#i don't have any logical explanation to give you i'm just feral okay? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 11 days ago

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Protector | Water Borne

Protector is so good and if it's not too much trouble could I ask for another chapter with Virgil's first kiss to one or more of The Five? Pretty please? (It's okay if you don't want to - no pressure!) – twoalpacas

Could you write some Roman angst that takes place in a merperson au? Whether Roman is a merperson or a human who meets merpeople would be up to you. – monkeythefander

Read on Ao3 Protector Masterlist

Warnings: ptsd, implied/reference drowning/brainwashing

Pairings: dlampr

Word Count: 5043

Virgil doesn't even give himself the time to sigh when his well explodes and Remus scrambles out of it, dripping wet and covered in something he's not going to try to name. Instead, he makes himself move his hand away from his dagger and stand up.

"What's happened?"

"Come with me," Remus barks, grabbing his wrist—

"You're coming with us," the guard snarls, ale heavy on his breath outweighing the stench of blood, "you'll be dealt with the way all traitors are—"

Virgil's hand creeps back toward the dagger and he sets his jaw. "Remus. Let go of me."

"What the fuck are you doing? We have to go, now!"

"Remus."

Everything in him screams to get out of this situation, diffuse, excuse, find some way to leave the angry magic user without making things any worse, but this is Remus. Remus, who after realizing that maybe grabbing his wrist wasn't the best idea in the world—which, you think?—stops and glares at Virgil.

"We have to go," he says again through gritted teeth, "come on."

It's like parenting a child, Virgil realizes with no small amount of hysteria, forcing himself to take a deep breath and let his arm go slack in Remus's grip. "Remus. Explain to me what's going on."

Remus's jaw works and he squeezes Virgil's wrist tighter. "Roman needs help. You need to help him."

"What's happened to Roman?"

"Didn't you hear me? He needs help!"

"I understand that Roman needs help, but if you tell me what sort of help he needs, then I can be better prepared to offer that sort of help."

Careful, his instincts warn, don't agree to anything yet. But he hasn't. He's just offered up the logical explanation that being more informed begets more productive assistance. Only then does he realize that Remus's breathing is still way too heavy and his eyes are so wide he can see the whites all the way around.

"Remus," he says, quieter now, "you made it to me. I'm here, I'm listening. It would be helpful if you explained to me what's going on with Roman."

Remus stares at him for a long moment before the mania finally begins to fade from his gaze. He takes another shuddering breath and his grip on Virgil's wrist loosens. "Someone fucked up a transformation spell. Ro got hit by it. He needs—he needs help."

A bolt of something cold races down Virgil's spine. He's survived this long by being wary enough not to get in between the fights of magic users. He's not about to let himself just get willingly dragged into one, but he's not sure how he can safely refuse Remus when he's just about feral and still holding onto Virgil.

"I'm not sure I'm the best source of help for a magical issue," he says as carefully as he can, "I don't know enough about spells or how to fix them—"

"That's not what I want you for!" Remus stamps his foot—it really is like parenting—"I want you to help Roman!"

"I don't understand."

Remus bears his teeth and for a moment, Virgil worries that the dagger at his side might be the last thing he ever holds in his own two hands, but then the man just deflates. He's almost rushing to get his arms under Remus's shoulders, quickly redirecting his collapse onto the nearby stool instead of the freshly-planted flowers. He squats down, letting Remus keep a hold of him, angling himself so he can see his face.

"Hey," he say softly, "hey, buddy, talk to me. What's going on? What does Roman need help with?"

Remus's lip wobbles. "He's so scared, Virgil. He's scared!"

"What's scaring him?"

"We need to fix it. We don't—we can't—we have to go and he can't do anything and he—you have to help him."

Virgil's chest clenches. He's not any more inclined to get in the middle of a fight between magic users than he was a few minutes ago, but he is more upset that Remus is so visibly torn up over it. He forces himself to stay aware for just a little longer.

"Is Roman physically hurt? Does he need me to patch him up the way I helped Janus?"

Remus shakes his head.

"Is there a mental element to the spell that's affecting his perception or emotions?"

"Sort of."

"Okay. Are you expecting me to be a part of magically resolving the process, or is my role something non-magical?"

Remus's brow wrinkles. "Why would I come to you if I needed someone else to cast magic for me?"

"Well, that's why I'm confused, buddy."

He shakes his head, another shower of droplets hitting Virgil's shoulders. "Roman needs help. He doesn't need more magic."

"Let me see if I understand, then: Roman got hit by a spell that went wrong. He's scared. You want me to help—like, keep him calm or be less scared while you figure out how to magically fix things?"

"Yes," Remus says, a touch of impatience back in his tone, "I thought that was obvious."

"Just wanted to make it explicit," Virgil mutters, scowling when Remus's brows pump up and down suggestively, "good to see you're fine enough to do that."

"Oh, I'll show you what I'm fine enough for." He giggles when Virgil rolls his eyes, sobering a moment later. "I don't—I don't know what to offer as payment. I'm not—Lolo normally does that."

"We could do what we did last time," Virgil's offering before he realizes what he's saying, "you could offer me something in collateral before the actual payment itself is agreed upon."

"I don't have a yathrylx."

"What else do you have to offer?"

Remus's mouth twitches and works back and forth a few times before he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small stone. He holds it out insistently and Virgil hesitantly extends his hand. It drops into his waiting palm.

"I would like to know what this is."

"It's a star-diamond calyx." Virgil just raises his eyebrow. "It's a really powerful magical ingredient, okay? It's used in resurrection spells."

"…Remus, you're carrying an ingredient for a resurrection spell."

"We didn't know if Ro was gonna make it," Remus says, his voice choking up again, "we—we needed to be prepared."

"But Roman is stable now."

"Yeah. He's—he's okay for now. He's just really scared, Virgil, we can't—we can't leave him alone but the rest of us have to go and—" he sniffles— "and I can't just leave him."

Something foreign settles in his gut, then, at the realization that Remus—and by extension, the others—trust him enough to be there, to help, to protect them. They're fucking magic users, they're ten times deadlier than he is at his best at their worst, and still they trust him to do this.

"I will take the star-diamond calyx as collateral for keeping Roman calm," he makes himself say, "until adequate payment is decided."

"Can we go now?"

"I will gather my things."

***

His second trip through a portal is no more impressive than his first, but the arrival destination is…enough to make him pause.

He's no stranger to wild and fantastical places. His way of life practically necessitates that he ventures to half a dozen far-flung and perilous places every single year. And yet, sometimes even he has to take a second just to breathe in the scenery.

Remus's portal brings them to the very edge of a tall sloping cave, crystalline walls leading up, up, up to a bright light source in the middle of the ceiling. The more he looks at it, the more it shifts, facets of complex gemstones sending small motes of light scattering down the walls to reflect off the clear surface of the pool at the edges of the cliffs. Small flowering bushes and trees grow along the edges of the water. Tiny birds and other creatures flit about in the spaces between the blooms, gathering or pollinating or something—most of them look like the harmless varieties that are common close to the edges of the Draymack River, but he'll double check. A soft purple mist rolls through the upper air, the light exposing glittering particles as it passes through.

"Oh, you found him," he hears, and he turns to see the others hurrying toward them from the shoreline. Patton rushes up first, almost barreling into him before skidding to a stop. "Did Remus explain everything?"

He summarizes, watching their faces to see if Remus left out anything especially pertinent, but all he sees is grim resignation and worry. "I would like to know if there's anything else important I'm missing before you leave, as well as the dangers posed to me in this location."

"There isn't anything here that's going to hurt you." Janus gestures to the wildlife. "The pixies and mephits are harmless and as long as you don't destroy any of the flowers, they'll ignore you completely."

"And the air?"

"Spell mist."

Ah. That would explain why they brought Roman here; the inherent abjurative nature of the cavern would dampen any lingering magic and restrict the spell to its current form without risk of evolution.

Shit, Bonnie really has been rubbing off on me. Though he makes a mental note to send her and the Aspen Witch some form of token.

"Roman's in the water," Logan says, interrupting his train of thought, "the spell didn't manage to transform him completely, but in its halfway state he's still more comfortable breathing water than air. And the good news is he didn't get any more of the bespelling gifts so you'll be—"

"The what?"

Logan pauses, looking at him in confusion, before he turns to glare at Remus. Remus shrugs, looking as unrepentant as ever—Virgil doesn't know how he feels about that fact that it just makes him feel fond—before Logan sighs.

"The transformation spell's made Roman turn into part mer."

Ah.

Well.

This does complicate things and is definitely something Remus should have told him. Would he have refused outright? Probably not—and that's something he's going to worry about later, thank you very much—but he would've brought way more precautions if he'd known the scared and upset magic user he's supposed to be keeping calm is part mer.

"You said he didn't get any more bespelling gifts?"

"No. He's still—he's still got his magic, so he's capable of it, but he'll need to—it's not an innate instinct the way it is for most full mers." Patton glances over his shoulder as soft splashing sounds come from the water. "And it's still Roman, so he's gonna recognize you."

Yeah, I'm not sure if that's gonna work in my favor or not. "How long do you anticipate being gone for?"

"A few hours. Not more. But we need all of us to get the right ingredients and we can't leave Roman alone for that long. There's a risk his emotions could trigger his own magic and it would mix with the spell and—"

He holds up a hand. He doesn't need to know about the details. "I understand."

"We can negotiate payment when Roman is back to normal," Logan says with an earnestness that he can't just write off, "we give you our word."

What is the world coming to, where Virgil's willing to take the word of a magic user when he's about to do something as dangerous as this? But it's the world he's in, and he nods and confirms the details before Remus gives his shoulder a tight squeeze.

"I know I don't need to say this," he says, voice oddly calm, "but don't hurt Roman."

"I will do my best not to cause Roman physical harm."

"No." Remus fixes him with a look. "You won't hurt Roman."

His throat runs dry, but the others are looking at him, and he can't do anything else but nod. Remus looks at him for a moment longer before his fingers twitch and he wraps his arms tightly around him in a fierce hug. Virgil tenses and Remus doesn't hold on for long.

"We'll be back," Janus says, loud enough to be heard over the splashing, and then there's a flash of light as another portal opens.

Virgil takes a deep breath and heads down toward the water.

Sure enough, there in the shallows, is a mer. He makes himself stop and confirm that if—if—Roman tries to pull him in, he has ways of getting out of it that won't cause Roman any permanent damage. Then he carefully crouches near the edge of the water and clears his throat.

"Roman?"

The water ripples. Slowly, the mer's head—Roman's head, and isn't that fucking weird, that he can still tell it's Roman—lifts up out of the water just enough for Virgil to see his eyes. They're blown wide, inhumanly black, the sclera reflecting the lights as though they were pools of their own—

He snaps himself back. Bespelling gifts. He's out of practice but not that much.

"Hey, buddy," he says, careful to keep his voice as neutral as possible, "I heard about what happened."

The feathery fins near Roman's ears flatten against the side of his head, water rippling around them. A long streak of red thrashes beneath the surface, his tail, most likely, and there's another low noise of rocks sliding against each other before Roman looks up at him again.

"Yeah. Sounds like it wasn't fun." Shit, what the fuck am I supposed to talk about. "Good news is the others seem to know exactly what to do, so—what?"

Roman glares at him and splashes again. He jabs a finger toward the shore.

"No, they're not here right now, they left to go somewhere." Roman nods. "Which means…?"

Roman rolls his eyes and his tail thrashes again. Virgil wracks his brain for something that might be close to whatever the hell Roman's trying to get him to understand. Okay, so the thing that he said that wasn't right was that they knew exactly what to do, so…

"You don't think they know what they're going to do?"

Roman nods, settling a little bit as the water stops frothing. His fins ripple slightly as the spines along his crest flatten in a way that seems almost petulant.

"Why not?" Roman gestures toward the shore again. "Because they're not here? But wouldn't they have to leave anyway if they knew what they were doing, to get whatever they needed to…"

He trails off as his eyes widen. Then he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"And they didn't say where that was or what they were getting, which means they probably don't know specifics enough to do that."

Roman's tail swishes. Virgil has the sudden urge to reach down and splash a bit of water back at him, but quickly decides that no, he's not about to do that, because that's a terrifically stupid idea, even by his standards. He settles for easing further down onto the shore. Something twitches in his chest as he takes in how much Roman is simultaneously trying to push himself closer and hold himself away.

"They left you very quickly," he says, trying his best to make the observation gentle.

Roman makes a low clicking trill, the water nearest his throat vibrating slightly with it. He picks up a rock and clutches it tightly in his claws.

"That's a cool rock." Roman holds it up for him to see. "Yeah, bud, it's cool. Oh—oh, you're giving it to me?"

Roman holds it out insistently. Virgil carefully frees a handkerchief and lays it over the palm of his hand, slowly moving to meet him. His gut reminds him that letting his hand get close to a mer is not the best thing to do, his brain cautions him to flip his hand so Roman would grab the handkerchief first if he does try to pull him in, and his heart knows that this is Roman.

And he's not going to think about that last one too much for right now.

"It's a really cool rock," he says again, cradling it in the handkerchief, "thank you for giving it to me."

Roman's tail happily smacks the water, sending up a shower of glistening droplets. Virgil runs his thumb over the edge of the rock, feeling the rough texture.

"…Roman?" The mer chirps. "Do you know why they left so quickly?"

Roman's shoulders slump and his fins flutter as he nods. He holds a hand over his chest, rubbing in slow circles, gesturing between himself and Virgil. Then he points to the shore and makes a fist, miming an explosion.

"You—they left because they didn't want the magic affecting you to get worse?" Roman nods. "Because…their magic would make it worse?"

He shakes his head. He puts his head under the water and large bubbles appear.

"Uh—"

He rolls his eyes and comes back up, miming taking an exaggerated breath while pointing to Virgil.

"They want me to help keep you calm, yeah. Oh—are you saying they left because them trying to figure things out here would stress you out more?" Roman gives a happy little trill and spins around in the water. Virgil laughs in surprise, shaking his head at Roman's child-like glee. "Never thought you'd be so happy about not being stressed."

Roman stops then and gives him a look that makes him burst out laughing.

"Okay, okay, point taken." He holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm happy I'm not making you more stressed."

That seems to do the trick. Roman relaxes back into the water, tail moving lazily back and forth. Virgil settles into a quiet pause, the gentle buzz of activity from the nearby bushes filling the air with soft chirpings and the fluttering of miniature wings. He finds himself tracing Roman's features, seeing where the smooth scales meet the soaked brown hair still mostly covering his head. Parts of him are red and angry, nothing like the smooth meeting of Janus's scales with the unblemished skin. His mouth thins. He hadn't even given a thought to how painful this might be for Roman.

Roman trills in question and he realizes he's reaching out again. He should stop. He should sit back. But this is Roman, and Roman is hurting, and so he swallows and keeps reaching.

Roman leans up out of the water, his hands down in the silt, letting Virgil brush his fingers gently over a patch of rough and reddened skin. Roman's breathing hitches slightly. He does it again, trying to move his hair away from it, and Roman lets out a small keen. He keeps going, warm fingers stroking back and forth over the raw skin, just trying to keep everything soft, slow, gentle and tender.

He should start keeping a tally of how many things he does that he swore he'd never be foolish enough to do, shouldn't he?

Roman, for the most part, seems to be falling into a light doze under his ministrations. His head dips lower and lower, until it's pillowed in the waves lapping gently along the silt. Virgil shifts to carding his fingers through his hair, avoiding the base of the spines as he goes. Every so often, a soft clicking pattern comes from his throat, fins fluttering as he does.

"Hey," Virgil says softly after a good deal of time has passed, "I dunno if it's a good idea for you to fall asleep out here, buddy."

Roman snuffles but begins to push himself up. He's much closer now. He can almost see himself in the dark sclera. Roman looks at him for a moment longer before flipping around and diving into the water.

Virgil blinks. That was…sudden. Did he cross some invisible line? His expertise with mers typically comes in the form of hey let's not fucking mess with that, not…whatever affection he was just showing Roman. His expertise also doesn't typically come with openly showing affection to any magic user, but that ship's sailed a long, long time ago, he's just now realizing, and he's not sure what he's going to—

Oh.

Roman's back.

Roman bursts from the water with a shower of sparkling droplets, his hands cupping something to his chest. There are bright spots of color on his cheeks, his spines standing out sharply from his head. Virgil frowns, going to shift back to a crouch when Roman opens his hands.

His breath catches.

He might actually have stopped breathing. He's not sure.

What he is sure of is that Roman is holding a tessarae cluster.

Virgil prides himself on knowing just enough about magic to know what not to do and what to stay the fuck away from. But when you do what he does for long enough, certainly as long as he has, you pick a few things up. Like what ingredients for spells are the most common, which ones are the most expensive, and which ones have nearly limitless uses if someone has the proper magic. You also learn about things that even magic users covet—those tend to be the ones he stays the fuck away from, since getting in the middle of magic turf wars is not high on his list of things he wants to do.

So, when Roman offers him something that he's seen entire swaths of magic users go full scorched-earth over, he thinks he can be forgiven for taking a second to just go what the actual fuck?

He should leave. He should figure out the politest way to get the fuck out of this situation. He should do a lot of things right now.

He shouldn't reach forward to cup his hands under Roman's, nor should he look up like he can't believe this is happening right now. He shouldn't be thinking of how much it means that Roman is offering this to him, not when it's so priceless to anyone but him, and not the fact that this might explain why exactly the Five are so powerful.

And he definitely shouldn't be distracted enough to be caught off-guard by a crack of the portal reopening.

He whirls around, hand on his dagger, only belatedly realizing that not only is it the rest of the Five coming toward him, he's put his back to a mer in the water. But he does realize them, and so he relaxes, turns back, and tries to smile at Roman, say it's alright, the rest of them are back and they can fix this, but there's a quiet hurt in Roman's expression that robs him of any words.

"Roro! We got it!" Remus's skidding halt throws up a lot of silt the makes Roman wince. "We'll have you back to normal in no time!"

"Thank you for being here," Logan says quietly as the rest of them swarm the beach, Roman quickly holding the tessarae cluster to his chest again, "I know we should discuss payment, but if you'd be willing to wait a little longer while we attempt to—"

"Yeah," he says gruffly, "help Roman first."

Logan blinks. "A-alright. It's, well, it's not quite safe for you to be here while we do this, so could we—"

Virgil makes eye contact with Roman one more time, trying to make him understand that any offense he may have just caused wasn't his intention, he swears, but Roman's eyes are too busy darting around at the others and he swallows the lump in his throat. "Yeah. I'll wait for discussion of payment and said payment in exchange for keeping Roman calm at my home."

"Thank you again, Virgil," Logan says as he walks him back to the portal, "really."

Virgil just nods and steps through.

***

"Virgil?"

Virgil stands, dusting off his knees as Roman approaches the edge of his garden. "Hey. You're looking more as I expected."

Roman laughs, but he glances down, a light pink dusting his cheeks. "Yeah, well, perhaps I've learned my lesson about…certain things."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, no, I know, I just…" He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That wasn't how I intended that to go."

Virgil frowns, stashing the trowel in its place on his belt and walking closer. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I figured that you'd be there to, you know, keep an eye on me, stop me from hurting myself, but—" he huffs— "I think I underestimated how much the spell would affect my instincts."

"How so?"

Roman eyes him warily, eyes darting to the door. "Could we do this inside? I don't—having a conversation out here—"

Virgil hesitates. He doesn't truly have an issue with inviting Roman into his home, but there is an outstanding issue of payment that has him erring on the side of caution. "I would like to discuss payment, if possible, before a conversation about instincts."

Roman's shoulders tense a little bit, but he nods. "The two aren't unrelated but…yes, yeah, we can do this first."

He reaches toward a satchel tucked over his shoulder. Virgil makes sure his gloves are securely fastened as he walks closer.

"They talked me out of offering the cluster," Roman mumbles as he pulls out a small pouch, "which I can explain inside, but this is—these are ardenti charms. Protective charms that will create temporary auras around you in unfamiliar places that should grant you some level of understanding about where you are."

"Elemental? Social?"

"Elemental, mostly. You'll gain any knowledge about the geography, terrain, that sort of thing."

"What cost?"

"What? No, Virgil, this is—this is your payment—"

"What cost would it be to me to wear them?"

"Oh. Uh, I'm not sure. For magic users, it's typically not much of anything, it just sort of…blends in with the other magic we might have going, but Logan thinks that it wouldn't be anything more than wearing a basic protection charm." Virgil raises an eyebrow. "Just because it's simultaneously drawing on your magic at the same time, and since you don't have any, then it's just using the small amount in the charm already."

"I see." He holds his hand out and accepts the pouch. "I accept the pouch of ardenti charms in exchange for keeping you calm."

Roman's cheeks flush. "Why do you have to say it like that?"

"Why do I have to explicitly state the terms of my contracts? You know better than that," he scolds lightly, chuckling when Roman glares at him and raising his hands. "I'm teasing,"

Roman pouts, only to frown when Virgil reaches for another pouch. "What are you doing?"

"Returning your collateral."

"Keep it."

"What? Why would I keep it? One, it's collateral, and two, I think you'd have better use for a resurrection spell ingredient than I will."

Roman chews on his lip, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Virgil's chest twists. He's never seen Roman look this unsure about anything—he's not sure he likes it. "Can we go inside now?"

Virgil nods, gesturing over his shoulder. Roman follows him up the steps into the cabin, lingering just over Virgil's shoulder as he takes off his gloves and places them in the basket near the door. He takes down two mugs and prepares a simple tea, settling them on the table as Roman sits uneasily.

"You're upset," he observes softly, "have I done something to offend you?"

"No, Virgil, you've been perfect."

He balks slightly at the words. A ghost of Roman's typical smirk touches the corners of his mouth before it fades again.

"I—so how much do you know about mers?"

"Not much."

"So you don't—you don't know what mating habits are for them."

"No," Virgil says slowly, and Roman nods, still not looking at him, "why?"

"Well, we—um—oh, for crying out loud, Virgil, we practically did them."

Pause. Stop. What?

"Offering to be a protector during a time of need. Expressing concern over one's school or communal family situation. Accepting gifts. Physical touch." Roman scrubs his hand over his face. "And then I decided to go and offer you a tessarae cluster."

Virgil swallows, sitting forward. "Roman, I'm not going to pretend I understand magic like this or mer instincts, but I—I'm not going to hold anything against you, okay? If that's what you're worried about."

Roman finally looks at him, something playing over his features before he slowly stands up. Virgil watches as he walks around the corner of the table, his hand on its edge, before he kneels down and looks up at him.

"Uh—"

"Please," Roman whispers, "don't freak out."

Which is a great thing to say in order to make Virgil freak out quite quickly, but then Roman's leaning up and closing his eyes and—

Soft lips meet his.

Oh.

It's a soft kiss, a terribly soft and chaste thing, and it's over before Virgil can fully realize what's happening, but then Roman is looking at him with a tender affection that makes his head grow fuzzy and the only thing he can think of it—

"You overheard Bonnie and the Aspen Witch," he murmurs, "didn't you?"

"Perhaps. Though I would never attempt to make this a form of payment," Roman murmurs back, "I'd run up a debt to you so great I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"Is that right?"

"If you'd let me, yes, I would kiss you until you could afford any favor from me, or the rest of us, for this lifetime and any other." Roman swallows, eyes flicking back and forth. "And—oh, they might kill me for this, but I think they would do the same."

"Well, then it's a good thing I've got an ingredient for resurrection spells, isn't it?"

Roman laughs, a small and breathless thing. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes, you may."

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#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #fic #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #roman sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #patton sanders #logan sanders

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