#i don't know if i can handle all this. i wish i could rewind

[fluffyeddybear]

I have to get over this weird guilt of spending money on food.

[yoke9494]

Baby Bunny.🐇 Pt.1

Bonten mini series.

* pt. 1

*(Request) Hybrid bunny reader/ animal hybrid Bonten. First time ever writing something like this so I'm sorry if it's bad! I tried my best. Have any tips? Let me know!♥️

*Don't know how to label this chapter but the whole series will contain Angst/Smut and the fallowing TW.

*⚠️ Trigger warnings!: Sex trafficking, drug/alcohol use, stockholm syndrome, rape, (not on reader) mental and physical abuse,.. Sanzu.

_______________________________

How did you end up here?

You knew better.. You knew better than to walk home alone, especially at night.. Though you lived in a small town, covered by thick forest-- that didn't mean a predator would never find its way in..

You knew better than to stay at Molly's home for longer than you were allowed to.  But time had gotten away from you when you began to tell Molly about a date you had coming up with your boyfriend who was half lovebird. He was such a beautiful man with midnight black hair and the bluest eyes you've ever seen.

You had a feeling he was going to propose since he had been extra excited about your date together. He even told you to go out and buy a new dress, plus to get your nails and hair done also. All with his hard earned money..

She was over the moon for you! And a little jealous. Being half sheep herself, her parents only let her date her own kind. (Yes, they were stuck up and awful-- the complete opposite of your beautiful Molly. She was such a sweetheart with a soul and heart made of gold.)

Her words repeated in your head as you walked home. "I'm so happy for you Y/n! Elden is such a sweet and handsome man. Just the type of guy a shy little bunny like you needs! Eeek! Can I be your maid of honor?!"

You shook your head as you tried to rewind the memories of you day. A way to keep the fear of the darkness away.

How could you fall for such a easy trap? You replayed the event over and over in your head. Wishing you had handled it differently...

******

"Help! Oh miss.. help!"

You heard a pained voice coming from the opposite end of the road. The streetlights were always dim and didn't provide a far range of coverage.

"Help! Please! I hurt myself."

You swallowed down your fear but still couldn't move. The prey in you was too scared.

"Girl! Come help me up!"

The voice that called out to you didn't sound familiar at all. Your town was so small that you knew everyone by their voice.

Your spotted and floppy ears slightly picked itself up on instinct. Your cotton ball tail shivering as if it was dead of winter.. Something wasn't right.

Maybe you should run back to Molly's house and ask her father to walk you home. Yes you were an adult but you weren't physically strong.

Fast footsteps came your way. The person began to yell out to you again.

Your ears shot up and you began to run. Molly's house was a lot closer than your own so you decided to go there.

"Grab her! But don't hurt her! Bunnies bring in a good amount of money!"

Your heart was racing-- your skin crawled with panic and fear! You pushed yourself as hard as you could as you rounded the corner. Nearly tripping over your own feet like the idiots do in horror movies. Your poor calves felt like they were being ripped to shreds!

But there it was.. The gate to Molly's home!

You were so close! All you had to do was swing it open and run to the door and scream at the top of your lungs.

"Got you!"

No.. No. No. No. No..

Completely darkness covered your vision. You struggled against two large sweaty bodies as you tried to free yourself.-- a sour burning smell burned the little hairs in your nose. You tried to scream but your mouth was muffled, suffocating from whatever they had shoved onto your head..

"It's okay bunny-- go to sleep."

Like hell you were!

"There you go."

One of the males cooed into your ear as suddenly your body began to give up on its own. Your brain kept trying to make your arms and legs move but you began to feel like mush. Your brain became hazy and it felt like you body was a million times heavier. Your eyelids felt like they were made of led--

Voice's faded in and out..

"Took her a while-- I swear I used half the bottle."

"She's gonna be a problem... But not for us!"

*****************

Your body jerked and startled you conscious. What was going on?--

Your body felt like it was run over by a truck, your head was spinning and your could feel your body breaking out in a cold sweat.

A sudden whisper had you panicking.

"Shh. It's okay. Here drink some water."

You tried to blink the blurriness away.. Molly? Oh thank goodness it was her! You tried to speak-- to tell her about the most terrifying dream you had.

You must have fallen asleep while you both were gossiping!---

"Mol--" you couldn't get a word out. You gasped for air and it felt like you had swallowed sharp pins. Your tongue was as dry as sandpaper..

Molly whispered to you. "Shh. Don't try to talk right now. Drink-- slowly."

You felt the rim of a plastic water bottle brush against your lips.-- Expecting a flow of cool refreshing water to wet your tongue-- you gagged when a dirty taste filled your mouth. A wheeze left your throat when you wanted to ask Molly what she had given you? It tasted like nasty pool water!

"I'm sorry. It's all we have."

What was she talking about? The town had access to the cleanest well water around..

Finally your vision came to and you wanted to scream. This person wasn't your Molly!-- This person was another sheep, with the same beautiful white curls as your best friend-- but her face was different, eyes, nose, mouth and ears..

You rolled your eyes and noticed she had you on her lap. Her hand running through your hair as she wore a worried look.

Your voice was so weak. "Who are you? Where am I?"

You couldn't see anything besides her. It was so dark-- but you swore you could hear quiet whimpers and small sniffles.. Like you were surrounded by people crying?

You tried to sit up and let out another gasp. Pain ran through your body while whatever energy you just had completely disappeared..

The girl shook her head. "Please don't move yet. You still need to rest-- it'll take awhile to get whatever they used on us out of your system."

Your body was jerked again. More pain set your nerves on fire-- even the girl herself looked pained as she tried to keep herself up right.

You felt your eyes sting as you began to cry. You couldn't move, you couldn't see, you couldn't even speak! You were so scared-- you wanted to go home! You wanted you parents! You wanted your love Bird to come hold you and tell you that he'd cherish you forever.

"Rest a bit more okay? I promise you we won't hurt you-- were all scared."

What was happening?--- you needed to go home. But your body gave out once more..

-------------------

This time your body was woken up by loud clanking noises followed by the sounds of male voices.

"holland lop bunny huh? We don't get many of those. Call our clients in Tokyo-- fuck what was his name?- Hajime. The bastard has bids on the more exotic girls.."

The voices began to fade away with retreating footsteps..

Your body shivered. It was freezing! You felt sore and still a bit weak. Your eyelids felt sticky that you had to force them open--

Metal bars? Behind that was what looked like dirty cracked concrete?

With a low groan you were able to roll your body from its side to your back.-- a wave of nausea took over..

"Hey bunny. Take it easy.. you'll hurt yourself."

Your eyes roamed over... A flat rusted metal roof, more bars . Were you in a cage?!

You silently answered your own question when you met eyes with the same sheep from before. She sat on her knees in a rusted cage in front of yours.

You gasped and covered your eyes when you noticed she was naked. She let out a weird sound that almost sounded like a pained laugh.

"Don't get shy Bunny. We're all naked here.."

What did she mean? You peeked up and used the bars to slowly help you sit up. Gritting your teeth as you did-- You bones felt stiff-- how long were you asleep?

Your eyes began to water when you got a good look at what was around you. Rows of dirty cages filled with one or more naked bodies.. Mostly women, but you swore you saw a masculine body or two.. You tried not to stare-- Completely terrified and exposed just like the rest..

"What's happening?"

The sheep was about to answer you but another voice came from the cage beside you. "They're going to sell us, Break us, and turn us into slaves.."

She was a love bird just like your Eldon... Only she had chestnut hair and large gold eyes. Her face was bruised and her body was dirtier than all the rest..

"This happened to me before--. I got away.." Her eyes began to water. "But they found me-- punished me.. and now I'm going to die here."

She began to cry. Soon the room almost filled with small whimpers-- even your own tears began to roll down your cheeks.

Sold? Slaves? Breaking?--

The sheep across from you began to panic. "Everyone shh! If we make too much noise they'll come back down here again. Do you all want what the poor skunk got--"

Her eyes traveled to the cage on the opposite end of you. And you made the mistake to follow her gaze---

You let out a scream, you really didn't mean to-- Your body scurried away, closer to the love bird. The cold metal dug into your back as you tried to get as far away from the beaten and dead girl..

The lovebird reach over and covered your mouth. You could feel her shaking against you-- "Quiet!"

And you were. Everyone was-- heavy footsteps sounded like they were so close! But then they began to fade away.

Some let out a breath they didn't know they were holding. ----

A sharp pain bloomed at the back of your head. The love bird had yanked your head back by your hair.

Her voice was low but it held Anger. "You need to shut up. They won't come down here and beat you but they'll beat us. You're worth more money than half of us combined."

You scratched at her skin and she let you go. Of course she called you a bitch but you didn't care. You just wanted away from her and the deceased girl next to you. But all you could do was curl you body into a ball as you sat right in the middle of your cramped cage.

You shook your head and looked at the sheep. She was the only one who seemed a little sane. "I don't want to be sold.. I want to go home-- I miss my boyfriend, my Molly, my family.."

The sheep gave you a sympathetic look. "You don't have a home anymore pet. .. But She's right you know. Bunnies that look like you are rare. - you have the long floppy ears and huge puffy cotton tail. Your kind is naturally obedient.. Someone with money will most likely keep you as their arm candy or trophy wife. You'll have to be okay with that life if you want to live."

"--- Or they'll breed her and sell off her children till she dies.."

Another voice-- A male cat? His body was lean with a bit of muscle and he had dark grey hair, but his ears had white stripes.. He was next to the sheep and had been curled up this entire time.

His bright green eyes locked on you. "I've heard stories about that when I was working in a night club. Your kind can have a good litter if I'm not mistaken. 5-6 if you're lucky?"

You nodded... You had so many siblings it wasn't funny. (47 brothers and sisters) "I was a part of a litter of 10 actually. My mother was very fertile.."

He shook his head. "I'm so sorry. Let's hope you aren't that lucky.. They'll kill you faster if you don't provide them many spawns.."

You gulped-- but didn't say a word as your ears picked up.. Someone was coming!

You could heard two separate steps of heavy feet. They heard you scream! They heard you and were going to take it out on everyone. They'll all hate you even more--

Two dirty looking men began to walk down a couple of concrete steps at the end of the room. "Meal time!"

Almost everyone scooted closer to the bars as you stayed huddled at the back. You could hear the bowls being thrown at everyone along with soft smacking and chewing.

You didn't notice it before but your stomach began to growl.. When was the last time you ate? It had to be the dinner you had with Molly before you were taken..

When the man reached your cage he slammed a dirty metal bowl in front of the bars. He gave you a quick look that left you feeling violated.. But his attention went over to the lovebird..

What was she doing? She had curled up into a ball-- had he gotten hurt somehow?! She didn't look like she was breathing...

"Hey! Feather bitch, meal time."

She didn't flinched..

The man walked away from your cage and you scooted to the bowl.. it had what looked like white rice and some type of brown slop on top... It didt look appetizing-- it smelt sour..

You looked at the sheep and cat as they ate. The male cat locked eyes with you and motioned to your bowl. He mouthed the words "Eat." Before reaching his hands out and getting another scoop with his fingers.

The man began to hit the lovebirds cage as you reached out to the food. The rice was cold and a bit hard-- the tan mush on top tasted horrible. Sour and it felt slimy going down your throat.. But you were so hungry, so weak..

"Bitch get up!"

You stopped trying to chew and just swallowed. It seemed like everyone was trying to mind their own business and eat--

The sheep gave a quick glance and looked worried. But she held her head down and closed her eyes. The cat swiped off any food on his fingers and covered his ears.. He looked disappointed?

You scurried back into the middle of your cage when the man yanked open the lovebirds. He reached in and--

She screamed.. She screamed and called him every dirty name in the book. Her little talons scratched into his skin as he groaned in pain..

"Son of a bitch!!"

She was yanked out by her hair and began to scream. Your eyes wide as her body hit the ground in front of your cage. It was such a loud *Thud* that you were sure you heard a crack when her head was shoved to the ground..

God help her... What do you do? What can you do?!

Nothing....

His belt hit the floor before he picked it up and began to hit her back with his metal buckle. His friend had join him in holding her down.

Your tried to look away. Closed your eyes tight as her screaming made your body shake. But you could hear everything..

You heard them speak in a language you never heard. They began to laugh as you heard the zipper of their pants being pulled down..

She was crying now. You tried to cover your ears but they were right in front of you. Tears squeezed out of your eyes as they began to use her body..

She yelled, cried, begged them to just kill her..

Your heart was breaking.. "please stop."

You tried to yell. But you were a coward, a coward who was just yelling in her mind.

"Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!-- please stop hurting her!"

When they were done with her you were still yelling in your mind. Trying to escape as they threw her bruised and abused body back into her cage. She was no longer conscious but still slightly breathing--

"Bunny you okay?"

It was the cat-- why was he asking you that! You were far from okay! You could feel what you had just ate coming up your throat. Your mind panicked and brought you home.

Your mother in the kitchen, cooking.. And your father at the table telling her what was in the newspaper. Your warm home on the side of the largest hill in your town. Covered in while flowers and thick trees.

You found a way to escape... But you really should have payed attention, you should have opened your eyes.

If you did, you would have seen another man enter the basement-- You would have seen him point at a few cages before he pointed at yours.

You wouldn't have been frightened when your cage jerked and 4 men began to carry you out with a few others.

"What--?"

"Shhh." It was the cat!

He was being carried right in front of you. "Stay quiet, stay calm.."

You felt queasy all over again...

...................

[epickiya722]

As a fan of both bnha & jjk, can I ask you somethings?

-which majority of characters will survive if their universe is swithed (jjk charas in bnha verse or bnha charas in jjk verse)

-people in jjk verse have stronger mental than in bnha verse because the death rate is higher in jjk than bnha (do you agree?)

- from plot and art, which do you think is better (jjk or bnha)?

-dynamics between bakudeku or satosugu, which is written better as a duo? why?

I asked this because in twitter I found a jjk fan and bnha fan have a heated discussion to prove which is better, and that's why I want to know your opinion, thanks.....

Okay, I will warn you. This may not be the answer you're looking for but I'll tell you something as someone who does like both BNHA & JJK.

In summary, to all these questions, I like them both because of variety. Even if both stories tackle the same themes, it's like two different flavors that I happen to like. So why not have both? Hell, both of the MCs of the series are at my #1 spots for favorite characters from their respective series.

Now! To answer the questions!

**

Hm... ooh, it kinds of depends. I say both sets of characters can survive in the opposing universes if let's say the characters are going through life, just living it. Now let's say putting them in different situations, that's where things get crazy.

Training Camp Arc from JJK, put the Tokyo Students there instead and that arc would last at least an episode and a half. Hell, the villains involved for that situation would already be in the ground, not escaping or leaving in handcuffs.

Now, for this next one, I'm not saying this because Miruko is my #1 (I have another), I'm saying this next part because she's Miruko. Miruko is a character that reminds me of how Todo is when it comes to fighting. She is not going easy for anybody. She would be came out alive after Shibuya. Okay, she is like the Yuki Tsukumo of BNHA for me.

For the war arcs going on with both stories... I honestly feel like it would still be the same as they are with their canon characters. Suffering, lots of suffering still.

**

Ooh, that is a good statement right there, that is something to think about. I agree, but I also don't agree. Again, both stories touch on that topic but in different styles. JJK characters would have a strong mentality because they deal with death a lot. But same goes for the BNHA characters. But for certain characters. Rewinding a bit to part A and adding to that, characters like Rock Lock that would definitely survive a world like JJK because he thinks like Nanami. Both characters are aware of how hectic their jobs can get. They're aware of the risks people like them (sorcerers and heroes) take. And they actually think about the children put in those situations. People want to say Rock Lock was "mean", but I say he's reasonable because why would children be there fighting a dangerous group of people?

Let's that think to that first question again, but remix it! "Would the majority of JJK characters survive in BNHA or BNHA characters in JJK?"

JJK characters would definitely have that mentality to deal with the situations in BNHA. They're built for that. I can't think of one character in JJK that wouldn't. Now how about the reverse? It's going to be a selection of characters I feel like would be able to handle fighting curses and death.

Miruko and Rock Lock are definitely in that selection. Other characters would definitely be Aizawa and Present Mic. Yes, Present Mic. He's already dealt with death himself. He lost the same friend Aizawa and Midnight did.

Endeavor? Yeah, a character like him, Best Jeanist, Hawks, Mt. Lady... no. I'm sorry, but no. Before things took a left turn in the story, characters like them were more into fame, keeping face and their egos. Hawks... look... he's cool and all. He's smart, he gets the job done or whatever, but I feel like his wish to be more free and belief of "popular approval" could clash with a duty of being a jujutsu sorcerer.

Jujutsu sorcerers DO NOT DO POPULARITY CONTESTS.

**

Comparing plot and art, again, I won't say that "this one is better" because I like having variety. I like that the art styles and plots are different.

Never is better, or worse for me.

I'm just not someone to say "this art style is better". If I was, I wouldn't be following a lot of the artists on Tumblr that I do. I love seeing so many art styles. Each artist has their own distinct aesthetic that is different from the next but they all share one thing in common. They all get the "this art style is so cool" from me.

Again, why choose one flavor if I like them all?

I find both JJK and BNHA entertaining. I have been into BNHA longer, yeah. And right now, JJK has my attention.

The way each mangaka designs their manga vibes well with the story they're telling. Horikoshi's style gives "action comic book". It's perfect because that's what BNHA is. It's a story about good and evil, heroes and villains. I feel like a kid again sometimes on a Saturday morning when I would wake up to watch my hero cartoons. For Akutami, the art style is more... angular, more sharp and sketchy. The way the manga is drawn, for me, captures the tone of the story. JJK is a clean cut story of anguish. Sometimes, it's like "is there even a hope spot in this story". The style... ooh. JJK's style is like "if the movie MirrorMask could be drawn in a manga style, it would be this one", if that makes sense. Vibes are kinda similar...

I freaking love that movie!

**

Hm... I can't choose. I know, I know. But hear me out!

For SatoSugu, it's written perfect for JJK. That pair is for that story. Satoru and Suguru were a vital part for each other's lives. (My autocorrect wanted to make that "loves".) They play a part of the other's development.

Same for BakuDeku. They're a big part of the other's life and development. Their dynamic is perfect for BNHA.

SatoSugu is a pair that begins a common ground. Yeah, Satoru and Suguru would get on each other's nerves, but they would meet in the middle. They're the "strongest duo" until their relationship went sour. And even when it went sour, they still had some attachment to each other. I wouldn't be surprised if during those ten years of them being on opposing sides, they met up here and there just to check up on each other.

BakuDeku is a pair that grew up with each other. From the start, they're a constant to each other. Their relationship started good, then turned sour and now it's good but also kinda in limbo (?). The thing with BakuDeku is neither character is "evil". Bakugou is mean, yeah, but he's on the side of heroes. Their relationship, in shipping, is "rivals and/or to lovers" to me. Not "enemies and/to lovers" as I seen some people label them as.

That would be Gojo and Geto.

With Bakugou and Midoriya, they had a falling out, but with what we seen so far in the story, do each of them actually have opposing ideas? Both want to be a hero, want to win and save.

Enemies - opposing ideas, sometimes even entirely different goals

Rivals - usually on the same side, but would compete with each other, especially when sharing the same goal

That's what "enemies" and "rivals" are to me.

However, in terms of which dynamic is written better? I don't have a clear answer for two reasons.

I like both dynamics, so yeah, that again. And both stories are unfinished. So I don't have a definite answer.

Now, one would argue that SatoSugu's story is "finished", but with Gege Akutami and surprises that keep getting thrown here and there, you never know.

With BakuDeku, there's still some things that need to be wrapped up as well as covered.

**

That was long! But I enjoyed answering those questions! Sorry though, Anon, if it's too wordy!

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e3 episode reaction

episode 3 is where everything always turns to shit so I'm super not looking forward to this lmfao

ohoho the queen of sweden is having a nervous breakdown. so relatable of her.

I'm lowkey also having a breakdown over wille immediately going into prince mode just bc his mom isn't doing well.

"why do you think I didn't tell you anything? because you wouldn't be able to handle it" NNNNNOOOOOOOO

oh my god that one hit WAY too hard. I can't deal with the mommy issues today.

ugh deeply agreeing with wille. simon needs to lock his social media and throw his phone away. he's starting to stress me the fuck out.

"both for me and the people around me" oh that's... quite the sentence. I know simon just got sucker punched by the fact that it's always gonna be like this

"all I want is to be with you" well you can't!

bro I hate teenagers so fuckin much lmfao

NOT BORIS WANTING TO PSYCHOANALYZE AUGUST

that was psychic warfare from wille idc

"he's decided that I'm evil" lmao you are

"I don't see the point in being nice if he's never gonna forgive me" "well, sometimes being nice to others can make you feel very good" JDKFJDLFJDKFJDKFDJKDOGIDL BORIS LOVE OF MY LIFE

THAT IS SO SHADYYYYYY LMFAO

I genuinely cannot stand vincent. if there's anyone in that school who's legit evil it's gotta be vincent.

oh. yeah. I'm feeling murderous.

fuck you country of sweden you know what you did.

FREDRIKA TYING UP HER HAIR TOO WHEN THE HOUSEMASTER CALLS FELICE OUT OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD

god. teenage girls make the world go round.

NOT WITH THE SCHOOL INSPECTORS PRESEEEEENTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

NOOOOO SKRKSJRLSKFLSKFLSKDLSKDLD

YOU TWO KEEP REHEARSING

NOT PLAYING A SINGLE KEY AND HUMMING SIFKDLFKSLFKSLFKSLFKDLFKDLFF

oh my god my baby boys

it's the fact that them being so public means that not one (1) person in that room believed they were "rehearsing" jdkfjdlfjdlfjdl

the crown prince alone in a soundproof room with his boyfriend? sure.

god that was HILARIOUS

"I just wish I could get a single moment with you without getting interrupted" [get interrupted]

cinema

of course vincent is going to LA. my bro is going to be an oscar winner in no time, given all the dramatics.

oh

oh sweet jesus

simon, this is NOT the time or place to die on the labor movement hill

oh god

man being a teenager was so exhausting I'm so glad I don't have to do anything like that again

when they eat the rich I hope vincent is first in the grill

I hope felice singlehandedly closed the school lmao

I don't wanna like the whole sara and micke thing I really don't but UGH it's so sweet.

oh

OH

oh he's not is he

IS HE FUCKING

BROOOOOOOOOOO THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY

"he seems nice" oh august you are so clueless

this isn't happening skfkdkgkdkflf

oh my god what is it with royal boys and going "you're the only one I can talk to" y'all can afford a therapist can't you

NOT THE BAKING OHHHHH MY BABIES

"you may have inherited my diagnoses, sara, but you're not me" oh fuck

bro I am like. super into sara and micke hashing shit out, neurodivergently

I can't take wille seriously in the chorus. I cannot. he's so funny

oh god sara is coming back

oh fuck me up I love it when they're all sun kissed and beautiful and have nice lil conversations in front of everyone bc they're boyfriends publicly ohohoho

oh

oh my god

oh is that gonna be the hallway scene

not august waving at sara??? bro get up????

omg the looks from stella and fredrika were SCATHING

not them skipping and swinging their hands together you guys I'm losing my whole damn mind it's getting bad it's getting so bad

WHOOOOOOOREEEEESSSSSSS

OOHHH MY GOD

holy fuck that was....... quite the scene huh

um

let me rewind just now for a lil bit

for science

my brothers in christ you are sluts.

something abt them getting to have slutty slutty sex and finishing off with an I love you heals something in me that has been broken since 2021 ngl

like look at them! they're my boys!!! they're in love and they get to have somewhat public (bc like, a hallway? really?) sex bc they're together and everyone knows!!! they love each other and they can express that in a physical form!!!!! my little strumpets!!!!!!!

ah. fucking figures, huh

of course, thanks micke

oh they're in the literal and metaphorical afterglow!!!!! I love this for them

oh that's not a great train of thought to have after sex now is it

"you can trust me" wille, my love my darling, I love you, truly, from the bottom of my heart, but can he? can he really?

oh that's an actually genius move to show both sides of the coin

I do think simon probably should not be there. son's gonna get too much attention

oh I just remembered the episode description a hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha ha oh I don't want to watch

that was precious but I swear to god simon think with your brain for once aaaaaaaaaa FUCK

great now she just posted his location. and he also fully reposted it didn't he

is he genuinely that dumb like at this point even if you're not famous by proxy you still should know not to post your live location?????? Simon. please.

oh right I forgot the monarchy can't be seen involved with that...... I was more worried abt his safety ldjfldjfldkf

oh

oh no

I was right to worry about his safety

FUUUUUUCK

ugh

[caatws]

I can't speak for the merchandising but when it comes to gotg rides Mission Breakout is set just after vol 2 so there would be no need to change anything about it because of vol 3. Not that I think they would change the ride anyway. The newer ride is Cosmic Rewind and it's supposed to be taking place during or around vol 1. Gamora is of course included. This ride came out last year and I don't know when or how it was decided but I have been wondering if the whole rewind to vol 1 theme was picked so Gamora could be included.

I have mostly loved Gunn's work when it comes to gotg. I think he's typically thoughtful and nuanced when dealing with the abuse and trauma plots. However I don't think he had the ability to deal with Thanos killing Gamora. Gamora needed way more attention and her death should have been one of the most serious issues gotg ever had. I don't know what the perfect solution would have been but part of me wishes they would have given Gamora a solo movie or show handled by someone more willing to do the work needed to give Gamora's murder closure and Gamora an arc that was about finding a way to give back to her rather than take away. The mcu wanting to deal with hard and complicated issues is great. Being unprepared to see them through to the end or research what those situations are really like, isn't so great and honestly can send out a bad message. Vol 3 treats everything Thanos did with nonchalance. Gunn also uses the time and space since Endgame mostly in a negative way for Gamora. Vol 3 has Rocket and Nebula as much better friends and the entire basis for this is Endgame. At the same time it only lightly touches on Gamora and Nebula's relationship even though Endgame showed that was the most important thing for both of them and the entire catalyst for Gamora having confidence that her arrival to the future might be okay and they could win against Thanos. He ignores that 5 years working and being friends with other people could pose an issue for Rocket and Nebula when the guardians came back from the snap. Especially Nebula who hadn't been on the team before. It's like none of that time mattered at all. Then with Gamora he treats her time after Endgame as if it's created a permanent wall where she can't connect with these characters or be part of the guardians. And now here we are with Gamora being excluded and her value as a character being questioned which is the exact opposite of what you should want for a film about abuse survivors.

you're so right on all fronts here! i think gunn is extremely talented and everything else has been generally handled well and beautifully; for me personally it mostly only starts to all unravel when i consider the gamora situation, but looking past that, i think most of the characters got pretty solid arcs/moments/etc across the 3 films, especially considering the chaotic context of trying to fit into the greater mcu.

i'm glad rocket got the attention and care he did in this film, esp knowing how much it meant to gunn, but like i mentioned yesterday, i think it would've made more sense to put this particular story between vol 2 and iw, since the effects of iw/eg are hardly even explored in the film beyond peter grieving, the ravager gamora storyline, nebula's presence, and just other random details.

and i'm not just making up reasons to sound like a hater here lol like i've LITERALLY been saying since 2021 when mcu content resumed post-covid that, in general, one of my biggest gripes with post-eg mcu is the lack of rly going into the effects of 1) the 5-year time skip, and 2) the snap itself on most of the characters/stories, and unfortunately vol 3 ended up falling into the majority of films/shows that didn't rly deal with it much.

and my issue isn't necessarily gunn not wanting to deal with all that on top of the rocket story he wanted to do, but just like...we didn't have to make it a post-eg story then lol

in my ideal world we'd get like a vol 4 that is post-eg where it's just the gotg grieving gamora and searching for the new one, or perhaps even rectifying the whole original issue by bringing original gamora back or merging her with 2014!gamora etc. but either way, i think gamora's circumstances in her life and death warranted her getting a story just as much centered around her and driven by how much the other characters love her just as much as rocket did.

but yeah like you said anon, i just don't think gunn - or markus, mcfeely, or the russos bros for that matter - were equipped to handle this kind of storyline. and that isn't a bad thing! that isn't even a criticism of their work. it's just a literal fact that not all storytellers are equipped to handle every kind of story. and i don't think it should be A Big Deal to simply say that a white male storyteller may not be the best choice to tell the story of the consequences of a woc abuse survivor getting murdered by her abuser like lol. (bc when white male storytellers did tell that story, it was to show how the abuser actually Loved her and how there are parts of thanos we can still sympathize with UWU)

this is not even a radical opinion. this is quite literally the whole point of movements like #ownvoices and giving bipoc/queer/etc creatives jobs in directing and/or writing films/shows that center their identities.

like it literally is not that deep to suggest that local middle-aged white man james gunn (who's already made it clear that rocket was His Guy from the beginning, so we already know which character he'd prefer to focus on) was maybe not The Best Choice to write a story abt a woc surviving and escaping her abuser only to end up murdered by him in the end. he had his chance to show he was equipped to tell that story and he didn't, the end, case closed. it's as simple as that, and i don't wanna hear any dissenting opinions from white ppl, honestly!

[batemanofficial]

saw skinamarink ... not super enthused tbh but here's my review (spoilers under the cut)

first of all the child actors did a great job. they're not really ever fully on screen but you can definitely tell that the characters are scared, which is a lot harder than it looks when the audience can't see your face

the cinematography is cool, i liked that you can't really tell what's going on outside of the field of view, it really ramps up the horror

the last three jumpscares (if you've seen the film you know exactly which one's im talking about) are very effective, the buildup is very tense (the guy behind me in the theatre said 'absolutely fucking not' right before the bit with the phone) and the payoff is good

that said the rest of the jumpscares in the earlier parts of the film are less effective, they're kind of just loud noises for no reason which obv doesn't make for great payoff

you'll never hear me say this about any other film but i wish it was visually darker. and that there was less film grain. it was very obvious that it wasn't shot on film and that the grain came from a filter applied in post, and it was so grainy that it seemed like the camera was moving a lot of the time even when it wasn't

i guess that's part of the goal tho, i guess for disorientation's sake it worked but it was a little tiring at the end

the foley is bad. i'm sorry but it is. the sound they used for the kids walking doesn't sound like socks on carpet, it mostly just reminded me of the sound corduroy pants make when you walk? idk it kinda took me out of it

the rest of the audio mixing was also not so good. the dialogue was very muddy (again i suspect that's intentional but still it makes for a bit of a frustrating watch) but the sound fx were super loud, especially the jumpscares which again kinda took me out of it

the narrative was admittedly very sparse but it was very easy to follow. by like the 20 minute mark you know exactly what's going on and who's doing what (and to whom) so i appreciated that, because i went into it afraid that it was going to be deliberately opaque in terms of story but it wasn't

ok spoilers. you've been warned

the metaphor at play here is. not subtle and like i said that's great for clarity's sake, but it is very sad. this is not a feel good film, but the fact that the child abuse allegory is so prominent does make the last scare very sad, especially given the rewind/fast forward/repeat mechanic that's going on in the scene

i thought the fact that kaylee got her eyes and mouth "taken away" was handled well for the type of scare that it was, that had the potential to get very hammy but i thought it worked well in context

this is just Jaime's Theory Corner but imo that bit seemed to imply that the mom was taking away (or at least trying to take away) kaylee's ability to witness and talk about the abuse that kevin is facing, so i thought the whole "kaylee didn't do as she was told (i.e. stay quiet), so i took her mouth away" thing was effective

i thought the barbie jumpscare just didn't work. it would've been more effective imo if the jumpscare came from the barbie falling to the floor and making a loud thud (maybe even to foreshadow a body hitting the floor. idk) instead of just SCREECH for no real reason

i guess that might be part of the child abuse thing tho. since we're supposed to be seeing this through the kids' eyes i guess the confusing nature of the jumpscares could be meant to signify the fact that they don't know why their mom is doing this, it's just loud and disorienting and scary

also i didn't get the "572 days" intertitle at the end. what's that about

overall it's just kind of a bummer of a film honestly. it's very well done both technically and artistically, but it's just kinda sad. personally i like horror that you can walk away from feeling like it all paid off, but this just didn't feel like it had that release for me

i'd give it a 6/10 overall, if you're dying to watch it just pirate it or wait till it comes out on shudder on feb 1.

[scarletred79]

The First Step (Sun x Moon)

I wouldn't say I was boring, not the extrovert the others hoped for me to be whenever they wanted to go somewhere outside of the Daycare, but I could be fun when I wanted to. The kids do like my company. Even though it was part of my programming to know how to take care of them, it was what the company built me for the children.

Us animatronics built our personalities and new knowledge by our surroundings. For example, I managed to be more confident about confrontation thanks to Moon. I am too kind and selfless toward those who don't deserve it, and it was my fear of going to Parts & Services preventing me from fighting back.

Recently, we were allowed to have our separate bodies by some wish from a shooting star. It felt odd since I kept forgetting how Moon wasn't technically inside my head anymore. We can still communicate from afar within our AI without anyone noticing.

I could also give Moon all the hugs I wanted on the bright side. It made me happy knowing I could fully comfort him at challenging times, and he's been there for me enough.

And so I sat there, observing him from the cushioned ground, at the bottom of one of the play structures.

The Daycare was closed due to the concert the glam rocks were throwing in the evening for the teenagers. And the catch was, they would all be singing a song of their choice, and not programmed into their system, something new that they had to learn from scratch.

My blue LED pupils followed the tall figure moving in the air with a cable attached. Moon was practicing handling the line by holding onto it by his feet. It wasn't essential, but he claimed that 'It was for any critical situation.'

No matter how fast he was, no matter how agile, he always made it look so majestic. A dance I wouldn't dare to join without caring about losing my rays.

But why not dance on the soft surface beneath my jingly shoes?

Just because I can't move in the air doesn't mean I don't have other options.

Slowly crawling out of the small space, I tip-toed my way towards the center of the Daycare—a soft tune playing from 'the classics, as the humans called it.

Moon and I found an interest in old music, with an array of trumpets, violins, etc.

I recognized this song as 'My Angel Put the Devil in Me.' It fit Moon so well, such a Bad Angel.

You lured me in with your cold grey eyes.

Your single smile, your bewitching lies

One and one and one is three

My bad, bad Angel, The Devil in me

I closed my eyes and let the music guide my tall form to the rhythm, not caring for the laughs I would get. It was all about the fun in dancing, after all.

Imitating the performers in the song's video, I swayed my arms, imagining the feathery fans in my hands.

My bad, bad Angel, you put the Devil in me.

You put the Devil in me.

Raising the music's volume, I sang along to the lyrics, the Moon in the sky forgotten. "You put the Devil in me!"

The song was short, nearing its end, as the exact phrase repeatedly playing—until I was suddenly swopped from my feet and held bridal style.

A squeak of surprise came out of my voicebox, to which Moon chuckled. "You're so cute when I take you by surprise."

"Weren't you practicing your super-duper critical emergency-inducing moves, Moony? Hmm?"

He kissed the tip of my nose playfully to fluster me. "I was until a bright shining star caught my eye."

He reached behind his back and held onto the line, bringing us down slowly.

"I'm sorry, Moon, I just wanted to dance," I looked down nervously, fumbling my hands together as my rays bent forward to cover my faceplate. "I wanted to be like you when you're dancing in the air like a comet."

He put me back on my feet, and some seconds passed before I heard the music rewind. The sound of trumpets filling the room, soft silicone hands prying my rays back to uncover me. Moon's gruff voice was cutting in close. "You dance just as beautiful, my shining star.." His hands moved down to hold mine and tilted his faceplate to eye me, "Will you take this dance, sunshine?"

I felt my interior self heating up, activating the cooling protocols immediately. "I.. I'd like that."

Placing my hand on his hip while holding his with the other, he did the same. We began waltzing at first, taking it slow.

I'm a country girl, I ain't seen a lot.

But you came along, and my heart went pop.

You took a little streetcar to my heart.

And an apple of love fell off my cart.

You looked at me, my heart began to pound.

You weren't the sort of guy I thought would stick around.

Hey, but it don't have to be eternally.

I sang along, whispering closely to him. "My bad, bad Angel put the Devil in me." Wrapping my arm around his waist to his surprise. "You put the Devil in me.."

He laughed at my flirtatious attitude as we swayed, his smile just as contagious.

"Your simple smile, your bewitching lies," I spun him with one hand and gently brought him back to me.

One and one and one is three.

Staring into his red LED eyes again, I whispered, "My bad, bad Angel, the Devil in me." Gently lifting his leg over my hip, the other hand gracing his lower back, I tilted him back with another whisper, "You put the Devil in me."

Moon wrapped his arms around my shoulders, bringing him up, and we slowed to sway side to side. His LED heart eyes are staring at me lovingly. "I like this side of you, Star."

The music felt more faded to our hearing receptors, nearing its end. I wrapped my arms around Moon's waist and pressed his temple against mine, "Anything for you, shooting star," I replied in a sultry tone before leaning in, pressing our lips together.

I kept our bodies pressed against each other, lowering my hands to his sides, and picked him up.

Despite my wanting to go further, I didn't want to rush it, and I wanted this to last.

Moon grasped the side of my faceplate and opened his mouth a little as an invitation. Gladly, I slowly let my tongue slip in, the hot tension growing by the second.

I draw gentle circles on his back to soothe both our anxieties. To test the waters, I moved my hand underneath his loose t-shirt and drew more circles against his smooth surface.

Moon broke the kiss with a gasp, gentle whirring leaving him. "Sun?"

I looked at him with a shit-eating grin, "Yeah?"

"... take your Angel to bed."

[yvesdot]

No Longer Canon Tag

Tagged by @ghost-town-story; thank you! Filling this out for THE ONE AND ONLY UNIVERSE OF KAY RAINIER because quite a bit has changed, and a lot is... no longer canon =^_^=. Reminder of the blurb:

Atlas, a he/him-using, dimension-traveling woman-loving-woman, is on his final job-- protecting the Rainier family from the people who would like to kill them. But nobody told him that they'd dress like it's the 1860s; or that his new employer's daughter, Kay Rainier, would be so... attractive. And frosty. Atlas needs this job to work out. So why is he so easily lured into bed with Kay? And why does it hurt to think of leaving?

(Book One ends with Atlas going home; Book Two opens with Atlas waking up in his dimension.)

I originally spelled Kay's name Cay. Not sure why now; possibly because her legal name is spelled with a C and it would have made 'more' sense for that reason. Kay is more gender-neutral, though, and felt like a realer name (Kay Thompson!) so I stuck with that. I still jump when I see the name "Cay" in early drafts.

Book One was going to start with Atlas going home, then rewinding all the way back to the beginning. No idea why I thought this one was a good idea.

Atlas had a really terrible tattoo-- he added little icons to it when interesting things happened to him. Looking back, the way I thought of it is not at all how tattoos work, and I'm happier with my idea now (that Atlas gets a sleeve tattoo in Book Two). A tattoo can be a big change in a person's life, and a Book Two is all about changing.

Patrons know Atlas immediately gets the hots for a new girl in his home world in Book Two. She was originally adopted because I wanted to have her be kind of detached from anything else, but this required far more backstory and character building and explanations of things, and one day I thought to myself, "oh, I wish I could [X]" and realized I could X, and so I killed the adoption idea and the lack of X with one stone. Sorry, spoilers.

Kay and Atlas find a necklace of Julia's in the attic. Because Kay wears it later, I decided to remove the letter standing for Julia's first name in it-- which wasn't an English J. Both reveals (language and name) still exist in the story, but now the necklace is simpler and makes more sense for Kay to wear, the way she initially wears her mother's cameo locket.

I don't know why I thought the necklace scene should come after the Out Alive chapter (for those who don't know: substantial harm injury pain and suffering) and before the Kay's Sleep Problems sequence, but I moved it to a place where it made sense. The reveal is important, and it affects Atlas, but Kay will be too rattled by it to handle the situation as properly as she usually does, and it will lead to total chaos. My favorite.

And, finally, this won't come up in either book, but for my own gratification I logick'd that if people can travel dimensions, then Kay can get pregnant if she wants to. We actually already have uterus transplants for cis women, so if Atlas has all the money in the world, why not buy his girlfriend a baby? Furthermore, why can't it be genetically related to him? Of course, the answer Atlas would give is that he does not want to get married or have children or undertake so much responsibility as to grow a plant, but ultimately Atlas proves all of his feelings to be circumstantial and open to discussion. Especially with Kay.

(Which is why it's sad to see him changing without her-- for so long all of his development has been about Kay Rainier, and now [in Book Two] it's not, or at least not directly. It's about her in the sense that it's about his idea of her, but his idea of her isn't who she is. She has no control over how he sees her. They spend so much time growing together, like two trees planted side by side, and then all of a sudden Atlas is flowering into all of the spaces that Kay used to take up. Or perhaps that space is taken by the derogatorily named mysterygf...)

I could write SO MUCH MORE about this, but I allotted a distinct amount of time to it and I must move on to editing Lend a Hand, Or a Knife (Patrons, get excited!). See you next tag ^__^

Tagging: @fluoresensitive (for On Sundays) @goose-books (for Duodecimal) @asablehart (for any of your stories I can make comparisons on ^__^) and anyone else who wants to do it!

ko-fi | Patreon | all writing | book

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 5: The Good

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Paring: Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Taglist: @foxypuppy @bakuhoetoedoroki

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

After basically spending the entire day at your house interrogating your parents Aizawa finally steps out of your house with his phone to his ear.

" Hey Mic you can finally come pick me now I'm still at the Y/n house hold" after saying that he holds his phone away from his face waiting for Mic to yell like always "YEAHHHHHHH YOU GOT IT SHO! I'LL BE THERE FASTER THAN ALLMIGHT CAN SAY IM AM HERE".

"Just stop yelling, and hurry up" Aizawa hangs up the phone and looks across the street to sees Shinsou standing on the sidewalk looking down.

(" What did you stupid kids do now...")The teacher thinks to himself.

Instead of doing literally anything else to get Hitoshi's attention like calling out his name or you know crossing the street to talk to him.

Aizawa being Aizawa throws his cloth across the street and miraculously wraps around Shinsou pulling him to the ground.

"OW! What the-! I-isnt this Sensei's binding..CLOTH!?"

Aizawa pulls on his scarf slowly pulling Hitoshi to his side of the street pretty much reeling him in like a fish.

" WHAT THE HELL AIZAWA!"

"Oh hey looks like I got your attention"

"THIS HOW YOU GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION?!"

" I saw you where moping and I didn't wanna ruin your teenager sad mood"

A car starts to drive up the street really really fast TO FAST "AIZAWA IF YOU DON'T REEL ME IN FASTER IM GONNA DIE!".

" Then STOP SQUIRMING!"

Aizawa yanks on his cloth pulling Hitoshi out of the street before the car can hit, but he gets send straight into a tree.

" Oops... I must've miscalculated how hard to pull you"

Hitoshi rubbing his head quietly remarks "Nooooo you think"

Then in quick succession Aizawa ties Shinsou up to the tree he crashed into.

" AIZAWA SERIOUSLY WHAT'S WRONG WIT-"

"Hitoshi I don't wanna hear you whine tell me what's wrong and what happened"

"I-....I left y/n on our date"

Aizawa leans in Shinsou face "A DATE?!"

"Yeah it was a date and we brought Bakugou along"

Aizawa overreacts and yells "BAKUGOU!?! Don't tell you left because he was taking your spotlight! I SWEAR YOU RECKLESS KIDS AND YOUR TEEN DRAMA!".

"No it wasn't nothing like that! I left because I just couldn't handle anymore secrets".

" Secrets?.....ah so she told you huh"

Hitoshi looks up at his teacher his eyes are dead like how the once beautiful night sky turned into a cloudy disaster of pouring rain.

"She said....I'll be the reason for her death... is that true?"

HONK !

HONK !

HONK!

" HEYYYYYYY SHOOOO!!!!" Present Mic pulls up in his car rapidly honking the horn. Aizawa turns around and snaps at the ridiculously LOUD pro hero "HIZASHI SHUT UP!"

He gets out the and tip toes slowly towards Aizawa and whispers " Sorry Eraser I'll be quiet form now on I promise....WHY IS SHINSOU ALL TIED UP!"

" He was just telling me something important before you interrupted".

Shinsou starts to laugh at himself " It's HaHa! So funny! To think I could be a hero HA! with a quirk like this I'm better off being just a twisted monster....just another murder in society".

Mic places his hand on Shinsou's shoulder " Hey come on cheer up don't think like that". Eraser Head steps on Shinsou's face," So you're giving up just like that you look pathetic".

" Sho! Get your foot out of his face!"

"Giving up isn't ever a answer! Why are acting like she's dead now right now you should be with her at her side cause every second with her matters every second is a gift".

He moves his foot from Shinsou's face.

"You understand right"

Shinsou stands up, as Present Mic unties him "Yes I understand but what are we gonna do?"

He picks up the cloth giving it to his superior "Tomorrow after school you and Y/n are to come to the teachers lounge I have a crazy idea.

-The next day-

You wake up in your bed and your body feels, as sore than ever before "Ughhh Come on it's nothing but a little sting just get up"

"Maybe your body won't let you"

" Oh yes it will you little fur ball watch this!"

You jump out of your bed stretching "Ha! See my body only listen to me so suck it Yokai!.

You look down at your legs to see that same mist from the hospital room sworn around them then suddenly they begin to shake.

"What did you do"

" Oh nothing just making your legs give up on you it's only a matter of time before they give up on you completely"

"YOU WHAT!"

You throw a pillow at Yokai put it phases right through him "Have fun walking to school you fool".

.

.

.

You try your best to go through out you day ignoring the pain in your legs. For the whole day you do Hitoshi until after school.

Shinsou walks up to your desk knocking on it .

" Hey Cat"

"Hm? HITOSHI?! Where have you bee all day?"

"Teachers lounge with Present Mic we were watching Eri you wanna come with?"

You stand up pushing your chair in "Yeah I can finally meet Eri I know Izuku been talking about her a lot".

You and Hitoshi walk to the teachers lounge the both of you trying not make things awkward after what happened last night.

" So how was the date with Katsuki?"

"It was actually pretty fun but...I really wish you were there....HITOSHI IM REALLY SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING I SAID!"

Hitoshi puts his hands in his pockets "You're not the only one who should be apologizing... I didn't mean to leave like that or snap at you like that! I promise it will never happen again!".

The both of you finally reach the teachers lounge but before you go in Shinsou puts his arms around you "So....are we cool?"

You kiss Hitoshi on his big forehead "Yeah we're cool".

The door flies open " See Mic I told Hitoshi was at the door....oh" Eri looks up at the both of you " Hitoshi I thought you said you were getting a friend not your girlfriend".

Shinsou blushes really hard " ERI WHO EVEN TAUGHT YOU THAT! D-DONT GO AROUND SAY THINGS LIKE THAT"

" But Lemillion said that about Deku when he brought his girlfriend the balloon girl "

"DEKU DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND DON'T CALL URARAKA A BALLOON!"

You cover your face hiding your embarrassment wanting to die "Ughhhhh......".

Aizawa walks into the room shoving you and and Shinsou into the room .

"Out of the way we have work to do".

" We have work to do?"

Aizawa crouches down rubbing Eri's head "Yes we do but it's mostly for you Y/n We wanna use Eri's quirk on you"

.

.

.

" What..."

"Eri's quirk let's her rewind a person's body back to a previous state so what if we rewind your body to the point where your quirk didn't manifest"

"OK THAT'S GREAT NEWS LETS GO IT RIGHT NOW LIKE RIGHT RIGHT NOW" You say jumping up and down.

Aizawa hits on the head "Listen kid...alot of things can happen moving forward"

"One Eri rewimds your body and everything is fine for a while"

"Two Eri rewinds your body and you turn into nothing but dust"

"Or three you declined the offer completely".

Why were there even three options when it was already clear what your decision would be. "I'll take the risk".

" DON'T YOU DARE!"

Both you and the cat exchange glances "YOU FOOL I'LL JUST COME BACK YOU KNOW THIS RIGHT! AND WHEN I DO I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!"

You walk towards Eri reaching your hand out to touch her horn

"You already do Yokai"

.

.

.

.

With your days rewind and your life no longer in jeopardy maybe things can finally go your way. But as the the good ends eventually comes the bad.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"NO! NO! NO! I WON'T GO AWAY THAT EASILY!"

As Eri's powers shocks your body causing you intense pain Yokai's body slowly faded "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM!?! I AM WHAT WILL SEND YOU TO YOUR GRAVE! THE GRIM REAPER! NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THEIR DEATHS!"

You see Yokai's hands consume your body " H-HITOSHI!" you scream until there's nothing but black.

Aizawa uses his quirk on Eri stopping her from killing you, "Y/N!?! Hey are you ok!"

Hitoshi holds you up, as started to lean on him.

......

You stand up straight looking at everyone in the room smiling, as you say.

"Never better Hitoshi...."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💜

Next Chapter...The Bad....

[iamcinema]

IAC Reviews #19: Wishbone (2000)

Hey, is anyone still alive out there? I hope so.

Coming off of last year was a disaster, and well, we didn't enter 2021 on the highest of notes. I guess you could say I've been burned out and not having a ton of motivation to do a lot, even with how much I've been grinding on Letterboxd over the past few months. I think I'm ready to come back, and since there's a storm is brewing outside, let's make today a movie night...and boy, do I have a treat for you.

I think I've made it kind of apparent that I have a weakness for terrible, low-budget, trash fires. There's something oddly charming about them where they always find a way to lure me in, and given the scene on Letterboxd, there's a bunch of SOV masochists out there waiting to get their next fix. While digging around for material to cross off my lists on titles to find and add, I was reminded of a terrible, low-budget film that was shot in my hometown over 20 years ago. I'm full of fear for what's to come, and you should be too.

________________________________________

Wishbone is a 2000 horror film directed by Timothy Gaer and co-created by Michael Fasciana, centering on a woman named Laurie who receives an unusual artifact from her eccentric aunt she acquired from a pawn dealer that causes those around her to disappear when they make wishes on it. Hmm, seems simple enough. Let's what we're in for, and I'm absolutely not ready because the IMDb page says this shit is over two hours long, despite a version on Youtube having it just a bit over 90 minutes. Let us pray.

Wishbone in One Gif:

This acting is might be the death of me, but I'm not sure what's going to be the catalyst that causes me to fall down the stairs and break my neck: the sound quality, the weird editing, or the music...oh, god what the fuck is the music doing? So much noise, noise noise!

Okay, so let's dig into this before I take too long of a break and I don't come back to this. I've already had to pause the movie a few times to catch my breath or just rewind and go back because there's a good amount that I keep missing because, apparently, the star of the film is the score and not Laurie. This is so, so slow. I've seen a lot of long horror movies, but at least with those, it feels like things are happening. Even Blood Lake had filler that did something to some degree, and with that, it was consistently bad. This movie doesn't even know what it wants to do. So, as a disclaimer, there's a good chance I'm probably missing some key details that I didn't hear because it seems that characterization isn't important if the music insists on talking over everyone.

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So, to date, this might be one of the worst horror movies (and movies in general) that I've ever seen and it might be one of the slowest things in the entire megaverse. This is over 90 minutes of, somehow, nothing and something happening simultaneously - if that makes any sense.

This takes its sweet ass time moving along and there's so little pay-off. The majority of the characters are either nameless or we aren't introduced to them in a way that matters enough for us to care about them. It's kind of like with Violent Shit and other low-budget slasher films where the majority of the characters serve no purpose but to be disposable. Next to the two main leads, Laurie and Joe, and maybe a few others, everyone is just forgettable and even then I couldn't honestly tell you anyone's name if it was explicitly brought up. IMDb isn't helpful either, and at this point it just makes me care even less. I'm not sure if my patience has been tested too much with this, but it's kind of sad that I'm more invested in seeing what the background characters are doing than Laurie and Joe - even though I can't really hear what the hell they're saying.

Yeah, I really can't move on without talking about the sound and the music. Why is it always the audio with these movies? This has an estimated budget of $100,000, or $154,779.43 today in August 2021. How do you have the ability to somehow not make this look like a potato for the most part, well for the day shots that is, but you don't have it in you to get a good mic and someone who knows how to mix and edit correctly? I would sort of understand if you spent the majority of the money on talent to cut corners, but this is just ridiculous. Did they use the cameras' built-in mics to catch the audio here?

I feel like I need to interrupt the movie constantly to tell them to speak up because if I turn up the volume, I'm just getting bombarded with this really weird soundtrack that doesn't fit. I shit you not, during one of the kill scenes, the music booming over it sounds like it was ripped from Kevin MacLeod's "lounge" library and then the reverse happens where ominous music is playing over a more touching scene - and that's not even a dig at Kevin as an artist. That's just how inappropriate and unfitting this editing is. The weird fucking thing about this specific kill scene is that it sounds like the audio is stacked, so there are two different instrumental tracks going on.

How do you fuck something as basic as tension up like that? The audio choices are so painfully inconsistent and it doesn't know what it wants to do. There are moments where you can hear the dialogue just fine, but then the music comes in out of nowhere to segway us into the next scene and it starts to muffle things out. If it isn't that, then the dialogue is just so soft that you'd think there was a pillow on the mic or we're hearing them from the opposite side of a sound-dampened room.

This is what I meant earlier when I said I apologize in advance if I miss anything crucial because I can't make out half of these conversations. So, I'm having to keep going back if I care enough or just having to pause and take breaks because there's only so much I can handle. This means that there's a good amount I'll blank on because I have to keep going back because I can't remember the majority of these no-named characters. Who the fuck are you people? Why am I supposed to care?

If I'm understanding the non-existent rules of the wishbone, you're connected to whoever dies in some way. So, why is any of this relevant to what's going on? If it's random, then it's another reason for me not to care just because some frat kids made a wish at some point. Again, who the hell are you and why am I supposed to lament over them? Why is there so much useless filler here? Did I mention that this is over 90 minutes long and there are *three* fucking party scenes? Party scenes are to Wishbone as ten-minute-long jetskiing and beer game scenes are to Blood Lake.

Oh, speaking of other shit that's annoying. Let's talk about general editing because the sound isn't the only thing that's a mess here.

I swear that almost every single scene in this ends with a fade-out/fade-in shot. Only one or two scenes come to mind where this doesn't happen, and the first time it did I thought my browser was freezing because it abruptly cut to black and then smash cuts to a party scene. I've never, ever seen a movie that abused this that much before and it's on par with something I would have seen made by a bunch of high school kids. So, when we have a moment where this doesn't happen and it plays out normally, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I'm sure this movie's run time could have been shaved down by at least a minute or two if this wasn't a problem, along with all the useless close-up shots that serve nothing to the plot.

It's such a waste of time. I'm so fucking tired. How was this movie's budget $100k? Did they spend most of it on renting the Scranton Police Department for a few shots or did it go towards their impromptu trip to Party City? I'm so tired and I don't care anymore.

Do you want to know what the real kicker is? With just barely twenty minutes left, the whole lore about the monkey's wishbone paw comes back and that's when Laurie and her friend Karen think something is weird. Isn't this whole realization trope that happens within the first or second act, not now with your Great Value brand version of the Dream Warriors?

Also, it's not specified how much time has gone by since the start, but it has to have been at least a week or two. It's incredibly weird how they paint the main characters and the unnamed background ones as such good friends that they don't think it's weird how almost all of them have disappeared - especially one girl who doesn't seem off-put that her boyfriend (or ex) disappeared after getting into an argument at one of the parties and none of his friends could reach him either at his own house.

The final showdown is an utter pain in the ass to get through because the conflict ends as abruptly as it starts and it's so unsatisfying. We get to see the face of our villain, I guess, and then more or less cut to our leads holding hands down the street set to the same looping lounge music we've been dealing with for over 90 damn minutes. Is everyone else who went with them dead? Did they live? Who cares! That's one thing the movie and I can agree on since we never see them again. We end on a shitty cliffhanger that's supposed to prepare us for a sequel, which thankfully never happened.

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And that was Wishbone. Holy fucking shit, I've never been so thankful for a movie to be over in my life. It's 11:07 PM as of tinkering with some minor revisions and I've been in purgatory with this for over five hours, and yet, it feels like an entire lifetime has gone by.

I've raved about how bad Blood Lake was with its incredibly bad pacing, but this is next level awful and a testament to bad filmmaking if I've ever seen it. I expect a lot of the things I complained about from super amateur filmmakers who are shooting on an actual shoestring budget, not people who had that much money to fuck around with. How did they have that kind of a budget, and the most they can give us is bad audio, Windows Movie Maker levels of basic editing, three wrap parties, and a few crumbs of gore that we could see?

This was physically painful to see and I'm in much worse shape having endured it than I would have been if I sat through something liked Boardinghouse, and that has a two-and-a-half-hour-long version tied to it. This is just a marvel and I mean that in a so-bad-it's-bad way, not like how SOV enthusiasts who love this stuff pine over. If I had to give one thing going for it, one single granule of gold that I enjoyed from this, it's the limited shots we get of the area so I could make a game out of seeing what local spots I recognized. If playing I Spy is the only way for someone to endure your movie, then I don't know what else to say.

Wishbone is a hot mess where shit's happening, but also nothing is happening at the same time. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. In fact, I wish this movie never existed or would die in the ether and never return to our mortal realm ever again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a smoke and hope I don't get run over by a hearse tomorrow.

RATING: 0.5/10