#i don't know if they have continuous chat helplines in english

[teka-chat]

how is it that each passing day i am becoming more depressed

ah lads. say it isn't so

[mental-health-advice]

Hi! (Sorry for english, I'm portuguese)

So I've been living with two friends,( or at least I considered them friends) since october and things went well but in november we had a falling out and since then things just haven't been the same... We had a talk in january about that falling out and I've been trying to make things right but they don't make it easy and keep arguing with me for stupid reasons that don't even make sense. Since february we haven't been living in the same house (because we're only there for college and we've been sent home due to the pandemic) but in a few weeks we're coming back and I've been having anxiety attacks just thinking about it, i've been crying every day because I can't do this and I know my life will be hell when I comeback. They just tire me so much and make me feel like shit and I'm only going to be able to leave the house in september (because I have a contract). Do you have any advice on how to behave when I go back? Because I just wanna make things better but I think they'll find ways to make things worse and I don't know what to do, I just really don't wanna go back, i've been praying that the college won't open.

Hey there,

This sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. Being in college comes with a variety of different challenges, both with the classes and study involved and of course being away from home and living with other people.

I think it was really brave of you to bring this falling out that you and your friends had at the beginning of the year. I know this would not have been easy to do at all but it sounds like you have really tried to change things for the better and making living with your friends as bearable as possible despite them making things really difficult still.

I am not sure if you are living on campus on in a shared house off campus but if you are living on campus then perhaps talking to the person in charge of accommodation may be something you could think about doing. Sometimes if you are living on campus and for whatever reason are not able to continue living with the people you are and especially if it’s causing you great stress and anxiety and you have tried to remedy the problem then changes can be made regardless of a contract.

If however you are living in a shared house off campus then are you in a financial positon to pay the rest of the lease and possibly find somewhere else to live until September? If this is not possible then perhaps talking to someone outside of the friendship or to a counsellor may be helpful to bounce around different ideas that may be beneficial for you to try and give a go. I am suggesting this as sometimes talking to someone face to face can be more helpful as you have the chance to be more open and really talk about what’s going on and the other person will get to know you better which may enable them to help you further than what we are able to do so. Just an idea!

Another option may be to seek counselling for yourself so at least you will have an outlet and someone to confide in until you are able to move out of the house in September. Most colleges will offer a counselling service so this is something you could think about doing. Alternatively you can also speak to a counsellor from either a helpline or on web counselling. You are also more than welcome to chat to one of our chat admins in real time on live chat if this would be easier for you.

Again I am so sorry that you are having to go through and deal with all of this but hopefully some of the ideas I have suggested may be helpful for you!

I hope that you’re going well and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you!

Take care,

Lauren