#i don't know that this clarifies anything but oh my god.
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bellshazes · 11 days ago
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a few thoughts:
bdubs is always incredibly aware that he's going to die and he counts on it. this is part of a larger pattern - he was very explicit in 3L about a) wanting to be cleo's sword (read: shield) and b) expecting to die before her because of this.
he's always willing to take a bit of a bad guy role or do an obviously idiotic no way in hell it'll work thing if it helps other people's story or motivations become more interesting. however, as he gets at in ep 1, he's got a strong "you get what you deserve" streak for his own actions. bad guys shouldn't win.
he generally prefers a supporting role; kingmaker, of course, but also following people's leads or even like, in limited life, offering to go caving since he didn't think he'd make an episode and could afford to do boring tasks for his team.
notably 1 and 2 both play very badly with needing a leader and nobody else stepping up to do it, instead letting him have his way on the practical matters like base design and disbelieving his motivations on the social side. it's impossible for him to thread all the needles he would like to in a satisfactory way.
he tries to be good, so that if he must be independent and can't offer himself up as sacrificial lamb, he'll deserve good things. his teammates are used to him playing the heel, so they rebuff him, but then he's not good and there's no leader to make it worthwhile. so he tries to step up and play the heel, but someone has to do something, and he tries to lead and feels inadequate. i think he yes-and-ed his way into the tuff guy thing because they had to do something and now he's stuck. i hope he outlives them all and hates every second
can someone smarter than me figure out what it might mean that before the suggestion of an 'each person for themselves' kind of alliance, backed up by Etho's attitude of being tough etc, Bdubs suggests the option of appointing a team leader and also that if they do 'lift eachother up' then all their efforts should go to one person rather than spread across the three of them, likely lessening their chances? Like they ended up going with what they're going with, but it still felt like an unexplored idea from him (whether they would have agreed is unlikely but in terms of Bdubs perspective on things) where they agree on a champion to win, and the other two act as kingmakers to the best of their ability from the offset. And then in episode 3 he continues with talking about being a leader despite that not being what they landed on as a group, mentioning that he doesn't feel fit to lead later on.
I also think he's 3 for 3 on episodes where he attempts genuine communication (discussion of feelings re horse with etho, formation of a group with an agreed-upon end goal to minimise misunderstanding later on, and then apology about past transgressions) which aren't effective not because of him, but because the people he's talking to have no reason to react with anything other than their ingrained responses (humour and distrust) even if he's trying something different. and then he backpedals or adjusts to fit what they've said etc. but he still tried which feels important. I'm not enough of a scholar to know if there's anything to chew on there.
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euclydya · 2 years ago
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we've only been awake for like 2? almost 3 hours i think and in that timeframe we've almost teared up multiple times bc we r So Happy To Be Alive And We Want To Live And Experience The World And We Are So Joyful And Excited For The Future and I'm just like WHO the fuck is co-con rn.* What the fuck. What the fuck is going on**
(*i know exactly who's co-con rn)
(**This is one HELL of a period that's what's going on)
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frecklystars · 1 year ago
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He is so handsome!!!! He is so handsome!!!!! My sweet boy!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 My Ken is so handsome and for WHAT!!!!!! To give me a heart attack???? god!!!!!! look at his smile!!! he is everything to me!!!! I'd be holding his hand the entire time, telling him how beautiful he is... I'd give him a tour of every city if it meant I could look at my boyfriend's smile all damn day and know it's all for me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💓💖💖💗💓💞💕💕💟💝💞
#TO BE SO CLEAR: I AM TALKING ABOUT THE CHARACTER#don't get me wrong. the actor is handsome. i will scream to the heavens how hot ryan is#but just to clarify i would not point at a real life celebrity and call him my boyfriend sdljfsdfdf#well maybe i would but in a joking way. you know what i mean. anyway#love notes#ken#💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-#THE THIRD ONE. OH GOD#i want him to look at me that way. SO fondly. SO softly#THE FIRST ONE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT#thats such a good full body reference for this costume. outfit? costume? outfit#it's probably my favorite outfit he wears. if i had to pick one#i love all of them so dearly but something about this one makes me feral#like just something about it. i gotta have him i NEED him so badly#second favorite is his outfit he wears when he's playing the guitar for barbie#he's so hot!!! in everything!!! i also love his sailor outfit i think he looks so cute in white pants#and the clothes he wears when he accepts his nobel prize in horses... hooo#god i wanna kiss him so so so soooo badddd#i hope he would wanna kiss me too 😭 im still a little shaky on feeling loved by f/os after what happened to me#but i wanna imagine he'd still love me. i'd do anything for it ;_;#i'll be anything he wants me to be if i can just be worthy#in the future i wont question if im worthy of love anymore. but god damn for a while im gonna be hurting a little bit#i love him so so so much and most of the time i feel like he loves me too ;_; i rly rly hope he does#i miss him. ughh god fuck#gotta go see this movie again... i saw it yesterday but that was YESTERDAY#need to see it my next day off. it's still thankfully playing in theaters#love notes: ken ♡
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xreader-writing · 3 months ago
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Still here | Lando Norris
Sumarry: Y/n comes to her ex-boyfriend Lando Norris' defense when he's being canceled, and Lando couldn't be happier about it.
Pairing: Ex!Lando Norris X Actress!Reader
A/n: So this will probably become a series lol English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.
The next chapter will be WRITTEN, so tell me if you approve this for series or not, thanks :)
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F1news Some internet users are questioning and disapproving of Lando Norris' behavior with Lewis Hamilton, and even pointing out other times when the driver acted rudely with other people around him. What do you think about this?
User1 Disrespectful, that's all.
User2 I think the fame went to his head.
User3 That's probably why Y/n broke up with him.
User4 I bet he was toxic to her.
User5 Y/n is so sweet, how did she put up with him for 2 years?
User6 Wow completely disappointed
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F1news Old photos of a fight between the former couple Lando and Y/n are circulating on the internet again after the cancellation of the pilot, some internet users are saying that he took out his frustrations on his partner.
User1 This is getting worse every day...
User2 Unfollowing Lando.
User3 I think the haters are taking advantage of this.
User4 I've always suspected this
user5 That's because he was born into a rich family and she wasn't.
User6 What does this have to do with anything?
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Youruser Okay, I wouldn't say anything about it, but I think things got a little out of hand, and that's not right, some people have been saying how bad and rude Lando is, and how apparently he "was terrible" to me during our relationship, those people couldn't be more wrong.
Lando is the kindest and most kind person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and the two years we spent together were nothing but magical and happy with him, the photos that are circulating say that he's taking his anger out on me, my dears... rest assured that on that day the one who was taking the risk was him lol we had a normal fight like any other couple, don't blow it up or make too many theories about it.
We ended our relationship for other reasons, but we remain friends, he has all my affection and love and I know I have his too, so please stop this gratuitous and completely unnecessary hatred towards him, it hurts me too.
Thank you for your attention, Y/n.
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F1news Actress Y/n came out in defense of her ex-boyfriend Lando Norris, after all the theories and the cancellation of the pilot, she wrote a very cute text clarifying some speculations about the life of the former couple "Lando is the kindest and most kind person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting" says the actress in a part of her text that was posted in a publication on the actress's Instagram.
User1 Oh my God, I miss them so much 😭😭😭
User2 I love this woman
User3 McLaren liked it, they may have paid her to post this
User4 Oh, fuck you
User5 We never found out why they broke up
User6 I still think what he did was disrespectful..
User7 I think Lando is happier than ever now lol
User8 Hadn't she been with Pierre before dating Lando?
User 9 They have only been seen together a few times, they might be friends.
User10 Yes, nothing was ever confirmed.
───────────────────────NEXT
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hemmingsleclerc · 6 months ago
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Scandal! pt2┃CL16-MV1
part 2!!! is all yours, thank u sm for the love and support for this work
instagram
ynln has posted a story!
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seen by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 3,593,639 others
caption: Day at the beach with my favourite people
charles_leclerc has respond to your story!
can we talk? send 1 hour ago
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 fun day
username yn and him being on the beach....on the same day..
username ugh stfu they're not dating
username max with his sister and mom 🥺
username so cute!
f1_gossip
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f1_gossip This afternoon Y/N uploaded a story to her Instagram account in which only she appeared on the beach, but her mother uploaded a video to her stories this afternoon where you could see Y/N, Max and Y/N's little sister, relaxing in the water. But Max uploaded a post where his family was seen right there, letting us understand that both families went out for a little getaway! Could it be that both drivers are in some type of relationship? What do you think?
username let them enjoy in peace!!
username omg they're so cute
username wait what?! omg
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f1 Our favourite paddock couples in today's race!
username well, charles is jumping of joy
username leclerc's a little happy there isn’t he
username all couples happy and together and then there's charles and aurora walking one meter away from each other
redbullracing
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redbullracing Imo 👉LAAAAAAAA 🎶 yn and max have arrived!
username yn and lewis=best dressed of the grid
username someone looks happy after spending a whole day on the beach 👀
cha_yn
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cha_yn the fact that I thought these two were gonna get married kills me
username does anyone know why they broke up?
username They never clarified anything but it was all very sudden tbh, but some say that there were rumors of infidelity on his part.
username wait, I thought it was bc things weren't working out but they never stopped loving each other, but I really don't know why just a month later he was seen with Aurora
username I smell a PR relationship from the ferrari team
username holy shit I never thought about that! It really doesn't seem like Charles is happy to be around his ''girlfriend''....
username I'm a child of a divorce
username I will never forget when Y/N won a race and Charles ran out of his car to go congratulate her and it was the first time we saw them kiss in public.
f1
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f1 Red Flag 🚩
Charles Leclerc crashes into Max Verstappen on lap 15 ending the race for both drivers
username 💀💀
username It was clearly seen how leclerc threw the car at max
username THE BEEF BETWEEN THESE TWO TF
f1_gossip
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f1_gossip OH MY GOD! After the accident between the Ferrari and the Red Bull, a completely angry Max went to look for Leclerc and fans captured the moment when Max started pushing and yelling at Charles. Was all this simply because of the race or something else?
The FIA ​​is still investigating the accident but in the meantime, who do you think was at fault?
username charles for sure
username idk man but I think verstappen
username LECLERC IT WAS SO OBVIOUS
username Max always ruins a driver's race, it's nothing new tbh
username Call me crazy but could it be that Charles was angry to see that Max and Yn were together on the beach yesterday? Now I'm gonna shut up
username WAIT
f1
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f1 YN LN WINS THE GRAND PRIX!! THIS IS HER FIFTH CONSECUTIVE VICTORY AND THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THAT A FEMALE DRIVER ACHIEVED THIS
username She shut up all those men who said she was going to last two races at most.
username I love women being successful
maxverstappen1 👏👏
ynupdates
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ynupdates Max congratulating yn for her win today!! They're so cute
username the fact she liked the post 🥺🫶🏻
username he's so green flag
username He didn't walk, he ran to congratulate her
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f1_gossip oh, my. It's official, charles and aurora both unfollowed each other, please let's make a toast
charles_leclerc has posted a story!
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ynln
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ynln yeah my bf's pretty cool but he's not as cool as me
jk he's cool asf, he’s a 3 times wc 🤭
maxverstappen1 hell yes I am
maxverstappen1 I love u my love😍
username I FUCKING KNEW IT
username damn that's a hot ass couple I see
username MAX CAN YOU FIGHT!??!!?
maxverstappen1 yes I can, and I already have for that woman
username: oh yeah right, with leclerc, I forgot, my bad💀
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okey so I did my best, I'm sorry if u don't like it :( but! I'm happy if u did. As you voted Max was the endgame for this so yeah!
taglist
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@callsignwidow @barcelonaloverf1life @happyyaay
@leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @raizelchrysanderoctavius
@toldyouitwasamelodrama @jaydaaasworld @love-simon
@annesunlight @forevercaffeinated-lee @gabys-gabs
@spookystitchery @marvelfangirl04 @acutely-autistic @under-seasoned-pasta
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mlyscha · 8 days ago
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↳ "DAFUC" ⭑
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𝓼ynopsis. in which you came across a trend where you say "dafuc" after every single sentence that comes out of your mouth. 𝓹airing. enha!member x female!reader 𝓰enre. fluff, crack, trendy. 𝔀arnings. obvious curse words, not proofread and just sunghoon, sunoo and riki with their side eye thing lol. 𝔀𝓬. 1,6k+ 𝓶asterlist.
♡ 𝓪melie's 𝓷ote: oh my god. oh my god oh my gooooddd thank you guys for all the support on my last posts◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜i'm so happy and thankful <3 also, i've never had crumbl cookie before so idk if riki's part is accurate or not but... 😜
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― 𝓱eeseung: the confused yet amused one.
"okay, so, my boyfriend is gonna rate these sylvanian families i got this week, dafuc," you spoke to the camera while holding a small box filled with the little cute characters. heeseung nodded to the camera, waving at it. "alright, pick one from this box and rate them," "okay-" "dafuc!" "wha... okay, this one is... a rabbit..?" you nodded. "yes, it is," "um... i'll rate this a..." "dafuc!" your boyfriend looks at you funny, frowning as a grin began to spread across his face. "what are you doing?" "what? dafuc..." "there! why do you keep saying that?" "saying what? i am just making you rate my new sylvanian families, babe," "you're playing with me," "dafuc!- no i'm not, dafuc," heeseung threw the little rabbit and it landed in the box you were holding. "babe! dafuc?! rate my-" "i know what you're doing, you little thing-" "AH!" you squealed when your boyfriend suddenly jumped against your body, holding you close and giving your neck subtle bites. and then he would say something like: "yeah, dafuc, dafuc!" with that big grin of his while hearing your laughter.
― 𝒿ongseong: noticed but just brushed it off.
"hey, guys, so, my boyfriend is gonna rate and review my new purse! dafuc. i bought her yester-" "what was that?" jongseong snapped his head at you after the sudden change in your tone. "i don't know what you are talking about," you held his shoulders, moving him to fit the camera's frame better. "okay, anyway guys, i bought this beautiful purse yesterday and i'm obsessed! dafuc!" he ignores. "just to clarify some things: this purse is y/n's boyfriend sponsored, 'kay?" you rolled your eyes behind him, hearing his amused chuckle. "okay, this purse is nice and feels good quality," "what else? dafuc!" "um..." ignores again, just giving you a amused and subtle side eye. "the colour is great and it might fit lots of things in here..." he analyses the purse's inside. "it's cute and it suits you really well, i'm glad i were part of this," in a comic way, jongseong bowed at the camera, giving your purse back to you acting in the same way.
you ended up ending the video after a brief goodbye; "babe, didn't you notice anything off?" "mhm? what exactly?" "ugh... nothing..." you were just about to walk out of the room when you heard your boyfriend's shout: "dafuc!" "babe!"
― 𝒿aeyun: giggles soooo much when he realises.
jaeyun is always amused by everything you do. you know that videos of golden retrievers just adoring their owner? that's definitely him. "and today my beautiful boyfriend- "it's me!" his aussie accent echoed, making you giggle a little. "anyway, yeah, he's gonna review this new lip gloss i bought a few days ago, dafuc! here you go." you handed him the lip gloss. "what should i rate?" "um... the smell, the feel..." "oh, okay," "dafuc!" "mhm... i like the smell, it is not very fruity but still sweet, is good." the gave the camera a thumbs up. "can you apply it so i can taste it and feel it?" "sure, dafuc." you couldn't ignore jaeyun's pouty face while waiting for you to apply it. "can i kiss you now? please, please, pleeeeeasee?" "yeah," you giggled, cupping his cheeks. "dafuc," you spoke before smacking his lips. "that's all?" "mhm-hm," you nodded. "how petty," he complained. jaeyun licked his lips tasting the lip gloss. "mhm... is not that good actually," "it isn't?! dafuc?"
suddenly your boyfriend just stared at you, confused yet curious about your actions. "what? dafuc...?" "there! why do you keep saying that?~" he whined while giggling, hugging you right after realising you were playing with him. "you're so silly, y'know that?"
― 𝓼unghoon: side eyes you so much.
"hey babes!" first side eye. "so, today i brought my boyfriend and he's gonna rate some new clothing i bought this week; dafuc!" "y/n," "mhm?" "why do you call your followers 'babes'?" "tsk, it's just a pet name, you're my ultimate baby, 'kay? dafuc..." you smiled at him and you noticed a small smirk appearing on the corner of his lips; even blushing a little. you chuckled before speaking: "okay, so the first clothing piece is this cute skirt~ dafuc~" "isn't it way too short?" "no is not, feel the fabric and rate it bae, dafuc." second side eye. "it is still short but is cute and suits you really well, i like it." sunghoon nodded while analysing the skirt. "'kay, and...? dafuc," "i rate it a 5/10." "alright," you nodded your head, agreeing with him. "fair enough, dafuc," third side eye. "this next piece is one of my favourites, it is so pretty and ugh, perfect, dafuc." you hid it before bringing it out. "are you ready; dafuc?" fourth side eye followed by a subtle nod. "yes i am, dafuc...?" he mimicked you, kind of confused making you giggled. "tadaaaa~ dafuc~" a beautiful flowy dress was revealed. "it is indeed pretty, i like it baby, 9.5/10." "oh~ dafuc!" and that was his last side eye before the confrontation.
"why'd you keep saying that earlier?" "that...? what?" "the dafuc thing." "it is just a trend babe, like a joke, you know?" you spoke between a fit of laughter. "oh... yeah, i knew it." he pursed his lips, giving you a very last side eye. ― he'll probably search the definition of this word a few minutes later.
― 𝓼unoo: kind of gives up and it's very curious.
"hi everyone, so, today my boyfriend is going to review and rate some of the halloween costumes i've worn over the years, let's get started; dafuc!" sunoo sides eye you for a second, kind of annoyed by your sudden shout, but kept smiling. you abled the green screen video on the tiktok camera and began to search for your halloween costume photos. "alright, so this is the first one, dafuc!" sunoo just looks at you with a curious but amused big grin, almost like he was laughing at your silly action. "um, i would rate this costume an... 8? i think 8.5, it's not good but it's not bad either." he shrugged and you nodded, agreeing with him.
you replaced the last picture with another one, a different costume. "alright babe, i love this costume i think i ate this fit up so rate it carefully, dafuc...!" "um..." he sides eyes you, confused this time by another one of your shouts. "i think i like it...? it's actually really cute, i lied, i like it so much; i actually loved it, babe, oh my god you look so good in this dress, wow..." "awn... thank you babe~ dafuc~" you heard sunoo sigh before covering the camera with his hand. "okay, what are you doing right now?" "what'd you mean?" you pretended to be actually intrigued. "dafuc?" "that! that! why are you saying that after everything you say? should i do it too?"
― 𝒿ungwon: can't stop wondering what you were doing.
"hi guys so, today i brought my boyfriend; say hi, dafuc..." you whispered. "oh, yeah, hi!" jungwon waved at the camera, showing off his dimples while smiling. "and today wonnie' gonna rate my cooking skills, dafuc! because i made a-" "wait," your boyfriend's fit of laughter began to echo. "what was that? the- the- 'dafuc!' thing?" "i don't know what you are talking about," you brush it off. "um, so, i made a beautiful and delicious cheesecake, 'kay, baby, taste it~ dafuc." he stops laughing and cuts a slice of it and takes a spoonful. "mhm! i'ts very good!" "really?! thank you, wonnie, dafuc!" jungwon starts laughing again and you knew why, but kept your poker face. "what? something wrong with the cheesecake?" "not with the cheesecake, but with you, baby," finishing taking a few sips on his water, he looks at you after almost chocking on his dessert. "you are so weird with this dafuc thing..." "um... okay? anyway, how much would you rate it? dafuc." "out of ten?" "yeah, out of ten dafuc," "a nine." he shrugs. "WHAT? WHY DAFUC?" "because the one who made this is weird," "you're done, jungwon." "... aren't you gonna say the word?"
― 𝓻iki: mocks you by mimicking you.
"hey y/nnies! so, today i brought my boyfriend and we are going to rate this week's crumbl cookies, are you ready baby? dafuc..." "yeah," he nods, checking himself out on the camera. "stop checking yourself out, dafuc?" riki sighs, sitting back on his chair. "are you excited, babes?" "i actually am, i've never had these i just saw them on my for you page sometimes, so..." "yeah, riki never had these so.. let's get started i guess; dafuc." riki gives you a discreet side eye, squinting his eyes at the camera mocking you while you opened the box. "and for our today's crumbl of the week we have... chocolate chip, a... butter cake? i think it is; a peanut butter one, the original pink sugar cookie, a strawberry cupcake and the new york cheesecake cookie, dafuc!" "what was that?" "what do you mean?" you whisper, kind of ignoring him.
"okay baby, which one you want to try first? dafuc!" side eye. "um... this one...?" he points to the strawberry cupcake flavoured cookie. "alright, this is the strawberry cupcake, dafuc." you handed him the cookie, waiting for his reaction. riki bit it and handed the cookie back to you. "what do you think?" you asked after taking a bite out of it. "i dunno..." he shrugs, scrunching his nose. "'kay guys, i forgot to mention riki doesn't really like these sugary things ― slash ― cookies, so... dafuc, yeah, but, how'd you rate it?" "4 dafucs and a half."
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© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆
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illusioncanthurtme--art · 1 month ago
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🔺Link to my Patreon!🔺
OH GOD I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO WRITE IN THIS DESCRIPTION
TO GET TO THE POINT - this is like a trial run to see who would be interested in supporting me this way! I have a lot of drawing and writing ideas, which contain scenes I'd only ever be comfortable putting on patreon. I desperately want to keep drawing stuff like this for my patrons, but I also don't want to write and illustrate a graphic novella full of billford sexcapades and have it only hit the eyeballs of three people. I would be really sad. If I feel like I have enough people seeing my patreon stuff after this, I'll make more!
To clarify: that thing I drew of ford fucking bill is on my patreon right now for early access, I'll share it here in maybe a week or so. To sweeten the deal, The other drawing will only ever be on my patreon! Currently it has two likes and no comments and I REALLY WANT PEOPLE TO SEE IT!!
ANOTHER clarification: I will be drawing SOMEWHAT nsfw things for my $5 tier. As of right now, I'm not drawing anything explicit. No nudity below the waist, basically. I'm drawing what I'm comfortable with, but hey, that could change with time! I'm getting my sea legs. (I will probably draw bills void-ussy at some point though. What? He's a triangle, who cares)
I think that's all I have to say... anyway, *squidward voice* spare change ma'am (here's another link to my patreon)
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loulovingho · 2 months ago
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prompt: silly or angry sex? idk!
how about silly and angry sex? also, I don't write smut often so please forgive me.
“I really, shit, really don't wanna fight with you while your, oh yeah, fingers are in my ass.”
“Finger,” Tommy corrected, slowly and deliberately massaging over Buck's prostate. “Just the one right now.”
“God, you’re so annoying,” Buck huffed, his back arching slightly as Tommy's other hand rested over his stomach.
“Would you like me to stop?” Tommy asked. The way he was keeping his voice so calm and casual made Buck want to wring his neck a little bit.
“Stop being annoying?” he replied. “Yes.”
“Stop fucking you,” Tommy clarified, pouring a bit more lube on his fingers and adding a second along with the first, “so you can fight with me?”
Buck sucked in a breath, then let out a long moan. “Oh fuck no, don't stop.”
“Mm,” Tommy hummed. He ran his hand up Buck's chest, dragging it back down slowly. His fingernails scraping over Buck's nipple on the way. “So fighting while fucking it is.”
“Fuck. S'not fair,” he said with a glare, fucking himself on Tommy's fingers. One of his hands flailed out until it found Tommy's thigh, gripping it for dear life. “Kiss me.”
Tommy shook his head. “Tell me why you're angry first, Evan.”
“Mmm,” Buck's head lolled to the side, his eyes drifting shut in pleasure. “Don't remember.”
Tommy twisted his fingers, driving in with a particularly hard thrust.
Buck's eyes shot back open and up at Tommy, his hand squeezing tighter on his thigh. Tommy would have bruises in the morning, which sent chills up his spine.
“Yes you do,” Tommy said, staring back at Buck. “Now why are you mad?”
“Be- Because, oh right there, because you forgot to take the meat out of the freezer again.”
“And?”
“And I reminded you, uh, uh, uh, you like five times while I was at work.” He smacked at Tommy's thigh. “Add another finger, Tommy, please.”
Tommy obliged. He removed his fingers and added more lube, warming it up before pressing three against Buck's hole. “Deep breath in and-”
“Let it out slow, yeah yeah, I know. Not my first rodeo.” He rolled his eyes but drew in a deep breath, slowly releasing it as Tommy worked three fingers into him. “You feel so fucking good,” he said, sounding more annoyed about that fact than anything. He couldn't handle it anymore. He reached up and pulled Tommy down over him in a messy, angry kiss. He bit down on Tommy's bottom lip, causing him to hiss ever so slightly. He took that opportunity to practically stick his tongue down Tommy's throat, tasting his fresh mint mouthwash that he always gargled after dinner.
A dinner which was take out tonight.
Because he forgot to take the meat out of the freezer.
For like the fourth time in a month.
Tommy's fingers were moving inside him earnestly now, Buck meeting every thrust. “I know you, mhm, apologized but I really, uh, don't understand, yes, yeah, how you could f- forget like that, faster, Tommy, fuck me.”
“You feel so good around my fingers, Evan, God.” Tommy moaned into Buck's mouth as Buck reached down and took both of their cocks in his hand.
Their bodies were at awkward angles, with Tommy not able to move as deeply into Buck with each thrust. But, judging by the sounds coming out of his mouth, Tommy was still hitting all the right spots.
“Fuck, I'm close, Evan.”
“Me too, Tommy. S- so close. Just, oh shit yeah!” Buck came with a shout, Tommy following closely behind him.
They laid there for a few seconds in silence, their sweaty bodies pressed together as they caught their breath.
Eventually, Tommy pulled his fingers out of Buck and plopped down beside him in the bed.
“Shit, I love angry sex,” Buck admitted, rolling over to press himself against Tommy's side.
Tommy laughed, his arm wrapping around Buck's back as he pressed a kiss to his temple. “Why do you think I keep forgetting to take the meat out of the freezer?”
“I knew you did it on purpose!” he exclaimed, leaning up just enough to look at Tommy.
“Well, after the aggressive blowjob you gave me the last time it happened, I had to test my theory. I do, however, promise not to use this knowledge against you in the future. No matter how tempting.”
Buck's eyes darkened as he pulled Tommy in for a kiss. “You're incredible,” he said. “You can use it against me anytime.”
Tommy raised an eyebrow at that and Buck continued. “Well, not any time. Like, if people are coming over for dinner, or if I have a special meal planned. Actually, I could make a detailed list of exact times where it would be appropriate to-”
“Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“You know there are other things I could do besides not take food out of the freezer, right?”
“Like... Like what?” Buck asked, shivering a little as Tommy's hand ran up and down his spine.
“I could occasionally leave my laundry on the bathroom floor.”
“E- Even your gym clothes?”
“If you wanted.”
Buck could feel his heartbeat speeding up. He'd be a little concerned about what this literal dirty talk was doing to him if he didn't currently find it so damn hot. “What else?” he asked.
“I could not take out the trash on trash day. It'd have to sit there another whole week before it got picked up.”
Buck pressed a kiss against Tommy's jaw, then started working his way down, ghosting his lips over Tommy's pec. “I would be livid,” he said before giving the skin there a little bite.
“I know. I could forget to pay a bill. Make you deal with a late fee.”
Buck was on top of Tommy in a second, his thighs straddling Tommy's hips. He was mad at the mere thought of that happening. But so fucking turned on he was already hard again. It wasn't just the idea of more angry sex that made him horny, it was the fact that Tommy was so competent with his forced incompetence that Buck needed him inside of him immediately. It was all very confusing, and Buck made a mental note to dwell on it later.
But for now. “Tommy?”
“Yes, Dear?” Tommy asked with a grin, his hands coming to rest on Buck's waist.
“I'm gonna need you to fuck me.”
Tommy gripped Buck tight, flipping them over quickly so he was back on top. He pressed a chaste kiss to Buck's lips before reaching for the lube. “Yes, Dear.”
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ineffable-romantics · 1 year ago
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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:
This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:
First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)
These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.
I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.
This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.
Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.
This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.
If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.
With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.
Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can
Food
Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).
This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.
Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.
(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)
Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.
The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.
And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.
It's What Humans Do
In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).
He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).
What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.
But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.
Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?
Angels, Demons, & Asexuality
Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.
Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)
And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).
The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.
I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.
Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.
Except...
Brielzebub
We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.
For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.
And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).
Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.
Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.
Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction
But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?
And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.
At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).
So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?
I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.
After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)
Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.
However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".
Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.
I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.
But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.
(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)
More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.
Aziraphale's Hedonism
Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.
It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.
Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.
Dancing
I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.
I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.
We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.
(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)
As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.
Love Languages
I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.
We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.
You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.
The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).
And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.
So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.
So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.
"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"
Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.
First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")
(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)
More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.
Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.
The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).
Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.
Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.
The Birds & The Bees
Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.
Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.
Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.
The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma
The Kiss. Where to even begin?
This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.
Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.
It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.
Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.
Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.
So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.
I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.
What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.
All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.
(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)
Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).
Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.
In Conclusion
I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.
So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.
You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.
But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.
___________________________________
Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post
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livingformintyoongi · 6 months ago
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yoongi fucking his girlfriend raw for the first time and her telling him to cum inside because she wants his babies
First time
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a/n: as the request did not have many specifications I went straight to the point, hope you don't mind 😣. warnings: Breeding kink, a little bit soft, in fact there are not many warnings, it is quite soft. wc: 1.1k taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @zent9 @superbbananananana
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"Shit" you moaned, squirming on your sheets as you felt Yoongi's fingers touch the exact spot that made the knot in your belly get tighter and tighter, although, come to think of it, it could also be due to Yoongi's tongue teasing your clit.
"I haven't done this in a long time" he whispered, straightening up as he pulled his fingers from inside you and licked them. During all that time he didn't take his eyes off you and your body. "Do you think you're lubed up enough to get my cock in?".
"Yes" you sighed, resting a hand on your chest in an attempt to calm your heartbeat. It wasn't very helpful, but at least you tried. You turned your head toward your nightstand, reaching your shaking arm toward the drawer to pull out a condom. You frowned as you felt Yoongi's hand stop you quickly, "What's wrong?" you turned to look at him, returning your arm to its place.
"It's just..." he scratched the back of his neck, grimacing with his mouth. His cheeks were barely tinged with a pastel pink color you'd seen once or twice when he felt too embarrassed, "could we, you know, do it without a condom? Only if you want to" he hastened to clarify, avoiding looking you in the eye.
"It's okay" you cupped his cheeks, caressing them gently, "we've been together for years, and I doubt that with one time anything will happen" you smiled at him as reassuringly as you could, hoping you could convey that feeling to him.
"God, I love you so much," he settled between your legs, moving down until he was face to face with you, "I don't think you can imagine how much I do," he kissed your jaw, leaving a trail of kisses running all the way from where he started to your bra.
"Then show me how much you love me" you whispered in his ear, hugging his neck and pulling him even closer to you. You shivered slightly as you felt his breath collide against your chest.
"Oh believe me, I will" he laughed softly, gently pushing the tip of his cock inside you. You both moaned before the skin to skin contact. It was your first time doing this, and although it felt strange, it was a sensation you definitely wouldn't regret feeling. "How is it possible that after all these years you're still so tight?" he growled over your collarbones, leaving a mark right in the center.
"Don't ask, just enjoy it" You tried to laugh, but were quickly interrupted by a lunge from Yoongi.
If there was one thing that characterized Yoongi in sex, it was that he would never start soft and gentle. He liked to go straight to his climax point, feel as much as possible in the shortest time and repeat it over and over again until he was satisfied. That was your Yoongi.
"Feels good" he murmured against your skin, pounding your pussy hard. A shit-eating grin appeared on his face as he heard you moan loudly the moment the tip of his cock hit your G-spot. He loved how you reacted every time he found that sensitive spot.
"Fuck" you brought your hands to his hair, pulling on it to keep yourself grounded. You let your head fall back, giving Yoongi the opportunity to lick, bite and mark your neck as he pleased. 
Yoongi moaned as he felt your walls clench around him tightly, clinging to your hips as if his life depended on it. It would probably leave marks, but he didn't care right now, neither you nor him.
"I love the feel of you squeezing my cock," he said as he closed his eyes and concentrated on increasing the speed of your onslaught. His hand gently caressed the marks he had left on your neck, causing a soft sigh to escape your lips.
"More" you moaned, moving your hands down from his hair to his shoulders, burying your deep red nails into his skin. 
"More?" he teased back, taking one of your legs and pulling it up his shoulder. You moaned loudly as you felt his cock go even deeper than it was before. "Shit, Y/N, you're so sensitive" he laughed, moving his hand down to your womanhood to take your clit between his fingers and play with it as he pleased.
You hunched your back to him, closing your eyes tightly. The knot in your stomach was becoming more and more unbearable and you weren't sure how much longer you could continue. "Yoonie" you whimpered between moans, looking up at him with misty eyes and dilated pupils.
"It's okay, it's okay, I've got you" he bent down a little, just enough to kiss your cheek, "do it as soon as you're ready."
You nodded awkwardly, starting to move your hips against his so you could get your long desired release. The moment you came your whole body trembled from the spasms, and you almost melted as you felt Yoongi embrace you as carefully as possible with the intention of regulating your body's movement. 
"That's it, fuck, you're squeezing me so good" Yoongi closed his eyes, concentrating on how good your tight, wet pussy felt. He was so immersed in the sensation that he almost forgot he wasn't wearing a condom. "Shit" he whispered, trying to get out of your pussy as quickly as possible. He moaned in surprise as he felt you imprison his hips with your legs. You still looked a little tired from your recent orgasm, but apparently you were determined not to let it out. "Honey, I'm going to come soon, I need-".
"Cum inside" you whispered, moving your hips against his, "I want you to come inside, I want to have your baby."
And that broke Yoongi for a few seconds. Only for a few seconds, because almost instantly he reacted and brought his mouth to yours in search of a desperate kiss. You gasped as you felt Yoongi's thrusts get deeper and stronger, and only moments later, you felt his cum spill inside you as you swallowed your boyfriend's moans with the kiss.
You both fell silent after finishing. You kept your eyes closed and your hand in his hair, he, for his part, had his head resting on your chest, caressing your waist with his fingertips. "Y/N?"
"Yes?" you whispered, giving a yawn. Fucking Yoongi always wore you out, even though he was the one doing most of it.
"We're going to need a lot more cum if you want a baby, you know that?" he chuckled above your ear, moving his hand down to your center, caressing your sensitive area.
You whimpered as you felt his intentions bump against your inner thigh, "We just finished."
"The night is still long" he nodded, kissing you passionately as he straightened back up on top of you.
He definitely wasn't going to let you sleep tonight.
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Materlist.
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sluttywonwoo · 1 year ago
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oct 3rd
bang chan x f!reader
smut mdni; unprotected sex, lil bit of degradation/dumbification
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“ready for bed, rockstar?”
chris laughs, shaking his wet curls out with the same towel he’d used to dry his body after showering.
“not quite,” he calls from the bathroom as he hangs the the towel up.
you wrack your brain, going through the steps of his nighttime routine in your head. “what’s left to do?”
he smirks. “you.”
you roll your eyes but giggle as he leaps onto the bed and smothers you with his body weight, not even putting up a fight when he starts yanking at the covers to get the blankets off you.
“i don’t even know why i bother with pajamas,” you complain, again not stopping your boyfriend from unbuttoning the top of your matching set. “i always end up naked anyway.”
“i know,” chris hums. “you should be more like me.”
“yeah? showing myself off shirtless to the whole world all the time?”
he pouts. “that’s not what i meant.”
“i know, i know. but you’re lucky i’m good at sharing, by the way. the amount of pictures of your tits that pop up on my social media feeds would make a lot of girlfriends upset.”
“you know the algorithm curates said feeds based on what you’re interested in, so you’re really just telling on yourself,” chris mumbles, slipping your shorts off along with your underwear.
“who wouldn’t be into your tits? i’m not ashamed!”
“well, they’re all yours, baby.”
“tell that to stays,” you mutter.
he chuckles and strokes your face fondly before pushing his thumb into your mouth to get you to suck on it. “they can look but only you can touch.”
you release his thumb from between your lips with a smug grin.
“lucky me.”
the aforementioned smug grin falters when your boyfriend brings his hand down and starts using that same thumb to rub your clit.
“fuck, chris,” you moan, fingers curling around his wrist.
“god, you’re soaked already… what’s this about?”
“seeing you on stage tonight,” you choke out, “you know what you did.”
“ah, did you like my solo stage, baby?” he taunts.
“fuck you.”
“yeah, i thought you would. didn’t know you’d like it this much though.”
he speeds up and you arch your back, pushing your hips into his touch. he kisses you as he works you to the edge, trying to swallow your moans so you don’t get another noise complaint. chris tries to think about who you’re sharing a wall with tonight. he knows it’s one of the boys because he was the one given all of the room keys to hand out to the members when they checked in but he couldn’t remember which one was supposed to be right next door. was it seungmin? lino? whoever it is, he hopes they're already asleep.
“what is it, baby? are you close?”
you start to nod but then shake your head. “want you,” you whine.
“you have me,” he whispers.
"want you to fuck me," you clarify.
"oh really?"
you tug at his arm, motioning for him to get on top of you. he obliges and you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him even closer. it works but he doesn't slide inside of you just yet. instead, he teases you with it, moving his hips like he would if he were fucking you.
“need me to stretch you out first?” he asks.
“nah, you have to get up early in the morning we should make this quick.”
“how romantic,” he scoffs.
“you felt how wet i was! i don’t need anything else. just your cock.”
he sighs, hanging his head. "fine."
"don't be so dramatic," you murmur. "if you're that torn up about it you can wake me up with your fingers. or use them to push your cum back inside of me after you fuck me."
chris buries his head in your shoulder, whimpering out a quiet "fuck" against your neck as his cock twitches between your legs.
"i love you," he moans.
"i know," you reply. "i love you too."
chan finally pushes into you, just the head at first, but it's enough to get you to moan.
"shh, baby. don't want the neighbors to hear."
you nod in understanding, biting your bottom lip. "sorry."
"s'okay. i know it feels good."
"feels so good, channie," you agree.
he lifts an eyebrow. "channie already? wow, baby, you're even further gone than i thought."
"c-can't help it."
"i know. only takes an inch of cock to turn you into my soft girl, huh?"
"mhm."
"what'll happen if i give you more? are you sure you'll be able to take it?"
you tighten your thighs around chan's hips, trying to force him deeper inside of you. he's much stronger than you, though, and easily resists your efforts.
"i can take it!"
"you sure?"
"yes, i'll be good! i'll be so good!"
"i know you'll be good," chris chuckles. "you're always- almost always good for me. i'm just worried any more of my cock will make you completely brainless."
"so? when has that ever stopped you before?"
"good point."
"please, chris," you beg, tears gathering on your lash line.
"it's back to chris? what happened to channie?"
"i'll call you whatever you want if you fuck me," you promise, moving on from begging to bargaining.
"i don't care what you call me-"
"oh, hyun-"
"except my friends' names," he mutters, scoffing in disbelief. "that desperate you're resorting to brattiness now? i should just pull out and-"
"no, please! i'm sorry!"
"i'm sure you are."
you want to point out that you know he loves it when you're a little bratty, that he gets off on it, but you also know that it won't help your case.
"i'll make it up to you," you say instead.
"yeah? how?"
"you'll find out."
"is it by making me cum?"
you purse your lips. "maybe?"
he rolls his eyes. "fine, but i bet i'll make you cum first."
you offer him your hand and shake on it despite not discussing any terms or stakes.
"you're on."
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magewritesstories · 5 months ago
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[ SPENCER REID ] IT'S BASIC MATH, REALLY
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cw. my continuation of unit chief!spencer reid x gen z!agent, in this installation you try to explain girl math to him [fluff.] wc. 601 (it's a small blurb)
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SPENCER REID KNOWS MATH; HE HAS A PHD IN IT TO PROVE SO. But somehow you've managed to stump him (which happens more often than the genius would like to admit) with the concept of what you call 'girl math.'
It started when you walked into the small crowded bar near the Quantico building where the team had decided to meet up after a particularly satisfying arrest.
You strutted into the room in a pair of gorgeous, expensive-looking shoes, and of course, Penelope had to comment on it.
"Oh my God, Y/N," the blonde practically squealed as she pulled you into a hug, "You look even more gorgeous than usual—I love, love, love those shoes!"
You let out a soft laugh as you joined the rest of the team at the table with a quick greeting. "Thanks, Pen, they were actually pretty cheap," you reply, "I got 'em at Bloomingdales."
"Really?" JJ asked, joining in on the conversation, "Were they having a sale?"
"Nope, but they were only $156," you answer.
Spencer raised his brows in surprise, "You think $156 is a cheap price for one pair of shoes?"
"Mhm," you hum as you take a drink that Luke hands you, "It's girl math."
"Come again?"
"Girl math," you clarify, standing closer to him so that he can hear you over the loud music.
Spencer leans towards you instinctively, genuinely curious about whatever 'girl math' was.
"So, basically, these shoes cost $156, right?" you say as he nods along, "But they're comfortable and cute, plus they go with like four different outfits, which means I'll be wearing them a lot. In the coming month, I'll probably wear them, like, 10 maybe 15 times. Which means that they actually only cost me around 10 to 15 dollars—you know, if you divide 156 by the amount of times I wear them."
"But you don't pay for the shoes in installments," Spencer replied in confusion, "And your shoes aren't a car, the amount you walk in them doesn't depreciate their value like mileage would a car."
You shrug as you take another swig of your drink. "But this way, I make myself feel better about spending $156 on shoes," you reply with a grin.
"So it's a form of consolation?" he replied with a small grin playing on his lips.
You roll your eyes as you give him a soft shove, "Shut up, Dr. Reid."
Spencer lets out a laugh at your playful eye roll.
"Well, either way, you do look nice in them," he said.
"You sayin' I don't usually look nice?" you teased, leaning even closer to him.
The close proximity suddenly made him realize the rest of the team had magically vanished from the table.
(Luke and Penelope had managed to drag JJ and Emily to the dance floor, while Matt, Tara, and Rossi were making conversation with the bartender.)
"Silence, really, doc?" you continued, feigning a hurt expression, "I'm hurt."
"I—I—What, no!" Spencer quickly replied, turning back to you, "That's not what I—what I mean was you look nicer than usual—not that you don't usually look nice or anything—"
You laughed, throwing your head back just a little, as you stopped him from digging himself an even deeper grave. "Calm down, Spence, I was joking."
You put down the now empty glass and grabbed his arm. "C'mon, you need to loosen up, let's dance."
Spencer let you drag him to the dance floor, where he pointedly ignored JJ and Emily's surprised faces as well as Luke and Penelope's eyebrow wiggles.
He was never going to hear the end of this.
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yothangie · 24 days ago
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First date?!… HELL NO
Genre: dad san, husband san, overprotective dad, teenage daughter, angst, fluff at the end
Summary: Your daughter (15) gets asked out, her first date. San doesn’t like it, he doesn’t approve, he is in overprotective dad mode.
Wrd cnt: idk i lost count 😭
Join the taglist Dad ateez Masterlist
"mom guess what" your daughter enters the house.
"remember the guy i told you about"
"i remember you telling me about 2 guys" you replied
"im talking about the guy that dances at dads studio" she clarifies
you nod your head along, pretending that you remember who the guy is.
"anyways, before class ended he asked me out on a date" your daughter squealed.
"oh thats nice, does your dad know? since the boy is from his studio" you asked.
"god no, he cannot know so please don't tell him" she plead
"you know he's gonna find out eventually and he's not gonna be happy" you said
"he's not gonna be happy regardless, he scares all the guys that go near him" she pouts
"I can't be friends with uncle Yunhos son cause dad glares at him"
you let out a small laugh as your daughter pouts.
“you should go freshen up before your dad gets back” you said
your daughter rushes up to her room knowing her dad takes forever in the shower.
———
After a few minutes your husband San walks through the door, a little tense that usual.
“is everything okay?” you said
he sighs and leans over the counter.
“i heard a little rumor at the studio” he starts
You had a feeling what the ‘rumor’ was but you didnt want to give anything away
“what rumor did you here” you asked
“funny rumor, that one of my advanced students asked out MY daughter on a date” he said he almost sounded offended.
“why is that funny” you questioned
“it’s funny because she knows she’s not allowed to date and apparently she said yes”
“did she happen to say anything to you by any chance” he asked
you tried your best to not make it seem obvious but San has known you for years he was quick to catch on.
“no she didn’t” you quickly said.
“are you sure” he raised an eyebrow.
“yeah, she just came and told me about her routine and went to go wash off”
“liar!” he said
“she didn’t do any routines today she practiced her tumbling and tricks”
you looked away knowing you messed up, you pretended you needed something to do in the kitchen.
“she told you didn’t she” san followed you.
he grabbed your arm turning you around, making some heavy eye contact.
“you know i don’t like it when you lie to me” he said
you bite your lip full of nerves, you didn’t want to throw your daughter under the bus.
“yes mom knows and it’s not a rumor”
you both looked over and see your daughter sitting at the table. San let’s go of you and walks over to your daughter.
“so you did get asked out” San said
“i did and i told him yes” your daughter said
“well tomorrow tell him no”
“i’m not, im going out with him” she stands up
“no you’re not, I’m not allowing you” san says crosses his arms
“are you serious?”
“yes im serious and that’s final” san sternly says
“you never let me do anything, you put me in a all girls class, i can’t be friends with uncle yunhos son cause you’re always glaring at him, i can’t even go out with my friends, hell they don’t even ask anymore cause they know you won’t let me i just want to live my life without having you be overprotective all the time” she snaps and storms off to her room.
“was i too harsh” San turns to you.
“a little” you replied
“was she right though” he mumbled
“kinda in a way” you ran your fingers through his hair.
“like what”
“well, umm everything” you said
“you can be very overprotective at times, it can sometimes make her sad”
“do i make her sad” san pouts
“you know she tells me everything right”
San slumps on your shoulder, letting out a little whine.
“i just want to protect her, i never want to see her sad and heartbroken” he said
“i know but she’s growing up and eventually she’s gonna have to experience all this” you said
“what do i do? i made my princess sad”
you pulled san away from you, turning him around and pushing him towards your daughters room.
“go talk and apologize to her, that’s all she wants” you advised.
San takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.
“princess can i come in” he says
the silence on the other side scares him, he looks over at you not knowing if he should go in or not, you signaled him to open the door and go in.
He does just that and sees his daughter curled up on her bed facing the wall, he moves closer and sits on the bed.
Your daughter sniffles a bit before turning to see her dad sitting up a bit.
One thing San hated was seeing his precious daughter cry, it’s even worse cause he was the reason for these tears.
“I’m sorry” he engulfed her in hug
“i didn’t realize how overprotective i was until you snapped”
“i’m sorry i snapped at you” you daughter said.
“don’t apologize, you have every right to” San wipes her tears.
“it just hurts to see you grow up, i didn’t think it would be this fast”
“does that mean you’ll let me go out with him” your daughter said, she added her pretty please face san can’t say no to.
“NO! you’re not dating till you’re 30” he pushed her closer to him
“dad please!” she whines
“fine, he’s a good guy and i can trust him around you” he said
“yay! thank you thank you” she squeals
“but on one condition”
“your mom and i go drop you off and pick you up” he said
“deal!”
“and no kissing or hand holding or hugging” san said
“ugh you can’t be serious” she whined.
“do we have a deal” san smirked
“deal”
San let out a big smile hugging his daughter again.
“dad can you please go freshen up”
—————
please comment or use my ask to be added to the taglist my urls are not working 💔
Taglist: @reooreo @starhwahwa @nnnarchives @enbymingi @nvdhrzn @strawberry-cube @jjoongstar @tinyelfperson @soso59love-blog @pai-fe @Kkumiikumii @blackb3ll @marvelfanatic4life @n3neni @everythingboutkpop @taz-97 @aloverga
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lowkeyrobin · 7 months ago
Note
hello ! i was wondering if you would be able to write a fic of Percy ( PJO ) befriending a child of ares reader ( or hypnos , either is fine ! ). If you are not able to, that is alright as well! Have a great day / night !
- 🗡️
hi 🗡!! of course I could! I did child of hypnos because I thought it was cooler and shit idrk ; also gave reader some little sleep powers cause why not ; have a good day/night to you as well! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!
PERCY JACKSON ; slumbering demi-god
summary ; you meet good old Percy Jackson and helped him when he couldn't sleep
warnings ; language
disclaimers ; Percy is a little ooc but I was attempting to make him a little bit older (about 14-16 but no like danger or quests to go on yk)
word count ; 710
masterlist
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"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry!" You exclaim, holding your shoulder after accidently walking into another camper.
"You're fine, sorry, that was my fault" He awkwardly smiles, "You okay?"
"Yeah, sorry"
"What's your name? I don't think I've seen you before?" The boy asks, pushing his curly blonde hair away from his face.
"Y/n" You answer, rubbing your eyes a bit, "Sorry, really drowsy this morning"
"You say sorry a lot"
"I know, jackass"
"Gods, okay, damn"
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"Oh, yeah, I know Y/n" Annabeth nods, "They're a child of Hypnos, like, the personification of sleep and slumber"
Percy nods, humming in response. "So, like, they just sleep a lot?"
"They can make people sleep slash fall into a deep slumber on command, basically. But they have to sleep a lot to keep themselves charged"
"Huh, interesting," Percy shrugs. "Like how I just drink gallons of water every day to keep myself hydrated? And somehow I don't fall ill to water poisoning?"
"Yeah, something like that, Perc"
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You roll your eyes, sending the young camper to sleep on command with a wave of your fingers. "Sorry, but I'm not dealing with cranky kids in the morning"
You sigh, retrieving outside to get a breath of air before heading to bed.
"Hey, Y/n!" You hear a slightly familiar voice call.
You quickly turn your head toward the source of the sound, that kid you bumped into earlier today. He still wears the same orange Camp Half-Blood shirt, his blonde curls a mess upon his head now.
"Hi?" You reply, more like a question if anything. "I don't know your name, so-"
"Percy" He answers, "So, like, you can make people sleep on command?"
"Mhm," You hum, "What? You need some sleep?"
Percy awkwardly rubs the nape of his neck with a sideways smile. "Uh, yeah. Kinda, yeah"
You softly smile, walking down to him. "You're lucky I'm not forcing you to sleep right here, Percy. Lead the way home"
He spins on his heels, leading you toward the Poseidon cabin, which he ran and was the only resident of. He welcomes you in, apologizing for the mess of empty water bottles across the floor.
"Gods, how much water do you drink?" You ask him, picking a few up to throw them away. You were not navigating through that whole maze at a time like this.
"Uh, a lot," He answers, not really giving a definite explanation. "Sorry for this, by the way. I just haven't been able to sleep recently-"
"It's fine." You shrug, tossing the empty bottles into the bin. "What I'm here for, right?" You smile, re-tying the drawstrings on your pajama pants. "You can like, lay down, unless you're planning to sleep on the floor"
He nods, climbing into his bed. Halfway through the motion, you wave your fingers, and into slumber, he falls. His blanket is halfway draped over him, his arm hanging over the side of the bed.
"Night-night, Percy"
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"Y/n!"
"Hey, Percy"
"You couldn't have at least let me get covered?"
"I'd quiet down, Percy"
"You-" He groans, "You know what I meant"
"You wanted to sleep, no?"
"I meant you probably could've waited for me to actually get in my bed before spelling me to sleep with your fantasy fairy powers," He clarifies.
You shrug, leaning against the fence outside your cabin. "You got what you wanted, Jackson"
His eyebrows quickly furrow, "I never told you my last name"
"It's almost like you're a camp hero, dude" You playfully roll your eyes. "How'd you sleep?"
Percy opened his mouth to speak but was quickly stopped, realizing that you had the advantage here and he'd already lost.
"Good" He admits.
"Just good?"
"Great, actually"
"Will you be recommending my services to other people? On a scale of one to ten, how likely is that?" You ask, mocking some trivia at the end of an online therapy session.
"Oh, definitely an eleven. I'll get you more money and clients, don't worry."
"Yeah, sure, buddy"
"Buddy?"
"I'm testing the waters to see how much I can annoy you"
Percy sighs with a laugh choking him, "I like you Y/n"
"Yeah, you're cool, Jackson"
"Okay, that's just kinda creepy."
"Okay, that's too far but not buddy?"
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mypoisonedvine · 10 months ago
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NEED to read zemo/bucky/reader and I feel like you would nail it!!!! maybe with 98?? LOVE YOU J.D!!!!!!!!
oh my god I haven't written a threesome in SO LONG and of course this turned into a whole oneshot UGH. oops
98: "what happens next in your fantasy?"
warnings: smut (18+ ONLY!!!), threesome, oral m and f receiving, spitroast, overstimulation, hair pulling, slapping, degradation and praise, brief mention of smoking?, basically just nastiness with almost no plot at all!!
word count: 4.4k
100 random prompts - send me a number and a character!
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"I shouldn't have said anything, okay?" you whined, hoping he'd drop the subject-- and Zemo walked in right then, which seemed like the perfect opportunity to change the topic.
"What shouldn't you have said?" Zemo pressed, and you sighed.
"It's-- it's nothing," you shook your head, "I just had a really weird dream last night."
"About?"
You wanted to end it there, but Bucky had to chime in, of course. "Let's just say, this dusty old apartment was getting to see some action for the first time in a few decades," he informed Zemo proudly, who smiled knowingly and continued his walk to the kitchen.
"Ah," Zemo nodded, "I see."
"I swear, I've never had a dream about you like that before," you explained to Bucky.
"I wouldn't take it too personally, James," Zemo suggested as he poured himself some tea. "The subconscious is a completely unpredictable place. We can dream about almost anything, whether or not we desire it in waking life."
"Well, see, that's the weird part," you admitted, shifting nervously in the chair as Bucky stared at you. "You were there, too."
That took his attention away from the tea, certainly; he set down the kettle and came back into the sitting area, leaving his cup behind. "Still, many people believe dreams have meaning... I happen to be one of those people," he added.
"You didn't mention that before," Bucky frowned at you.
"Well, I was going to..."
"I was there, doing what?" Zemo pressed.
"Sitting in the corner reading Machiavelli," you joked. "No, you were, you know... part of it..."
"How was it?" Zemo asked instantly, getting yours and Bucky's eyes on him then.
"Huh?"
"In the dream, having both of us," he clarified, "did you enjoy the experience?"
"U-um, I mean, I don't really remember..." you coughed.
"I don't think that's true," Zemo grinned. "You're wearing it on your face now— is that why you couldn't look at me this morning in the hallway?"
Your face got warmer. "Do I normally look at you?" you deflected.
"More than you realize," he answered cryptically.
"So, it was good," Bucky assumed. "It's obvious, you can just admit it."
You did hesitate, biting on one of your nails, but you nodded, and they both smiled. "Yeah, it was... it was really good..."
"Which one of us was better?" Bucky wondered. "It was me, right?"
"You were... I don't know, you were just different," you shrugged.
"Ugh, that's such a cop-out," Bucky rolled his eyes. "Don't be afraid to hurt his feelings."
"No, really— it's hard to compare," you insisted. "You were sort of, you know, sensitive and... patient, and you—" you looked at Zemo— "were kind of... intense."
Zemo smirked. "I've been told that before, actually. I mean, by people who got the real experience."
Bucky looked with a concerned expression over his shoulder at Zemo. You found yourself biting your lip for a moment.
"I know you won't answer this question, but I have to ask," Zemo began, "did you climax?"
"Oh god," you whined, hiding your face behind your hands.
"See? She did," Zemo smiled, maybe wider than you'd ever seen. "Perhaps even more than once."
"Please shut up," you groaned.
"Holy shit," Bucky smirked, "you really liked it, huh?
"What do you say, James?" Zemo prompted, looking at Bucky, and making you get a little wide-eyed. "Shouldn't we give the girl what she wants?
"Isn't that, uh— I mean, wouldn't that be... weird?" Bucky stammered, cheeks flushing.
"You're so sheltered," Zemo mocked with a small laugh. "Sharing a partner is very thrilling when the correct amount of trust is involved."
"Wait, wait— it was just a dream, I wasn't, you know, suggesting it," you explained nervously.
"I know," Zemo replied, "I am."
There was a tense pause, where all you could hear was your own beating heart.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Zemo offered, “I know it’s a strange thing to say.  Just come here, darling.”
Though your legs were shaking, you got up off the chair and approached him slowly.  He met you in the middle, reaching up to quickly caress your jaw when you were close enough.  Bucky seemed to watch the whole thing in disbelief.  “I-I’ve never—” you began.
“It’s alright,” Zemo assured you softly, “I won’t judge you, or mock you— there’s nothing wrong with what you want.”
You nodded slightly, another form of silent permission, and he leaned in to kiss you— gentle at first, but strong enough to make your knees feel a little weak.  He deepened it quickly, putting a hand at your waist as his tongue began to tease your lips… but just when you pressed into him, ready for more, he pulled away.  He smirked at the way you leaned forward for a moment, but then he looked over at Bucky— you couldn’t quite read his expression, perhaps a bit of disbelief and… more than a decent share of arousal.
He stood up, and stepped up to you two, and you could tell he was in over his head— but you pulled him closer by his shirt, sighing as your hand felt his chest through the black fabric.  “I— I’m not sure how to—” he mumbled.
“Me either,” you smiled, “just kiss me, Bucky…”
He did, though he seemed slightly less confident about it.  What started as a shy and soft kiss turned into something more almost instantly— something hungry.  He pulled you closer by your waist, he slipped his tongue into your mouth; it was clear, somehow, that he had been waiting for this chance for longer than you realized.
You gasped into Bucky’s kiss when you felt Zemo’s lips on your neck.  There were four hands on you, running over your body, and you were struggling to keep track of which belonged to who…
Zemo pulled you off of Bucky and spun you around, kissing you roughly again.  He was less careful this time, and he was reaching up under your shirt as well; you whimpered a bit, arching your back instinctively and pushing your ass into Bucky’s— oh fuck, he was hard.  You couldn’t believe how worked up you were already.
Zemo groped at your chest, purring as he tweaked a nipple between his fingers.  You whined and pressed your legs together, feeling him smile before he broke away to look at you with a sparkle in his eye.
“So sensitive,” he praised as he pushed your shirt up to get a good look at you; he sighed at the sight, both hands cupping your breasts and massaging them carefully.  “You’re so beautiful…”
When his hands moved down, Bucky’s took their place; you shivered a little at the metal hand’s cool touch, but it was actually more of a relief than anything considering how hot you’d become.  He was a little more aggressive with the way he touched your tits— if not quite rough.  He was panting in your ear as he held and rubbed them; and Zemo was already pulling your pajama shorts down, exposing you even further… god, why did it turn you on so much.
“Look at you,” Zemo praised with a sigh, running his hands up and down your body.  “I know you must be so wet already, darling, look how desperate you are… you’ve been wet since you woke up from that naughty dream, haven’t you?”
You didn’t have to answer— he was already putting his hand between your legs, exploring your folds, both of you groaning at how slick and sticky you were.  “Fuck, I can hear it,” Bucky noticed, and you clenched inside as he said it.
Zemo gently pushed a finger into you— but you were so wet it didn’t even feel like a push, it felt like your hole just sucked him in.  He was looking right into your eyes as he did it, but that was a little too much to handle for you, mentally, so you let your eyes fall shut just before he slipped the finger back out again.
"Feel inside her, James," Zemo encouraged, "she's so warm."
Bucky sighed, rubbing his fingers around your entrance. "I-I'm going to," he mumbled in your ear, "but... not 'cause he told me to or anything."
You whined when two vibranium fingers pushed inside you, making you lean back against Bucky while Zemo’s hands pushed your shirt up even higher, giving him better access to put his mouth on your tits.  “F-fuck,” you sighed, putting a hand on the back of Zemo’s head as he swirled his tongue around your nipple— he was incredibly, annoyingly good at that, but then again, so was Bucky with the way he gently opened you up with his fingers.  “Oh my god, just like that,” you panted.
“Who are you talking to?” Bucky wondered.
“Both of you,” you whined, “fuck, don’t stop.”
Zemo moved his mouth to your other nipple, suckling harder at it, making your hips rock on Bucky’s fingers; and Bucky growled approvingly, starting to thrust them a little more confidently inside you.  “I can’t believe you didn’t soak through those shorts, doll,” Bucky whispered in your ear, “you’re drenched.  You wanted this that bad?”
You could only nod dreamily, too lost in the feeling.
Though you weren’t sure how they coordinated it, they both stopped touching you at the same time; you whined quietly, clenching inside as you longed for either of their fingers to fill you again.
“Take the rest of it off,” Zemo instructed you— but it wasn’t too firm, more just a… friendly suggestion.  “Let us see all of you.”
Stepping out of your shorts that had fallen to the floor and pulling your shirt up over your head, you tried to fight the urge to cover yourself— after all, here you were naked in Zemo’s living room, with two fully clothed men eyeing you up and down.  It was hard not to feel… scrutinized.
"What happens next in your fantasy?" Zemo purred.
"I-it's not my fantasy, it was just a dream," you insisted.
"Then let me ask you another way: what happens now?"
Instead of answering with words, you simply sank down to your knees in front of them, keeping eye contact with Zemo as you started to open his belt.
The smug look on his face should’ve driven you crazy, but it only pushed you further; Bucky, thankfully, seemed to get the idea of what was going on and began to open his belt and jeans for you.  You loved his eagerness, even if the way Zemo seemed content to just let you do all the work was a turn-on, too.
Soon enough, there were two hard cocks in front of you.  Just the idea of that was already intimidating— but both of them, at eye-level, was actually nearly overwhelming.  You took hold of them both, stroking slowly to try to wrap your head around this as easily as you could wrap your hands around them.
Not sure where to start, you did a mental coin toss and found yourself leaning towards Zemo first, wrapping your mouth around his tip and letting your eyes fall shut.  Zemo hummed, pushing your hair back as you bobbed your head. You only sucked him for a few seconds before switching over to Bucky, though you tried to keep a hand stroking each one while you moved back and forth.
It felt filthy and strange and surreal, but your biggest concern was that you were going to get so wet you’d start dripping onto the floor or something.
Yes, you’d watched porn like this before, but you never really thought you’d end up doing it— especially with these two.  You felt pretty comfortable assuming they never thought this would happen, either… but they got into it shockingly quickly: soon, you weren’t even the one deciding where you went, they simply got more and more impatient and began to guide you back and forth.  You blinked your eyes open a few times to look up at them, but in the end you found yourself totally lost in it, just leaving your mouth open them and letting them take turns fucking it until you weren’t sure who was who anymore.
Not much was said (least of all by you, with your mouth full) aside from a few mumbled curses here and there— except for one moment, where Zemo seemed to mutter to Bucky: “I don’t think she expected to like this so much.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong.  You were drooling, with tears striping your face— a side effect from repeatedly choking on both of them— and you were nearly desperate enough to rub yourself
Though you weren’t sure how or when Zemo had gotten in your head like this, you had to admit it was convenient right now; “You want more, don’t you?” he noticed, and all you had to do was nod before they pulled you up to your feet.  Zemo bent you over quickly, before you’d even really found your balance, and stood behind you.
You gasped as Zemo’s cock slid inside you suddenly, holding on tight to Bucky’s arms for balance— immediately you were rocked forward with hard, needy thrusts.  
“God, she’s so fucking wet,” Zemo hissed.  You hadn’t really heard him talk quite like that before…
You groaned at the feeling, amazed at how easily he fit inside, but clearly all the anticipation had prepared you well.  Bucky only let you have a second to adjust before he shoved your head back down and pushed his cock into your waiting mouth.  You were happy to oblige, though, and sucked him even more eagerly than before with fast bobs of your head and more pressure from your tongue.
Bucky’s fingers tangled into your hair, and his hips pushed forward to fuck deeper into your throat; you heard him groan, but it was muffled as he bit his lip.  You gagged, and they both moaned lowly.  “I can feel when you choke on him,” Zemo informed you with a grunt, “your little cunt squeezes me tighter.”
It must have been Zemo’s hand that slid up your spine and held onto your shoulder— it must have been Bucky that reached down to feel your tits— but if was your hand that ended up between your legs, rubbing your clit quickly simply because you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore.
“So desperate,” Zemo mocked— or praised, maybe?  The difference was hard to define.  “You want to come?”
You hummed in agreement around Bucky’s cock, before he forced you to choke on it again.  You never expected him to be so aggressive, nor how much it would make you crave even more.
“If you want a turn with her, James, you’d better take it now,” Zemo offered, voice thin as he tried to catch his breath.  “Any more of that and I won’t be able to stop myself again.”
Bucky roughly pulled you off of Zemo and sat back on the couch, turning you around to face away from him and pulling you into his own lap; that doll nickname felt a bit more literal when he tossed you around so easily.
You gasped as Bucky slid inside, and moaned as you realized you could so easily feel the difference between them.  “Fuck!” you cried out loudly, louder than you really meant to, as Bucky instantly began bouncing you on top of him; you were trying to move with him, but he was so much stronger and basically just using you however he wanted… it made you moan even more and roll your eyes back in your head as you realized that.  “Fuck, Bucky, oh my god—”
“See how much louder she screams for me?” Bucky grinned.
“That’s because her mouth isn’t full this time,” Zemo countered with a laugh.  “That can be corrected.”
Bucky was certainly much more… impatient in the way he fucked you; Zemo, meanwhile, was as controlled as ever as he guided you to lean forward, gently opened your mouth, and slid just his leaking head inside.  He purred as you suckled at the tip, looking up at him with watering eyes.
“Can you taste yourself?” Zemo asked you with a smile, humming when you nodded around him.  “You really soaked me, darling— I expect you to be a good girl and clean all that off.”
You moaned at the praise and took him deeper into your mouth, using your tongue to lick up every drop of your own wetness off of him.  You surprised even yourself with how shameless you were, pulling your mouth off to run your tongue over him instead, moaning as you licked him clean.
Bucky fucked up faster into you until you could barely focus on the task before you, but you still found a way: you kept Zemo’s cock in your mouth and let him hold your head, keeping you steady while Bucky moaned louder and thrusted harder.
You moaned more and more around Zemo until he pulled you away and you gasped instantly.  “Tell me how it feels,” he demanded harshly, holding your head up by your hair.
“So good,” you yelped, “it’s so fucking good!”
He surprised you with a slap across the face, but you moaned right away.  “Fucking whore,” he spat.  “Look how badly you need to be treated.  You want to come, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you sobbed, “yes, fuck, please—”
“Well, James,” Zemo hissed, “aren’t you going to help her?”
Bucky sighed and moved one of the hands on your hips down between your legs, rubbing you quickly and harshly.  Your thighs were shaking instantly; actually, pretty much all of you was shaking.
“She’s coming, James, don’t stop,” Zemo barked out another order, holding you tight by the jaw and looking right into your eyes.  “I want you to come until you can’t possibly take it anymore,” he explained with a growl, “don’t tell me to make him stop until then, is that clear?  Show us how much you can take, nothing less.”
You nodded as best you could with him holding onto your face, and tried to lean in to put your mouth on his cock again, but he held you there.
“No,” he corrected, “I’d rather get a good look at this.”
Bucky’s hand on your clit was relentless, the pressure almost too intense for you to take— but you had to take it, you had no other choice.  It started off almost slowly, a gradual descent into the numbing pleasure of your orgasm, but it didn’t stop; Zemo already made it clear he wasn’t going to let it stop until you were at your limit.  Your moans were shaky and broken from how hard Bucky was fucking you, and your eyes were rolling back already but you could’ve sworn you heard Zemo chuckle at the sight of you.  Did you really look that fucked up?
“Good girl,” he purred, “keep going.  You can take more.”
You whined louder, higher, sharper; you weren’t sure how much more you really could take of this, but you wanted to do as you’d been told and not tap out until the absolute last second.
You knew you were crying, only because you felt the hot tears running down your cheeks.  You heard Zemo encouraging you distantly, but you couldn’t quite make out any words, just the dark and sweet tone of his voice.  You heard Bucky, too, groaning deeply while you felt his fingers digging tighter into your hips.  Could he feel everything he was putting your body through?
“Fuck, stop!” you heard yourself blurt out, and instantly Bucky’s hand moved away— but his thrusts didn’t slow down.  It was just the right amount of relief, and you blinked the blurriness out of your vision.  It was almost like part of it didn’t even really hit you until then, until the aftershocks reverberated through your body.
“That’s it,” Zemo praised, “you’re alright, we’ve got you.”
“Oh god, o-oh god,” you sobbed, shaking uncontrollably— they were both holding you up, you would’ve toppled to the floor if it weren’t for them
“Fuck, m’gonna come,” Bucky groaned.
“Inside,” you gasped, even with how little mental clarity you had in that moment.  “I want it inside.”
“Fuck,” he said again.  “That’s so— god, baby, look what you fuckin’ do to me… I’m gonna come inside you.”
“Yes,” you begged with a sob, Zemo grinning as he watched you.  
Still numb and clenching uncontrollably inside, you felt the way he pumped harder and harder and harder— until it slowed down and he let out the most delicious, long groan.  You whined, but smiled, as he loosened his grip on your hips and relaxed under you, his moans and heavy breaths seeming to drip with satisfaction.  “Fuck,” he said, one more time, deeper than ever, before falling back on the couch limply.
Zemo lifted you off of Bucky— apparently a little sooner than he was ready for, because you heard him hiss as he slipped out of you— and guided you with him onto the couch, pulling your back into his chest.  He knelt behind you, kissing the back of your shoulder as watched you try to come back to reality.
“I should let you rest for a moment,” he noticed, “but you don’t want me to, do you?”
Weakly, you shook your head.
He moved in closer to you and you felt his cock, still wet with your spit, rub against the inside of your thigh— and even after all that, you arched your back deeper in invitation.
It made you blush when Zemo slid into you again, thinking about him filling you alongside Bucky’s load, especially with the way he groaned lowly into your ear.  “You want me to fuck his come even deeper into you?” he taunted, and you whined but nodded.  “I thought so.”
Everything felt so… sticky, in a disgusting but sexy sort of way; you were overly-sensitive inside, each thrust feeling so good with the fading sensitivity of your orgasm still present.  You leaned back against Zemo with a sigh, letting him hold you close and fuck you however he wanted, more than happy to just be his toy now.
“Look how cute you are when you give in to me.  You want me to use you, don’t you?” he noticed with a groan, and you whimpered but nodded ‘yes.’  “Of course,” he growled, kissing along your neck with more and more of his teeth each time.  “You want me to fuck you however I want?”
“Yes,” you sobbed.
“But this isn’t about what I want,” he explained.  “This is what you wanted.”
“Oh god…”
“You wanted us both to fuck you, at the same time.  One cock isn’t enough to satisfy you?” 
“Not anymore,” you admitted with a sigh, and he started to thrust faster and harder into you.
It turned very quickly from slow and sensual to rough and ruthless; he wrapped a hand around your neck to keep you close as you moaned and cried, anxious already to come again.  “Touch yourself,” he ordered with a hiss in your ear, “make yourself come around my cock.”
“F-fuck,” you choked out, but slid a hand over your body and between your legs to obey him quickly.  You were already so fucking close, and you knew you shouldn’t go so hard on yourself when you were so sensitive, but your desperation made you really rub hard and fast in search of that growing tension.  “Yes, fuck, m’gonna— oh god—”
“I know, darling,” he cooed, “just let go.  It’s alright, I’ll hold you— come for me.”
You didn’t literally black out, but you did sort of… lose time, in that moment.  It was like you were just floating in pleasure for a while and then all of a sudden you were laying back on the couch and you weren’t even sure where Bucky had gone and Zemo was proudly holding your legs open.
“You look so beautiful like this,” he informed you, and you blinked back at him shyly.
You expected the warm, sticky feeling as their come leaked out of you… what you didn’t expect to feel was Zemo’s mouth on your pussy, eagerly lapping it up and sucking on your clit as your eyes shot open and you gasped and moaned with surprise.
“Dude,” Bucky grimaced, “that’s fucked up…”
Zemo just hummed and took his mouth off of you, giving Bucky a confused look.  “She tastes amazing,” Zemo defended, “maybe even better after our… contribution.”
You laughed a little at the description, until he leaned down and latched onto you again, making you gasp and run your fingers through his hair.  “Fuck,” you whined, bucking your hips against his face.  Your clit was already overstimulated, and the way that he flicked it with his tongue made you shiver all over.  
Your hold on his hair made it a little easier to push him away when he sucked too hard on your sore clit; he was more than strong enough to keep going, but he stopped anyways and let you push him back with a smug, slickened smile.  “You really should try it, James,” he encouraged, “you’ll only want more once you do.”
Sighing in relent, Bucky knelt down in front of the couch— yes, at some point he’d gotten off of it, and you were too high on orgasm dopamine to notice it— and Zemo helped you adjust your hips towards him so he could just dive right in.
He gave one long lick over you first, making you shudder, and seemed to get more excited and aggressive quickly as he held onto your thighs and started to push his tongue inside you.  “Oh god,” you whimpered, and Zemo watched proudly for a moment before turning his head to kiss up your leg.
“Poor thing,” he cooed between gentle presses of his lips to your skin, “you probably thought we were done with you, didn’t you?”
~
You were on the couch nursing a cup of tea, your feet resting in Bucky’s lap on top of the pants he’d changed into after his shower; Zemo was on the balcony having a cigarette.  That was the scene Sam came back to, and he seemed to notice something was off just by the way he raised an eyebrow as he entered the living room.  “Hey guys,” he greeted.  “What did I miss?”
“Not much,” Bucky shrugged, “just a pretty quiet morning…”
605 notes · View notes
softguarnere · 11 months ago
Text
Something He Can't Have
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Edmund Pevensie x fem!reader
A/N: Not me falling back into one of my oldest hyperfixations after watching the movies this past week for Christmas 🥴 I honestly don't know what to say for myself, other than that I had fun writing this and it may have single-handedly saved me from my recent writing slump. Anyway, hope y'all like this, byeeee ✨💕 Warnings: none
Lucy lets out a groan that sounds so annoyed that it instantly draws Edmund back into the present moment. “Can I ple-ease say something now?” She asks Susan, who sits to her left at the banquet table.
Susan shushes her, but there’s no malice behind it. In fact, when she does allow a disheartened look to grace her face, she directs it toward Edmund. “No. I suppose we shouldn’t meddle.”
They’ve captured his interest. Which is something that seems nearly impossible, considering that he’s spent so much of this banquet staring at Peter and (Y/N) on the dance floor, watching his older brother enjoy dance after dance with her. And trying hard not to take it too personally when (Y/N) throws back her head to laugh every now and then at something that Peter has said. Usually, she only laughs like that at his jokes, and usually only when they’re alone together.
If Peter is making her come undone, allowing her to feel comfortable outside of the carefully crafted polite and diplomatic persona that (Y/N) has created for herself to use in Cair Paravel’s court, then she’s become relaxed with him. And who knows where that will lead?
“What are you talking about?” For good measure, Edmund tosses one last glance at the dance floor before turning his attention to his sisters.
“That!” Lucy exclaims, gesturing between Edmund and the crowd that swirl on the floor before them. “This!”
Edmund raises an eyebrow. “The ball?”
His younger sister groans, burying her head in her hands. “Oh, I give up!”
“Edmund,” Susan says sternly. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t get involved, but this has gone on long enough.” For a split second, the gentle queen loses her composure, though only ever so slightly. “I mean, for God’s sake! It’s downright painful to watch!”
Still confused, Edmund isn’t sure what to say that will clarify whatever his sisters are talking about without further upsetting them. Instead, he settles for biting his lip, glancing between his sisters and the dancing, trying to work out their meaning himself.
Susan sighs, turning to Lucy. “He’s either a better actor than we give him credit for, or he’s downright daft.”
“Help me out here,” Edmund says.
“(Y/N)!” Lucy hisses, leaning across Susan so that she can scold her brother without causing too much unwanted attention. “You’ve been following her around all lovesick for ages now, but you haven’t done anything. And now you’re all jealous watching her dance with Peter.”
“Am not!”
Lucy swats his arm. “You’ve been staring at them all night. If you like her so much, then you better do something before you lose her forever!”
In other situations, Susan might chide the youngest Pevensie sibling, telling her that she’s being a bit overdramatic before offering Edmund some sort of good-natured advice. Edmund looks to her expectantly, only to find her brown eyes full of disappointment; she agrees with Lucy.
“We can all agree that you wear green better than any other, Ed,” she says. “But jealousy is not a shade that suits you.”
“Me? Jealous?! Of who?”
But his sisters only fix him with knowing looks. It makes Edmund want to wither away from existence on the spot. He spent most of their lives before Narnia being jealous of Peter. It’s been hard, but it’s something that he’s worked on since they were crowned. He really thought that he had overcome it. Now, though, his sisters’ words, coupled with the funny feeling in his stomach . . . He feels like a man, trapped, full of guilt, and caught in the middle of something very private. Which innocent people with nothing to hide do not feel in situations like these.
I fancy (Y/N), he realizes, admitting it to himself for the first time. It feels demeaning, somehow, to put a label on the feelings that he’s been harboring in secret for so long. And I’m jealous because she likes Peter more than me, says the next one, which makes him feel even worse.
A warm hand takes hold of his and squeezes. For all the annoyance that Lucy has felt toward him in these past few minutes, she offers him nothing but a kind look and encouraging smile. “You have to do something, Ed.”
“I – “ The words clog in his throat, causing him to swallow thickly, trying to find some of the air which has suddenly become very scarce. As you spin by on the dance floor, Edmund can see how you’re smiling at Peter like he hung the moon, and how his older brother beams at you like you created all the stars. Who wouldn’t want to bask in the sun’s warmth like that? And what sort of evil would dare separate two people who appear to be so . . . so in love. “I can’t.”
“You can,” Susan reassures him. “Trust me, Ed.”
Edmund, however, can’t take his eyes off of you. “I can’t ruin that.”
“You won’t,” Susan says. And if Edmund had his wits about him, he would recognize that she says it with the tone of someone who is very sure of herself because she has access to information that no one else has. (She, after all, is your best friend. But facts like that tend to fall by the wayside in moments of intense anxiety such as this.) “Ed, it’ll be fine. Trust me.”
To unstick the words in his throat, Edmund reaches for his goblet and takes a swig of the drink from inside. If he’s really going to do this, he’ll need all the courage he can get, no matter where it comes from.
As the song ends, he pushes back his chair and begins to make his way around the table. Lucy squeals with delight from behind him, and both his sisters offer nods of encouragement and thumbs up when he turns back to them, unsure.
The next thing that he knows, he’s on the dance floor, maneuvering his way through the crowd to reach you –
He catches sight of you just as you excuse yourself from the dance floor. You disappear into the crowd before he can call out to you, though he reaches out a hand, like he might be able to catch you from afar.
“Edmund!” A well-meaning slap on the back announces Peter’s presence. His older brother throws an arm around his shoulders. He radiates heat after all that dancing. “I wondered when you might join us on the dance floor.”
“I’m not. I’m just looking for (Y/N).”
Peter’s smile doesn’t falter, despite the fact that the next words out of his mouth are devastating news. “I believe that she’s retiring for the night.”
“Oh?”
“She said that she needed some air, that she might go to bed.”
As one of Narnia’s kings, Edmund is inclined to stay present for the majority of this banquet. You, being a courtier, are free to go as you please, seeing as there are no diplomatic negotiations, no fates of any nations, resting on your shoulders. If things were different, he would find a way to go after you.
And he’s actually looking for an excuse to do so when Peter says something that makes him stop.
“I wish she would have stayed,” the High King sighs. “We were having such a good time.”
Edmund nods, hands involuntarily clenching into fists at his sides. His voice feels hollow when he replies, “It looked like you were having a good time.”
“I was thinking – “ A laugh cuts Peter off as he shakes his head, looking half embarrassed, half giddy. “I was actually just about to ask her to be my – my girlfriend.” On the last word, something most unusual happens – the High King blushes. Actually blushes! Who would have known that such a thing was possible?
To say that it catches Edmund off guard would be an understatement. He’s never seen Peter so vulnerable . . . so happy. It makes Edmund’s mouth go dry. He and Peter have had their differences throughout their lives, but he can’t just ruin his older brother’s chance at happiness.
“Oh.” Is all that Edmund can think to say. He hesitates for a moment before asking, “What do you think she’ll say?”
Peter laughs, breathlessly, happily. “Well, I’m hoping that she’ll say yes, of course. In fact – “ He glances in the direction that you disappeared in. “ – I would go talk to her now, if not for my responsibilities.”
“Go,” Edmund finds himself saying. He can feel Peter’s look of surprise mirrored on his own face. But if Peter is going to do this, if this is all really happening, he’d honestly rather get it over with. “I’ll cover for you here.”
Now it’s Peter who hesitates. After a moment, his face breaks into a wide smile. He claps Edmund on the shoulder. “You’re a good man, Ed.”
I wish I were better, the Just King thinks as he watches his older brother chase after the girl that they both love.  
From the banquet table, Lucy and Susan are giving him confused looks. Edmund only shrugs, then quietly rejoins them. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t want to explain what’s just happened. He recedes into himself, letting the party whirl by without him.
If only he were paying attention – then he would see the knowing look on Susan’s face.
. . .
It’s late when the banquet ends, and later still when Edmund slips into the library. He’s exhausted, but his mind is racing and won’t let him sleep. You and Peter had disappeared from the banquet hours ago. That’s plenty of time for his brother to have confessed to you and for you to have accepted. Dread fills him at the thought of the two of you happily announcing your new relationship the next morning at breakfast. He’ll have to face the two of you sometime, to muscle through his own pain and begin navigating a world where he has to accept that you’re in love with his older brother. But tonight, he can be amongst his books, which are a comfort.
He's so distracted that he doesn’t immediately notice you sitting by the fireplace, an open book on your lap, but a distracted look on your face as you watch the flames dance before you.
“Oh,” you both exclaim at the same time when you notice each other. The synchronicity makes you both laugh.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he apologizes.
“I didn’t mean to take your hiding spot,” you say in turn. You shut your book, but Edmund holds out a hand to stop you.
“You don’t have to leave on my account.”
You squint, studying him for a second, before nodding and settling back into the cushions behind you. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Carefully, Edmund takes a seat opposite you, gazing into the fire to gather his nerve. He didn’t expect to find you here. Didn’t expect to find you looking so . . . distracted and lonely as you stare into the fire, your book forgotten. He really shouldn’t pry. But you’re his friend, first and foremost, and he doesn’t want that to change. “Is everything alright?”
Delicate fingers pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh, collecting yourself before looking up at him through the firelight.
“Peter asked me to be his girlfriend,” you confess. Though the library is quiet, your voice is dull, hard to hear. You do not look as joyful as he imagined you would when delivering this news.
“Oh,” Edmund offers. He fumbles for words. You look upset, so he can’t congratulate you. But then again, he’s not sure if he should console you.
You stare at him for a moment, studying him just as intently as he’s studying you. “I said no,” you finally explain.
“Oh,” Edmund says again, for lack of anything better to say. “I’m . . . sorry?” Except that he’s really not. He feels quite relieved, if he’s being honest with himself.
Your brows furrow. He’s said the wrong thing, but he’s not sure where he went wrong.
“I said no,” you repeat. “Because I have feelings for someone else.”
Edmund’s heart, only on the mend for a split second, plummets. “Oh. I see.”
“No you don’t,” you scoff. “Edmund, you’re the one I have feelings for! Have you really not noticed by now?”
The words echo through the still library. They hang between you for a moment. A glorious, albeit confusing, moment where Edmund can do nothing but stare at you, unsure if he’s heard you correctly. Narnia is a magical place, but there’s no way that you could have said the very thing that he would do anything to hear.
“You do?” His voice comes so quietly that when you don’t immediately reply, he worries that maybe he hasn’t spoken at all.
“Yes. And for quite some time, I might add.”
“But – “ Images of the night swirl in his mind. You had danced with Peter for ages, looking so happy. Everyone likes Peter. They always have. And much, much more than they like Edmund. To say that you have feelings for him . . . “Why?”
You blink, taken aback. “What do you mean?”
“I mean . . . Everyone likes Peter. He always gets what he wants.”
Even in the dim glow of the firelight, he can see your gaze soften.
“Oh, Edmund.” You leave your seat, coming closer to him. He rises, meeting you halfway, so that the two of you are standing together in front of the fire. Gently, you take his hand, intwining your fingers. Your hand is warm in his. You squeeze, and on instinct, he squeezes back. “That’s not true.”
“What’s not?”
“People like you, too. I like you.” Your grip tightens on his hand. “And Peter doesn’t always get what he wants. I know something he can’t have.”
“What’s that?”
A smile tugs at your lips when you gaze up at him and say, “He can’t have this.”
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