#i don't take myself very seriously and love myself and i love uplifting other people and want everyone to be tapped into their power

[thessaralka]

babe i'm so high on my own gas it's unreal 😂

but i also think everyone else should be high on their own gas as well and know their own genius and applaud it, even if they aren't perfect bc that's what empowers other people. people who know their own genius aren't hating on other people or being whiny little bitches, they're creating things that empower/ inspire/ entertain other people.

sorry to make this deep but you made me feel things, ily.

...how much of a bastardass solas is to rook vs how sweet-loverboy solas is with vhenan gives me whiplash and makes me both horny and physically ill

he would never show vhenan that side of him. like he tried so hard in trespasser and he physically couldn't do it. he called her vhenan and almost choked to death holding back his tears and self hatred as he kissed her lmfaoaofjilhbleiuhb

and then with rook he's like

"yeah i hate blood magic >:(" *blood magics rook to get his way*,

"varric, yeah? at least you still have him to chat with. lol." *literally kills varric and uses blood magic to fool rook about it*,

*traps rook in the fade with the full intention to leave them there to rot and die in the worst fucking prison imaginable to him specifically*,

"i swear 2 god and on the lives of all my friends (leaves vhenan out of it) the veil won't come down by my hand sweetie pie :) love u. we've made such good memories together, yeah?" *because the veil will come down by rook's hand, the chesspiece solas uses to win the game, doesn't give a single flying fuck about rook other than that they are his foil and he begrudgingly respects them*.

i love pookie so much. he's so dastardly and pathetic at the same time

[twig-tea]

Thoughts on The Trainee ep10

I wrote a separate post focusing on the Ba Mhee & Tae relationship here, but wanted to talk a bit about everything else going on in this episode that I loved as well.

One of the things I love the most about this show is how it holds nuance, and another is how all of the interns get an arc. And in this episode we got to see Pah, who mostly has been shown as a screw-up this episode for being too friendly and chatty and not focused enough on work, and who has been getting the interns in trouble with his plots, finally was able to use his friendliness and plot for good! The things that are Pah's weaknesses are also his strengths and make him a great colleague. And he's already learned from last episode to take things more seriously, so I'm glad he got to show off this week.

Speaking of the other interns and their arcs, I loved how we got to see Pai casually chatting with her coworkers this episode. She's learned the importance of fostering friendships at work and being collegial not just competent, and I really loved seeing that payoff with others and not just the core intern group!

Turning to the protagonist of the intern group, I loved Ryan's conversation with Jane about his dreams and how they aren't grandiose, and he's embarrassed by them. I related to this a lot; I've never really wanted to accomplish anything in particular myself, or been very ambitious, but I love helping the people around me accomplish their goals. It's what I'm good at and it gives me so much fulfilment to see other people succeed. This is what made me a good editor, and it's what makes me a good project manager and people manager now. We have seen from episode one that Ryan is a great helper and excellent at noticing what needs doing and making sure it's done, once he has the experience. And I love that he hadn't recognized that skill in himself or noticed that it was fulfilling for him. He had noticed how much he enjoyed preparing customer files, likely because the feedback was immediate and positive, but he clearly gets satisfaction from quietly making sure everything is in place for his family's print shop to run smoothly too. It was difficult for him as an intern in a new space with no understanding of how anything works. But in just a couple of months he's learned to anticipate some of the needs on his own, and he's starting to recognize his own passion. I love this arc for him. We've also seen his interpersonal skills, and how he's often terrible and freezes when directly confronted, but he is also great at noticing when people are down and asking questions that are tactful and work-focused rather than personal, to give the other person a chance to interact that isn't too fraught. We've seen him check in on Pie, Tae, and Pah this way. I keep thinking about how Jane's refrain to him is "if you want to know, ask", and how I can't wait to see Ryan get to that point.

Speaking of Jane, he continues to be walking a careful line and the way he is smiling more because of this crush is really lovely to see. Jane started the show so frustrated with his colleagues and wary of Ryan's disinterest, but he was quick to see Ryan's potential and encourage him, and we soon saw him defend and uplift Pai in a way that made it clear he was a great mentor and not what his colleagues said about him. It's interesting to see him start to cross the same boundaries that Judy crossed with Ba Mhee, but in a very different order and in very different circumstances. I do really love that the show is able to illustrate how the same behaviour can be appropriate or inappropriate, dependent on context. And I love that Jane is waiting for this internship to play out before they do anything more than hug and flirt a little.

Judy is still my only current frustration because I don't really understand her motivations--why tell Ba Mhee she knew she was uninterested if she was then going to pursue her? Why is she suddenly not good at things we know she is good at because of her job (e.g. noticing what Ba Mhee likes and doesn't like and doing things to annoy rather than help her). I am still hopeful we will get this missing piece in coming episodes.

Speaking of; just to put it into the universe, here is my wish list for the last two episodes:

Ryan asks Jane a question directly [preferably he asks him out, but I'll take him asking about his feelings or what's next for them or something on those lines]

Judy insight [preferably via a Judy/Jane conversation but I will take any insight I can get]

Jane getting some appreciation from his coworkers or leaving to start his own production house

Ba Mhee fully owning some of her stuff from her first relationship with Tae, if not stated outright then at least demonstrated via differences in her behavior, including her having other interests during their second attempt

I don't need much time spent on this one but seeing Pah take work stuff seriously in a similar way to how we saw Pie casually being friendly in this ep (just to underscore that he's really taken the lesson on board) would be great

I would also love a final glimpse of Ryan's sister doing well (especially if we do get a time skip)

Just for thirsting purposes, I would also love a little more time with the cute art department guy!

[I am talking about back left with the arm tattoo, the one who told off the guy who was being gross with Pai and Ba Mhee, and who carried Tae on his back, hello my beloved]

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Heyyy, how are yaa <3 I've been following and keeping up with your blog for a while now and I think you depict each and every character so well, which seems to be a failing factor to a lot of good writers who unfortunately cannot understand characters in all angles. - basically saying I love and I'm glad to have found your blog ahah

So I wanted to ask you something; I'm also a writer, not in the fanfiction/character-writing realm. It's texts, reflections, poems and songs! And I wanted to know how you managed to pave your way through and build a strong base here on the website; basically how you came to be and tried to launch yourself! It's something I always wonder when checking out other popular blogs.

Thank you!! Have a great one <3

HELLO MY DEARHEART! Thank you so much for this uplifting message! It seriously means a ton. It is so, SO important to me to keep all the characters true to themselves so I very much appreciate your feedback <3 I'm so glad you found me too! I actually have a post about this on what was/is my original fanfiction blog here ( @supernaturalfreewill ) which has an even more obscene number of followers than this one does haha because I used to get asked this ALL THE TIME. The post has some thoughts which may or may not be relevant/useful to you.

I think the main things to remember are: 1.) You should be doing this purely for yourself, not to hit some follower goal or some particular benchmark. If you don't enjoy it and you set certain expectations the work suffers and it can be very disheartening if you aren't hitting those goals when or how you wanted to. It's funny how when what you are doing is fulfilling to you, people are attracted to it! If you write what you love, it shows. And putting in the time to edit and reread and practice your craft makes a difference. 2.) Being consistent in multiple ways is important. Posting every single day feeds the stupid algorithm and gets eyes on your work and keeps people coming back for more. Producing a consistent kind of content makes people more likely to follow because they know what to expect from you. At the minimum, make it clear what your blog or site is going to have. I know for myself on Tumblr, I rarely follow blogs that are a mishmash of many topics or things because I like to know what I can expect to see on my dashboard. I follow blogs with a clear "theme" and I definitely have seen it work in terms of building my own following. It's why I have separate blogs for my different fandoms and didn't incorporate them into a multi-fandom blog. (But everyone has different tastes and I'm definitely not saying you can't be successful as a random blog or multi-fandom blog lol but you get what I'm saying!)

3.) Cultivate your "brand" and also be you! Putting yourself out there and being authentic also seems to attract people.

In terms of what I did here on Tumblr, it's literally just those things above. I was already doing the writing for myself and then thought "Hey, maybe other people would enjoy this?" and started posting consistently and frequently. I can honestly say at least when I started posting my Supernatural fics MANY moons ago, I NEVER expected it to take off the way it did. But once I got started, I just kept going as long as I enjoyed it. The idea is the same here on this blog. I try to post at least a drabble almost every day, I frequently interact with my followers, and I write what I love.

I hope this is at least a little what you were asking about haha and I wish you all the best inspiration as a fellow writer! <3 I'm glad you're here.

[kaycode1999]

- From Anonymous

Hii! I am new to this matchup thing but wanted to try it out when I saw it. I wanted to request a BNHA matchup

-Well, I think I have a weird kind of personality. I am anti social and don't really talk to people because I have a hard time interacting with them, I have social anxiety and I am really insecure about myself. I have anger issues and depression which causes me to ghost people at times because I feel like I don't deserve them but on the other hand I act goofy all the time (at least that's what my friends say) and I am easily able to make people laugh, I am also a people pleaser so it's hard for me to say no to others.

- My pronouns are she/her and I am bisexual, though I attracted to guys more.

- I don't really have an aesthetic, I just dress depending on my mood. I really like the downtown aesthetic though (jeans, crop tops, headphones and a casual outfit overall.

- I like gaming, dancing and listening to music.

- My type uhm, maybe someone who's able to match my energy and doesn't hate me for my anger issues and my personality in general. But at the same time I also like people who are calm and balance my hyperactive self and are able to calm me down when I get irritated or feel stressed.

- I think that's it, there's not any character in particular that I don't wanna be matched with but please don't match me up with AFO or someone really old 😭

Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it!!

*I don’t know why but for some reason the way it came through it wouldn’t let me answer it or do anything to it so I have to do it this way *

I match you with

Dabi/ Touya Todoroki

He doesn’t exactly like being social either, he completely understands about social anxiety and insecurity

He also has a hard time interacting with others and he also understands insecurity very well

I believe he would never want to be like his dad especially where relationships are concerned so he wants to be uplifting to you

If he knows about your insecurities he will be as gentle and loving about it as possible because he wants you to feel good about yourself

He has depression and anger issues too so he is definitely understanding and non judgmental

I think after the people he’s been around; his dad and the LOV, he really appreciates the levity you bring and that you are good at getting people to laugh

He understands people pleasing on a personal level. Not so much now, but from when he was a kid desperately seeking his fathers attention and approval *seriously fuck Endeavor, he’s the worst*

If you want his help forming and maintaining boundaries to keep from burning yourself out he won’t mind, but he won’t push it either

He will game with you, or just chill and watch while he does his own thing

He loves watching you dance, but he also will dance with you if you want to. Any excuse to hold you close really

He would be fine to just chill and listen to music with you while you do your own things. Just relax and have some nice quality time

He definitely does not hate you for you having anger issues and he adores your personality

Yes he has his own anger issues and other issues, but that is most specific trigger related and not something that he takes out on you so he is more on the chill side

He’s chill enough towards you that it balances your hyperactivity

[l0velylecter]

Thank you for writing from a girly/feminine perspective! A lot of popular writing styles nowadays stick to the very tomboy-ish and gruff "not like other girls" perspective and I have trouble relating to that. I hope I'm not offending anyone with this ask but it's nice to find a writer, especially in the COD fandom, who doesn't perceive femininity and gentleness as a weakness.

Hi, darling anon! 

Thank you for this sweet message. Before I continue, I just want to clarify that :

There's nothing wrong with tomboy-ish and gruff girls, but you are right: there is something wrong the moment their authors use them to bring other women down for being the opposite.

Whatever I will say next is just my opinion, nothing is fact-checked, so feel free to disagree if you do 

I noticed that a lot of times, things get lost in translation very easily when writing about women. And in this block of text, when I say women, I also refer to non-cis women. Often modern media have, unfortunately, conditioned us into thinking that women are inherently weak, so we tend to either accidentally (or with purpose) make women 'different from other girls / unlike other girls.' to have people take them seriously.

But the real question here is: What's wrong with other girls?

There are many ways to uplift women other than bringing each other down. Of course, girly girls can co-exist with adjectives like smart, badass, powerful, strong, and independent. 

And honestly, as a girly girl, I am quite tired of girly-girl erasure. And I am tired of girly girls being portrayed as only two-dimensional characters with no worth or substance to the story. Always the punchline to an overused and unfunny joke. 

And even if these headcanons and imagines are all so well written, as lovely as it is to see kick-ass readers/characters who can let's say: physically fight, use a gun, and are part of the military, as a girl who can't even lift her suitcase I find myself unable to relate to these pieces. One might say: ' But it's just fantasy, it's supposed to be unrealistic.' 

I agree, however, I want my fantasies to also cater to my perception of reality if you get what I mean — my preferences and style. Maybe it's easier for me to see myself as a benefactress to a private military unit than a soldier. This is why I prefer to write about readers as civilians, non-active duty personnel, people in non-military professions, etc. because I can picture it better. And as a writer, my skill of writing can also improve and expand, sooner or later I won't be that restricted in writing and can write about all sorts of readers in all sorts of scenarios. Because I know I cannot put women into boxes, certainly not one that excludes people from enjoying a fandom: which in this case is call of duty.

By the end of the day, my wish is to see more inclusivity in writing about women/female characters! women are allowed to be traditionally feminine, women are allowed to be kick-ass, women are allowed to be smart, women are allowed to be brave, women are allowed to be strong, and women are all allowed to be all of the above at once! 

If you don't agree with how an author writes their reader, it's not difficult to scroll and find something more to your taste. I have received a few messages in my inbox complaining about how I am writing unrealistic reader povs, I never reply to these because by the end of the day: this is all fantasy. And I'm sorry, but to quote one of these messages: maybe it is difficult for certain anons to see themselves as an 'it girl'...but not me though ( stay safe💋) 

In conclusion : women of all backgrounds and settings are not weak, and women shouldn't be restricted to just a 'trope' or a label. there is strength in being gentle and there is courage in being kind. 

Again, please correct me if I use any wrong terminologies, and these are all just my opinions. Thanks for this wonderful compliment anon, you gave me a chance to speak out about what I've held in my heart for a long time. You made my week <3 

smooches x

[monarch-boo]

Thoughts.

With all the questioning of whether Garten of Banban is real or just making fun of what people think other indie horror is, I would actually very much prefer that it turns out to be an unironic game.

Because, 1: I just think it would actually be kind of funny watching all these people overdramatizing that this game is singlehandedly destroying the reputation of indie horror, seething.

Especially considering, no, this is not going to hurt indie horror. IF theres any actual threat this game poses, it still will not hurt anything unless you let it, imo. I feel like any intelligent person who does not like games like this would simply... not give them money or even attention. If you're so worried about games like this, just ignore this, and uplift games that are not this??? Ironically the outrage about this game is probably getting more eyes on it than any Let's Player could alone. This game is something even I may not have paid any mind to if the internet did not have a massive meltdown over it.

(Although it would also mean increased harassment against the devs which would be fucking terrible and I'm not sure what could be done about that.)

Anyway, 2: I think it would actually be WORSE if it was a joke game.

A criticism of indie horror games like Poppy Playtime is that people think them selling merch must mean they're exploiting kids for their parents money or something. Maybe some are, but as far as I can tell there's no proof any of these games are actually doing that, just assumption. Even the ones that have made dumbass decisions like PoPl's fucking NFTs, or started selling merch "too early", could just be... making stupid business decisions or making merch early. Even if I understand the suspicion about PoPl.

If Garten of Banban turned out to be fake, while selling merch, especially at the prices they are, it would literally be "We're taking the piss out of games we think are exploiting kids and Let's Players for attention and money, by ACTUALLY exploiting those demographics for attention and money because our game is an actual deliberate fake." Like, doing THIS to parody these games without letting people know it's a parody is actually scummier than what people think PoPl is up to with their merch. TheMeatly's new parody game is fucking annoying and frankly hypocritical but at least he's immediately honest about it being parody. ...Plus I'm not sure there's even actual merch for his parody.

At least at that point any anger the Banban devs would receive would be pretty rightful, however we all know the people who are shitting on them right now under the assumption that the game is in earnest, would be thinking they're awesome and funny if it turns out to be fake... there's already people saying they'd be geniuses if it was fake.

Ultimately, I'm not immediately assuming anything about whether or not the game is in earnest, but I'm seriously hoping that it is.

I will take the kind and constructive route with the devs. If I had any good experience/ideas myself I'd even like to go as far as to get in touch with them, not to be a dev myself but to give feedback. I notice they have made other games but this is only their second 3D game ever from what I can tell.

I don't actually mind these kinds of games ("Holy shit I love this kind of cake") and from what SuperHorrorBro could glean from the first chapter I actually kind of like what they're putting down story-wise. I uhhh kind of forgor 💀 already what exactly it was, but like... there's some kids that got trapped in a pit during a trip, and they're being kept in by the creatures for some reason, and there's implications that an employee sabotaged something/someone to purposefully set in motion whatever the hell happened to this place... it was more interesting than my bad description probably makes it sound, I swear.

But um. Yeah. If this game was created in earnest then it would be wonderful if more people were actually willing to help them see their idea through in better quality, rather than just shitting all over them and accusing them of ruining an entire genre somehow etc etc.

Despite the fact that they would unfortunately probably face greater harassment for it, I'm still hoping that it is an earnest game because that would actually be the non-scummy outcome, I think.

[hurtyknees]

I think Josh Sauchak is one of my favorite examples of Explicitly Autistic Characters In Media.

Obviously, he's not a *perfect* example, because at the end of the day there are still cliches he falls into (being white, cis, pretty young, etc etc etc) but IMHO he's not insufferable, or an offensive caricature (like Sheldon - even tho they have a lot of basic similarities- or Sia's Music ™).

All that being said, here are things i appreciate in the way Josh's character was made:

1. He's an actual adult.

A lot of people who are much smarter than me talked about how shitty it is to infantilize neurodivergent people. And they're right; it annoys me to no end when people who are close to The Autistic Character™ treat them like a child, with no agency of their own. WD2 doesn't do that!

(some could argue that Sitara does it. I'd disagree; It goes with how her character is set up - she cares deeply about her friends, and goes out of her way to make sure they're okay. She's protective. Not just towards Josh, but Marcus, the Unnamed Friend from the Moscow Gambit mission, off the top of my head.)

There's only one person i can think of who explicitly infantilized Josh and treated him less like a person, and more like a pet. And that's Lenny. Y'know, someone who game tried very hard to let us know we're NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE.

and - SPOILER - it did bite her in the ass at the end, didn't it?

2. He's a full, well rounded character.

I'll try to keep it short and sweet- the difference between Josh and Sheldon - the unholy staple of autistic characters - is that Josh doesn't feel flat. At least to me.

He does admit in one of the side missions that autism does have a huge impact on his personality. Now i couldn't find an exact quote, but after Marcus asks him whether or not he'd take part in the "experiments" being held that could supposedly "cure autism", Josh's answer is something along the lines of "only if I could go back from that. I like who i am, and i don't know if I'd like myself without it (the autism)".

Side note- it's genuinely so uplifting to see an autistic character and people around them not treating neurodivergency like some fucking curse. It happens way too often.

But yeah, going back to the point- Josh has a full, fleshed out personality. He's passionate, self aware, can be absolutely hilarious, and doesn't let other people walk over him. But he also holds himself to very high standards, and can be really harsh on himself if he doesn't meet them.

3. How he's treated by others.

I touched on that briefly before, but i simply love every interaction Josh has with others.

They treat him so normally, that in media where neurodivergent people are more often than not treated like aliens this felt extremely refreshing.

Dedsec members don't baby him as mentioned above, but they also don't get mad when he doesn't understand something, or - in his head - fucks something up.

(And honestly, that applies to everyone in Dedsec. I was so scared that the writers are gonna go for the lowest hanging fruit- do something that will make the group temporarily fall apart. But they didn't. Not when Marcus had his big fuckup at !nvite, not when Ray showed up. They stuck together. And didn't dwell on each other's mistakes.)

TLDR; it fascinates me to no end how media that treat themselves so insanely seriously fail at being inclusive, but Watch Dogs 2 - the game that took a giant U-turn from being that, after seeing how first game was received - has had some of the most genuine, heartfelt, casual representation I've seen in a long time.

Again, it's not perfect. But it's honest and down to earth. It didn't treat marginalized communities it included instrumentally.

I just love this game so much.

[sixthwater]

🎟️Synastry and: the Friends IV🎟️

I deadass forgot my childhood friend and the fact that I finally got her chart let's ignore that though

Note: This is using and based off of personal experience, I will be using specific people and referencing them throughout the post

Me & ✈️'s placements

☉: Cancer / Pisces ☽: Taurus / Libra ☿: Cancer / Pisces ♀: Cancer / Aquarius ♂: Virgo / Leo

I really can't think of any media to relate back to us, but shuri & t'challa are the closest thing really because we're both smart-asses we love venusian moons!!!!!!

💺Overlays

Mutual Sun, Mercury & Venus in 1st House

Now, using placidus this is cutting it close because ✈️ is right on the edge of my 2nd house but I'm going to interpret it as 1st because I get more of those vibes. We both tend to support the other in whatever path we want to take, or lift the other up when we're down. I was not the popular kid in school, while she was. Our parents befriended each other since we lived across the street and that's how we met and we vibed pretty well because I knew how to leave her alone and she knew how to be 'careful' with me. So whenever she noticed me pulling away, being awkward, or heading off because of this reason (too much crowding), she would go out of her way to make sure I was comfortable and I knew she wasn't bothered by me being there and if anyone had a problem then they had a problem with her too--praising or uplifting qualities that she liked in me that she said was hard to find in others, and that I shouldn't change to make others feel comfortable. Which helped me be more confident within myself and honest, and found out that her friends (which eventually became mine) actually found that side of me funny and liked it. Meanwhile, there were dreams and passions of hers that she wanted to pursue that people usually clowned her for and she usually didn't bring them up too much unless she played along with them. However I usually just let her talk and pushed her to keep pursuing it if it made her happy and joined in the activities while sometimes joking around on what she's going to put on her resume when she applies for stuff.

*It's important to note that her Saturn is also placed within my first house as well, meaning that I can sometimes feel like I have to 'reach her level' at times (popularity and social battery). This cools down the blind worship (by paramore) and can help how I'm viewing things so I'm not tilting too far in either way.

**Special note to remember our Descendants. Hers being Capricorn and mine being Leo. She was known to always have people around her, and get along with many groups, and always have people fawning over her. Meanwhile, I had my own group of friends but I wasn't really a socialite, I could be seen as shy until you get to know me, and you could say that I took school kind of seriously minus the depression. With some generational planets being placed in her 7th, venusian moon, and an Aquarius venus, it makes sense for her to like my company. For me, I only having my rising, and it highly depends on the rest of the chart if I like Leo influenced people, so very lucky for us.

Me: Moon in 11th / ✈️: Moon in 8th

Best-friends!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm going to be honest, I don't necessarily feel the descriptor depth of the 8th overlay here for us, but then again people are very weird about the 8th house. Honestly I just appreciate this overlay for our relationship because it creates a very relaxed friend vibe? Truly we have only texted each other for holidays, or when she planned a trip when I was stuck in a shitty job and couldn't see her, but we both know if we ever needed the other for something then it's a no brainer and we would do it. There's no like, 'I'd DIE for you' feeling here but there's a bond that's been made that's not going to be broken over something small lmao. I know there's some thoughts, feelings, and incidents that other people definitely don't know about that she's trusted me with, and I've spent hours over at her house just doing absolutely nothing and never really felt bored.

Me: Mars in 4th / ✈️: Mars in 7th

Very interesting overlay. As you've read a dozen times now: we are childhood friends. So I've interacted with a good amount of her family, and when we were young adults her aunt had told me about the influence I had over a relative of hers. I also was basically adopted by their family and practically always forced to come to family events because I was family after a certain point. Interestingly enough, I'm not a very pro-active person when it comes to other people's business, unless it's like, a concern lmao. The basis here is that depending on the aspects or the native's chart themselves, if you're the Mars person and it's a 4th overlay, you can either positively impact the 4th house's family relations or really mess it up and I'm sure you'll know Immediately which one it is. As for the 7th overlay, it kinda was the same thing? No one ever second-guessed that she would be invited to anything I was hosting that would need invitation, before I even got around to figuring out how I wanted to go about it, it was just 'yeah she's coming'. It's also to be noted that she's usually the one that is visually seen as dominant from an outside perspective (we're both very chill but if we had to pick one, it'd be her), but that's about it for the 7th house.....I really don't pick up on 7th house overlays for a bitch that has a lot of them

🛰️Aspects

OKAY THE FUN PART. We don't have a lot to scream about, which can attribute to why our relationship is so detached, but what is interesting is that we have a lot of creative aspects at tight degrees:

Me > ✈️

Sun Biquintile Mercury Moon Quintile Mercury Jupiter Quintile Chiron Jupiter Sextile Moon Chiron Biquintile Venus

etcetc, the rest of our aspects are about 4-5 degrees or more, or other minor aspects. Obviously we take the major aspects above these minor ones, but I just thought that, with two Venusian moons who want to follow a creative/healing path for their careers, to have these aspects between them? That's really interesting that's madly wild and I want to explore that.

I've also stated earlier before about our descendants and how we gravitated towards each other but it helps that with our natal chart and how they're working separately, it helps us navigate the waters when dealing with each other. With how I talked about my brother, we both know how to not be clingy with the other, while also showing care for each other at the same time. Sometimes less is more for certain placements or combinations.

With her Cancer rising and Pisces mercury, she can draw people in because she seems very soft and fragile, however her Aquarius venus, Leo Mars, and Cap DSC has a very big bite once she lets you in. Her Libra moon does a good job of balancing appearance and snark too, so people tend to forget that her water placements are still there and she can still get hurt. Meanwhile my Aquarius rising, Virgo mars and 6th stellium can be off putting because I don't necessarily let people in very easily and am Radiating nervous, tense energy. Plus my Saturn in 1st combined with all of that makes it seem like I'm put together and I can handle myself and I'm highly critical. Then you get underneath that and find all of my Cancer placements, Taurus moon, plus my Leo DSC, meaning that I'm just a big baby who wants attention. So with our charts already dealing with similar energies and being able to tell what the other person needs, and when, it really helps us be able to navigate our friendship a lot easier than other relationships that, on paper, should be working out. And That's Why Natal Charts Are Still Important In Synastry.

We don't really keep in contact too much, but when we do it's like we never stopped texting each other and she's still one of the first people that come to mind when I list off some of the closest people to me. ~Just Aquarius placement things~

[ga-yuu]

Display of His Unrequited Love~Yoichi Story

Today I came to Kamakura for a reconnaissance mission-----

(And there you are. Of course, I'd see you if I come to the town you live.)

(But why do we keep running into each other like this, huh?)

I spotted Yoshino selling medicines to people on the street and my mouth twitched into a small smile.

(....I'm very well aware that I love you.)

(But you are on the Shogunate's side, basically my enemy. There is no room for personal feelings here.)

That's why I've been trying to put a lid on these feelings.

Just then, I saw one of the customers put his arm around Yoshino's shoulder and leaned close to her inappropriately.

I sighed.

Yoichi: "----Okay. Oni-san, would you mind taking your hands off my girlfriend?"

Instead of turning back, I went in to help.

Yoshino: "Eh, Yoichi-san!?"

The man waves awkwardly and walks away seeming uncomfortable.

Yoshino: "T-Thank you."

Despite her confusion, Yoshino still thanked me properly.

(Haa...and that's something I like about you.)

Yoichi: "Haa...no matter what you do, I just keep falling harder.."

Yoshino: "Hm?"

Yoichi: "Are you free? Wanna join me for lunch?"

..........

(And just like that, I brought you here.)

(Then again, if I leave you there, that man might come back again.)

At first, Yoshino looked slightly unconvinced.

But after realizing she has no other choice, Yoshino quietly nodded and now is sitting next to me eating her dumplings.

While watching her from the corner of my eye, I eat my dumplings.

Yoichi: "Hiraizumi has the best dumplings, but the ones in Kamakura aren't bad either."

Yoshino: "Yoichi-san really loves Hiraizumi, doesn't he?"

Yoichi: "I do?"

Yoshino: "Yes...when you talk something about Hiraizumi, your eyes soften more than usual."

(...WHy are you smiling like that?)

I thought Yoshino looked kinder and soon I sighed again.

Yoichi: "Do you think I'm kind, like you?"

Yoshino: "Well, you helped me a while ago, so yes. Just a little bit."

Yoichi: "That makes me happy."

Although it's just small talk, it's really uplifting.

(I seriously don't feel normal when I talk to you.)

Unconsciously, I sighed again.

Yoshino: "That's the third time."

Yoichi: "Hm?"

Yoshino: "He has been sighing since he saw me...Maybe, lovesick?"

Yoichi: "..."

Yoshino: "Oh my! ...did I say that aloud?"

Yoshino laughed like it was a little joke and looked away shyly when she saw me frozen.

(...Seriously, this woman.)

To my surprise, she pointed out my sickness exactly.

The back of my chest tingled sweetly.

I quickly ate the remaining dumplings and stood up.

Yoshino: "Are you leaving already?"

Yoichi: "Yeah. What? Are you lonely without me?"

Yoshino: "No....I-I mean, maybe a little bit. But, thank you very much for today."

Yoshino looks up at me and smiles brightly.

In response, I bend down and...whispered to her lightly.

Yoichi: "Yoshino. Next time we meet, I'm seriously taking you to Hiraizumi."

Yoshino: " ! Eh..."

Yoichi: "You won't ever feel lonely when we are together in Hiraizumi, right?"

I grinned and stroked Yoshino's head, who is blushing.

Yoichi: "Until next time. I hope you give me a good answer."

Yoshino: "Mm..."

When I chuckled, Yoshino turns completely red.

(I think it would be quicker if I run away with you right now.)

I felt myself getting more serious than I had realized.

[thisdreamplace]

Can you help me please? I'm crying so hard right now, and feel like I have no one to vent to. So, I sent something about my SP recently. You said I should turn the focus to myself and so I did. Thing is I was feeling overwhelmed, and quite sad because uncertainty about how my SP was doing was killing me, especially because he said he was not feeling well. I clearly couldn't focus because I still am in that state of abandonment and uncertainty.

It has triggered many of my past traumas. I'm doing efforts to uplift myself everytime I need it, but yesterday I couldn't stop crying because of him, so I texted him asking if he was okay, he didn't answer obviously. Today I have been so anxious, and 3D is showing me so many happy couples, some of them are people I had the chance to date before my SP. All of them moved on so quickly and easily from me (that's how it makes me feel) and it feels so painful how it seems so easy for others and I don't know how to make it easy for myself. I wish I could also be over someone and immediately replace them.

Whenever I turn the focus to myself, I have feelings of wanting to drop my SP, which is not what I truly want. I want him to be with me. But I feel like dropping him would be so freeing and easy for my own health. At this point after begging for answers I feel very humilliated. I wish he could've at least tell me to stop bothering him. I want to move out of my country and start all over, tbh. Like if you saw that chat, you'd feel pity for me. I have had people acting with me how I am acting right now, and always thought: "wow, how desperate" and now I am the desperate one. But I didn't do it because I wanted attention, I kinda just wanted to tell him that I'm worried.

How can I deal with the uncertainty of this ghosting thing and stop putting the blame on myself (myself as a human, I am aware that I caused this through my consciousness) and my worth? Also, how to not hate him in the process? Because the more I uplift myself, the more I push myself towards isolation. It's like I am uplifting myself and at the same time isolating OMG that's exactly how I have been feeling. Like I don't want anyone to come close to me. I go on extreme hermit mode. I may need a psychologist 🤦‍♀️

Ps. I may have seemed very negative, but I actually feel like something beautiful will come out of the current situation I am going through. I know I will have grown in so many ways, and it makes me excited to see myself after all this. I just need to organize my mess. 💕

This ask really touched me. There's a part of me that has felt the exact way that you have felt, many times on this journey. Like truly, down to the every last word you shared. So in that way I want to say you are not alone in this. And it's okay how you're feeling.

This is really heavy, because it's one of those weird moments where you're being called to take even more responsibility for your life... when all you really want to do is break down and cry and know that person is in your life. So, it's best to just cry it out. Let every little thought come up and show itself. Let yourself feel that pain. It's okay. Things come up to the surface so they can be released. So that love can make more way into your life.

I know how it feels to feel so upset with yourself, because you want to move on easily like the rest of the world seems to do. Because other people seem to forget others so easily, and then there's you who can't give up that feeling of wanting to be with that person. That is seriously one of the heaviest feelings. I think it doesn't help that in this world, we are often met with so many ways to judge ourselves harshly. Especially when it comes to love. Like there's so many dating rules and silly games that are encouraged. Even in the manifestation world, there's tons of people who put down sp manifestations. And of course, as you said, you think people would pity you for the way your messages look. You admitted you've even pitied people. But here's the thing. The truth is, I wouldn't think lowly of you if I saw your chat. I wouldn't think you're a person who is so desperate. Because I know how this reality works. No one is out there ignoring you or ghosting you, it's merely a reflection of your inner world. No one ever wants to hurt you on their own. They are just reflecting your inner world. That's all. And I wouldn't shame you for wanting to be with that one specific person. Your desires a promise. Wanting that person is no different than someone who wants a specific job, or a specific house, or anything else specific. It's not right that we think love is something to look down upon, so I won't support that ideology. All of our desires are perfect and all of our desires are perfect for us. They're for us. Your ego may argue, but your Godself knows this is the pure truth.

Here's the thing. I know it's scary to focus on yourself. Truly, I get it fully. You said you feel as though you want to drop him entirely and that's okay. If your desires are a promise, what do you have to lose? Think about it seriously. He's not going anywhere. He's waiting on you! This goes for any desire. Has latching on so tightly helped you up to this point? Sometimes we have to be real with ourselves in this way. What do you have to lose anymore? Your desires are waiting on you to allow them in! And how do you do this? You focus on yourself more. No, this doesn't mean you can never think of him. Just make sure you're the priority. And I think I should explain this better. We're so alike it seems haha Because when you say how the more you focus on yourself, the more you want to shut yourself out. omg I have been in that state so many times. Where I just feel like becoming more closed off from the world. But see, that isn't the kind of focus I am meaning. This isn't about lifting yourself up in an egotistical way. It's the ego who's telling you to hide from the world. It's fear based. When I speak of uplifting yourself it's more about how you begin to build confidence and trust in yourself. Like in these moments, you're trusting this is all working out in your favor somehow. Even though you have no idea how that could be, you're trusting it's working perfectly. Your desires are a done deal. I see that you're already doing that, as you ended your ask mentioning it. So see? You're literally already on the right track!

Start practicing choosing love for yourself more often as well. Most of what you said is truly just judgments on yourself. When we come to the law, we are being asked to practice seeing life through the eye's of God (aka through the eyes of unconditional love). And that includes in how we see ourselves. If our desire is God given, there's nothing wrong with it or you at all. Everything is truly perfect.

Something that has helped me is building trust in myself but also in my desires. Because I know how this world is me pushed out. So therefore, the more I build trust in myself and in my desires, I am only building more and more trust in myself. It's really helped my confidence. Because my desires are just me anyway. I am trusting that my desires are mine. I trust in them. I trust that they will make their way to me, because I am meant for them. Speaking of everyone is you pushed out, I understand it's really difficult and heavy. But try to see your sp doing well. You don't need 3D validation to know how he's doing. You can see him doing well in your mind's eye, as consciousness is the only reality in the first place. The truth is, you have got to practice self-validation more. You don't need him to text you to know that he's in love with you and that he's safe. You get to decide that. You don't need the 3D to validate you, to become validated in how your desires are yours. You seriously get to decide that for yourself. You can validate yourself, right now. The very fact we desire something, is validation it's ours already.

I hope you find this helpful and I hope you begin feeling better soon! Not sure if you ever tried it, but Dylan James' suggestion to do a few 10 minutes meditations during the day as well as a to-do list are truly so helpful. To help you re-stabilize and get back on track when you're ready to. There's really nothing wrong with take some days off to cry and just let it all out when you need to. When you feel ready to get refocused, you'll be coming back stronger than ever. 💖

[kirishwima]

I know that Zen has a brother, but since he hates him... what about an AU where Zen has a second sibling whom he does have more appreciation for (even if maybe they haven't talked much since Zen left). This sibling is now MC. How does Zen feel about them dating each of the other love interests? Prefably Yoosung, Jaehee, Saeyoung and Jumin. (If you don't like AU requests please ignore this!)

ohh this is such a cute idea! i can absoloutely imagine Zen being a super protective brother...hmm, for the sake of this headcanon, let’s assume that

a) Zen is MC’s older brother and

b) He has kept in contact with them, albeit not much-they talk through the phone and skype but he hasn’t seen his sibling face to face in years. Lastly

c) Let’s assume MC is now an adult too, maybe a couple years younger than Zen, and lives on their own independant from their and Zen’s family.

So without further ado~ Zen’s reactions to his little sibling dating the RFA!

YOOSUNG:

* Honestly, when Yoosung realizes the person that invaded their chat room is Zen’s sibling, he’s more excited than shocked. They’ll have so much blackmail material on Zen, he figures with glee!

* Well, then he understands the true situation-how difficult it was for Zen and MC to keep in touch after Zen ran away, how Zen’s actually grateful that MC stumbled upon this messenger so he could re-establish his relationship with them.

*Yoosung’s very supportive and friendly, and Zen is happy to see his friend is this invested-although whenever Yoosung compares MC to Rika Zen does get angry-his sibling is kind and gentle too, yes, but they’re not Rika! Why can’t he realize that?!

*Still, when Yoosung goes to the Mint Eye HQ, when he gets hurt all for the sake of protecting MC-when he professes his love to Zen’s sibling, he can’t bring himself to oppose this relationship.

*Although when Yoosung kisses MC in the middle of the party hall in front of everyone-boy, Zen is there in an instant tugging Yoosung away from his little sibling by that blond fluff hair of his, giving him a disapproving glare. 

*Jokes aside, from everyone his sibling could’ve ended up with from the RFA...he’s glad it was Yoosung. He trusts his friend, and knows he’ll cherish MC with all his heart.

JAEHEE:

* She’s more than shocked to find out that Zen’s sibling, of all people, is the one that ended up in the RFA chatroom.

* Of course, she’s still very weary of them, but can’t help but ask a myriad of questions about Zen, his childhood, what MC remembers of Zen’s singing and so on and so forth.

* It doesn’t help that in a sense, Zen and MC are similar-sure, they have similar features since they’re related, but more than that some of MC’s mannerisms, the way they text sometimes, there’s little things that make Jaehee go ‘ah, so this really is Zen’s sibling’

* When she begins to fall for MC, she takes a step back from her feelings to try and analyse them-is she attracted to MC as MC, or is this a manifestation of her infatuation with Zen’s career? 

* But with every supportive comment and uplifting word MC sends Jaehee’s way, Jaehee realizes that no, this has nothing to do with Zen-she’s in love with MC and their bright infectious energy, and wants them to know that.

* Before deciding to tell MC about her coffee shop dream, before asking MC to move in with her, she first decides to talk to Zen about it; he’s their brother so he’d be the best person to gauge MC’s reaction to it, and honestly, his approval would mean a lot to Jaehee.

*Well, Zen’s honestly more than happy to give the two his blessing-he adores Jaehee and thinks she’s honestly a perfect fit for his little sibling, and from what he sees in the chatroom, he knows MC feels the same way about Jaehee. 

* He does become a regular at their coffee shop though, and honestly...he’s happy for the two of them. Genially, honestly happy.

JUMIN:

* Now....now this is tricky.

* When he notices MC getting friendly with Jumin in the chatrooms, and worse, when he sees Jumin reciprocate this friendliness to MC-Zen immediatly calls his sibling and tells them to knock it off.

* Sadly, an arguement ensues, and harsh words are exchanged-MC tells Zen that if he hasn’t tried being a part of their life for so long except for the ocassional phone call, then he doesn’t get a say in who MC talks or flirts with, and Zen tells them that he regrets MC ever finding the RFA chatroom.

* The atmosphere is tense to say the least in the RFA chatroom the following days, but oddly enough-it’s Jumin that manages to calm the siblings down.

* He reminds them of the value of family, and tells them it’s a blessing that they have managed to reunite through this app, even putting his own matters aside that he deals with in his route to help the two make up again. He even says that if him being this friendly with MC is something that genially bothers Zen, he’ll stop, since he’d never want to be the reason a family breaks apart.

* Given all this, Zen finds it hard to stay mad at Jumin-and begrudgingly tells MC that if they want to get closer with Jumin, they can, but that they shouldn’t come crying to him when they find out he’s just a cat-obsessed idiot.

* When MC goes to Jumin’s house and stays with him for a few days, Zen is SHOOKETH-he will not stop calling and texting and threatening Jumin with all sorts of unspeakable acts if he dares hurt or upset his little sibling.

* Jumin is confused at that-how could he ever dare hurt MC? He cherishes them! But telling Zen so only made the white-haired man more furious, much to Jumin’s dismay.

* When Jumin decides he’ll propose to MC at the party, he finds it only right to talk with Zen beforehand, since he can’t really go to their parents straight away-it’s only right he asks for MC’s brother’s blessing in this, isn’t it?

* Well...Zen vehemently refuses. At least, he does, until Jumin sits down with him and seriously explains his intentions towards MC, how he genially loves them and wants to be with them for the rest of his life. Zen is still worried, and tells Jumin that he thinks it’s way too early...but honestly, when has anything Jumin done ever been normal?

* So begrudgingly, Zen nods along, telling Jumin that if he ever dares hurt MC he’ll smite him with his own two hands.

* Jumin merely smirks at that. “If I ever hurt them, I’d smite me myself” he says, and well, that’s good enough for Zen lol

SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG:

*Hmm...when he sees how well MC’s humor matches with Luciel’s, Zen is confused, but he doesn’t really pay much mind to it-so his sibling made a friend in the RFA, that should make him happy right?

*But the longer Seven seems to unfold his true self within the chatroom, the more concerned Zen gets-he fears MC is getting sucked into a situation they might be unable to handle, and if they’re put in danger because of Seven...he doesn’t even want to begin to imagine that.

* When Seven admits that there’s a bomb in the apartment, and that he has to go there himself to fix the security program and protect MC, Zen immediatly calls him, cursing him intently. How dare he put Zen’s sibling in this sort of danger?! Zen vehemently insists Seven should give him the adress to the apartment ASAP so he can go take MC out of there himself, and gets more and more furstrated whenever Seven shuts him down.

* Furstrated and unable to do something of worth, Zen’s stuck calling MC every hour, checking in on them and how they’re doing, even begging them to give him the adress instead of Seven-but his sibling insists they want to trust Seven and his actions, and as much as it breaks Zen’s heart, there’s little he can do about it.

* When Seven admits his truth to the RFA-his real name, Saeyoung, his lost twin brother, and his profession of love towards MC; Zen’s a mess. He’s happy his friend has found the strength to be himself, but to involve Zen’s family in it all...still, he sees in the photo Seven sent how MC is happy standing beside Seven, how they’re confident in their words and their trust in him. 

* Zen can’t help but accept this relationship. He’ll never stop being worried, and he’ll watch over the two like a hawk, ready to swoop in if MC is ever put in any danger, but he knows Seven will protect MC with his life if he must, and that, at least, puts Zen’s mind at ease.

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions!-

[asparklingdiamond]

the rpc could use some uplifting right now, so, who are three of your favorite people in the community? and then who is someone you don't know well but would like to be friends with?

my favorite people in the rpc are definitely my babes @youcancallmepookiebear @elizadoolittlewrites @madi-writes @jcsefinepettersen and @dcampbellofrp. i cannot possibly pick just three of them, so sorry for breaking the rules a little bit! :p they’re literal angels on this earth, and i adore them with my entire heart and want nothing but the absolute best things for them always 💜💜💜💜💜 there’s also @batdadrph @robbaerywrites and @theprettywinchesterdiaries who i also love even though we don’t talk as often, but seeing them post always brings some sunshine onto my dash, as well as @carterrps who i’ve recently gotten to know better and have really enjoyed writing and talking with!! 

as for who i don’t know very well, but would like to be friends with or at least get to know better, i’d say @agaywad @loriisms @argotas @aricnagbutera @candiceaccolarps-- and so many others!! pretty much anyone who’s on my dash and constantly in my activity, i’ve noticed you and have a lot of affection for you even if i don’t talk to you!!! 

quick side note: honestly i don’t really immerse myself into the entire rp community; i’m just here to write with my friends and reblog inspo for my characters, but if i can offer some advice to anyone here who might be having a rough time right now, i would say to surround yourselves with good, positive people who are lifting you up rather than constantly bringing you down. trust your gut. it’s 2019, and the time for toxic friendships needs to be over, so please just practice some self love and if you feel you have people in your life that are bringing more negative energy to you rather than taking away or lessening your anxieties and every day stresses, you need to seriously consider whether that person is worth having in your life at all! this is roleplay, a hobby, but it’s also a place where many of us come to escape from real life bs we all deal with. it should not be causing you more harm than good. so i hope whatever is going on gets resolved and you all find some peace. 💜

[misscinico]

Indigenous Representation in Animated Movies

You know me, always making articles about people of color and their representation in media, specifically animated media for children. So I decided to focus on indigenous representation and which characters are good and bad representation in fairly well-known movies. This isn't in any particular order either.

For this list, I chose heroines that have heritage from a country that is predominantly industrialized because of the conquest of a foreign culture. Mainly tribes where they no longer speak their original language and there race is no longer the majority even though they are the natives of that land. The typical assumption of "indigenous peoples" mostly involving the Americas and American territories.

Side Note: If you don't like political correctness or really just the sensitivities of people of color, you probably won't like reading this article. Also this is just my personal opinion I really don't mind If you think differently.

Nita - Nita is a heroine that is often overlooked despite being from a largely successful and well-know company, Disney. I personally think she is probably the best indigenous representation of this list, even if she isn't necessarily my favorite, she is one of them. Nita is kind, brave, funny and an overall interesting a human character to watch that is a great Inuit role-model. She drives a plot, she makes her own decisions and her culture is taken seriously and not presented as a novelty. She also is presented as a daughter of the chief which is the princess-esque position of power that is extremely common in cartoons. The movie doesn't really showcase that too much, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing since Nita really is her own character despite the trope she fits into. She gets a perfect score 10/10. It's only a shame that she isn't more well known.

Pocahontas - This representation is probably the most polarizing. Pocahontas is based off of a real American legend the chief's daughter Matoaka most commonly known as Pocahontas (meaning Little Mischief). Since this is a greatly romanization of history it's seen as poor representation. I'm under the person belief that so long as the movie isn't presented a fact that it's a harmless fictional rendering of the story. Pocahontas is actually one of my favorite Disney Princesses if not my favorite. Even though I think her character is great, being a strong independent woman with a recognizable position, I can't deny that her representation is brought down by the sheer insensitivity of the real historical figure. While there's nothing wrong with her character in particular the the fact there wasn't much consideration for the Powhatan people's historical figures demotes Pocahontas to about 7/10 ranking. Not bad, but could be improved solely based on context.

Nani - She's a wonderful character taking care of Lilo and trying her best to be a hard worker for her sister's sake. Someone actually being portrayed as a human trying to make ends meet. She's a fine character even if she doesn't do anything particularly extraordinary. The only problem I really have with her portrayal is that it seem like she will lose Lilo in the end if it weren't for others. She's seen as poor and unfortunate and the situation doesn't really care about her heritage. This isn't a bad thing, because it's true, in Hawai'i a lot of Natives struggled with poverty and being taken care of by the government. It's important to showcase this and it's great that it was done like this, but role-model wise is kind of paints a negative image more so than a uplifting one. Nani still gets a 9/10 ranking, because she was excellently done, but she's not a perfect score because of her being seen as kind of the downtrodden.

Moana - Her representation is a lot like Nita's except she's also the main character. Similar to Pocahontas, but not insensitive toward the real event of colonization. The culture represented in this movie is extremely well-done in this movie, probably the best of any Disney or animated movie in general. Being Polynesian myself it's one of my favorites and one of the movies I have the least amount of problems with. Moana gets a 10/10 ranking. Disney did great work with this one.

Tiger Lily - This representation is egregious. Honestly the whole "red man" bit is stereotypical and, depending on how you look at it, racist. Tiger Lily herself is rather cute and is portrayed as a noble character who also is also kind of an adventure piece. It fits the narrative of "the noble savage" and the save the girl and get rewarded for it. It's almost worse because she's a child and yet she's treated like the native "sex piece" trope. Seeing native girls as trophies more so than characters or people. Tiger Lily isn't completely unjustifiable though. Like I said she has noble moments (even if they can be seen as stereotypical) and she does have fun and dance like a child. Still her representation is extremely poor. Her ranking is 4.5/10 and I think that's being generous.

Chel - Chel can often be written off as a sex piece character too. After all she clearly partakes in it and users her sexuality quite often. The only difference as she's not presented as a trophy. She is her own character, she actually does drive the plot, and she has her own plans. Her use of her sexuality is entirely her own decision. Does this empower her or is it still poor representation because the authors are taking away any modesty she could have simply for the purpose of making her eye candy. Nothing wrong with some sexy character design, but she's also a side character and a thief. It's not a very positive light and definitely not a good role-model. All of the main characters are thieves, so can that be overlooked as well? I don't know, because she's definitely her own character that in a sense goes for what she wants and is portrayed as human with flaws. She even voiced by a Latina as well (like most of the characters on this list, she's voiced by her own ethnicity). I'd say that her representation needs to be improved, but it's not bad. It isn't anything worth getting upset over for sure. It's a fair portrayal regardless of what her race happens to be. Her ranking is 6/10.

Marama - She is from the Chilean animated movie Ogu and Mampato in Rapa Nui She's a kid that's a side character that's kind of along for the adventure. Overall there's only good things to say about her character. She's smart, funny, a go getter, and she helps progress the film. She isn't overtly mentioned as the chief's daughter, but it is heavily implied. So she has a nice position. She a fine role-model for kids, and the only real thing I could complain about would be her design. She's given blue eyes and light skin. As a Polynesian this isn't the worst though because we can have light eyes and skin, it's just that blue eyes tend to be more of a Melanesian/European trait than Polynesian so it can be seen as white-washing. Overall it's good representation especially from a kids movie that was in a country far removed from Rapa Nui. She gets a 8/10 ranking.

Nakoma - I almost didn't include her, but she is a well-known character in animated media, but there isn't much to say. She's much like Pocahontas, given being in the same movie, she isn't given any real depth or recognizable position, but she's a good character. Representation wise probably better than Pocahontas because she isn't meant to represent a real person in history. Obviously I love Pocahontas much more, but as far as good portrayal Nakoma beats Pocahontas by a fair amount of points. Her ranking is 9/10. She could be a perfect score if she was a main character, but she still has really good role-model traits that I think are often under appreciated.

To read my article in all it’s glory on my original fanpop post click here

[madelineeclairee]

i honestly don't know

and by I don't know this situation pertains to be very complicated. So, I won't spare the romantics and explain absolutely, mostly just for self-evaluation. 

about 5-6 months of it. get comfy. 

In High School, a boy who was a perfect sports star, prized boyfriend, and most of all the nice that guy everyone loved. I wasn't friends with him for a lack of group integration, however, I remember I just wanted to see what he was about. Besides being a pretty boy, I don't know why I wanted to start contact honestly, but he snapchatted me first (haha). I was happy and time went by of us being snapchat friends (wow the fucking world now). So fast forward to the end of the summer, about to go to college, and find out I'm living in the same building with his best friend at school and his 30-second walk from me, and me to him. So, likely, I was thrilled. 

I remember the day I moved in, after speaking during the summer, he stood in the doorway with the light going through golden brown hair and there I stood knowing this would want to make me end my shit (well in the sense that I catching feelings faster than lightning strikes, yes ending my shit was a strong possibility). However, as time moved on I tried to put in an appropriate effort, and try and win him over, a little crush, I’d say. 

However, I find this detail somewhat important, because this is where I saw the boy I knew and how his heart's intentions were always so good. After finding out that his high school girlfriend and he were talking again and I was devasted (like the whole pussy shit crying in the shower thing). And he begged for my forgiveness, without even knowing why I was upset. It was my emotions, as a new friend to him and he begged for forgiveness. And at that moment I saw his purest intentions and this mentality he has to be the good guy and make the people around him happy and to think highly of him. And I'll be completely honest I didn't know at that moment, I was simply confused. not even realzing the beginning of him.

I accepted the apology, and moved with friendship, with the intention to recover from my feelings and transform this relationship to a good old punch on the arm (broooo), (If I don't add humour Ill cry). As time went on our mutual friend that happened to live in my building went through a very tough time that left him out of college and without his best friend. As he described, this was the worst month of his life. It hurts me even thinking about it now and the amount we went through to get our troubled friend safe. And while that was an achieved, this emotionally hit him more than anything ever had. I lost contact for a while thinking that restorative alone time would be good for him (and side note I was fucking wrong about that). And if he was shutting me out, it was easiest for me not to impede on his life, not be a burden, not interfere with his girlfriend. 

I don't exactly remember how our contact resurfaced, but when we were back, we were back. Never in my life have I experienced getting so close to someone in such a short period of time. 

I took him to the bridge to smoke with my friends and to meet new people in a time where he felt so lonely, and this is where he meets the girl. The girl lives with me and I couldn't help but fake the smiles when their connection was apparent. I loved what she did by uplifted him for a while, but something changed. And I'll be honest it's not even pinpointed as to why, but things fell apart. He fell apart. He would cry in my room, in his, in the library and anywhere else his emotions started to get overly intense for him to handle. And this is when it wasn't just my friendship for him, but my fucking will to make him feel happy again. And every time one of the incidents happened it made me cry, I mean yes later, but for some reason when he was emotionally upset I felt and feel this intense sense of empathy and I honestly don't know why. 

After he served ties with the girl, I knew things would change, not just emotionally, but also for our social interactions, but much to my dismay we all hung out as usual, but without the sex intermission at 11pm-12am (somewhere around there). But, it really wasn't much different, besides the underlying love that the girl had for him, which is still present, but not reciprocated. 

Starting to evolve into this new man that respected me and expressed what he felt through words and genuinity. We really did just have this telepathy like response toward each other. We didn't usually need to ask what was wrong because we already knew. I would text him, but I already knew the answers. And I mean this in such a good way even though it sounds boring. And honestly, if you have not had the pleasure of getting that close with someone, you're really missing out.  

A couple weeks ago my friend, him and I all spent a night, obviously fucked up, asking questions and in return giving honest answers about how we really feel about things we never disclosed to each other. It opened so many doors to talk about real shit in our lives and I got to express how much I care about the two of them. But here's a nice plot twist, she wanted to hook up with him (and quick flashback to when he hooked up with her in my suite with the girl, who I live with and there were together at the time, so yeah). And when I asked him about it, and if he was comfortable, and he replied that this would change how the way I would feel about him forever, and proceeded to ask to have a threesome. Yeah, I was surprised, I mean I had so many questions. I had shut out all those underlying feelings I had for him when I watched him talk to his ex, be with my suitemate and hook up with one of my friends (more than once), and they wonder why I call myself a fucking doormat. But, was/is he attracted to me at all that really got me thinking like a lot. All I have wanted since us getting us so close is for him to have an opportunity to feel happy and enjoy life, so I've tried to help any way I can, even when it secretly hurts me. But just by this question, it started the worst thing. It lighted a spark, 

And by a spark, I literally just mean getting wet by the thought of him fucking me, and I do think about it and I'm not the happiest with that at the moment. Being his best friend, I always know first and went I started feeling this way, I started to feel vulnerable because I didn't want him to emotionally put me in a different place. He is someone I can be exactly myself around and I never want to be in the proving myself grey area again because I've done that and I broke down his 10-foot deep wall a long time ago. 

Fast forward to today, His roommate walked in today and said that he knew about him hooking up with my friend and he coerced him to tell his girlfriend everything (well they were “talking”, so I'm not mispeaking, of course). And he did. He made the call, and they are over forever, he is upset with my friend for telling someone about it to get back to his roommate, and he has no intention of getting back with girl. So what does this all mean?

I have explained almost 6 months of content but for what? Stating facts doesn't result in understanding feelings at all, but it does help reevaluate where I am. I love him. I tell him every day and I would do absolutely anything for him, but the question I ask to myself so often is, why? I will always take his side, I will think his problems are way worse than anyone, and I put as a priority in my life to just hear his voice and see him every day.

But this is so much more than that. When he hurts, I hurt. When he cries. I cry. If the world came tumbling down I would single-handedly be a forcefield for him, but fucking why. Usually, the love of the opposite sex is so similar, you meet someone, you talk, and you fall in love with them with persistence, and positive emotion, but this has no development of that relationship. This clear as day friendship has turned sexual on my side because of one thing that's been said (I mean and drunk shit last weekend, but irrelevant).  But truth be told, I don't know how I feel about him. Why I chose for him to be my #1 priority I have no idea. But the fact that I would drop anything and everything for him it just confuses me. It feels like its something in my subconscious that prioritizes him over anything, So basically he hacked my brain with his undeniable charm (awww). 

But I think that my subconscious mind always makes the fight in his defence. I go up against my friends for him because I always just do, without thinking. But one thing I do know, our intentions are aligned like star constellations. We both just want to be happy, while we make the people around us happy, he wants to be free and live his own life, but have someone he can trust and love. And the number of times I've said this to him I realize I just put a big arrow pointing at me, but I seriously don't mean myself. Even though I'm well aware I could make him so happy as my boyfriend, it's just not for him. He needs to take a lap alone. 

He's been involved since mid-high school and his chances to be a stereotypical freshman college boy are now here with no one to worry about. I want him to have the opportunity because he loves sex and that's really supposed to improve mood. And after this, we will still be friends, and there's still time because we aren't going anywhere. But the development of feelings vs friendship bonds is such a fine line and it seems my body language and uncontrollably protective attitude has drawn that line much smaller. 

He is my best friend, I love him, but I need to express the love in the eight fashion and this is what I call a fork in the fucking road.