#i don't know wtf i'm doing
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Robin POV of what if Robin know PC since childhood, but the PC he know and the PC that we start playing is different in soul(?).
And there's the fact I'm lost not knowing which way to go the first time I play it. I just want to think a prompt how to hurt baby Robin, and I like childhood friend that not end well.
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"Here! Ring for our promise! With these we're always gonna be together!"
Isn't that what you said back then as you put the flower ring in my ring finger, and I put one in yours too?
Then Why…
Why are you talking to them with that sweet voice like that…?
Why are you smiling so lovingly like that to them?
Since when did that smile you always show only to me shifted to them?
Why-...
.oOo.
I still remember your smile back then
As I teach you how to make a flower crown for the first time
When the one you made still not strong enough to hold it shape
Until you can make it strong enough to hold its shape
And called my name happily because you finally did it
It was long ago
Many years before
We were small
I'm sure you have already made many since then
But why?
Why are you back to like you never did this before?
Weren't we making it daily when the flowers bloom for years?
And we also make some Pressed bookmarks and flower pouches with it too
There's supposedly some in your room that you display because you say that it's precious
But where has all of it gone?
Why do you look like you've never been here before?
The way to the park where we sell hot chocolate together in winter
If you turn left there's a beach where we sell lemonade
And then there's our school just straight from the park
The way to the forest
The way to the movie
Why…
Why do you look like you forget about it?
Who are you?
What are you doing with them?
Where do you hide them?
Why do you look like them?
How do you make everyone else think that you are them?
When are you gonna give them back?!
GO AWAY
GIVE THEM BACK NOW
DON'T USE THEIR BODY AS YOU LIKE
DON'T TAINT THEIR BODY LIKE THAT
WHY DO YOU MAKE EVERYONE ELSE DON'T NOTICE YOU TAKE OVER THEIR PLACE?
WHY IS IT ONLY ME THAT NOTICE IT?
WHY-...
Why only me…
It hurts…
my chest hurt…
If it's this hurt…
Please…
Please just make me not notice it too…
Please...
Just make me forget...
#robin the orphan#degrees of lewdity#dol#dol fanfic#dol fanfiction#degrees of lewdity fanfic#degrees of lewdity fanfiction#i don't know wtf i'm doing#imagine seeing robin screaming as he cries
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Joel Smallishbeans canon appearance
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"Let's fix this drawing" *redraw the whole thing*
#star wars#star wars fanart#star wars the clone wars#star wars rex#wip or finished?#no one knows#sorry for the spam#I disappear a week and come back with *nothing*#But don't complain you're lucky#meanwhile my twitt is without content since a month#Cause I'm battling with illustrations V_v#anyway I went hiking with friends#we end up getting lost and having to go through like a feet of mud#a river#and 4 hours of walking#And my body took it well wtf like zero cramp#But then two days after I think I may have gotten a cold#so idk#still pushed to the gym#tho ofc it's summer now so they are much people#and BOI lemme tell you#for a city were half the population is right-wing elderly#the only people I see at my park are doing handstand on bars or whatever high level jedi sh*t#or maybe it's the only good streetpark at miles around so cool people can only go there#and me a shy potato with my cat-ears headphones and messy hair#anyway#that's it for my life.#good night#or I will redraw his face AGAIN#TAT
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it's not often you get to see a sleepy suguru.
it's not like he's not tired – he's fucking exhausted; the dreams just don't seem to like him all that much. but he's usually toughing it out, trying to seem as composed and put-together as possible. the dark skin underneath his eyes betray him, though.
so you don't really know why today is different. is he just more tired? have all of the sleepless hours caught up with him? or is it just you; could it be that your body is the most comfortable place to rest his heavy head? or is it your perfume that's soothing him to sleep?
or is it the fingers in his hair?
he doesn't really let others play with his hair too ofter either. satoru and shoko had been the only exceptions but that was before you came along. satoru uses his hair as a stim, something to play with when he's bored. suguru has taught him manners though – a few slaps against satoru's fingers and chest to remind him to be more careful. and shoko is just more likely to brush a strand from his eyes or help him tie them up in a half-assed bun whenever his own hands are full with whatever.
you like playing with hair, always have and always will. it's relaxing and it's fun and it's calming and you love it. when you first met suguru, his hair was the second thing you noticed about him (his keen purple eyes being the first). an irresistible itch burned in your fingertips everytime you saw him, everytime he wore his hair down. it just looked so pretty and soft.
he takes very good care of his hair, you know that much. specific shampoos and conditioners, masks and all – he's all in. and nobody bats an eye. not that they should but satoru definitely gets made fun of because of his stupidly expensive collection of figurines and shoko gets teased for her silly mug shelf – and yet, neither of them ever comment on the bottles and tubs of fancy products that lay on his bathroom counter.
his hair also smells good. the compliment always hangs on the tip of your tongue but stays hidden in fear of coming off too weird. too creepy. but he doesn smell good. even with closed eyes and ears and you'd find him in a crowd. you wonder whether he knows that.
as you grew closer and closer, the now scorching itch only doubled in need. you never did gather the strenght to outwardly ask him – if you could play with his hair? if you could caress it? comb through it? it was an accident.
a simple gloomy friday afternoon: you're both lazing on your couch, staring at the screen. it's funny – you find yourself muffling your already quiet bursts of laughter, suguru alongside you. he's sitting close by, closer than usual. you don't ask him about it.
he asked to come over; something-something about being sick of his own apartment. you understand that, so you tell him that your home is his home (you'd tell him that even if you didn't understand). you hear the faint smile when he thanks you over the phone.
even when he looks like he hasn't slept in months – he looks good. you can tell he's overexaggerating his smile a bit but don't say anything about it, rewarding him with a grin of your own. his eyes flick to your lips and how they curve and he thinks about how warm it feels to look at you. maybe he's not exaggerating anymore.
your arms open wide, inviting him into you and he obliges, as always. he smells good. as always.
his hands lock behind your back and your behind his neck. your hearts meet and they greet each other with a fastened beat, eager to be in sync – to feel each other again.
he pulls back and the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. he's not doing it anymore and you're happy to relieve him even if it's for mere moments.
he's wearing a sweather and his hair is down. he has lip gloss on; you try to think whether he's more of a mint guy or more of a shea guy. it remains a mystery.
and now you're on the couch with two cups of warm tea waiting for you on the small table. he smells good. he's so close. he snickers at the screen and you can't take your eyes off of him. it's the same small crinkle of the eyes and the faintest pink tint on his cheeks.
you know he knows that you're looking at him. you've been told to have a staring problem and he's just an observant guy. it's a terrible match. or a perfect one.
he doesn't say anything though; instead he leans his head back and little to the side against the headrest (he's even closer now) and you find yourself shifting an inch aswell. perhaps magnets are involved? the iron in your blood pulling you together?
no, that can't be. you'd have to be polar opposites for that to work. warm-blooded and cold-blooded? would that work? you're getting too poetic and he's looking at you now.
it's an accident. it slips out on its own. you smell good. caught off guard by your own comment, you're about to apologize when a hand on your thigh almost makes you suffocate on the words stuck in your throat.
he laughs and it feels so good. he thanks you. he means it, you see it in his tired eyes. he likes the way you blush.
turning his focus back to the tv, you try to collect yourself. a deep breath in and a deep one out and a deep one in and a de—
a weight on your shoulder. he smells so good. he's so close. you peek down, curious as to whether this is a dream or not. but suguru's head is in fact laid on your body, sinking a bit more into you by the second. a deep breath in and a deep one out.
seeking for a more comfortable position, you snuggle closer to him. it's hard to focus but you're making it your sole mission to make him feel safe. your arm curls around his body, his shoulder, and rests right by a flock of his hair.
his cheek is now smushed against the top of your chest and the weight of love doesn't seem as bad as everyone keeps telling you. his hand finds a place around your waist; loosely – as if he's the one who's afraid to scare you off. silly.
his breath against you feels right and the butterflies in your stomach refuse to calm down. so you do what you always do when you get nervous – completely on their own, your fingers caress his hair. just smoothing over it at first but before you know it, they're combing through a strand and twirling the ends between themselves.
you wanna apologize, again, but the soft little grunt that emits from the man keeps you from doing so.
don't stop.
+ this is for @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat just bc it feels right
#absolutely 10000% not proofread i do not know where this came from#suguru my sweetheart#this just felt right in my heart#so i'm gonna post it anyway#btw if i ever write something that doesn't make sense#it's your own fault bc it's poetry okay#u just don't get it#this is me convincing myself that this isn't a complete slur of words put together#it sounds good in my head i won't apologize#ALSO CAN U TELL I LIKE REPEATING THINGSS HMMM#love u my kittens mwah mwah mwah#wtf mickey can write#sugu#suguru geto#suguru geto drabble#suguru geto blurb#suguru geto fluff#jjk drabble#suguru geto x reader#geto suguru#geto suguru drabble#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru fluff#geto suguru blurb#jjk geto#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen drabble#jjk blurb
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Been thinking 'bout Fresh lately
If you guys didn't notice I got high on crack through the middle of this
#sans au#utmv#undertale au#dream sans#blueberry sans#reaper sans#Geno sans#afterdeath#sanscest#Reapertale papyrus#POODLE!!!#Also context for the Afterdeath part um god of death it isn't easy finding love#I've been planning to draw the idea way too long and um it still it just turned into crack#I'm on crack#I'm tired#and WTF am I supposed to do I do not know how to socialise I used to meow??#vrchat isn't as fun as it sometimes is#and how do I socialise btw#someone shit on my passions earlier so like I don't think#I had a sleepover at school so I'm free today??#um yeah sobbing motivations not motivating RAAAHHHH#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dream is so pretty#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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One of the most insane things is when gentiles say with their whole chest shit like "real Jews don't support Israel" and its like. Um. Just like in every community there are opinions on this that range from literally genocidal to dedicated peace activism but the one thing we can all agree on is that you, as a random gentile online, do not under any circumstances get to define who a "real Jew" is. Oh my god.
#It's giving Joe Biden saying if yiu don't vote for me you ain't black#Like oh my god?? Shut up#Jews you don't like don't become not Jewish wtf#It's the most arrogant attitude I can imagine like WHAT delusion gave you the impression#That YOU. A random gentile tumblr user. Gets to define who is a ~real jew~#Also like I'm sorry do you think?? That Jewishness is some privilege that can be taken away by gentiles??#If we don't meet your standards??#Instead of. You know. An innate part of our identity that is part of who we are literally on a genetic level#Like being a jew is a fucking ethnicity ?? Do yall not understand that#Or do you just not care#Because if you acknowledged that. You would have to admit you're being racist.#Antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#leftist hypocrisy#jumblr#jewblr
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Brokenhearted Tae x the Art Department Bonus:
#the trainee the series#the trainee#sea tawinan#poon mitpakdee#peachblossomgifs#I'm sorry brokenhearted tae made me laugh#wtf are they going to do in ep 11 & 12?#but you know what this is only ep 10 there is still time for another break up#tbh I like when shows have characters that make decisions that I don't like/would not make bc I do wanna see where it goes#and this crazy love triangle in contrast w jane/ryan's cute office romance makes this series so much fun to watch#I'm screaming no matter who is on screen
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#yes i know everyone's giffed this to hell and back#yes i know i don't have the paid camera mod (??)#but listen!! what i do have ... is LOVE#for that last shot in particular look at how soft and confused he is!!!#BABY!!!#and when they first move in for a hug he's like 'wtf are u doing. i'm pouring out my soul here and you're trying to get physical?'#and then he fuckin ... realizes what's happening and is so startled#ignore hira's poor tail clipping through their pants#bg3#bg3 edit#astarion x tav#astarion#baldur's gate 3#worsties to lovers#oc: hiraeth
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY REMOVED THE IMPLICATION THAT ITONOKOGIRI BOLTED DOWN THE BOOKCASE IN MITSURUGI'S OFFICE FOR HIM IN CASE OF EARTHQUAKES IN THE ENGLISH LOCALIZATION
#ace attorney#dick gumshoe#miles edgeworth#gumworth#YEAH I'M MAIN TAGGING THIS BC I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO SEE IT WTF#gyakuten saiban#itonokogiri keisuke#mitsurugi reiji#mitsunoko#badgerh speaks#what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK im so unreasonably mad about this#WHY DO THEY ALWAYS DO THIS. WHY DID THEY CHANGE THIS.#WHY DOES THE ENGLISH LOCALIZATION KEEP REMOVING THESE LITTLE MOMENTS BETWEEN ITONOKOGIRI AND MITSURUGI!!!!#I DON'T UNDERSTAND#this is why i don't trust ace attorney as a franchise. i only know gyakuten saiban sorry.
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You ever be totally immersed in a story and then you come across a line about a subject and you realize you know more about this subject than the author and what the author wrote down was completely wrong and it's not even that the author didn't do research so much as the author didn't even think this was something that even needed to be researched? And it drives you absolute cuckoo bananas?
#pretty sure vellum is pretty flame resistant since it's leather and not paper#why are you doing this to me Phong Nguyen#also I'm less clear on this point I'll have to look up the history of manuscripts but did first century Vietnam even have vellum books?#like Asia had access to tree paper well before Europe did i think parchment and vellum were European in nature#after the decline of the papyrus trade following the collapse of the Roman empire#and needing something that was more durable in wetter climates than the Mediterranean anyway#i know europe got tree paper from China (possibly via Türkiye? idr) but i don't know if europe exported vellum and parchment#given the advent of tree fiber paper in Asia it doesn't seem like there'd be much need for vellum manuscripts in 1 C.E Vietnam#*first century C.E not 1 C.E#wait a minute#did EUROPE even have vellum by First Century C.E??#i.. i have to go look this up now wtf...
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who up vasting they error rn !? !? (/J) (lazy ahh doodles)
#me when i don't know wtf i'm doing#binged the entire thing recently and so far it's really good#does that mean i have any clue how to write the characters?#n o .#i probably butchered them idk#also slight ellsee design errors cuz my only 2 references were the lil game sprite of her and my brain 😔#it's ok tho the murrit doodle is the only one that matters here (/J)#might draw vast error more actually who knows 👀#but for now have these#vast error#arcjec voorat#ellsee raines#murrit turkin#dismas mersiv (by technicality. if you squint REALLY hard.)#my art#digital art#doodle#art
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How dare he randomely change his hairstyle out of nowhere? I'm the only one allowed to do that
(Writing it here too just in case, I'M JOKING)
Yes I'm a few days late, I forgot to post these 💀
📸 Mikke on ig (ofc)
#in case you think this is serious please check the notes I'm joking#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#what do I tag these?#it's the first time I post something related to this finnish gremlin#all the tags I ever saw on tumblr magically disappeared from my brain#jere from vantaa#lovable green guy#I hate the blond#the way I was joking with a friend the day before he did this saying “bro shoukd go to a hairdresser and get that bowlcut fixed”#And then he actually cut it and I was like NO I WAS JOKING GO BACK 😭#btw I'm joking I ain't going nowhere#bitch has me singing in finnish#i don't know finnish#anyways I had just woken up when I saw this and I went straight to tumblr AND IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT LMFAO#Anyways being delulu and hoping it's temporary HOW ARE YOU NATURALLY BLOND AND NOT LOOKING NATURAL WITH BLOND HAIR?#IT DOESN'T MATCH WITH THE REST OF HIS OVERALL PALETTE WTF IS THAT? IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE LMAO 💀#my art
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Hey, do you guys want to hear a story? Let me tell you about the romance between Lancelot and Guinevere, as recounted in Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur.
So, I thought I knew the basics. I grew up reading modern versions of Arthurian legend that focused on other aspects, but had a general knowledge of the Arthur-Guinever-Lancelot love triangle. It didn't show up too much, but I assumed it was subtext in some other versions. What I picked up was that it was sort of pure, almost an ot3, and not the cause of a lot of problems.
My friends. In this version it is NOT SUBTEXT, it DEFINITELY CAUSED PROBLEMS, and it is WILD. It is a true will-they-won't-they drama fest soap opera romance, and I need to share. So please, come on this journey with me.
[I’m looking at you, Black Sails fandom people. I need you to know that Flint canonically would have read this. He would almost certainly have also grown up hearing these stories. I’m not saying he’s Lancelot coded, but I am saying it's interesting that he would have been aware that was something it was possible to be.]
A couple notes, before we dive in. I am very much just summarizing what happened in the book. The thing is, the book is a million pages long and also in Middle English, and this is just one of many plots, which I think is why it's not more widely known. I will show some excerpts so you can get a feel for the text, but you don’t need to read them to understand the story. I'm referring to a version that is as close to the manuscript as I can find, though with spelling regularized. For real fun, see what the original looked like. Malory purports to be translating part of the French Vulgate cycle, which likely is where the character of Lancelot originates, but in fact he is doing much more than translating, and compiles other stories as well. Point being, when he says “so the French book sayeth” etc, that is the “book” to which he is referring. Because of my lack of knowledge about the language and cultural context, this lecture series from Mythgard Academy was absolutely invaluable to my understanding. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Inevitably, some of the opinions of the prof are reflected here. I do not have it in me to compare the scholarship of various medievalists right now, I just want to tell you about this DRAMA.
Let’s start with a prophecy. When Arthur decides he wishes to marry Guinevere, Merlin advises him to take someone else, because if he takes her, she will betray him with Lancelot and it will destroy his kingdom. All of this is foretold, not only to us, but to Arthur himself. Of course he takes her anyway, and all is doomed from the start.
As we begin the main arc of this story (several books after the prophecy), Lancelot is widely acknowledged to be the best and most renowned knight of Arthur’s court. He is plainly and hopelessly in love with Guinevere, and she loves him in return. Arthur doesn’t have a problem with this - who wouldn’t love Guinevere? This sort of love is socially acceptable, so long as they do not sleep together, which would be treason. Arthur in fact seems to support their love, because it means that Lancelot will be Guinevere’s champion should she need one. This is a role Arthur himself legally cannot fill because he is the king, and so would have to be the judge. Lancelot is indeed a good champion for her, and fights for her when she is wrongly accused of murder.
Lancelot is deeply chivalrous, in a way that seems sincere. This is a great place for a first excerpt, a conversation with a Random Damsel Lancelot has been helping:
‘Now, damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘will ye any more service of me?’ ‘Nay, sir,’ she said, ‘at this time, but almighty Jesu preserve you wheresoever ye ride or go, for the most courteous knight thou art and meekest unto all ladies and gentlewomen that now liveth. But one thing, sir knight, me thinks ye lack, ye that are a knight wifeless, that ye will not love some maiden or gentlewoman. For I could never hear say that ever ye loved any of no manner of degree, and that is great pity. But it is noised that ye love Queen Guenivere, and that she hath ordained by enchantment that ye shall never love no other but her, nor no other damosel nor lady shall rejoice you; wherefore there be many in this land of high estate and low that make great sorrow.’ ‘Fair damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘I may not warn* people to speak of me what it pleaseth them; but for to be a wedded man, I think it not; for then I must couch with her, and leave arms and tournaments, battles and adventures. And as for to say to take my pleasance with paramours, that will I refuse, in principal for dread of God. For knights that be adventurous should not be adulterers nor lecherous, for then they be not happy nor fortunate unto the wars; for either they shall be overcome with a simpler knight than they be themselves, or else they shall slay by unhap and their cursedness better men than they be themselves. And so who that useth paramours shall be unhappy, and all thing unhappy that is about them.’
So after doing his Knightly Deeds for this damsel, Lancelot asks if she needs anything else. She says no, but you are lacking one thing, which is the love of a woman. It is rumored that is because Guinevere has through sorcery made you love only her, and that causes all of the women great sorrow. In reply Lancelot makes this speech about how he cannot have a wife or paramour and be a good knight, but everyone thinks it is at least in part because his love is reserved for Guinevere.
Now, throughout the book his chastity DOES notably cause all of the women great sorrow. Everyone wants to sleep with Lancelot. Literally he is kidnapped by the four most beautiful queens other than Guinevere, and they say he has to choose one of them as a lover (not even a wife, a lover) or else die. He says he would rather die, though in the end he escapes. This is just an example, truly it is a recurring problem for him. He is, at one point, tricked into sleeping with a woman with whom he conceives his son Galahad (as was prophesied, it's a long story and the romance is only part of it. It is worth mentioning that something similar happens to Arthur, which is how Mordred is sired.) When Guinevere learns that Lancelot has been with someone else, she is angry and banishes him from the court. They still love each other and eventually reconcile.
So, Lancelot goes on the quest for the holy grail. But he fails, specifically because while he is outwardly dedicated to God, in his private heart he is still dedicated to Guinevere. And so he makes a vow to renounce his love for her, acknowledging that it is beyond measure (beyond what is right, even if they have not technically done anything wrong.) However when he returns to Camelot, he cannot keep this vow, as we see.
Then, as the book saith, Sir Lancelot began to resort unto Queen Guenivere again, and forgot the promise and the perfection that he made in the quest. For, as the book saith, had not Sir Lancelot been in his privy thoughts and in his mind so set inwardly to the Queen as he was in seeming outward to God, there had no knight passed him in the quest of the Sangrail, but ever his thoughts were privily on the Queen. And so they loved together more hotter than they did beforehand, and had many such privy draughts together that many in the court spoke of it, and in especial Sir Agravain, Sir Gawain’s brother, for he was ever open-mouthed. So it befell that Sir Lancelot had many resorts of ladies and damosels that daily resorted unto him to be their champion: in all such matters of right Sir Lancelot applied him daily to do for the pleasure of Our Lord Jesu Christ. And ever as much as he might he withdrew him from the company of Queen Guenivere for to eschew the slander and noise, wherefore the Queen waxed wroth with Sir Lancelot.
He and Guinevere start spending a lot of time alone together, and so there are rumors circulating about them in court. In order to put a stop to the rumors, Lancelot starts paying other women attention and doing more good knightly deeds for them. Guinevere is terribly jealous, but he tells her it's for their own good, and also tells her about the vow he made, and his concern that their love is beyond what is appropriate. She is devastated, and weeping banishes him from the court (again).
Lancelot then rides in a tournament, disguised. (Why? Because this is simply a thing knights do.) To make it an effective disguise he takes the token of a woman, the sleeve of the fair maid of Astolat to wear on his helm. When she discovers that he was only using it for the disguise, and he does not indeed love her, she is so heartbroken that she says if he will not marry her or be her lover, she will die. He refuses, on the grounds that love must not be constrained and should arise from the heart, and offers her a thousand pounds a year instead if she marries anyone else. Properly insulted by this, she does indeed die. She has her body sent in a boat to Camelot, with a letter in her hand, saying that she died of her love for him, that he would not return.
Seeing this, Guinevere reconciles with Lancelot, presumably reassured by the fact that he would let this very beautiful much younger woman die of her love rather than being with her. She insists that from now on he will not fight in disguise, and will openly bear her token.
Then Queen Guenivere sent for Sir Lancelot, and said thus: ‘I warn you that ye ride no more in no jousts nor tournaments but that your kinsmen may know you; and at these jousts that shall be ye shall have of me a sleeve of gold. And I pray you for my sake to force* yourself there, that men may speak you worship. But I charge you as ye will have my love, that ye warn your kinsmen that ye will bear that day the sleeve of gold upon your helmet.’ ‘Madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘it shall be done.’ And either made great joy of other.
It is important to keep in mind that, to this point, there is no textual evidence that they were sleeping together, and a great deal of evidence that it was important to Lancelot that they not cross that line. There is much less evidence that this is important to Guinevere.
So then one fateful day in May, Guinevere goes picnicing with an entourage of knights. They are captured by someone else who is in love with Guinevere, and taken back to his castle, but she manages to send a message to Lancelot. At the castle, she insists that her knights sleep in her bedchamber on the grounds that they were wounded in the battle when she was captured and need tending, but truly she wants them there to keep her captor from raping her.
Lancelot arrives to rescue her, and the person who kidnapped her agrees to give her back in the morning. She tells Lancelot to visit her room in the night. He climbs up to her window, which is barred. They have a heartfelt reunion and she says she wishes he could come in to her. He acquiesces and breaks the bars to get into her room, cutting his hand to the bone to do so. Despite the profusely bleeding wound and the ten other men sleeping in the room, they at last do sleep together, in this passionate blood covered consummation. He sneaks back out and replaces the bars.
In the morning, the man who kidnapped Guinevere comes in and sees blood all over the bed. He accuses her of being unfaithful to the king, saying she lay with one of the knights who had been sleeping in her room. She denies it, but it is very clear that she did sleep with someone who was bleeding.
Lancelot says he will fight to defend her from this accusation, which is right and proper because he is her champion. In this story people take trial by combat and oaths before God very seriously, especially Lancelot. He really does try. So he swears an oath that he will prove with his life that Guinevere did not sleep with one of the wounded knights who lay in her room. This of course is TRUE, but only on a technicality. Lancelot, having slept with her himself the night before, is also the one who defends her honor after. I love this story so much.
Instead of fighting him, the kidnapper takes Lancelot captive. In captivity he encounters ANOTHER damsel who insists that sleep with her in order for her to help him. He refuses, still faithful in his heart to Guinevere. Eventually she settles for him holding and kissing her, which is not across the line of appropriateness apparently, giving us some idea of where that line is drawn. Anyway, Lancelot gets out, fights for Guinevere and wins. There are indications that he feels like he barely dodged a devine bullet.
Guinevere and Lancelot return to Camelot. Finally the rumors about them are true, the deed has been done, but of course nothing appears particularly different as there were already rumors about them. Two knights, Mordred and Agravaine, who have been intriguing against Arthur already, go and tell Arthur that Guinevere is being untrue to him. Here is his response:
‘If it be so,’ said the King, ‘wit you well, he is none other; but I would be loath to begin such a thing but I might have proofs of it. For Sir Lancelot is a hardy knight, and all ye know that he is the best knight among us all; and but if he be taken with the deed he will fight with him that bringeth up the noise, and I know no knight that is able to match him. Therefore, and it be sooth as ye say, I would that he were taken with the deed.’ For as the French book saith, the King was full loath that such a noise should be upon Sir Lancelot and his queen. For the King had a deeming of it; but he would not hear thereof, for Sir Lancelot had done so much for him and for the Queen so many times that, wit you well, the King loved him passingly well.
Arthur says he will not hear of this without proof, because if Lancelot is accused and allowed to fight he would beat anyone. And, it is said that Arthur had some idea of the affair, but would not credit it because Lancelot had done so much for him and Guinevere, and he loved Lancelot greatly.
So, one night when the king is away hunting, the two accusers contrive to catch them in the act, with a group of twelve armed knights. They do find Lancelot in Guinevere’s chamber, but the text is notably, pointedly vague about whether they are actually in bed. In any case, Lancelot asks for a trial. The knights say no, they have caught him and so may kill him. He is Lancelot, so he kills all of them instead, save one (Mordred) whom he leaves wounded. Lancelot flees, intending to return to rescue Guinevere and take her to his own castle to protect her from Arthur’s wrath. He maintains her innocence, and still intends that they will all reconcile.
Guinevere is to be burned at the stake (normal in this situation). Lancelot rescues her from the burning at the last moment, killing a number of knights of the round table. Arthur seems to blame the accusers more than Guinevere and Lancelot (for good reason; keep in mind that the romance is a subplot, there is a great deal of political intrigue going on.) Now a war will begin, whether anyone wants it or not, because of the people Lancelot killed. Lancelot takes Guinevere to his own castle. Battle lines are drawn, and Lancelot and Arthur confront each other in the fighting:
And ever was King Arthur about Sir Lancelot to have slain him, and ever Sir Lancelot suffered him and would not strike again. So Sir Bors encountered with King Arthur; and Sir Bors smote him, and so he alit and drew his sword and said to Sir Lancelot, ‘Sir, shall I make an end of this war?’—for he meant to have slain him. ‘Not so hardy,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘upon pain of thy head, that thou touch him no more! For I will never see that most noble king that made me knight neither slain nor shamed.’ And therewith Sir Lancelot alit off his horse and took up the King and horsed him again, and said thus: ‘My lord the king, for God’s love, stint this strife, for ye get here no worship and I would do my utterance. But always I forbear you, and ye nor none of yours forbear not me. And therefore, my lord, I pray you remember what I have done in many places, and now am I evil rewarded.’ So when King Arthur was on horseback he looked on Sir Lancelot; then the tears burst out of his eyes, thinking of the great courtesy that was in Sir Lancelot more than in any other man. And therewith the King rode his way and might no longer behold him, saying to himself, ‘Alas, alas, that yet this war began!’
So Arthur tries to slay Lancelot, but Lancelot, the better fighter, refuses to slay him and indeed when Arthur is unhorsed Lancelot forbids that he be slain, and gives him his own horse. Arthur weeps for the honor that is in Lancelot, and laments that the war began.
The pope intervenes and tries to negotiate an end. Lancelot confirms that he is willing to return Guinevere to Arthur, and says he has always been willing to do this and will still defend her honor, but that he does not feel he can do so because Arthur has listened to liars and been misled, and he had more reason to take her away than the accusation of adultery - he does not trust she can be safe in that court, with things as they are.
Eventually they do make a deal, with some assurances, and he surrenders Guinevere to the king. He kisses her openly, says that he will leave, but should she be in danger or ever again accused of being untrue, he will fight for her as he always has. He departs the court forever, to much great sorrow, and returns to his own lands.
The war continues - eventually Mordred seizes the throne, Arthur kills him in battle but is mortally wounded himself and passes to Avalon. Following the king’s death, although her love would no longer be adulterous, Guinevere retires to a convent rather than reuniting with Lancelot. He seeks her out, and this is her reaction:
Sir Lancelot was brought before her; then the Queen said to all those ladies, ‘Through this same man and me hath all this war been wrought, and the death of the most noblest knights of the world; for through our love that we have loved together is my most noble lord slain. Therefore, Sir Lancelot, wit thou well I am set in such a plight to get my soul health; and yet I trust through God’s grace and through His Passion of His wounds wide, that after my death I may have a sight of the blessed face of Christ Jesu, and at Doomsday to sit on His right side;* for as sinful as ever I was, now are saints in heaven. And therefore, Sir Lancelot, I require thee and beseech thee heartily, for all the love that ever was betwixt us, that thou never see me no more in the visage. And I command thee, on God’s behalf, that thou forsake my company; and to thy kingdom look thou turn again, and keep well thy realm from war and wrack. For as well as I have loved thee heretofore, my heart will not serve now to see thee, for through thee and me is the flower of kings and knights destroyed. And therefore go thou to thy realm, and there take ye a wife and live with her with joy and bliss. And I pray thee heartily to pray for me to the everlasting Lord that I may amend my misliving.’ ‘Now, my sweet madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘would ye that I should turn again unto my country, and there to wed a lady? Nay, madam, wit you well, that shall I never do, for I shall never be so false unto you of that I have promised. But the self* destiny that ye have taken you to, I will take me to, for the pleasure of Jesu; and ever for you I cast me specially to pray.
Rather than rejoicing in Lancelot’s presence, Guinevere laments that their love brought about the downfall of the Arthurian court, and the deaths of the knights of the round table and King Arthur. She calls upon Lancelot, by all the love that was ever between them to leave her presence, telling him to marry someone else if he wishes and see her no more. Lancelot replies that he wants no one else, and that he will respect her wishes, but will also renounce the world and join a religious order. He asks Guinevere for a final parting kiss, which she denies him.
When Guinevere lies dying of illness, Lancelot sets out to go to her, having had a vision. She knows of his coming, and prays to die before she sees him, because she cannot bear it. She dies a half hour before he arrives, leaving instruction that he is to tend to her body, and then lay it to rest beside that of her lord King Arthur. Lancelot does this with great sorrow, and after ceases to eat or drink, and within weeks is dead himself.
And there you have it, the love affair that doomed Camelot.
HUGE DISCLAIMER: Any and all mistakes or misinterpretations are my own. This is what I gathered, but I am not a medievalist. I am barely an interested layperson. I’m just a random fic writer who got obsessed with research for a story, and had to share this tragic mess.
#i have a million thoughts about this#and there is a great deal of context that would be helpful#but i this doesnt need to be more than 4k words long so#i may do a followup post if there is interest#but black sails folks#i'm writing a lot of flintmadi convos right now#and vaguely planned to have them talk about this book#as a way to discuss their own situation and values#but i had not actually read it#and it is WAY MORE than i expected#anyway they are going to refer back to it#so i figured i should write it down so i can point at it if readers want to know wtf they are talking about#is there an#arthurian legend#tag?#i purposefully haven't looked i don't go here if there is a here to go#but fuck it that was a lot of work might as well see#anyway there are so many things to dig into here#arthur's role or lack thereof#(the rest of the book has a lot more to do with him)#the treatment of fate and prophesy#the courtly love tradition#how this fits into the arthurian tradition as a whole#and the clear french influence#vs the old celtic stories#also so many fun things about language in general#did you know that paramour is derived basically the same way as paramilitary?#'para' as 'beyond that which is regular'#also in middle english negatives are additive rather than canceling each out out!#fun facts
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I have a transformers visual history book, right
Okok, so there's a little promotional thing that's really cute
I literally just found Starscream and-
Sword meme anyone?
#Transformers#Starscream#It's literally that one sword meme#But guns#Not my art#Official art#Transformers art#I'm only using tags because I need everyone to know about this#He's got like a hundred mechs who want him gone#The two seekers next to Shockwave don't even care#Tf did you do Starscream?#Bro's even got Swindle pointing a gun to his face#Wtf did he do???#If you can't see Screamer just follow the guns#You'll find him
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Love the fact that everyone's acting surprised that the We-Dump-Shit-In-The-Water country has had an outbreak of There's-Shit-In-The-Water disease.
#uk politics#Yeah there's been an e.coli outbreak#And everyone's talking about lettuce for some reason#As if they didn't set out warnings over high levels of THIS SPECIFIC BACTERIA in UK rivers like. Two months ago.#This (literal) shithole of a country just gets worse and worse!#Praying that whoever gets in next stops dumping literal shit in the water because. Um.#Because we don't want shit to be in the water?#I can't believe I'm having to justify this wtf#How do you explain to somebody why you don't want there to be shit in the water#It's ludicrous#John Snow (cholera guy not GoT) is turning in his grave#We've known for what almost two hundred years that dumping shit in water is a bad plan? And what do the tories do.#They dump. Shit. In the water.#I don't even know why they're doing it they Just Are.#fuck the tories#uk news
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People here would always say that Twitter is fucking wild and thrives on unnecessary drama.
As someone who primarily moved to Twitter and grew quite a big following reasonably quickly and had relatively high engagement there, I just wanted to say, Twitter is fucking wild and thrives on unnecessary drama.
#I thinking about how some of the shit that I've gone through on there would play out on here and honestly want to laugh#because no one here would let their posts gain traction#everyone would just be like 'wtf are you on about?'#'I think maybe you need a nap'#But now I'm having withdrawals from not being able to share my every thought and I don't know what to do about that
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