If I had to rely on one person in the whole world (and by that I also mean the underworld), it would be him.
He's been my best friend since I arrived at this camp. We've been together through ups and downs, I know every side of him and he knows everything about me too. Many of the people here are like blank pages to me, but not him. He is like my favorite book, that lays open to me and allows me to read each letter individually. Just as I know every of his dreams, every secret, every truth and every lie. He is my protector, my hero in every dark night and every bright day. Without him, I don't even know who I am. He is a part of me and my heart wouldn't be whole without him.
I watched him grow up. From the small, thin boy whose eyes hid so much pain and sadness to the strong, soulful leader he is today.
His beauty cannot be influenced by anything, he is like my very own sun, without him I could not survive.
I wouldn't want it any other way though.
Now, I'm hiding behind a tree with my back pressed against the bark and I am able to hear the cracking and swinging of the branches.
I smile so wide, that my cheeks start to hurt, when I hear his voice calling. My heart is beating in my throat, but it's not just the adrenaline of not getting caught. It's because of my love for him, which is so strong that sometimes I'm afraid of it. But only in the moments when I realize that nothing, but him is my biggest flaw. I think I would do anything for him.
Then I concentrate again and listen to the sounds around me. But his voice has fallen silent and I don't hear his footsteps anymore.
My eyebrows furrow, confused I try to look around the tree and search for an orange t-shirt. Likely together with his slim body, biceps, beautiful face and wonderful personality.
But when I want to withdraw again, it's already too late. A branch breaks behind me and before I can move I'm pushed against the tree from behind.
I immediately feel his body against mine, hear the laughter in his voice and listen to his strained breathing. His hands wrap around my body and turn me towards him, so that we are now face to face.
He's taller than me and as I look up, I feel the familiar fluttering feeling in my chest. I am so in love with him.
He grins triumphantly at me and I lean against the tree, smiling kindly.
"Found you, princess." The light reflects in his brown eyes and some of his curls are laying wildly on his head. He looks like an angel.
"I made it easy for you." My voice teases him and when he leans in so close to me, that our lips almost touch, I forget how to think properly. A habit I can't change. He's just so captivating.
"Yeah? You think I wouldn't have found you otherwise? Funny. I remember that in the last few years, I always was the winner of our little game." His lips brush mine, I want nothing more than to kiss him. But he knows that, which is why he slowly pulls back, when I start to lean forward.
When I want to complain, he puts his hand around my waist and pulls me into his chest. My knees almost give out, I feel so intoxicated by his presence.
"I-I wanted you to find me." My voice whispers quietly.
His eyebrows rise in mock surprise.
"Then I guess, I can claim my prize without feeling bad." In the next second, his lips are on mine and I'm unable to do anything, other than kissing him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the warmth that radiates from him. He sets my heart on fire.
While pushing me against the tree, I've completely forgotten about, he lets his hands wrap possessively around my waist. Digging his nails into my hips, to keep me grounded. Otherwise, I would probably get lost in those sensations.
Luke kisses in a way, like it's the last time he'll have the chance. (As if I would ever want to keep him from doing that).
He's passionate, my body feels like it's on fire and the heat inside me feels so good, that I want more. I can never get enough of him and he knows it. He grins against my lips, but he doesn't break the kiss. I think he secretely loves knowing how much he can mess with me, with just a few kisses.
My hands find his hair and pull him closer to me, our chests touch and his breathing mingles with mine.
It is wonderful and so precious, I would refuse any gift from the gods just to be close to him.
When he pulls away from me, our bodies are still close. My eyes open and look dreamily into his, our gazes reflect a familiarity and love that is like nothing I have ever experienced.
He smiles at me, pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear and leans himself against me. His fingers stroke the exposed skin of my pulled-up shirt.
"I've missed you." If my heart hasn't melted before, it has now. I give him a kiss on the cheek and hug him, we stand in our embrace for a moment. Enjoying each other's closeness, the calm feeling until the next chaotic situation happens.
"Now we are together again. Only that matters." It's quiet around us and when I close my eyes for the second time, I hear his fast heartbeat. I have to supress a smile.
The wind is the only thing I hear until his voice breaks the silence.
"Something will happen soon. Something big." The peaceful atmosphere is threatened by his words and when I look at his face again, I see his worried eyes.
I sigh, but then nod to agree with him. "I thought about that too, it feels different. Like something is coming our way, that we can't control."
His fingers stroke my cheek and for a moment, his face holds an expression, that I can't understand. It resembles regret.
But before I can ask him about it, he smiles tenderly at me again.
"Nothing will separate us. The world is just a game. It's a matter of time and making the right moves." That is his motto. But I'm not always convinced of this. Even though I trust him to do the right thing.
"I'm just worried we'll get seperated, you know? Evil can be sneaky and traitors always exist. You never know who you can trust." Something I said must have really bothered him, because he looks like I just stabbed him.
This time I ask him about it.
"What's on your mind? You can tell me. Two people who worry about something are better, than one who is alone with it." I take his hand and stroke his skin, it feels cold even though we have summer.
"Nothing, just- I don't want to lose you. I couldn't be here without you. I need you. I mean...I-I love you. You know that I would do anything to keep us together, right?"
His words surprise me. I know he loves me. I can sense that, everyone probably does. But he has never worn his heart on his sleeve and the three magical words only come out of his mouth on special occasions. The fact that he's telling me now surprises me.
"Of course. I trust you. We will survive together, I know that. Are you worried because of the rumors about the Titan King?" This topic is always very critical and he usually doesn't like to talk about it, but this time I decide to address it directly.
"He will come. I just want you to be safe, when it happens." He sounds so confident it gives me goosebumps.
"Perhaps. His followers will definitely try. But love is stronger than anything else. Especially our love. We will get through it." He doesn't look convinced, so I turn his face towards mine and kiss him.
My voice sounds soft, when I speak again.
"Luke, I love you. I could never leave you. Not even the King of the Underworld will be able to keep us apart. I promised to be by your side in every moment of our lives. You are my soul and without it I am damned."
This seems to reassure him, but I feel like he's not telling me something of great importance. But I don't want to push him, I know he will tell me when the time comes.
He always does.
⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️
As the day comes to an end, I say goodnight to my siblings and report for my night watch duty. The situation has been a lot more worse the recent weeks. Kronos exists, my worst fear was confirmed. And he is building an army, that is so strong that it will be difficult to fight against it. But what I'm really worried about are the rumors about our people, who have also joined his cause.
Nobody knows who, the spies have been hiding ever since. I've never felt like I was paying more attention to my words than I am now. The only person I don't have to hold back to is Luke.
But even with him I notice the effects of the bad news. The circles under his eyes are darker than ever and his nerves are so frayed, that every little thing makes him want to explode. His temper is hanging by a thread, that is increasingly threatening to break. And I'm trying everything to prevent this.
No matter if I try it by making him laugh (which has become difficult), massaging his tense shoulders, trying to kiss him to the point of forgetfulness (usually it's the other way around) or when he takes out his frustration by burying himself deep inside me. With every thrust of his hips, I feel him relax, his hand so tight around my body as if I would run away, if he didn't hold me close enough.
He's changing and I'm trying my best to maintain his good sides. That he doesn't completely lose himself in his responsibilities and the pressure, that he has, because he is a member of the camp council.
Besides, I can't complain, when he fucks me until I can't breathe aynmore and I block out everything around me. When he comes, he whispers the sweetest things in my ear. Even if sometimes they sound so protective, that I could almost come from his voice alone.
When he whispers to me how good I am for him or how much he loves being able to have such a power over me like that - maybe it should scare me, but I trust him like no one else.
My mind concentrated his best for my shift, but when I finally go to bed after quiet some time, my eyes quickly close.
Looking back, I wish I had never let myself sleep that night.
Because, when I close my eyes I see waves. Hear the seagulls screaming in the sky, the fish swimming in the water and the distant cries of strangers.
It's all unusual and the bright light would blind me, if I didn't avert my gaze. And as soon as I do it, I see a ship. It's huge, rust shimmers in the sunrays, the anchor shows that it's been in the same place for a while now.
I feel something pulling me towards it, pushing and burning in my chest, leaving me with a tremor that I can feel, even in my deep sleep.
As I flit through the window like a ghost, I feel paralyzed. My blood freezes, I want to disappear immediately and in my mind I scream at myself to wake up.
But it's no use, whatever is here, someone decided that I have to see it. Only then, my wish will be fulfilled and I can wake up. So, I hide in a corner, there are scratched picture frames above me and broken glass is scattered on the floor. The monsters that loudly crush the glass ahead of me seem unstoppable.
I tremble as I look at at least seven dracaenae, several shaggy hellhounds and set my eyes on gigantes, that take up almost the entire room.
But that is nothing compared to the terror, that grips me when I see my classmates. My friends. People I trusted, who I fought alongside, for who I cared about. People I would have sacrificed myself for. They all betrayed me. And I feel close to tears. When I want to turn away, I hear a voice that almost brings me to my knees.
It's Luke.
My faithful and caring protector, my heroic love. Someone, to which I had dedicated everything. He was my life, with every single breath I took. The motivation behind my every action. The reason I wanted to survive in this cruel world. He was everything I had and everything I will ever have and in that moment it was abruptly taken from me.
I didn't have the strength to concentrate, it was as if every fiber of my body was on fire, triggered by the torment of my suffering heart. Seeing him like that, in black armor, Kronos' silver mark glittering around his neck, instead of his colorful necklace. A stoic, hostile expression on his face, his hands gripping his sword, it all hurt too much to watch.
And as I sank to the floor and covered my eyes with my hands, I was still forced to listen. I couldn't understand why he was saying such things.
"With every day he becomes stronger, with every participation in our army, we become stronger. Everything is planned, the camp is weak. Just like all of its residents. The surprise is on our side, because we will show no mercy. We will kill anyone, who does not confess to us. Do you hear me? No hostages will be taken. Only Hades population will be expanded."
The screams around me are so loud, so angry and horrific that I feel tears running down my cheeks.
I don't want to see any of that. The person infront of me is not my Luke.
A kind of fog creeps around me and I feel cold, it seems too late to forget it now. When I notice the golden coffin and Lukes hunched posture, the scar on the side of his face, I realize he is praying to him.
To the fall of Olympus. Kronos.
I want to cry, to scream, to be angry - but I just feel like every part of my heart is breaking and will never be whole again. Luke will never again be the one to heal it.
My consciousness leaves the ship until I finally wake up, but I can't move at first. I feel lost, my muscles are stiff and after a few seconds I notice that I'm shaking. But it's not because I'm cold, the summer air is wafting in the air.
Such dreams are rare, but are like the own scary predictions of the future.
And then it comes all back so me, the memories, that have just turned my whole life upside down. Traitor. The word appears in my mind, I feel like I almost can't breathe. And then there is a finger on my cheek, gently stroking the skin and my chest immediately becomes warm.
I know this gesture.
When I open my eyes, I see his loving eyes and the smile that covers his mouth makes my heart clench in sorrow.
It was just a nightmare. Luke would never betray me.
But the whispers in my head say otherwise.
As we continue to look at each other in silent, I notice his furrowed eyebrows.
"What's wrong, my love? Did you have a nightmare? You look scared. Don't be afraid, I'm here. I will always protect you." His voice is so calm, so usual loving and it makes the butterflies in my stomach fly around like crazy.
He is so beautiful.
As he briefly turns his head to tighten the blanket around me, I see his side profile and the scar. Reminders of my dream crash onto me like a lightning strike from Zeus himself.
I sat up abruptly. Luke is a servant of our enemy. How could I ignore that? I feel like I'm almost starting to hyperventilate. The thought, this nightmare, Luke's appearance, this evil feeling - it makes me sick. And I'm suddenly so afraid, more than I have ever been in my life. But I can't tell if it's the fact that I just found out he joined Cronos' army or that he broke my heart doing so.
I see him tense, my panic seems to be affecting him too.
My thoughts are so confusing, I don't know what to do, I have to tell someone. I have to-
His hands find their way to my cheeks, cupping them gently to direct his gaze towards himself. I would have preferred not to look at him, but I have no choice. His eyes search mine.
Then, as if the weight of Atlas punishment was put on his shoulders, he lowers them. His lips tremble slightly and his eyes look at me, as if I am the most valuable thing in the world and he is about to lose it.
"You know it." He doesn't have to say what he means by that. We both know.
I want to break away from him, but he won't let me. He's always been much stronger.
But everything still feels so different, light surrounds us and I can't really feel my body.
"Listen to me, please. I can explain it. Please-" The world goes silent, before he can finish his sentence.
It is too much.
I stifle a scream. I want to jump out of bed, but his hands hold me close. I only manage to fall to the ground, breathing heavily, but his arms are much stronger and I'm still weakened by my dream. He trys to hold me in a position, so that his back hugs me. His hands grab mine and one of them covers my mouth to silence me, when I want to scream for help.
With any other person, I would have known what to do. With anyone but him, I could have defended myself without any problems. But it wasn't just anyone and what he had done to me, the betrayal he had committed, was nothing I could handle.
I tried to wriggle out of his grip, to kick him, but the more I cried and the more hysterical I became, the easier it was for him to have control over me.
And for the first time, it scared me.
"Please calm down, I have to explain it to you- you have to know, that I never wanted to deceive you, please-" I notice how his voice is failing and he has to pull himself together, to not to lose his composure.
When I shake his hand away and want to yell again, he grabs my neck with such a warning force, that no sound escapes me.
I tremble in his hold. Tears stream down my cheeks and I literally feel my heart breaking.
Then he starts whispering in my ear and his grip feels like a tragic prison.
"Nobody can know. I never wanted you to find out. Not until I convinced you, that it is the right thing to join him. Because he will win, sweetheart. I want us to win by his side." His voice sounds so confident and at the same time, as if he was a completely different person.
Tears continue running down my face and he slightly let's go of me, so he can comfort me.
"If you would just listen to me, you will understand my actions. Please, just listen to me-" but the world blurs infront of my eyes and I am only able to whisper three words, before darkness surrounds me.
"You betrayed me."
⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️
When I wake up, my head hurts so much, that it takes me several minutes to open my eyes. When I finally do it, I almost have a heart attack.
I recognize the similarity of this room from my dream. When I stand up, I run to the round window and look out, being only able to see the blue sea. Feeling empty and alone.
When I want to step out the door, I expect it to be locked. But instead the handle turns and I step out of the room. I'm so surprised about that, that I'm acting without thinking twice.
As I walk around the next corner, the deck creaks and I see an ugly creature in front of me, that makes every instinct to escape kick in.
I run in the other direction, but every turn makes me more desperate and, without any consideration, I run into the hall, I was so afraid of.
It is filled with all kinds of ciders, and I also see the figures of my classmates, wounded and unhappy.
It's all so overwhelming, that I dont even see him standing on the podium, in the first place.
But as the monsters try to grab me, his voice echoes through the room with an affable authority.
"Nobody touches her. You hear me? Nobody. She is under my protection." I almost freeze into a stature, as he comes towards me and I have no way of avoiding him. No weapon is within my reach, his eyes notice my growing panic.
"Everyone leaves the room. Now." Nobody discusses it, even if some roll their eyes or quietly protest. His authority is unquestioned, it sends a cold shiver down my spine.
When the last doors slam shut, we stand a few meters opposite each other.
"The doors are guarded." It's the first thing he says.
When he tries to approach me, I lose my nerves and run to the corner with the broken glass, that I saw in my dream. I take them in my hands.
I see his eyes widen and he stops in his tracks.
"You- you want to fight me?" He actually sounds surprised and sad. Like I was the one who betrayed him and not the other way around.
"Don't come any closer. I may not have been able to do anything last time, but if you take one step closer then-" I don't know what to say. In no scenario did I ever think, I would have to threaten him.
But despite my warning, he comes towards me with his hands raised, the panic within me so palpable, that I can feel every muscle in my body.
I dodge, when he is only a few meters in front of me. Right into the next corner. As far away from him as possible.
"Princess, you can't keep me away forever. I've always loved that about you. You need me as much as you need to breathe."
It's supposed to sound sweet, but his words make me feel sick
"I'd rather suffocate." He didn't expect that. My words hit him so unexpectedly that he is almost speechless. Almost.
"I won't hurt you. You just have to let me get to you and I'll show you everything. You will understand, believe me." He really thinks, I'll just stay by his side and let him explain.
"Are you crazy? You're a traitor, Luke. You- you betrayed everyone. You betrayed me. How could you do this?" I suppress my tears, because that's exactly what he's waiting for. That my defense becomes weaker. I can't allow this.
"You dont understand. I always told you I would protect you. And I can only do that, if I'm on the winning side. And I am now. We are." His eyes flash with a craziness that makes me tremble. I don't recognize him.
"Why are you acting this way? You are doing the wrong thing - you give up everything. You're giving up on us." Tears leave my eyes and I see him take a few steps in my direction.
"I'm doing the right thing for us. You'll see. You just have to trust me, please. You know I always win. With the power he gives me, I will be invincible. You don't have to worry about one of us dying in this war anymore." I can't move, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have a way out now. He's too close.
"You are wrong. I would rather die in this war than join this monster and his deceitful army." The shards in my hand hurt, but I don't let them go. They're the only thing I can use to defend myself.
"You would leave me?" His eyes are staring into my soul.
"Would you fight me?" Every word is more intimidating.
"Would you stop loving me?" His words are like his own shards, leaving deep wounds in my heart.
He's standing right in front of me now, looking at me like I'm fragile.
Then he whispers "Would you kill me?"
In the next second, he suddenly has my hands in his, making me drop the glass. Be is only a few centimeters away from me now, his eyes are looking into my own.
"Would you, princess? Then show me." Suddenly he does something, I would have never expected. He takes out his sword and puts it in my hands.
His own hands go behind his back, his eyes tempting me. I feel all the blood in my body drain.
"Do it. I can't live in a world, where you don't love me anymore. In which you are no longer by my side. I am yours. That will never change, just like my love for you."
I can barely hold the sword, it's so wobbly in my hands. He stands in front of me and gives me every chance to defeat him. But I can't move.
It's quiet for a moment, then I see new hope in his eyes and when he speaks again, the tone of his voice melts my heart.
"What did you say a few months ago, you would always let me win? Let's win together this time. Please, just listen to me." His hand strokes my cheek. Wipes away the tears.
Then he drops his hand and grasps his sword, letting it fall to the ground.
He takes my hand instead.
"Follow me." He pulls me behind him, closer and closer to the golden coffin, it's like I'm in a trance, but when I finally feel the cold aura of something cruel, I'm able to think clearly again.
"No-" I don't want to be one step closer to this thing.
He turns around so quickly, that I can only slap his cheek, before he grabs me again.
"That was for kidnapping me. Let me go now!" I want to avoid his grasp. But again he does something I don't expect.
He holds me still, catches my gaze and then, kisses me so gently that the feeling alone makes me almost completely defenseless. His hands cup my cheeks, grip my hair, hold my body.
This is probably his worst trick. I've never been able to resist one of his kisses. And he knows that. He uses it against me.
Then he murmurs words against my lips, that barely reach my ears.
My heart is pounding in my throat.
"You feel this? We belong together. It is not written anywhere on which side we need to be. As long as we are together." His fingers stroke my lower lip, his figure towers over me and for a moment my surroundings fade. It's almost like always.
But he's not wearing his orange t-shirt, his expression isn't relaxed, and I don't hear any insults from the camp members in the distance.
"You're manipulating me." I am powerless against him. I thought we were on the same team, that no one had more power over the other one. But I was so wrong.
His eyebrows furrow again, and when his hands try to pull me against him, I hit his chest, without thinking, with the only piece of glass I hid in my pocket. But unlike I expected, nothing happens. The shard bounces off his skin and falls loudly to the ground. I can only stare at him in disbelief.
"How-" He just looks at me worried, no anger is visible in his eyes.
"You can't hurt me. I have the curse of Achilles upon me." I suddenly become aware of the effect the lake Styx in the underworld hast and I almost fall to the ground at the realization, my knees weaken.
"That was a test earlier. You wanted to see if I would kill you-" my voice fails.
He just looks at me sadly and smiles in regret. My heart becomes heavy.
"And I knew you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. You would never hurt someone you love. Not if you'd kill me in the process." What can I do? He knows me better than anyone, he can see right through my every thought.
"I can't do this, Luke. I-I can't be together with you, if you are like this." I'm serious, but he doesn't believe me.
"That's what you think, but it's a lie. The sooner you admit it to yourself, the more pain you avoid. Our souls are linked together, without me you are not able to live. I know, that you will continue to love me, no matter what I decide to do. That's how much you love me. You would rather die than not loving me."
I can't listen to him. I can't.
But his eyes are like all the promises in the world. He is my world. How could I ever forget that?
"Please come back with me, Luke. I-I won't tell anyone, but please. Let's go, let's forget everything, please-" I cant deal with this anymore. It's like he's draining all the energy out of me. More with every word, that leaves his lips.
"I can not do that. It will stay the way it is now. Don't fight against me, fight with me. You are so smart and loyal, you will be convinced. He will show you." His eyes now flash with something that frightens me. I see his hunger for power, something that has always been dormant within him.
"Luke, the only thing I ever really wanted was you. No power, no war, no prosperity. Only you. But I'm about to lose you. Don´t do this to me, I beg you." My hands find his face, stroke the skin and I look into his eyes. But they are no longer the same ones I fell in love with.
I never thought he would love having power more than he loves me. It breaks my heart.
"I have decided. Nothing will change about that. Not even your pleadings. I'm sorry." His eyes reflect my desperation.
"What's holding you back? All you need is me." He says it so confident, that I almost wonder, why I don´t agree with him.
But my conscience has always been my greatest strength.
"I won't betray them. I couldn't live with myself, if I did." He takes a step back.
"But you could live without me? You would rather be by Jackson's side than mine?" His words hurt me. But he speaks the truth.
"I love you Luke, more than I ever thought was possible. But just as you put power before me, I put loyalty first. And I'm not sorry about that."
Frustration finally seeps through his perfect facade. I wonder how long he's been playing with me. The thought of it makes everything inside me tighten.
"I am not letting you go. Our fate is set. You will recognize it too and when that happens, you will be on my side."
His conviction frightens me, but this time it doesn't freeze me into a statue. Now, I'm running away.
And luckely, he didn't expect that.
For a few minutes now I've noticed one of the windows, that doesn't look very stable. I just have to jump against it to open it.
"NO!" Luke's voice echoes across the room, loud and warning, but it doesn't stop me. Before he can catch up with me, I jump towards the window, my shoulder hurts, but I was right, it breaks.
But I didn't think about the height difference and I realize it might be too late to do something about it now.
As I try to hold on to the wall outside, two thoughts repeat in my mind.
Either I die or I'm trapped.
Then I hear Luke's voice. He sounds desperate and at the same time angry, like I have never heard him before.
The wall is slippery and it takes every bit of strength in me not to fall, I know it would be my death. I hold on to the broken wall.
"She is outside. Get her back, NOW!" My muscles hurt and I don't know what to do. Then I hear the loud beating of wings. Before I can see who it is, I hear Percy's quiet voice. I feel like crying.
"Drop down, I've got you." I have to trust him. So, I let myself fall without thinking.
Then I feel myself landing on something soft, I hold on to it and my knuckles turn white.
The screams and shouts of the monsters make me tremble, I just want to get out of here. Even if it means, that I perhaps will never see Luke again.
"Come on, now. They'll be here soon." As the wings of the Pegasus move towards the sky, towards freedom, I let the tears fall. The wind is beating around my ears and I can only see in the corner of my eyes that we are getting closer to the clouds.
"I'll find you!"
Luke's threatening voice is the last thing I remember as I close my eyes from the grief of leaving him.
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juniperdugong · 4 months ago
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Hi again!! Thank you for the choso headcanons on finding his little sister, I hope it continues! I was wondering if you could do a multiple headcanons for teen gojo, geto, Shoko and nanami getting an American transfer student to Jujutsu high.
A/N: Yep yep yep, I can do this for sure! +bonus Haibara bc he's my baby
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When an American student transfers to Jujutsu High!
incl: Teen Gojo, Geto, Shoko, Nanami, and Haibara
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GOJO - Nonchalant but curious - The only questions he asks the first couple of weeks are about why they're soooo special that they had to come all the way from America to Japan - Lowkey...jealous, seriously doesn't understand how someone from outside of Japanese Jujutsu Society can be inducted into the school - "Must have some really special technique or some serious skills to be able to make it here...let's test that, huh?" - Get's told off for picking on you, Yaga basically smacking him to get him to stop - Once he finds out they have a few similar interests (*cough cough* Digimon *cough cough*) he's all over them! - Woah when did y'all become so buddy buddy?? - Teaches them Japanese through anime for suresiessss
GETO - Mildly curious but very friendly! - Doesn't poke or prod too much into their life but asks the basic questions - "What's America like? I've never been." - Finds it very interesting that curses don't appear often over there (In this AU I'd like to think this is how he found out about Tengen) - Gets annoyed when Gojo starts hanging around them more...not out of jealousy but because he's extra annoying due to their shared interests now - Spars with them often to give himself a challenge that isn't Gojo's powerful ass - Asks really philosophical questions about their opinion on the Jujutsu World - "Curses are really powerful here, how were they over in America? Wouldn't it be strange if the whole world were filled with sorcerers?" - Get's super invested if they divulge any sort of information about American Jujutsu - "Do you know any other American sorcerers?"
SHOKO - I'm gonna be so real - her reaction depends on if they're more masculine or feminine - If they're more masc leaning she's SO OVER IT! Get her out of this hell hole of testosterone. - 100% wouldn't be bothered in that case either - she has Utahime but other than her, nada - If they're more fem, THANK GOODNESS! - Finally, she has someone else to help her pick out clothes and go shopping with, y'know someone who WON'T drag her to KFC or the nearest game store - "What's trending over in the States right now?" - Would be so intrigued by the American experience but always voices her shock at how different the cultures are - "It's so weird that people don't take off their shoes in the house, how do you guys live like that?"
NANAMI - Not at all interested - Doesn't ask questions and honestly is slightly irritated because the others start asking him questions about if his family is from America - Treats you just as he would anyone else, trains with you, and goes on missions with you occasionally but other than that doesn't try and create any meaningful friendships there - When they start getting close to Gojo he distances himself even more - While on a mission together he asks, "You actually like that guy? Isn't he a bit annoying?" - When they respond with, "He is, but at least he brings a bit of normalcy when I'm far away from home. Nice to find someone who shares a hobby with me" - From then on he would soften a lot toward them, making the smallest effort to connect - "Here, I got these for you. They're from America." (It's Hot Cheetos)
HAIBARA - The most curious and most intrigued - Never runs out of questions to ask and tbh they can get a bit invasive - "Where'd you live? Oh! Why are you here? Oh! Are you on the run or something? Oh oh! Is your technique super crazy good?" - Always tries to drag them into his plans because he doesn't want them to feel left out - Sends encouraging texts every morning - "Good morning! It's Haibara! You did great yesterday! You're Japanese is really improving!" - Would take them out to all his favorite restaurants and introduce them to Japanese snacks and childhood games - If they're ever feeling homesick he's the one to immediately start researching to make them feel better - Makes chicken noodle soup to try and help but doesn't really know how :/ Ends up putting ramen noodles in it
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A/N: Got to this a bit later than I wanted to because I was writing perfection but thank you for the request @broad-strokes87!! This is so funny, I feel like this is how they would react if I was transferring to Jujutsu High frfr Please Reblog and Comment if you enjoyed ! (They act as power-ups for me)
Taglist (OPEN): @iluvmattyb
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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 11 months ago
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Building off of someone else's ask, consider in the HoM au: Yuu asks the hyenas for advice on wooing Ruggie.
Alright alright so I think Miss Yuu would get on really well with the hyenas (honestly, all you need to do is respect them, be nice to them and give them food). Personally, she is the closest to Ed since he seems to be such a sweetheart (also he's voiced by Winnie the Pooh) and he just lives for her affection and headpats but Shenzi likes her because girlboss recognises girlboss. Honestly Yuu and the hyenas share the top spot for my favourite Yuu and henchmen friendship along with Diablo.
When it becomes apparent that there are little seeds of romance blossoming between Ruggie (their honorary cackle member) and the prefect (the only person they actually like), the trio make it their life mission to get the two together.
I don't know much about hyenas but I do know that whilst females are the dominant gender, that are more aggressive and make all the rules, the males are the ones that do the pursuing until the female accepts them. Banzai and Ed would just encourage Ruggie to do typical male courtship behaviour (I've heard that during courting, a male would do the approach-avoid method of just follow the female around like a lost duckling and that is absolutely adorable and if the hyenas catch Ruggie doing that he'll never hear the end of it) whilst Shenzi's advice to Miss Yuu would be 'the kid likes you, tell him you like him back otherwise we'll be here for years'. Since Ruggie has a lot of respect (and fear) for Shenzi, her telling him to do something would only come as a last case scenario where Yuu's obliviousness was getting them nowhere.
Also this has nothing to do with the ask I just want to rant about hyenas and one of my Yuus (that I ship with Ruggie) below the cut:
So a while back I had a cute animal video phase where I binged a bunch of videos of people who either had pet hyenas or looked after hyenas and that birthed the idea of a Yuu who's a huge hyena lover and has a pet hyena back in her world. Like, after watching videos of adorable hyena cubs I understand why Harley Quinn has two of them because those babies are adorable 🥰
I recently watched Thalapathy Vijay's movie 'Leo' where he saves/fights a grown hyena that he later looks after and trains as a guard (who then goes full on beast mode - whilst hyena cackling - on a bad guy that comes into the protagonist's house and holds a gun on his wife and daughter) and I was like yeah, why can't I have a Yuu that has a hyena that's basically the Rajah to her Jasmine? She deserves scary hyena privileges (I do have a backstory about those two this is just how it came to be)
And once the portal between the two worlds has been made, Ruggie and Yuu's baby/best friend from her world are constantly at odds with each other because they're both super protective male hyenas that love Yuu (one platonically and one romantically) and are jealous of the attention that the other gets.
And then I thought: what if we house of mouse!au it and have the hyena trio meet Yuu's furry friend and now Yuu is just surrounded by a cackle bunch of hyenas and 😍
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blacklegsanjiii · 6 months ago
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I wanna see Mihawk with a fem golden!Sanji. I don't think much would change over all but I feel like Mihawk being a girldad would be hilarious. Because she's nine and looks like she's six and she's been through hell and back and she's scared of men and boys. Mihawk doesn't interact with girls or women all that much so Zeff shoving them together would be hilarious and heart warming I think. Mihawk would be The GirlDad™️ and not even know it. This is so long. I'm so sorry(not).
Like Mihawk who wraps and braids and cords his swords looking at his daughters hair and taking the time to help care for it and make it look nice because she hasn't had somebody do that for her in years. She lends an ear to his stories and music and she doesn't comment for a while, a long while but when she does start adding her opinions in a soft voice he does smile a bit.
They probably dance a lot, like Mihawk would have taught golden!Sanji anyway, but with his daughter he probably teaches her more of the pairs dances she might have to do during Baratie parties or something. But she's small, like half his size when she starts learning so he's holding her and dancing around the room and she's laughing and Mihawk is smiling. During one such Baratie party Zeff managed to get a photo of this and it's framed in Mihawk's office. The one Sanji has framed in her room is of her passed out on Mihawk's chest in her chef coat and pants and him passed out with an arm over Sanji and the other over his eyes. Five people in the world have seen these photos and no one else believes they exist.
Sanji knows a lot about sex, no one who works at sea - no matter how old, unfortunately - can't not know. Mihawk tries to make the conversations not awkward but like he's Mihawk and Sanji is Sanji so at first they're probably awkward and very factual until Sanji's older and living Baratie and asking her dad some bizarre questions about sex, like what certain acts are or something. Like technical terms and when he's asking her why she's asking she mentions how Zeff and the cooks killed a man or something for propositioning her or something and Mihawk is like 'Ah, yes. I did leave you in good hands for work training, but nothing else.' and then explains whatever she's asking and they'll dive into the nuances of certain acts or the mechanics.
And when Zoro and Perona are on Kuraigana, Mihawk is looking at them and is like 'okay, well, my daughter's not here and neither of you will fit in her clothes' and they're both shocked he has a kid as he digs in old chests and finds clothes for them. Perona isn't in Sanji's old room but they are allowed to look through the room and see if there's anything they'd like to borrow. Zoro probably finds a very old copy of Noland the Liar and tells Mihawk and Perona going there and how the cook was scared of all the bugs. Mihawk is neutral until Zoro opens up the page and sees Sanji's name and Zoro laughs and says there's two people named three in the world and Perona has keyed into something but she's not sure what as Mihawk is like 'just one, to my knowledge, my daughter is the cook of your crew.' and Zoro pales immediately.
One time they're all in Mihawk's office as he goes over paperwork and Perona asks why there's a blonde braid on his desk next to a photo of him and a kid. Zoro comes to look and says they both remind him of Sanji and Mihawk is like 'did you both already forget who my daughter is?' as pinches the bridge of his nose. Mihawk explains the braid is from when Sanji moved to Baratie full time and left home. She has one of Yoru's old cords and her own photo from a Baratie party. Also no one will believe them that this photo exists. Nor is anyone going to believe them about Mihawk having a daughter. He sits back and watches in amusement as realization takes both of them and that outside of the geezer and Sanji, no one will believe Zoro and no one in Perona's life will believe her.
When the Strawhats are reunited Zoro corners Sanji and demands to see the photo of her and her dad and Sanji is making fun of him for losing his eye on Kuraigana as she shows him the photo and the cord. I also feel like it becomes common knowledge on the ship because someone(Usopp and Luffy) found the photo and brandished it to the crew and Robin is cooing at baby Sanji with Nami and Zoro is talking about the photo Mihawk has on his desk. Everyone is staring at the cook in awe and she points out none of them asked.
Every time they get an ally and Luffy is introducing his crew and gets to Sanji she thumps him on the head and is like 'you can't keep telling people who my dad is! You're going to get us killed!' and no one fucking believes it until they pass the photo on the way into the galley. And (for the Lawsan agenda) everyone always makes a comment about how darling they look but Law asks how Mihawk even acquired her and Sanji mentions he saved her and the geezer and took her with. Geezer said he needed someone to make the man soft so the blonde girl would do. Law is like 'oh this is me and Cora just flipped' and then he starts falling for the cook. Because she is good at making people soft, she gives him a place away from Luffy and the others, has coffee ready at all times of the day, and is insanely good at bickering with multiple people as well as intelligent conversations. When they start dating, post WCI and during Wano, Sanji brings up meeting her dad eventually and Law points out he's met the man. Sanji says knowing the man as a warlord and as her boyfriend are different and will garner different reactions which makes Law blanch and Jinbei and Marco fucking lose it at them.
When Law does meet the man as Sanji's boyfriend? It's happenstance, Mihawk is sailing by and figured he'd check on Zoro(and Sanji) and Sanji has a few drinks in her(courtesy of Ikkaku) and is on Law's lap when he rolls up he hears the crews talking and Zoro and Luffy welcome him aboard since this isn't pirate business, just a man checking on his kids and Luffy announces to everyone that 'Sanjis dad is here!' and Law and Sanji are staring at the swordsman who is staring back as Shachi and Penguin are losing it and Law shambles him and his girlfriend away out of not panic but a definite fear for his safety.
Sanji is of course telling him he's dumb and just made it so much worse for them because her dad is a master of observation haki. He will find them. Law groans buries his face in her neck because they're a few drinks deep and were not planning on introductions yet, but they have to be made. Also they shambled to Law's room on the Tang so they have to make their way from the Tang to the Sunny. Mihawk is talking with Zoro and nods at them as they go back and Zoro asks Law if Mihawk scared him that much and Sanji says to be nice but Mihawk does agree he's a rather frightful person to have as your partner's parent. Sanji frowns at him and Mihawk raised a brow at her and then she very unceremoniously drags her dad to the galley and he lets her. He just goes which might be the more concerning part because even Zoro is surprised the man lets her pull him around.
They return with wine and glasses to join the party and Law can tell his girlfriend is blushing from whatever they were talking about in the galley as she stands beside him and Mihawk next to her and they open the wine as Mihawk looks to Law.
"I don't necessarily do 'shovel talks' if that's what you're concerned about." Mihawk says smoothly.
"Right." Law nods. "Knowing you're her father is enough, I assume?"
"Well, Zeff and the cooks from Baratie maimed or killed those who were...uncouth. I have no doubt my daughter would kick your ass if you needed it. I assume I would only be called if something dire were to happen." Mihawk answers as he sips his wine. "I didn't kill Roronoa to defend my daughter's honor because she can do that herself."
"Yeah, sure." Zoro hummed in his drink. Sanji handed her glass to Law as Mihawk looked amused and then shocked at Sanji's legs catching on fire as she rushed the green haired man.
"She can skywalk too." Law says as he watches the fight start. "When I saved Zoro-ya after Kaido punched him I shambled us down and she happened to catch both of us. One on each shoulder and still managed to not lose speed."
"Yes, well, being a chef does require a decent amount of upper body strength already, cooking for this crew even more so." Mihawk acknowledges. "Though her hair not being braided is new." He tacks on tilting his head as the wings fight.
"She hasn't the entire time we have been dating." Law says in a questioning tone. Mihawk hums as they watch the cook fight the swordsman, Luffy is laughing and reminding Law he can't take Sanji with him which makes Law flush and yell at him which makes Mihawk chuckle into his wine as the fight concludes. Sanji goes back over and Mihawk hands her his glass and just starts braiding her hair because 'what the fuck have you been doing to your hair?' 'Nothing! Look at my crew! It wouldn't last a day!' 'So pin it.' and everyone is watching him make quick work of her hair and then takes his wine back. The father daughter duo definitely threaten to call Zeff on each other. Mihawk is surprisingly relaxed during the party, even when his daughter leaves with her boyfriend to sleep,
The next morning he's helping Sanji cook in the galley of the Thousand Sunny and Law is the first to come in, despite his hangover, and does say his cooks are providing breakfast to his crew and Sanji nods and gives him coffee. As the crew filters in for breakfast Nami asks Mihawk about braiding and how quick he did it. Mihawk answers he's been cording sword hilts for most of his life and wrapping with multiple cords is just braiding and applying it to his daughter's hair was not so different and offers a demonstration. Which Nami agrees to eagerly and Robin smiles and says that would be a good idea. Mihawk tells Law he is participating, no arguments.
After breakfast is cleaned up Sanji is sat on a chair on deck and Nami has brought the hair pins and hair ties out and Mihawk shows them all several different braids, ranging from simple to intricate. Law is taking many mental notes during this whole thing. When he is made to do a braid on his girlfriend under her father's watchful eye Law doesn't shake because he's a surgeon who has been in worse situations and executes it well. Mihawk departs with a clap to his shoulder and a promise the next time they'll meet to be an excellent fight. Sanji is smiling and once Mihawk is gone asks Law how it was meeting her dad. Law groans and curses her and pulls her close because her dad is terrifying and he's afraid he knotted the shit out of her hair and he will hear about it.
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goldenmeat · 6 months ago
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A bit of a longer story, but I had some fun with this one haha. Prompt inspirationby @bigwishes
You had a wish. One simple wish. To be bigger and beefier than anyone else. Unfortunately, your body can't seem to keep up. You've been going to the gym since new years, being a consistent as you can, curating your diet as best as your budget allowed, yet even after almost half a year, you've only gained maybe five pounds of...well you can't even be sure it's all muscle.
You sigh deeply as you wait for the train. Your apartment is about three stops away, and usually, it's a peaceful ride. But today, there's an annoying number of people here, chatting, playing loud music, dressing up... you wondered if there was a convention or concert happening today.
The train arrives, and everyone packs in, diving each other in just to fit. You squeeze in last, huddled against the door by the time they close and the train gets moving. You hadn't showered yet, so you're already a little self-conscious about how you smell, given the looks you seemed to be getting. Hopefully this ride goes by quickly.
You suddenly get a text message. You fish around your pocket and pull it up your phone. It's from a number you don't recognize. Reading it definitely made you raise an eyebrow.
"Through the eyes of those around, your desires manifest. Once agreed, this promise bound, please reply, with no or yes."
What the fuck was this? A riddle? A prank? Some new scam tactic? You scoffed as you start to block the number. But before you follow through, you pause. "My desires manifest." Being bigger, being a muscle brute, you wanted nothing more than to be so swole, no one could ignore you. You stare at the text message again, this time with serious consideration.
You shrug your shoulders. Thinking too hard about it wasn't your style. You'd reply yes, and at worst, nothing happens. You send the reply, "YES", and put your phone back in your pocket, closing your eyes as you lean against the train door.
A few minutes pass, and the overhead voice announces your arrival at the next station. You open your eyes and yawn, raising your arm over your head. This causes quite the reaction from those around you.
"Ew! What the hell!" A blonde woman clenches her nose as the doors open, allowing her to escape from you. "Ugh! This is why I hate the city..." You hear her mumbling to herself as she and a number of people walk out of the train. You wonder what the heck has her so flustered when you smell it yourself. A strong, musky odor that even catches you by surprise. You look around to see where it's coming from when you notice the glances of disgust and unease seem to all be directed towards you. You look down and immediately notice something's off.
You're much more muscular than you were previously. Your pecs are thick and defined, your shoulders and arms have mass that finally hides your bony frame, and those legs! Defined quads with a hint of veinyness. You're not sure when or how, but you've now got the body of your dreams! Maybe a little smelly, but nothing a good shower couldn't fix. There's also pressure in your stomach for some reason, but that didn't bother you much. You were too distracted by the looks of the people around you, both good and bad. You already saw the faces of disgust, but you're also seeing people looking longingly, almost salaciously at you. You could definitely get used to this.
Unfortunately, before the doors could close, a few more people squeezed in, making it a little more uncomfortable than before. Things were already pretty tight when you were just average sized, but your new hunky body actually means you're pressed up even more against a lot of bystanders.
'Two more stops and you're home free', you think to yourself. You needed some private time to really appreciate your new body after all. And to shower. Your BO really is quite pungent. It's attracting quite the attention. The more time passes, the worse it's getting it seems. Not just the stares, but the smell as well. And is it getting hotter? What was happening?
It wasn't long until you realized that your growth wasn't over. Your body was getting thicker, bulkier, and all your efforts to compact yourself were useless. You could feel your muscular body press up against everyone around you. They tell you to quit shoving, or that you're taking up too much space. You apologize, but can't seem to stop whatever was happening to you, shame welling in your gut.
Turns out, it wasn't shame in your gut, as you accidentally let out a horrific belch, just in time for the doors to open and let out more horrified passengers, complaining about you all the while. More passengers come in to replace the ones who just left, and you apologize between burps as they stuff themselves against your musky body just to fit.
Unfortunately for you, things only escalated. Your body was now ballooning is mass, your pecs becoming large shelves of flesh, stretching out your tank top. Your arms are massive cords of muscle, with a back so wide you might have struggled against the door should you exit. Your legs also push each other out, forcing a wider stance than you mean to in this already cramped environment.
Your body rubbing up against so many people also making things difficult. For whatever reason, your body was becoming more sensitive in proportion to your size. It felt...good...being squeezed and surrounded like this. Like everyone was forced to appreciate your body. That they had to experience how strong and masculine you were, whether they liked it or not.
And then the unthinkable happened. Someone in front of you really seemed to like what was happening. You looked down at the twink in front of you, eyes half lidded and mischievously grinning. His hands got a hold of your crotch, softly and expertly rubbing up and down. You almost raise your voice to get him to stop. But what comes out instead is a burp and a deep groaning.
His left hand strokes your torso, feeling up your hard abs and rubbing your still growing pecs. Your dick hardens quickly and peaks out over your shorts. Thankfully the twink seems to be blocking the view of your raging hard on to everyone else as he continues to tease you.
Long minutes pass as you moan quietly. The other passengers around you tell you to give them some room, or shove against you, with some others feeling up your tremendous backside and tree trunk legs. The attention is overwhelming, leading you to your peak much quicker than you were expecting. You wanted to hold back. You couldn't cum here in front of everyone, and yet you didn't have the willpower to stop the man in front of you from beating you off either.
The overhead voice was announcing they would be arriving at their next stop shortly. You hold your breath. You just needed to hold out just a little longer. But it couldn't be stopped. Your balls twitch and churn, as your dick pulses.
It all happens in a dreamlike instant. You see the train doors open. Just before your orgasm, you feel someone pull down your underwear and tight shorts in a flash. The hand beating you off pulls you violently, and a second hand shoves you out. You barely maintain your balance as you yelp. You then see it all in an instant; the shocked reactions, curious and engrossed glances. Everyone in the train and out now staring at you and your naked, muscular body.
The shame, lust, and excitement hit you at mach speed as an uncontrollable orgasm rips through your entire being. Your muscles contract beautifully as you roar through your orgasm. You hear shocked cries and swearing. Cheers and hollers of approval. You see people pulling out phones, leering in both lust and revulsion.
It was all so hot.
Your orgasm lasts for almost a whole minute as you dump your milky white cum on the concrete before you. You eventually calm down as you struggle to bring yourself back to lucidity. Suddenly however, you feel yourself tripping, as you feel your shorts and underwear torn from your legs. You look back in horror as you see two teenagers, laughing at you with middle fingers raised as the train door shuts. You get up and pound on the door, as the teens hysterically laugh at you from the safety of the train window as the train quickly accelerates away.
You can only look back, face beet red at the public whispering amongst each other, phones still recording the whole incident. Your apartment was a whole twenty minute walk away, ten if you ran.
It would be your most shameful run back home, with your dick hard as steel the whole way.
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This sweet plague that follows me (this violence that I call my own)
This is how it feels to take a fall - series masterlist here
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pairing: takami keigo x reader (gender neutral)
length: 2.1k
genre: hurt/comfort, fluff
warnings: lots of blood but not from keigo or reader, it's just kinda everywhere, this entire fic is a biohazard, they're mentally ill but they're in love
a/n: back on my hawks shit ig turns out it never ever goes away
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Keigo thinks, as he lets the door shut behind him, that maybe this life of his was inevitable - this sacrifice was unavoidable. He thinks that, perhaps, there are some people who need to spend their lives fighting, who need to beat their fists against flesh and split their lips on the bloody knuckles of their rivals. 
There are people who find peace only in war, and Keigo, so often, wishes he were not one of these people. As he kicks his boots off and tosses his phone on the side table, stepping further into his entryway, he thanks whatever's out there that he, at least, doesn't have to do it alone - that he's found someone to build a home with in this violence of his.
He doesn't bother changing out of his hero uniform when he sits on the couch, slouching into the cushions. It was a rough patrol - one that left him with scrapes and bruises, blood dripping from his jacket, drying on his hands. Maybe, he thinks as he rubs his palms together, the dark red coming off in little flecks, settling into the carpet, maybe if I was someone else, this would bother me. Maybe if I was something else.
But the violence in him stays, wrapping around him and choking him from the inside out. He stares down at his hands, palms facing up as he glares. How can I say I'm good when they've done so much bad, he thinks. There's a sort of desperation in him as he reaches for the remote, turning on the television, wanting some sort of background noise to drown the whirring of his thoughts out, to drown his voice out, to drown him, to -
But then there you are, on the news - still working. Still fighting. Still bleeding. Keigo chokes, his hands balling into fists as he watches, as he sees you, blood marring your hero uniform. Not really your blood, he notes, but a stain, nonetheless. And there's still that wild look in your eyes, a ferocity that couldn't be stamped out. The reporter drones on about your reputation, your blood-soaked, violence-stained reputation. Brutality, war, violence - all for the sake of peace.
We get our hands dirty so that normal people don't have to. That's what you'd always said to him. Keigo never had the heart to tell you that he didn't think either of you deserved to have to be these things.
But neither of you got to choose this life - this calling, thrust upon you. Neither of you chose to be raised this way, trained this way, a violence so ingrained in you that you cannot be anything else anymore.
There are few things Keigo gets to choose in this life. Loving you, though - that is something he chooses every day. Waiting for you - that is something he would choose until the end of time. So he waits, turning the TV off with a sigh and tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. As he sags down onto the couch, he can't make himself care about the blood that seeps into it - although he wonders idly how many new couches he could buy with the money he makes from wrapping his hands around other people's throats.
But they're villains, he reminds himself. But isn't he? Aren't you, for the things that you do? Keigo, most of the time, doesn't think he knows where the line is anymore. You always do, he finds, and as he listens to the sound of the front door clicking open, he finds himself breathing a sigh of relief that you're back, that some tether to morality and sanity has returned to his life.
"Hey birdie," you call softly,  and it's wrong, the way your voice comes out soft and tender and delicate; it lurches in contrast to the way you pull off your jacket, heavy with the weight of blood, and let it drop onto the floor with a dull splat. But he looks at you - at your eyes, warm and soft and loving. A trickle of blood trails down your temple and the couch cushion dampens under his weight, blood seeping into it.
Whatever, he thinks. I'll call the cleaners in. It's not like it would be the first time. It's not like it will be the last. Keigo leans forward, tips himself onto his feet so that he can make his way over to where you still stand in the entryway.
"Hey, dove," he says softly. When he gets to you, he holds your face in his hands with a gentleness that feels like it shouldn't belong to him, a benevolence that feels stolen, his hands having been wiped clean hastily on his pants, leaving trails of crimson behind. 
But he just smoothes his thumb across your cheek, maps himself out a clean spot so he can press his lips to it, and the touch is so soft that you find yourself holding your breath, your heart thumping painfully against your ribs. Because when, you think, did touch become so soft? And when did we become deserving of it?
"Leave it here," Keigo shushes you softly, prying ever so gently at your clenched fists to loosen your grip on whatever happened out there, his nose brushing against your cheek as he speaks against your skin. "Leave it out there. It's safe in here." That's all it takes, really, a sigh leaving you as you let your head thump against his shoulder, fist loosening enough that he can tangle his fingers with yours and bring you closer to him. The blood on you presses against him, staining his jacket more. Neither of you find it in you to care - it's not the first time, and it won't be the last.
"You need to clean yourself up," you mumble against his shoulder, fatigue seeping into your voice. Keigo huffs out a laugh, poking your side gently.
"You're one to talk," he quips back, but there's no real bite, especially when he moves to tug you down the hallway toward your shared bathroom. You grumble as you walk after him, letting him pull you by your hand as you pretend to put up a fight. But there's never really any fights here, in this home that you share. Keigo thrives on it, notably - being able to take care of you, being able to channel that fight in him into protectiveness and have his hands heal for once.
Back when the two of you were younger, when you were both hot-headed rivals battling for the top hero ranking, you'd always argued that there was peace to be found in war.
"Don't you understand, Hawks?" You'd said to him. "You can't have one without the other."
He never knew what you meant by that until you had him sitting on your kitchen counter for the first time, cleaning blood from his face. He hadn't known your touch could be so tender, until then. 
Now, of course, it's second nature to you both, the way you smooth a hand across the nape of his neck as he lifts you to sit on the bathroom counter. Now, there is nothing but softness between the two of you, a gentleness found only in the privacy of your own home. You watch, through tired, hooded eyes, the way his wings twitch and flutter, spreading slightly to take up more space, to block your view from the mirror if you were to try to turn. He always does that now - you pretend not to notice and he pretends not to know. 
You remember the first time you'd come home like this, when your relationship was still new - tentative and stumbling. He'd never seen it before - the tug of war that takes place in the doorway of your home, the attempt to put the fight aside for the night and learn to be human again. Oh, how bad you'd been at it then, pulling your hands away from his and spluttering concerns about getting blood on him, about leaving your marks on him.
"I'm already all marked up," he'd cooed, taking your hands and pressing them to his chest, letting you feel him, solid and warm and yours. "I've already got my own stains. There is no mark you could leave on me that I wouldn't thank you for." You'd laughed when he said that, a pitchy, tired noise. 
"You and I really are the same, aren't we?" You'd said. Keigo had found himself agreeing.
But when he'd taken you to the bathroom to clean up, the same way he does now, you'd caught sight of yourself in the mirror. The blood that dripped from your face and the wild look in your eyes were so familiar to you, but when they knocked against Keigo's tender grip on your waist and fluttering kiss to our cheek, the softness of it all made your breath stutter, panic rising in you. There is anguish in love when it is something so foreign, you'd thought. You couldn't articulate that, of course, as you buried your head in your hands and sobbed. But Keigo knew - he knew from when you'd helped him that first time, in your kitchen. He knew from excusing himself to the bathroom after, just so that he could clamp his hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs. You'd been right, of course - the two of you really are the same.
"Where'd you go, baby," your voice snaps Keigo back to the present, your finger flicking against his forehead gently. He grins at you, cocking his head to the side as he stares.
"Just thinking about you," he says, and you roll your eyes. "You want a shower?"
"Yes please," is your answer, but he stops you from moving, murmuring a stay put against your lips before giving you a quick kiss and stepping away to get the shower running. You slide over on the counter, smiling at the glare he shoots you as you move to lean sideways, turning the tap on and beginning to scrub your hands in the sink.
"We're about to get in the shower, dove," Keigo points out as he reaches a hand under the spray, frowning and adjusting the temperature.
"I just want my hands to be clean," you say earnestly, and he finds he can't fault you for that. He stares at his own, for a moment, before moving to the other sink, scrubbing at his palms with soap and water as steam begins to fill the room.
"You take your showers too hot," you point out.
"You take them too cold," he retorts.
"Maybe we should stop showering together," you pout teasingly, drying your hands on the towel Keigo's tossed you while he shoots you a look.
"As if. Get in, dove, before I make it hotter." You roll your eyes at his words, but slide yourself off the counter nonetheless, letting Keigo peel off the layers of your uniform as you do the same for him. 
"Thank you, Keigo," you say quietly, slipping into the shower and turning to see him follow after you. As if he wouldn't, if you weren't checking. As if he could do anything other than chase after you.
"You don't have to thank me for this," he says easily, using a hand against your cheek to bring you forward, resting his forehead against yours. "You don't have to thank me for loving you."
"But still," you press. "It's nice, isn't it?"
"Of course it is. But it's also deserved," he points out. You smile. 
"For you, too, then," you say. "You deserve this softness, too."
"Well," Keigo drawls, but you don't miss the way he wraps his arms around you to tuck you into his chest so that you can't see the blush creeping over his cheeks. "Good thing I have you to give me that, then, hm?"
"Yea," you laugh, burying your head in his chest and watching the way the water runs red, stains of blood blurring off your skin and disappearing. "Good thing."
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