#i don't per se mind it as a trope where it was like... actually romantic coded shit

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is hating the "everyone knew they were dating before they did" trope

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[dangermousie]

In which I, of all people, make a post in praise of a love triangle

I hate love triangles. I HATE THEM. They never make any sense to me - either it's an OTP and an interloper (in which case it's not a triangle, go away interloper) or I keep going "make up your damn mind" and "why should I be invested in one ship when you aren't."

But Lost You Forever proves that like any other tropes I am not too fond of (slice of life comes to mind), it's not that I hate the trope per se, it's just that it's almost never done in such a fashion as to satisfy me and when it is...oh boy!

Because the love triangle of Xiao Yao with Tushan Jing and Xiang Liu (sorry, Cang Xuan, I love you, and I am rabid about the fact that the ML of this is not the romantic interest, but you are not ever a contender) makes me RABID. The acting, the writing, the possibilities.

In the first season, I never felt that Xiao Yao was in any truly meaningful way considering Xiang Liu as a choice for any length of time (I don't mean it NEVER occurred to her, I just mean it was little flashes that disappeared quickly.) But in this season, she very much does.

Why do I, the obsessed Jing x XY shipper love it so? Because it so makes character sense.

The reason she largely never considered him in s1 was because by the time any such consideration could occur, she already allowed Shiqi in her heart. There are flashes of what-if and the sexual chemistry with XL is off the charts, but she is hopeful and happy with Jing, she's experiences the giddiness of first love and first mutually accepted desire with him. XL is a what-if but a not a particularly longed-for one, if it makes sense.

But in this season, Jing broke her heart (whether she should have that attitude is a separate question of course, but she does and so here we are.) Which means that XY, heartbroken over Jing, has a little space and here is where it all starts coming rushing in vis-a-vis XL.

I love this because this is so so so so human and so realistic. As I was mentioning to @aysekira - despite demanding unrealistic permanent constancy of her loved ones, despite needing them frozen in amber forever, XY herself is not like that because few people are and it's healthy actually and she's healing! (Yes, Jing is not like that but to me that is actually a sign of how broken he is. Separate tangent tho.) And so yes, it's so human to, after a relationship ended, mourn and grieve but also on some level open your heart to other possibilities.

I genuinely believe that if Xiang Liu allowed himself to be with her, she would move on from Jing and be happy and fall in love with XL fully and eventually Jing be merely a memory in the corner of her heart (pleasant or sad, depending.) Just as if/when she and Jing get back together, she will move on about XL and he will be a memory the same way.

And it doesn't cheapen her feelings or their feelings or anything. It's just life. We are the sum of our choices.

I hate hate hate the concept of fated soulmates, of one perfect soulmate destined by fate. That's lazy writing, that's a crutch when you can't narratively show WHY these characters should be together.

And this show gets that. It gets it so well.

She could have been happy with Jing. She could have been happy with XL. Maybe in some other universe she met someone else entirely and was happy with them. Alternatively, if she remained a spoiled and petted princess of Haoling, she'd have never looked at Jing and most likely never looked at XL and they may not have liked her either (look at Nian - you cannot imagine either of the men liking her.)

Just as if Jing was never tortured into near-dissolution of his self by his brother, he would have been a very different person and not capable of winning her heart or caring to, or if XL had a different life, same.

There are so many possibilities and paths and choices and the fact that the drama gets it is one of the best things about it.

We watch Xiao Yao heal and grow up (in a way, she's so emotionally stunted due to trauma, we are watching her going through her teen years in some ways - figuring out who she is and what and who she wants.) And I love that one of the ways she figures out who she wants is by looking at what kind of life she can have with that person.

Anyway, this drama is a MASTERPIECE.

The end.

[gothicprep]

thoughts related to how disney rewrites romance in their remakes & why nobody seems to be happy with those creative choices

what was initially at issue in the criticism that was raised about the romances here seemed less to do with unrealistic or forced romance, per se, and much more to do with just awful relationships where the awfulness is presented as the romantic part. this is an extremely well-worn topic in girl spaces online, especially in feminist literature/posts, the idea that romance in movies gives women warped ideas of what types of relationships should be acceptable. if you think about nearly any move from before 2013, and quite a few afterwards, the romance element of it is very likely to be just genuinely fucked up, and you can look back at movies from even the 2000s and think "whoa, what the fuck were they thinking" when it comes to the things they presented as acceptable and romantic or just fun normal flirtation.

women are the ones who talk about this the most, but i don't think it affects just women. a 2002 movie called 40 days and 40 nights is about a man who goes without sex for lent, and at the climax of him nearly making it without sex, he gets raped by his ex. of course, he's a man and this is 2002, so the movie doesn't think it's a big deal and he actually has to apologize to his girlfriend because she thinks he lied to her when it comes to having sex with his ex. but literally, he gets restrained in his bed and she forces herself on him. this was the kind of thing that successful mainstream movies of the time thought were okay to portray.

here's a more famous example though, and less dramatic. but the notebook. this is has been on many top chick flicks lists, but like, the guy's way of getting the girl to date him in the first place is horrifically manipulative, with that ferris wheel scene where he's like "date me or i'll drop from this ferris wheel and die and kill myself lol". the presentation is all very romantic.

something like beauty and the beast or other parts of the disney canon are relatively tame examples. the truth is, this stuff is everywhere. in terms of how it effects women, it's gone from beating a dead horse in some spaces to playing in its cremated ashes. in terms of how it affects men, i think in some ways, some men may get the idea that some of the ways women might treat them in relationships are okay because "it's just how women are" or "it's harmless just get over it lol" when lots of tv relationships portray men getting Hilariously Slapped And Punched For Something By An Extremely Angry Girl Who Gets Angry For No Reason But It's Okay (this is also a very prevalent trope in anime). mind you, I'm not the position to say how men have their perspectives warped by this kind of thing, but i assume if there's some really widespread trends, someone's gonna bring it up.

[kae-karo]

Writer asks: 12 and 13, 30, 31, and 32?

AEWIN HELLO HI THANK U 🙏🙏 and thank u as well dear anon !!!! for context (x)

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

u know if u had told me before encountering zhongchi that i would fall in love with eggs/ovipos i would've told u u were out of ur mind but here we are lmao

ngl i think i also wasn't super into the idea of enemies to lovers in my og fandom? which makes sense cause i wrote phanfic and for me it just didn't make sense that they'd be enemies at all to begin with? but then i got hit with dabihawks and hoooooo boy now i adore enemies to lovers lmao

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

honestly i don't think i've lost my taste for anything in particular that i didn't already dislike? like i am truly struggling to come up with anything i liked at one point and now am not so into (even just like a shift to neutrality over liking it) and i am entirely at a loss lmao

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

yes absolutely !!!! the first time i wrote smut was a huge jump outside my comfort zone, and we all know how that turned out over time lmao. i tried out a bit of a wonky sci fi tale many moons ago and i think that really helped me solidify a base to build my emotional writing skills on.

near the end of my first fandom writing stretch, i switched from first person to 3rd person, and that basically...became my entire mode of writing from that point on. coincidentally, it helped me build new skills in eliciting strong emotions without relying on the benefits of first person narration

then when i switched fandoms, i tried my hand at my very first multi-ship fic, which sort of became the basis of some of the works and worlds i'm most proud of, and helped me flex my muscles with integrating relationships beyond just the main pairing into a story

this was also the first fandom for which i wrote stories that didn't have a happy ending (after living in a world where i promised happy endings, always) - ultimately i think this let me feel more comfortable exploring less wholesome emotions? not that everything i had before was wholesome, but being able to tell a story and be okay with it not having a happy ending was an interesting door to prop open [insert 'this is a surprise tool that'll help us later' image lmao]

i also pushed my worldbuilding limits in this fandom to produce what i consider one of my most complex fics from a worldbuilding perspective, it really tested my skills both in the art of translating canon lore to a unique world and investing in another multi-ship fic with 4 prominent romantic ships and at least 2 prominent platonic relationships, plus a myriad of less intensive platonic and familial relationships - overall i think that really helped me get a handle on worldbuilding in less complex scenarios? as well as incorporate tangential relationships to enhance a story or world

i also stretched my skills in canon-adjacent worldbuilding/future fic, which was a new territory to try to worldbuild in, so i had a lot of work around problem-solving within canon based on the path i was trying to go with the story. it ended up being an interesting dive into character study and analysis that lent itself well to what i consider a 'standard' method now for testing out new ships - starting in canon, with a scenario that interests me but wouldn't be wildly out of place in canon, and using that as a jumping point to get a handle on the dynamic. this was also my first attempt at ot3 fic, so that was good practice for future 3somes :)

shortly after i started writing genshin fic, i had an idea that really tested me quite a bit, partly because someone actually left quite an unkind comment and it made me reflect on the story - and what upset me wasn't their comment, per se, but that they discovered something about my story that, once i saw it, felt lacking. i think that although it was an uncomfortable situation, ultimately that helped me reflect more on my character arcs and motivations, and it's actually very much standard practice now when i get stuck somewhere while writing to pace out a character's motivation to help me keep my focus on their arc

long after i got into genshin, i wrote a fic for a character without a name. like. a whole entire almost 7k of a story where the pov character has no name. this taught me nothing cause i literally did it again lmao

i will also toss in my general cop-out commentary that any time i write a new pairing, it's outside my comfort zone! and it's always a good way to stretch my thoughts and approaches as i consider the nuances of a new dynamic, and i think it helps me too in looking at characters and dynamics i've written before with new skills in my pocket

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

hmm probably in the ~15k range? i feel like that's where i have enough range to really fully flesh out an idea and go through a broader story but not so long that there's complex worldbuilding involved? not that i don't love writing longfic, but the time and investment that goes into them can sometimes be overwhelming and it's not something i want every fic to entail lmao

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

under 10k!! this is like the super sweet spot for me to look at it and go 'yeah i'll leave that open in a tab to read during a short break or while i'm eating lunch or-' etc etc. more than that and i default to going 'oh i should mark that for later' and unfortunately those often disappear into the aether lmao

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