#i don't regret transitioning but if you think that i'm getting any kind of privilege out of it you're mad

[beaft]

anyway i'm always fascinated by the people who think that trans men transition purely to escape misogyny and gain social capital. idk how it is for other people, but since i transitioned i have not only experienced more misogyny than i ever did before but also lost access to the public spaces and support systems that might have helped me deal with it

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Kinda of transandrophobia examples, kind of just life experiences, but influenced by transness and how people's interpretation of assumed "female" body influences experiences esp when masc/trans. Mostly minor:

I was out as trans mostly just to parents and friends in middle/high school. I went to a summer camp and my mom wouldn't let me sign up for the guys dorms because she was afraid I'd wake up in the middle of being sexually assaulted in the night.

Similarly my mom discouraged me from coming out publically in high school (I kind of ended up doing so but in a way where I was more pseudo closeted? Half in half out? Weird place to be) because she feared I'd face harassment for it.

My mom also mildly discouraging me from being too masculine and to wait until I was older before I cut my hair too short, etc. Called my haircut at one point "dykish" in an "are you sure you know what you're doing and what vibe you're putting out" way

Getting asked by classmates if I was trans or something because I didn't shave my legs. That was the actual reason someone asked

Not even trying to use other changing rooms or bathrooms in high school because I knew I'd be in even more danger if anyone got solid confirmation I was trans. Avoided gym and bathrooms unless absolutely necessary, even going so far as to risk bleeding through my pants to avoid bathrooms

My mother (who despite these examples is generally very supportive of me, she just also happens to be the parent I'm closer to and as such has been more involved with my transition and is nervous for my safety) having to talk my dad into accepting me as trans. (I never came out directly to him, my mom told him after I told her (the second time, long story) and his initial reaction was "I'm not gonna call (me) that". He's gotten much better over time at least

My mom making me wait until college to pursue hormones because of concerns about risk, needing to be convinced into letting me get a binder by my therapist, showing me an article about a (former?) Trans woman who regretted medically transitioning(@ people who think only transmascs detransition/write about it) just weeks before top surgery, and to this day discouraging me from pursuing bottom surgery because of concerns about risk. And she's honestly quite supportive all things considered, there's just so much fear mongering around the dangers and regret rates of transition she's genuinely worried I'll regret things I've been wanting for years or I'll increase my risk of cancer or something.

not an entirely related example, but I got asked out many times in middle and high school as a joke/dare for being a masculine, fat, "girl", which heavily impacts my self worth and self image to this day. And I was the luckiest of my friend group and am otherwise privileged in many ways and really kept my head down in middle and high school.

I am on birth control even though I don't enjoy penetration because even though I personally am low risk of sexual assault for my demographic, low risk for transmascs is higher risk than the average person.

Because I was assumed to be a girl as a kid, my mother and grandmother both taught me at a young age what to do if someone attempts to or succeeds in sexually assaulting me. (I think rates of experiencing sexual assault are honestly comparatively even among genders atp and are influenced more by other aspects such as race and class etc, but the fact that only kids assumed to be girls are raised this way really says something about society)

And I am genuinely a very privileged person. I am lucky enough to have accepting parents who are able and willing to support me monetarily when needed, grew up middle class, I'm white, I currently work in the theatre department of a university in a progressive area. The fact that any of this touched me at all despite the many other privileges I have protecting me really says something

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